"So, this Chapter's gonna be fine. Long as no-one, heh, references any 20 year old racing games."

"Question."

"What's 'yer question, Author?"

"I referenced 20 year old racing games."

"What? How. Much?!"

"I have done nothing but reference 20 year old racing games for 8,000 words."


Water steadily dripped from a leaky pipe on the ceiling, the splashes on the ground echoed softly throughout the dimly lit underground garage. The whirring of the elevator softly faded in, a guttural clunk resounded through the garage as it reached its floor.

The doors briskly whirred open, a pair of sandy, scuffed boots stepped out of the elevator, followed by a pair of sleek black sneakers with neon-teal soles. The light from the elevator behind them disappeared as the doors whirred shut.

The taps of their shoes resonated throughout the garage as they stepped into the center. Not a soul was in sight, the steady dripping of water from the pipe was the only other sound to be heard.

"Nobody's here...I knew it." The Commander hissed bitterly.

"Hang on, I'm getting another message..." RO said suddenly. "'Get in the car...'"

The Commander scanned the garage.

Aside from Anti-Rain's motorcycles that sat covered in a cluster of spaces, there was only one other vehicle in the garage - an ancient looking Cadillac, it couldn't have been made after the 1980's. For being almost a century old, it was in good condition...At least, it looked like it was from a distance in a dimly lit garage, but he had no interest in testing that. This had gone on long enough.

"No. Fuck this." The Commander shook his head aggressively before turning around and marching straight towards the elevator. RO, thinking more or less the same thing, followed right behind him.

The Commander mashed his finger into the call button on the elevator, but was vetoed by the sound of a harsh buzzer.

"Stairs it is, then." The Commander resolved and shoved the door to the stairwell open.

However, the entire staircase had somehow been taken down. A stair-shaped outline on the walls was all that remained of them. He could swear that he saw something like this in a cartoon once.

"So that's how it's going to be..." The Commander said before turning back to his adjutant and gesturing towards the elevator. "Alright, RO, get those doors open."

RO gave an affirmative nod before prying the elevator doors open. Unfortunately, the elevator had already been recalled to the highest level, and in the place of the Emergency Access Ladder was a sign: "Emergency Access Ladder currently out of service, in case of emergency, please use the elevator."

"Son of a bitch!" The Commander swore.

Another message hit RO's Zener network.

"The only way out is through, Commander..." RO read.

The Commander growled through gnashed teeth. "Mother. fucker!"

The Commander spun and stormed back into the car park, only for a loud snort to get his attention.

Near the exit ramp to the garage, Papasha once again lay slumped over her mech controls, this time, the residue of a white-powder was clearly visible under her noise.

The Commander's eyes widened with concern. "Uh..." His eyes traveled down to find several discarded containers of G-Fuel powder, however. "...Oh." The Commander sighed with relief.

Walking up to the car, RO suddenly stopped the Commander and motioned for him to wait up. The elite doll pulled out a flashlight and cautiously approached the vehicle. She shined her flashlight through the window into the back seat - nothing. Bending down, she checked underneath the car. Her sensors detected nothing unusual. Pulling a small pocket-knife out of her bag, she cracked hood open slightly, stuck the blade through the crack, and slowly ran it across its length. No tripwires. She slowly lifted the hood and inspected the engine, it appeared to be in working order. She scanned the block for anything out of place - nothing, no contraptions, no explosives, nothing out of the ordinary. Shutting the hood, she walked over to the driver side door and once again cracked it open to inspect it for traps. The car was clean.

RO turned to the commander and motioned her head for him to come over.

"Looks like I'm the wheelman, huh?" The Commander sighed as he got into the driver-seat, while RO walked to the other side and jumped in the passenger seat. The Commander immediately noticed the camera mounted to the dashboard pointed directly at them. Was it just to make sure it was them in the car, or did their culprit want to see their faces while they faced whatever they had in store for them? Probably both.

The keys were already in the ignition, at least they weren't going to make him hotwire it. The Commander turned the keys, the engine spat and sputtered to no avail.

"Come on, you heap of shit..."

Giving the key another turn, the engine sputtered again before springing to life with a soft rumble. The hum of the idling engine resonated throughout the garage. The Commander took a deep breath and shifted the car into gear, then rolled it out of the parking spot. His hands tensed up on the wheel as the car rolled towards the exit ramp, he had no idea what was going to be in store for him, but it was going to suck - there was no doubt about it, no room for wishful thinking.

The car exited the garage, but instead of being greeted by the outpost's walls that faced onto a barren Eastern-European countryside, he was greeted with the sight of towering high-rises on either side of him and a busy avenue stretching endlessly in front of him, dotted with side-streets and intersections.

"But...How the...What?!" RO stuttered out.

"Yeah, that about sums it up..." The Commander deadpanned.

RO's Zener protocol was suddenly hit with another notification, after pulling it up, she began to read.

