Chapter 4: Hero
I spent the bulk of my week with Joseph, utilizing every free moment that I could to practice. I began to discern the difference between the physical and "spiritual" planes. It was a difficult concept for me to grasp and my brain often fought to rationalize. According to Joseph, it was due to blockages in my crown chakra. At times, Joseph's lessons resonated with me and at others I instinctively brushed them off. Even as I could feel the difference that meditation had done for myself and my wolf, a part of me desired to remain rooted in reality. The thought of something bigger than myself terrified me.
As I peered through my curtains, I caught sight of Ms. Siler's house in the distance. Smoke rose from the chimney and as I focused my hearing I could hear the crisp crackle of burning firewood and a beep from a kitchen appliance. The living room recliner continued to softly rock after Cara had stood and walked away. Her footsteps lightly thumped against the tile as she cleared her throat, the timer continuing to beep until she was close enough to stop it mid-beep. The old stove creaked as it was opened and the metal hissed as a baking sheet was drug across the wire rack. I smiled softly as I listened to her plate the meal, closing my eyes to visualize myself right there with her.
The TV continued on in the living room and the faint sound of Ms. Siler's breathing was alongside it. She mumbled to herself, but anything she said was intelligible. I found myself listening in on their house more often these days, and it seemed that each day Ms. Siler was getting a little bit worse. There had been an incident where Ms. Siler had wondered out of her room after her nap and took a short tumble as she attempted to climb the stairs. From what could be heard, Cara had caught her before she had gotten too far, but the shock resulted in a tumble and a fractured leg on Ms. Siler's part.
Forcing myself to withdraw from the window, I joined my mom downstairs for dinner. I knew not to expect anything fancy and the BLT's she brought home hit the spot. We sat down in front of the TV together, watching Dexter as we ate. Although my eyes were on the screen, my hearing was fixated on Cara and Ms. Siler. The sound of silverware scraping against the plate reached my ears as their TV softly continued through their meal. Without registering what I was doing, I basically inhaled my food and excused myself for a walk.
Stuffing my hands into my sweatshirt, I smiled softly as I slowly headed for Ms. Siler's house. My ears zeroed in on the house, a musical playing on the TV as I realized that only one of them was eating. It became obvious who by the speed at which the food was eaten and with such precision. My feet had carried me to the house much faster than I had anticipated, but by that time Cara had realized that her grandmother wasn't eating. I could hear the gentle swish of her clothes as she stood and knelt before her.
"Grandma... aren't you hungry?"
I could hear the audible crack in Ms. Siler's neck as she moved her head. "Who are you?"
Cara swallowed as I climbed the steps. "I-it's me grandma. Cara?"
The chair creaked as Ms. Siler moved. "Jane? Why did you take so long to come visit me?"
"Grandma..."
"You came for my money, didn't you?" She snapped, her voice escalating. "I know what you use that money for! You won't be using drugs under my roof, young lady!"
"Grandma, please!"
A loud thump hit the ground, followed by the sound of the plate hitting the rug. I didn't bother with a knock, barreling through the door to see Ms. Siler with a grip on Cara's wrists. Cara's head whipped around, her eyes filled with tears and laced with fear as she tried to take her hands back.
"Ungrateful child!" She hissed, lifting one hand from Cara's wrists to deliver a harsh slap to her face.
Ms. Siler let go of Cara, allowing her to scramble backwards as I put myself between the two of them. My wolf was ready to pounce, the hairs on my body standing to full attention as I faced the old woman.
"Ms. Siler, please." I whispered.
The old woman's features lightened as she tilted her head quizzically. "Who are you?"
I knelt before her, sighing as my wolf withdrew. "It's me, Embry."
"Embry..." She shook her head. "But you're just a little boy."
I shook my head, smiling sadly. "Not anymore."
She beamed, lifting a hand to caress my cheek. "Look at how handsome you've become."
I gently grasped her hand, pulling it from my flesh. "Come on. Why don't we get you to bed? You must be tired."
