Rubbing a hand over his face tiredly, James resisted the urge to simply cut Dumbledore off as the man droned on about the actions they had taken on their latest mission and how he really shouldn't have involved either Sirius or the Prewett brothers as they had no idea who the spy was.

It also didn't help that an unease had began to gather in his gut halfway through the bollocks meeting and Dumbledore's continued insistence of doubting his friends was not helping his patience any.

"They're not the spy."

"You really don't know that, my boy. The truth is that we have no idea who the traitor is and until we do, we must take caution and be careful," Dumbledore said. "We simply cannot afford to jeopardise our position by revealing our individual missions to others. We can never know where the spy is listening in."

"I'm not discussing my missions in the middle of the street, I discussed it with Sirius behind closed doors and based upon our shared believes, we brought in the twins."

"Any one of them could be the spy."

He snorted. "Are you seriously suggesting Sirius could be a spy? Sirius?"

"He is a descendant of the Blacks, my dear boy. I know you believe he is not like them and I wish to believe the same thing, but his actions truly have been strange lately."

"Such as?"

"He has been seen in locations where the Blacks and their acquaintances are known to have been too, and the viciousness with which he fights is not becoming of one on our side, James."

"So because he doesn't follow your stupid rule of not permanently taking down Death Eaters, he's a dark wizard?" He scoffed. "Then I suppose the Longbottoms, Prewetts and both Lily and I are also Death Eaters? Because none of us follow that insane view and we take our opponents down permanently when needed."

"I wish you would reconsider taking lives at any point, we must be better than those we are fighting," Dumbledore sighed, looking at him from over his glasses.

"Really? The Bones', Fenwick, hell even Robert McGonagall, the only reason they were killed is because we are always one step behind the Death Eaters and most of the Order keeps fighting with the intent to disarm instead of incapacitate. Travers and his goonies slaughtered McKinnon and her family; her two kid brothers, because we did not take him out permanently when we had the chance, that's on us, on you."

"James..."

"No, we've decided we are done playing by your rules and watching our friends be slaughtered. We get the chance to take them down? We will take it."

"That is bordering on being a Death Eater yourself, James. Think carefully of what you are saying."

"We don't take down innocents, we kill the monsters who go after them," feeling his temper flare, James took a calming breath. "If keeping our friends, family and innocents safe, then I don't care if I'm taking lives to do so. Anything to keep them from harming others as the Ministry has shown more than once how incompetent they are."

"You will come to regret that stance before the end, my dear boy," Dumbledore said. "Your soul will suffer for your actions."

"If keeping my loved ones safe means darkening my soul, then so be it. As for Sirius, I'm getting real tired of the way people are doubting his integrity."

"Even you must admit that he has been acting strangely lately and I worry…."

James couldn't help but stare at his old headmaster in disbelief. "Our parents were murdered less than two months ago, Sirius was nearly killed trying to protect Harry. Then because you half arsed providing us with information on our next mission, Sirius risked his life to come save us before he was properly recovered and he had to take several lives to protect us and yet you wonder why he's acting strange?"

"James..."

"No, this ends here. I don't care what you're thinking or what goes on in that old brain of yours, but Sirius is not and never will be either a spy or a traitor. There is no one in this world I trust more than Sirius and I would sooner die than allow any of you to disrespect him and everything he's done for the Order like this," he sneered.

"I didn't mean to imply…."

"Yes, you did and I'm not having it. You say one more bad thing about him and I will hex the living daylight out of you, your status be damned and I am absolutely sure there's more than a few members who will be right behind me," tossing the roll of parchment he'd been holding back onto the desk, he met the blue eyes. "This meeting is over."

"James…."

Ignoring Dumbledore calling after him, James left his office and was making his way down the spiral staircase when the earlier unease suddenly choked him with its intensity, every fibre in his being screaming at him that something was wrong.

It was second nature by now to focus on the feeling, allowing Prongs' instincts to wash over him and surprised, he realised he could pick up Sirius' presence in the castle and his heart leaped in his throat as he knew his brother was supposed to be on a mission.

Hurrying down the hallway towards the familiar presence, he felt his mirror pulse with an urgent message but ignored it in favour of getting to Sirius.

