Chapter 6: Faith
Over the next few weeks, I waited rather impatiently to see whether she would be taking a trip to Port Angeles or not. I wasn't pining for the abortion, but I was hoping for a decision. Cara had finally agreed to have dinner with me, but as far as I had eavesdropped on, she hadn't made a set choice about her baby. If I had a logical explanation for how I knew, I would outright offer up my support. I couldn't discern which was worse... not knowing what choice she was going to make or pretending I didn't know. I shook my head of those thoughts as I straightened myself out, holding the bouquet of roses in one hand as I knocked on the door with the other. I had been here numerous times before and spoken to Cara, but the nerves got to me as I came to the realization that tonight was the very beginning of our imminent future together.
I could smell white tea and orange blossoms from the other side of the door, but as she opened the door I could smell faint cinnamon and a layer of peonies dancing with the orange blossom. I sighed happily as I drank her in with a close-lipped smile. She wore casual clothes; a long sleeve shirt striped with white and navy, a thicker, black sweater over that, black flats, and tan pants. Her hair was the same style she always wore it, loose and wavy to her chin, but she wore just enough makeup to give her cheeks a soft glow and her eyelashes curled to the sky. I could feel myself grinning like a kid in a toy store, proudly taking whatever I had chosen to the register. That much closer to being mine...
"Are those for me?" She smiled a bit incredulously.
"Yes." I nodded, extending them towards her.
She took them and inhaled the buds deeply as she stood aside for me to enter. "No one's gotten me flowers before..." She mumbled.
Had I not been a wolf, I would have missed it. Instead of saying anything, I swelled with pride as I stepped further into the house. Dinner permeated through the old house and Ms. Siler sat in the living room, watching a show without really processing what was happening. I didn't want to disturb Ms. Siler and opted for sitting at the kitchen table as Cara situated the bouquet in a vase. It was hard not to study her form. I could still hear the baby's heartbeat, but now her body was starting to accommodate life. Her stomach was starting to become visible and I could now hear the small swishes of the child's arms and legs fluttering in her womb. As I swelled with excitement my wolf began to stir and pace as the realization of how real this is hit me. Nonetheless, the desire to be by her side was even greater now.
I stood to accompany her as she stood over the stove, catfish crackling in the cast iron. "Smells delicious. Any way I can help?"
"Um..." She looked around before her eyes fell on a bowl on the counter. "Do you want to flatten the dough and start frying? I wasn't sure how much I needed to make, but I was... craving."
She blushed through the makeup and I couldn't help but grin. Pregnancy aside, I loved a girl with a healthy appetite. "I think you'd be surprised at how much I could eat. Takes alot to keep these muscles." I flexed my bicep through my button down, rousing a giggle from her. I wasn't buff and I didn't mind, but I did enjoy making her laugh.
"So many pretty damsels in need of rescuing, huh?"
"Of course. Someone has to do it." I grinned, placing the dough in the cast iron dutch oven.
Her hip pressed into mine as continued to cook. As if I didn't have enough body heat, her warmth radiated through me, desire pitting in my navel. Every once in a while, she would gently nudge my hip with hers, which I returned just as playfully. Testing the waters, I reached up to tuck a strand of her fragrant bob behind her ear. She blushed, closing her eyes with a soft smile. Her heart responded the same way, beating frantically as she enjoyed the touch I let linger across her cheek. I leaned forward, intent on placing a kiss on her lips... but she turned away with the plate of catfish before I could swoop in. I knew she hadn't realized what I was trying to do, but I could feel the dent in my pride nonetheless.
I finished the remaining dough and took the plate of frybread to the table. In the short span of time, she had placed the fried catfish on the table and gone to the living room to retrieve her grandmother. As Cara situated Ms. Siler, I helped prepare plates. She shredded bits of frybread onto a plate and cut up a fried fillet like you would for a child before pushing the plate towards her and handing her a fork. I noted that the elderly woman had been given plastic cutlery while Cara and I had metal. I couldn't help but wonder if there had been an incident and Cara had learned her lesson while I hadn't been around or eavesdropping.
Ms. Siler was progressively getting worse. Over the last month and a half since Cara first arrived, her symptoms seemed to worsen. Ms. Siler would fall into fits of rage, wander out of the house, her memory was too the point where she didn't recognize Cara as her granddaughter, she seemed to be reverting to a state of a child, and now she was also refusing to eat. The fits of rage are what concerned me the most... with Cara expecting, the last thing she needed was an accident. I empathized with her on the other hand. It couldn't be easy watching a family member wither away and treat you like a stranger every moment of every day. Although the meal was delicious and I easily downed a second helping, Ms. Siler took only a few bites of her fish before contenting with nibbling on her frybread. As I watched her, I prayed that my mother never ended up this way, nor myself for that matter.
Without warning, Ms. Siler pushed away from the table and stood.
"Grandma?"
