Chapter Fourteen

Sorting Things Out

Not long after Jennifer opened the Potion Room for independent lab on Sunday, Severus came downstairs to see what she was up to. She had told him that she was going to do more research on the Sorting Hat, but he hadn't missed the fact she had left the Hat in the Study and wondered what she might be doing instead. Several students greeted him when he arrived, but Jennifer barely looked up from her desk as she fiddled with several different jewelry items as well as a hat that she only wore in a steady downpour.

"Experimenting with something new, are we?" Severus asked her.

"Actually, I'm attempting to work out something concerning the Sorting Hat," Jennifer explained, gesturing to all of the different items on the table. "I'm playing around with different sorting charms to get a better feel for them, and most of these are quite basic. Some of the more sophisticated ones are getting me a bit turned around. There are a lot of exceptions and considerations... a good example of that would be a locking mechanism, like the one Sirius added to the research library door."

"Oh, yes, I see what you mean. Perhaps I can assist by making you easier for you to sort it out?" Severus suggested.

"I'll forgive the pun if you are able to help," Jennifer informed him. "Perhaps you should have some coffee first," she suggested.

"Yes, a good idea," Severus said. He wasn't entirely surprised when she handed him her empty cup before he had a chance to make his way over to the breakfast cart. He brought the two cups back over and set them down, taking out a long rolled up parchment to aid her by making flow charts of the more complex devices, often having to stop and fix it over and over again when Jennifer kept adding exceptions she had forgotten to mention to him during the first pass.

"It's all rather like an Arithmantics formula, isn't it?' Jennifer realized as he finished one of the charts.

"Yes, of course, which is why Number Turners are so good at breaking this sort of thing," Severus agreed. "Sorting devices are quite methodical and formulaic... even that alphabetizing folder you borrowed from Professor Weasley is just as much a mathematical sequence as any of these other devices."

"And yet... could such a charm truly handle something as complicated as Sorting the human mind, and do so as quickly as the Sorting Hat does? Wouldn't it... I don't know... make more mistakes? And what about those times when a student is able to argue with its decision? Alicia mentioned that she was in such a panic when she was Sorted that the Hat had trouble deciding what house to put her in. And what about the children the year that Ciardoth were born? How did the Hat know they were different before he even had a chance to sit on their heads?" Jennifer asked, gazing at Severus as he pondered it himself. "I'm going to try to duplicate the Hat," Jennifer said, pulling over her hat. "I've already put a basic telepathy charm on this thing, and now I'm going to need to build a sorting formula based on the characteristics that the Hat uses to sort houses."

"You don't really think you're going to be able to duplicate the quirks of a thousand year old artifact, do you?" Severus warned. "After all, it's had centuries to absorb the presence of this school and its memories. I doubt you can get anything resembling a replica."

"Yes, I know, Severus, but perhaps I can use this to discover what sorts of spells they had on the Sorting Hat initially. After all, every artifact was a regular magic item first," Jennifer said. "If I can discover how they charmed it in the very beginning, it'll still give me a better understanding of it."

"Yes, a fair point," Severus replied.

He decided to give her some space to work it out, offering to check on the students in the lab while she worked out everything she needed to add to the charm to get her hat to respond. Even after she added the sorting charm, she wasn't quite sure on how to get the folds to mimic a face, let alone a voice. In the end, she cheated by using the Relative Perspective Charm so that it would behave like she'd expect it to behave.

As the students were dismissed for lunch and the two of them had some time on their own, they both stared warily at the faintly glowing hat.

"Here, let me try it first... you had better be ready for anything," Severus said.

"Does that mean you don't trust me?" Jennifer asked.

"I mean it's a complicated prototype that has to sit on my head, do be reasonable," Severus pointed out.

"Yes, alright. Sit down in my desk chair so I can get to your head, then," Jennifer replied, and Severus sat down. With her wand ready, Jennifer put the hat on his head and waited. For a long time, nothing happened. Jennifer frowned at it speculatively.

"Did you activate it?" Severus asked.

"I thought I did. Maybe it takes a moment for the telepathic charm to work," Jennifer suggested. "You do look right silly wearing my hat, though."