She nodded, letting me take her hands. "I-I am... Oh, but I hope you enjoyed the ice cream. I know how much you love it when I make strawberry."
"It was delicious. And my mom says 'thank you' for the tea."
"Oh, good." She smiled, leaning against me as I led her back to the bedroom.
Cara trailed behind us, watching from the doorway in silence as I tucked Ms. Siler into the bed. The elderly woman seemed to calm, closing her eyes to fall asleep as I retreated to the door. Cara backed away, allowing me to shut the bedroom door before speaking.
"How did you know to do that?" She whispered.
I turned towards her, noting the red splotch across her tanned cheek from Ms. Siler's hand. "I've watched Mrs. Greer do it before. I just reacted."
She nodded, looking down to her feet as she crossed her arms across her chest, puffing up the sweatshirt she wore. I slowly reached out for her cheek, not fully registering what I was doing. "Are you alright?"
She nodded, backing away before my fingertips could touch, but I could feel the heat resonating from the tender flesh. "Yeah, I'll be okay..." She cleared her throat, heading back down the hall, towards the living room. "What are you doing here?"
I followed, helping her pick up the mess that had been made. "I came to apologize for running out on you the other day. I wasn't feeling well." I half lied. "When I got to the door, I could hear the commotion and just... reacted."
"I suppose it could have been worse if you hadn't." She sighed, closing the TV trays and storing them behind the couch.
She joined me in the kitchen as I placed both her and Ms. Siler's plates in the sink. The tray of lasagna sat atop a potholder on the counter, only a quarter of the meal missing. I glanced over my shoulder to watch the TV, a pale woman with long, brown curls, dressed in all black boarding a horse and carriage and asking the man to take her to her father's grave. The score gave me chills as the horse and carriage rode through the muddy streets, focusing on the woman's face as what I assumed was her voice singing in the overlay led into a crescendo of glorious orchestral music as she entered the graveyard.
"Phantom of the Opera."
"Hmm?" I withdrew my focus on the movie and turned to look at Cara as she finished scrubbing the red sauce from the rug.
"The movie. Phantom of the Opera. Have you seen it before?"
I shook my head. "No, not really a fan of musicals."
"Are you really, or have you never given them a chance?"
I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it as I mulled over her words. "I... suppose I never really have."
She smiled softly as she put the carpet cleaner back in the hallway closet. "You should."
"I might." I smiled as she rejoined me in the kitchen.
"Are you hungry? There's plenty of leftovers."
My stomach betrayed me with a low growl, mimicking my wolf as he stirred lowly in the back of my mind. I knew that what my mother had brought home wouldn't be enough, and I planned on eating later on when she had gone to bed. Although, it would be the perfect excuse to spend more time with Cara... but maybe it was a push I wasn't ready for.
"I'd love some."
I was able to reign in my wolf a bit better and decided it was time to test the waters. Perhaps it was a tad premature and impulsive... but how else was I going to learn to control my wolf around Cara?
I leaned back against the pink tiled counter top, watching as she cut a healthy slice from the tray and plated it for the microwave. The food began to reheat, popping softly as she grabbed a small object from the living room. When she returned, she set up the object on the kitchen table and I realized that it was a screen to a camera she had set up in Ms. Siler's room. The elderly woman slept peacefully, the air being pushed through the vents the only ambient noise coming through the monitor.
Cara placed a kettle of water on the stovetop, allowing it to heat up as the microwaved beeped. She placed the plate and a fork at the table, pulling a napkin from the holder in the center of the table and sliding it towards me as I sat down.
"Tea? Water? Coffee?" She asked, turning her back on me.
"Water is fine." I responded, watching her tanned legs as she stood on her tiptoes to retrieve a glass.
