The first two weeks of October went by in a flash. Rachel kept the two potions books they'd been given in her bag and had them out any time she wasn't working on something else. Theo and Hermione were equally obsessed with them.
The first book detailed a large number of potions and ingredients. According to Professor Slughorn, most of the potions they would be expected to know were in this book and they needed to know them by memory as they wouldn't be allowed books during the challenges. Hermione had listed out the days they had before the potions championship and declared that if they memorized five potions a week, then they would be in good shape.
Rachel had asked Severus if this sort of brute force memorization was typical for a Potions Mastery. He had told her that there were certain potions that every Potions Master was expected to know by memory, including things like common healing potions and antidotes, but in general no one would expect them to have what was in that book memorized by the time they started a Mastery. He had also said that if she was serious about Potions as a career, she should be prepared to brew from memory in a number of circumstances.
She had taken this to heart and had begun a new ritual before bed. Every evening she sat down, conjured a long scroll of parchment, and began to write down the recipes of various potions that she'd memorized, going for as long as she could. She didn't do that with ingredients, not yet, but she had a fair portion of the most common ingredients and their properties memorized from OWL prep last year. When Theo had told Hermione what Rachel was doing, Hermione had thought it was an excellent idea and had begun to do the same. Theo and Draco maintained that they could do the practice in their heads.
The second book Professor Slughorn had given them was a deep dive into Potions theory. When Rachel had shown the book to Severus, he had said something along the lines of "he's teaching you from that old thing?" with a tone that meant he wasn't particularly pleased. Rachel had asked if there was a book they should be using instead and Severus had plucked a volume from his bookshelf and told her to supplement with that for now and that he would buy her a better book as soon as he got a moment to send an Owl Order to Flourish and Blotts.
Rachel had quietly loaned the book to her friends and after reading it, she understood why Severus had felt their theory book needed supplementing. The book Professor Slughorn had provided had somewhat antiquated ideas about ingredient substitution, balances - particularly concerning Arithmancy - and how certain elements in brewing worked. She had also allowed Severus to deface her copy of the potions recipes book with his slight alterations to recipes, which she then also shared with her friends.
Right now she felt like she could hold her focus on what she was studying, and as long as she did that, everything was okay. It was when she stopped and let herself breathe that things seemed to be falling apart. She hated those moments of blankness where her chest constricted and everything felt like it was drowning her. She'd learned to push them away by ruthlessly occupying her mind, but it felt like every time she pushed back, the tidal wave in her mind grew bigger the next time.
Quidditch was still not going as she'd wanted. She'd started letting loose the practice Snitch so that Viola would have practice catching it, but Rachel knew that Viola was currently no match against Cho. There was also no way that Rachel was playing in the match on the twenty sixth. She was slowly increasing the amount of time that she could be on a broom, but it wasn't enough yet for a game and she was a little bit worried about diving for the Snitch while she was shaking so hard.
At least the rest of her team seemed to be in good shape. Harper had fit seamlessly with Martin and Draco and they were well on their way to becoming a superior force on the pitch. Timothy still needed some work, but he was better than Ravenclaw's Keeper, which was all they needed right now. Scarlett and Stephen were becoming the Beater team to watch as well, now that they weren't competing against the Weasley twins.
The DA was still going well, even with Professor Nash watching over them. They had done the obstacle course lesson again, this time giving people an objective and letting them attempt to run through as safely as possible. Rachel had declined to go through it, by that point in the day her legs were shaking pretty readily, but she could feel that she was slowly gaining strength.
On a Friday evening in mid October the study group had met to do their Potions homework and Draco had joined them as he had been for the past few weeks. Rachel was hoping that with more time, Draco would become more comfortable with them and join them for more than just Potions homework.
Today they were working on an essay about Everlasting Elixirs and how they interacted with other potions. Not all potions could be coupled with an Everlasting Elixir, not even most of them, and they were tasked with determining which ones could be used with it.
"Not with the Wit-Sharpening potion, because the Armadillo bile will react and create a poison," Hermione said absently, making a mark on her list.
"And not with the Deflating Draught, though why anyone would waste Everlasting Elixir on that, I don't know," Draco added, seemingly equally as entranced by the work as Hermione.
Rachel rubbed her temple. She was getting a headache, but she didn't think it was a headache from the Dark Lord. She took a moment and quested outward, trying to feel whatever the Dark Lord was feeling. Irritable, she finally decided. Not particularly vexed or thwarted, just irritable. It was a little odd that she didn't think she'd ever felt him feel happy, but whatever caused the Dark Lord to be happy would bound to be terrible for the rest of them.
She returned to her work, intending to have this assignment done before curfew, and began flipping through her potions book. A number of healing potions could be used with the Everlasting Elixir, but not Skele-Gro because of the pufferfish eyes.
Finally they all had two feet on the subject and they wearily said goodnight and split into their respective Houses to journey to their common rooms.
Rachel ran through what needed doing in her head. She mostly had the hang of non-verbal casting by now, so she didn't need to spend time on that anymore. Homework assignments for the week were finished, but she'd promised Pansy and Daphne that she'd help them with Arithmancy tomorrow. The study group needed an Ancient Runes memorizing session tomorrow as well. The rest of the time when she wasn't meeting with someone she could devote to Potions studies.
"Acta, non verba," Millie said to open the common room.
Rachel thought Severus had been rather pointed with his passwords this year, though the only reason she knew that was because she had Theo and Draco to translate. Maybe she should learn latin? She considered that for a moment then shook her head to herself. There simply wasn't enough time and it wasn't a top priority.
"I'm going to go grab a book from my room, I'll be right back," Theo told them before heading toward the boys dorms with Draco.
She checked her watch. It was eight thirty, which meant she had about an hour before her body really forced her to go to sleep. That meant it was time to work on her potions recipes memorization.
A scream from the boys' dorms caused a ripple of silence throughout the common room.
"Theo!" Rachel gasped, running in the direction of the boys dorms, barely aware that she'd drawn her wand. Millie was on her heels and together they rushed into the hallway and stopped just outside the open door of the sixth year boys dorm.
Theo and Draco were both standing inside their dorm. There was blood pooled on one of the beds and it had spilled over the edge of the mattress and was puddling on the floor. The blood still looked wet and shiny. In the bed was a deer. More specifically, a doe.
"Are either of you hurt?" Millie asked, also clutching her wand.
Theo and Draco both silently shook their heads.
"Let me through, let me see," Tristram said, his tone urgent.
Rachel took a step back and realized that people were crowding into the hallway.
"Tracey, get them out of here," Tristram said as he stepped inside the dorm room.
"On it," Tracey said. "Let's go, back to the common room. Let us handle this."
"What happened?" Stephen asked.
"We're still sorting that out, I'm sure rumor will have made it through the House by tomorrow. Back to the common room," Tracey said, herding people away from the dorm.
"Did either of you touch anything?" Tristram asked Theo and Draco from inside the dorm room.
"No," Theo said.
"Let's go back in the hall then, it's better if Professor Snape sees this exactly as it was. Tracey, we need Professor Snape," Tristram called.
"I've got it," Millie said before casting her Patronus. "To Severus Snape. We need you in the boys' dormitory hall as soon as possible. No one is injured." Her zebra galloped away with the message.
"That was your bed?" Tristram asked Draco.
"Yes," Draco said quietly as they exited into the hallway.
Rachel met Draco's eyes and knew the symbolism of the dead doe wasn't lost on either of them. It was her Patronus form and Draco had been the one to save her from death at the hands of the Dark Lord. This was a threat directed at both of them.
