Xiao kept telling himself that it was only one night, no more; that was how long he had to endure the Harbinger for.
When Aether told him about the invitation, he'd been ready to decline, until the Traveler added the detail that it was Zhongli's idea, despite Childe paying for everything. There weren't many people going, so Xiao supposed he'd be able to tolerate it, for the former Archon's sake. It was only fair, after all.
It was relatively late at night and they had booked a table at Xinyue Kiosk. Besides their group, the place was empty, and that greatly helped with Xiao's uneasiness; the murmurs of people talking about an adeptus in a restaurant would've been unbearable.
He didn't care about what others thought of him, but one thing he did not enjoy was being the center of attention, especially when there were mortals involved. There was only one exception, and that was the girl sitting next to him on the table.
It was… nice; the only one at the table that could ever match her energy was the Harbinger—even the floating imp found her strange—but Hu Tao kept most of her focus on him, choosing topics that she knew would get him to talk, like which Almond Tofu he preferred, for example.
It went by smoothly, much to his surprise. Although he conversed mostly with the parlor's director, he exchanged a few words with Aether, Ganyu and Zhongli as well, who was the one that regarded him directly the majority of times. It still somehow felt like everyone at the table left him and Hu Tao alone, but he didn't mind in the slightest.
"Try this! Maybe you'll like it," she told him, holding up a small portion of her dish with the chopsticks, a hand underneath. Xiao turned to her and simply raised an eyebrow in her direction. She seemed to understand what he was silently saying, clicking her tongue.
"Aiyah, who do you think I am? Xinqiu? I'm not giving you Jueyun Chilis! This cuisine is all about light flavors, too." He didn't know much about Xinqiu nor did he care about the different cuisines, but he complied nonetheless with a sigh, leaning over to take the bite.
"So?" She was expecting his reaction, he could tell, with the insistence once he had swallowed.
"The flavor is… adequate. It's the texture that strikes me as odd," he replied and Hu Tao nodded with a hum, seemingly making a mental note about it.
"Oh, woooow," Aether's voice came in, making the two turn to him. Xiao didn't like the grin on the Traveler's face, and Paimon attempting to not laugh was even more worrying.
"It's hard for me to get Xiao to eat something else other than Almond Tofu, but you managed to convince him without breaking a sweat," he commented, with a horribly fake innocent voice.
"Hee hee. That's because, if I gave him something he definitely wouldn't like on purpose, he would kill me on the spot," Hu Tao replied nonchalantly.
"Oh, so you know what he likes."
"Yeah."
"And you're keeping tabs on the food he enjoys."
"Yep."
Xiao knew they would keep at it, with Aether clearly trying to fluster Hu Tao, but with her proudly confirming every assumption the blond made, so he focused on his food. Or, that was what he wanted to do, but he caught the other three people looking at the exchange with smiles on their faces. Ganyu looked down at her plate the second their gazes met, Zhongli chuckled, but Childe… The Harbinger's smile changed into a smirk.
"Anyways, everyone," the ginger stood up from the table, drawing attention to himself. "I actually managed to get the ingredients to make local Snezhnayan drinks! I'll be right back with a batch."
Hu Tao let out a small but excited 'ooooh'; she'd never tried anything from Snezhnaya before. Childe didn't take long to distribute the drinks—non-alcoholic for everyone except him and Zhongli—and she didn't take long to try it out.
It was strange, no doubt about that, and a little… funny, but it was still pretty good. Looking to the side, she noticed Xiao staring at his drink, eyes narrowed lightly.
"Xiao, it's not poisoned, come on," she whispered with a snicker, elbowing his arm.
"He's a member of the Fatui. You never know," he whispered back and Hu Tao rolled her eyes.
"Zhongli wouldn't let him live to tell the tale! There is no way he would do such a thing, and the drink is weird but nice! Mild flavor," she reassured him, nodding towards the glass in front of him. Xiao took a hesitant sip and… judging by his face, slightly widened eyes and the lick of his lips, he actually enjoyed it.