Ignoring the students hurrying past him to their classes, he ran through the hallways towards the kitchens before it occurred to him that perhaps it would be wise to read the message in case it had to do with the distress he could feel pouring off of his brother.

Slowing down to a brisk walk, he pulled his mirror out and tapped on the message indicator; dread increasing as he read the short message from Lily indicating there had been an attack and that Sirius, although uninjured, had taken off without warning.

It told him that someone they cared for had obviously died and he immediately tapped the reflective image with his wand. "Lily."

Almost immediately his wife picked up, her worried face appearing in the small mirror with Alice right behind her. "James! Have you seen Sirius?"

"No, but I'm on my way to him now. What happened?"

"The twins are dead," Remus spoke up from behind her and his heart plummeted, grief washing over him at the information.

"How?"

"There was an attack, the others arrived to find the Dark Mark over the house and there was a brief confrontation but it was already too late. Fabian died in Sirius' arms and he just took off before Frank or Remus could stop him," Lily told him urgently. "He's not responding to his mirror and I don't know where to find him."

She looked close to tears so James forced his grief down. "I am on my way to him now."

"He contacted you?"

"No, but I know where he is," there was only one place Sirius would go when James was unavailable and he had no doubt where he'd find him.

"Where?"

"In the only place he's ever felt completely safe when he can't reach me, give me a moment and I'll confirm it for you," taking a deep calming breath to collect himself, James entered the kitchen to find it surprisingly quiet as the House-elves looked up but didn't fall over themselves to serve him.

None of them spoke as an older House-elf simply pointed to the elf quarters, clearly having expected him and he struggled for a moment to remember her name.

"Thank you Moky. May I?"

At the little elf's sorrow filled nod, he made his way to the secret entrance; nodding to the equally distressed looking elves who moved to give him a clear path and taking another calming breath, he entered their private quarters.

He was unsurprised to find his brother curled up in a corner with Peeves and Pippy, swallowing thickly as the distress was palpable from all the way across the room, making it no wonder all the House-elves were affected by his grief.

Peeves was half shielding his brother from sight and trying to decide how to best approach the clearly protective Poltergeist, he briefly focused back on the mirror.

"I've got him, he's safe with Peeves and me. I'll contact you when he's ready to come back home."

Realisation filled Lily's eyes and she facepalmed, clearly unable to believe she hadn't thought of Peeves herself. "All right, take care of him."

"Will do," locking down the connection he returned the mirror to his pocket as he made his way over and knelt before them, but before he could think of what to say, dark eyes turned to him.

"James," the Poltergeist has never looked more miserable as he shifted, allowing him access to Sirius without comment and he sucked in a sharp breath as he properly took his brother's appearance in.

The blood drying on his clothes was a scary sight, but the empty look in his bloodshot eyes frightened him much more and he shuffled forward to wrap an arm around his brother. "Siri…."

But there was no response and swallowing, James pulled him to his feet, biting his lip as Sirius meekly allowed him to do so. "Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?"

Leading his brother to the bathroom, he tried to decide on where to start as there truly was blood all over him.

One half of his face was covered in caked blood while there was a half dried bloody handprint on his other cheek, only partly washed away by no doubt his own tears and he carefully reached out to brush away the tear tracks clinging to his lower lashes.

"Let's get you out of those clothes first," Sirius remained like a puppet in his hands and suddenly needing him to be clean right then and there, he gently began to pull his clothes off; trying not to squirm as the half dried blood flaked off as he used his wand to cut off the salvageable shirt.

"Here are clean clothes for you both," Peeves' soft voice made him pause, wincing as his action made more caked blood fall from the ruined shirt and he looked up to see the Poltergeist place a bundle of clothing on the closest surface.

"Thank you."

Giving a single nod Peeves floated away to give them privacy; leaving him alone with a clearly shell-shocked Sirius and he refocused on removing the filthy clothes.

Once he had him undressed, he gently pushed him into the shower. "It's going to be wet in a moment."

Kicking off his shoes and outer clothing, he stepped under the spray with him as even if Sirius had been responsive, he still wasn't going to leave him to wash what was presumably Fabian's blood off of him by himself.

It took two rounds of washing his hair and richly lathering him with soap before the water no longer turned red and he had to fight back both tears and nausea during the entire process as he could only imagine how gruesome the scene had to have been, but at long last the water was clean and he carefully wrapped Sirius in a large towel to dry him off.

