Word travelled fast through the ranks of the URTVs.
It was thanks to their hive-mind, infinitely more efficient than even the fastest spread gossip. The URTVs shared knowledge among themselves indiscriminately, right down to the most inane thought or sense. Rubedo knew the date and time of their next mission, just how bad the Institute's food was today, and that the white-haired variant freak, Number 667, was a violent monster.
Rubedo gritted his teeth. Even without the others focusing on it, he couldn't keep the events of the past few days out of his mind.
They felt wrong, like a distant dream- or, more accurately, a nightmare. Rubedo had always thought of Albedo as something delicate. He was so scared of everything- U-DO, the scientists at the Institute, even thunder.
Rubedo had been prepared to help him through their missions. He'd pick up Albedo's slack if he couldn't bear to fight U-DO, or hold his hand when he trembled, even carry him if he fainted. That was his job, after all, because Rubedo was the only thing in the world Albedo was never scared of. He was the only thing that could calm him down when nothing else could. All it took from Rubedo was a simple mental message to slow his racing heart and let him breathe again.
That was why Rubedo always felt something odd rising in him when Albedo argued with the standard units. Rubedo was the leader- he didn't need protecting. He didn't even know Albedo had that much courage in him!
That feeling, that discomfort, only took deeper hold of him when they found Albedo attacking Number 623. It still didn't feel real. That couldn't be the same Albedo who shook in Rubedo's arms after nightmares, who always seemed to hide behind his brothers when they talked to anyone else.
How could he be so violent?
Rubedo knew, though, he'd asked as much and found out. Part of him still didn't believe it.
"Hello?"
Sakura leaned down to the spot Rubedo's unfocused, blank eyes had deemed it most important to stare at. She waved.
"Are you okay, Rubedo?"
"Yeah. Fine." Rubedo wasn't a very good liar. He didn't have much practice, considering how he couldn't successfully lie to any of his brothers. He didn't like doing it, either, especially not to his friend.
Sakura saw through him immediately. "Rubedo-"
Rubedo scratched at the back of his head. "I don't wanna talk about it, Sakura. I'm here to help you, not the other way around."
She smiled. "I don't mind."
Rubedo exhaled. She was always so nice.
"Seriously, I don't wanna be a bother-"
"I don't have any other friends, Rubedo." Sakura protested. "Let me do this at least once, okay?"
"Alright, alright! Fine." Rubedo sighed. He didn't even know how to begin explaining all this.
Albedo hadn't understood. He'd only done such horrible things because he hadn't known.
Monster. Danger. A threat lurking in the shadows.
Rubedo's hand went to his head, as he grimaced. The chorus of voices warning one another about Albedo was only getting louder. He wanted to argue back, but they weren't wrong. Albedo had beaten one of their own. Number 623 was in the medical ward.
He was bleeding. His face is bruised. A shoulder is dislocated.
Rubedo had seen it. The injuries were as bad as they were saying. Maybe even worse. But Albedo hadn't known. He didn't understand- Rubedo didn't know if he could understand- but could Rubedo even understand him, knowing he couldn't be injured, and couldn't die?
"You ever want to help somebody, but just don't know how?" He asked. "…someone who has problems you can't even understand."
"Yeah, kind of." she said.
"I know someone who's going through something scary, and I want to help, but I don't even know how to talk to him about it." Rubedo sighed.
"Hmm… have you asked him about it?"
"That's even scarier." Rubedo remembered it every time he closed his eyes- the look of Albedo with his head blown clean off, a limp stump where his brother once was, the blood splattered everywhere.
He'd found a bit of it on his institute clothes later, when he was changing. He almost vomited.
"You're good at fighting scary stuff," Sakura said with a smile. "You're brave, Rubedo."
Rubedo shook his head. This was beyond what he knew about. U-DO didn't scare him that much, especially not after training, but this was different. This was Albedo- someone who couldn't possibly be scary!
"Fighting, yeah, but this isn't a problem I can fight." Rubedo's head dipped, hanging low. "I can't hurt him."
Stay away. Don't come near the white-haired demon.
The standard units were kind of right to be scared of him. But even if Albedo was a threat, even if he did try to hurt Rubedo for some reason, could Rubedo really fight him? Could he stand to immobilize Albedo, if he became violent again?
Albedo was his little brother- small, and timid, and unable to hurt a fly. How had this happened? When did he become immortal and vicious?
"You're a nice boy." Sakura said, insistent. "You're good at more than fighting."