Throughout the rest of the night, they finished their plates with a bunch of rounds of Childe's beverages. Xiao even ordered more than a couple, and she did too; everyone did. Hu Tao was surprised, however, when Xiao abruptly stood up, chair creaking behind him.
"I need some fresh air. Excuse me," and with those words, he left the building. Hu Tao frowned and without wasting a second, she stood up as well.
"Me too."
And she left. She needed a breather as well, no lies there, because each new drink tasted funnier than the last, and it was becoming increasingly hot inside. The adeptus was sitting on the stairs, eyes closed and one hand rubbing his forehead.
With the grace of a dying duck, she sat down next to him, arms on her knees.
"You didn't leave for fresh air, did you?" she asked without skipping a beat, wide grin on her face. She felt oddly happy at the moment.
"I couldn't stand Childe's staring," Xiao replied, words slurring enough for her to notice, and his voice an octave lower. Hot, she thought.
"Ah, I see," she said, also making her voice lower, trying to sound serious but she erupted in a bundle of small laughs.
"Why are you so… giggly all of a sudden?" Xiao inquired as he dropped his hand, leaning it on his lap. Hu Tao poked his cheek, but he didn't scoff or pull away.
"You make me happy, of course!"
It was the truth; Xiao made her very happy. He made her feel appreciated and seen, like she could be herself without any shame whatsoever. Supposedly everyone hated her, couldn't stand her sense of humor and her unique oddness, but he had chuckled at her jokes more than once. He cared for her in a way nobody else alive today did.
With a deep breath, she leaned on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Gods, it was still warm, even out here, or was that just her? Or him? Xiao was warm, she knew thanks to the fact he'd saved her a couple of times, cradling her in his arms protectively.
Hu Tao smiled at the memory, and snuggled closer to him, her head turning towards his neck.
"You smell nice…" Hu Tao mumbled after a few seconds, her warm breath hitting his skin and sending a shiver down his spine. Xiao was aware he should've moved right then and there, but he didn't want to. No, every second that passed by made it harder for him to resist the urge of claiming her.
"I bet you taste nice, too," she chuckled sloppily, caressing his neck with her lips, which wouldn't cause such a reaction, but heat and desire were starting to invade Xiao's body and thoughts, slowly pooling at the bottom of his stomach.
Nuzzling him, Hu Tao followed an invisible thread that led to his lips, but she didn't close the gap. His heart pulled him to her as he lightly turned his head in her direction, eyeing her lips with hunger. It was tempting, too tempting, having her a mere inch away.
Adepti had no desire, but this girl—she awoke something in him that he hadn't felt in a long time, a yearning that was addicting to only think about, and he couldn't even begin to imagine what having her would do to him.
She was so full of light and he didn't want to take that away from her, but he also wanted her. That night his desires came forth, with the two of them alone in the quiet streets of the harbor and his mind clearly not in the right place at the moment, he figured… why not give in once and once only? Be able to taste a drop of happiness, and let that be enough.
Xiao leaned in the rest of the way, giving her a shy, chaste kiss. He didn't need to see to know she relaxed, nearly sighing into it, but he didn't give her much time to return the gesture, seeing as he pulled away just as quickly.
It should've been enough, and gods, did it feel heavenly; her lips were soft and warm, and like the rest of her, they calmed down the chaos in his mind with ease. He let his imagination wander, picturing her on a bed under him, calling, moaning his name—
One night.
He could have her for one night.
Cupping her cheek, he leaned back in to capture her lips in a more passionate kiss before she could say anything, savoring her softness like a famished man. The small whimper she released almost made him groan; he found it difficult to believe she affected him so much by doing so little, but for tonight, he would drink up her sounds instead of ignoring their effect and he would make sure Celestia heard her.
Her hands gripped onto his shirt for a second or two, before she roamed his chest and stomach, and then went back up to hug his neck. Without wasting a second, she mounted his lap, straddling him as she messed with his hair while he placed his hands on her hips. With a grin, she shifted on her place, eliciting a groan out of him.
"Already? Needy, are we?" she asked, feeling his growing excitement through their clothes. He huffed and nibbled her earlobe, his hand slowly moving to the middle of her legs and pressing against her core with his thumb, forcing Hu Tao to cover her mouth with her hand. Otherwise, everyone inside would've heard her cry.