"Welcome to the Griffin International S-License test. This test will simulate a scenario in which you are tasked with driving a VIP away from an assassination attempt. However, due to a mix-up, the NYPD believes that you are attempting to kidnap the VIP. For this test, you will need to successfully drive from the southern end of this reconstruction of Manhattan Island to another garage at the Northern end of the Island while evading both the police and the mafia's assassins. The test will be considered a failure if either your vehicle is destroyed, or you pass the pace-car."

"Pace car?..." The Commander asked.

Suddenly, a 2001 Toyota Pod Concept whirred past and stopped in front of them, an orange light-bar fixed to the top, a reflective vinyl that read "DO NOT PASS" fixed to the rear hatch.

On the streets beside them, a group of 1966 Ford GT40 Mk. I's had rolled up to the intersection, decked out in police liveries and sporting siren bars on top. Sitting at the stoplight behind them, their engines roared load enough to shake the earth as they revved them in anticipation.

"GT40 cop cars?!I have to outrun those in this rust bucket? Actually, why am I even surprised anymore? Of course it was going to be rigged against me." The Commander ranted to himself.

"The test is about to start, Commander. I'll navigate you, just try not to wreck us." RO informed.

"Right, wouldn't want you to have to go in the Dinergate again."

The glare RO gave the Commander at that moment felt as if it was boring a hole straight through him. "...I'm going to pull the E-Brake once you get up to speed. Want to bet on which one of us will walk away from that?"

"Whoa-ho, okay, bad joke!"

RO's attention turned back to her Zener. "Three seconds."

Ding

Ding

Ding

DING.

The Pace car slowly kicked into gear and began rolling forward at a snail's pace, while the GT40s behind them roared with power as their tires burned out and took off straight for them, leaving behind a cloud of smoke.

"Are you kidding me?!" The Commander cried out.

The Commander frantically swerved to dodge the incoming interceptor, which missed him by mere inches - and slammed straight into the pace car at mach-speed, sending the compact flying into the sky, growing smaller and smaller until it disappeared into the clouds.


Tallinn, Estonia, some time later...

Corporal Ivan Ivanovich Ivanovsky limped steadily along the barren wasteland, the sun's searing heat mercilessly beating down on him, his injuries from the previous battle cried out against him with every step he took. Getting to this point had been excruciating, between getting shot by those dolls, narrowly dodging getting blown to bits by that airstrike, and having to sneak past the Vympel units' containment perimeter. He couldn't allow himself to give in, however. He was the sole survivor of his KCCO Unit from the Paldiski Operation. Quartz Team, Amber Flight, Captain Yegor, everybody was gone, it was just him left. Someone had to relay what had happened back to General Carter, to make sure his comrades back home knew that his unit fought valiantly until the end - He couldn't let himself fall here, he would not allow it. He had a girlfriend waiting for him back home, he was going to propose to her when he got back, he even had an order of flowers waiting.

Still...It was going to be a long trek back home. There was no telling when he'd reach any kind of settlement, either. Ivan gave his canteen a shake...It was almost empty. What he would give for some kind of transportation, some kind of working vehicle that would be able to carry him home. He would take literally anything with wheels and a working engine. It was the most desperate kind of wishful thinking, but still...if only he-

CRASH

A massive hunk of metal suddenly slammed into the ground a few feet from where he was standing. A strange looking compact teetered on its nose before tilting over and falling on its wheels, its suspension briefly straining from the impact.

A car...It was a car! His wish had been granted! Now he just had to-

A blinding blue light suddenly flashed directly above him, and a silver-haired T-Doll was launched straight out of it and slammed directly on top of him. Ivan let out a brief, blood-curdling yelp before it was cut off by a loud snap.

M16A1 let out a pained groan as she slowly sat up and dusted herself off. "That's it - no more teleporting. I'll find some other way to Germany..."

Her eye turned to the Toyota Pod sitting idle a few feet in front of her.

"Well, that's convenient, I hope it still has some gas in the ta-"

As M16 moved to pick herself up, her palm pressed against something warm and fleshy. She immediately jumped to her feet, her eye widening at the sight of the human she had landed on.

"Whoa, sorry! Didn't see ya laying down there...Hey...Bud?..."

As M16 examined the human, she noticed his head was turned at a very unnatural angle, his eyes wide open and glazed over. A scan from her systems confirmed her fears - no pulse, zero brain activity, and the body was warm.

"Uh...Oops..."

M16 slowly backed away, looking around indecisively before she hurriedly jumped into the Toyota. The front tires squealed, kicking up a cloud of dirt as the compact peeled out and rapidly accelerated off into the distance.


Sector 09(?) Present Time...

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about the pace car now..." The Commander remarked after watching the compact disappear into the clouds.

"Straight down the avenue, Commander! Punch it!"

