This story is the story of life moving on after tragedy. This chapter made me cry a little, but you might find solace in it. The next chapter is the last chapter and hopefully we can all find resolution and peace with it. I'm sorry that I've taken you through this sadness journey with me. I obviously had something I had to work through. I've lost friends to the pandemic. I have friends with and have lost friends to cancer. All I wish is that I had one more day with them. I wish that I had a video or something that made me remember who they are. Some of them had videos online and I watch them once in a while. I have a good cry and raise a toast to them. Maybe this is about that… I don't know.

I don't own Rizzoli & Isles. I don't own the characters. The original idea for this story is mine. I'm not making any profit from any of it.

Thank you for coming this far. There are really no warnings for this other than you may need a tissue.

The Stone

6

Years slipped by like wind across the water. Time moved, making waves and then settled back into rhythm. It flowed over and through times and events in the lives of the people who loved the woman whose name was etched in a stone that stood at the top of the grassy knoll. The view was still beautiful and the trees still stood nearby. They were taller and more full than when the stone was first placed, but the face of the stone hadn't changed and the love of the people was still as strong and perhaps stronger in some ways.

The two women had come on a beautiful spring day and buried a small container near the stone. The dark one shed a few tears as she placed the grass back on the spot. "Hey, Maura. I've missed you. We brought the rest of the remaining "genetic material" just like you asked. You know, I can still hear your voice in my head when I say things like that. "Genetic Material"." Jane smiled at the thought of Maura's voice saying all of the Google things that used to spill from her mouth with ease. "Anyway, we decided that three beautiful gifts were enough to complete our family. They are wonderful souls that have so much of you in them it scares me. They are so smart and talented. We are giving them all of the love that we can exactly like you wished for your own children. Your mom, like my mom, saw you in them almost immediately. She was kind enough not to say anything to me up until MJ turned 13. She just came right out and asked me. I took her to a quiet place in the house and told her the truth. Oh, Maura, you should have seen the look of joy that spread on the woman's face. She had been so lost without you for so long and in that moment she looked like she had finally found her hope. I think it healed so many of the hurts that she had carried around how she raised you. I know she's not my mother, but she's family. She treats them like she would her own grandchildren. It's amazing to watch. Now that they know who she is, they treat her the same and yet differently."

Jane cleared her throat. The overwhelming sadness that she had felt for so many years after Maura's passing, had subsided into waves lapping the shore instead of the tsunami it once was, but it was still there. She had spent many more years with Chris and the kids than she and Maura had over years that they had been together, but there was still a pull to the woman she had loved first. Maura still had her first heart. "The kids know now, too. MJ is so smart it was hard to keep it a secret anyway."

"Hey, Mom?" MJ walked into her mom's study to find her on the couch staring at the ceiling. She was likely listening to a podcast about true crime. She was always going to be a cop.

"Yeah, hold on a sec." Jane sat up and pulled her earbuds out to give her daughter her full attention. "What's up, my darling?"

The teenager held out a small zipper container that had Maura written across the front. "What's this?"

Jane took the container and her face fell just enough for MJ to know that the container wasn't for her. "That...those are flash drives of…..of Maura. Where did you get them?"

"Oh. I was looking for a different charger in the box downstairs and this was in the bottom. Are you mad at me?" She frowned enough to make the creases in her young brow appear.

"No! Honey, not at all" The dark haired woman took a long deep breath. "They are from a long time ago. Maura made recordings from the time she found out she was sick up until the time she didn't have any energy to make them anymore. I think our wedding is there, too. Someone at some point, probably Uncle Frankie, put them on these drives for me so that if someday I wanted… Anyway, I put them in the zipper case for safe keeping. I know that they've been moved all over the place." Jane handed the case back to her daughter. "I'll be honest kiddo, I've never watched them. I just couldn't, back then, ya know? After that I kind of forgot that they existed. I chose to forget, I think. I know that you're big enough to understand now. I really missed her so much that I didn't think my heart could take watching them. After that I didn't want your mom to get mad at me for, well just because."