"Let me through, I'm a prefect, damn it!" Pansy called as she pushed past people. "Draco, are you alright?"
"Fine," he said, though he accepted Pansy's hug.
"I put Amy and Fergus on watching the entrance of the hall," Tracey said as she returned. "I don't think you two should do that here, it's still not safe."
"I don't care," Pansy said, her face buried against Draco's chest.
"You will care if your parents hear about it," Tracey reminded her.
"She's right, Pans," Draco said, gently pulling away from Pansy. "If you want to go home over Christmas we can't do this here."
Pansy looked upset but she let go. "What happened? What's in there?"
"A dead doe, in my bed. Its throat was cut," Draco said after a moment.
She twisted to look at Rachel. "How many people know the form of your Patronus?"
"A lot. I don't think it's a secret from the Death Eaters," Rachel said. She didn't think many people outside of the Order and her friends knew Severus' Patronus form though. This was definitely directed at her.
Millie sighed heavily. "Professor Snape will find whoever did this, just like he did with the Dark Mark on our door."
"And then what? Give them detention?" Draco asked, his voice pitched slightly higher than usual.
"Professor Snape told us about the Dark Mark on your door, but I don't think this was Selina and Ella," Tracey said.
Tristram shook his head. "I can't see two thirteen year old girls killing a deer. Not to mention, whoever did it had to use some relatively advanced magic to manage doing this without being caught."
Rachel frowned. There were no good options. Giving whoever did this detention wouldn't do anything. Suspending them would just send them back to the Death Eaters for more instructions. Expelling them would just lead to them joining the Death Eaters earlier than planned.
Severus entered the hallway and Rachel watched as his eyes quickly assessed each of them, starting and ending with her. "What happened?"
"There's a dead doe in my bed," Draco said, his mouth twisting in distaste.
"Have you touched anything in the room?" Severus asked.
"No, sir. We went in, found the doe, Tristram joined us, and then we came back out here," Theo said.
Severus nodded. "When was the last time you were in your dorm?"
"I dropped my cauldron off after class, but not since then," Theo said.
"Just before dinner, so just before six. Everything looked normal then," Draco added.
Rachel quickly thought about the Slytherin table that evening and tried to remember if anyone had been missing for the meal. She remembered seeing Hestia and Flora, Simon and Maxwell, Crabbe, and Michael. Those were the top people she suspected of doing this. Maybe they had time to do it after dinner?
Severus drew his wand and began motioning at the door. "The wards weren't disrupted, which means whoever entered was a boy. I think we can make the assumption they were Slytherin as well." He moved to open the door.
"Don't look," Draco whispered to Pansy.
Pansy hesitated and then turned her back on the door, her face slightly flush.
Seeing the doe wasn't any better the second time. Rachel bit her lip as she watched Severus move around Draco's bed, his wand working silently. Once again, he seemed to be using magic beyond what they were taught at Hogwarts and she wondered how he learned all the things that he seemed to know.
"Pipsy," Severus said.
A House Elf in a Hogwarts tea towel appeared. "Yes, Master Snape sir?"
"We need the mattress and all the linens from this bed to be vanished and replaced with clean ones. We need the blood cleaned up. Can you have this taken care of within the hour?" he asked.
"Yes, sirs. We can do that," Pipsy said, seeming unperturbed by the dead doe.
"Thank you," Severus said. He left the dorm room, pulling the door closed behind him, and then began working with his wand again. "I have modified the wards on your dorm only to admit the four sixth years who live here. That should either prevent something similar from happening again, or give us a very small suspect pool if something does happen."
"Thank you, sir," Theo said.
"I have also added ventilation charms to the room. The smell should be gone in about an hour. I will begin looking into this and see if we can identify who is responsible. For the time being, I want all of you to be cautious. This was clearly a threat. Try not to be alone inside the castle," Severus said, looking at each of them.
"We will," Millie said.
"We'll keep an eye out in the common room as well and see if we notice anyone acting odd," Tristram said.
Severus nodded again. "Rachel, did you want to come back to my quarters with me?"
"No, sir. I'm fine here." She wasn't going to let them scare her out of her dorm.
He watched her for a moment longer. "Alright. You know how to reach me if you need me. Goodnight."
They all watched as he left and Rachel glanced back at her friends. Each of them looked worried.
"Let's go back out into the common room. We'll tell people to leave you alone," Tracey said.
"Come sit with the prefects, they won't bother you there," Tristram said.
Rachel followed them out of the hallway and went with the prefects over to the sofas by the fireplace. It felt a little bit odd sitting over here instead of in their usual spot.
After a few minutes, Blaise approached. "What's in our dorm room?" he asked Theo.
"A dead doe in Draco's bed. We should give the room about an hour to air out," Theo said.
Blaise's eyes darted over to Draco and then back to Theo. "Professor Snape is doing something about it?"
"He is. You can sit with us if you want," Theo offered.
Blaise seemed to consider this and then he shook his head. "Thanks. I'll see you later."
"What do we do?" Pansy asked quietly after a long moment.
Rachel wished she knew the answer to that. Like so many things in her life, it seemed like the only thing she could do was be on her guard and wait for the other shoe to drop.
"Anything that you've noticed?" Severus asked, hating himself as he quested into his seventh year prefect's mind.
"People are still talking about it, that's for sure. Most popular theory I've heard in the common room is that someone stunned the doe, shrank it, brought it into the dormitory and then used the Cutting hex. Or, that's the most reasonable theory at least. I've heard plenty of unreasonable theories," Tristram said.
Severus hovered in his mind for a moment longer, pressing for any other associations from the scene in Tristram's mind. There were Draco and Theo's shocked faces, Tristram's revulsion upon seeing the dead doe, and then him quickly herding them out of the room and the need to take control of the situation. He exited Tristram's mind. He had truly not expected to find anything, but he was out of options.
He had spoken with - and used legilimency on - every boy in Slytherin House over the last two days and not one of them had the memory of killing the doe in Draco's bed. "Not a Cutting hex," Severus said, picking up the thread of the conversation. "It was done manually with a knife. A Cutting hex would have cut the head clean off and the Severing charm would not have cut deeply enough to kill. There were also blade marks." Severus hadn't bothered searching for the knife, any student with a knife in their potions kit could have done it.
Tristram grimaced slightly. "I didn't look that closely, sir."
"No need for you to do so," Severus assured him.
"There's something else that I should tell you. People know that Rachel's Patronus form is a doe. And by now, people know that Draco was the one who saved her from You-Know-Who a few months ago. I'm not sure where those rumors started, whether it was just the fact that Draco was in the hospital wing at the same time as Rachel or if there are other sources. I know Draco doesn't speak of it. But I think it's a pretty clear message. Whoever did this was being pretty blunt," Tristram said, his brow furrowed.
"They were direct, yes," he agreed. Too direct. The threat was very clear. Now if only he knew who had done it.
"I've been watching Simon and Maxwell in the dorm. They're a little more circumspect around me this year. I feel like they're the most likely suspects, but I haven't seen anything that supports that. They were both at dinner on Friday night."
"Continue to watch, someone may yet reveal themselves when they feel that the investigation has stopped," he directed. "Take care in the halls, you may yet become a target."
"I'm less worried about me than I am about Rachel and Draco. I can handle myself. I watch over Tracey too, just in case," he said, nodding earnestly.
"Good, but maintain situational awareness. No one is invulnerable to ambushes." He waited until Tristram had nodded again. "Is there anything else you think I should know?"