"Hypocrite," he murmured back, his glove now slightly damp from her. This guy—who knew he had a tease hidden in him all this time? She wasn't complaining, oh of course not, on the contrary, she felt as if her heart was about to burst out of her chest.
She moved so they were facing each other, and stuck her tongue out at him, deeming it proper revenge for teasing her. He didn't seem to be phased and instead applied pressure once more, though this time, he muffled her gasp with his mouth.
Xiao placed one arm around her waist and the other on her upper back, turning them around so she'd be under him on the pavement. At least, that was what she expected to feel; cold, hard floor. Instead, she was met with something soft, with the scent of Qingxin she'd come to love invading her nostrils immediately.
In other circumstances, she would've questioned where he'd taken them, but her mind was elsewhere, focused on his hands and his tongue and his hips. He took off her hat, placing it aside with utmost care; he knew, she remembered, he knew how much that hat meant to her and even now he was treating it like a precious thing. Really, it was impossible not to love him. Amidst passionate kisses, they undressed each other, until they were left in their underwear.
Xiao pulled away once her shirt and coat were off, and to her, it almost looked like he was inspecting her; his expression as neutral as ever, though the reddened lips and flushed face took away any intimidating aspect he could've had. He kept himself up with one hand, while the other began to ghost over her skin and her body, and without the gloves she could feel the callouses he had from fighting.
He traced her jawline before slowly making his way down to her collarbone, thumb caressing with a feather-like touch. If she didn't know any better, Hu Tao would've said he was scared of touching her, holding her, like she would break at any given moment. That couldn't be right, could it?
His movement stopped near her chest and for what felt like an eternity, he just stared at her form and more than ever she wished she could read his mind, because what she was seeing in his eyes couldn't be real; adoration, disbelief, hunger. Her fingers twitched, the sudden urge to hide herself coming to the front of her mind.
Xiao seemed to notice, gaze flicking upwards to meet her eyes for a second only to glance back down, his hand making its way to her back, and she arched her spine in response. A silent request, she figured, and she nodded hesitantly. With an expertise that honestly scared her, he took off her bra, tossing it aside with the rest of their clothes.
Exposed. Vulnerable. Weak.
He thumbed the bottom of one of her breasts as he searched for her lips again, slow, gentle, reassuring. Xiao peppered kisses on her jawline, down to her neck, and she almost missed what he said.
"Beautiful."
Open. Free. Yours.
Cupping one of her breasts and playing with her peak, Xiao latched onto her skin and sucked, cherishing the moan that he got out of her. Longing for more, he chose more spots around her neck to kiss, bite and mark, with Hu Tao soon bringing her hands up to his hair, tugging on his locks for what he hoped was a request for more.
Just as his hand had done moments earlier, he explored her skin, leaving a trail of wet kisses on fragile porcelain, stopping on the breast he'd left unattended. Without warning, he bit down on the mound, licking the soon-to-be bruise when she moaned his name.
A mark only he would know about, a sense of security that she trusted him and gave herself to him; her body, soul and mind.
Mine.
Xiao circled her areola with his tongue, closing his eyes while he archived her voice, tender and sweet, in the back of his mind, ragged breaths becoming uneven and nervous as he trailed lower, dotingly kissing her stomach. A whine left her lips when he grazed her underwear with his lips.
"What are you waiting for?" she asked breathlessly, tugging on his hair again as a demand, clearly trying to sound annoyed but achieving the opposite; she sounded desperate. He kissed her inner thigh, shutting her up effortlessly, and almost ripped her clothing apart as he pulled it down. Her scent hit his nostrils and Xiao sighed, his breath on her core causing Hu Tao to attempt to close her legs.
He brought his hands up to her thighs, grasping and pulling them apart, leaving her open for him. She whimpered, the sound morphing into a surprised moan when he flicked her nub with his tongue, testing the waters. Xiao kissed along her folds, light and soft, teasing her entrance with the intention of helping her get used to him.
