Chapter 2: Inexplicable

I zipped through the foliage, colliding with trunks as my mind scrambled with a million thoughts a minute. Bark flew haphazardly and clung to my fur as my large paws cupped into the soft earth and tossed it behind me. Howls, grunts, and coughs ripped from my chest unceremoniously as my wolf took over. Utilizing what little control I had left, I kept myself from turning back to Cara.

Embry? Embry! Jake's voice echoed through my thoughts, accompanied by Seth.

What's wrong with him? Seth asked as I felt them both probe at my jumbled thoughts.

I don't know, I can't make out anything. Embry, you need to calm down.

But I couldn't. Recollections of last night and today's encounter with Cara melded together; the sight of her tanned legs in heels, the beauty mark above her upper lip, her scent, the shotgun she held with her arms crossed when I had turned around, and her eyes. Those eyes... I yelped, pain shooting through my sides as I was bulldozed into a tree. I whimpered, my vision blurred as I looked up at my Alpha's huffing form.

Now... He grumbled, towering over me. I need you to show me exactly what happened.

My wolf coiled in on itself, unable to resist an Alpha order. I showed him everything from the first look at Cara last night to the first meeting today. Even as the events replayed in my mind, I felt embarrassed. Seth approached us as I sat up, hanging my head as Jake processed everything I gave him.

You... lost control? Seth questioned with bewilderment radiating. I didn't think that was possible. You're the most collected out of everyone.

Jake nodded. He's right. Even I didn't react that way when I imprinted.

I know... I lowed, laying on the ground to cover my head with my paws.

Just... wait here a minute. Seth, you finish running patrol. I need to make a call.

Okay, boss. Seth nodded, bounding away to complete his run.

Jake phased out of his wolf form and pulled out his cellphone. Even though he stepped away from me, I could still hear the conversation.

"Sam... I need your help." Jake shifted, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of needing anything from Sam. "It's Embry. He imprinted, but..." He walked further away as if it would drown out the conversation. "something's... wrong."

Wrong? Wrong how? The confusion in Sam's voice earned a heavy sigh from my chest as I closed my eyes.

"I don't know how to explain it. It's like his wolf has completely taken over, or at least wants to."

Wrong... my imprint, gone wrong. Of course it would be me to have something go wrong...

I could feel Seth and the desire to put in his two cents, but he remained quiet and empathetic. I felt small, like a child that would run and hide under their mother's dress when they were scared or embarrassed. I had room to be grateful, to have imprinted before finding someone like Sam once had with Leah, but the situation left a pit in my stomach.

Jacob approached once more and I sat up, straightening my form out of respect for my Alpha. "Sam is on his way. I think he'll have a better idea of how to help you." I nodded my understanding. "I'll take your truck home and get you fresh clothes." He leaned forward to pet the top of my head, then grasp the fur as he pressed his forehead to mine. "It's alright, man. We'll figure this out together."

He pat my cheek after pulling back, then fully pulled away to leave. I sat under the tree, hunching my back once Jake had left. I felt defeated, and every fiber of my being yearned to be near my imprint. Without a second thought, I gathered myself and followed her faint scent through the forest. Everything was a thousand miles away, a blur as the focus of my vision came to. I plopped down in the treeline, standing guard over Cara and her grandmother as they sat on the front porch. Cara's legs were curled underneath her as the wicker chair creaked with every little movement she made. I hadn't the slightest clue what she was reading to Ms. Siler as I focused on her as a whole.

She wore straight-leg jeans, a gray T-shirt, and a rust colored jacket that looked like suede or velvet. The jacket seemed to swallow her petite form whole as it cupped around her frame and crinkled at her shoulders, cuffed at her wrists. The faint scent of white tea and orange blossoms breezed over my snout and I sighed contentedly. The urge was still there to run to her, to expose myself... but I fought the wolf to remain rooted to my spot beyond the treeline.

"Embry?"

My ears pricked and I turned my head to see Sam behind me with my clothes in hand. I stood, turning to face him and allow him to tie the clothes to my hind leg. He said nothing more until I returned from dressing. He peered through the trees to observe my imprint as she read to her grandmother, as if just seeing her would explain why my wolf took over so aggressively.

"Come with me." He told me, turning away from the tree line and heading further into the woods. I followed, stuffing my hands into my jean pockets and kicking sticks along the way. "Explain everything to me. Jacob replayed your memories for me, but I want to hear first-hand how you felt."

"I..." I breathed out, flapping my lips as I rubbed the back of my neck. "I don't know... It felt like it should have. That pull, that shift, the familiarity... everything felt right."

"But?"

