South Park Elementary School, 4th Grade Classroom
All the students in the grade are at their desks. Red is still absent due to a sickness, so Liza Morello is still in her seat. Nelly's suspension was lifted, but she's warned that if she does anything bad to Butters again, she will get expelled.
Mr. Garrison: Alright, class. Before we get started, we have two new students joining us today. One of them is a transfer student from Mexico. And Eric, I better not hear anything offensive towards Mexicans when he gets here!
The entire class, excluding Liza, have Cartman angry glares.
Cartman: I'll keep my mouth shut.
Pip: You better.
Mr. Garrison: As for the another student, she's a transfer student from Alabama. So everyone, please welcome the two new students, Carlos Hernandez and Angela Johnson.
Carlos and Angela entered the classroom. Carlos has black hair, he wears black rectangular shaped glasses, an orange polo shirt with black shirt sleeves and green shorts with white strips. Angela has big brown hair, she wears a pink short sleeved shirt with a gray skirt.
Carlos: Hola, Amigos. My name is Carlos. I was born in Monterey, Mexico. And my family owns a phone company...
Angela: Hi, everyone! And my name is Angela, and I love ponies, magazines, animals, and... (She gasps when she saw Butters and ran towards his desk.) Oh my god! Who is this cutie?!
Butters: My name is Butters.
Angela: Butters? I love that name!
She starts hugging Butters.
Butters: Uh, you're kinda making me uncomfortable.
Angela: Don't be silly! You're gonna be my new boyfriend!
Butters: Um, I already have a girlfriend in Canada.
Angela: Sorry, but she's gonna back off and deal with us being together!
Damien: Maybe you should get married in the future!
He then bursted out laughing while Pip and Scott started to get annoyed by her.
Cartman: That girl's crazy.
Kyle: No argument there.
Mr. Garrison: Angela, get off Butters and go to your seat. It's next to Stan. And Carlos, your seat is next to Bebe.
Carlos: Thanks, teach. (Just as he was walking to his seat, all of the girls started staring at him, romantically.) Um, what are you ladies staring at?
All the 4th grade girls: You.
Carlos: Okay...
He then took his seat.
Samantha (OC): The new boy's hot.
Wendy: I know. He's really attractive.
Stan: Um, Wendy?
Wendy: Yeah, Stan?
Stan: You do realize that we're dating, right?
Wendy: I know, but he's just really cute. Don't get jealous.
PC Principal: (Through Intercom) All students, please report to the gymnasium.
Carlos: What for?
Stan: Well, let's go and see.
All of the students are in the gymnasium.
PC Principal: Okay, everyone. I have an announcement to make. Tomorrow Night, we're gonna have a talent show here in this school. The winner of the talent show gets 2 weeks off school and they'll get 500 dollars in cash.
Cartman: No skewl for two weeks?! Awesome!
Craig: I know. I don't wanna come here.
Clyde: Yeah! Who's dumb enough to like school!
Dougie: I actually like coming to school. It's awesome! You get to learn stuff, you get to read a ton of books. It's awesome! The power of learning is the greatest thing that ever existed!
Theresa: Uh oh! Nerd alert! Looks like Dougie is a school loving freak now since he spoke all of that nonsense!
Isla: Hey, Ugly Dougie! Who taught you how to love school, your mommy?
All of the kids in the gymnasium bursted out laughing at Dougie.
PC Principal: And that's 2 weeks of detention for you two girls for making fun of that poor 2nd Grader! Congratulations! And you will be working as assistants instead of competing in the talent show tomorrow!
Theresa: Ugh!
Isla: Let's give that dork a swirly after this, Theresa.
Theresa: Good idea.
PC Principal: I heard that! And now, you have 3 weeks detention!
Theresa facepalmed in anger.
Dougie: 3 weeks isn't enough. Sentence those two to a month of detention, they have to clean up after everyone when they're finished with their acts and they have to wear janitor's outfits throughout the entire show.
Theresa: Shut up, Dougie!
PC Principal: Good thinking, Dougie! Theresa and Isla, you two now have a month of a detention and as an extra punishment, each time someone is finished with their acts, you will be forced to clean up after them while wearing janitor's outfits.
Isla: What?! This is not fair!
PC Principal: What I say goes! Anyways, there are... (He noticed Theresa and Isla giving Dougie angry glares.) YOU TWO BETTER PUT THOSE GLARES AWAY OR ELSE I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BODIES!!! (Both girls stopped glaring angrily at Dougie.) Anyways, you kids are free to work together in a group or do it alone. However, you cannot copy anyone's talent. Do that and you're instantly disqualified. And also, there will not be any FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE TALENTS! IF I SEE ANYONE'S PERFORMING ANY OF THEIR ACTS IN AN INAPPROPRIATE WAY, I WILL FUCKING LOSE IT!!! NO TWERKING! NO NUDITY! NONE OF THAT!!! IF I SEE ANY OF YOU DO WHAT I JUST MENTIONED, YOU WILL HAVE DETENTION FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIVES!!! Anyways, you're all dismissed. Auditions will happen after school.
Later at lunch at the cafeteria...
Cartman: So what acts will you guys be performing at the talent show?
Stan: I'm gonna play Crimson Dawn. It's gonna be another song about my life on a stupid weed farm.
Craig: Dude, nobody wants to hear about your farm life.
Cartman: Yeah, we've heard that like a billion times.
Kyle: I'm gonna perform magic tricks and Douglas and Kenny are gonna be my assistants.
Craig: I'm just gonna perform on a rock guitar.
Tweek: I'm gonna ribbon dance.
Clyde: Lame! I'm gonna perform as a mime.
Tolkien: Nichole and I are perform the lift. We've been practicing a lot.
Jimmy: I'm gonna perform my c-c-c-comedy. What about you, Eric?
Cartman: Well, I'm gonna jump over a pool on a motorcycle. It will be just like how Evel Knievel made all of his stunts.
Kyle: I doubt that will happen.
Cartman: I'll be honoring Chef's memory since he was dressed as Evel Knievel that one Halloween.
Kyle: Yeah, right. The day you made that stunt will be the day I admit my mom is a big fat bitch.
Cartman: Wow, Kahl. You're really gonna call your mom a bitch?