"Thank you. How about taking out a watch so that we can see how long it -"

"Hufflepuff!" the hat said in Jennifer's voice.

"Gets it utterly and completely wrong," Severus finished. "Would you please stop giggling?"

"Yes, you're right, I shouldn't be, I'm so sorry. Maybe it just needs a slight adjustment," Jennifer suggested, taking it off.

"The dustbin is slightly to the right..."

"Now, Severus," Jennifer grinned, but then studied it with a frown before altering the Sorting charm slightly. "There! Now let's try," she said, putting it on his head again.

"Slytherin!" the hat declared, much faster than the first time.

"There! That's better," Jennifer decided with a smile. But Severus was far from convinced, plucking the hat off his head and setting it on Jennifer's head.

"Slytherin!" it declared again. Jennifer looked up, frowning at the brim and wondering where she went wrong.

Severus, getting a hunch, put it on his own head again. "Gryffindor!" it declared, and he took it off and put it on her head over and over as it declared, "Ravenclaw!" "Slytherin!" "Hufflepuff!"

"Oh, no, it's complete random! I must have somehow broke the telepathic charm when I tried to fix the Sorting Charm," Jennifer realized.

"We might as well turn this over and use folded paper to choose houses for all the good it does," Severus said.

"Do give me some credit, Severus. It was only my first attempt. I'm sure if I get the two charms working together, it'll give a better reading," Jennifer said. "And perhaps it takes time to soak up enough memories that it can make better judgment calls. Janus did say that Gryffindor wore that hat exclusively and nearly all the time."

"Yes, perhaps," Severus said, but sounded more skeptical than before. "But what sort of charm are you going to add to get it to create a new rhyme every year?"

"I have absolutely no idea how it does that," Jennifer said flatly. "I can't think of any spell that does that... perhaps there's something in Ancient Magic that can?"

"No, what you're speaking of is something that can harness a person's creative thought, and other than paintings, I've never seen anything else that can," Severus replied. "Also, I'm not certain if the ghost paint used to accomplish that feat can be categorized as entirely Ancient Magic. It's true that Wild Magic is derived from life while Ancient only mimics it, but ghost paint is typically mixed with the blood of those it is painting, so there may be an element of Wild Magic to it."

"Well, I suppose I'll go to Whitebridge early on Tuesday to speak to Wind in case he has any ideas," Jennifer decided. "And then I'll find a time when I can talk to Pyther."

"That sounds like a reasonable plan," Severus agreed. He looked up when he saw movement by the open door as Quintin moved to try and knock on it. "Yes, Quintin?"

"Oh... sorry, I was just wondering if I could borrow the Sorting Hat for an hour or two while I'm working on my research," Quintin said. "Mum told me it had a memory charm on it, so I thought it might give me more hints on what happened to Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff after Hogwarts, and maybe he knows where Gryffindor might have died at so I can look that up as well."

"Yes, alright, but I might be able to find out something about those dates when Hermione and I head to the Archives later this week," Jennifer said.

"I also wanted to see how he was doing," Quintin admitted sheepishly. "I haven't spoken to him since I got Sorted, and I don't want him to think I was snubbing him or something..." Severus rolled his eyes at that.

"The Hat isn't down here, Quintin, because I was running and independent item experiment today. It's in the Study," Jennifer explained.

"And I don't want you traipsing around the entire castle with that Hat on your head, you are not five anymore," Severus interrupted. "You have enough extended privileges as it is. Use the door in your room to borrow it and don't take it out of the Guard Wing until you return it. And don't dally getting it back, either; if you make Serendipity howl because it's not there during bedtime, I will hold you personally responsible," he added for good measure.

"I'm certain I will be finished before that, " Quintin replied, turning around.

"And use the stairs like other students do and not the Doorlift," Severus added for good measure.

"But that wastes ten minutes and forty seconds going up the back stairs and an indeterminate amount of time up the main stairs! I haven't budgeted my time for that many extra minutes!" Quintin protested.

"Then perhaps you should adjust your schedule again," Severus said dangerously, not backing down. Jennifer hid a smile, attempting to regain her stern composure.

