"I love you too."
The words were whispered so quietly against Jay's lips that he could practically feel them. They sank into him and settled somewhere in the pit of his stomach.
Hailey loved him.
It shouldn't have taken him by surprise, but it most certainly did. And so, like she had done, he reached up to kiss her.
He had felt like she loved him for a while now, but especially today. She'd so willingly accepted every part of him that it couldn't have been anything but love. It felt really good – even better than he'd expected.
She laughed softly against him and whispered, "Are we going to kiss every time we say it?"
"Do you want to try it out?" he asked without thinking as a smirk formed on his lips.
Hailey laughed harder and shook her head before kissing him once more.
Pulling her down on top of himself, Jay shifted up on the couch and slid his hand into her hair. Hailey moaned softly, parting her lips while curling her hand against the back of his neck.
Weeks before, Jay had imagined that when he'd kiss Hailey, he wouldn't be able to think of anything else but her. How she felt, how she moved, even how she smelt…all of it would fade away because Hailey would be there with him, and he'd finally be able to act on his feelings.
Now, though, his mind was swimming. Hailey's hair was so soft - he couldn't get enough of it and continued dragging his fingers through it. Her hips were moving slowly against his as her own fingers played with his hair in turn. She smelt like a bottle of vanilla, but also like the caramel from her pecan pie. It was overwhelming in the best way. She was all over him and he never wanted it to end.
"I love you," he breathed against her.
"I love you too," she whispered back. Her hands slid to his front before slipping down to the bottom of his t-shirt. Her fingers felt cool against his stomach as she lightly tugged at the green fabric that had started this entire evening. As it was tossed over the couch, Jay never felt as grateful as he had been for that shirt. He hadn't been one to use his past in the army to get girls, but it was kind of what happened tonight, and maybe it wasn't the worst thing.
It was certainly not the worst thing when Hailey pulled her own shirt off.
"God," Jay said under his breath and finally let his hand drag down her bare skin.
"I love you," Hailey said before kissing him again. She pulled back a second later and placed her hands on either side of his neck.
"And I love you," Jay repeated.
Hailey smiled slightly and shook her head again in disbelief. With her chest moving quickly with each breath she took, she rubbed her thumb under his ear and said, "I thought we were going to take this slow."
Jay chuckled and brushed his hand through her hair again. "I thought so too," he admitted, "But…here we are."
Hailey laughed with him then kissed him. "I don't mind," she said against his lips, "I don't mind anything I get to do with you." Sitting up, she added, "I've always meant it when I said I feel safe with you. I trust you more than I've trusted anyone in my life, and if you could see everything horrible that had happened to me over the past couple months and still say you love me…I truly believe you when you say it."
If Jay thought hearing her say she loved him was going to be good, this felt ten times better. She heard she was loved, and she actually accepted it. She believed him.
He leaned forward slowly until, again, his lips met hers. Sliding his hands down her back, he held her tight to him trying to memorize this new feeling that felt so right. He pressed his thumbs into her waist earning a soft gasp to escape her.
"You're beautiful," he said simply once he sat back. He wet his lips then shrugged and added, "It's a fact. Every part of your life is beautiful. Horrible things happened to you, but it doesn't mean you're horrible. I asked you that night to be big and strong and brave just like my mom used to say, and you held up your end of the bargain better than I could have imagined. I was proud and, maybe this is weird to say, but I know my mom would be really proud of you too."
Hailey sniffled and her eyes suddenly looked even bluer than they had before. She nodded and rubbed her thumb under his ear again. "That means a lot," she whispered.
"Well, I love you a lot," Jay said, a small smile beginning to form once more on his lips.
Hailey wiped her eyes with her free hand then hugged him tightly. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear, "I love you a lot too."
Jay held her close for a moment before kissing the side of her head. "You're so welcome," he replied.
Hailey sniffled again then buried her face in his neck. She pressed her lips to his collarbone and whispered, "We sure went on a rollercoaster tonight, huh?"
Jay laughed and squeezed her against him. "Yeah, we did," he said. He waited for her to sit up before saying, "Was a good night, though, no regrets."
"Was?" Hailey repeated. She brushed her thumb along his jaw then said, "I don't think I want this night to end just yet."
"Then it won't," Jay said, "It doesn't ever have to."
Hailey's smile widened as she leaned forward to kiss him. She laughed softly against his lips while sliding her hands down his chest. With her fingers dragging along his skin, she breathed, "I'm really, really glad we're sped this up."
Jay chuckled and let his fingers tease along the edge of her bra. "I am too," he said while trailing his lips from hers and along her jaw. When he began sucking a soft mark at the base of her throat, she let out a quiet moan he could feel again in his gut. He unhooked her bra with one hand and used the other to pull it off from the front.
"Jay," she breathed as she stared down at him through half-lidded eyes.
He hummed and returned to kissing across her chest.
Hailey moaned again and tipped her head back. She dragged her nails down the sides of his arms before she whispered, "Please."
He moaned in agreement and easily stood with her in his arms. As her legs wrapped around his waist, he kissed her and breathed, "I love you."
"I love you too," she murmured against him.
At this point, Jay had lost count of how many times those seven combined words had been said, and it just continued throughout the night. From going from holding the words in and being scared to say them to whispering them against each other's skin throughout the night, the transition went so smoothly that nothing at all felt awkward. It was like waking up after a long night's sleep, but still felt like a dream.
The apartment fell into a soft darkness illuminated by the moon and the TV now playing the opening screen of the movie on repeat. The barely there light bounced off of Hailey's skin as piece-by-piece her clothes fell away. Jay tried his hardest throughout the night to memorize every inch of her – each lock of hair that brushed against him every time their hips rocked together, each random freckle on her skin no matter the direction he was looking at her, and even the way each breath sounded escaping her lips when his fingers tightened around her. Like he'd been thinking all night, it was overwhelming in the best way possible and continued until close to three in the morning.
