Author's Note: Writer's block sucks. And summer weather lasting into October sucks even more.

But, I've finally been able to finish this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it. :)


September 13th, 1997 Grimmauld Place

"Thanks for coming over," Sirius said as Harry apparated into their back garden.

"No problem."

"I figured you might enjoy helping out with this," Sirius added as he led him inside and towards the main hallway. "Finally getting rid of the old bat."

Sirius tugged back the curtains around the painting of his hated mother and she instantly sneered at them. "The disappointment returns to bother me yet again- and even worse, you've brought your little half mudblood with you."

"Hello to you too, Mrs. Black," Harry said with a small grin. "It's nice to see you today."

"Huh?" Sirius turned to him with a look of betrayal. "How is it nice to see her?"

"Because it's the last day we'll see her," Harry winked.

"Ha! True enough," his godfather laughed.

"You'll never be able to remove my portrait from the House of Black," Walburga snarled. "I will still be here when you're both dead and gone."

"I've got the paint removal stuff," Sirius said as he floated a bucket over from the stairway. "I thought it would be a nice little treat to use some muggle chemicals to erase her."

"You awful little bastard!" his mother screeched.

Harry chuckled. "I'm sorry, but are you admitting that you got knocked up before you were married? Or, are you suggesting you cheated on your husband to produce Sirius."

"Either way could be pretty funny," Sirius snorted.

"True," Harry agreed. "Well, let's get started."

"Alright," Sirius nodded as he handed over a paint brush.

"So, how do we use this stuff?" Harry asked.

"I thought you knew," Sirius replied.

"Nope."

Sirius shrugged. "How hard can it be? It's not like I care if it damages the blasted thing."

"Pitiful mudblood garbage will never beat a magical portrait," his mother sneered in response.

As they popped open the container and started smearing it on like the rank amateurs they were, Harry did his best to shut out the din of the loud woman taunting them. It was a bit of a struggle, but he did his best to focus on the project itself. Unfortunately, it soon began to look like she may be right. The painting was still looking thoroughly un-defaced.

"I thought this would work better," Sirius muttered.

"Me too."

"Stupid little brats!" Walburga cackled. "I told you it wouldn't work!"

Harry set the brush down in the container and rubbed his head for a second. "You said it was a permanent sticking charm on the back of the painting, right?"

"Yes," Sirius sighed as he set his brush down too. "I was really hoping to not have to tear down a huge section of the wall. That could cause a lot of problems that I really don't want to get into right now."

"No, I think I have another idea," Harry said. "I'll be right back."

He walked down the hall until he found the kitchen. Going over to the counter top, he soon found what he was looking for.

Holding his hands behind his back, Harry returned to the painting looking superior at her son. "Where is Kreacher today, anyway?"

"Kathryn has him helping her with shopping," Sirius smirked. "She's got enough 'stuffy pureblood' in her repertoire that she can get him to behave pretty well just by turning her nose up a few times a day. Wish I'd thought of that, really, but she can have him. I'd rather just not have to deal with the mad blighter."

Harry nodded and smiled. "Well, I'm glad he's not here too. Want to see my bright idea?"

"Yes."

Harry showed him the two large knives he'd found. "I figured you should get the first cut in."

"Slash the portrait to pieces?" Sirius grinned widely. "I like this."

"Well, yeah, but I was actually thinking we could go around the edges and just remove the whole damn thing," Harry shrugged. "Most paintings I've seen have the frame extend out a bit, so the canvas itself shouldn't be attached to the wall."

"Brilliant," Sirius chuckled. He took one knife and started slicing at the top left corner. Walburga began shrieking again about blood traitors and the like, and Harry went to the other side to start cutting. After another few seconds, Sirius stopped his work, stepped to the middle and put a large gash right where her screeching mouth was. It only shut her up for a moment as she shifted places, but they kept on slicing the canvas away from its frame and soon had it all removed.

"You'll still have to do something about the frame," Harry said as Sirius rolled the canvas up.

"Yeah, but this is a really nice start."

"What now?" Harry asked.

"I've got a fire going," Sirius grinned. "Want to roast marshmallows over the smokey remains of my dear old mum?"

"I won't turn that down," Harry laughed. "Pansy's busy visiting friends right now, anyway, and I was told not to interfere in her baby time."

"Uh, oh," Sirius replied. Clapping him on the shoulder, he added, "I really hope you guys aren't thinking about that yet."

"No," Harry chuckled. "She just wants to get some experience in while she can. Neither of us had little siblings or cousins or anything to learn on, so we really don't know much about... well, everything that goes into taking care of babies. And she probably wouldn't admit it, but Pansy's a total softie when it comes to babies."