"Yes, sir," Quintin said glumly, slipping out the door. Jennifer chuckled softly the moment he was outside of it.

"So much like you..." Severus murmured.

"Don't you give me that. He didn't get that meticulous, perfectionist behavior from my side of the family..."

"Shall I remind you just how tied to the clock that your father is?" Severus immediately rebutted. Jennifer blinked.

"Yes, alright," Jennifer said with a grimace, but then brightened. "But he does like an organized work area!"

"Thank the stars for small favors," Severus replied, then suggested they turn their attention to lunch.


Quintin grabbed the Hat off the shelf, putting it on his head before he even got back to his bedroom.

"Good afternoon, Sir Quintin! Are we off for an old fashioned adventure today?" the Sorting Hat asked with interest.

"Well, maybe when we're done," Quintin said diplomatically. "Right now, I was wondering if you could help out with some research," he explained. As he cut through the nursery to his bedroom, Rasputin stuck his nose out from under the cot and decided to follow them.

"Research can also be an adventure! What are we researching?" the Hat asked as they stepped through the door and Quintin opened up the one leading out to the corridor. There was a rattle as Ebony left his cage.

"The teachers that were here at the founding of the school," Quintin replied. "I need to write a paper on it so that the new house can choose a house name."

"Oh, I see. So you want to decide whose philosophy your house most resembles, instead of picking a name out of a... you're not going to put folded papers in me, are you?"

"You were right the first time," Quintin assured him. "We want to pick someone who deserves to have a name house after them."

"Oh, good. I'm glad you are taking it seriously," the Hat said approvingly as Quintin opened the door to the common room. He waited for Rasputin to come in, but then frowned.

"Where's Ebony?" Quintin wondered.

"In the usual spot," the Hat assured him, so Quintin closed the door and went over to the reference area where several of his classmates greeted him.

"I thought you were doing research?" Oscar asked from where he and Pete sat at the end doing their homework.

"I am, that's why I brought the Sorting Hat," Quintin agreed. "I promised my parents to keep him in the Guard Wing while I'm borrowing him, so I have to do my research up here today."

"Alright. So what's so good about that Hat, other than helping us make history?" Pete asked.

"That's just it. The Hat knows all about the founding years, including all the missing years we have no records of during the Dark Ages. I'm sure he can help us a lot," Quintin explained, taking the Hat off his head and taking it to one of the circular tables, setting it in the center.

"Well, if he knows so much, then how come we just ask him everything we need to know instead doing all of this dumb research?" Pete suggested.

"One interview isn't enough. I have to have all sorts of different sources that back each other up," Quintin explained. "But I think the Hat can give us a head start."

"What do you need to know?" the Sorting Hat asked curiously.

"Well, we've been researching Bedivere O'Laren, but it's hard to get much out of him. He's more interested in talking about his friends," Quintin explained, getting a Dictation Quill going.

"Yes, that sounds about right," the Sorting Hat replied. "Beddie was a very humble wizard, you see, thanks in part to his somewhat controversial family. His mother was a witch who married above her station... worse... to an Irish lord, who not only held no magic himself but wasn't even aware she was magicborn, which was probably a blessing since she might have been wrongfully condemned as faerie folk," he explained. "As you can imagine, their children were frowned upon by both sides, and since Bedivere was the second son and had magic like his mother, they were all too glad when Gryffindor offered to make him his squire, taking him back to Hogwarts as the castle was nearing its completion. I think Beddie was all too aware that even at Hogwarts, there were whispers behind his back about his heritage."

"That's rather rude," Oscar commented.

"Putting it mildly, yes. But back then, there were still some quarters of the isles that would have had his mother and all the children put to death for charming her way into better circumstances. Putting up with the rumors was mild in comparison," the Hat explained. "After the Romans pulled out and the Saxon age began, it was a time of many fractured lands filled with different tribal kingdoms, not to mention a time filled with many invaders. Even discounting the invasions by Giants, as well as Fae creatures who were upset about deforestation caused by settlers and constant war, everyone from Vikings and Normans landed on these shores. All of the while, neighbors were fighting neighbors in across the isles; each small kingdom had its own set of laws, and not all lords were favorable to wizards."