The Commander floored the accelerator, turning slightly to the left of the GT40 in front of them. When the interceptor swerved to block them, the Commander immediately swerved to the right and shot past it. The GT40's sirens blared as it immediately took off after them, the rest of its formation following close behind.

The Commander had the throttle pinned to the floor, but a quick glance in the rearview made it seem as if they were sitting still as the interceptors barreled towards them.

"Commander!" RO yelled, which turned his attention back to the front to find that a massive roadblock had appeared in front of them, stretching across the entire road.

"When the hell did that get there?!" The Commander cried out.

The Commander continued to accelerate towards the block.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" RO cried.

"There's nowhere else to go, we gotta go through!"

"Through where?! This isn't a video game!"

"I'm thinking about it!"

"Think faster!" RO yelled as she gripped the panic bar.

Suddenly, more sirens flashed on the other side of the block. Another group of GT40 interceptors barreled straight for the car at top-speed, seemingly unconcerned about their comrades blocking the road. Before the Commander could say anything, they slammed straight into the roadblock.

"Holy shit!" The Commander exclaimed.

The sound of crunching metal filled the air. Cars were tossed every which way as pieces of twisted metal and lost wheels flew in every direction.

The collision had managed to open up a gap in the block and the Commander immediately swerved towards it, his foot still glued to the floor and the interceptors in hot pursuit, too.

The GT40s surrounded them on both sides, seemingly oblivious to the mass of wrecked cars in front of them. The Commander shot through the gap in the roadblock, while the interceptors on either side of him slammed into the wreckage and disappeared from view in an instant, turning into a cloud of smoke and flying debris in the rearview. Only one interceptor that had been glued to his six o'clock remained.


Meanwhile, ST AR-15 and SOPMOD II cautiously approached the door leading to the monitoring room - the origin of the signal trace that RO had run.

STAR turned to SOP-II. "This is it, get ready."

SOP-II nodded affirmatively and loaded a baton slug into her M203.

"Remember not to hit the face, SOP-II. RO will have us cleaning this base with a toothbrush if you send someone to the repair bay or the infirmary."

"I know." SOP-II whined.

"And you'd better not have loaded an HE by mistake. We are not doing a repeat of Operation Amarillo."

"I'm telling you, that was the Ammo Fairy's fault!" SOP-II retorted.

"Whatever, just get ready."

STAR moved to the keypad beside the door, while SOP-II trained her M203 on the doorway and nodded to STAR, who quickly punched the code in. The keypad gave an affirmative chime and the door whirred open to reveal a familiar woman standing in front of a cluster of monitors. Strawberry blonde hair tied into a side-ponytail with a red ribbon, tan jacket with a GK patch, pair of tan oakley pilot-gloves...

"Miss Kalina?!" SOP-II gasped

After doing a quick check of either side of the door, SOP-II cautiously moved into the room.

"Kalina?! What the hell?" STAR asked as she followed her teammate in.

Kalina sighed. "I guess the cat's out of the bag now..."

"Why are you doing this? What's gotten into you?!" STAR pressed.

"The Commander hasn't told you?" Kalina asked bitterly.

"Told us what?"

"...Hmph." Kalina grumbled.

"Hey, it's the Commander and RO!" SOP-II suddenly cried out, pointing to the monitor showing the feed from the Cadillac's dashcam.

"It's already started, you're too late to stop it." Kalina said.

STAR's gaze fixed on the monitor. "...You know, I think I've got a bone to pick with the Commander myself. I think I'll just enjoy the show for now."

Kalina raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

SOP-II suppressed a chuckle. "The Commander called her handguard a 'Dickmod rail', and now she can't unsee the key-slots looking like-"

"SOP-II!" STAR hissed.

"Wha?" Kalina's eyes turned to STAR's SPR. "Holy crap, you're right! They do look like-"

"You shut up, too!" STAR snapped.


The Cadillac's engine strained as the car held its top speed. No matter what the Commander tried, the interceptor remained firmly on their tail, which wasn't surprising considering that they were in an ancient shitbox going up against a literal race-car.

The GT40 zoomed up to their rear fender with a ferocious roar and swiftly rammed into their rear tire. The Commander struggled to stop the car from spinning as it began to lose traction.

"They're trying to P.I.T. us!" RO cried out.

"No shit, you think?!"

The GT40 suddenly braked and positioned itself behind the car.

Sensing what was about to happen, the Commander swerved to the side just as the GT40 rapidly accelerated forward, swiping against the side of the car as it shot in front of them, moving past both the car and the intersection they were about to come up on.

"He overshot! Turn off! Turn off!" RO commanded.

"On it! Breaking right!"

Just as the Commander began to brake for the turn, however, the GT40 suddenly jumped into the air, tilted itself backwards, and flew backwards at mach-speed.

The Commander's eyes widened in awe at what he was witnessing. "What. the..."

