All familiar characters belong to Janet. Mistakes are mine alone.

"Your father told me not to call you, but I knew you'd be madder than a wet bee if I didn't …"

I studied Steph's face as her cell spit those words out at her on speaker. "What's going on? Dad's okay, isn't he? I just saw him about an hour ago."

"He's just dandy, but your mother sure ain't," Edna replied. "Frank is trying to keep the peace, but my daughter and Aideen are circling the waters."

"No more watching Shark Week for your Grandmother, Babe," I told my wife.

"No kidding around, this could be serious." She turned back to her cell. "Grandma? You're saying Mom's at Aideen's café?"

"Yup. Didn't even bother to order a coffee and a muffin before she started in on them."

"Where are you?" Steph asked.

"At a table on the sidelines. Helen didn't see me yet, didn't see nobody except Frank's new sweetie to be honest."

"This is bad," my wife told me.

"They're all basically adults, Steph. They can take care of themselves. You don't need to get involved."

"Then why do I feel like I should be there?"

"Because you're a good person, and you know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Helen's spite so you'd like to protect your father and Aideen from that. But that doesn't mean you have to put yourself through this kind of shit again."

"Listen to your hubby," Edna was saying. "I wasn't meaning for you to come down here and get yourself stuck in the middle of things. I just didn't want you blamin' me for keepin' secrets."

"Believe me, I'm not blaming anyone except Mom for this ambush. But I'm not going to be able to relax until I survey the damage Hurricane Helen is causing."

"I'll call Tank," I told her. "We're not taking Olivia."

"Of course we're not, but you don't have to babysit me. You can stay here with our baby. I'm also an adult who can take care of herself."

"Yes, but I'm the kind of husband who protects his wife, even from her own family when it's needed. I'm going."

"Grandma, we'll be there in seven minutes. If Mom's head starts rotating, duck under the table and then call 911."

"Will do."

She hung up and I watched Stephanie take a fortifying breath. "I knew a divorce wasn't going to be enough to keep my parents apart, but I was really hoping it would officially end that era of their lives. Dad's come a long way, but there's always a part of me that believes Mom will push the right button and he'll go right back to the life that numbed him before it started killing him."

"It's normal to be concerned, Steph, but you can't live your life trying to fix everyone else's."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Did you of all people just say that to me? The man with three, used to be four buildings, full of men whose lives you hoped to fix and ultimately save?"

"Why don't we drop Olivia and the mutts off on five and give the Uncles' some impromptu playtime with our daughter?"

"Alright. And nice way of not having to tell me that I'm right about there being a different set of rules for you than the rest of us have."

"You're right a lot of the time."

"Really?"

I grinned. "No, but it's cute that you believed me."

I dodged her elbow and used my arms like restraining bands over hers, hoping for a kiss without getting bitten in the process. I like to live dangerously, and Stephanie definitely keeps me alert and always on my toes. Lucky for me, she still sighs and immediately melts into me every time my mouth closes over hers. I could feel that she was on the verge of a moan when something plowed into our legs. We broke apart and looked down at Olivia making her 'kissy-fishy face' up at us.

"How did you know that you're getting to go downstairs to visit your Uncles?" Steph asked Olive, leaning down to kiss her little upturned face.

"Be down dere," Olivia condensed as only she can.

"That's right, Olive. Mama and Daddy are going out to get some coffee and thought you'd like to play with Mo and Gunny in the 'big screen' room downstairs until we get back."

"I'll have to hire a new man, who hasn't already been wrapped around her finger, just to keep track of how many emergencies go unnoticed when Olivia's 'visiting' the control room," I teased.

I got Olivia's sneakers from her room and then Steph sat our daughter on the sideboard to slip the pre-tied 'Love' Keds onto her feet. The chore went faster because instead of trying to 'help' get herself dressed, our daughter was bending her entire upper body over Steph's arm trying to pull the tennis ball out of Gunny's mouth. Our dog wasn't about to relinquish his toy and our baby wasn't giving up.

I resolved the issue by opening the front door as soon as Olivia had both feet covered. All three ran out like our apartment was on fire while Mado napped on, and we took the stairs just to cut down on time.

"Olib, here!" She shouted, throwing both arms up in the air as if celebrating a victory as soon as I'd pushed the door open for her.