It was terrifying to see his brother remain so meek and unresponsive, barely blinking while normally he'd at least be protesting the overprotective coddling at least a little. But now there was nothing as he just let James manhandle him into the clean clothing before he dressed himself.

Tossing the towels towards the pile of clothing, he caressed the damp hair out of Sirius' face and cupped his cheek and finally tired eyes shifted to meet his own. "James?"

"I'm here," forcing out a smile, he nodded; utterly relieved to finally get a response. "I'm here."

"Where…."

"We're at Hogwarts, in the elf quarters."

"Why..."

"You came here because James was in a meeting with Dumbledore," Peeves' soft voice answered as he returned to the bathroom.

"Right, yeah..." he blinked a few times, still looking a far bit out of it. "I...I need to go back."

"You can't, honey."

"But his legs...I need to find his legs, James," the implication of just what happened was just too horrible to even consider so he shoved all his thoughts down and simply focused on reassuring him.

"They'll find them. Moody will find them and make sure they're taken care of, but you need to take care of you right now."

"I was supposed to be there…." a frown appeared on his face. "Why wasn't I?"

"You were delayed, remember? Dumbledore had some last things he wanted to discuss with your group so you left later than planned."

"I should've been there….help them...if I'd stayed the night..."

James' stomach twisted even as the thought automatically filled his mind as well, wondering if it might've changed anything or if he'd have been left to find his brother's dead body.

"I'm very glad you didn't," Peeves commented before he could find words. "I don't know exactly what happened, but even with your skills, it's unlikely you would've made it out alive."

"Peeves is right," swallowing thickly, James shoved down his own whirling emotions to carefully brush out the short locks before tossing the brush aside and taking his hand again. "You should rest….let everything sink in."

"I don't want to," his voice was so small and distressed, it took all of James' willpower to not burst into tears himself and he was relieved they were at Hogwarts so they at least had privacy. "Please don't leave me..."

"I'm not, I will never leave you," he promised softly as he cupped his face into his hands, gently brushing the tears gathering there away. "You can stay right by my side, all right? Even if you'd rest, I'll be right there."

Nodding, Sirius leaned into his touch and, relieved to finally see him seek his comfort James wrapped his arms around his brother once more.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying right here," he repeated, pressing a kiss to the damp hair as he felt shaking hands curl into the fabric of his shirt as Sirius buried his face into his shoulder.

He wasn't quite sure how long he continued to whisper softly in his brother's ear but eventually the tears stopped and he pulled back to look into Sirius' bloodshot eyes, giving him a soft smile and leaning in to brush a kiss on his forehead.

"Pippy's prepared hot chocolate for us, we can drink it in their quarters," resting a cold hand on both of their shoulders, Peeves guided them to the little table and James pulled Sirius down to sit on the ground beside him while Peeves floated to semi sit across of them as the little chairs were much too small for them to sit on.

Accepting the cup Peeves handed over, James helped Sirius guide his shaking hands to take a sip; warmth immediately spreading over pale cheeks and a little of the tension in his brother vanished as the chocolate did its work.

They drank their drinks in silence before there was a soft knock on the door and Pippy's large brown eyes peeked around the corner. "Siri?"

Sirius immediately sat up straight. "Yeah?"

"Siri's friend is here."

Swallowing thickly, Sirius nodded. "Of course she is, it's all right Pippy."

Nodding, the little elf disappeared again to reveal Pandora as the woman entered the elf quarters; silvery grey eyes immediately focusing on them.

"Oh Siri," she rushed over and Sirius shifted to allow her to throw her arms around him in a hug and James hurried shifted to not be bowled over by them.

Burying her face into his shoulder, Pandora let out a relieved breath as Sirius readily leaned into her embrace before pulling back after a few moments, caressing the still damp fringe out of his eyes.

"I came as soon as Lily asked about your whereabouts."

"How did you know we'd be here?" James couldn't help but smile as the woman scoffed, aware it was stupid he'd even asked as Pandora somehow always knew and she didn't dignify him with an answer as she curled her hand into Sirius' neck to pull him in to press a kiss to his temple before looking up to Peeves. "Hello Peeves."