Hailey moaned softly as she crawled back into bed after slipping away for a moment.
Jay blinked his eyes open and turned to look at her as she settled within the blankets. Frowning, he said, "You're wearing clothes."
Hailey laughed softly and sat cross-legged next to him wearing his boxers and the army t-shirt he'd long forgotten in the living room. "It's November," she said softly before brushing her hand over his hair.
"Are you cold?" he asked and leaned up on his elbows.
"Not right now," Hailey breathed, "I'm good. I'm…really good." She winked then laughed again.
Jay chuckled and scooted closer to her. He pressed a soft kiss to her knee and said, "Me too."
Hailey hummed and straightened her legs out to accept the weight of his head on her thigh. Lightly tracing her pointer finger along his face, she whispered, "Can I tell you something?"
"Always," he said as he tried keeping his eyes open to stare up at her despite the light movement of her hand above him coaxing him to sleep.
"You told me earlier that you meant the words, and I want you to know that I really meant the words too," she said softly, "I've loved you for a long time, Jay."
He smiled up at her then reached to lightly touch the side of her face to the best of his ability. "I believe you," he replied, "And I've known that – I've felt it – but hearing you say it…thank you."
Hailey turned her head to kiss his palm. "You're welcome," she whispered.
Jay let his eyes fall close again as Hailey's finger continued its path on his face. She hummed softly as he laid in her lap finally letting the weight of the day settle on him. If anything, that was the wrong choice of words. He actually felt rather light considering all that had happened within the last twenty-four hours. It was probably exactly that long ago that he'd passed out on his bed from spending too much time working on a turkey. A turkey he'd then eaten with the same exact girl he'd brought home and ended up sleeping with hours later.
If Thanksgiving wasn't his favorite holiday before, it definitely was now.
Like every morning before when they lived together, Hailey woke before Jay, but this time when he opened his eyes, he was met with her blue ones staring right back at him instead of seeing her eyelids and a small smirk on her face. He couldn't help but smile as he whispered, "Good morning."
"Good morning," she replied with a matching smile.
He chuckled and closed the short distance between them to press a quick kiss to her lips. "So it was real," he said.
"Not a dream at all," Hailey breathed. She set her hand on the side of his face and rubbed her thumb under his eye. "Feels like one, though."
"A bit," he hummed, "But a good one."
"For sure," Hailey laughed softly.
In the past day, Jay had begun making an incredibly long list of new favorite things about Hailey: how well she could bake pecan pies, her laugh when he made a lame dinner joke, the smell of her shampoo when her head was on his chest, the way her voice had sounded when she'd said 'I love you,' her eyes in the moonlight, the freckle right in the center of her chest, the scar on the back of her right knee, her weak moan each time his thumb moved just the right way, how soft her fingers felt on his skin, and now he could add her laugh in the morning. It was soft enough that it wasn't piercing through the otherwise quiet apartment, but it was still enough to sink within him just like her confession had the night before.
Soft like the feeling of Hailey's hair floating between the two of them right then. Jay lightly twirled his finger through a lock of it then watched the curl fall back on his shirt she was still wearing.
"How do you get it like that?" he asked softly.
Hailey laughed again and said, "What're you talking about?"
"Your hair, it looked different yesterday than it usually does," he explained, "I always like your hair, but it's different."
"I curled it," Hailey said and moved closer to him. Once she was up against his chest with her head resting on his arm, she said, "I'm surprised it's still staying. Between dinner and the ponytail and the…activities..."
Jay snorted and pulled her impossibly closer so he could feel her laughter against his throat. "That's one way to say sex," he said.
"Well," Hailey began. She looked up at him with a smirk and continued, "I'm sorry I wanted to be classy this early in the morning."
Jay laughed harder and shook his head. "You do not have to worry," he said as his laughter died away, "I will always think you're classy."
"Thank you," Hailey giggled.
Jay smiled at her and kissed her nose. "We can show off how classy we are in a few days when I take you to dinner," he said.
"Ah, I almost forgot about that," Hailey said.
"You almost forgot?" Jay teased, "I was that good that I made you forget our date?"
Hailey laughed again and Jay added another item to his list: her laugh when they were talking about sex was way different than her teasing, flirty laugh, so it was an acceptable add. He was well aware that much of his list revolved around knowing Hailey was happy and being able to love her for that, but he knew it wasn't a bad thing. She deserved to be loved, and he was completely ready to be that person for her.
"I do not forget my plans to eat seafood," Hailey said, "I love shrimp."
"What kind of shrimp?" Jay countered.
Hailey hummed then said, "Coconut is really good with that pineapple dip, but it's also pretty sweet and I have to be in the mood. Shrimp scampi might be my all-time favorite. I'm kind of obsessed with garlic."
"Ah, wonderful first date then," Jay teased.
Hailey winked and draped her arm over his shoulder. "First official date," she said, "I think I remember you claiming yesterday could be a date, and then of course we came home and – what?"
When the word home had slipped from her lips, Jay knew his face lit up. They came home together the night before and she'd slept at his apartment. It didn't matter what led to it, she still considered it this apartment her home.
Despite the happy thoughts running through his mind, he simply said, "Nothing."
"No, come on," Hailey prodded. She smiled softly and gently poked his chest. "Tell me what you're thinking about."
He shook his head and kissed her. It distracted her enough that her lips parted and she allowed him to roll on top of her.
"Jay," she said when she pulled away. She breathed in and set a hand on the side of his face.
He bit his lip slightly, but couldn't stop the smile slipping up into his eyes as he finally admitted, "You said this was your home. You said we came home together and I like that. I like that you still consider this your home."