MJ sat on the couch next to her mom. "Mom, you know that Mama would never get mad at you for that." Jane put an easy arm around her child. "Probably not, but I love your mom and never wanted her to feel like she wasn't enough for me. It's hard when people live in the shadow of other people. Your mama lived for a long time in Maura's shadow I think."

"She never acts like she thinks that. I think that you think it more than she ever would. She loves you, Ma. You know you two are the perfect couple, right? All of my friends say you are their relationship goals." She giggled at the thought. Her friends had never seen the two of them fight and boy were they good at it.

"Excellent! I'm influencing a new generation! Yaaaaay!" Jane and Chris had made a vow to honor their first loves by loving each other the best they knew how to do even when trouble came along. They worked and grew together. She was happy that her children saw it.

MJ gave her mom the best eye roll that a teen could exhibit."Mom, Just...stop. You're a nut. Anyway, so…..do you mind if I watch them?"

Jane was quiet for a few seconds."Babe, why would you want to?"

MJ shrugged. "I dunno. Ya know, she was a big part of your life before us. I mean you even named me after her. I still go up and do my homework at her grave sometimes if I can get Nonna to drive me. When I get really hard work it seems like I think better up there. I don't know why. I'm really curious what she was like."

Jane bent her head. "Yeah, kiddo. You can watch them. I'll even watch the first one with you if you want."

"Sure if you want to."

"Maybe though, we should ask your mama what she thinks."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"Please, pass the rolls."

Jamie picked one up with his bare hands and cried, "GO LONG!"

"James Patrick! You put that down. Can we, just ONE time, just one time, not play a sport at the dinner table?" Chris was trying not to laugh at her son, but he was so crazy for football that it was overwhelming at times.

"K, mama. I was just kidding, you know."

"I know, but manners are still important, if you don't mind. Connor, no books at the table tonight either. MJ put your phone down." She looked over at her wife who appeared to be reading a report of some kind. "Jane, that means you, too." There was no response. "Jane?" Nothing.

"MOM!"

"WHAT! Why all the yelling? Sheesh!"

"No reading at the table. What have you got there anyway?"

"Nothing...well something. Frankie sent me over a file from a cold case I worked on like 7 years ago. I guess they have a new lead and he wanted me to look over the depositions."

"That's great, babe, but no reading at the dinner table."

"Right. No reading." She felt sufficiently chastised and set the file aside. No distractions at the table was her rule so she had to abide. "Okay well, MJ and I have something she wants to ask you."

"Oh okay. What's up?"

MJ looked at Jane and then at Chris. "You know Maura, right?"

The red head nodded. "I know of her. I never met her." Her voice was soft, but she wondered where this was going.

"That's what I meant. You know about her." Chris nodded affirmation that she understood now. "K. So I found these flash drives with stuff on them from her and I want to know if I can.." She looked at Jane who nodded to her to go on. "I want to watch them."

The redhead sat for a few minutes. They hadn't yet told the kids the whole story about how they came to be. They had never lied to them. Maura was the only one who looked like either of them because she looked ever so slightly like Jane. The boy's faces were the spitting image of Maura if she had been male. The difference was that the both boys had thick black curls adorning their heads. She surmised that if MJ watched the videos she would eventually realize that she was the very likeness of Maura. Chris had never seen any of the videos although she knew of them. She had never seen Maura in action so to speak, but there were still a couple of pictures of her in Jane's office. "Well."

"Why not mom?"

"I didn't say no, I just…Jane what do you think"

Jane looked softly at her wife. "I think it's time."

Chris shook her head a little and drew in a breath. "Okay, but we will watch together. Deal?"

"Do we have to? I don't want to." One of the boys spoke up with fear in his voice and not just a little anger.