Although she is in fact announcing her presence to her own personal Army, her tone and body language are all toddler enthusiasm, not regal authority as Kane's 'Princess' nickname would suggest.

"Watch Olivia and her hounds or die," I told the men currently on five. "Steph and I will be at Aideen's place. We won't be long."

"What's going on?" Bobby asked.

"My Mom," Steph said, as an explanation.

No one needed to know more than those two words to understand the situation.

"You need me to tag along?" Atlas asked. "Me and 'ol Helly have some unfinished business."

I glanced at Steph for an answer. This is her call.

"Sure," she said. "You'll be more useful when it comes to my mother than my baby. For a scary, tough gang guy, kids seem to really freak you out."

"Anything that low to the ground freaks me out. Why do you think I have a problem with that rug you call a cat?"

"You're weird?" She answered.

"I set myself up for that one, didn't I?"

"You did. Olive!" Steph called. "Kisses for Mama and Daddy!"

Our daughter left Bobby's watch alone long enough to run back to us. Ever since she'd discovered that his Apple watch can play cartoons if she asks nicely, it's become a new weapon in Brown's battle with her GodTank for her affections. As Steph likes to say, our 'poor kid' doesn't have a hope in hell of living a normal life with this particular group determined to love and protect her equally. But I remain pleased that my ladies have earned that kind of loyalty on their own merits. Being my reason for living only added to the men's need to keep them happy and safe.

Two lip-smacks later from our daughter, and we were on our way to Aideen's café.

"Seriously, why won't you just let me kill the broad?" Atlas asked, while I drove the three of us out of the front gate. "It'd cut down on a lot of these kinds of interruptions."

"It would, but murder is kinda illegal," Stephanie replied. "Oh … and she's my mother."

"And? She ain't much of one as far as I've seen. Here's somethin' to think about … she's technically your kid's grandma too, but I don't see that stopping you from offing her yourself if she did even a quarter of the shit to your daughter that she does to you. Just sayin'."

Helen isn't anything resembling a mother, but wanting a parent to die isn't in Steph's nature no matter how toxic one of them is.

"Do you have any idea how this looks?" Was the question being posed to Frank as we entered the café.

"Do you have any idea what a big buffoon you're lookin' like, Helen?" Was Edna's response.

"Stop it. This is a coffee shop, not a playground, Helen," Frank was trying to say in-between the glares being shot back and forth between Edna and her daughter.

"Mom, knock it off," Steph said, keeping her voice quiet and even. "You can't just disrupt Aideen's business because you're unhappy that Dad has a life separate from yours."

"Well hello, Stephanie. Why am I not surprised that you came running over here? Did your father call you?"

"No," Edna said. "I did. Us at Rangeman stick together."

"Oh how … nice. The place where criminals stick up for other criminals."

Atlas nudged my wife. "Hey, your Mom remembers me. I'm flattered."

"You shouldn't be. Her attention isn't something you want on you. And you're not a criminal, you're a guy who's in the process of recovering from really shitty parents and a horrible childhood."

"Meaning I can take yours on top of them. She's," he said, nodding his head towards Helen, "nothing."

My wife's lips tilted up. "I bet you can survive anything thrown at you except Ranger. Maybe you could get her outside so the customers will stop staring."

He bowed dramatically just to irritate Steph, but then sidled up to my mother-in-law. "You," he barked, "outside now or I'll shoot you. I bet customers would even pay me money to do it just to shut you up."

"Damn it. I do like him," my wife whispered to me.

"It takes a minute, but then he sucks you right in."

"I'll keep an eye on the place if you all need to follow them," Edna offered.

Frank looked apprehensive. "I'll go talk to her. Aideen doesn't …"

"Aideen doesn't need someone speaking for her," she told Frank. "I appreciate you trying to spare me, Frankie, but that woman already believes she can boss you around and walk right over you afterwards. She won't be operating under that same delusion with me. Unless you miss all that drama and want …?"

Aideen let her question fade to black. It was a surprise the first time I'd heard my father-in-law referred to as anything other than 'Dad' or 'Frank', but Aideen had let it slip that whenever she said 'Frank', she detected a slight clenching of his muscles as if he were bracing for an attack. So Frankie he became just to prevent some of his Helen flashbacks.

Thankfully, he was paying attention to what Aideen was implying but didn't want to say. "No, I'm not interested in going back to Helen … or to that. My marriage was over long before lawyers got involved. I just know how she is."