"Of course I do," she whispered, "It's you – you're my home."
"What?" he breathed.
Hailey laughed softly and brushed her thumb along his eyebrow. "Yes," she said, "You're my home. It never mattered if I lived here or not. Home isn't a place, Jay; it doesn't have to be. It can be a person."
And it made sense.
It was like she'd put into words all the feelings he'd felt for the past few weeks.
He'd known Hailey was it for him and that Hailey was his person. He knew the day before that he trusted her and believed that she meant every word when she'd said she would listen to his past.
But now that feeling had a description.
He hadn't just felt safe, he'd felt like he was at home.
Hailey was right: home wasn't a place, and his home was her.
So he nodded and swallowed, searching for the words she'd just so easily said aloud to confirm that he felt the same way.
Hailey returned her fingers to the back of his head where she continued playing with his hair. For the first time in a while, she looked shy lying there in front of him as if she wasn't sure if those words were finally the ones that took the situation too far.
He took a deep breath then said, "You're right. Our home isn't this tiny apartment or even just this room, it's us." He let a smile spread across his face and added, "You're my home. You have been for a while now, but I don't think I realized it until you said it – kind of like you completed my thoughts."
"Well, we are partners," Hailey teased gently.
Jay laughed softly and said, "Yeah. We are." His eyes scanned her face before he leaned forward to kiss her once more and whisper, "I do love you."
"I know," she replied gently, "And I love you too."
Years before, Jay would admit to hate hearing couples repeatedly say they loved each other. It felt annoying and like they were bragging about how happy they were. Now, after growing up and having a handful of relationships where those words were uttered, Jay knew why he had finally become one of those once unbearable couples: he couldn't hold it in. Truly loving someone like how he loved Hailey meant feeling it everywhere within him and needing to share it with the world. Sure, the world right now just included Hailey, but it was good enough – she could be considered his world right now because he really didn't want to be anywhere else.
Hailey's fingers on his chest spread out as she let out a soft breath. They slowly swirled along his skin almost lulling him back to sleep when she whispered, "I don't ever want to get up. I feel like a bubble will pop the second we leave this room."
"It won't," Jay assured her. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and said, "The bubble will expand to the kitchen."
Hailey laughed at the smirk that had spread across his face and said, "Is that your way of saying you're hungry?"
"No, it was an attempt at being funny," Jay chuckled.
Hailey rolled her eyes, but still smiled and brushed her thumb along his bottom lip. "It was sorta funny," she admitted, "But I'm also sorta hungry, so-"
"I can make breakfast," Jay interrupted and sat up.
"Not omelets," Hailey said.
Jay looked down at her and raised an eyebrow as he asked, "What?"
"I don't want eggs," Hailey explained while sitting up, "I think I want a smoothie."
"A smoothie," Jay repeated.
Hailey nodded and bit her lip over a smile. "You do know what that is, right?" she teased.
"Oh, ha ha," Jay said, "You are so funny. I know what a damn smoothie is; I just didn't know you liked them."
"I do," Hailey said and swung her legs out of bed, "They're good, and they're a good way to get your fruits and vegetables in."
"Actually, did you know that smoothies mess with the sugars of the fruit and they're not as good for you as they are raw?" Jay asked.
Hailey looked at him amused then said, "That's so dumb."
"It is not," Jay laughed, "It's science."
"Well, you are the science expert," Hailey said, a smile teasing at her lips, "But I really would still like a smoothie, so do you have fruit or should we take this party upstairs to my place?"
Shaking his head, Jay laughed again and made his way to his dresser. "I have fruit. There should be some spinach in there too if that's the kind of vegetable you were referring to," he said while searching for a new t-shirt and pair of sweatpants to wear.
"It'll do," Hailey said before walking out.
Jay smiled to himself as he pulled his clothes on. He could hear Hailey searching through his fridge for said fruit and vegetables. He needed to make a mental note to buy more plus some frozen fruit because if Hailey wanted smoothies and an excuse to spend even more nights and mornings with him, then he was going to want to have anything she could possibly need for breakfast on hand.
It'd barely been an hour since waking up and he was already planning for more mornings like this one.
He was pretty far gone, and he didn't mind in the least.
The entire morning, Jay couldn't help but think of how lucky and happy he was. Smoothies on the couch led to laying together actually watching the movie that had been on the screen the night before. Hailey situated herself between his legs with her head on his chest, and it was so comfortable that it felt like she'd been doing it forever. While she still watched the movie, she allowed her fingers to drift along him as he did the same. He couldn't get enough of the feeling of Hailey's soft skin against his. She was so comfortably warm in the slight chill of the apartment. It was perfect.
There were times, though, where Jay felt his eyes drift over to the easel still in the corner of his living room. Hailey knew about it, and he fully planned on giving it to her officially, but he still wanted to write something on it. His dad had always signed everything he made for his mom, even if it was something as simple as his initials and the date. He wanted to do the same for Hailey, he just couldn't think of what that should be yet.
He still didn't want to write on there that he loved her even though he did and had already told her. He actually wanted it to be something he hadn't necessarily said to her just yet. If he thought hard enough, he could come up with a lengthy list of things he never said to Hailey, but that just made his head spin. There were endless things he wanted to say to her, he just needed to figure out which words were important enough that he wanted them to be written on the wood forever.
While processing his thoughts and keeping half his mind on the movie, Jay tried relaxing even more by playing gently with Hailey's hair. He'd wondered before what it was like to run his fingers through it, and now he finally could, so he really didn't ever want to stop. In the back of his head, he remembered how Hailey had practically done the same to him all night and wondered if she'd had the same thoughts that he did. He certainly wasn't going to complain; he liked feeling Hailey's cool fingers along the back of his neck.