"All that cooing and whatnot," Sirius nodded. "Kathryn's older sister had one just this summer. The look she got in her eye was a little terrifying. But, I guess it's bound to happen one of these days."

"Well, you did say you wanted to beat me to becoming a father," Harry added. "You've still got some time, so don't hurry on my account."

They had reached the drawing room and sure enough there was already a large fire burning. It was a bit warm outside, but Harry was wearing short sleeves anyway so it wasn't too uncomfortable. And the chance to see the end of Sirius' horrid mother was worth it.

She shrieked one last time as he threw the canvas into the flames.

"Not quite the same as dancing on her grave, but it will do for now," Sirius said darkly.

"Do you know how to dance?" Harry asked.

"Yes, but I'm not sure if Kathryn would go for it," he answered.

"Ah, sorry. Pansy would totally be up for something like that. I joked with her once that we should visit her father's grave after we'd had a lot to drink so we could piss all over his grave."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "I know my wife definitely wouldn't go for that. Well," he summoned over a couple of glasses and a bottle of firewhisky. "Not unless I got her drunk first."

Harry took the offered beverage and toasted with his godfather.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," Sirius said with a smile.

Harry took a sip and sighed. "You know, if I have enough of this, I'd probably go with you if you do want to piss all over your mum's grave."

"We'd have to wait until tonight," Sirius answered. "Cover of darkness, you know? I don't want to get arrested for that sort of thing."

Harry took another sip and sat back in his chair. "Well, I've got some free time. But why don't we get those marshmallows out first?"


"Ansy!"

The squeal came as soon as she stepped into the living room, and Grace Frost was toddling on her chubby little legs over to greet her visitor. Pansy giggled and picked up the little girl. "Are you happy to see me?"

"Uh huh."

"You're getting so big," she smiled as Vanessa sighed and relaxed on the couch.

"I'm glad she's got someone else to play with for a little while."

"Where's Steven?" Pansy asked.

"The band is playing together this afternoon," Vanessa replied as she stretched her back. "Where's your hubby today?"

"He and Sirius are trying to remove his mother's awful portrait."

"Blocks!" Grace interjected, holding out two wooden blocks and staring at Pansy.

"Are we going to build something?"

The girl nodded. "A house."

Pansy chuckled and sat down on the floor. "I imagine someday she'll want to play a different version of house."

"Shush," Vanessa scoffed. "She'll be tiny and cute for as long as possible. And boys will be icky. That will help keep the rest of the household sane for a little while."

"Sounds like you've got a plan," Pansy agreed with a chortle.

"So, what's this about a portrait?" Vanessa asked.

Pansy helped her little girl with a couple more pieces to one wall of the small house she was building before looking up. "I guess you never went downstairs when we had that engagement party. Well, Sirius' mother was this horrible woman and she had a portrait made- I think just so she could yell at people from beyond the grave. Unfortunately, there was a permanent sticking charm on it, so they couldn't easily take it off the wall."

"That sounds like a nightmare."

"She was one, from what I've seen," Pansy said. "Anyway, Sirius got some paint remover and they're supposed to be removing the old bat, one way or another. It was nice to have other plans for while they're busy."

"How has the honeymoon been lately?" Vanessa asked with a smile.

"Fun, but..." Pansy thought for a moment and sighed. "I think it might be over."

"What do you mean?"

"I love New York," she answered with a small grin. "We've had so much fun there that we haven't moved on after almost two months. I mean, we've gone a couple of other places too, like we went up to see Niagara Falls with Luna and Parvati, and we went to a beach outside the city a couple of times, but I think I might want to live there."

"Oh," Vanessa frowned. "That will make it a bit harder to stay in touch, I guess."

"Not really," Pansy argued. "Harry can still pop us across the ocean whenever he wants."

"True."

"We'd just be on slightly different schedules," Pansy added. "But that's alright. The time difference is almost perfect in a way. When you're ready for dinner is about when I'll be hungry for lunch."

"At least you're not on the other side of the planet," Vanessa said. "That could be more of a problem. Would Harry still be able to teleport you that far?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," Pansy shrugged. "Normally, a wizard could apparate a few hundred miles or so at most. The furthest I've gone on my own is about two hundred. Harry went all the way from Kenya to Scotland like it was no big deal, so I've given up on trying to figure out how powerful he is."

"Wow, that's..." Vanessa trailed off and shook her head. "I don't even know what to say about that. What else have you been doing lately?"

"Well..."