Kyle: You call her a bitch all the time!
Cartman: Well, maybe because she started a war against Canada and nearly got all of us killed and ruined Christmas. Your mom is a big fat bitch.
Kyle: Stop calling my mom a bitch, you fucking hypocrite!
Douglas: Hey, Kyle. We should perform our magic tricks at recess.
Kyle: Okay, Douglas.
Carlos: Sup, amigos.
The boys gave him angry glares.
Cartman: What do you want?
Carlos: I just want to say good luck. For my talent, I'm gonna juggle a ton of shit.
Clyde: We don't care! Just stay away from our girlfriends!
Cartman: Yeah! I got the previous new girl as my girlfriend and I don't want to lose her because of you!
Carlos: Fine. I'll stay away from your fine ladies. (He then left the boys and gave out a smile.) After I'm through with all of them. Hehe.
With Butters' group...
Butters: What acts have you decided to perform?
Pip: I'm gonna play piano.
Damien: I'm gonna play basketball, but it will be the way I play it in Hell.
Dougie: I'm gonna perform science.
Damien: Yeah, cuz you're a nerd.
Scott M: Ha! Anyways, I'm gonna freestyle rap with Sophie. I asked her and she said yes.
Dougie: You know, she is really hot. Maybe I can...
Scott M: Don't even think about it, Dougie!
Butters: Yeah! Nobody wants to see you act perverted today!
Dougie: Sorry. What about you, Butters?
Butters: I'm gonna tap dance again.
Pip: What?!
Dougie: You can't be serious.
Butters: I'm sorry, but I need to. I know I'm still traumatized from that talent show a few years back, but I don't want to perform with no talent.
Dougie: Why don't you sing your Loo Loo Loo song?
Butters: I got stage fright the last time I did that.
Dougie: Well, to make sure you don't get traumatized from tap dancing again, I have developed some tap dancing shoes that cannot fly off your foot.
Butters: Really?
Dougie: Yeah. I made them for all sizes. I'll show them to you after school.
Butters: Thanks, Dougie!
Dougie: Don't mention it.
With the girls...
Wendy: So what talents will you guys perform?
Heidi: I'm gonna play violin at the talent show.
Bebe: I'm gonna perform a handstand.
Annie: A handstand? What's that?
Bebe: It's where you walk upside down, Annie.
Annie: How do you walk upside down?
Bebe: By standing on your hands, Annie! You've seen me do it before!
Annie: When did you do it?
Bebe: A few days ago! Anyways, what's your talent, Ms. I can't afford a brain?
Annie: I'm gonna be a pirate!
The girls facepalmed.
Wendy: Annie, please don't humiliate yourself.
Annie: I won't! I have Ike and his Kindergarten friends as my partners.
Nichole: Anyways, Tolkien and I are gonna do the lift dance.
Lola: Jenny and I are gonna cook a delicious meal.
Jenny: Yeah. What about you, Wendy?
Wendy: I'm gonna perform synchronized swimming with Samantha.
Samantha (OC): I'm glad you chose me as your partner. I've been practicing synchronized swimming at a few water parks I've been to.
Liza (OC): That's great! I'm gonna paint a masterpiece.
Millie: Well, I won't be performing. I was assigned to be the stage manager.
Nelly approached them.
Nelly: I'm gonna perform a boxing act.
Bebe: You know we still hate you for that prank that got Butters send to court and for what you did at the laser tag facility!
Nichole: Yeah! Get out of here, you racist bitch!
Nelly: Whatever. Fuck you whores! I hope all of your boyfriends die!
All of the girls were angry and offended by what Nelly said.
Annie: Meanie!
Bebe: She's starting to become worst than Cartman.
Wendy: Correction. She was already worst than Cartman after she framed Butters for that prank!
Liza (OC): Come on, guys. Eric's not that bad.
Samantha (OC): Not that bad?! He grounded up a kid's parents into chili and made him eat them, and he killed a ton of people with a dark lord! And did I mentioned the time he made nearly drove Jenny to suicide?
Liza (OC): Look. He may have done tons of questionable things, but I still made the right choice making him my boyfriend.
Heidi: I used to date him before you moved here. He was nice to me at first, but he became mean again and turned me into his female counterpart, thanks to some bitches not supporting me!
Wendy: We said we were sorry!
Heidi: I know, but I'm still upset about what he made me become because of you! He drove me to say things like "Wendy's a bitchy feminist, Bebe's an ugly slut, Theresa lives in a trailer park" and so on! (They were all angry) No offense.
Bebe: None taken.
Liza (OC): Look. Let's just move on from this and focus on our talents.
At the auditorium after school...
Tweek was doing his ribbon dance. However, PC Principal was not impressed.
PC Principal: Sorry, Tweek. But you missed the cut. Next!
Dougie was doing his science experiments, and PC Principal was impressed.
PC Principal: You know? We do need more science in these talent shows. You're in. Next!
Dougie: Yes!
Cartman did a stunt on a motorcycle and surprisingly stuck the landing.
PC Principal: Nice stunt, Eric. Next!
Cartman: Ha! Take that, Kyle!
Kyle made a rabbit appear out of his hat.
PC Principal: Impressive! Next!
Bebe was doing her handstand, unaware that her glasses were slipping down on her forehead.
PC Principal: That's okay, I guess? Well, it's okay for you to be in the show. Next!
Bebe: Yes! Whoa!
She fell on her back and got up.
Many acts later...
Jessie and Kal were doing the Patty cake song.
PC Principal: Awful. Just awful! Next!
Jessie: Aw!
Kal: There's nothing wrong with Patty cakes!
They both left and Heidi appeared on stage with her violin. As Heidi was auditioning, the boys approached Bebe backstage.
Stan: Can you really do a handstand?
Bebe: Of course I can! I just did it in my audition!
Cartman: Prove it.
Butters: Yeah! Prove it!
Bebe: Okay!
Clyde: Maybe you should take your new glasses off first.
Bebe: No, I'm good.
The now spectacled girl starts her handstand and began walking. She continues walking on her hands. But she didn't know that her leg got caught on the rope, which controlled one of the spotlights. She tried to get her leg untangled, but she accidentally moved the rope around, causing it to break, which made the spotlight fall on Heidi. Which horrified everyone, especially her ex boyfriend Cartman.