Hu Tao's hold on his hair tightened and he got the hint, indulging and entering her slowly, holding her legs apart firmly as he caressed her skin with his thumb reassuringly. He stroked her walls, tasting her slick like the sweetest of desserts, and with his nose he would occasionally hit her bundle of nerves.
A bouquet of words, his name—his name—being moaned loudly at the ceiling, the tone and purpose different each time, her voice filling the silence and satiating his desire for her, for her pleasure and her happiness. Hesitant and craving, urgent and affectionate.
She was close to tipping over the edge, he realized, when her hands trembled on his head and her noises were near breathless and silent. Xiao pushed further into her, helping her reach her high. When he was sure she was a second away, he retreated.
"Wha— Xiaooo!" she chastised him immediately with a whine.
"I'm sorry."
He wasn't sorry.
"You're not sorry!"
And she knew.
Licking her slick off his lips, he positioned himself over her again, pecking her forehead before admiring his work. Her blush adorned even her shoulders, her chest was rising in erratic breaths, and she had a pout on her face coupled with a frown. Some of her hair stuck to the sides of her face due to her sweat, her lips were swollen and her cheeks were flushed.
She was a complete mess.
A mess he found absolutely breathtaking.
"Why did you do that?" she asked him, trying to steady her breathing.
"To mess with you."
"Oh, you—"
Xiao positioned himself between her legs and the warmth that barely touched her entrance made her bite on her bottom lip. He remained still and unmoving, teasing her again, so she took it upon herself to try and meet him, moving her hips forwards.
Of course, he held her and kept her from it. Hu Tao huffed.
"Tell me what you want," it wasn't an order, he wasn't pushing her, but it was still commanding. Frankly, she didn't know what to reply to that, and so she found herself closing her eyes. What did she want?
Right now, it was painfully obvious, scalding desires aching within her, her entire body on fire, waiting for sweet release. Was that what he wanted her to say?
I want your di—
When she felt his hand on her forehead, she opened her eyes and saw Xiao moving strands of hair out of face, lingering above her, expecting a response. The kiss he gave her was brief, yet it carried sentiments she wished she could hope for.
She wanted him to kiss her outside of the room, she wanted to greet the next day with someone to love by her side, unspoken feelings itching at her, tickling her heart. Did Xiao love her? If he didn't, why was his touch so careful and gentle, why was she panting on his bed, naked under him?
If he did… why didn't he just say so?
"You," she whispered finally, feeling her lips quirk into a smile. "All of you."
Heart and body.
It was the confession she would allow herself to give him, fearing something else would end the night, end the fantasy of something more than 'pleasures of the flesh', as he would call it.
She felt his fingers twitch as they held her skin, his breath hitching for a second a moment before he let her go, placing one forearm next to her head whilst his other hand traced her humble curves.
"Let me know if it hurts," he mumbled and she nodded, wrapping her arms around him when he hid his face in the crook of her neck. Xiao then pressed against her, inside her, and she gasped at the intrusion, feeling tears prickling the corners of her eyes.
"W-Wait," she panted the second he tried to move deeper, her toes curling and her entire body tensing up, trying to accommodate to the stretch. He stopped immediately, pulling away from her neck to look at her with what seemed to be concern. It was hard to tell in the dark.
"Are you alright?" he asked her, the tiny hint of fear in his tone tugging at her heartstrings. Hu Tao giggled breathlessly at the thought of Xiao showing emotion, but soon she grimaced at the slight discomfort between her legs. A wave of pleasure shot through her as well, a soundless moan leaving her mouth.
"I'm fine, fine. It's just. You know. I've never done this before and it's… big? I don't know, I guess. I mean— It's like, that's not a bad thing, but like, I'm notmmph?!" He stopped her ramblings with a kiss, nipping her bottom lip for a second before he pulled away, leaving her with her mouth open waiting for more. Gods, what a tease.
"You talk too much," he stated, amusement dripping in his voice, and she closed her eyes then, wishing those words were saying something else. Maybe, in reality, they meant what she wanted them to and her mind conjured up the response.
I love you, too.
"And you don't talk enough," she said instead, rendering him speechless, before saying something that would probably ruin the night, no matter if it was the truth. Who knew how Xiao would react if she told him she loved him. It was likely he would leave, and the thought hurt.