Tristram shook his head. "First and second years are a bit aflutter, but that's only to be expected after something like this. All of the prefects are trying to reassure them that everything is being handled and that no one is in danger. Pansy and Draco need to be more discreet if Pansy truly wishes to keep their relationship from reaching her parents' ears."
"I will remind them." He was not particularly looking forward to that, but for Pansy's safety, he would remind them.
"Is there anything you need from me, sir?"
"No. Continue your observations. Let me know if anything is amiss," he said.
"I will," Tristram got up and left the office.
Severus sighed. He supposed he could interview all the girls, but he didn't quite see the point. The wards on the dorm room hadn't been broken, therefore the girls couldn't have entered.
The only possibility that remained was that someone had learned to hide their memories and was using such subtle defenses that Severus didn't register them as such. Matthew Turner was an occlumens, as was Bertrand Baddock and Winston Gifford. All taught by the Dark Lord. That they could have been instructed to teach occlumency to one of his students was a possibility, but was unlikely.
Almost on a whim, Severus got to his feet and threw floo powder into the fireplace. "Headmaster's office. Albus, are you in?"
"I am here, Severus. Please come through," Albus called.
Severus stepped through and found Albus in the chairs by the window. On the table in front of him was the ring that had cursed him. "You removed the curse, I presume?"
"I did, I needed to study what was underneath," Albus said, his eyes focused for a moment before he set down his wand. "What was it you needed, Severus?"
Severus walked over the window and stood so he could see Albus directly. "Are you familiar with a type of occlumency that is not generally detectable by a legilimens? It wouldn't register as a lock or a barrier of any kind. In fact, it would seem as though it was an untrained mind, except a specific memory would not be able to be found."
Albus seemed to consider this for a long moment, the corners of his mouth pulling down while he thought. "I have not heard of such a thing being done, but it might be possible. I think, perhaps, the simpler explanation in such a case would be either that the memory you're searching for does not exist, or that someone was carefully obliviated of the memory."
He shook his head. "One of my students has that memory. That doe did not appear in Draco's bed and kill itself. No Hogwarts House Elf would have performed the task. We have guarded against personal House Elves being brought into the school. A portkey would not have worked, nor apparition. One of my students got that doe from the forest, secreted it down into the boys' dorms, and killed it."
"And you checked all of your students using legilimency?" Albus asked, surprisingly without disapproval in his tone.
"All of the boys. Even if one of the girls was responsible for acquiring the doe, they could not have brought it into the boys' dorms. The wards were not broken or altered in any way. Usually killing is a standout memory for people. I should have been able to find it easily. There was nothing related to the incident in anyone's minds except for rumors and gossip, apart from Theo, Draco, and Tristram, who each saw the doe personally," Severus insisted. "As for obliviation, even if any of our students have learned the skill, I highly doubt that they could have performed an obliviation so neatly that there is no trace of the memory."
"That does seem unlikely. It's a skill that takes many months to master, even for people who are already skilled at mind magic," Albus allowed. "So what are the remaining possibilities?"
"The only one I can come up with is that it wasn't a Slytherin student. Perhaps they Polyjuiced themselves as one of my students, perhaps even conspiring with one of my students in order to gain their hairs and the common room password," he suggested.
"A complicated plot for a relatively simple threat. Where would they have gotten the Polyjuice?"
Severus shook his head. "A relative, perhaps. I know the Owl Post is being searched, but I also know students are still receiving banned joke items, so it has to be coming from somewhere." Fortunately it seemed all of the students were wise enough not to play pranks in his classroom, but he'd heard about the Weasley's joke paraphernalia from other teachers.
"I suppose the real question we have to ask is to what end," Albus said. "If they had attempted to hurt Rachel or Draco, that would be one thing. That might be reason enough for all of these steps to be taken. Why do all of this just to send a message that could have been sent in another potentially easier way?"
"To show that they can get to Draco. It could have just as easily been Draco with his throat slit in that bed. And if they can get to Draco, they can get to Rachel." He was going to ask Rachel again to move into his quarters.
"If they can, why haven't they? What are they waiting for? What do you expect they will do with Rachel when they have her? They can't kill her, Voldemort will want to do that himself."
Severus growled, partially in frustration and partially at the images this conversation was painting in his mind. "I don't know, Albus, which is why I have come to you."
"Then the question we must ask ourselves is this: is this a real threat to Rachel and Draco, or are they just trying to scare them?" Albus asked, attempting to steeple his fingers, but instead encountering his dead hand.
Severus stared at Albus' dead and blackened hand. None of them were invulnerable. "I think we must act as if this is a real threat, regardless of their intentions."
"You've already improved security on Draco's dormitory?"
"Yes, now only the four students who live there can enter, presuming no one here is strong enough to break through my wards. I will be alerted if those wards are broken, same as on Rachel's dorm," he said.
"And what other steps would you like to take?" Albus prodded.
The voice of his fear told him to take both Rachel and Draco and flee Hogwarts before they were both killed. "Would you be willing to grant Draco the same protection that you've granted Rachel? In case he is attacked within the school?"
Albus nodded without hesitating. "Give me a day or two to make the pendant, I'm afraid with my hand as it is, I don't quite have as subtle control of my wand as I once had. I am also not unaware of the debt we owe Draco. He would not be in danger now if he had not acted to save Rachel."
"Thank you," Severus said, trying not to show his relief. "I will think on what else we can do to protect them. Rachel had a curious idea the other day that perhaps Black or Lupin could do something with."
"And what's that?"
"She asked if there was an object or a spell that would keep something or someone from being apparated. Obviously she fears leaving the wards where she might be forcibly apparated again," he said.
Albus looked thoughtful. "Ideally it would prevent the use of portkeys also. Or possibly two separate ones, so you could choose. How that would be achieved…"
Severus watched for a long moment, knowing that Albus' formidable brain was at work.
"I will think on it. I will ask Sirius and Remus to think on it as well. I can see why Rachel would wish for such a thing. I'm certain many people in the Ministry and the Wizengamot wouldn't mind something that protected them from receiving portkeys in the post as well," Albus said, almost absently.
"If you happen to think of any suggestions as to figuring out who is behind those threats, I am open to them," Severus said as he prepared to leave.
"Of course. It will be on my mind. Anything else I should know?"
Severus shook his head slightly. "No. I will leave you to your day." He flooed back to his office and eyed his desk. He had been busy this weekend interviewing students and as such had a large pile of homework to grade. Sometimes he wished he could use the House Elves as teaching assistants, and while all of the Hogwarts House Elves could write and read, most of them wouldn't know the first thing about brewing potions.
He settled back at his desk and took the pile of what he thought was likely to be the least offensive of the essays and tried to direct his mind to his work. Until he had a new idea for how to find the culprit, he had done everything within his power.
On Monday Rachel received another note from Professor Dumbledore, this time delivered by Astoria.
"Thanks," Rachel told her, accepting the small scroll after lunch.
"What are we doing in the DA tomorrow?" Astoria asked.
"Combat disrupting spells," she said. They had moved that lesson up in the curriculum to give students more chances to get used to using those spells.
"Oh, good. I'm pretty good at those. I'll see you around," Astoria said before returning to where Sylvia was waiting for her.
"What does it say?" Theo asked, moving closer to Rachel.
Rachel broke the wax seal, after taking a moment to notice it was Professor Dumbleore's personal seal - a phoenix with its wings spread - instead of the more familiar Hogwarts seal. "Meeting with him tonight at seven to continue my lessons," she summarized before tucking the note away.