Bebe: HOLY SHIT!!!
Heidi was unconscious.
Dougie: I'll go take her to the nurse's office and...
Everyone: NO!!!
Dougie: Why not?!
Craig: You just want to do that so you can act super pervert!
Cartman: Yeah! You're just sick!
Dougie: Says the guy who...
Cartman: Don't bring up my past again, ginger dork!
Stan: Kenny and I will take her to the nurse's office.
PC Principal: Well, we're gonna have to get a new spotlight. And since Heidi probably got injured from that spotlight, she won't be in the talent show. Anyone who's injured cannot compete. Handicaps can still be in the talent show as long as their acts are safe. I don't want this school getting sued.
Cartman: Heidi's parents will probably sue the whole skewl, thanks to nerdy slut.
Bebe: It wasn't my fault! If you guys didn't taunt me, I never would've showed off my talent, and Heidi would still be okay!
Craig: You're just making up excuses, new nerd.
Clyde: Guys, lay off my girlfriend!
Pip: Why should we? She nearly killed Heidi!
Allie: Babe, let's just focus on our acts.
Pip: Sure thing, Allie.
Cartman: Your relationship makes us sick. The whore should've gotten a better boyfriend instead of a loser like you.
Pip: Stop calling my girlfriend a whore!
Cartman: Whore!
Pip: That's it!
Pip punches Cartman in the face.
Liza (OC): Eric!
Pip: I'm sorry about that.
Allie: You don't need to apologize. Come on, my favorite British boy. Let's go do our acts together.
The couple walked out of the auditorium.
Liza (OC): Eric, are you alright?
Cartman: I am now that you're here.
Liza (OC): I hope he didn't hurt you too bad.
Cartman: Trust me. Pip can't punch hard enough for shit.
Later that day at Heidi's house, she was sitting on her bed with a broken arm wrapped in a sling and a bandage wrapped around her head. Bebe entered her room to give her a get well soon card
Heidi: You. You killed my violin!
Bebe: It was an accident! I'm so sorry, Heidi! Look. Maybe it's not that broken.
The guitar broke into thirds, and Heidi bursted out crying.
Wendy: Sorry about your violin.
Bebe: Yeah. I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! I was trying to get untangled from that rope!
Later after Bebe left Heidi's house, she was on her back home before running into Carlos. She began flirting with him.
Bebe: Whoa. Hey there, Carlos.
Carlos: Hola, señorita. I heard about what happened with Heidi.
Bebe: I know. I feel guilty for what I've done.
Carlos: Look. Maybe she'll forget all about this.
Bebe: I don't know if she'll forgive me for what I just did to her.
Carlos: She's your friend. She'll let bygones be bygones and maybe she'll forgive you.
Bebe: You're right. Thanks, Carlos.
Carlos: You're welcome. Oh, and before you go, I have something to give you.
Bebe: What is it?
He gives Bebe a bag of potato chips.
Carlos: These are the chips from the vending machine in the cafeteria, but I got those from the store. But don't worry. If you get hungry before your act tomorrow, I'll get some for you.
Bebe: Thanks. I actually need these. I've been stress eating lately and I needed some food really badly.
Carlos: You're welcome. Anyways, see you at the talent show! (Bebe leaves and heads towards her house.) See you tomorrow, indeed.
He begins chuckling.
Tegridy Farms, the barn.
Stan was rehearsing with his new band members Nate, Daniel and Brimmy.
Stan: You guys are actually going good. I'm impressed!
Nate: Yeah, but I have a question. Why didn't you have your other band members rehearse with you?
Stan: They all had their own acts to perform. Anyways, a one, two, three!
They played their rock song again.
In the farmhouse...
Randy: I hope Tegridy Farms is sponsoring the talent show at Stan's school tomorrow.
Sharon: Randy, nobody cares about your weed.
Randy: Yes they do, Sharon!
Towelie: Yeah, quit being a hater!
Sharon: (Sighs)
The next night, the Talent show was about to begin. All of the adults were ready to see their children show off their amazing talents.
Randy: Do I have to be here?
Sharon: Yes, Randy! Stan and his band are performing, so you need to support him more than your stupid marijuana business!
Randy: Ugh. Fine. Oh, wait a second! I'll be right back!
Backstage
Everyone who made into the talent show are ready to perform their acts. Everyone else who didn't make it decided to be backstage to help their friends prepare.
Annie: Aw! How come I didn't make it into the show?
Daniel: Babe, did it ever occur to you that the reason why you didn't make it is because PC Principal didn't want you to get humiliated?
Annie: Uh...
Samantha (OC): Don't answer that question.
Millie: Okay, guys. I'm the stage manager, so you need to do what I say. When PC Principal calls your name, you go on stage and perform your talent. And no stealing anyone's talents!
Wendy: We know that, Millie.
She was wearing a pink onesie swimsuit with a pink swim cap.
Dougie: Hey, Wendy. I really like your swimsuit. Let me guess, your talent is swimming.
Samantha (OC): Synchronized swimming actually. I've been practicing with her.
Dougie: Cool. Anyway, Wendy. Do you wanna...
Wendy: No! Go away, you little pervert!
Dougie: Please take it off.
Wendy: I am not taking off my swimsuit, Dougie! Stop being such a fucking pervert!
Stan: Yeah! Stop trying to get with my girlfriend!
Dougie: Fine. By the way, you should have your girlfriend swim in a bikini next time she does this.
Wendy: I'm gonna beat your fucking ass if you don't stop!
Samantha (OC): I'll take care of this. Dougie, stop being perverted towards my friends! You know they hate you for always stalking them.
Dougie: I am not a stalker. I just really love hot girls. I mean I do have a step sibling who is a hot girl.
Samantha (OC): That's enough! I get that I'm hot, but that doesn't mean you can act like a fucking pervert, especially towards your own step sister!
Annie: You guys are siblings and you step on each other?
Everybody facepalmed.
Wendy: No, Annie! They don't step on each other. Look, if your mom married someone else's dad, you will have a step sibling. It doesn't involve stepping on anybody.
Annie: Oh.
PC Principal: Okay, everybody. We have our first act of the night. Presenting Kyle Broflovski!