"Yeah, well I'm all too familiar with people just like her. And if you let her, she'll pull you right back into her chaos. You can tell her to leave and she'll just come back when she thinks you won't be here. If you let me speak to her, she'll know that she can't use me to hurt you or get me out of the way so you'll go back to that Burg place."

"But, I …"

"Dad," Steph added, "Aideen knows what she's talking about. Mom wants to chip away at the hard work you've done and all the progress you've made so she can have you under her thumb again. Please don't let her. Val, I, and the girls have just as much to lose as you do if Mom wins this round."

He didn't look happy about it, but 'Frankie' threw up his hands in surrender. "Fine, but I'm going outside too."

I nodded in approval. It'd be a chickenshit move to let your girlfriend and daughter clean up your mess, but it's smart to step back when you already know you'll just be a liability in the fight.

"You can't take a hint, can you?" Atlas was telling Helen. "Always popping up where you're not wanted. Are you that stupid or just stubborn?"

"How dare you …?"

"Atlas was invited here, Mom, you weren't," my wife said, once all four of us had made it outside and stood looking at the street where my wife made an arrest that stopped my heart and cemented Aideen's place in our life.

"Is that any way to speak to your mother, Stephanie? I raised you better than that."

"You didn't raise me, you bullied me non-stop. They're not the same thing. But I didn't come here to talk about us. You have no right to disrupt Aideen's workday or bother Dad. You agreed to a divorce, that means you're both free to do whatever you want now."

"I didn't agree to a divorce, I was threatened into signing those papers."

"Arlen and Thaddeus say 'hi'," I told her, reminding her of the connections I have. "They enjoyed our conversation and are looking forward to an update when we get together for the wedding that'll officially make them family."

Her lips didn't just thin, they completely disappeared in displeasure.

"Look, Helen …" Aideen began.

"Mrs. Plum to you," Helen interrupted to say.

"Helen," Aideen repeated, ignoring her and continuing with what she wanted to say, "there is nothing you can do to keep me away from Frankie. And there's nothing you can say to have me believing you want anything more than to wreak havoc around here for your own amusement. The shell you turned your ex-husband into is gone and he's a living, breathing, loving man now. What you want is dead and won't be coming back whether or not I'm in the picture. I suggest you find a new target and leave your daughters and ex alone."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Helen stated.

"Oh, I don't? So you didn't get married just because it was expected of you? You didn't decide on Frankie because you thought you could control him? You didn't pit your daughters against each other so you'd have constant drama in the house to feed off of? You didn't show up here convinced that I'd be intimidated by your tantrum and do whatever you want, or that Frankie would be so embarrassed by your behavior he'd agree to talk to you away from me? Tell me again how I don't know what I'm talking about."

"If Amari didn't own what's left of me," Atlas whispered, "I'd have a go at that one."

Steph shoved him to get him to stop talking, but even she was smiling at both his and Aideen's performances.

"It's sad that you couldn't be happy with a family who wanted to love you," Aideen told Mrs. Plum, "but what's even more pathetic is knowing that you don't have the capacity to care about anything but your precious image. You can harass me, camp out in my café, try to ruin my friendship with Frankie and Stephanie, but I promise you … nothing will come of it. You can't manipulate me or threaten them. You may rule your neighborhood, but you have zero power here."

"Satisfied now, Helen?" I asked. "Stephanie and I have both warned you that people can see right through you, your act, and your motives, and this is just another example. You're not nearly as smart or as influential as you think you are."

"Can I shoot her now?" Atlas whined, always one to be helpful.

"No," Aideen and Steph said simultaneously.

"It would've been really nice if you would have at least asked how Stephanie, Valerie, and their girls are before you started attacking me and my relationship with Aideen," Frank said to his ex, "but don't think I didn't notice that you never asked about the family we created. I can forgive a lot, Helen, but I'm not forgiving or forgetting how you continue to ignore and insult the best part of my life."

"Frank," Helen said, changing tactics and trying to sound conciliatory now, "be reasonable."

I felt Steph flinch beside me as her mind replayed all the times Helen has used those same words on her before the guilt and manipulation began.

"He is being reasonable, Mom," my wife stated, standing strong. "You're the one acting crazy. Just go home and be grateful you still have one. I'll personally see to it that you lose that too if you show up here again."