"Mmm-mmm." The old woman hummed as she shook her head.
She refused to sit like a child and headed for the stereo in the living room. Johnny Mathis's voice poured from the speakers and she began to sway and spin in slow circles, holding her arms up as if she were dancing with someone. Cara started to stand, but I placed my hand on her thigh to stop her, shaking my head at her as I smiled at the sight. I knew that this was the most peace both of them had in quite a while. After a few moments, I wiped my hands on my napkin before standing. I held my hand out for Cara, to which she regarded with slight skepticism. I didn't give her a chance to question it, gently grasping her hands and hoisting her to her feet.
Next to the coffee table, I held her close. One hand settled on her hip as the other held her hand in mine, and we swayed. Cara allowed herself to relax, laying her head on my shoulder as she closed her eyes. "This is nice."
"It is, isn't it?" I smiled, resting my head on top of hers.
She hummed along with the music as we danced. Ms. Siler didn't last long on her feet and resorted to sitting in her recliner after one song. I, on the other hand, refused to let Cara go. I released her hand, causing her to lift her head. This time, I made sure her attention was on me as I tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned in for a kiss. This time she didn't turn away... her breaths came hard and shallow as she parted her lips, her eyes nearly closed as I leaned in to meet her lips. I damn near spontaneously combusted as my lips coaxed more from hers, my wolf pacing, doing death rolls, and bounding everywhere in my mind. I could hear her heart almost match the speed of her child's as she leaned into my body.
I allowed my hands to wander, sliding down the small of her back and around to squeeze her hip as I pulled her groin against mine. I slowly back us up to the couch, leaning her back after the backs of her knees hit the edge. I slipped my lips from hers to trail a line down the side of her neck and over her clothed shoulder as I hovered over her.
She pulled me closer for a moment, then softly push against my chest as she shook her head. "W-wait, wait, wait... too fast, too fast..."
"Mmm... I'm sorry." I mumbled, sitting back on one side of the couch as she adjusted herself on the opposite end, sitting back up as she smoothed down her hair. "Is it, you're grandma?"
"Yes, I mean... no." She sighed, closing her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's... complicated."
I was silent for a few moments, attempting to seem as if I had no idea what she was referring to. "Because of the decision you had to make a few weeks ago?"
"I..." She heaved a heavy sigh, nodding her head as she opened her eyes, but looked down at the floor. "Yeah..."
"Cara... I'm trying to be respectful, but I like you. I would like to get to know you better, but-"
"I know... I know..." She closed her eyes again, heaving a long and deep sigh. "I'm... pregnant..."
The last bit was almost in audible, I leaned closer as if I didn't hear her anyway. "I'm sorry?"
"I'm..." She looked up at me with an almost apologetic expression. "I'm pregnant, Embry."
I nodded, not letting my features give anything away as I pursed my lips. "And the father... is..."
"Not around." She shook her head, looking down at her stomach as she rubbed it through her shirt. "It's part of the reason I offered to take care of my grandma and moved to La Push."
I scooted a bit closer to her, resting my hand on top of hers as she held her bump. "How far along, then?"
"Three months... I think. Maybe four."
"And the decision you had to make?"
"If I was going to keep it or... not."
I nodded, squeezing her hand. The action caused her to look up at me. "I support you."
"You would still choose to be with me... even though it's not yours?"
I nodded. "Yes... I like you, a lot. And I'm willing to try."
She shook her head, sighing exasperatedly. "You truly are something special... you know that?"
I shrugged, smiling softly as I lifted my hand just above her stomach. "May I?"
She nodded, moving her hands for me. I placed my palm on her stomach, whispering in awe as my wolf paced around. Aside from the imprint, I knew this was the right choice. Every part of me wanted to be there for her as she needed... but my wolf was too the point that I didn't understand what the triggers were for the restlessness. I wanted to protect, but my wolf wanted to tear into everything around me that could possibly touch Cara. I began to see what Joseph was talking about, and a part of me felt awful for treating him the way I had a month ago.
After leaving Cara's, I went for a run through the forest to clear my head. Since there hadn't been any threats from any outsiders for so long, Sam and Jacob let up on patrols a bit more. I was able to run through the trees with my own thoughts instead of three other people's fighting to be heard. It was freeing to run through the woods... my wolf calmed down a bit, but it was still restless. I headed for the beach and dressed before sitting on the edge of the bay, staring out at the waves. I wondered how Cara felt... uprooting whatever life she had imagined for herself, only to have it all disrupted by an unplanned pregnancy.
I don't know how, but I found myself in front of the Cullen's residence. The sickly sweet scent of vampires was nauseating and the only relief was the smell of Jacob and Renesmee somewhere on the grounds. With a deep, painful sigh, I climbed the steps to the large, glass house and was shortly thereafter greeted by the petite one.
"We've been waiting for you."
"I'm... sorry?"