Kyle: (While the audience is applauding) Wish me luck, guys! Come on, Kenny and Douglas.
Both of them followed Kyle. Cartman was about to boo him before Theresa and Isla grabbed him. They were wearing janitor outfits.
Cartman: What do you want?
Theresa: We need you to do something for us.
Cartman: No.
Isla: We didn't tell you what it was.
Cartman: Fine. What is it? And what's with the fake mustaches?
Theresa: Don't ask! Look, we need you to tell us where the science lab is! We want to sabotage Ugly Dougie's science experiment for getting us in trouble.
Cartman: What do I get out of it?
Isla: We have two tickets to the new Sonic The Hedgehog movie for you and Liza, and we'll give them to you if you tell us where the science lab is.
Cartman: It's in one of the trailers in the playground. I mean Theresa, you lived in a trailer your whole life.
Theresa: Call my house a trailer again, and I'm shredding the tickets!
Cartman: Fine.
Theresa: PC Principal had us deliver your stuff for your talents, and that includes your motorcycle. He didn't ask us to get Ugly Dougie's experiments yet.
Cartman: Okay. When he asks you, that's when you get them.
Isla: Okay.
Cartman walked away and watched Kyle's act.
Kyle: Okay. For this next trick, we're gonna do the sawing in half trick. Now watch as my assistant Kenny demonstrates.
Kenny got in the magic box and Douglas closes it. Kyle then saws the box in half. However, blood came out and scared the audience. Kyle separates the two parts.
Douglas: Um, Kyle?
Kyle: Now watch as I put the box back together.
That's what he did, but Kenny didn't respond.
Douglas: He's dead.
Kyle: What?!
Cartman: Ha! I knew he was gonna mess up!
Liza (OC): Babe!
Cartman: Sorry, sweetie.
Dougie: You should...
Liza (OC): I'm not breaking up with him.
Dougie: Okay.
Douglas: Oh my god! You killed Kenny.
Kyle: I'm a bastard!
The judges gave Kyle a 1 and 2 0s while the audience booed. Kyle, Douglas and the now dead Kenny returned backstage. Gerald pulled out his phone and is about to troll the audience.
Sheila: Don't even think about it.
Cartman: You know, maybe you should find a better talent!
He bursted out laughing until Stan kicked him in the balls.
Stan: Your act was amazing, Kyle.
Kyle: Thanks, Stan.
PC Principal: Okay! Our 2nd act of the night is another group. Presenting Jenny Simons and Lola Yates!
Lola: That's up!
Jenny: Let's go show off our cooking skill!
Jessie: You can do it, hairstyle twin!
Lola: Please don't call me that.
She and Jenny went to the stage.
Harrison: Maggie, that's our daughter up there.
Maggie: I know! You go, Lola!
Harrison Yates is Lola's dad in my stories. Anyways, back to the story.
Jenny: Hi, everyone! For our talent, we're gonna bake a delicious cake. We hope you enjoy it.
They started to put the ingredients in the bowl. Lola cracked the eggs. Jenny pours the milk inside the bowl. Afterwards, they added all of the remaining cake ingredients inside the bowl one at a time. They put the cake in a oven and after a few minutes, the cake was finished. It was taken out of the oven and It was revealed to be a vanilla cake. They added green frosting around the cake.
Lola: Ta-da!
Cartman: Oh my god that cake looks amazing.
Kyle: Yeah. I'd sure like a slice of that!
The two girls gave a judge a slice of cake. The judges were amazed by their cooking and gave them a 10, a 9 and an 8, with means that their score was 27. They returned back stage. They gave everyone else a slice. Even Cartman got a slice.
Pip: This cake tastes amazing!
Dougie: I know! It's so good!
Butters: You guys should make cakes more often.
Lola: Thanks!
Randy appeared with a Tegridy Farms shirt.
Randy: Stan, I need you to put this on for your performance.
Stan: What?! No! I'm not wearing that shirt again!
Randy: You need to wear this shirt. You need to promote the family business!
Stan: I don't care about your stupid business, dad! In fact, nobody cares about your stupid business!
Randy: Fine! Then no performing!
Stan: What?!
Randy: No performing if you don't were this shirt!
Dougie: Ha! What a daddy's boy, am I right?
Cartman: Shut up, Dougie. You sound like your slutty sister.
Everyone backstage bursted out laughing, and Samantha punches Cartman.
Samantha (OC): Don't call me a slut!
Cartman: Okay, nerdy bitch.
Samantha (OC): Don't call me a bitch either!
Cartman: Okay, four-eyed whore.
Samantha (OC): I'm gonna break your fatass into a million pieces if you call me one more bad name!
Cartman: I'm not fat, hoe!
Dougie: Don't call my sister a hoe!
Cartman: Shut up, perverted nerd.
Everyone laughed.
Liza (OC): Eric, you should probably stop.
Cartman: Okay. Anything for you, sweetie.
Randy: Enough of that. (He puts the shirt on Stan.) Promote the family business with your act.
He then left.
Stan: I hate this farm so much.
Cartman kicks Stan in the balls.
Cartman: Stop with the fucking farm rants!
PC Principal: Okay! For our third act, we have Tolkien Black and Nichole Daniels doing a move called the lift. And Theresa and Isla, go to the science lab trailer and get Dougie's experiments!
Isla: Let's go.
The two girls dressed as janitors left to get (and sabotage) Dougie's science experiments.
Nichole: Wish us luck, guys!
Dougie: Good luck, Tolkien and the hottie!
Wendy smacks Dougie in the face.
Wendy: Shut up, perverted nerd!
Nichole: Yeah, you racist little pervert! Come on, babe.
Tolkien: Wish us luck!
They both entered the stage.
Nichole: Are you ready? Because I'm about to start running.
Tolkien: I'm ready.
Nichole started running and when she got close, Tolkien grabbed her and lifts her up, which made the audience applauded in excitement. The judges gave them a 10, a 7 and an 8, which makes their score 25.
Steve: Congrats, Tolkien!
William: We're so proud of you, Nichole!
Linda B: Our kids are amazing.
Mrs. Daniels: I know.
They both returned back stage.
Stan: That was awesome!
Kyle: Nice one, you guys!
Wendy: Yeah.
Tolkien: Thanks, guys.