When the credits finally rolled around, Hailey yawned and murmured up into his throat, "Can we take a nap?"
"Sure," he whispered and moved to get up only for her to shake her head and push his chest back.
"Here on the couch," she said and settled back down against him, "I'm comfortable here. Are you?"
The arm of the couch wasn't the most comfortable headrest, but Hailey was on top of him and, like the night before, the weight of her was rather calming there on the couch, so he didn't want to complain.
"Of course," he breathed.
Hailey smiled against him and curled up slightly.
Jay reached over to turn off the TV then placed a hand on her back. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and tangled his fingers back in her hair. Like Hailey had said the day before, he was never one for staying in bed super late or taking an excessive number of naps, but he had been lacking in sleep the past couple days, so he figured this was justified.
Plus, it was another excuse to hold Hailey, and that was never something he wanted to pass up. His heart told him he'd have forever to do so, but he still wanted to start right now.
She was worth a crick in the neck if it meant she was content and happy.
"I need clothes."
"You really don't."
"Jay."
"Please."
"I'll see you at work."
Jay sighed and stepped closer to Hailey in his doorway. "If you really insist," he said.
Hailey laughed again and went up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "See you in an hour," she whispered in his ear before turning and heading toward the stairs.
Jay leaned into the hallway to watch her. She was still dressed in his t-shirt, but had thrown on her jeans over his boxers – and he never thought he'd been more attracted to anyone in his life.
She'd stayed all Friday, and they'd spent the majority of the time curled up together on the couch and then the floor and then the bed again and even a little bit in the shower. It was the perfect way to spend their day off, and he knew he'd be replaying it in his mind for a long time.
When she'd fallen asleep in his arms early Saturday morning after they spent much of the night whispering to each other in the silence of the bedroom, he stayed up even longer just looking at her. After spending so many nights together, and even just the last forty-eight hours, he still couldn't find it in himself to look away. She looked so peaceful when she slept; it filled him with a bit of pride knowing he was perhaps a reason behind that.
He made his way back to the bathroom for a quick, real shower. The night before, Hailey had told him she didn't think his shower was meant for two people, but he was determined to prove her wrong. It was definitely tight, and yet neither of them complained. What had started as teasing and flirting ended in lingering touches and whispering underneath the water together.
Jay was so lost in remembering it that he almost forgot to brush his teeth before leaving for work.
All he could do was laugh at himself while rinsing his mouth out. If he was going to forget basic chores because of a girl, at least that girl was Hailey.
When she first walked into the bullpen, she shot him a wink at his desk before announcing she'd brought coffee for everyone – a Thanksgiving treat.
"Someone had a good break," Kim teased while grabbing her cup, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Hailey said brightly, "And I was thinking we could all go out tonight too. I never properly repaid you all for helping me while I was out and for helping me move."
"You don't have to do that," Jay said. He walked over and picked up the cup with his name on it.
"Because she already repaid you?" Adam asked and accepted the coffee Hailey passed him.
Hailey and Jay looked over at him, completely frozen in place.
Kevin laughed as he grabbed his coffee and passed one to Vanessa. "You think it happened?" he asked.
Vanessa hummed and said, "I haven't known them long, but yes."
"No, no," Kim said, "They wouldn't."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hailey said before walking into Voight's office to deliver the last cup.
Jay glared at Adam and Kevin before looking at Vanessa and saying, "No. We did not do whatever you're all thinking."
"And what is it we're thinking?" Kevin asked.
Jay shook his head and walked to his desk. He could hear Kevin and Adam snickering behind him, but he didn't want to say much more about it. He knew if he faced them that it'd be much harder to hide a lie than by ignoring it all.
"Hey, we'll take you up on drinks tonight," Adam said when Hailey was walking back out into the bullpen.
Kim nodded and smiled. "It'll be fun. We can celebrate Thanksgiving then too," she said.
"Should we head somewhere with food then?" Vanessa asked.
"Just bar food is good with me," Kevin said.
Jay nodded and added, "I don't need anything fancy. I had more than enough the past few days."
"More than enough…food?" Adam asked, "Or was there something else you were enjoying?"
"You're hilarious," Jay said and threw a pen at him, "Food, dumbass. Unlike you, I know how to cook."
"He's a pretty good cook," Kim said, "Hailey, how's Jay's cooking?"
While Jay looked shocked at Kim's question, Hailey just laughed and sat down at her desk. "He was fine," she said, "I actually did a lot of the cooking. I played the role of 50s housewife when we lived together." She winked at Jay before turning her computer on.
He smiled back at her then took a sip of coffee.
"How cute," Vanessa laughed softly and settled into her desk.
"You didn't cook when we were dating," Adam mumbled.
"Wasn't living with you and we were barely dating," Hailey said without looking up.
"I disagree, darling," Adam chuckled.
Hailey rolled her eyes and began searching through her email.
Jay felt torn as he started working as well: he always loved a joke at Adam's expense, but at the same time the joke made him wonder what exactly his relationship with Hailey was right now. Without a doubt, they were something. He hadn't considered calling her a girlfriend, but it seemed like the right thing to call her; he wouldn't mind being called her boyfriend. Then again, they hadn't even gone on a real date yet. But they had slept together and lived together before that even happened. Not to mention, they'd said 'I love you' multiple times by now.
Maybe being with Hailey wasn't going to be the complicated part – nothing about the past couple days and even the week leading up to them had felt complicated – maybe the complicated part was going to be labeling whatever they were. Jay hadn't expected it to be a problem at all, but here he was…overthinking it just like everything that involved Hailey and his life.
Nothing new.