"Does that mean some were friendly to wizards? Muggles back then who knew about magic?" Pete asked.

"Yes, with varying degrees of knowledge," the Sorting Hat replied. "And with various degrees of animosity towards them. There were many a time when one side brutally and persecuted the other... which is why Hengist, after graduating as one of Hufflepuff's first students, decided that he really didn't want to leave the sanctity of a place where only wizardkind lived and decided to found Hogsmeade, to both provide a safe home close to the school, and to help provide for it as well, so that they wouldn't have to rely solely on the local Muggle farmers. The school's business relationship with them was touch and go at the best of times, and at other times downright hostile, regardless of which side you were on. In fact, as I recall, Hengist himself had lost a family member or two to Muggles after their crops failed and the Muggles had decided that his family was to blame. In those days, a single look or gesture was often misinterpreted as a charm of misfortune."

"We talked about that in primary school," Quintin said. Jeremy and Pippa walked up and took a seat, Jeremy looking over at what the Dictation Quill was writing curiously. "That's why the Secrecy Act exists."

"Well, yes, but that wasn't signed until several hundred years later, as you may recall," the Sorting Hat said. "In the early years of Hogwarts, wizards were allowed to make our own decisions on whether they wanted to hide or not, and the vast majority of wizards did choose to hide," he explained. "Unfortunately, magic children can't always control their magic, and when that magic accidentally affected someone without magic, well... the situation tended to escalate quickly. That is part of the reason Hogwarts was founded in the first place, to give the children a safe place to go and learn how to control their magic without putting their families into dire circumstances."

"Did younger children go to Hogwarts as well?" Pippa asked with interest.

"For a while, yes, when it was deemed by their parents they weren't safe elsewhere," the Sorting Hat said. "They were not Sorted in houses, but stayed in the the women's quarters, although some of the older boys were given classes in reading, writing, horse riding, and other basic skills in the rooms across from the Hospital Wing, the very room the daycare is in now, where the young girls had their skills taught in a room in the ladies quarter of Ravenclaw... where their main storeroom is now. That continued until after Hogsmeade was well established and opened a school for the younger children in the thirteenth century, attached to the old church. I have been told those buildings are long gone now."

"I'll ask my grandfather about it. Perhaps he has some idea where they were," Pippa offered with interest.`

"Look, that's fascinating and all, but what does it have to do with our research?" Jeremy asked, nonplussed. "Quintin, weren't you researching Bedivere or something?"

"Yes, sorry, back to that," the Sorting Hat replied. "Many of the Saxon kings were more open to the presence of magic, although many times it was through acts of desperation," he explained. "Well before the castle had been completed, Godric Gryffindor and Squire O'Laren dashed south at the bequest of King Aethelstan, who had been making gains in the Scottish country after an alliance of his enemies nearly ended his efforts to unify the kingdoms. He had heard of Gryffindor's deeds as a wizard and sent messengers to the castle to seek assistance at Brunanburh, and Gryffindor led a group of wizards to help him turn the battle. He was so grateful that he made Gryffindor a knight on the spot."

"Wait, Hogwarts a History has Gryffindor's birthday estimated circa 954," Quintin said.

"I wish. Take that back forty years," the Sorting Hat said. "If that were true, the castle would have been in construction before Godric was even born. This was an undertaking of grand proportions for the time period, you know. They had to move a lot of earth and re-level the lake, as well as design a channel system to get all of those raw material like stone and timber up here when this castle was in the middle of no where in hostile territory. On top of that, stone castles of this scale take time to build, even with the help of magic. You of all people know what the underbelly of this castle is like, Quintin, just building out those cisterns needed a team of masons. Even so, Hogwarts was no where big as the current school. It's more than doubled its original size, thanks to additions like this Guard Wing, which wasn't added until much later."

"I see. And you're right, Godric's birthdate doesn't work at all. I wonder why no one ever questioned it before?" Quintin asked.

"Because history has plot holes. Never take numbers for granted," the Sorting Hat said. "The earlier the time period, the larger the discrepancies. Just be grateful you're not having to figure out dates before the Roman invasion. As I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times..."