Bebe was eating her chips that Carlos gave her.
Bebe: Congrats!
Wendy: Um, Bebe. You shouldn't be eating those chips before it's your turn.
Bebe: I'll be fine, Wendy.
Carlos: Hey, Bebe. I have the last 4 bags of chips with your name on it.
Bebe: Wow! Thanks, Carlos! Where did you get these?
Carlos: I got them from the vending machine from the cafeteria.
Bebe: Thanks, Carlos! Clyde never get me chips!
Clyde: That's because they'll endanger your health.
He is wearing a mime outfit.
Bebe: Tacos endanger your health and you eat them anyway. Thanks, Carlos.
Carlos: You're welcome, señorita.
Bebe opens one of the bags of chips, but she didn't know that the chips were expired and starts scarfing them down.
PC Principal: Our next performer is Carlos Hernandez, who is one of our newest students.
Carlos: Wish me luck.
Girls: We will!
Angela: Ugh. What's so special about him? My Butterbear is way better.
Butters: Please get away from me.
Carlos entered the stage and starts juggling numerous items. After a full minute, he was done and got a perfect score. He then returned backstage.
Meanwhile...
Theresa: Okay. All we have to do is do something to this loser's experiments.
Isla: Wait. I just realized something. If we do something terrible to these and get caught, we'll be no better than Nelly and Cartman.
Theresa: You're right. I hate the dork, but that doesn't seem right. I don't want PC Principal to give us more punishments. Let's just give it to him. Let's get a box and put these in.
Isla: Okay.
Back at the talent show...
PC Principal: Okay, everyone. Our next act is the sweetest and most innocent kid in South Park, Butters Stotch.
Angela: You go, Butterbear!
Pip: Go face your fears!
Dougie: The shoes I developed will make sure another tap dancing incident doesn't happen. Go out there and shine!
Kyle: Go kick ass, Butters!
Stan: You can do it!
Cartman: Go give 'em hell out there!
Nelly: I hope you fall of the stage and die, you stupid freak!
Everyone gave Nelly angry glares.
Francis: I don't regret dumping you.
Nelly: You'll take me back one day.
Francis: No I won't.
Butters entered the stage with a radio.
Butters: Hey, everyone. Long ago, I was the tap dancing kid who's shoe killed a bunch of people, and to the victims, I'm really sorry. This dance is for you. And to make sure another incident like that doesn't happen again, my friend made sure these shoes are tight enough to stay on my feet. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this.
Linda S: I'm ready to call another therapist.
Stephen: Save your battery, and if things gets shitty like the last time he did this, that's when you call them.
Butters: Okay. Here goes.
(Play "Song of the Heart" by Prince for this section and skip to 0:12.)
Butters starts tap dancing nervously and then he noticed the looks on everyone's faces. He continues tap dancing hoping to impress everyone. As soon as the song reached the 1:31 mark, the audience began cheering. Butters was smiling and continues tap dancing though each and every rhythm of the song, which made everyone happy. They all clapped to the rhythm. Everyone backstage, excluding Nelly who was angry and unimpressed, were all clapping to the rhythm. As the song progresses, Butters continues to tap dance like he never tap dance before. The audience continued clapping and cheering for Butters. The young boy was really happy. The only one who was not impressed was Nelly because she hated him with a fiery passion and wanted him to fall off the stage.
Kelly P: Come on, hairstyle twin! Clap along!
Nelly: I am not your hairstyle twin.
At the 3:16 mark, Butters continues to tap dance in memory. The screen played the Prince's Purple Rain video. The lighting turned purple as everyone was in awe that Butters' performance was a tribute to Prince. The scene cuts to outside of the school and all of South Park turned purple in Prince's Honor. Back in the school, Cartman was crying in joy.
Cartman: I LOVE YOU, PRINCE!!!
Heidi: Normally, you hate everybody.
Cartman: Don't ruin this, ex-babe.
Heidi: Okay.
The song ends and Butters was finished. Everyone applauded and the judges all gave Butters a 10. Butters was happy that he got a perfect score. He ran backstage and everybody except Nelly was applauding.
Pip: That was amazing, Lad!
Dougie: Yeah! Nice one, Butters!
Cartman: Nice Prince tribute, man. I really loved him!
Butters: Thanks, everyone.
Angela: That was so amazing, Butterbear!
She began hugging him really hard.
Butters: Thanks. Please get off me!
Nelly: I hope she hugs you to death! Literally! Your performance sucked!
She was wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt, red shorts and white boxing gloves.
Cartman: You're a fucking bitch for hating this! He was awesome out there!
Nelly: My performance will top his, you fat fuck!
Cartman: Don't call me fat, bitch!
PC Principal: Okay. So far, we have two kids with perfect scores. So the next act belongs to Nelly.
The audience booed.
Nelly: Fuck them too. Wish me luck, guys.
Damien: Why should we? We hate you.
Nelly: Fuck off, dorky demon!
Damien was about to strangle her.
Jenny: Babe, don't get angry. Remember what your therapist said.
Damien: Fine.
She entered the stage while holding a punching bag. She then puts a yellow wig that looks just like Butters' hairstyle on the punching bag.
Nelly: For my act, I'm gonna beat the crap out of this punching bag. (She then starts punching the bag extremely hard multiple times. She pictured the punching bag as Butters. She continues punching it over and over again until it was destroyed. She then took off her boxing gloves and then grabbed the punching bag, imagining herself choking Butters.) That's right! Take that, you freak! You're gonna wish you never came into my life! I hope your parents ground you for life and you starve to death with no food and water! I hate you, Butters! I HATE YOU!!!
PC Principal walked up to her.
PC Principal: Nelly, you're disqualified! You're not supposed to destroy your materials or say hateful stuff about your fellow competitors! You are fucking out of here!
The audiences booed Nelly and she was shocked and angry. She then flipped off everyone and returned backstage and everyone was giving her angry glares. She ignored them and walked towards Butters and punches him, which shocked everyone. She was about to punch him again until Wendy, Lola and Jenny grabbed her.
Wendy: Nelly, why are you making things worse for yourself?!
Jenny: Yeah! You need to let things go!
Nelly: Never! I'm gonna kill that freak if it's the last thing I do!