An hour or so later, little Gracie had just been put down for a nap. Having someone new and exciting to play with had eventually left her all tuckered out.

"Now we can talk about a few spicier things," Vanessa laughed as she poured from a bottle of wine.

"Sounds fun," Pansy said. "Has that picked up for you lately?"

"It got a lot better once she was sleeping through the night. This summer has been such an improvement over last year. Steven and I are closer for it too; although some days it's nice just not to be as completely worn out as we were when she was tiny."

"Is it time to start potty training yet?" Pansy asked.

"She's still a bit young for that," Vanessa answered. "Probably sometime next year. With most kids, it seems to happen at about two or three. Thankfully, girls are usually a bit easier, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed about that. But that's enough baby talk for now."

"Sorry, I just haven't really had a chance to be around a baby much before," Pansy said.

"It's alright," Vanessa replied. "How have you and Harry been? Is he still completely obsessed with sex?"

Pansy snorted. "You have no idea. I asked him once how much would be enough sex in a day. He told me seven hours."

Vanessa laughed and covered her mouth briefly. "Good lord. You'd be so raw and sore."

"Well, we could have some spells to fix that, but yes, he is a bit much sometimes," Pansy smiled. "I love him though."

"No problems yet?"

"Not that I can think of," Pansy said. She chewed her lip for a moment though. "But, I did want to ask- have you ever had a threesome?"

"Oh, Pansy, please don't!" Vanessa looked worried.

"What do you mean?"

"I've known four different couples who decided to try that out, supposedly just for fun, and it blew up in their faces every single time," Vanessa sighed. "You just got married. Please, please don't do something like that."

"Well..." She tried to think of a way to put it.

"Oh, don't tell me-"

"We already have," Pansy just decided to admit it with a shrug. "It was fun, in its own way. But the other night, this girl at a bar propositioned us and Harry shot her down. I was sort of impressed by him in that moment."

"Then, when did you..." Vanessa took a larger drink of wine and then started to refill her glass. "Are you... um, bisexual? Not that there's anything wrong with that- my friend Jenny is, but-"

"No, I'm not into girls like that," Pansy giggled. "It was just fun because... well, different reasons for different times, but-"

"Okay, hold on." Vanessa sighed, took another drink, and sat up straighter. "Alright, please explain so I can know how worried I should be."

"It's not like that," Pansy said. "Harry will never leave me. And I won't leave him either."

"God, I hope not," Vanessa replied. "You remember my cousin, right? She was dating this bloke named Jeremy a few years ago. They seemed to really fit together nicely. Then, one day he suggested they have a menage, and after a couple of weeks of talking up the idea, they got drunk together and tried it out. Well, a week later, she was crying on this very couch because he'd dumped her for the other woman. I really don't want to see that happen to you."

"You don't understand." Pansy wanted to comfort her friend, and after a moment of thinking she realized how she could do it. "Dobby?"

The elf popped in and Vanessa jumped back in shock briefly. "What can Dobby do for you, mistress?"

"I need to show Vanessa the paper for when Harry came back."

"Of course!" He vanished with another pop.

"He knows what you mean, just from that?" Vanessa asked.

"Dobby is magically in tune with us because we're his family," she began to explain. "It would probably work to some extent with any house elf, but the way the three of us have bonded together has forged something even stronger, I think. Anyway-"

Dobby reappeared with the Daily Prophet in his hands. "Here it is! One of the Great Harry Potter's most amazing deeds!"

Pansy chuckled and took the newspaper, scooting over next to Vanessa to show off the moving picture on the front page. The headline screamed out about the Boy Who Lived Again as Harry fell to the killing curse, then got right back up and returned fire at the Dark Lord.

"What is this?" Vanessa asked as she stared at the picture.

"Remember how we told you about Harry miraculously becoming the only survivor of the killing curse when he was a baby?"

"That's how he got that scar."

"Exactly," Pansy nodded before she pointed to the green spell just as it hit him. "This is the second time Harry was hit by that curse. When he falls there, he died. He died, he spoke with Death, and then he came back- for me. You need to understand this- even with magic, we don't have a way to bring back the dead. And yet, Harry did it anyway. He did it all for me."

"Bugger me," Vanessa gasped as she looked at the picture again and began reading the story. "No wonder you said he's so famous."

"Yep," Pansy smiled. "That's why I had no fears about having a threesome. Well, sort of a threesome anyway- it's not like I wanted to sleep with Parvati myself, but I knew it could be fun to tease her and torment her a bit, and I wanted to do something special for Harry's birthday. Seventeen is when magical people come of age, you see, so it was-"

"Wait a minute." Vanessa held up her hand and continued skimming the article briefly before setting it aside. "Okay, let me focus again, and you can tell me everything. You and Harry had a threesome with a friend?"