The GT40 spun in the air, whooshing directly over their car by mere inches, fast and close enough to make the vehicle shake. The interceptor landed behind them, skidding backwards a few feet before it floored the throttle, a plume of smoke engulfed its rear tires as they burned out with a hair-raising scream.

"Holy-...What the hell was that?!" RO cried out.

"Hang on!" The Commander yanked the wheel to the right.

The Cadillac swerved to the right at high speed, its rear tires sliding out in the process.

"Shit! Come on, get traction, get traction!" The Commander yelled as he turned in the direction of the slide and hit the throttle. Tires screeched as the car swayed from side to side before finally regaining stability.

"Watch the oversteer, Commander!"

"I'm doing my best, this thing's a fucking boat!"

"Just keep driving! We have to gain as much ground as we can before they-"

Suddenly, the GT40 shot around the corner at what had to be over 200 MPH, pulling a turn that the Commander swore would have G-LOC'd any human behind the wheel.

"Are you kidding me?!" The Commander exclaimed as he watched the interceptor zoom towards them in his rearview.

"Left! Go left!"

The Commander swerved to turn left at the next intersection. However, as soon as he began to turn, the GT40 accelerated forward and slammed into his rear bumper, sending the car into a skid.

"Oh you actual bastard!" The Commander growled as he tried to correct the spin, but over-corrected and had only managed to reverse the cars orientation as it continued to skid to a halt directly in front of an alley.

The GT40 swerved towards them and accelerated, roaring like a wild beast ready to pounce.

"The alley! The alley!" RO cried out.

The Commander floored the throttle, sending the car squealing into the alleyway. The GT40 zoomed past the alley entrance, but without losing a single unit of speed or traction, pulled a 180 degree turn and zoomed inside after them.

The alleyway stretched all the way to the end of the block, daylight shining through the crack between the buildings at the other end. In the center of the stretch of alley was a small empty lot, which they had just reached when the silhouette of a car appeared in the exit.

"Shit!" The Commander cursed as he slammed on the brakes, causing the car to screech to a halt.

The GT40 behind them rolled to a stop too, revving its engine anticipatingly. The car in front slowly rolled forward into view - a yellow Lancer Evolution V.

"Dear god...He's here..." The Commander uttered.

"What? Who's here?! What are you talking about?" RO asked in confusion.

"He's here, RO!"

"You're saying crazy stuff again, Commander!"

Completely ignorant to RO's confusion, the Commander closed his eyes and sighed. "So this is it then...Forgive me master, I have to go all out...just this once..."

The Commander pulled out a can of FourLoko that he seemingly conjured from thin air, similar to how M16 would a bottle of Jack.

"COMMANDER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"RO cried out as she recoiled back in shock.


Meanwhile, the whole scene had been unfolding on the monitor before STAR, SOP-II, and Kalina.

STAR raised an eyebrow. "Wha-...What's he doing?"

At the same time, a small smirk had formed on SOP-II's face. "He's beginning to believe..."

STAR continued to watch in shock and amazement as the Commander pulled out a small pocket knife and punctured a hole near the bottom of the can, pressed his mouth to it, and then deftly popped the tab on top, all while RO clambered over him trying to take the can away. A jetstream of FourLoko rapidly sprayed out of the puncture and into the Commander's mouth.

STAR shook her head. "Okay, that - That is just weird, seriously, what is up with the Commander?"


RO desperately clambered over the Commander as she tried to reach for the can of liquid DUI citations. "COMMANDER! I AM SERIOUS! I ALREADY LET YOU GET AWAY WITH MORE THAN YOU HAVE ANY RIGHT TO! THIS IS TOO MUCH!"

Finally, RO managed to wrestle the can away from him, but quickly realized that it was now as light as a feather. Her eyes widened in horror as she turned the can over and confirmed her fears - the can was completely empty.

"Ahhhh" The Commander let out a refreshed exhale.

RO continued to stare in horror at the empty can. "This is not happening...This is not happening...This is not happening..."

"Woo! I feel great!" The Commander enthusiastically cried as he threw his hands back on the steering wheel. "Don't worry RO! I've got this! I can feel the spirits of Dale Earnhardt, Ryan Cooper, and Paul Walker giving me strength!"

"...I'm doomed...I'm going to die here..." RO resolved.

The Cadillac's rear tires screamed as if letting out a battle cry as they burned out, and the car shot forward straight towards the Evo as if the FourLoko had given its engine an extra hundred horsepower. As if accepting a challenge, the Evo accelerated forward, barreling straight towards them. In the rearview mirror, the GT40 burned out and jumped forward, hot on their tail.

"HAVE YOU GONE NUTS?!" RO cried out, gripping the panic bar for dear life.

The Commander said nothing, he pinned the throttle to the floor as both cars picked up speed.

"You've gone nuts..."

The Commander hugged one side of the alley, the Evo adjusted to hit them head on. As the cars grew closer and closer, the Commander suddenly swerved to the other side, aiming for a gap that was just barely wide enough to fit the car through.