Rubedo didn't believe that. They were made to fight U-DO, and nothing more than that. Technically, Albedo wasn't malfunctioning at all- they were supposed to be ready to fight, and his immortality probably made him a very powerful soldier.
It just turned something in his stomach to think of his little brother as a weapon of war.
"We aren't exactly trained in anything else," he protested, but she shook her head.
"You'll figure it out. I'm sure of it."
Rubedo was less sure. He couldn't even imagine immortality. How could he imagine trying to understand death while being immortal?
But… Albedo had to die, right? Everything died. Maybe he couldn't be killed like Rubedo or Nigredo could, but someday he would run out of energy. Otherwise, he just didn't make sense.
Rubedo waved goodbye to Sakura with as pleasant a smile as he could muster and a thank you on his lips. He didn't want her to know he was still brooding.
His feet kicked rocks aside as he made his way back to the institute. Even if Rubedo knew what to say, it was hard to talk to Albedo at all, nowadays. He'd all but disappeared after finding out about death. Their link was blocked.
Rubedo hoped that meant Albedo couldn't hear what the standard units were saying about him.
This is why you can't trust the variants! Freaks!
A tinge of guilt shocked through him. Albedo had done all that for him, to protect Rubedo.
It was his job to protect Albedo. Rubedo had to do something.
He pressed against the wall in their link. Albedo?
Quiet. It was still and empty in their minds.
Then, yes, Rubedo?
I'm in the garden. C'mon.
Rubedo didn't have to wait long before Albedo appeared, walking cautiously towards him.
"Is something wrong, Rubedo?" he asked. He was even more skittish than usual, now, fingers twitching and a leg bouncing in anticipation. His face, however, looked gaunt and tired, with his eyes sunken into his skull. The purple in his irises looked unnatural, almost like it was glowing against the darkened skin under his eyes.
Rubedo shook his head.
"Where have you been?"
"Thinking."
Rubedo wanted to ask what about, but he didn't want to know.
"Come play with us," he said. "Nigredo and I were gonna go down to the beach."
Was Albedo skinnier than usual? Rubedo didn't remember seeing him in the dining hall in the past few days.
He's a maniac! He almost killed Number 623!
"I don't want to."
The variants are unstable! Violent!
"But you always want to go to the beach."
Monsters! They'll attack their own kind!
"Well, now I don't."
That white-haired one is out of control!
"Aww, c'mon, Albedo."
They're all a mistake!
"Just go without me."
Albedo turned to leave, and Rubedo stepped forwards, desperate.
"Albedo!" he protested. "Is this about the standard units?"
Albedo stopped in his tracks. Rubedo's breaths turned shallow. He had to be right. That had to be it. Albedo was being persecuted by them- maybe semi-rightfully, but it still had to hurt. He hadn't known any better.
I don't care what you say about me. Albedo's voice tore through Rubedo's mind suddenly, caustic and deafening. I'd do it again, to any of you. You should be scared of me. Don't you dare say anything about Rubedo!
Rubedo fought to catch his breath. Albedo had transmitted loud enough for every URTV to hear, a heel dug into the ground.
"Albedo!" he said, alarm blooming in him, "wait!"
He didn't.
"You can't say stuff like that!"
He couldn't threaten them like that! The first time had been a mistake!
"Albedo!"
Rubedo could feel Albedo's presence fading in his mind, slipping like sand through his fingers. He gritted his teeth, frustration building to a boiling point, and kicked the tree beside him.
"Ugh!"
It only served to hurt his foot. Rubedo hissed in pain, as the sound of the standard units' tittering swirled around him.
He really is a monster.
He's proud of it!
He should be put down.
All of them should be!
Rubedo didn't want to go to the beach anymore.
Rubedo didn't see Albedo for the next week.
The standard units continued to chatter, but more quietly now. Their babbling faded into the background when Rubedo talked to Nigredo or Sakura.
He wanted to forget about it altogether. Yet, no matter what he did, all Rubedo could think about was the despair on Albedo's face, the look of pure dread twisting his features when he learned he would be alone one day.
Albedo?
Nothing.
Rubedo massaged his forehead. He just didn't know what to do.
Albedo wasn't a monster. Rubedo couldn't believe that. But he seemed so much like one lately, even though he had only gotten into a fight once, even though he hadn't said anything since the threat.
Maybe he wasn't a monster at all. Maybe he was something more like a ghost, because nowadays it seemed like he wasn't even real, as though Albedo had disappeared outright.