"Parvati's had a huge crush on Harry for a long time," Pansy smirked. "And I got the added satisfaction of having Harry ruin her for other men."

Vanessa rolled her eyes at that. "I know you've said Harry is good in bed, but-"

"Trust me," she laughed. "On top of being very attentive, he has a literally magical tongue. Plus, Parvati was openly desperate for him. Remember how you told me about when you fell for Steven when you were a teenager? Imagine being obsessed with him for two or three years and then losing your virginity to him in mind blowing, toe curling fashion, having orgasms that leave you screaming."

"Oh... that's..." Vanessa took a sip of wine and grew flushed.

"Yes, and it was funny to watch, and I got to exercise my dominant bitchy side at the same time," Pansy said with a grin. "That's not really what I'm wondering about as much though. You see, Luna found out and she put on this whole act where she cried and-"

"Let me guess, she wanted to do it too?" Vanessa groaned.

"Exactly." Pansy tasted her wine as well, holding her thought for a moment in part to see the reaction.

"So... did you?"

"I was so proud that she'd learned to cry on cue," Pansy giggled. "But yes, Luna wanted a threesome. And it was more of a threesome because she is very into girls. In fact, I think she might slightly prefer girls over guys, now that I think about it. But she loves Harry and I, so she thought it would be perfect to sleep with her best friends. So we did."

"Just once?" Vanessa wondered.

"No," she admitted. "Plenty of times. In a way, it was nice to have someone else to help keep up with Harry's insane libido. I'm just trying to decide what I should expect for the future."

"You've got me stumped," Vanessa replied.

"Luna told us she wanted to date someone this year at school," Pansy said. "Part of me is happy for her, but another part of me is really worried about someone trying to take advantage of her. Also, I'm sort of surprised that she didn't just want to keep sleeping with Harry and me."

"Maybe she does," Vanessa shrugged. "Maybe she doesn't know how to try to deal with that, so she's looking for someone for herself instead. Or, maybe she enjoyed getting some experience with people she trusted, so now she'll have more confidence with others."

"That's possible, I suppose," Pansy allowed the thought to sink in. Luna would be more self assured now, although she wasn't sure if that had really been a problem before.

"Do you want to sleep with her again?" Vanessa asked.

Pansy started to answer and then stopped herself. "I don't know. I have a feeling we will end up doing it again someday. Luna's just..."

"How did Harry handle all this? Has he been different lately?"

Pansy snorted. "Harry was already convinced that I'm the greatest wife ever. But when that woman at the bar asked him, he had zero interest. He told me he had enjoyed having fun with our friends this summer, but he didn't want to fuck any strangers. It was different with Parvati and Luna."

"I hope you're right," Vanessa sighed. "This all sounds like a mess waiting to happen to me."

"There was already a lot of intimacy with Luna," Pansy tried to explain. "I mean, she had watched us together before and-"

"Watched you? Do you mean, like voyeurism?"

"Yes," Pansy giggled. "I had been teasing Harry and I was feeling a little kinky and-"

"Hold that thought." Vanessa finished her glass of wine and stood up. "I have a feeling I'm going to need another drink."


Meanwhile in Scotland...

Luna had been having a fairly nice if ordinary beginning to her sixth year at Hogwarts. There hadn't been any crazy excitement without Harry there (the poor trouble magnet), but she supposed that her NEWT studies would probably start eating up her time, and judging by the essay about Conjuration she was working on there was going to be a lot of work to do. The library wasn't too busy that evening as it seemed like most people were still getting used to being back in school.

"Lovegood? What are you working on?"

Romilda Vane was the person who had distracted her, and wasn't that just too amusing? She'd been one of Harry's fangirls, which was understandable really, but they weren't in the same year and she'd also never spoken to Luna before.

Still, no reason to be rude, Luna thought. "It's about Conjuration. Though not due for a few more days, I'd like to get it done this evening so I can enjoy the weather outside tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh," Romilda said as she sat down opposite her. "I'm rather weak at Transfiguration, so I doubt I'll have to do that next year. I like Charms better anyway."

"Flitwick is a good teacher," Luna agreed. "Do you need something?"

"Is it true you got an Outstanding in Defense?"

"Of course," she answered with a smile. Even a year removed from Harry's tutelage, it was still one of her strongest classes.

"Could you help me with it?" Romilda asked. "Professor Watts isn't too hard to follow most of the time, but he's been emphasizing the Shield Charm lately and I'm having some trouble."