"Is what he's teaching you helpful?" Millie asked as they moved to join the rest of their study group by the Great Hall doors.
"He seems to think so. I'm sure I'll understand when I've had more lessons." She knew Professor Dumbledore wouldn't be showing her these memories if he didn't have a point.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of studying and homework. They were still keeping up with their classes, but Rachel had the feeling that if they let up, even for a day, they were going to fall hopelessly behind. Given the tense expressions she saw all around the study room, even from Ginny and Luna as they studied for their OWLs, she thought the others felt the same way.
At five minutes to seven, Rachel got to her feet and put everything away in her bag. "Same as last time, if it's before eight thirty, I'll come back here. If not, I'll meet you in the common room."
"I'll walk with you," Neville said.
"Me too, I need a break," Ginny said as she stood and stretched.
They walked quietly through the third floor corridor, down the staircase, and turned into the corridor that led to the Headmaster's office.
"Rachel, is he telling you about the war?" Neville asked.
"Not exactly. It's more like the history of the war, how it came to be, in a roundabout way," she said, feeling that she could tell them that much.
"If you didn't want to do these lessons, if you wanted to stop them or if it became too much, could you?" Ginny asked, looking concerned.
Rachel frowned as she thought about it. She got the feeling that not many people could say 'no' to Professor Dumbledore. "If I needed the lessons to stop, I could tell Severus, and he would help." She would try to avoid putting Severus in that position though.
"That's good. I think it's a really good thing that Professor Snape is protecting you. I can't imagine many people who would cross him," Neville said.
"Not and live to tell the tale, at least," Ginny said, her expression caught between worried and amused.
"He's pretty formidable. I can't imagine dueling him for real. I've never succeeded in disarming him. I barely ever manage to escape him when we do escape challenges." That was something she needed to work on again. She could take Severus up to the Room of Requirement and they could practice there. Once she wasn't shaking at the end of the day. Once the idea of someone pointing a wand at her for real didn't send her heart racing.
Neville shook his head. "Can you imagine Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape in a duel?"
"I'm not even sure who would win. Professor McGonagall has a lot more experience, but Professor Snape seems like he's really powerful. I've seen him do wandless magic in the classroom. Just simple things, but still," Ginny said.
Rachel privately thought Severus would win, but she could admit that she was probably biased. They reached the gargoyle that guarded Professor Dumbledore's office. "Canary cream," she told the gargoyle.
"Hey, that's one of Fred and George's inventions!" Ginny exclaimed.
"I guess Professor Dumbledore is a fan," Neville said.
"It seems like the sort of thing he'd like," Rachel said. He did seem to enjoy the pranks in the school that were relatively harmless. "I'll see you both later."
"Good luck," Ginny said.
Rachel nodded and then stepped on the moving staircase, wondering what Professor Dumbledore was going to show her today. Hopefully nothing as sad and horrible as last time.
She found the doors to Professor Dumbledore's office open and peered inside. Fawkes was asleep on his perch, Professor Dumbledore was at his desk, his pensieve was already out and waiting, and the portraits on the wall behind Professor Dumbledore were sleeping.
"Rachel, come in please," Professor Dumbledore said.
She entered, turning as the doors closed themselves behind her.
"Just so we have privacy," he said. "The things we are discussing are known to very few. I would be surprised if there was anyone other than Voldemort himself who had the full story. I heard what happened on Friday. How are you faring?"
"Fine, sir," she said as she took a seat in front of Professor Dumbledore's desk. She had rebuffed Severus' efforts to get her to live in his quarters, but she wasn't sure how much longer he was going to let her have a choice about it. "Severus doesn't know who is responsible, which is a little concerning."
"It is a mystery, one we are endeavoring to solve. In the meantime, is there anything that we can provide that will help you to feel more safe within Hogwarts? I know Severus has offered you an auror guard, which is still an option if you'd like."
Rachel shook her head. "I don't think we're at that point yet. If they were willing to attack us directly, they'd have done it. The aurors have more important things to do than following me around."
"Perhaps, but you are aware that it is essential that you are safeguarded, correct?" he asked, watching her closely.
"I'm aware, but Severus says that it would be almost impossible for them to take me from the school, which is the important part. I can handle myself against other students, and I'm pretty much never alone. Millie and I even take our wands into the showers and we shower at the same time." She felt herself blush a little at discussing showering with the Headmaster.
"Regrettable in the necessity, but I am glad you are taking every practical precaution. If something occurs to you that will help you feel safer, please tell me or Severus and we will make arrangements," Professor Dumbledore said, nodding once. "Now, let's begin. Today we will be taking a trip into my own memory, but first, a smaller memory I collected. Last we left off, Merope was in London, heavily pregnant and alone. Desperate, she sold off her last possession, the golden locket we saw her wearing in the memory I showed you last time. This is the memory of Caractacus Burke, one of the founders of the shop Borgin and Burkes in Knockturn Alley."
Professor Dumbledore swirled the pensieve and a man about three inches high appeared.
Rachel watched as the man described swindling Merope, paying only ten Galleons for a priceless heirloom. "Was it really Salazar Slytherin's locket?" she asked when the memory had finished.
"Burke seemed to believe it was and it seems to match the locket Salazar Slytherin was wearing in one of the founder's portraits that is in Hogwarts. We'll get a closer look at the locket in another memory," Professor Dumbledore said. He used his wand to remove that memory into a vial and then poured another memory in. "This memory is of the first time I met Tom Marvolo Riddle. I hope it will be quite illuminating. After you."
Rachel stood and entered the memory. She looked around in awe. It was like time traveling. There were horse drawn carriages instead of cars, the roads were made of paving stones, and everyone's clothes were like out of an old movie.
"There I am," Professor Dumbledore said after appearing beside her.
Rachel struggled to hide her smile as she spotted young Professor Dumbledore. He had a long auburn beard and was wearing a bright plum suit with a flaring cut.
"Fashion was what it was. Sometimes I do enjoy muggle clothing," Professor Dumbledore confided as they followed the young Professor Dumbledore down the street.
"What year is it, sir?" Rachel asked.
"The summer of 1938. I had been sent to deliver Hogwarts letters to muggleborn students. I was the Transfiguration professor and Deputy Headmaster at the time," he said.
Rachel watched the memory unfold. The orphanage seemed to be a grim place. It was strange to see the Dark Lord at eleven years old. It was clear he was already powerful in magic, and a little bit wild in his emotions. She'd never imagined someone demanding something of Professor Dumbledore before. The memory ended and Rachel stepped away from the pensieve.
"He was brave. I couldn't have gone stopping in Diagon Alley alone at eleven," she said as she sat back down.
"That is one way to look at it, and it's also an important characteristic of Voldemort to understand. He is fiercely independent. Many Death Eaters claimed to have been a confidant to Voldemort, but in truth, Voldemort keeps his own confidences. I sincerely doubt Voldemort has ever had a friend. There may have been people who believed themselves to be his friends, especially while he was young, but Voldemort never would have considered them his equals," Professor Dumbledore said.
She frowned as she pondered what she was about to ask. Finally she decided that it was important. And she wanted to know. "Was he being abused at the orphanage?"
"I never saw evidence of any such thing and neither did any of the professors. While I was there, the children looked clothed, fed, and cared for, though undoubtedly they lacked true familial care," he said, his gaze settling on Rachel.