"Little stray cat," the Poltergeist's greeting made her smile as she took a seat beside them, content to sit in silence until Sirius was ready to speak.

"He asked me to marry him," his brother spoke after a while.

"Yeah?" The news really wasn't as surprising as Sirius clearly thought it was as James had been well aware of Fabian's intentions for years and from the lack of surprise from the other two, he figured they'd known as well.

"I accepted," huffing out a wry laugh, Sirius leaned back against the wall behind him. "I should've said yes before."

"You weren't ready before," if he was completely honest with himself then he had to admit he wasn't entirely sure if Sirius had truly been ready now and he knew Fabian had always known, too, never pressing his brother beyond gentle teasing.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Sirius sighed. "He told me that he loved me and I couldn't say it back."

"Did you want to?" Pandora asked softly.

"I don't know," there was so much conflict and uncertainty in those stormy grey eyes that James couldn't help but wrap an arm around him while Pandora rested a hand on his shoulder. "Yes? I loved him, of course I loved him, he is...was my friend; he was family. But did I love him like he wanted me to?….I don't know."

"For what it's worth, he's always known you loved him in some way."

"How would he? I've never told him."

"Same way we all know you love us, it's in your every action," she squeezed his shoulder. "Even more so with him. You're always smiling when he is...was around and the way you always let him fuss over you while normally you'd pull away from everyone not James when upset or hurt, it would've told him that you loved him even without you saying it."

"I do?"

Forcing a smile on his face as Sirius sought his eyes, James forced down the part of him that wanted to cry at how small his brother looked right then, how uncertain and heartbroken and nodded.

"Yeah, you do. But never with him as he's one of the very few from whom you have never shied away even once and he's never had to earn your trust like the others had to. Aside from those present here right now and Tiffy, you have always held yourself back to some extent no matter how friendly you were with them."

Sighing, he caressed the hair out of his brother's face. "Even Mum and Dad, Remus, Peter and Alice have had to work to gain your trust while he just had it almost immediately."

"All right, but that could just be friendship, I mean, I've always trusted you, too," Sirius directed at Pandora. "If I love him, I would have wanted to kiss him, right? See him without clothes, something I really preferred not to do and everyone always says…."

"Love comes in many forms and shapes, kiddo," Peeves softly interrupted him. "Just because you aren't attracted to him like that doesn't mean you don't love him, no matter what others say."

Sirius frowned as he clearly had trouble processing their words and it hurt more than James wanted to admit to himself to see how confused and uncertain his brother still was about different kinds of love.

"Maybe you loved him romantically, or maybe you just loved him as a friend, it doesn't truly matter either way as you really don't need to find a label for how you loved him," Pandora wisely said as she caressed his cheek. "He was one of your loved ones and that is all that matters right now."

"I kissed him," Sirius admitted as he leaned into her gentle touch. "It was the only thing he asked for, so I did."

Which explained the dried blood that had been on his lips, James thought ruefully and he swallowed thickly. "Sounds like you gave someone your first official kiss."

"I didn't like it." A choked laugh escaped before he could rein it in and both Pandora and Peeves had to hide a smile of their own despite the heartbreaking situation. Because this too, really wasn't surprising to any of them, even if Sirius didn't seem to know. Yet he couldn't help himself when he quietly asked, "No?" "No, it just…it hurt when I kissed him. It's not supposed to hurt, is it? I mean, I never kissed anyone and never really felt the desire to do so but between you all I've been kissed several times and those kisses never hurt like that...like...like my heart was tightening and I couldn't breathe." "That's just because you knew he was dying and has nothing to do with the kiss itself," Pandora softly said as James found himself unable to speak, a painful lump preventing him from doing more than tighten his hold on his brother. "A known last kiss given to a loved one is always painful and heartbreaking yet can also be beautiful and soothing." "He was so happy and his smile..." Sirius' expression tightened and tears welled up in his eyes again. "And then he was just gone. He smiled at me like I'd given him Felix Felicis and then he just died." "Sounds like you gave him a happy memory to take with him and one he will forever cherish whenever his soul has gone to."

A shaky breath escaped Sirius at Pandora's words and James tightened his hold on his brother, letting Sirius curl into his side like he used to when they were younger.

"Then why do I feel so terrible for having done so?"