If they hadn't just spent the last two days tangled up together in his apartment, Jay wouldn't have thought his relationship with Hailey had changed at all during work. He was actually rather proud of how they acted and thought the entire day went rather smoothly – in no way did he think anyone would be suspicious of anything between the two of them. He hoped they would all drop that morning's conversation and move on with their lives.
Once they got back to their apartment building, though, all of their day's hiding went out the window. Hailey's fingers made quick work of pulling his shirt from his jeans and then tugging him by his belt loops to her front door. It reminded him of when she'd done the same thing outside his own apartment door the month before when she'd needed to get his keys from his pocket. If only he'd known then what their relationship would grow to be.
Well, maybe he had known then. At least…he'd really hoped it would grow to this.
They kept each other busy for the evening before making the difficult decision to drive together to the bar. While they weren't sure they wanted everyone to know they were something, they didn't think they wanted to completely hide and lie to everyone. Plus, everyone obviously knew they lived in the same building, so it made sense that they'd drive together, especially since Hailey made a comment as they were leaving the district that she wanted to do a tequila shot. While everyone else had laughed because she acted like it was something crazy and out of the blue to do, Jay just smiled at her and couldn't wait for the moment she did because he loved the look on her face whenever she did a shot – it was equally attractive as it was funny.
When they arrived together at the bar, it was rather full, but there looked to be one corner booth open in the back that they bee-lined for.
With his hand on her back, Jay mumbled, "Don't these people have work?"
Hailey laughed and shot him a look over her shoulder. "It's a Saturday night, typically no one works today and definitely don't work tomorrow," she said, "And I pray we can one day be included in that. I'd love a lazy Sunday."
"Well, what were your thoughts on our past two lazy days?" Jay asked as they slid into the booth.
Hailey smiled at him, a soft blush crossing her cheeks. "I really enjoyed our lazy days," she said, "But there's something about having a Sunday off that sounds even better."
"Even better than spending time with me?" Jay asked.
Hailey rolled her eyes and set a hand on his thigh. "Not really what I meant, but I would love to spend a Sunday with you," she said, "We could spend the day in bed again, or we could take a long walk; we could maybe even go to the movies or Navy Pier."
Jay's smile widened before he said, "I'd love doing any of that with you. It sounds really nice."
"Good," Hailey said softly. She tilted her head to the left then let out a soft sigh and asked, "Who do I need to bribe in order for us to both get the day off?"
"The powers above," Jay said easily.
Hailey laughed with him then shook her head. "Maybe," she replied while slipping her hand in Jay's. "The past few days have been…" She trailed off with a smile and set her hand on the side of his neck.
"Yeah," Jay breathed and leaned forward to catch her lips in his. He slid his hand up her thigh as he deepened the kiss and mumbled, "Thank you."
"For?" Hailey breathed.
Jay pulled back to look at her and said, "Being you. Trusting me."
Hailey smiled and rubbed her thumb over his bottom lip. "And thank you for making me feel safe enough to do so. I meant it, Jay, and I always will. I love you."
Jay smiled back and kissed her again. He was about to tangle his fingers in his hair when he heard a voice rise about the rest of the bar noise: "Their place is like four blocks closer, you'd think they'd have beat us here."
He snapped back so quickly that a flash of pain shot down his spine. Groaning, he rubbed the back of his neck and tried finding the source of the noise. He glanced up just in time to see Adam, Kim, Kevin, and Vanessa looking around near the door.
Hailey followed his gaze then stood up slightly to wave them down. "Hey!" she said.
Kim caught her eye and smiled while leading the way over. "Hey!" she greeted and slid into the booth on Hailey's other side, "We were wondering where you two were."
"Just here waiting for you all," Hailey replied, shooting a smile toward Jay.
He winked then made his way out of the booth. "Beer anyone?" he asked.
"I'll have one," Vanessa said while taking his place.
Hailey nodded and said, "Me too."
"Kim?" Adam asked.
"Of course," Kim replied while her eyes darted between Jay and Hailey.
"I'll go with you two," Kevin said as he also glanced between the two.
Jay nodded, clapping his hands together as he walked up to the bar. While ordering the drinks, he couldn't help but lick his lips and taste Hailey's cherry chapstick. He smiled to himself and looked down at the bar top.
"So," Kevin said and cleared his throat as he settled onto a barstool while pulling his wallet out, "You two spent Thanksgiving together?"
Adam looked away from the girls to stare down Jay.
Jay glanced up and said, "Yes."
Kevin smirked and nodded.
Adam's expression slowly matched his and he lightly smacked Jay on the back. "You did it," he stated.
"Gonna have to be more specific than that," Jay chuckled. He thanked the bartender for the drinks as she slid them over.
"You two finally got together," Kevin said. It wasn't a question, but a statement that caused heat to rise in Jay's cheeks.
Jay raised an eyebrow then took a long sip of beer.
"Are you really going to make us spell it out?" Adam asked.
Jay chuckled and, shaking his head, turned to walk back to the booth. When he approached the table, he had a feeling that Hailey was having a similar conversation with Kim and Vanessa because she was quietly laughing with pink cheeks while waving them off.
"Everything good?" he asked as he passed over Hailey's beer and slid into the booth next to Kim.
"Everything is great," Vanessa said and placed her chin on her hand. Staring at him, she tilted her head to the side and shot him a wide smile.
Kim laughed under her breath and reached past Jay to accept her drink from Adam.
Kevin sat down next to Vanessa followed by Adam. He grabbed a menu and asked, "Anyone want appetizers? Pretty sure Hailey said she was paying."
Hailey rolled her eyes, but still laughed and said, "Very funny."
Kevin winked at her then said, "I know. I was serious about the appetizers though. It's been forever since we all went out and I've been wanting wings."