Rachel knew how little it meant to appear clothed and fed. She had appeared clothed and fed and it seemed like her primary school teachers had never suspected a thing. Or at least, if they had, they hadn't done anything about it. If someone showed up with visible bruises, that just meant whoever was hurting them wasn't smart enough to hide what they were doing.
"There is another thing I want to draw your attention to, which is Voldemort's habit of keeping souvenirs of his crimes. He kept toys from the children he terrorized and tucked them away somewhere safe, where he could revisit them," Professor Dumbledore said after a long moment of silence.
"Do you know what he did to those children in the cave?" she asked.
"I don't know, but I assume he terrified them with some of the rudimentary magic he had learned. Voldemort was a quick learner at Hogwarts, he already had impressive control over his magic when he arrived. All of the professors were very impressed with him. I will note that Voldemort was wary around me. He never tried to charm me like he did the others. He was a model student and yet he seemed to understand that I had seen a side of him that he wished to conceal from people," he explained.
"Why do you think the Dark Lord does the things that he does? Why do you think it doesn't bother him to hurt people or murder them?" she asked.
"I suppose, in a way, that is one of the questions we are answering with these memories. I have never known Voldemort to show remorse or regret. Just as he doesn't have friends, the death of others does not seem to affect him, though he fears it greatly for himself."
"I've never felt him feel afraid. Or happy."
"What have you felt him feel?" he asked, leaning forward slightly.
"Anger and rage are pretty common. Intent, maybe. Concentrated. The feeling of direction with a plan. Occasionally he is satisfied, but that's pretty rare. That's probably the only positive emotion I've felt from him," she listed.
"If I were to ask what Voldemort is feeling right now, could you tell me?"
Rachel closed her eyes and reached out, searching for an emotion that wasn't hers. "Mildly annoyed. Something isn't going right, but he's not blaming anyone yet."
"Remarkable." Professor Dumbledore sat back in his chair.
"There's no way to block this, is there? There's no way to remove the connection?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
"Not that I have found. I have asked many scholars in mind magic, but none have heard of a connection beneath someone's occlumency shields nor did they have suggestions as to what to do about it. I am sorry, but I will keep looking," he said.
Rachel nodded. She supposed that came with no one else having survived the Killing Curse before.
"If you do not have any questions, I will let you resume your evening," Professor Dumbledore said.
Rachel stood. "Thank you, sir."
"No, thank you. What we are doing is important. I am grateful you are putting your full attention to it," he said.
"I will try," she told him, even though she knew that she wanted to think about this as little as possible. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he said, his eyes meeting hers briefly before he returned to gazing at his pensieve.
Rachel left Professor Dumbledore's office with her mind in a swirl. She didn't want to feel sympathy for the Dark Lord. And yet she wondered if perhaps his childhood had been just as bad as hers had been. No one deserved that. Not even the Dark Lord.
Rachel wasn't wearing her Quidditch uniform and it was driving her slightly mad. This was her team. She wanted to be out there with them. She'd loaned Draco her Quidditch Captain badge, just for the game, and that had stung even more.
It wasn't fair.
She almost wanted to laugh at herself. She hadn't spent her childhood complaining about how it wasn't fair. A good smack had taught her never to suggest that she should have what her cousin had. She was bad. Dudley was good. End of story.
And now she was standing with her team and whining that life wasn't fair just because she couldn't play in a Quidditch match. She needed to grow up. She'd be seventeen in less than a year's time. And she knew very well that life wasn't fair. That's just the way things were.
Scarlett and Viola were the last out of the locker rooms and Rachel joined her team. "First game of the season. I'm not too worried about their Chasers, they lost two of their Chasers and their captain last year. Timothy, the rest of the team should keep their Chasers away from you, but do what you can. Grant is pretty good in the goal, but I know you can get past him. Harper and Martin, help set Draco up for runs on the goal. Scarlett and Stephen, try to keep the heat off the Chasers, but guard Viola. You've got this, I know you can do it."
This got solemn nods from everyone.
"Just like we practiced. We're a good team. Go out there and show Ravenclaw what we're made of," she told them.
"We've got this," Scarlett said firmly.
"We do. You all know what to do," Draco agreed, looking at each of the team members. "Let's go."
The team started to move away but Viola hung back. "Cho is pretty good."
"She is. Speed is her main asset. She is quick but she seems to have less luck with spotting the Snitch. Stay out of everyone else's way and search for the Snitch. If they are bothering you with Bludgers, get Scarlett's attention and she'll guard you," Rachel instructed. "It's okay to be nervous. I was super nervous my first time."
Viola nodded. "I'll be alright. And I'll catch the Snitch."
Rachel watched as Viola hurried away to catch up with the team.
"They'll be alright, let's go get up in the stands," Millie said, putting her hand on Rachel's shoulder. "Theo's saving us a spot at the top."
Rachel braced herself for entering the stadium, but the stairs were mostly empty at this point. She wondered if what had happened at the start of the summer had actually made her less claustrophobic. Or maybe today was just an okay day. She wasn't sure. Sometimes it was bad and sometimes it wasn't.
They found Theo at the top of the stands. By this point the players were on the field.
"I can't believe I'm watching my own team play." This was as close as she'd allow herself to get to complaining.
Theo looked at her. "You're getting better aren't you? You told us you were able to stay on your broom longer."
"I am. It's just much slower than I would like. When I first started taking this potion, I made some pretty big improvements in about two weeks. Now I'm just kind of improving naturally I suppose." She only had just about a week left of the potion, and for her stomach's sake at least, it would be a relief to stop taking it.
"You made it up seven full flights of stairs the other day, even though you were winded at the top," Millie pointed out.
Rachel nodded, her attention now on the pitch as Madam Hooch blew the whistle. "Ravenclaw's got a third and fourth year to replace their Chasers. They've also got three seventh years on their team this year, Cho, Grant, and Jason." The Quaffle was in Harper's hands and he passed to Martin as soon as Chaser and team captain Jasmine Bradley came up on him. Martin swerved away from a Bludger and passed to Draco, who scored.
"That's ten to Slytherin, somewhat unsurprisingly," the commentator said.
Rachel peered at the staff box. "Is Zacharias Smith commentating?"
"I'm not sure I know him," Millie said.
"He's one of Hufflepuff's new Chasers. So he can't be the commentator at all of the games," she said with a frown. She went back to watching the game, keeping a close eye on Viola. Viola seemed to be doing a standard search pattern, which was fine, but Rachel still worried. She didn't expect Viola to catch the Snitch, not against Cho, but she hoped that she wouldn't get hurt in the process.
After a little longer, Rachel mentally shut out the commentator entirely as he was making comments about who had been chosen for the teams and why a second year was playing in the Slytherin Seeker's position. Fortunately he didn't speculate too closely about that.
The Slytherin Chasers were doing an excellent job of dominating the field. The Quaffle only made it down to Timothy three times and he blocked two of them.
Just when Rachel was hoping they might be able to win the game regardless of who caught the Snitch, Cho went into a dive. Viola shot after her, but it was too late. A quick swerve later and Cho had the Snitch.
"That's the game to Ravenclaw, with a very nice catch by a very attractive Cho Chang, who might now be single," Zacharias Smith announced.
There was the muffled sound of Professor McGonagall reprimanding him.
"Well, they played a good game at least. Your Chasers are in good shape," Theo said.
Rachel checked her watch. They'd been in the air for an hour and twenty minutes. The longest she'd made it so far in practice was an hour. But maybe she would have seen the Snitch earlier in the game. There was no way to tell. "I've got to go talk with Viola."