James dropped a kiss into the damp hair. "You said you should've said yes to his proposal before, why?"

"Because I wanted to," a few stray tears escaped from Sirius' eyes as he looked up to him. "When he asked me again I realised that I really wanted to have said yes before so I did."

"So he proposed and you accepted because you wanted to do so, why would that make you feel terrible?"

"Because I couldn't say I loved him."

"Didn't we already establish that it didn't matter how you loved him?"

"It should, shouldn't it? I mean, a proposal is something done between lovers, right?"

"Says who?" Brushing his thumb over Sirius' shoulder in comfort, James smiled. "Friends can get married if they wish even if there is no sexual attraction. Sex really isn't the most important part of a relationship, trust and love is. Fabian has always known you weren't interested in such a relationship, yet he still asked you to marry him. Don't you think that perhaps to him, it really didn't matter in what way you loved him?"

"But..."

"No buts, he literally with his dying breath wanted to be with you, something you obviously shared as you accepted his proposal despite knowing he was dying. You confirmed the proposal with a kiss, allowing him to die happy and content in the knowledge that you did want to share your life with him, even if it was just for those last few moments," seeing Sirius' eyes shine with tears, James pushed his face into his shoulder, even as tears gathered in his own eyes.

"Don't you ever dare feel guilty for following your heart and having made him happy as he died, no matter what. He knew how you felt about him and that's all that will ever matter," he more felt than heard Sirius' breathing hitch, thin fingers curling into his back as his brother shook with silent tears and he pulled him fully into his arms, burying his face into the damp locks.

He felt Pandora's arms come up around his right shoulder while coldness spread over his left and something tiny curled against their stomach, effectively burying Sirius between them all, shielding him from the world as they grieved with him.

Eventually Pippy pulled away, returning a minute later with new drinks and a plate of small cut sandwiches that she placed on the table and although she would never be quite as efficient as Tiffy had been in making Sirius eat when he really didn't feel like it, she used the fact that he cared for her to her advantage to make him at least eat a few pint-sized sandwiches the other house-elves had obviously prepared specifically for him.

The little elf gently caressed his hand when he finished eating the third piece and he took a deep breath.

"I killed three of the Death Eaters responsible for killing them," he admitted. "I was so angry when I saw their bodies and I wanted them to hurt for what they'd done. I blew one of them up and used Sectumsempra on another. I used really dark magic, James."

"If they'd come after you, Lily or Harry, I would've done the same."

"I've never wanted to use anything they invented ever again…..but I just used their teachings without batting an eye," but contrary to his words, Sirius' eyes were filled with a haunted, pained horror of his own actions. "I wanted them to die for what they'd done."

"What did you do to the third?"

"I blew his face up. I met his eyes and saw….he'd been the one to tear Gid's spine out so I let him choke to death on his own blood like he'd done to him," the words were horrifying and it painted an even clearer image of just how the brothers had been mutilated, but James didn't dare stop him from speaking, knowing he needed to say it.

"How many Death Eaters were there?" Pandora grimly asked.

"Five, I killed Alvins, Gladstone and Higgs and I think Moody said something about Dolohov having been arrested and Rosier killed as he resisted arrest, but I'm not entirely sure. I know they didn't get away as I'd automatically cast an anti-Apparition shield to prevent them from getting away, but I couldn't focus on Moody's words. I just...I had to get to safety but you were compromised so I went to second safest place I could think of."

Peeves reached out to squeeze his hand. "And you will always find a safe haven here, no matter what. We will always keep you safe from anything and everyone."

"I know," a watery smile crossed over Sirius' lips as he curled his fingers into Peeves'. "I love you….I love all of you. I don't known if I've ever said it...but I do."

"And Pippy loves you," Pippy rested her little fingers on top of theirs.

"I love you, too," Peeves agreed, tightening his hold on his hand.

"We all love you," smiling Pandora rested her hand on top of the pile and James couldn't help but smile as he followed, echoing their sentiment. "And we've always known that you love us, too."

A shaky breath escaped Sirius as he made an aborted movement to reach out for them all at the same time so Pippy jumped onto his lap to throw her little arms around him while Peeves and Pandora moved seamlessly to pull him into their arms so James simply wrapped his arms around all of them to complete the group hug.