"Measurements of time are human in origin and filled with inconsistencies, yes, yes, I know," Quintin interrupted with a sigh. "Unless we go with goblin timekeeping, of course..."

"Let's not get into that again."

"Yes, please! Back on track!" Jeremy protested. "Quintin, I have better things to do than watch you argue with an enchanted Hat!"

"I'm with you, Jeremy. The next time they get off topic, we should have a snack break," Oscar suggested.

"Fine, I'll drop it, but let's make sure the right dates are written in our report, even if the only way we can corroborate it is through asking ghosts and paintings to do it," Quintin insisted. They all wrote down the specific years the Sorting Hat gave them. Finally, Quintin turned his attention back to the subject at hand. "So Godric and O'Laren fought in this famous battle that helped unite England before the castle was fully completed. I take it that their involvement in fighting the giants was much later."

"Oh yes, most definitely. After the battle, Gryffindor spent some time in the west country securing some land he had been given near the farming community he grew up in. He 'set up house,' as you call it, settling his family into the manor house, allotting land to local farmers and villagers, and setting up rent and taxes and the like," the Sorting Hat said. "O'Laren went on to Hogwarts to oversee things in Gryffindor's absence until his return. By the time Gryffindor arrived, the main keep... where the Great Hall and the central part of the castle is now... was nearing completion, and Gryffindor was ready to roll up his sleeves and dive into school administration, using what he had learned from managing his estate and applying it to the school functions. After seeing his skill at such matters, it was Rowena Ravenclaw who first suggested that Gryffindor take over school affairs as the first Headmaster, and it was met with an enthusiastic response from Helga and a cool reception from Salazar Slytherin," the Sorting Hat explained. "You see, while they were all still good friends at the time, Salazar had privately convinced himself that he would be given that role, being in many ways the most brilliant wizard of his time, both in intelligent and magical power. But Rowena argued that it would take balance to lead a school of such different disciplines, as well as a fair hand and a calm head. Therefore, Gryffindor was chosen, and Salazar accepted their decision and supported it... on the surface. Salazar knew that having Gryffindor as head of administration would also end the argument he was having with the other founders over whether or not to let first generation wizards and witches in, with him on the losing end. It was not long after that Salazar decided to 'help out' by sending the masons in charge of building the underground waterways to the main keep construction to help 'speed things up', while he took over the project to make certain the lower castle was protected against flooding events.

"It seemed like a the reasonable request, really," the Sorting Hat continued, Quintin propping up his head as he listened intently. "After all, the dungeons were where both the Potion Room and the Dark Arts Room were at the time, and of course his apprentices' rooms were on the lakeside and many of those rooms were under the level of the lake itself."

"Oh, so you mean where the Slytherin House rooms are now," Quintin concluded.

"Yes, and the request to add more secret passages into and out of that area was also very reasonable for health and safety, since we certainly didn't want anyone trapped down there if all of our precautions failed and the lower castle did flood over. So, of course the other founders went along with Slytherin's proposal. Yes, well, to be fair, it's just as well that Slytherin had gone overboard when it came to protecting the lower levels, considering what happened before the Battle of Ciardoth. The school might have lost students if he hadn't taken every precaution," the Sorting Hat admitted reluctantly. "Even so, I'm sure you already realize that wasn't his main reason for wanting to take over that part of construction."

"Because that's when he suggested to close the underground waterways for security reasons... including the area that Bethia got stuck in," Quintin concluded. "And when he created the Chamber of Secrets."

"Yes, and that inner chamber that Wuscfrea died in," the Sorting Hat murmured. "Of course, Gryffindor wasn't told about any of it, nor were the other founders, although Gryffindor often wondered if Wuscfrea's disappearance had anything to do with the disappearance of Dagda's Cauldron. Gryffindor was more than a little frustrated about the Cauldron passing out of the school's hands after they had gone to so much trouble to find it."

"Why's that?" Pete asked.

That's when the Sorting Hat glanced around and realized that Quintin and Pete were the only ones sitting there listening.

"Where did the rest of your research team go?" the Sorting Hat asked.

"To get snacks. You went off topic again," Pete explained.