"But... as soon as it had happened, my wolf lost it. I can't explain it. It was like... the urge to mate mixed with... protectiveness."

"But there was no threat?"

I shook my head, looking up at him. "No threat, I wasn't angry, nothing... it just happened."

"Yes, well... I think it's safe to assume at this point that these things don't just happen." We reached the edge of a cliff and sat, letting the cold air wash over us. "As much as I hate to say it... I think you should stay away from her."

"What?!"

"Let me finish." He glanced at me from the corner of his eye before turning his stare back out to the ocean. "There seems to be no trigger that we know of... and until we know it, I think you should keep a distance. You wouldn't want an accident to happen."

His tone was flat, but filled with regret as I knew he thought of Emily. At the same thought, I knew it was a possibility, and I could never forgive myself if it happened. I sighed deeply, nodding but not trusting my voice.

"Until then..." He cleared his throat. "Why don't we meet with an elder? Maybe they have some recommendation for what our next steps should be."

"I don't have a choice. Do I?"

He shook his head as he stood. "No."

Defeated, I sighed as I closed my eyes. I knew this, and yet a part of me was disappointed. Was it disappointment or was it shame? I followed after Sam as the rain began to downpour. He led the way to his Jeep and we both silently entered. The rain pattered against the fabric roof, coming down in sheets. I gazed longingly out the window as we passed Ms. Siler's house. The sound of a tea kettle whistling reached my ears then faded as we drove deeper into La Push.
I had no clue where we were going. Usually when any of us went to speak to an elder, it was Billy or Sue Clearwater. I sunk deeper into my seat, feeling a sense of shame that I would be the reason an elder of higher status would need to be involved. I glanced at Sam from the corner of my eye. Was he taking me to the same person that had helped him when he lost control around Emily? Whether he was unaware of my sideways glance or not, he remained focused on the road as the rain made it nearly impossible to see.

Even as we turned onto a dirt drive, I wasn't sure what to expect as we followed the trail nearly a quarter mile into the woods. At the end of it was a single family cabin, dark and worn with age. The rain beat across the porch, the wind sliding the chairs and table into the railing enclosing the area. Sam flickered the lights at the window before cutting off the engine and telling me to get out. We ran onto the porch and Sam opened the door for us, holding open the screen door so I could enter first. The cabin was dressed in true Native American fashion, from murals of the wolves to tapestries and clay pots crafted years ago. The scent of burning wood and a minty aroma reached my nostrils and although the scent was pleasant, my gut twisted.

"Palo Santo."

I turned around to see the elder, a man with long white hair, bushy brows, and deep-set lines from showing emotion throughout the years. "I'm sorry?"

"Palo Santo. It's a purifying wood. Does the spirit good." He smiled warmly at me, wrapping his shawl tighter around him as he took a step forward. "Your aura is clouded... and your wolf is unsettled." He nodded at Sam. "I've got it from here."

Sam nodded. "Thank you."

Sam turned to me, patting my shoulder with an open palm, then turning to leave without another word.

"Please, sit." He motioned to a chair as he sat on one opposite of mine. "I'm sure you're wondering why your Alpha brought you to me."

"He's... not my Alpha."

"Ah, yes, second in command." He nodded with a chuckle. "It is difficult to keep up on all of the pack hierarchy when it's been decades since you've phased."

I shifted in my seat, my stomach continuing to knot. "I'm sorry... my stomach..."

"It's the Palo Santo. It's purifying and by the looks of it, you need it." I glanced down sheepishly. "But that's what I'm here for. I don't believe we've formally met, but I'm Joseph. I'm the tribe's Shaman."

"Embry."

"Yes, I am most aware of who you are, son." He beamed. "The spirits have told me a lot about you. I have been preparing for this meeting for a long time." I opened my mouth to speak, but he waved his hand to stop me. "All of your questions will be answered in due time."

I was silent for a moment before speaking. "Why am I really here?"

"That's a loaded question." He chuckled, rocking in his chair. "But I'll give you the simple answer. You need help, do you not? Why don't you explain to me why your wolf is restless."

"Well... I-uh..." I rubbed at the back of my neck. "I imprinted." He nodded, waiting for me to continue on. "H-her name is Cara. There really isn't anything else..."

"Nothing?" I shrugged. "Why such unrest if you simply imprinted? Is there anything that is or could blocking your union? Anything you could think of at all?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Hmmm..." He stroked his chin as the chair creaked over the sound of the storm outside. "Well, I do believe that we should just start at the beginning."

"And... what exactly is the beginning?"