Her shorts just barely made it two inches from the crease of her bottom, allowing me to admire the long legs exposed to my gaze. With wondering eyes, I noted the baggy gray material that passed for a hoodie embraced her top half. Her hair hung in messy waves over her ears, brushing over the edge of the hood scrunched under the nape of her neck. I drew the conclusion that no matter what this woman wore, I was going to find her the most beautiful creature on this Earth.
She returned with the glass, sliding it over my way before taking a brief seat in the chair across the table from me. A pregnant silence enveloped the room until the tea kettle whistled. It was then that I noticed she had turned off the movie and living room lights. I tried not to wolf down what I had been given, wanting to prolong the time I spent with her. But it was difficult not to notice the lack of conversation between us.
When we had initially met, it seemed like she wanted to talk, but things seemed different this time. She didn't seem to care whether I was here or not, and she moved as if she had a lot on her mind. I momentarily wished that I could be like Edward, or in the least have his power. What was she thinking? Did she not like me? Did she seem annoyed by my presence? I shook my head, noting that my inner voice sounded like a sorry teenager whilst my wolf whimpered like a neglected puppy scratching at the backdoor.
Cara returned, mindlessly dipping her tea bag into the steaming mug as she sat down across from me.
"I'm sorry." I offered, sitting back in my chair.
"Hmm?" She looked to me, blinking as if I had just brought her out of deep thought. "Sorry?"
"I just barged in here, and now you're feeding me. Sounds a bit backwards." I chuckled halfheartedly.
"Oh." She smiled, shaking her head as she turned her eyes back down to her mug. "Don't be sorry. If it were a complete stranger, it would be wildly different."
"But I am a stranger. Your neighbor and grocery boy, but still a stranger." I chuckled, taking a sip of water.
"You're right." She grinned, a low chuckle rumbling in her chest. "But my grandma trusted you, even if it was years ago. I think that deserves a little merit until proven otherwise, don't you?"
"If anything... it's appreciated."
She nodded, mindlessly fiddling with the string to dunk the tea bag over and over again as she whispered. "Thank you... I... I don't know how to handle her when she gets like that. It scares me. She's so fragile... but that grip was so strong. I didn't expect it."
I looked down to her wrists, shielded by her sweatshirt. She lifted a hand to gingerly touch her cheek, the redness having disappeared.
"Who's Jane?"
"My mom..." She sighed, still keeping her eyes cast down to her mug. "You probably didn't miss what she said, did you?"
I shook my head. "I didn't... sorry."
"Don't apologize." She sighed, taking a soft sip of her tea. "I don't know what all you've heard, but a long time ago, my mom... ran with the wrong crowd. Parties, drinking, drugs, you name it..." She leaned back in her seat, holding her mug close as she looked back up at me, freeing one hand to motion to herself. "And then she had me. She used to steal from grandma when she was using. But when she found out she was pregnant, she stopped. Grandma checked her into rehab, and as far as I know she's made a huge turn around."
I tilted my head. "You don't seem convinced."
She shook her head, her hair fanning over her shoulders and a soft breeze allotting me the sweet kiss of her orange blossom and white tea scent. "It's not that... She's clean."
"But?"
"I'm just trying to process the... literal slap to the face. I didn't think grandma could be so violent, and even if my mom may have deserved it... I couldn't imagine her doing that to my mom."
I offered a soothing smile. "If it's any consolation, I don't think any of us could really imagine it. I remember when my mom would tear into me, and I know I got in trouble sometimes... but to think of it now? It all seems like a distant memory and a bad dream. It doesn't feel like it truly happened."
She nodded. "I know what you mean... my mom never spanked me. Well... maybe a couple times, but it was more of a last resort. I suppose you're right. It does feel like a distant dream." She took a napkin from the holder and wrapped up her tea bag with it, tossing it into the garbage bin behind her. "So, stranger," She grinned. "tell me about yourself. What's there to know about Embry?"
I laughed, feeling warmth surge through my cheeks. "Not much. I've lived in La Push my whole life, uh... I love to run." I shrugged, not entirely lying.