"A cheering up speech, rather than a critical speech?" Millie asked.
"Yeah, I don't blame her, but I suspect she's going to be having a hard time right now," Rachel said, eyeing where the students were pouring out of the stands. It would have to wait, she couldn't go into that. Hopefully Viola would still be in the locker rooms. If not, Rachel would have to track her down.
They waited and finally the stands cleared out enough that they could leave and Rachel led the way to the Slytherin locker rooms.
Draco was standing outside, already changed. He thrust the silver captain's badge into her hand. "Is there anything we can do that will help you be able to play the next game?" he asked quietly.
"I don't think so. I think it's just a matter of building endurance again and I'm getting some of that just from climbing the stairs in Hogwarts," she told him.
"Would flying more often help? We could fly on another day of the week, we wouldn't even need to reserve the pitch for that," he said.
She definitely didn't have time to fit another hour of flying into her schedule at the moment. "I don't think so. I think this is something that is going to have to come with time. Is Viola still in the locker room?"
"I think so. You're going to talk with her?"
She nodded.
"Better you than me," he said.
"I'll take care of it. The Chasers did very well today. You're doing good with them," she said, figuring he needed that assurance right now.
"Thanks," he said. "We've got plenty to work on. The other teams' Chasers aren't going to fold like that."
"We have time to work on it," she said. She left him with Millie and Theo and went into the girls locker room. Both Scarlett and Viola were inside. Viola looked miserable sitting on the bench.
"I'm sorry," Viola said as soon as Rachel entered.
Rachel let the door fall closed behind her. "You have nothing to apologize for. You played your best. You did everything you could. Sometimes being a Seeker is just luck. You were covering the field well. We'll work on more Seeking strategies over the next few months."
"That's what I've been trying to tell her. About luck, I mean," Scarlett said.
"You've never lost," Viola said. "I've heard the other kids talking about it. You've never lost since you started playing, and you were a second year."
Rachel sat next to Viola and shrugged. "I've had some very close calls. I know you saw what happened during the match against Ravenclaw last year."
"Yeah, you nearly killed yourself and a couple of Gryffindors to go along with it," Scarlett said.
She wouldn't have put it like that, but she didn't correct Scarlett. "There have been plenty of times when I've been neck and neck with another Seeker and the Snitch just happened to turn my way. Some of it is luck. And I played Chaser during my fourth year, Viktor was Seeker and he won those games."
Viola's eyes lit up. "Viktor Krum. I can't believe you played with him. He's amazing. And he's so handsome. I saw him at the World Cup two years ago and I kept my Omnioculars on him the entire time."
Rachel tried very very hard not to smile. "Viktor is a good guy. He taught me some of the things that I'll be teaching to you."
"Really?" Viola asked eagerly. "Like what?"
"Some of the dives, for one. The maneuver you saw me do last year when my broom was spinning out of control is another, and I definitely want you to train with that. You'll get there. You were playing against a seventh year who has nearly beat me numerous times. It's unreasonable for you to expect that you'd beat a seventh year in your first game. We'll train and you'll get better. And some of it is just luck," she reiterated.
Viola's shoulders straightened. "I want to train. I want to get better."
"And we will. In fact, we have a practice tomorrow. So get some rest today and we'll come at it tomorrow fresh," she said, gently patting Viola's knee.
"Alright." Viola stood up. "I'll get better. Someday I will be better than even you. Someday I will play against Viktor Krum in the World Cup. And I'll win too!"
"There you go," Rachel said, thinking that Viola's dreams were a little lofty, but she seemed in better spirits.
"I'll see you tomorrow and we'll train," Viola said on her way out the door.
"That was kind of you," Scarlett said when they were alone.
Rachel shrugged again. "I figured she must be feeling pretty bad. I know I would have been."
"Still, not all team captains are nice enough to do that. I'm glad you are. Not that I expected anything less. Do you need someone to walk you back to the castle?" Scarlett asked.
"No, my friends should be waiting outside, but you can walk back with us if you want," Rachel offered.
Scarlett shook her head. "I'm going to go take a walk. I want to clear my head before I study again. These damn OWLs. They're all the professors talk about."
"I know. But the exams aren't as bad as they seem. As long as you study for them, you'll do fine. And you and Stephen were good out there today. You did an excellent job at keeping the field clear for the Chasers." She wasn't sure if Scarlett needed reassuring, Scarlett never seemed to, but Rachel figured she should still try.
"Stephen and I make a pretty good pair. He asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him next weekend, but I told him I'd think about it. What do you think I should do?" Scarlett asked.
"Like, on a date?" Rachel asked, knowing this was way out of her area of expertise.
"I'm not sure, which is why I don't know what to tell him. I don't want to date him, but I'm not against spending the day with him either. I don't want to lead him on, but I don't want to hurt his feelings either," she explained.
"Maybe tell him that you aren't ready to date right now, but if he wants to go as friends, that you're open to that?" Rachel guessed.
"But I want to go out with Felix," Scarlett said. "So I'm definitely ready to date. Just not Stephen."
"The new Hufflepuff Seeker?"
Scarlett nodded. "Haven't you looked at him?"
Rachel closed her mouth to keep it from making funny shapes as she searched for the right thing to say. "I can't say that I've looked at him, exactly. But, I think you need to clarify with Stephen that you're open to going to Hogsmeade with him as a friend and not as a date, if you don't want to date him. And maybe hope for the best?" Somehow this advice was much harder than the advice she'd given Viola.
"I guess so. Hopefully he just meant as friends. And if I do go with him, hopefully Felix understands that it is just as friends. I suppose I should ask Felix out. Maybe I'll do that," Scarlett said.
"That seems reasonable. I've got to go, my friends are waiting for me," Rachel said, wanting to leave before Scarlett asked her about how to ask out Felix.
"Alright, I'll see you around," Scarlett said.
Rachel left the locker room and found Draco waiting with Millie and Theo.
"We were just talking, Draco's going to join us for a session of Ancient Runes before lunch and then potions group after lunch," Theo said.
"Sounds good," Rachel said, pleased that Draco was interested in joining them. And studying was much better than talking about dating and boys. At the very least, she knew much more about studying than she did about dating and boys. Why couldn't Scarlett have asked her for Potions advice?
"Viola looked alright when she popped out of the locker room. At the very least, she wasn't crying," Draco said as they began to walk back to the castle.
"I think she'll be alright." Rachel hoped so at least.
It was Halloween night. Rachel had once again avoided the feast, preferring to have a quiet meal with her friends in their study room. They had spent an hour with their books closed, just chatting and relaxing as they ate. It was good to take a break and at the same time it wasn't. Whenever she stopped focusing she felt a weird feeling creeping over her.
She was almost sure the feeling wasn't from the Dark Lord. If she tried, she could usually reach out and check what he was feeling. Sometimes it was the barest whisper of a feeling. Those were usually the more neutral feelings. The stronger feelings she could feel without even trying. But none of them were the weirdness she felt.
The possibility that something was wrong with her worried her, but she didn't know how to explain it to Torey or Severus in order to ask. She just felt wrong. She didn't think it was the dissociation that she'd talked about with Torey, although that still happened occasionally. It was just the steadily growing feeling that something wasn't right with her, deep inside.
"I'm going to go to our dorm," she told Millie and Theo. She'd been staring at her Potions book for at least thirty minutes now without seeing it. The common room was noisy anyway, everyone was excited from the feast and looking forward to the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend.