Jane looked at her son with compassion. "No you don't have to, but you might want to. There are a lot of reasons. I suppose you might be bored."

"It's not that. It's just mom's old dead wife." The angry tone in the boy's voice was telling a story.

"Connor Francis!" The former attorney wasn't having it at her table. It was one thing to disagree, it was another to be mean or rude. She wasn't about to let him go.

Jane touched Chris's arm and shook her head. "Let me." She turned to her son. "Connor, why so angry?"

Connor shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you act like you don't love mama when you talk about her. I don't want to see her at all. She's gone a long time and I don't want to know."

"I see. You know I love Mama with my whole heart right?"

The boy shook his head and his dark curls bounced around his eyes. "No. You guys love each other with only parts of your hearts. I know it's true."

Jane smiled at her son. He had fire and she appreciated that in him. "Con, you know what I say about love right? It's like a liquid? But after long consideration I've decided that it's more like a gas. It can go anywhere and all over. There's more than enough to go around. It's how I can love you and your brother and even your sister and still have a lot of love left over for Mama. I have love for Maura, I always will, but I have more than enough for Mama, too."

He crossed his arms. He wasn't buying it. "It should be for only Mama."

"Then how would I love you?" She understood his point completely.

"It's not the same, Mom." His voice was slightly defeated.

Jane got up and squatted beside him. She ran her fingers through his thick hair. "Connor, when you're older you'll see that you can't ever put limits on love. I love you ALL with my whole heart." She leaned in and kissed his temple.

"Yeah, yeah. I love you, too. I still don't want to watch."

She stood up and nodded. "Fair enough. I would never make you, bud."

"May I be excused, please?"

Jane ran her fingers through his hair. She loved him with everything she had in that moment. Even his anger was a tell-tale sign that Maura lived on in her family. "Yes you may, Con. I love you."

Connor took his book and headed up the stairs. He was sad and upset about the rest of them wanting to watch something that didn't even mean anything anymore.

Chris reached out her hand to Jane. "Are you sure you're ready for this? It could be a big shock to your system to see her again."

"I really don't know, but it's time to find out." She wasn't sure, but she knew enough to keep herself emotionally safe. She had been through years of therapy to grow past the constant pain. She knew her triggers and her reactions to them. If it got overwhelming she would take a break.

MJ put the first drive in. It was labeled one so that's where they started. The menu came up and she clicked on the first file. A face came up on the screen. The girl turned her head when she heard her mother give a small gasp.

"Oh my God. Jane, she's so beautiful." Chris had seen a few pictures, but this person before her was real. She was stunning. Chris suddenly felt insecure in a way that she had never felt with Jane before. It came and went quickly when her wife gently took her hand in reassurance.

"She was one of the most beautiful souls I've ever met. She was beautiful inside and out." She wasn't going to lie about Maura or her feelings about her. Maura deserved to be known for everything that she was.

"Want me to push play, Mom?"

She shrugged first and then she nodded. A voice that she hadn't heard in over 15 years came through the speakers and her eyes immediately filled with tears.

"Hi My love. My darling, Jane. If you're watching this video I have either been miraculously cured or I have passed on. It is most likely the latter. We just found out three days ago, I should say it was confirmed three days ago, that I am terminal. I'm so sorry my sweet Jane. I know what pain this must be causing you. My heart is hurting for you and your whole family. I am sad to know that I am the cause of all of that pain. I'm sad for me, too. I want to live and love with you. I want children and a house and everything with you, my wife, my love." The woman in the video paused as she started to tear up. She wiped the tears away with tissues and continued. "I will tell you this, Jane Rizzoli, I wouldn't give up a second of our time together. I wouldn't go back and change anything to save us all of the pain, because in the end, the love we share transcends even death. I know it's true. All the love that we have shared, will go forward with you when I am gone. I hope and pray that you find someone who will love you so much that you forget about the pain."