"Never mind that, I want to hear more about what you're talking about," Quintin said, waving it off. "Who do you mean by 'they'? Do you mean Gryffindor and O'Laren?"

"In this case, I mean the Sentinels of Magic," the Sorting Hat explained. "You see, Hogwarts was meant to be not only a school, but a fortress designed to protect the most important magic items and documents of our culture. Our lands were ravaged with war and destruction, and every hour of every day, magic tomes and items were destroyed or fell into the wrong hands. There was no Gringotts or Ministry Vaults or museums of any kind to safeguard them at that point, and the Wizard Council was little more than a moot for wizards that met in undisclosed locations, since they were all scattered about in those days. When this school was approved, it was with the understanding that it would also house some of the more sensitive items of wizardkind, including securing Callum's Seal. By the time the castle was finished and it was secure enough to send anyone on such a quest, the titles had passed on the founder's students, who, as you know, were O'Laren, Dusthorn, Ravenclaw, and Craw."

"Hang on... if they were the four founder's apprentices, does that mean the founders were also Sentinels of Magic?"

"Yes, of course. How else do you think the four founders ended up together? Did you think they met up at a tavern? Gryffindor would have found better drinking mates than that," the Sorting Hat huffed. "Things weren't as disconnected from Merlin's Plan as the Sentinels had been after Voldemort's death, you know, only a handful of centuries had past since the times of Arthur. At that point, the Sentinels were still all working together to put together Merlin's vision... well, for the most part," the Hat grunted. "The leader of Equinox wasn't exactly keen on the idea of reintegration, but he was highly in favor of making the castle secure enough to house all of our artifacts in documents."

"Hang on. Was Slytherin the head of Equinox, perhaps?" Quintin guessed.

"Yes," the Sorting Hat acknowledged.

"And in that light, especially since Gryffindor was going out of his way to try and help the Muggles to unite the country, I bet Gryffindor was the head of Merlin," Quintin concluded.

"Also correct," the Sorting Hat agreed. "Slytherin's hatred for those of impure blood didn't just drive the Founders apart; it was also the last time Equinox and Merlin ever worked together. When the Cauldron disappeared, Slytherin originally blamed Gryffindor for it, since they had been fighting over its purpose. Because of it, Slytherin feared that all of the artifacts that were brought to Hogwarts were also going to be pulled out of his reach. That is when he instructed Equinox to stop bringing found artifacts to the castle and instead to begin stashing it themselves to keep them out of Hogwarts. It was also that point that the other founders decided to end the quest to bring the items of Callum's Seal to the castle; Slytherin did not know what the last piece even was, so Gryffindor asked the Sentinels to keep it a secret. By that time, the younger Sentinels had become close, succeeding in finding a balance in friendship that the founders had not. O'Lauren advised Gryffindor not to speak of the last piece and that advice was taken seriously, and Slytherin never found out that the Stone of Destiny was hidden in plain sight near Tara. Of course, it was later stolen and replaced with a fake to safeguard it, but that is another story entirely," the Sorting Hat said.

The two boys pondered that in silence for a moment.

"Well! I'm all talked out, and your friends should be back soon. How about a game?" the Sorting Hat inquired. "Brave Knights, perhaps?"

"Brave Knights? Do you really want to play that?" Quintin said with half a laugh.

"You did promise," the Hat reminded him.

"What's Brave Knights?" Pete asked curiously.

"You'll probably think it's silly," Quintin admitted sheepishly. "It's a game where my friends and I go about pretending that we're knights guarding the castle. Even some of the ghosts like to get involved. Juvenile, I know."

"Well, maybe, but it makes sense wanting to play like knights in this castle, so it sounds like a lot of fun to me. Besides, haven't you ever been to reenactments on a school trip? Even adults like to play knight sometimes," Pete reasoned. "So how do we go about it? And where should we play at?"

"I guess we'll have to play here, since I promised my father that I wouldn't take the Sorting Hat out of the Guard Wing," Quintin explained.

"Splendid! You didn't promise him that you'd stay in the Common Room, correct?" the Sorting Hat guessed. "Do you recall just how big this wing really is?"

"I've never been out of the Common Room or dorms before," Pete admitted.