The sound of grinding metal pierced the air as the car grinded against both the wall of the alley and the side of the Lancer, knocking both of the side-mirrors off of their mountings. A loud crash and a deafening boom sounded from behind as the Yellow Evo and the GT40 collided with one another, both cars disappeared in a burst of flames and a plume of smoke.

RO's relief was short-lived, however. Before they had even exited the alley, a car zoomed through the smokescreen - the Yellow Evo appeared to have been completely unscathed by the GT40's destruction.

"It survived that?! What is this, some kind of cartoon?!" RO cried.

"Close, RO."

"What?!"

"What?"

The cars continued to race down the alleyway, the Evo gaining on them with every second.

Finally they reached the end, the Commander yanked the wheel to the left. The car's rear tires slid out and sent the car into a drift, sliding straight past another GT40 Interceptor barreling towards them from the street. As if perfectly in tune with the vehicle, the Commander stabilized the car and accelerated down the street, while the GT40 slammed on its brakes and skidded to a stop in front of the Alley entrance.

The Yellow Evo slammed straight into the GT40, the impact sheered the interceptor clean in half while the Evo tore around the corner, completely unscathed and unabated.

Meanwhile, down the road, a Suzuki Escudo Pikes Peak Edition barreled straight towards them.

"Whoa! Whoa!" RO's grip on the panic bar tightened as the Suzuki veered into the oncoming lane, but the Commander skillfully swerved swerved to dodge it.

The Escudo quickly spun 180 degrees. With a roar of its engine, the Suzuki shot forward with enough power to lift its front wheels off of the road. It rapidly gained on them, accelerating at a rate that shouldn't be possible. However, its front end continued to lift upwards as it continued to accelerate, making it impossible for the vehicle to steer. Out of curiosity, RO ran the numbers on how fast it was going as it shot past them and flew down the road.

...220 MPH.

250 MPH.

300 MPH.

400 MPH.

700 MPH.

1200 MPH.

3000 MPH.

The Escudo lifted off of its back wheels and practically warped itself into the sky. It disappeared into the clouds in what seemed like an instant.

RO's attention turned back to the final reading she calculated: 2,147,483,647 MPH


A long time later, somewhere far, far away...

Master Chief pressed the switch on the holographic control panel to lower the final shield protecting the Ark's control room. This was it, one final effort was all that remained, they had just needed to storm the control room, and the Covenant Threat would be over.

The Shadow of Intent soared above, shaking the windows of the control tower as it passed overhead.

"Now, prophets - your end has come." The Shipmaster declared over the channel as the supercarrier neared the control room.

Suddenly, however, a blue light flashed in the sky above, and an unidentifiable object shot straight out of it.

"What is...BY THE GODS, BRACE FOR IMPACT!" The Shipmaster cried out as a red-streak barreled straight for the ship. The escudo pierced straight through the ship's hull and out the other side. The ship rocked and swayed, struggling to regain control as it careened off-course.


Present Day...

"What..." RO uttered out as she continued to gaze at the sky where the escudo vanished.

"Its planet needs it, RO! I'd do the same if mine summoned me!" The Commander said defensively.

"Damn it, this is worse than when Dreamer dosed you with PCP!" RO grunted in frustration.

Meanwhile, the Yellow Evo was right on their bumper.

"Hold on, we're taking a shortcut!" The Commander veered off the road, over the curb, and tore straight across a park.

"What are you doing?! This isn't a rally car!"

"Well, it is now!"

"That doesn't make any-"

"Believe, RO!"

"But-"

"Shut up and believe!"

However, the Commander's shortcut did nothing to deter the Yellow Evo, it's AWD drivetrain and Rally Tires allowed it to easily keep up.

"Damn it, RO! You're not believing hard enough!"

"Argh! Alright, fine! I'll believe if it makes you-"

Suddenly, the Cadillac's engine roared like a Group B Rally Car.

"Hell yeah! I feel the FourLoko really kicking in now!"

"What is even going on anymore?!…This doesn't make any sense!" RO cried.

The Cadillac's tires screeched as it veered back onto the Tarmac. They were getting closer to their destination, but the Yellow Evo relentlessly closed the gap. On top of that, the time of day had gone from high noon to a foggy sunset within an instant. Neither RO or the Commander even bothered questioning it anymore, all logic had gone out the window, the only thing they could focus on was surival.

As fast as their car was going at this point, the Yellow Evo had managed to not only close the gap on them, but was able to accelerate forward fast and hard enough to ram them.

Suddenly, a notification popped up on the windshield. "PENALTY: SLOW DOWN AT THE NEXT PENALTY LINE"

"Try and stop me, fuckhead!" The Commander yelled in response as he continued to pin the throttle.

"Your sportsmanship rank has been demoted to F-" The screen flashed.

"Tell someone who cares!"