As everyone debated which appetizers to order and then talked about ordering a pizza to split, Jay kept his eyes on Hailey. Sitting just two down from her, he didn't have the best angle to look at her, but he hoped it wasn't too obvious. While he couldn't stop thinking about what they needed to call themselves, he also couldn't stop thinking about her in general.
Every time she laughed, her eyes would light up and she'd nod along with whoever was telling the joke or story. Occasionally her gaze would drift to meet his, and her smile would simply widen and she'd wink at him.
Perhaps their friends had a feeling about their relationship, but for now it felt like the perfect secret that only they knew about.
It felt even better when Hailey glanced around to see if anyone was looking before catching his eyes and mouthing, 'I love you.'
The surprised look that crossed his face was rather brief, and he couldn't help but laugh softly. 'I love you too,' he mouthed back then took a big bite of pizza.
Hailey laughed under her breath as she wiped her napkin over her mouth.
While smiling at her, Jay could feel Kim and Vanessa looking at him, but he chose not to engage and entertain them. Instead, he copied Hailey and tried hiding his face with his napkin.
Without a doubt, their 'secret' was going to be blown within a week max, but for now, he didn't mind it in the least.
Months before, Jay found himself being pulled to the back hallway of a different bar with a different blonde. It'd been fun, but a certain girl had distracted him enough that it didn't sit right with him and he'd happily accepted the out.
Tonight, another blonde approached him at the bar as he waited for two whiskey sours for Hailey and Vanessa and a beer for himself. He was leaning against the bar wondering what about three drinks took so long when the woman saddled up in the seat next to him.
"What'd you order?" she asked.
Jay glanced down at her first thinking it was Hailey, but was completely shocked to see a different girl at his side. He tried laughing as he glanced back at the booth and said, "A couple whiskey sours."
The girl hummed and nodded. She waved down the bartender and asked, "Mind if I try a whiskey sour too?"
The bartender raised an eyebrow and almost looked annoyed, but nodded and walked away.
"Are they good?" the girl asked.
"You've never had one?" Jay countered.
"No, I typically stick to daiquiris," she answered, "But I'm down for trying something new. Rachel." She stuck her hand out and smiled wide.
Jay couldn't help but laugh softly at her boldness before shaking her hand. "Jay," he answered with another glance back at the others. He couldn't make out their expressions, but he was hoping they could see his. He wanted an out. Now.
"Are you here with anyone?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, some friends," Jay answered.
Rachel nodded and leaned her elbow on the bar. Her right foot swung forward and brushed against his thigh. "I did too," she said, "Bachelorette party. Well, it's a joint thing."
"Ah, I did that with my brother before too," Jay answered and stepped backwards, "It was fine."
"Yeah," Rachel sighed, "Was kind of hoping one of the other guys would be single, but they're not, and then-"
"Jay."
He sucked in a breath and happily turned to face Hailey. "Hey," he said.
"You good?" she asked, a smile teasing at her lips, "What's taking the drinks so long?"
"No idea," Jay said and reached out toward her.
Hailey easily stepped against his side then turned to Rachel. "Hello," she said coolly.
"Hi," Rachel returned while straightening herself up.
"Sorry, but I have to pull Jay away," Hailey said, "He lost a little bet and needed to buy my friend and I a drink."
"Ah," Rachel replied, "Gotcha. I didn't realize-"
"Yeah, taken, sorry," Jay said as all four drinks were placed in front of them. He passed Hailey one of the whiskey sours before grabbing the other one and the beer.
Rachel scoffed softly then slid a $10 bill across the bar before walking away with her drink.
"Are whiskey sours really ten bucks?" Hailey whispered.
Jay laughed and shook his head. "No, not ten bucks, but she seems a little ticked," he said, "I didn't think I was leading her on."
"Well, you clearly were," Hailey said and raised an eyebrow.
"Hailey," Jay warned, "I swear, I-"
"I know," Hailey laughed softly then poked his chest, "Kinda fun, though, right? I finally got to interrupt a girl from flirting with you by actually being your girlfriend and not just lying about it."
"So you're my girlfriend?" Jay asked, a smile teasing at his lips.
"I think so, right?" Hailey said, her own smile starting to fade, "I mean, I'd like to be, and I figured after the past few days, weeks even, that we could be. We're in this, right?"
"Of course we're in this," Jay said softly, "I just wasn't sure if I needed to take you on a date yet before we labeled it."
"I think rules are all out the window, babe," Hailey said. She glanced over her shoulder then bit her lip over the smirk that was starting to return to her face. "They know," she said simply. She set her drink down and raised an eyebrow.
"Did you tell them?" Jay asked.
"Did I need to?" Hailey countered, "Jay, come on. They know."
He took a deep breath then nodded. "I know," he said. He set the drinks he was holding down as well before saying, "Guess we weren't subtle."
Hailey laughed and shook her head. "I don't think we ever were," she said.
"Well then," Jay said and took a deep breath. He glanced at his friends that he was very sure were watching them then laughed to himself before throwing caution to the wind and kissing Hailey right there in the middle of the bar.
Hailey laughed against him and it was all he could hear for a brief second before the sounds of catcalling drifted across the bar.
"Knew it!"
"There he goes!"
"Finally!"
"I've been saying it all along!"
"There goes that," Hailey whispered.
Jay shrugged and brushed his fingers through the back of her hair. "I didn't really want to keep you hidden for long," he replied, "You're too pretty to hide. Mean too much to me too."
"You're kind of a charmer, Halstead," Hailey teased, her fingers slipping down to tug at his belt loops.
"Well, I try," he replied, "Should we head back to all the questions?"
Hailey hummed then went up on her tiptoes to kiss him once more. "Now we can go back," she said. Picking up her drinks, she said, "I'll walk first. Give you a show."