Cartman pulled out a taser and jabs Nelly with it, electrocuting her and knocking her out. Everyone gave Cartman a glare.
Cartman: What? That bitch was getting on my nerves.
Scott M: That still doesn't mean you can use that taser on her!
Cartman: (Mocking Scott) "That still doesn't mean you can use that taser on her! I'm Scott Malkinson. I've got diabetes."
Everybody except Sophie and Liza bursted out laughing.
Scott M: Fuck all of you! Not you, Sophie.
Liza (OC): Babe, please.
Cartman: Sorry, sweetie.
Nelly's parents entered the backstage and Matt grabbed his daughter's hand.
Matt: You're in big trouble, young lady! As soon as you wake up, we're gonna think of more punishments to add to your grounding time!
He then dragged his daughter's unconscious body out of everyone's sight.
Montage
Everyone else who made it into the talent show and did their performances. Stan did his rock band, the judges gave him a 5, and two 3s, which gave him an 11, Cartman did his stunt and surprisingly made it, which gave him a perfect score, Pip did his piano solo, which gave him a perfect score, and so on. And now, it was Dougie's turn. He did his science experiments, which impressed everyone and he got a perfect score. Everyone continues doing their acts with some getting good scores and other getting bad scores and it was down to 4 people.
End of Montage
PC Principal: Okay, everyone. I know you guys are really excited for the end of this talent show, but now, we have 4 acts remaining. For this next act, we have Scott Malkinson and Sophie Gray doing a freestyle rap.
Clark: Oh boy.
Ellen: Clark, please support him. He's not a baby anymore.
Clark: I don't care.
Scott and Sophie entered the stage wearing freestyle rap clothes.
Sophie: Hi, everyone. Scott and I are gonna do perform a rap song. I hope you enjoy.
(Play "O.P.P" by Naughty by Nature for this section.)
Scott M (Rapping): Army with harmony
Dave drop a load on 'em
OPP, how can I explain it
I'll take you frame by frame it
To have y'all jumpin' shall we singin' it
O is for Other, P is for People scratchin' temple
The last P... well... that's not that simple
It's sorta like another way to call a cat a kitten
It's five little letters that are missin' here
You get on occassion at the other party
As a game 'n it seems I gotta start to explainin'
Bust it
Sophie (Rapping): You ever had a girl and met her on a nice hello
You get her name and number and then you feelin' real mellow
You get home, wait a day, she's what you wanna know about
Then you call up and it's her girlfriend or her cousin's house
It's not a front, F to the R to the O to the N to the T
It's just her boyfriend's at her house (Boy, that's what is scary)
It's OPP, time other people's what you get it
There's no room for relationship there's just room to hit it
How many brothers out there know just what I'm gettin' at
Who thinks it's wrong 'cos I'm splittin' and co-hittin' at
Well if you do, that's OPP and you're not down with it
But if you don't, here's your membership
Scott M (Rapping): You down with OPP
Sophie (Rapping): Yeah you know me
Scott M (Rapping): You down with OPP
Sophie (Rapping): Yeah you know me
Scott M (Rapping): You down with OPP
Sophie (Rapping): Yeah you know me
Scott M (Rapping): Who's down with OPP
Sophie M (Rapping): Every last homie
Scott M (Rapping): You down with OPP
Sophie (Rapping): Yeah you know me
Scott M (Rapping): You down with OPP
Sophie (Rapping): Yeah you know me
Scott M (Rapping): You down with OPP
Sophie (Rapping): Yeah you know me
Scott M (Rapping): Who's down with OPP
Sophie (Rapping): All the homies
The music stopped.
PC Principal: You two are disqualified!
Scott M: What?
PC Principal: You two copied a talent, which was Stan's! He sung earlier and since rapping is technically singing, you broke the rules by copying a talent! Sorry, but no two week break for you two!
Scott M: Aw man! Sophie, I'm so sorry I got both of us disqualified.
Sophie: It's okay, Scott. At least I had fun.
They both returned backstage.
Dougie: That was a sick performance.
Scott M: Thanks, Dougie.
PC Principal: Okay, our third to last act of the night, Bebe Stevens with her handstand act.
She gave Wendy the last empty bag of chips.
Bebe: I'm up! Wish me luck, you guys!
Her stomach was rumbling heavily.
Wendy: Are you sure you're ready to do this?
Nichole: Yeah. It's not too late to back out.
Bebe: Guys, I've got this. Just because my stomach is growling doesn't mean I can't show off my talent.
Carlos: She's right. Good luck, señorita.
Bebe: Thanks, Carlos. (She pushed his glasses back enough so they wouldn't fall down in her forehead, gets up on two hands and enters the stage.) Wish me luck, guys!
Wendy: Something bad's gonna happen in the next few seconds. I just know it.
Carlos (Thinking): Right you are, Wendy. After her performance, my plan will be in action.
Bebe entered the stage while doing her handstand. Her stomach was rumbling again and she burped. The judges were confused and whispered in each other's ears. Bebe burped again, but this time, due to all the expired chips she ate, vomit comes out of her mouth, which disgusted the audience and everyone backstage. Bebe groans and starts throwing up everywhere, which horrified her friends. Her vomit hits Randy.
Randy: AH! OH MY GOD!
She threw up again, but this time it hits backstage and got all over Jessie and Kal. Kal screams in horror and vomits on Jessie. Bebe continues throwing up all over everyone in the audience. She then vomits all over the judges, and they are disgusted and angry at the same time. Bebe was groaning again and vomits all over Stan, Kyle and Cartman.
Cartman: AW SICK!
Stan: OKAY, THIS IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING!
Bebe continued vomiting left and right all over the walls and all over a couple of people in the audience.
Pip: What the fuck is going on?!
Damien: I don't know, but this is fucking disgusting!
Clyde was witnessing her girlfriend on stage vomiting everywhere. He was getting upset.
Clyde: Bebe... How did this happen?
Bebe vomits hard again and it was about to hit Clyde before Douglas pushed him out of the way and Bebe's chunks of puke hits him instead.
Douglas: Gross!
Bebe vomits one last time, but this time, it hits PC Principal and boy was he angry. She then slips on her puke and fall off the stage. She got up and held her stomach and vomits all over the floor, which disgusted everybody around her. She continues to retch uncontrollably while her parents came to her aid. And now, almost the entire auditorium was covered in puke.