"Your Blinker Fluid reserves have been drained."

"Blinker Fluid? Oh god no, not the Blinker Fluid!"

Suddenly, the car's engine shut off, and the car began to decelerate.

"What the?! What's going on?!" RO frantically asked.

"We're out of Blinker Fluid, RO!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE OUT OF BLINKER FLUID?!"

"WE ARE OUT OF BLINKER FLUID! THE CAR'S DEAD! WE CAN'T DRIVE WITHOUT THE BLINKER FLUID!"

"DAMN IT COMMANDER! STOP SCREWING AROUND, THAT WAS THE FIRST JOKE THEY PULLED ON ME WHEN I WAS LOANED TO THE POLICE! STAR EVEN PULLED THAT ONE ON DREAMER JUST THE OTHER DAY!"

RO frantically scanned the car to figure out what was wrong. Her eyes widened when the results came back. "Huh?! We are out of Blinker Fluid!"

The car continued to coast down the road. They were almost to the car park, they couldn't let it end here...

The Evo rammed the car again, which gave it a boost of speed.

"That's it! It doesn't realize it's helping us!" The Commander said as he steered towards their destination. "Come on, just a little more!"

"We're coming in too fast! Brake! BRAKE!" RO shrieked.

"The brakes are out!" The Commander cried as he mashed the brake pedal to no avail.

Another notification flashed. "Due to your low sportsmanship rating, we have also cut your brake cables, keyed the side of the car, and taken the catalytic converter."

"Shit! Come on! Steer! STEEEEEEEERRRR!" The Commander cursed at the car as he frantically tried to make the turn into the car park, only to slam into the far wall.

A loud crash sounded as the hood bent outward, the fenders crumpled, the windshield cracked and the front grill was sent into the engine block.

The Commander regained his senses to find RO pinning him to the seat. At the last second, she had jumped in front to hold him down and shield him from the impact. Luckily, they had coasted to a relatively low speed before the impact, the car was still wrecked, however, and the Commander probably would have been severely injured had RO not intervened.

RO breathed heavily as she leaned back. "Are you alright?!"

"Yeah...I'm fine, you?"

"I'm built for this kind of thing, don't worry about me."

The Commander's blood froze at the sound of tires squealing off to the side. The Yellow Evo skidded into view and aligned itself with the side of the car.

"Oh SHIT!" The Commander cried out as the Evo accelerated forward.

The Evo slammed into the side of the Cadillac, sending it skidding down the ramp into the underground car park. The car helplessly spun into the garage before it slammed into a pillar, which managed to stop it perfectly inside of a parking space.

"...Like a glove..." The Commander groaned out.

A victorious chime sounded from the car's windscreen, followed by the display of a Bronze Trophy. "Congratulations!"

"Gee, thanks..." the Commander grumbled.

The sound of screeching tires echoed through the car park as the Yellow Evo raced inside, skidding to a halt across from them. The engine roared menacingly as it revved in anticipation.

"What the hell?! The test is over!" RO cried out.


"Uhhh, is it supposed to be doing that?" STAR asked as she watched the scene unfold.

"Oh...Don't tell me it's acting up! That thing costed a fortune to import from the Seattle ruins!" Kalina urgently mashed some buttons on the keyboard to no avail.

STAR's expression suddenly turned dire. "...You got that thing from Seattle?!"

"Yeah, they found it abandoned in a car park. Apparently it was used for some kind of circuit race event they were holding there in the year 2000."

STAR's eyes widened in panic. "SOP-II! We have to move! NOW!"

"Wha-What's going on? Why are you two looking at me like that?" Kalina asked urgently, but STAR and SOP-II frantically tore out of the room without another word.


"Think it's just messing with us?" The Commander asked, clinging to the last fiber of optimism in his being.

The Evo's engine screamed as it took off towards them.

"Get out! Get out!"

RO quickly kicked the door open, her and the Commander frantically scrambled away from the vehicle just in the nick of time. The Evo slammed straight into the Cadillac and caused it to explode in a ball of fire. One of the car's door whizzed past the Commander, missing him by mere inches as it flew in front of him and embedded itself into the far wall.

"Fucking hell!" The Commander cried out, feeling as if he had just lost one of nine lives.

The Evo slowly backed out of the wreckage, the flaming debris covering its front end giving it a demonic aura.

RO pulled her submachine gun out of her bag and ripped back the stock. "Commander...Get to the elevator. I'll get its attention."

"RO? What are you doing?!"

RO faced down the Yellow Evo, the headlights beaming down menacingly upon her as the car revved its engine. "I'm going to end this. You go and get help."

The Commander gave a conflicted nod. "...Give it hell, RO. Stay alive."

"Don't worry - you owe me dinner for this, and I plan on collecting."

The Commander took off towards the elevator, the Evo's wheels steered in his direction, but then a volley of shots suddenly pierced through its front grill.