She shrugged nonchalantly, turning to lead me further into their home. "Bella is this way." She lead me into a large study, the walls lined top to bottom with books. "Bella? You have a visitor."
Alice let us be after Bella stood from the table. "It's spooky how she does that."
Bella chuckled as she nodded. "I agree, but you get used to it." She led me out onto the balcony, having me sit across from her in opposite chairs. "What did you need, Embry?"
"I... don't know, honestly." I sighed, sinking further into my chair. "Another viewpoint?"
"On what, exactly? I'm sure everyone else around me has much more experience that I do with almost... everything." She chuckled, lightheartedly.
"Not quite..." This piqued her interest. "What went through your head when you found out you were pregnant?"
"Whoa..." Her eyebrows rose, clearly not expecting the question. "I can honestly say that I don't think anyone has asked me that question before."
"I'm sorry. You don't have to-"
"No, no." She interrupted, shaking her head. "It's alright... just caught me off guard." She lifted herself up to sit on her leg, inhaling deeply out of reflex. "Well... I was shocked, for one. Nobody even thought it was possible, so it hadn't been on my mind... but once it happened, I think I realised that aside from being a miracle... I finally realized that I wanted Renesmee. I was ready to make whatever sacrifice necessary to become a vampire. And even though Rose had tried to convince me to remain human and have children... it didn't truly sink in until I felt that first kick, how badly I did want to be a mother."
"Do you think... if you allowed them to... take her when you got back..."
"I would have regret it." She nodded, then tilted her head as she eyed me. "Why suddenly curious?"
"I suppose you didn't hear..." I cleared my throat. "My imprint is pregnant... with somebody else's child."
"Wow!" Her eyes widened.
"Yeah... She had moved to La Push to take care of her grandmother, her dementia had gotten so bad that her options were either a home with 'round the clock care or a family member moving in..."
I proceeded to tell her the story... how I imprinted on Cara, despite her being pregnant, and how I had known for months before I was officially told tonight. I ended up speaking about more than I intended to with Bella. It was a lot easier to talk to her than I had originally assumed, and I found myself unloading my concerns like I would a close friend. Without fully realizing it, I confided in her about Joseph and how I imagined Cara's feelings are similar to what my mom must have felt when she was pregnant with me. It drudged up old feelings of betrayal about my father... how it was very likely he knew who I was now and did not step forward. I prayed that Cara was not in a similar predicament. It wasn't my intention to project my own issues onto Cara, but the situation left too much to the imagination for me.
"Do you want my honest opinion?" She smiled softly.
"Please?" I chuckled, sheepishly.
"I think that Cara should be introduced to your group, so she doesn't feel so isolated... and I think you need to go back to Joseph." She stood up and I followed suit. "As far fetched as it all sounds... is it really? Think about it... look at us, your packs, Renesmee... Who knows what else is out there or even possible?"
"You think it's all true?"
"I think it's worth it not to dismiss. I would give it true effort before brushing it off."
I nodded as she opened the front door for me, allowing me to step through before following me onto the porch. "Thank you, Bella... I appreciate you talking to me."
She smiled, my attention drawn to her blackened eyes as she nodded. "Any time. You know where to find me."
I nodded and she was gone in the blink of an eye, a breeze hitting my face in her wake. I found a hidden spot in the trees to undress and shift. Upon hearing Seth running his patrol before bed, I kept quiet as I ran for Joseph's. Seth was reciting the questions he was studying for his SAT's. I could feel a pang of jealousy as I recalled what Cara had said about choosing your own path... I knew it wasn't too late to consider college, or even a trade school. But knowing myself, I would find every excuse in the book not to do it.
Once at Joseph's cabin, I dressed and sat on a fallen tree in the tree line. The lights were on and I could smell Leah's woodsy musk, as well as see her Jeep next to Joseph's truck. I was too nervous to approach either of them... my behavior before hand was out of line and I knew Leah would have caught wind of it, since she is his apprentice. I could hear Joseph hacking from inside the house, and Leah come to his aid. Another grip in my gut rendered a sigh from my chest... I would feel even more guilty if he would take me back under his wing and he wasn't strong enough to do so. I decided that if he did, I needed to give it the best effort I had, no more excuses.
I stood and gathered my courage, stepping towards the front door. Before I could step onto the porch, the door opened and there stood Joseph... aside from the coughing fit I had heard moments ago, he looked like his normal self. His grayed hair was hanging loose around his face and over his shoulders and his pigment looked normal, save for his flushed cheeks. He didn't regard me bitterly, but we studied each other in silence before I spoke up.
"I'm ready..." I whispered, sheepishly kicking at the dirt. "I was wrong... and I'm ready to try... truly try, this time. If you'll take me back as a student..."
It took a moment, but a soft smile crossed his lips and his aged features crinkled up as his demeanor lifted and he stepped aside for me to enter. "Why don't you tell me what I've missed and I'll have Leah make us some tea."