"Start gathering the others," Quintin suggested with a grin. "And I'll send a message to see if any ghosts want to play."

When Severus finally gave up and went looking, he stepped into the Common Room to find it strangely empty. Glancing at his watch, he stepped over to where the painting of Jennifer and himself was hanging guarding the back two doors.

"I don't suppose you have any idea where the house members are before I resort to using the compass on my watch?" Severus asked his painting.

"After finishing his research for the day, the Sorting Hat pointed out to Quintin that the Guard Wing is quite large and that you did not specify that they had to keep the Hat in the Common Room," the Severus painting reported critically. "Therefore, Quintin rallied his house, several ghosts, and several familiars, and went off to play Brave Knights. Rasputin went with them too, by the way."

"Yes, they went to the Fluffy Room, so they're probably downstairs," the Jennifer painting replied. The Severus painting gazed at her critically.

"Must you call it that?" his portrait asked, nonplussed.

"It's too late to fight it, Severus, your sister and Ambrose both call it that, and you know how these house traditions stick," the Jennifer painting warned with a smile. Her husband rolled his eyes at that, while Jennifer turned her attention to the Headmaster.

"Severus, could you please ask Quintin to show my real self his dictated research? I think she'll find it quite enlightening," the Jennifer painting suggested with a smile that let him know that she was up to something.

"Anything in particular that I should know about?" Severus inquired, glancing at his image.

"Do yourself a favor and don't ask. Save yourself the headache for as long as possible, and stock up on headache powders... just in case," his portrait advised.

"Very well, I'll let Jennifer handle it," Severus decided, then began to turn around.

"By the way, you're not going to leave us here all term, are you? I am a bit concerned that the longer we are here, the more likely we will end up picking up Headmaster Painting powers, especially since we had both served as headmasters before we were painted," his portrait added.

"He's not worried about himself picking up powers, he's worried about me," Jennifer's painting said knowingly, holding onto his arm. "He's afraid I'll end up giving Caprica Dusthorn a run for her money when it comes to nosing in and causing trouble."

"Yes, he has a point. I'll see how Alicia is coming with the replacement and have you back home as soon as humanly possible," Severus promised.

"Alright, Professor! In the meantime, maybe we should come up with nicknames," Jennifer suggested to her painted husband enthusiastically.

Deciding that going about his business was the best way out of the conversation, the Headmaster turned and went into the front room. He worked his way down the ladder, wondering how they managed to Rasputin down there and, more importantly, what would be the easiest way to get him back up the ladder. As Severus walked through the empty chambers, he could hear the echo of voices and laughter, and it wasn't long before he made his way to the door of the Key Tower and peered inside curiously.

Several of the students had wooden swords in hand, and two of them, Sir Pete and Sir Oscar, were engaged with Sir Nick and the Baron, who were partly fighting, partly instructing them on how to hold them and how to stand and block. On outer staircase that led up the tower, Sir Quintin and Sir Hat seemed to be in the middle of an attempt to rescue Lady Bethia. Sir Jeremy watched his back, while several of the other students aided his ascent. At the landing on top stood Dame Charlotte, apparently playing the bad knight, while Sir Curt and Dame Libby were playing prison guards for Lady Bethia. Rasputin, once again playing the dragon, hissed menacingly at the approaching rescuers.

"Dame Charlotte, call off your dragon and release your prisoner! Surrender peacefully and you will not be harmed!" Sir Quintin declared.

"Have you ever seen inside a medieval dungeon? They're not pleasant," Dame Charlotte commented.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have kidnapped the Lady Bethia!" Sir Hat chided her.

"I'm open to negotiations, but I want something in exchange," Dame Charlotte said. "Hand over Sir Hat!"

Everyone gasped.

"What? That's not..." suddenly Sir Quintin paused and had a distant look in his face, nodding a couple of times as Sir Hat spoke inside his head. "Yeah, okay. Call of the dragon and we'll do a prisoner exchange halfway up the stairs!"

"Don't try anything sneaky, or my guards will come after you," Dame Charlotte warned.