"Over here you rubber-banding cheater! This is an Impreza neighborhood!" RO called out, the barrel of her Noveske smoking.

The Evo's engine revved in anger as it tore off straight for her, but RO was in her element. She dashed to the side just as the homicidal JDM had committed to its heading, disappearing from view in a yellow streak. The car skidded to the side in an attempt to turn around, but lost traction and skidded into a wall. Another burst of gunfire peppered its windshield, but it was impossible to see what effect this would have through the pitch-black tinted windows.

The Evo's engine once again screamed in rage as it shot straight towards her, but once again, RO evaded it in a flash and sent it slamming into a parked car.

"Ouch, I'd bet you don't have insurance either!"

The Evo's tires squealed as it rapidly reversed out, and swung itself into a 180, sliding its front end towards where RO had been.

"Taking it nice and slow, huh? Maybe I'll give you a call if I need a ride to the grocery store." RO taunted from a distance away.

Meanwhile, the Commander frantically pressed the Elevator Call button as RO engaged the possessed AWD.

The Commander tapped his foot anxiously as the floor indicator slowly moved down the the basement level. "Come on...Come on..."

DING

The Elevator doors whirred open, the Commander was just about to charge inside when suddenly a familiar pinkette and blonde charged out of it, nearly knocking him over.

"Going somewhere, Commander?" STAR teased with an arrogant smile.

"Hey, RO told me to go get you two!" The Commander defended.

"Uh-huh."

"Tch, whatever, you're here now...How did you know we needed help?"

"I'll explain later, let's take this bastard out."

"Right, RO's gun isn't putting a dent in that thing. We need something bigger - SOP-II, can you nail that thing with a 40 mike-mike?"

"All I have are baton rounds, RO told me to leave my HE rounds in the Armory so I didn't blow up the culprit by mistake." SOP-II replied.

"We didn't even have to use them, either. Go figure." STAR said with an annoyed shrug.

The Commander turned to STAR. "I guess that means it's up to you then, Star. I know you've got some C4 handy."

"Oh yeah, I could fly that thing to the moon and back if you wanted me to."

"Just blow it up, thank you. Just be sure to get away from the explosives before you-"

STAR's glare pierced the Commander's soul. "Commander - If you complete that sentence, I will shove my gun up your ass and use you as a suppressor."

"...Be careful, Star. Don't die."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to let some possessed ricer do me in."

Meanwhile, RO continued to distract the Yellow Evo. The Evo shot towards her as she stood to the right of a support column, the first of many in a row of several, but when it got within a few feet of her, RO suddenly dashed to the left of the next column. The Evo veered towards her, only for her to shoot to the right of the next column. This process continued all the way to the other end of the garage, until it reached the final column, and RO dashed behind it. The Evo's tires locked as engaged the handbrake and spun around, and slid its rear end straight into the wall.

"Now, 15!" RO called over her Zener network.

STAR charged into view and dove onto the rampant vehicle just as it sped off. She clung to the roof for dear life as the Evo desperately tried to shake her off, doing a donut (or the closest thing to a donut an AWD could do) in the middle of the garage.. Jamming her knife into the roof for grip and supporting her legs with the rear wing, she gained enough balance to punch a fist-sized hole into the car's roof, and tossed the block of C4 she had prepared into the hole.

"Think you almost had us? You never had us, you never had your car!"

With that, STAR dove off of the car, swiftly rolled behind a support pillar, and slammed the detonator.

A deafening BOOM shook the garage as the Evo was engulfed in a spectacular fireball. Parts and pieces flew every which way at supersonic speeds as the entire middle section was essentially vaporized. Smoke and flames spewed out from what remained of the engine block.

Nothing but a smoldering wreck remained - the Evo had been neutralized.

STAR breathed a sigh of relief as she got to her feet. "Everybody okay?"

"Yeah, we're all fine." The RO responded, stepping out from the cover that she, the Commander, and SOP-II had hidden behind while the Evo was occupied with STAR.

The Commander let out a triumphant laugh. "Good shit, Star, now that's what I like to see!"

The Commander and STAR exchanged a high-five.

"Did you expect anything less?" STAR asked as she playfully punched his shoulder.

"Ahem." RO cleared her throat.

"Yeah, you did good too, RO." The Commander gave RO a forceful pat on the back.

"What about me?" SOP-II huffed.

"You'll get your turn soon enough, you still owe me for gassing me in that plane." The Commander asserted as he forcefully ruffled SOP's hair.

For a few minutes back there, the Commander had found himself close to regretting tossing that Green-Zone card away...But, in the end, he remembered that moments like this somehow made all of the fuckery worth it in the end...Though, recalling the Green-Zone card, the Commander suddenly felt something gnawing at the back of his head, as if he was somehow forgetting something...something important...

RO turned to STAR. "So, if you knew where to find us, I take it you found out who's behind this?"