"Alright." Luna supposed it wouldn't be too hard to do that. And Romilda was rather pretty too, so that was always a plus. "I need a little time to finish this, but we could go practice in an empty classroom once I'm done."

"Thanks," Romilda smiled, sitting up rather straight. Luna couldn't help but notice how perky she was... in more ways than one.

"You're welcome."

Luna got back to work and Romilda quietly pulled out a book of her own. As she had said, it didn't take too long to write the rest of her assignment- she'd already read through the section of the book she was referencing, so other than double checking a name and date, it was pretty much the usual for her course work so far.

As she set the parchment aside to dry for a moment and shut the book in front of her, Romilda asked, "Finished already?"

"We can go study together in just a moment," Luna agreed. "Let me put these things away and then we can go."

"I know a room one floor up we can use."

"Alright."

They left together and Luna pondered the girl next to her as she began to chat about her dorm mates and what they had done over the summer. Bullies hadn't bothered her in more than three years, but she supposed that it was possible this could be some sort of set up.

"I heard you had a more exciting summer," Romilda said as they climbed the stairs up, briefly turning to smirk at her. "Rumors say you spent a few weeks with the Potters."

"We got to see Niagara Falls," Luna answered. "Of course, we also went to the beach, the park, out dancing- but we'd done those things before. But I always spend time with Harry and Pansy during our vacations. They're my best friends."

"That wasn't exactly the excitement I meant," Romilda giggled as she opened a door and peered inside. "Okay, it's not in use right now."

Luna shut the door behind her and cast a quick cleaning spell before setting her bag down. She had a feeling that she knew exactly what Romilda wanted to talk about, but it might be amusing to play dumb at first. "What do you mean then?"

"I mean... you know," she blushed. "They're saying that you slept with Harry."

"I slept with Harry and Pansy," Luna corrected her. "Technically, I've slept with them before. But, this was the first time we had sex, if that's what you're alluding to."

"You really did?" Romilda grinned. "What was it like?"

"Wonderful," Luna replied serenely. "I think it was pretty ideal really, to do something like that with the people I love the most, and they were both a lot of fun to finally get to play with them in the bedroom together. Shall we work on the Shield Charm though?"

"Oh, yeah right," Romilda said, taking a few steps further away to give them some room to work.

"Practice makes perfect," Luna said, and she was fairly sure Vane wasn't focusing on the magic they were about to do but instead her daydreams about Harry. "The incantation is Protego and I find that it helps a bit to focus on a defensive or protective feeling before you try to cast the spell when you're still trying to get the hang of it."

"Sure, that makes sense," Romilda nodded as she flicked her wrist a couple of times.

"I'll watch as you cast the spell first, and once you think you're ready, I'll cast something simple that you can try to block," Luna suggested. "Sound good?"

"Yeah, sure."

They spent a few minutes casting the spell together, and Luna gave a few more pointers as Romilda continued practicing it. Eventually, they moved on to Luna casting to disarm while Romilda got ready to block it.

"Protego!"

She was a little loud, but the enthusiasm sometimes seemed to help people so Luna let it be as she slowly attacked again and again while Romilda defended herself. It was on the seventh try before she failed to get the shield up in time and fell back on the ground.

Luna came over to help her up and hand back her wand, noticing how Romilda was huffing and puffing, with a bead of sweat running down her forehead. "You're doing pretty well. Professor Watts would be pleased by this amount of skill I would think."

"Well, I appreciate the help," Romilda said as she took the offered hand and pulled herself back to her feet.

They were close together when Romilda stood and Luna gave her a little smile. "You're welcome."

Romilda returned it with a slight blush. "Could you tell me what it was like?"

"Was what like?" Luna knew exactly what she meant, but she liked seeing the cute expressions the other girl made.

"Sex with Harry."

"Well, we've been friends for a long time, you know," she began to reminisce. "Being older, Pansy was very helpful as someone I could talk to about things while I went through puberty, especially as I lost my mum several years ago. I could talk to my dad of course, but it's different being able to talk to a girl, and Pansy was very open to talking about things like sex when it was just the two of us.

"Harry was helpful too, in his own way," Luna added.

"Yeah, but what about..."

"The juicy details?" Luna suggested with a grin as Romilda flushed and nodded silently. "Well... it's getting a bit late. Why don't we meet tomorrow night somewhere and then we could talk about it? If you want."

Romilda exhaled. "I think I'd like that. And thank you for all the help tonight."

"You're welcome," Luna grinned and gave the other girl a quick hug. It caught Romilda a bit off guard but she returned it for a second. "Good night and sweet dreams."