"Goodnight," Theo told her.
"I'll be there in about twenty or thirty minutes," Millie said.
Rachel nodded. She wasn't worried. Everyone she was worried about was here in the common room. "Goodnight."
Midnight meowed and trotted up to Rachel as soon as Rachel was in the door.
"Hold on a second and I'll pet you," Rachel promised her.
Midnight meowed again in response and jumped up onto Rachel's bed to wait.
Rachel shrugged out of her robes and hung them back in her wardrobe, making sure to retrieve her wand from them, and then unpacked and then repacked her bag with what she'd need for tomorrow. She took off her shoes and set them next to the foot of her bed. Finally she pulled out her journal and a quill from her bedside table and sat down on her bed, immediately receiving a lap full of cat.
"There you are," Rachel said, stroking Midnight's back. "I'm sorry you're alone all day, but it's not safe out there."
Midnight was purring as she pressed her face against Rachel.
After a few minutes Midnight settled into Rachel's lap and Rachel picked up her journal and quill and found a blank page. Usually she wrote a letter to her parents on Halloween mornings, but she had slept in until nearly seven forty five this morning.
'Dear mom and dad,
I hope you both are well.'
Rachel stopped and stared down at the page. Her handwriting still looked unfamiliar to her, even after four months of using the charmed quill. It was strange to think that she'd never see her own handwriting again.
'I know you're watching over me, but I hope you don't see everything. You probably already know what happened in June, so all you really need to know about that is that I'm doing better now.'
She paused again, searching for something positive to say. She didn't want to write about last year. They already knew all of that and she didn't have anything to say about it really. It had happened and that's all there was to say.
'I am doing alright. I'm very busy. I'm part of the Hogwarts team for the Wizarding Schools Potions Championship this year, along with Hermione, Theo, and Draco. I'm still Quidditch Captain and I'm training a Seeker. NEWT classes are hard, but they are at least interesting.'
While staring down at the page the words blurred together. She could feel herself breathing. She could feel the weight of the cat on her legs. She could feel the quill between her fingers.
Why was this so hard?
Barely aware of herself, Rachel began to write again.
'I wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you. People tell me about you, but it's not the same as knowing you. I picture you, imagining you from your photos, and try to imagine what you might say to me, but I really don't know. I don't know you and I want that more than almost anything.'
Rachel exhaled and it was painful. Both her chest and her throat hurt.
'I just want to go home. And I want you to be there as well as Severus. I want to hug you. I want to feel your arms around me. Sometimes I wish that none of this had ever happened. That the Dark Lord had never shown up, and you took me and we fled England. That we lived together somewhere else, just the three of us. I'm surrounded by people who care about me, but sometimes I just feel so alone.'
She took another breath and closed her eyes. How stupid was she? Blubbering over a past she couldn't change. Whining over things she could never have. It had been fifteen years since her parents had died and she knew more about them now than she ever had. What was wrong with her?
Rachel tore the page out of her journal, took her wand, and silently vanished it. Picking up her quill, she started again.
'Dear mom and dad,
I hope you both are well. I love you and I miss you.
Severus and I are doing fine. We're busy, as always. NEWT studying is hard, but the classes are interesting. I saw Sirius and Remus some this summer, they seem alright as well.
I'll probably be joining you soon, in a couple of years at the latest, so that's something to look forward to. I can't wait to get to know you. Don't worry about me. Everything is the way it's supposed to be.
With love, your daughter, Rachel'
She let the ink dry and then closed her journal and put it back into the drawer of her bedside table. Everything was fine.
She paused again. Everything was not fine. She was feeling anticipation and it wasn't hers.
Something was going to happen tonight and it definitely wasn't going to be good.
Gently shifting Midnight off of her lap, Rachel got back to her feet and put her shoes back on.
She got the things she needed out of her wardrobe, including a nightgown and the potion vials she needed. There were only two more nights of the modified Nerve Tonic left to take. That probably meant she was about as healed as she was going to get.
With everything tucked into her bag, Rachel left the dorm room and went back out into the common room. She went to where Millie and Theo were still sitting. "I'm going to spend the night in Severus' quarters."
"Did something happen?" Millie asked, looking alarmed.
Rachel shook her head. "It just seems like a good night for me to stay there."
"We'll walk you down to his office," Theo said, closing his Potions book.
"I'm coming too," Millie said, getting to her feet.
They left the common room without being stopped by the prefects and went further down the hall.
"Wait a minute," Theo said once they were past Curbin's portrait. He quickly cast a privacy ward around them. "What's going on?"
Rachel sighed. "The Dark Lord is feeling anticipation and I think there's a good chance there are going to be attacks tonight. I think there's also a good chance I'm going to wind up having a vision and I'd rather not wake everyone in the dorm room screaming at two in the morning."
Millie looked worried. "You can feel what he's feeling, right now?"
Rachel nodded.
"Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore still can't do anything about that or about the visions?" Theo asked.
"No, not yet and it doesn't seem likely. This seems to be something related to surviving the Killing Curse and no one else has done that before." At least, her assumption was that it was because of the Killing Curse. It seemed to have somehow tied them together.
Theo frowned and rubbed at his chin. "Well, I suppose the best thing is for you to be near Professor Snape tonight in case there is something he can do to help while it's happening."
"I'll tell Pansy and Daphne you didn't feel well and that you went to Professor Snape," Millie said.
"Thanks," Rachel said.
Theo dismissed the privacy ward and they continued down the dungeon corridor.
"Alright, I'll see you both for breakfast tomorrow," Rachel told them.
"Have as good of a night as possible," Millie said. "I hope it's not too bad."
"Do whatever you need to do," Theo said, nodding slightly.
"Thanks," she told them again before opening Severus' office door and letting herself in.
She found Severus standing with his wand raised and on his way toward his office when she stepped through the wall and into his quarters. "What happened?" he asked immediately.
"The Dark Lord is feeling pretty strong anticipation. I think there are going to be attacks tonight. I think it's likely I'm going to have a vision," she explained.
Severus nodded. "In the first war, attacks were common on Halloween night. The Order, the aurors, and the MLE patrol are standing by. May I set a charm on your door so I can hear when you start to scream, that way you don't have to try to come to me after a vision?"
"That's probably a good idea, but just for tonight," she agreed.
"Just for tonight. Thank you for coming here. I think that was a wise decision on your part."
Rachel shrugged. "I just didn't want to wake everyone up. I'm going to head to bed. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he said.
Ten minutes later Rachel was curled up in her bed, holding her pillow bunny. She had left this one in her room in Severus' quarters so that she had something to hold onto on the nights she wound up in his quarters after a vision.
It was about nine thirty, which meant she should at least be able to sleep three hours before she had a vision. Who knew if she'd want to sleep afterward. She closed her eyes, pushed the feeling of anticipation away as best she could, and slowly went to sleep.
Severus jolted awake at the sound of Rachel screaming and quickly got out of bed. It appeared as though she was correct about having a vision tonight. While it was good that she had been able to anticipate it, he wished that they'd been able to stop the visions rather than get Rachel to the point where she could accommodate them.
He grabbed his wand, the vial of Pain Relieving potion that he'd set out earlier, and the jar of Healing Salve. On his way out, he glanced at the clock. It was just after midnight, which fit with the Dark Lord's sense of theater and drama. Midnight on Halloween. From what he could tell, it had been the same on the night that Lily and James had died.