He motioned for me to follow into a back room and my stomach continued to twist into knots, but now from nervousness. The room was dimly lit and the windows covered with tapestries. He motioned for me to sit on one of the pillows on the floor and I did so after removing my shoes. I didn't know how much I believed of the spirits or auras, but figured if I could turn into a horse-sized wolf and vampires existed that more had to be possible. If it meant that I could be near Cara, I was willing to try anything.
I watched as Joseph organized several items on his table, pulling out a few objects and stones from cupboards before lighting a piece of wood and settling into a tray to burn. I recognized the smell from the living room as it burned. Joseph stepped toward me with two large stones, one black and the other a nearly translucent white.

"Clear quartz." He stated, pushing the translucent stone into my right hand. "For harmony and balance." He settled the black rock into my left hand. "Black obsidian to absorb negative energy and thoughts."

I looked down at the rocks in my hands, feeling their weight as I began to worry. What if I did this wrong? What if my lack of faith messed something up. "Joseph..."

"You will be fine, Embry." He assured me. "This is simply going to give me a chance to read your energy. The stones will aid when I guide you through the meditation."

Were my nerves written that clearly across my face? The idea of reading energy made me uncomfortable. This was completely new territory that all felt like too much at once. First losing control, now I was sitting here with the tribe's shaman, getting ready to meditate and "read my energy"? Every part of my rational mind screamed at me to get up and walk right out the door... but I wanted to stay. As asinine as it all sounded, something told me to stay and I did.

The low hum of the bowl he had struck made me cringe as the sound tore at my sensitive hearing. He had instructed me to close my eyes and focus on my breathing, clearing my mind of all intrusive thoughts. I had thought I was doing well, until he would strike a bowl or do something else that I wasn't familiar with. It was difficult to focus on sitting still and being silent when it was something you had to do. And maybe I was just awful at meditating.

"That's enough for today."

"What?" I opened my eyes to watch as he stood up, holding his hands out for the stones, which I returned. "But I thought I was just getting the hang of it."

"Meditation isn't something you just become well at over night. It takes practice and a patient soul. Trust me, we did a lot here today."

"But... I don't feel any different." I frowned, getting to my feet.

"Oh, but you will." He chuckled. "If you don't feel it soon, you will most certainly feel it tomorrow."

He guided me back out to the front door. "What will it feel like?"

"Exhaustion." He laughed lightly. "And all you can do is rest. Swim, nap, go for a walk. Connect back with the Earth and I will see you tomorrow evening."

I knew it best not to argue as I nodded, slipping my shoes back on. I wanted to know what he had seen when he "read my energy", but it didn't seem like I was going to get much of an answer tonight. Maybe he didn't even know? The rain had let up into a barely there drizzle and the wind had died down. After saying goodbye, I hid in the tree line to dress down and phase. Connect with the Earth... What does that even mean? After all I had heard, I knew I had a lot of research to do when I got home. It was going to drive me insane if I didn't look up what some of these terms meant and what his definition of them were.
Sam was on patrol with Jared, but neither of them questioned me as I ran home and I kept my thoughts quiet until I was back in my own head. Jake had parked my truck back in the driveway and I made a mental note to thank him the next time I saw him. As expected, my keys and phone were on the passenger seat... and a few missed calls from my mom were there as well. I sighed deeply, closing my eyes as I rest my head on the frame of the door. What was I going to tell her?

Hey, Ma, I found my soulmate today, but I can't be around her because my wolf is a fucking psychopath whenever I'm near her. So, don't go planning the wedding just yet.

"Fucking hell..." I grumbled, slamming the truck door shut.

On cue, the front door opened, bathing the grass out front in a brown-yellow hue. "Embry, is that you?"

I sighed, gathering myself as I stepped around the front of the truck and into her line of sight. "Yeah, it's me."

"Oh, good... I was worried when I saw your truck here and got no answer from your phone." I didn't speak, instead pulling her in for a tight hug after I climbed the steps. "Oh... is everything okay?"

I nodded, squeezing her just a bit tighter. "Yeah... Just needed a hug."

I could feel her smile as she pet my hair and I could feel it. Just as Joseph said, the wave of exhaustion hit me and I wanted nothing more than to crawl into my bed. She let me retreat upstairs without further inquiry and I flopped onto my bed as soon as my shoes were off. I knew all of my research would have to wait until tomorrow, and I didn't argue with my body. For the first time since I had met Cara, my wolf stopped pacing and lain still. As I drifted, I focused my hearing on Ms. Siler's house down the way and smiled as I heard the faint sound of Cara's breathing and her body rustling gently under covers and against a mattress. Audibly, I knew she was okay, and that was enough to allow my body to slip the rest of the way under.