Mrs. Stevens: Bebe! Sweetie, are you okay?
Bebe: (Groaning) I don't feel good.
Mr. Stevens: It's okay. Mommy and daddy are here.
PC Principal: You are so disqualified big time for this! I said nothing inappropriate during your act, and you just had to barf everywhere!
Bebe: (Groaning as her stomach growled again) Oh...
PC Principal: As soon as you're done, I'm gonna sentence you to...
Bebe vomits all over him again before he had a chance to finish his sentence.
Mr. Stevens: Bebe, what's causing you to puke uncontrollably?
Bebe: Those chips I ate earlier.
Mrs. Stevens: Well, you won't be having any more chips for a while. Come on, honey. Call 911 so they can take her to the hospital.
Mr. Stevens: I was calling them while she was puking everywhere. They should be arriving shortly.
Mrs. Stevens: Sweetie, it's gonna be okay. Let's go get you to the ambulance.
Bebe slowly followed her parents while holding her stomach with one hand and covering her vomit covered lips with another.
PC Principal: Okay, everyone. Due to the disgusting moment that happened just now, we're gonna have a brief intermission until this mess is cleaned up. So to everybody covered in vomit, please head to the school locker rooms and wash yourselves off. Theresa and Isla, clean up this mess or you're suspended!
Theresa and Isla walked onto the stage with a bunch of cleaning supplies. They noticed 5 large vomit puddles all over the stage and a bunch of Bebe's vomit all over the walls, seats and floors. Part of it got on the ceiling as well. They were both disgusted and they took out their mops.
Theresa: (Sighs) Let's get this over with.
Bebe and her parents continued walking in order to get to the entrance of the school. As soon as they reached the end of the hallway leading to the entrance, she vomits all over the hallway floor and was coughing afterwards.
Mr. Stevens: It's gonna be okay, sweetie. Just hang on.
An ambulance was outside the school with a stretcher out. All of Bebe's classmates and some kids from different grades exited the school to see their friend about to go to the hospital.
Mrs. Stevens: Will our daughter be okay?
Medic #1: She's gonna be fine, ma'am. Just don't worry. We'll provide you with updates and see how she's doing. Young lady, get in the stretcher.
He was unaware that Bebe's face was green all over.
Bebe: (Groaning) Ok-
She starts vomiting again. She gets on the stretcher and vomits all over the medics. She starts vomiting everywhere again while her friends looked on in sadness. Clyde was upset that his girlfriend was about to be taken to the hospital.
Wendy: Wow. Poor Bebe.
Nichole: We warned her and she didn't listen. I hope she gets better soon.
Annie: She brought this on herself for eating too much.
Everyone gave Annie angry glares.
Annie: What? She should've stop scarfing down those chips when she had the chance.
Daniel: I am this close to dumping you.
Annie: Please don't.
Medic #2: Alright, children. Nothing to see here. We know you're worried about your friend, but you have to let us try to help her. Go back into the school, finish your talent show and let us do our job.
Kyle: Okay, sir.
The kids headed back into the school as Bebe was loaded onto the ambulance. She slowly got up and noticed Carlos waving and smiling evilly at her. Bebe starts panicking and vomits all over the ambulance doors and then starts to lose consciousness. The medics came to her aid, took off her glasses, began to put the aerosol mask on her face, and have her hooked up on life support. All of the South Park kids were inside and they were all upset that their friend is on her way to the hospital.
Cartman: Is Bebe gonna be alright, you guys?
Pip: Why the fuck do you care all of a sudden?!
4th Grade classroom
The girls are upset due to the fact that their friend is now in the hospital.
Annie: Guys? Is Bebe gonna die?
They all gave her angry glares.
Wendy: No she's not gonna die, Annie! She'll be okay.
Annie: But she was puking everywhere!
Nichole: We know, but I don't think a bunch of chips can kill a single person. They can kill someone with diabetes, but not a normal person.
Kelly P: So, what's gonna happen? Are the gonna cancel the rest of the talent show?
Wendy: No. You know what they say. The show must go on. It's what Bebe would've wanted. And so would Red if she didn't get sick the other day.
Annie: Red is dead?!
Wendy: No! She's still alive, Annie! She just has a cold.
Annie: Oh.
Kelly P: Nice rhyme by the way.
Annie: Thanks.
Samantha (OC): Bebe would want us to do our acts, even though me, Wendy and Clyde are the only ones who haven't done ours. The three of us should do this for our friend!
Wendy: Samantha's right. We need to do this.
Dougie entered the classroom.
Dougie: Hey, do you girls have a minute?
Nichole: Oh no! You're not gonna start perving on us at a time like this!
Dougie: No really! It's important! It's about the chips Bebe ate! They were expired.
Samantha (OC): Really? Well, baby bro, go ahead and show us.
Dougie: Okay, and don't call me that again!
He pulls out the destroyed bag, which showed the expiration date.
Lola: Wait. The chips she ate expired last month?!
Dougie: Yeah. Apparently, all of the snacks that were in the vending machine in the cafeteria expired last month. That's what caused Bebe to puke everywhere. She ate expired chips.
Wendy: Of course! If you eat too much expired food, it could either kill you or make you extremely sick! Thanks for telling us, Dougie.
Dougie: You're welcome. And since I told you, can you all reward me with a kiss?
The girls threw Dougie out of the classroom.
Dougie: Ungrateful bitches.
Girls: We heard that!
Clyde was walking down the hallway, worried about his girlfriend. He sat down and worried how he'll do his act, knowing that his girlfriend is in the hospital.
Clyde: Bebe, I hope you get well soon.
Cartman: Hey, Clyde. Got a minute?
Clyde: Sure.
Cartman sat next to Clyde.
Cartman: So, what's wrong?
Clyde: Bebe is in the hospital and I'm a bit worried.
Cartman: Yeah...
Clyde: Why did you ask is she gonna be okay if you don't like her?
Cartman: I was a bit worried about her. That's all.
Clyde: But all you do is insult her and call her a bitch and a slut.
Cartman: Yeah, but maybe she'll make it. I mean chips can't kill anyone. Unless they're expired or if someone has diabetes like Scott.