"Yeah, okay. Everyone hold your swords until it's over!" Quintin said, frowning disapprovingly down at the bottom of the stairs when it took Sir Nick and Sir Baron an extra long time to stop their lesson and step back into place. Then they showed the two boys how to stand with their swords pointed down.

Severus stepped just inside the door and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, watching the slow, overly dramatic tension of the prisoner exchange as Sir Quintin held out Sir Hat. A ghost took it from him and hovered it back up the stairs as Bethia daintily stepped behind Quintin and his fellow knights. Just as Severus expected, there was a sudden cry of surprise when Sir Hat went bobbing out of range because Sir Hop, hiding in the Hat the entire time, went dashing down the stairs.

"Seize him, Dragon!" Dame Charlotte commanded.

The Dragon stared down the stairs, and then hissed.

"He's too fast for me. I think I'll take a nap," Severus heard him hiss. Then Rasputin plopped on the stairs in such a way that the students who had chosen to side with Charlotte couldn't possibly get down without disturbing him.

It was then that Severus finally cleared his throat, using a spell to make it loud enough that it echoed through the Key Tower and made everyone looked over at him. Upon seeing the Headmaster, several ghosts made tracks, including Bethia, while Nick, Baron, and Lady Charlotte grimaced sheepishly.

"Mr. Snape, did I or did I not instruct you to return that Hat to the Headmaster's Study at a particular time for a particular reason?" Severus inquired.

"I have ten minutes and twelve seconds left," Quintin said, but hastily grabbed Ebony and the Hat and made his way down the steps with the rest of the students.

"Yes, well, not everyone in this castle is quite as meticulous with timing as you are, Mr. Snape, and I assure you that right now there is someone in the vicinity of the Headmaster's Study that is very much letting it known that the Hat's presence is overdue," Severus said sternly.

"In other words, the baby's screaming her merry little head off for her night night story," Jeremy murmured to Pete. Unfortunately, the acoustics in the room made it easily heard by everyone.

"Thank you, Mr. Miller. I'd also like to inform all of you that until these rooms are renovated, they are not your private exercise yard," Severus said sternly. "I would appreciate it if you took your energetic activities outside from now on," he added, shaking the tip of the Hat until the rabbit dropped into Quintin's arms.

"Yes, Professor," Quintin said glumly.

"I'm sure you have time to eat and study before you turn in... generally speaking, that is, don't quote me the time," he added for good measure. "I also would appreciate whoever helped Rasputin down the ladder would help up up the ladder as well."

"Yes, Professor," the voice of Janus Craw said. Rasputin hissed in protest as something lifted him from under his front legs and floated him towards the ladder.

"Perhaps a Doorlift would be a good idea?" Jeremy suggested.

"Perhaps when these rooms are finally renovated, which they obviously aren't. Run along, thank you," Severus said, shooing him out with the rest. He shook his head as the ghosts dispersed and the rest of them went up the stairs, putting the Sorting Hat on his head to free up his hands.

I am sorry about that, Severus, I did rather talk him into it, the Sorting Hat confessed inside his head. He's growing up so fast now, and I wonder when the day will come that I can't entice him into a game. His childhood adventures are slowly coming to an end. I will miss them when it does.

Yes, I suppose they are, but those adventures will simply be replaced with new ones, of that I'm certain, Severus thought dryly, stepping over to the ladder. Besides, you have another little protege to attend to, and it will be no time at all before you find yourself marching down the corridors again.

I hope you're right I am beginning to wonder if this one was only planning to include me in tea parties, the Hat confessed. Severus couldn't help but smirk, locking the trap door behind himself.

Considering who her parents are, I think that would be unlikely at best, Severus reasoned, stepping in the Doorlift and coming out on the right floor. He walked into the nursery to see Serendipity standing in her cot with tears in her eyes and a critical expression, while Jennifer helplessly attempted to placate her by reading to her.

"Oh, thank goodness! I thought you two would never get here," Jennifer said with exasperation.

"Sir Hat and Sir Severus are here to rescue the fair witch in distress!" the Sorting Hat declared.

"Don't overplay it," Severus told the Hat curtly, taking the offered book from Jennifer and sitting down with the Sorting Hat still on his head, while Jennifer coaxed Seren to lie down for storytime.