Jane's face was streaked with tears as she listened. She whispered out loud."I did, Maur. I really did."

"Jane, my hope for you as we go through this journey, or have gone at this point, is that you leaned on your mom and your friends. They want so badly to help you. Please, let them. Let them help you when I'm gone and in the years to come. I love you, sweetheart. You are my joy and my gift. I am thankful that we finally admitted our love and that you made an honest woman of me. I'm yours forever." She laughed with her beautiful smile beaming with her love.

MJ frowned for a second and stared at the screen. The woman laughed and it sounded exactly like her laugh. She pushed the pause button. Chris and Jane looked at each other and then at their daughter. "Am I related to her?"

Chris spoke first after many seconds of silence. She wasn't going to lie to them. They never had, except for Santa, Easter Bunny etc. They didn't always go into details based on age appropriateness, but they never lied. "Bug, you all are."

The girl was putting it together. Her mind had likely landed on the right answer, but she didn't. Her mind was having difficulty accepting it. "How? Is she like my Aunt or something?"

Jane started to answer. "Not exactly…."

Jamie looked at his mom and then at his mama. He was extremely intuitive and not just a little brilliant. "She's our mom, M. Not like our mom mom, but.. Our…"

Jane finished his thought. "She's your biological mother."

"WOW, do you have a lot of questions to answer." MJ laughed and the sound matched the one that they had just heard on the video.

"And that's how the kids came to find out about you. We watched some of the videos together, but I couldn't get through them. I'm so happy that you made them, if not for me then for the kids. MJ devoured them and everything you ever wrote. The other day she was reading Physiology of the Cranial Something of Venus and Milo or something… I don't know. She understood it. I had no idea what it was, but you had written it so she had to read it. Genius? Check. She has asked so many questions about you of Ma and Constance. I think that they are all Maura'ed out for now. She was completely obsessed for a while. She still tries to be like you in so many ways. She likes science and she's so good at it, but is drawn more to languages and writing. We think that someday she'll be a famous novelist. But, she has a long way to go before deciding. Connor eventually watched the first one because MJ made him. Honestly, I'm not sure how he feels other than he is completely devoted to Chris as his "real mom" and never wants to do anything that would hurt her. She's talked to him, but he refuses any conversation about it. And you know what? Good for him. He's doing the best he can with what he knows. MJ loves Chris obviously, she's her mom, but she's so much like you that she hyper focuses and loses a little bit of us when she does." Jane stopped for a few seconds. Chris had been walking around the grounds while Jane spoke, but now she was standing nearby with tears in her eyes. Jane stood up from her seated position to join her wife. She gently embraced her.

"Hey, babe, what's wrong?"

"I...I'm not really sure. I think it's because we're done." Jane looked at her confusion in her eyes. "With kids. I know we said we were done and I said okay that we're done, but I am sad about it. Yes, we're too old at this point to have children, but it's so...so….final. You know this is all that's left of her. I wasn't married to her, but sometimes it felt like we had a relationship, a close friendship, because of the kids and now it's over. She gave me my beautiful children and that's something I will never let go of. This sounds so silly. I wish I had known her. I wish I could meet her and thank her in person. I read something the other day about how we can actually grieve something that we never had. I grieve that I can't say "Thank you."

Jane's eyes were filled with love for her partner. "She knows, honey. She knows all of it. I know she does."

The two women took each other's hand and started towards the car. Jane turned and looked back at the headstone. "Thank you, Maura. For everything." She blew a kiss. She knew they likely wouldn't be back for a while. It was too much for everyone. Too many emotions. Too much pain. After all of this time, for her and probably for Chris, it was just too much.

The stone didn't mind that the women had walked away. It was there forever. Maybe one day the city would move it, but the cemetery had been in the same place for 200 years. It was likely to stay long past the time that anyone would visit or care. The thoughts of love, sadness and grief of the people are left with the stone. It sits and waits. The silent guardian.