Jay couldn't hold in his laugh as Hailey led the way back to the booth. Like she wanted, he let his eyes drift over her, but he also looked at his friends still cheering for them and clapping in their little corner. He couldn't believe he'd been worried about how this would all play out. Everything was going to be fine – he'd known it all along and this was just the tiny bit of confirmation he needed to finish his headfirst dive into the future.
Because that's what Hailey was.
His future.
And he was completely ready for it.
Even if Adam and Kevin teased him endlessly for the next hour about it.
Hailey's wandering hands in the truck continued into the apartment building and Jay couldn't help but recuperate in the elevator. He had his fingers running along the back of her bra when the doors dinged open to his floor.
"Damn," he whispered while walking her backwards into the hallway.
Hailey laughed softly and said, "We can keep it going."
Jay hummed and kissed under her jaw before quickly picking her up. Squeezing under her thighs, he breathed in her ear, "Isn't there a song about tequila making a girl's clothes come off?"
Hailey laughed again and rested her forehead on his shoulder as he carried her the short way down to his apartment. "I think so," she said while dragging her nails down his back.
He moaned softly and unlocked the apartment. Kicking the door open, he asked, "So, is that gonna happen tonight?"
He could feel Hailey's smirk against his neck before she whispered, "I really hope so."
"Then who am I to deny that?" Jay asked as he brought her into his bedroom.
Kissing down her neck and unclipping her bra, Jay silently thanked everything that led them to this moment. He couldn't deny that he had been nervous going into the past few days after first saying he loved Hailey, but once they'd completely opened up to each other and been at their most vulnerable, he was certain he didn't have any regrets.
This was his Hailey.
And he enjoyed every piece of her. From the way her nails scratched down his arms to the moans she let out every time she tilted her head back. He loved watching her fall apart time and time again that it seemed to erase all logical thoughts from his head.
He was catching his breath and basking in the afterglow of their evening together when her quiet voice against his chest broke through his brain: "Jay?"
"Hmm?" he hummed and lifted his arm she was using as a pillow to twirl his fingers around a strand of her hair.
"This, us…I want us to work," Hailey whispered.
Jay opened his eyes to look up at the ceiling, having not completely expected those words to slip from her lips. Turning his head to look down at her, he said, "I know, I do too." He brushed his thumb along the shell of her ear and tried sending her a reassuring smile.
And yet it didn't work. Hailey didn't smile back, and instead took a deep breath then began, "But…"
Jay rolled onto his side to completely face her, the nervousness in her eyes frighteningly clear. "Hey. Hey. I'm right here, I'm listening," he whispered, "Talk to me. Just like what we've done before. I'm here for you."
Hailey licked her bottom lip before chewing on it for a good minute. Finally, she quietly admitted, "I'm scared."
"Of what?" he asked almost too quickly.
Hailey shakily put a hand on his chest then said, "I've had too many relationships go wrong and I don't want that to happen here. I don't want you to just be some other sad story, and I'm scared that when we officially go back into work as a thing that it's going to be hard."
It broke his heart hearing her say the words, but he'd been thinking the same thing earlier, and there was something comforting about hearing that she had the same feelings. Relaxing into his pillow, he said softly, "Hailey. I can see where you're coming from, and I'm scared too."
Squeezing her eyes shut, Hailey breathed in slowly and fear dropped in Jay's stomach. He wasn't sure how he'd said something wrong and tried rethinking through everything she'd said. It wasn't until she began saying, "Of-" that his mind lit up.
"Not of you," he said quickly, "Of losing you. Of messing up." Hailey's eyes opened and he returned to rubbing his thumb behind her ear in an attempt to soothe her as he continued, "I put off doing any of this or saying anything for so long because I was scared it was too much. I was scared to push you into something you're not ready for, but you're here right now. You're in my bed and proving to me you want this. We both want this, and maybe it'll get hard, maybe it won't be simple, but it'll be worth it."
Taking a deep breath, he bit his lip and tried appearing calm despite the nerves coursing through him. He wanted her to believe him more than anything because hearing her say she'd believed him when he said he loved her had meant so much that he really did want to hear it again.
Hailey nodded and her hand on his chest curled up just the slightest amount. She breathed him in then nodded again as if reassuring herself that she believed him and Jay relaxed.
"Think of all the hard things in the world, Hailey," he continued, "And think of how good they turned out to be." He smiled as he began forming a quick list in his head that he easily told her: "Not just stuff in our lives like work or our pasts or even us, but the big stuff in science and history. I'm sure painting was hard at some point for Van Gogh, but he figured it out."
Hailey laughed softly and asked, "Really?"
Jay smirked and nodded.
Hailey seemed to have her smile back as she straightened up slightly and asked, "Don't you know that he became famous after he died? So did it really work out for him?"
Jay raised an eyebrow before saying, "I…I did not know that. Well, okay then." He paused to shake his head and asked, "What about the moon? People lived after going to the moon. NASA figured it out."
"People died doing that too," Hailey deadpanned, but had a hint of a smile on her face.
Sighing, Jay tried not to laugh as he fought through Hailey's continuous arguments that he knew were built on fear: "And we've both had other relationships. You watched me crash and burn twice over women, just like the Challenger. But they didn't give up, they kept going, and now we're talking about Mars, right? And-" He stopped when Hailey's smile grew and briefly wondered if she had been teasing him the entire time. "Why're you smiling?" he asked.
"Because you're happy," Hailey answered softly and swirled her finger over his chest, "You're talking about space and you're happy. I like this side of you."
As she slid her hand up to brush her fingers along his cheek, he looked her in eyes that were much like the color of Neptune and that's when the problem that had been itching at him for days finally clicked: he knew what he wanted to write on her easel. Part of him wanted to get up right then and go scrawl his message, but Hailey moved closer to him and pressed her lips to his.