Inside Rachel's room he lit the lamp with a jab of his wand and then sat down on the edge of her bed and set the potions on his lap. "Wake up, Rachel, you can do it," he told her, taking her upper arm and shaking her slightly. He knew it was useless. She never seemed to wake until the vision was finished.
She was screaming, a high pitched shrill shriek that filled the room, and she was shifting her body like she was trying to get away from something. She had told him that the visions themselves weren't painful, just the headache afterward, but he wasn't at all sure she wasn't feeling pain during the vision but the vision itself didn't allow her to remember it. It seemed to him as though she was in pain.
He cast the standard diagnostic charm and watched for a moment. Her heart rate and blood pressure were both elevated, which to him suggested she was in pain. Then again, it could simply be an effect of the vision itself. They had nothing to compare it with.
"You're okay, you'll wake up," he told her, hating how useless he felt. It felt like half the time he spent parenting Rachel had been spent watching her suffer while he tried to find something that would help.
Finally she woke with a gasp and sat up, her hands immediately going to her head.
"I've got you. Are you ready for a Pain Relieving potion?" he asked, gently patting her upper arm.
She whimpered. "Yes."
He opened the vial for her and pressed it into her hand. She drank it quickly and he took the vial back.
"I'm going to look at your scar, can you move your hand?" he asked.
It took her a moment, but she moved her left hand away from her forehead. Her scar was inflamed as it usually was after a vision and there was a trickle of blood coming from it. Severus applied the Healing Salve. He still hadn't figured out something better to use on these occasions.
"Are you dizzy? Do you feel nauseated?" He still remembered finding Rachel unable to stand or walk after a vision last spring.
"No," she said, her hands still on her face. It became clear that she was crying.
Severus had rarely seen Rachel cry in his presence. He hesitated and then carefully placed his arms around her shoulders and back, uncertain if a hug was welcome or if it would make her panic.
She sniffled and leaned closer to him, her shoulders hitching slightly as she cried.
"Is this a situation where the Order can do something?" he asked, gently patting her back.
Rachel shook her head against him. "No. They're already dead. I don't know where they are. I didn't recognize them."
Severus had suspected as much, but he had needed to ask.
They sat in near silence, Severus holding her while she quietly cried. Whatever she had seen had obviously shaken her. He hadn't seen her react this way to a vision before, not even when Sturgis had been murdered.
"There were children," she finally said.
Severus tightened his grip, frustrated, angry, and helpless all over again. They needed a way to stop these visions, but if Albus couldn't do it, he had no idea of who could.
"There were two children. They were too young for Hogwarts. And their parents. And there were two Death Eaters there. And they tortured them. And they couldn't move afterward. And then the Dark Lord set their house on fire, but it wasn't normal fire. It was like the fire ate the house."
"Fiendfyre," he said, feeling a flood of horror. If the Dark Lord had loosed Fiendfyre in a muggle neighborhood, there were going to be a lot of deaths. Fiendfyre could burn for hours and would consume anything in its path.
Rachel sat up straight and Severus let his hands fall away. "I don't understand why he's doing this. Most of magical Britain won't care that he's killing muggles. What does he have to gain by this?"
"Most of magical Britain will care that he's killing muggles, but for different reasons. Those who hate muggles won't care, but they are truly a small portion of the population. Those who don't care one way or another about muggles will worry that this endangers the Statute of Secrecy. And they will be afraid. Everyone remembers how the last war went. First they went after the muggles, then the muggleborns, and then half-bloods and purebloods that they deemed traitors or threats. What the Dark Lord gains is fear," Severus explained. "There are those who will support the Dark Lord to protect themselves, and the more afraid they are, the more likely they are to do so. Most of them will not become Death Eaters, but they'll supply the Dark Lord with money or political support or information."
She wiped at her eyes. "It's just going to keep getting worse, isn't it?"
He didn't know how to answer that. The war certainly would get worse.
"When am I supposed to kill him? How many people is he going to kill first before I get there? I'm sitting here learning useless things and he's killing people."
Severus sighed. "You will kill him when you have the best chance of doing so. Now is not the right time. But you are not responsible for what he does in the meantime. What you're learning right now is not useless. The better understanding you have of spellcasting, the more adaptable you will be. We will resume your Defense lessons when you feel ready."
Rachel sat with her shoulders slumped. She looked exhausted. "You'll teach me real Defense? How to attack instead of just getting to safety?"
"Yes. Just let me know when you want to start," he said, though he did not believe she was ready yet.
She nodded. "I'm going to lay down."
"Alright. Try to get more rest," he said, recognizing that he was being asked to leave. He gathered the empty potion vial and the jar of Healing Salve. He pulled her door shut behind him and went back into his own room, where he set aside what he was carrying and then changed into his teaching robes.
Back in the sitting room he tossed a handful of floo powder into the fireplace. "Headmaster's office. Albus, are you there?"
"I'm here, come through, Severus," Albus called.
Severus stepped into the fireplace and a moment later out into Albus' office. "There may be Fiendfyre loose in a muggle neighborhood, but Rachel didn't know where."
Albus looked up from the documents he had spread out on his desk. "We've had reports of other fires and murders, but not of Fiendfyre. Was she certain?"
"No, but she said it looked as though the fire ate the house," he said. "Two young children were tortured and killed there."
Albus looked pained for a moment and then drew his wand. A silvery copy of Fawkes appeared. "To Rufus Scrimgeour. We have reports that Fiendfyre may be burning in a muggle neighborhood. Location unknown." The silvery phoenix disappeared, apparently preferring to apparate rather than fly.
"How many confirmed attacks so far tonight?" Severus asked.
"Based on what has been reported thus far, sixteen attacks, most with multiple murders. The focus seems to be on muggleborns' muggle family members," Albus said.
A silver dog Patronus appeared. "Three muggles dead in Bristol. We forced the Death Eaters to apparate away, but they got through the wards before we got here. It was Godfrey Cox's parents and brother," came Black's voice.
Severus frowned. Godfrey Cox had been a Hufflepuff who had finished at Hogwarts three years ago.
"To Sirius Black. Acknowledged," Albus said after casting his Patronus again. He wrote down the information on another list.
"I presume you are coordinating with the MLE in the morning?"
"Yes, I think it's likely the Order will respond to some of the attacks that the MLE isn't aware of," Albus said. "How is Rachel?"
"Distressed. She feels guilty that these attacks are happening when she feels responsible for killing the Dark Lord," Severus said. "You have no more theories as to how to stop these visions?"
"None. I have searched far and wide, Severus, including contacting people I haven't spoken with in eighty years. This connection is an unprecedented phenomenon. Everyone suggests that occlumency is the solution, but no one has any theories as to how to dislodge a formed connection that is within someone's mental architecture."
Severus nodded. He had expected as much, but it was still frustrating. "Is there anything I can do to assist with this tonight?"
"Watch over Rachel. The rest of the Order will handle this," he said.
A silver Lynx stalked into the room. "Two dead muggles in Liverpool, identities unknown. One of the Death Eaters took a stunner, but the other one apparated both of them away before we could get to them," came Shacklebolt's voice.
Albus made a note on another piece of parchment. "To Kingsley Shacklebolt. Acknowledged."
Severus took the floo back to his quarters and sat down in his armchair. Part of him wanted to be out there helping. The greater part knew it was better for him to be here in the castle with Rachel. He was her protector and he could not afford to be killed or captured on the front lines in a meaningless battle. And yet, he wanted to draw his wand and point it at the nearest Death Eater, and it wasn't a desire to help that drove that, it was the desire for vengeance.
It was going to be a long night.