Clyde: Yeah. I hope she gets better.
Cartman: Me too. (Clyde gave him a glare.) What? Just because I'm a psychopath doesn't mean I'm heartless! I have a heart, you know!
Clyde: Tell that to all of your past victims. I don't care for the Ugly Dougling, but everything else you did to so many others was messed up. Maybe we'll like you more if you weren't such a sadistic psychopath to everybody you see.
Cartman: I already tried being nice back in 2016, but it didn't work.
Clyde: Maybe it's because everyone believed that you're irredeemable because of all of the horrible things you did. Shooting Tolkien, giving Kyle aids, killing someone's parents and making him eat them, killing a ton of people with Cthulhu, hijacking a race car and taking it on a joyride, which killed a couple of people.
Cartman: Okay, I get it! I'm not a perfect angel, okay? Maybe if I'm with Liza, I'll try become a better person.
Clyde: Dude, even if you apologize to everyone, start being nice and change your horrible attitude, nobody's ever gonna forgive you. Even Pip hates you now. Trust me, you have a massive way to go before you're forgiven for all of your bad deeds.
Cartman: But I've done some good things.
Clyde: Your bad deeds overlap your good deeds. Trust me, since everyone's started to hate Nelly more than you, you might have a shot at redeeming yourself.
Cartman: You know. Maybe you're right. Good talk, Clyde.
He walked away.
Meanwhile, Theresa and Isla were still serving their punishment for picking on Dougie. They were lucky that they cancelled their plans on ruining Dougie's science act, otherwise they'll be punished ever harder and even longer. And now, both girls are almost finished cleaning up Bebe's vomit.
Theresa: This is the worst.
Isla: I know. No matter how many times we bully that little dork, he never learns his lesson and always gets us in trouble.
Theresa: Yeah. Not to mention that my mom was beating me with her belt when she heard about that.
Isla: That's awful! I got off easy, even though all I got was a bunch of yelling and was forced to do chores around the house.
Theresa: Yeah. Maybe we should stop bullying the little runt so we can stop getting in trouble.
After a short silence, both girls laughed.
Isla: Good one, Theresa!
Theresa: I know!
They continued laughing.
Isla: Let's just finish cleaning before PC Principal gets mad.
Theresa: Good idea.
30 minutes later...
The entire auditorium was all cleaned up, the puke smells are gone, and the talent show was back on.
PC Principal: Alright, everyone. Since Bebe got disqualified for regurgitating everywhere, and since the judges were disgusted by her performance, they all gave her negative 10, meaning that she got negative 30 points. And I was told that she was taken to the hospital, so let's keep her in our prayers and hope she can make a quick recovery. And as they say, the show must go on. So for our next act, it's Clyde Donovan with his mime act.
Clyde: Wish me luck, guys.
Craig: Good luck, Clyde.
Clyde entered the stage doing his mime tricks, such as pretending to be in a box, pretending to grab a rope and pretending to climbing a ladder. After he did the rest of the mime tricks, he finished.
Roger: Nice one, Clyde! I bet your mother's smiling at you in heaven right now!
In heaven...
Clyde's Mom was not happy.
Betsy: Mimes are so old school.
Chef: Come on. Be happy for your son.
Betsy: No way! Not after he got me killed by not putting down the toilet seat like I told him too!
Satan: Bitch.
The judges each gave Clyde a 7, which totaled his score to 21. He returned backstage.
Stan: That was amazing, Clyde.
Clyde: Thanks.
PC Principal: Okay, for our last act of this talent show, we have 2 girls who are some of our top students. Please welcome Wendy Testaburger and Samantha Davis.
Dougie: Good luck out there, step-sis.
Samantha (OC): Thanks. Come on, Wendy.
They both entered the stage and a large inflatable pool with water is on the stage.
Wendy: For our act, we're gonna synchronize swim.
Samantha (OC): Hope you enjoy.
Both girls got in the pool and performed numerous synchronized swimming dance moves. The crowd was impressed and applauded. The judges gave them a perfect score. Everybody was applauding as both girls returned backstage.
Stan: That was awesome!
Kyle: Yeah! Good job, girls!
Wendy: Thanks, guys!
PC Principal: Okay everyone. Since it's about to be midnight due to that really long intermission, we have decided that we won't do a tiebreaker to determine the winner because we're all really tired. So Carlos Hernandez, Eric Cartman, Butters Stotch, Pip Pirrup, Dougie O'Connell, Wendy Testaburger and Samantha Davis have all won the talent show. They will split the 500 dollar prize and will have 2 weeks off school.
Cartman: Yes! No skewl for 2 weeks!
Dougie: I hope it doesn't affect my perfect attendance record.
PC Principal: Oh, and just because some of the winners will have 2 weeks off school does not mean it will affect their perfect attendance records. Their perfect attendance records will still stand even if they have a 2 week break by winning.
Dougie: Oh thank god!
PC Principal: We hope you enjoyed this talent show. I'll see you all at the next talent show. Or if one of your kids get in trouble.
Butters: So since we're splitting the prize money in 7 ways, how much would we each get?
Cartman: How should I know?
Dougie: We each get 71 dollars and 42 cents.
Pip: Really?
Dougie: Yes. If there is 500 and you divided it by 7, it equals 71.42. So that means since the prize money is 500 dollars and all seven of us won the talent show, we will each get 71 dollars and 42 cents.
Carlos: That makes since. Thanks, little amigo.
Dougie: You're welcome.
Wendy: So, I guess we won't be show off our talents until the next talent show.
Cartman: Well, I'm tired. Catch you guys later.
Wendy: Hold it! We still need to get our 71 dollars and 42 cents!
Cartman: Thanks for reminding me!
After the seven children got their prize money, everybody went home.
The next day...
Bebe was in a hospital room hooked up on life support due to her projectile vomiting at the talent show. Clyde entered her room with some flowers and a get well soon card.
Clyde: Bebe, I know you can't hear me since you're on life support, but I just really want you to get well soon. I really love you and it really saddens me that you're in this state. I hope you get better and recover from this sickness you currently have. I love you so much and it's really painful to see you in this current state. (He puts the flowers on her bed and put the card on the table beside it and is about to exit the room.) Get well soon, Bebe.
He closes the door with tears in his eyes.
