Epilogue is a xover with Harry Potter! 😉 (Evil grin) Umm, hope you've read or are familiar with its world and will like this, fingers crossed!
Epilogue
A JAFF Police self-inserted herself to the Pride and Prejudice's world, exactly when Elizabeth was telling Darcy about Lydia's elopement with Wickham.
"Mr. Darcy!" A shrill voice called him. "Eliza! You should leave Mr. Darcy. What an improper and bold girl! She'll compromise you, Mr. Darcy!"
"Is she like…" asked Elizabeth, surprised by seeing Caroline here.
"Yes she's like Caroline and…" Darcy's answer was cut short by JAFF police.
She pointed to Elizabeth. "I am mostly displeased with you, Miss Bennet. It's not to be borne, flirting with red coats; first with that steward's son and then Fitzwilliam! and now you are bringing into your webs a single honourable, proper man when you're alone!"
Darcy continued without hearing what she was really saying, " – and at the same time my aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh? And without ears!"
"It seems so," answered bewildered Elizabeth, all distress and thought of Lydia had fled her.
Lady Catherine commanded, "I tend to get what I want! A woman of the regency era should be like me! me! ME!" Her voice became more shrill and then she morphed into the face of Caroline. "Not whoring around like Eliza Bennet! She's whore… whore… ore…"
Both Elizabeth and Darcy, seeing the monster, fled from the house. During the run, Lizzy noticed everywhere was vacant. "Where is everyone? My uncle and aunt? Servants?"
"IT'S NOT TO BE BORNE THIS MUCH INCONSISTENCY."
Darcy was forced to shout above the hybrid voice of Lady Catherine and Caroline as it was getting louder and louder, "I think they ran off."
"THIS BOOK IS VERY SUBSTANDARD."
By the end of the story of pride and prejudice everyone fled from the book or rather hid to be far away from this monster hybrid of Carobourgh and that was how pride and prejudice never reached to our hands! Or rather was wiped off the face of the earth after that self-insert.
0o0o0o0o0
The Department of Mysteries, Ministry of Magic, Magical Britain
"Hermione, I'm not sure if it can be opened," said Harry.
"Yeah!" agreed Ron and he continued, "every time we try to open it a shrill voice of a woman screams a whole bunch of nonsense things like orders us to correct our inconsistent story."
"Her voice reminds me of Sirius' mother's. She constantly calls us names. "Whore", "Whiny writer", "disrespect to Jane Austen" –"
"By the way, who's this Jane Austen?" Asked Ron, with a confused look on his face.
She sighed at Ron's ignorance and wizarding world's, in general. "Ronald, she was one of the best 18th century novelists of Britain, well at the end of 18th." Hermione decided to lessen their anxiety over the rarest Monster book, "Carobourgh" or as Muggles said "JAFF Police". "Boys, don't worry. It's very simple. You just have to say "you're right, police!" for three times and she would leave us alone so we could have a look at the ones who hid themselves. Look."
And just as she said, it was done and the book opened and they patiently coaxed the other characters of the book to come out of their hides.
And that's how we as Muggles know only of the JAFF Police book. Anyway, what's Pride and Prejudice?! You're right, police!
End!
This silly thing came to my mind after reading comments about "what" I'm writing after posting the first chap, but I decided to post it at the end. Hopefully, it explains everything. ;)
Smoking crack I'm so high high high
So I'm writing this crack. Sigh sigh sigh,
Wish I have more free time
I wanna write something right
0o0o0
Smoking crack I'm so high high high
So I'm getting all it wrong
Not gonna come down
Smoking crack I'm so high
0o0o0
Smoking crack I'm so high high high
Not gonna come down down down
© Le Lys Dans La Vallée
But for your own sake never ever smoke or use any sort of drugs! :)
Thanks everyone for reading, following and your delightful comments. Xoxo
I laughed so much writing this! It was a fun project for me – from the first word till the end – and I'm truly happy to make you laugh. I specifically cherish every comment from you about having fun reading it. Xoxo
Thank you, "Alikeciel" for reading.
"Brenda", first thx for reading and your comments and I'm happy to make you laugh. Second LOL. You're divine! Your comments are delightful. Definitely, Georgiana would need the guidance of Lizzy with all Darcy's rakish behaviour! And Exactly! Darcy wasn't a proper man and Elizabeth was also a bold girl who chose when and where to show her boldness and sometimes her petulance and where and when not to.
The real reason for my writing this story was exactly for these kinds of reviewers who insisted that Gykinga should follow Pride and Prejudice and made lame excuses as to why she didn't follow through, but it seems they, themselves, didn't even read the book for once!
I don't have any problem with saying not liking a story umpteen times or if it has some issues, but I don't like it when they force another person to follow a rule that they didn't even do! They tell Gykinga that your Darcy, Jane or Lizzy are out of character and for proving, start saying nonsense things that weren't right about the canon. It's hypocritical of them. Or why Jane as a woman who lived in the regency era shouldn't act that way. I don't know much about the regency era, but I KNOW Pride and Prejudice and most of the things Darcy and, to a lesser extent, Elizabeth did throughout the book wasn't the way they insisted was!
Really, after reading those reviewers I learned so much from them about regency. It's no wonder Jane Austen is appreciated now more than any other time. Because she was ahead of her time! Looking at pride and prejudice now through the eyes of the JAFF police, I can see that she didn't follow the rules of her society. She tried to break them, rather radically! ;)
"QOP", thx for your comment and reading! Lol. Happy to make you laugh.
You know, sometimes we forget that If we publicly gave our opinion, we have to prepare ourselves for criticism as everyone is also free to criticise our opinions and comments however they want to. If it was private messages, then I agree that nobody should reveal those, but when me, you, them, leaving reviews on a story for all to see then others are also free to judge us. I think a few reviewers on "Dear sir" forget that!
It's all about the freedom of the media and opinion and it's not a one-way road. :) And that's why I let "guests" comment on all of my stories, without any moderation or deleting and I (always) love to cheer, "vive la liberté!" :)
0o0o0o0o0
I enjoyed writing this chap, hope you enjoyed reading it! It's one of my favourites. Which one do you find (more) interesting? I'd like to know!
#An interesting fact about Jane Austen that comes to my notice: in her younger age, she often read her stories aloud for her family, esp. the humorous ones. I'm used to reading my crack-fics aloud, particularly for my sister so I'm kinda feeling a bit connected with dear Jane Austen. Well, don't blame me for being silly. And a bit emotional? It's motivating for a newbie like me! :)
Wish we could go back in time and talk with these interesting people, sigh!
(Whispering) Likely, I'll lie low for a while 'til Carobourgh leaves us! Kiddin', wanting to focus more on the "Crown"!
Again thank ye for your awesome comments and reading!
Wish y'all a big belly laugh! ;)
Le Lys dans la Vallée