Just—
Just one night.
She could pretend he loved her for one night.
Besides, what she did end up saying was also true. He didn't talk enough for her to know stuff, to know what he was thinking. Then again, his voice was unusually expressive, that should be enough for her. Was it? Kind of.
Xiao still didn't utter a word, patiently waiting for her to adjust to the feeling of fullness. With a deep breath, he saw her nod, eyes closed again and he resumed his movement, eyeing her face in case there was any sign of pain or discomfort.
He was panting lightly, and when his hips were flush with hers, he placed his forehead against her own, breaths warm and heavy mingling with each other. Giving her another moment, he reveled in the sensation of her around him, bodies joined as one and tied together by an invisible string that would break with the first rays of sunlight.
Bucking her hips, she drew a moan out of him and Xiao began moving, careful and slow at first, pulling his hips away before sliding back in.
In a million years would he have imagined he'd be holding her bare under his arms, kissing her with abandon and drowning in love and heat and her. An addictive dream that he would never get enough of and that he would treasure until the end of his days. Archons, it felt like she reciprocated his feelings, their hearts bleeding and aching for one another, and it hurt they would glimpse at their fates together for a night only.
He picked up the pace, raw want driving his movements and his mind, and he made no effort to silence her sounds, tasting each of them as they mixed with his own, calling her name. Xiao moved to the valley between her breasts, nipping at the skin gently.
Hu Tao clung onto him, nails digging into the skin of his back, holding onto the feeling of loving and feeling loved. She moaned, cried and whimpered with every thrust, finally being able to say his name without holding back the adoration in her voice.
"Xiao… I—" he cut her off by marking her for the nth time that night, suckling on her skin before gently kissing the same spot, a completely different rhythm and feeling to that of the movement of his hips, quick and rough, heated yet somehow careful. Loving.
Pulling him in for a kiss, she hated that it tasted like a goodbye. A kiss full of I love you and don't stop and don't leave. Flying too high entailed falling from a great height, and the impact meant she'd have to go back to pretending she wasn't affected by every little thing he did, the smallest of gestures making her heart skip a beat and reminding her why she fell in love in the first place.
Her head was swimming in pleasure and she felt dizzy, inebriated, a sense of déjà vu hitting her; she was nearing her high again and at least this time he showed no intention of stopping.
"More…" she moaned and he shifted a little in his place, searching for an angle that hit a pleasure point within her that had her seeing stars, crying into the night. She finally tipped over the edge, climaxing around him and Xiao groaned against her lips, slowing down to help her through the fall.
She was relentless, bucking her hips again once she had recovered, wanting him to reach his release as well. Xiao didn't think about it twice, clearly, and resumed his previous rhythm, shaking her to the bone. How would they ever forget this night? Xiao cradled her with something more than just carnal desire, kissed her like he meant it.
How would she pretend he didn't love her after all of this?
"Tao," he whispered her name like it was holy, something he was only allowed to say with intent, with love and care. The single word tasted sweet in his mouth and Xiao wondered why he didn't say it more often, usually opting for her full name, if he ever said her name in the first place. Names were personal, intimate. Just as she moaned his, he tried hers again, coming out as a frustrated groan, frustrated at the fact that he wouldn't be able to savor her syllable the same way again once the night was over,
"Tao."
She trembled under him as she sighed in pleasure, her fingers running down his back, making Xiao nearly growl at the sensation of her nails. It brought him a strange sense of satisfaction, that she was hugging him, melting under him, saying his name with her body coming undone because of him. He kissed her cheek, nuzzling the same spot when she leaned into the gesture, before she gave his shoulder small kisses with trembling lips.
Xiao pulled away to look her in the eyes, crimson red glazed over with desire and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on. It didn't take him long to lean in, silencing her sudden giggle. One of his hands searched for her chest, palming one breast gently and at the moan he managed to get out of her, he deepened the kiss.
Hu Tao was precious, beautiful, both strength and happiness incarnate, and he was determined to show her—just for one night—how much she meant to him, how much he actually loved her.