"Oh, right. It turns out that-"

The Commander's eyes suddenly shot wide open. "KALINA!"


The door to Kalina's office burst open as the Commander and RO635 stormed inside.

"Kalina, what the FUCK?!" The Commander snarled. "Do you have any idea how long it has been since I have had a day off? I have spent the last half of a year on the run from the fucking Spetsnaz and a fanatical technophile death-cult that is out for my blood! I have been pulling 72 hour shifts every single fucking week since Sector 11, and now all of the sudden you think it's funny to pull a fucking prank on my one day off for this week?!"

Kalina was completely unfazed by the Commander's raving and ranting as she stood with her arms crossed, shooting him a ice-cold glare. "Oh, I don't think it's funny. I just didn't think that you'd be all that bothered by some missing training records, given that you're going to be packing up and leaving soon. What's the harm in doing some Admin work ahead of schedule?"

"Wait, l-leaving?!" RO gasped out.

"Oh...Did the Commander leave that little detail out? Mister Kryuger offered him a Green Zone card for all of his hard work up to this point, he's going to scamper off to some city and live a quiet live, away from all of us troublemakers." Kalina standoffishly informed.

"That's what this is about?! Damn it, Kalina, I told you, I'm not-"

"C-Commander..." RO stuttered out.

"Huh? No, RO, I'm not-"

Tears began welling up in RO's eyes as her trembling hands balled into fists. "Dummy..."

No, not this shit, not again!

"YOU GREAT BIG DUMMY!"

RO's shriek shook the whole room as the waterworks let loose. The doll sobbed incessantly as she relentlessly pounded her fists against the Commander's chest.

"ARGH! DAMN IT!" The Commander cursed.

In a last ditch effort to resolve the situation, the Commander seized RO's Megaphone from her bag and ripped the volume slider to its highest setting.

"I AM NOT LEAVING GRIFFIN! I THREW THE GREEN ZONE CARD IN THE TRASH! I AM STAYING WITH THE COMPANY! I AM NOT LEAVING!"

The Commander's voice was loud enough to shake the whole room. Papers were kicked up from their piles and stacks and scattered across the room. Kalina and RO's hair was blown backwards and knocked loose of their hairbands.

The Commander huffed and puffed as a silence filled the room.

"...Y-You're not leaving?" Kalina finally broke the silence.

"No, I've renewed my contract. I'm staying on board."

"Oh...Phew." RO spoke up.

"Yeah, really, ya shoulda said somethin' earlier, Commander, ehehe." Kalina's ice-cold demeanor vanished in an instant, and she was right back to her usual bubbly self.

"I know, right? You really need to learn to speak up, Commander."

"I...Urgh, nevermind." The Commander sighed in annoyance.

Another awkward silence filled the room.

RO was the first to break the silence. "So...Uh...That clears up why you'd be upset at the Commander, but...why was I dragged along for this?"

"Oh...Someone ate that special edition snack cake that I ordered out of the break-room fridge."

RO's eyes guiltily widened. "T-That was yours?!"

Kalina folded her arms as she nodded accusingly. "Luckily, I installed a hidden camera inside in case something like this happened."

RO smiled deescalatingly. "Er...Sorry...I'll compensate you for it as soon as I can!"

Kalina smiled guiltily. "Oh, er...You don't need to worry about that. Dandelion found out and offered me a certain picture she snapped of you. I put up the only copy of it on the clearinghouse and it, er..sold rather quickly, for a pretty steep price, too! I made my money back and then some, ehehe."

"P-Picture?!" RO gasped.

"Dandelion's out taking pictures of other Dolls? Damn it, I told her to stay in my quarters! All it'll take is for that little trick she pulls to glitch out for just a second for us to have a shitstorm on our hands."

RO felt her blood(?) freeze solid...Dandelion has been quarantined to the Commander's room, that means that the picture that she took was...

RO's face turned bright red before she hid it in her hands. "No...Nononononononononono!"

As RO continued to fret and stew, the Commander's gaze fell on Kalina, and yet another awkward silence filled the room.

Kalina gave her trademarked innocent smile. "Ehehe...Well, um...Congratulations, Commander! You have completed the second iteration of the Griffin Commander Training Program...Uh...and I proudly present...Your reward!"

Kalina frantically opened up a drawer and rifled through its contents before pulling out a sheet of stickers. Nervously approaching the Commander, who stood still as a statue, Kalina slowly peeled one of them off and delicately stuck it over the Commander's breast pocket.

A golden star sticker, with the text on it reading "You Tried!"

"Well...Erm...It was nice clearing up that little misunderstanding, Commander, but I have...logistics stuff to do! Catch you later!"

Kalina turned to the door and began briskly walking to it.

"Kalina..." The Commander's voice stopped her in her tracks.

Kalina winced as she slowly turned towards the Commander. "Yes, Commander?"

"Drop and push until the fucking earth moves."