"What do you do for work? Or is delivering groceries a full time job?" She teased.
"Oh, absolutely. Right next to slaying dragons and rescuing fair maidens." I waved my hand nonchalantly, earning a giggle as she sipped at her tea. "No, I do construction work every now and again."
"Why not full time?"
I sighed softly, my turn to look down at the small sliver of lasagna nestled in a pool of marinara sauce. "I don't know... My life has just been full of... surprises, to say the least. I guess I've just never felt like I've had any roots."
"Well... why not make your own?"
I snapped my eyes back up to her. "What do you mean?"
"There's no book on it, but... there's no rule saying you have to stay where you are because of circumstance. Trust me... there is always another path to choose. And you just might shock yourself."
"Yeah... maybe." I finished off the plate, noting that my wolf wasn't threatening to pounce on Cara. "Thank you for dinner."
"My pleasure." She smiled, standing to take the plate and deposit it in the sink.
I stood, having a feeling that this was the end of our conversation. It was still early in the night, but I was almost positive that Cara would want to rest after the events with Ms. Siler.
"I should probably head out." I cleared my throat, pushing the chair in.
"Are you sure?"
My heart sped up at her question, my wolf pacing at the subtle indication that she wanted me to stay.
Nonetheless, I nodded before lying through my teeth. "I should. I promised my mom that I would help her with something before bed tonight."
She smiled, leaning back against the dated counter. "More pretty damsels to save from dragons?"
"You know it." I winked.
"I'll walk you out."
As she walked me towards the front door, I imagined turning to give her a goodnight kiss. My wolf responded positively to the thought, pacing more predominately. If I was being honest with myself, I would've loved to do more than that. Bury my fingers into her soft, fragrant bob as I feel her warm frame against mine, our lips melding together and exploring every segment of skin available.
Patience is a virtue.
I focused on Cara as she led me to the door, the way she walked, the sound of her heartbeat... My smile fell as everything fell into slow motion and my hearing focused on everything around me. Something was out of place. The hair on the back of my neck stood as the rhythmic thump of another heartbeat reached my ears. I could discern Ms. Siler's, Cara's, and my own, but this one was faster, as if someone had just finished going for a run in the distance. It sounded distant for a split second, until it dawned on me that it was right in the room with us. I glanced around us, looking for any signs of an animal; a cat, a dog, a bird... anything to confirm that the heartbeat was not at all what I was thinking.
Cara opened the door for me and I turned to face her, my heartbeat picking up pace as my wolf grew restless. "Cara... You guys don't have any pets, do you?"
She seemed confused by the question, tilting her head as she leaned against the door frame. "No... Why?"
"N-no reason... I saw a cat run around here the other day and I wasn't sure if you had one and it got out."
"Oh, no." She shook her head. "No cats here. I don't think it would be wise to bring an animal into the house with Grandma the way she is."
Fuck.
"You're right. You're right." I did everything in my power to remain calm, smiling at her. "I suppose I'll see you around, then."
"I hope so." She smiled in return. I turned to leave, stopping as I heard her call out. "Embry! You're welcome over here any time."
I smiled at her over my shoulder. "I appreciate that."
"See you later, Hero."
The nickname brought a shit-eating grin to my lips as I continued to walk away. I kept my pace even, balling my fists as I struggled not to break into a full on sprint. The door shut and I listened for the sounds of Cara doing anything but looking out the window at me. I knew she would be, but I waited until I heard her climbing the stairs before darting into the trees. I shed the clothing I wore, clumsily yanking off every piece before sloppily tying my pants around my calf. I could've cared less about the rest of it as I let my wolf take over and lead me to Joseph's.
I pounded on the door between buttoning my jeans and panting from my run. I felt bad, but this is where my wolf led me and I knew Joseph was the only one I really wanted to talk to about this. He moved slowly through his house, groaning as he tried to wake himself back up.
"Embry?" He asked, wiping sleep from his eyes as he opened the door.
"She's pregnant."