Pulling back after a long moment, Sirius wiped his remaining tears away and smiled at them all. "Thank you….all of you."

"Any time," returning his smile, Pandora pushed her long blond hair behind her ear. "That's what family is for."

"Oh," guilt flashed over Sirius' features as he turned to James. "I left Frank behind without a word."

"You did, but they're already aware you are safe. Lily contacted me that you took off and I've let her know I had you."

"I didn't mean to worry anyone."

"If they'd stopped to think for even a second, they would've known this is where you would go," Pandora shrugged. "This is where you've always gone when you're upset and James isn't available."

"It's kind of scary how well you know me," Sirius bit his lip. "I also left without saying goodbye to Gid."

"He would have understood and I'm sure you will be able to say goodbye. We'll all want to say goodbye."

"I'm pretty sure their sister would never allow us to pay our respects. She hates us and won't allow us anywhere near."

"She won't have much choice as I'm sure their parents and Bilius will want us there," running a hand through his hair, James wet his lips. "Besides, you were Fab's fiancée and thus she couldn't block you if she tried and you could allow us access."

"I don't think a five second engagement would count for magical law, James."

"That depends, were there any witnesses?"

"Erm...Frank and I think maybe Moody?"

"Then it will most likely be a recognised engagement and even if it wouldn't register, then I have no doubt they'd inform the DMLE of your status, who in turn would be obligated to inform his parents."

"Even if it was only for a few moments?"

"It was sealed with a kiss so it should technically be registered," James agreed, scratching at his chin. "And seeing as his parents have always liked you, I'm fairly sure they'll accept it even if it wouldn't be considered legally binding. Actually, I'd not be surprised if they'd simply claim your acceptance to say you were married in their eyes and treat you as their son-in-law."

Merlin knew the elderly Prewetts had always been beyond welcoming and supportive of their friendship and he knew they'd always hoped Fabian's obvious fondness of Sirius would grow into something more steady.

"I really don't want to be in any way related to Molly," the disgust that crossed over Sirius' face was too much and they all burst out into laughter.

"Too late for that, I'm afraid," Peeves grinned. "You're stuck with that woman as your sister-in-law now."

"And even so I'm afraid you were already distantly related since Arthur Weasley married her and his father married into the Black family," Pandora told him regretfully, biting back a smile as Sirius groaned.

"Urgh," the face Sirius pulled was beyond hilarious and James had to stifle a grin, relieved to see his brother acting somewhat normally again.

"Speaking of family, do you want to stay here a little while longer, or do you want to go home?"

"I think I'm ready to go home," meeting his eyes, Sirius smiled and although the grey eyes James loved so much were still filled with sadness and grief, he was relieved to see the light had returned in them and he couldn't help but pull him in to press a kiss against his temple before rising to his feet.

Following his example, Sirius held out a hand to help Pandora up, too. "We'll drop you off at home on our way."

"You mean that you want to give my daughter cuddles," laughing, Pandora accepted his hand to be pulled to her feet. "You're lucky I know you or I'd be worried you were trying to steal my daughter."

"I wouldn't do that, though I can't wait until they're old enough to play together and hopefully be friends."

"That would be nice and who knows, maybe they'll even fall madly in love one day and we can truly become a family united by blood," Pandora grinned and a considerate look crossed over Sirius' features.

"Before you two start thinking of future weddings, it might be wise to first see if they'll even become friends."

Sirius smiled. "Harry, Luna, Neville, Charlie, Bill, Fred and George...I'm sure they will be great friends as they grow up."

"I rue the day they all come here to make the teachers miserable," Peeves cackled. "If your stories are anything to go by then I am positive those twins will wreak havoc much like the Marauders used to and I have no doubt Harry will join them. Good times to look forward to."

"I almost feel sorry for their future teachers, almost," stepping forward, Sirius pulled first Peeves and then Pippy into a hug before returning to James' side, sliding a hand in his.

"Let's go home."

"Yeah," squeezing his brother's hand, he waved at Peeves; receiving a roll of the eyes and a wave in return.

"Pippy bring yous to destination," the little elf said, coming forward to place a hand on Sirius' leg even as Pandora took Sirius' other hand and moments later Hogwarts disappeared from view as Pippy whiskered them away.