"Thank you," she whispered, "For believing in us. Maybe we are like all those rocket ships and a little like undiscovered artists-" her smile flashed across her face "-we have a shot. We have this chance to do something great like everyone else, so why not try it out?"
Jay shook his head and brushed his thumb along her jaw as he repeated, "Why not?"
Hailey wrapped her arms over his shoulders and rested her head in the crook of his neck. Letting out a soft breath, she whispered, "I love you, Jay, so much."
"And I love you," he whispered back. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he closed his eyes and slowly rubbed his hands over her back. Feeling her completely against him, both physically and emotionally, he never felt so sure of himself in anything he'd ever done.
This was it for him. He knew now more than ever that his heart completely and utterly belonged to Hailey.
Late in the night, when Hailey was long asleep, Jay slipped from the bed to grab a permanent marker and put the final touch on the easel. It may have taken days to figure out, but didn't think he could be happier with how it ended up.
He managed to slip back into bed next to Hailey without waking her, but was so excited for her to see the final gift that he couldn't fall back asleep. He was still looking down at her and watching her breathe when her eyes began fluttering open.
She sleepily smiled at him and whispered, "Good morning, you."
"Morning, babe," he breathed.
Hailey laughed softly and leaned up to kiss the side of his mouth. "I like when you say that," she said, "It's cute."
"I'll keep that in mind," Jay said and brushed his fingers through her hair, "You want breakfast before we head into work?"
Hailey jokingly groaned while sitting up. "If we must," she said. Rubbing her forehead, she asked, "Did we really do tequila shots last night?"
Jay laughed as he got out of bed. "Well, just two each. It wasn't that crazy," he said. Bending down to grab the pair of sweatpants he'd left next to his bed, he asked, "You need some pills?"
"If you have any, yes," Hailey answered. She slipped from the blankets and pulled on Jay's boxers and t-shirt.
"Course." Jay walked over to grab a t-shirt from his dresser then said, "Go ahead and hang out on the couch. I'll grab the bottle and start breakfast. Want something on the griddle?"
Hailey laughed softly and threw her hair up into a ponytail. "No, I'm good with an omelet since we're going into work. Next Sunday if we have the day off, then we can have waffles," she said.
"I can do that," Jay chuckled before heading out of the bedroom. He glanced over at the easel and his smile widened. By the time he'd gotten the bottle of asprin from the bathroom, Hailey had made her way into the kitchen and started the coffee.
"Here ya go," he said while setting the bottle on the counter. He filled her a glass of water then nodded to the living room and said, "Seriously. Go sit down; I've got this."
Hailey swallowed the pills and gave him a quick look before nodding and heading to the couch.
As he made their omelets, Jay kept glancing over at Hailey wishing she'd look over at the easel. He was just about to give up on it when Hailey finally looked up from her phone and asked, "Are you cool if I bring the easel back up to my place tonight?"
"Of course," he answered easily, "Gonna paint something?"
Hailey smiled and nodded. Once he was looking at her, she held up her phone and explained, "I was just watching this video on how to paint more realistic clouds. I kind of hate how mine always look."
"Your clouds look fine," Jay said.
Hailey waved him off then set the phone on the coffee table. "You have to say that," she said before turning to look at the easel. She stared at it for a few seconds before standing up and making her way over.
Jay held his breath as he watched her slowly examine the easel. Her fingers drifted over the words he'd written then she turned back toward him.
"Jay," she whispered.
He tried to smile and nodded.
"Jay," she repeated while shaking her head. He was almost scared of what she was going to say, but then she was hurrying across the apartment with tears in her eyes and burying her face in his chest.
He couldn't help but weakly laugh as he held her tight. "It's true," he breathed, "I mean it."
"And I'm your sun," Hailey said and looked up at him. She sniffled then pushed up to press her lips to his. "Your sun, your moon, your Neptune, whatever you need, Jay, it's you and me," she whispered.
He smiled back at her and kissed her quickly again. "Us against the world," he said, "Nowhere I'd rather be."
Hailey's face lit up and she set her hands on either side of his face. "Thank you," she said, "For everything you've done the past few months and for everything I know you'll do in the future." With a smile on her face, she added, "I believe in everything you do."
"Hey, I've got you," Jay said softly and kissed her forehead, "And I'm not going anywhere."
"I sure hope not," Hailey replied, "If I lost my sun, I don't know what I'd do."
Jay chuckled and kissed her again. "Probably freeze to death," he said.
Hailey laughed with him and shook her head.
Smiling as she completely relaxed against him, Jay easily returned his lips to her. He slid his hands down her back and knew they'd done it: they made it past every obstacle they had faced and came out on top.
Just like he'd always wanted.
Forgetting about the eggs cooking behind them, he silently thanked the words he'd written on the easel by the moonlight: To my sun, my moon, and my stars in the sky. You're all the planets in my universe and I couldn't be more grateful to have a girl like you. Paint away – you're my favorite artist.
I'll be summer sun for you forever
She says she doesn't believe anything much she hears these days
I say, "Believe in one thing, I won't go away."
A/N: And that's our song! Thank you all for reading and supporting me along the way. I've truly loved writing this story and I hope you all enjoyed the journey.
Special thanks to Abby, Britt, and Cami for supporting me every single step of the way. Every single DM and bit of screaming that came my way was much supported and always put a smile on my face. Thank you struggle snuggles squad!
And to Annie, my writing buddy, I don't know what I would have done without you. From debating word choice with me to helping me not give up, writing this story by your side has been really special. Thank you for everything!
I can't wait to hear what you all think, and I can't wait to show you what else is to come! Talk soon!