For the first, and far from last time in his life, Rubedo wished things could go back to how they used to be.
He missed Albedo. He didn't want another tense conversation, a negotiation with terms he didn't understand- Rubedo just wanted his little brother back, as annoying and clingy as he ever was. Rubedo wouldn't even mind looking after him anymore.
Rubedo wished he could distract himself. Sakura was busy today with a new treatment, though, and Nigredo was talking to their father. It seemed like he was always talking to their father. Albedo, obviously, wasn't around either.
It was just Rubedo, Rubedo alone, Rubedo and his thoughts.
Which was strange.
Rubedo noticed too late just how quiet it was. His head was never this quiet, with the 600 others he was linked to. Just as the thought crossed his mind, just as he began to think it was odd, everything exploded.
Takethatyoumonstergetoutgoawaystopitstophurtingusyoufreakwhyareyouinchargewhyareyousopowerfulyoureamistakewhydidtheycreateyouallyoudoisdestroyyouthinkyourebetterthanushowcouldyoudothatto623youwonthurtanyofusanymore
The thoughts twisted and writhed on one another, curling like smoke in Rubedo's mind, hot to the touch but too ephemeral to understand. He could feel the anger, hear scalding fury in the shouted thoughts, and for the first time in days, he felt a familiar presence.
Albedo!
Rubedo couldn't stop the thought that came hurtling from him. He searched for Albedo's presence and found him nearby, and without another thought Rubedo was dashing for him, mind racing.
What in the universe was going on?!
He got his answer soon enough, when he skidded to a stop before a grove of trees outside. A group of standard URTVs had taken matters into their own hands and ganged up on Albedo.
It was a disturbing sight, as much as Albedo's assault of Number 623 had been. Two of them had pinned Albedo's arms, holding him in place before he could fight back, and the others rained an onslaught onto him- kicks, punches, anything to beat him down.
But it was also odd. Despite how badly he was being injured- bruises blooming on his face, blood trickling from his nose, the occasional crack of broken bone- Albedo wasn't crying. He cried at everything, but now, in terrible pain, his eyes were completely dry.
Instead, Albedo was laughing.
"Albedo!" Rubedo shouted. It only momentarily interrupted the attack.
Whatshedoingherewhatshedoingherewhatshedoingherewhatshedoinghere
Albedo's laughter died down a little, head hanging limp.
"Rubedo," he said in-between giggles, a rather mild greeting for their circumstances.
Rubedo clenched his fists. "Let go of him!"
Albedo was already regenerating. His nose twisted back to its regular shape, and the bleeding from his mouth staunched, but Rubedo still couldn't bear to watch. Even if the beating wasn't permanent, Albedo didn't deserve to be hurt like this.
Nohesamonsterwecantlethimrunloosewearentsafewithhimaroundwehavetostophim
"Stop it! I'm not gonna let you hurt him!"
Hesademonhejustlaughsthisisntrighthesnotrightsomethingiswrongwithhimhesamistake
Rubedo clenched his fists. "Don't make me-!"
He didn't want to fight them. That would only make things worse. But he couldn't let them hurt Albedo. It was his job to protect his baby brother.
The voices melded then, unified as they pushed back against Rubedo.
Why are you defending him? They asked, echoing in his mind. You're supposed to be our leader. You should be helping us. But it looks like monsters stick together.
Monsters stick together.
Monsters.
"We aren't monsters!" Rubedo shouted. He was so sick and tired of the word, tired of being treated like a weapon! He had thoughts and feelings too!
The frustration and fury sparked around him, swirling like a tornado would. The standard units blinked at him with wide, identical eyes, as red dragon flickered to life.
That wouldn't do much to convince them he wasn't a monster.
Rubedo wrenched his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around himself. He had to try and swallow it down, to calm the beast roaring in his chest before it hurt any of them. He had only just learned how to use this power. He couldn't lose control, not now.
He focused on his breath, attempting to slow it, focused on the tight pull of his arms around him, focused on the touch of small fingers on his arm.
Rubedo's eyes flung open in alarm, only to see Albedo smiling gently at him.
"They're gone, Rubedo," he said, voice as gentle as it always should have been.
"Did…" Rubedo's voice cracked. "Did I hurt any of them?"
He didn't want to be a monster. He didn't want to lose control.
Albedo shook his head. Rubedo exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, letting his arms fall limp to his sides.
Red dragon was asleep once more.
"Are you alright?"
Albedo smiled, wide, and Rubedo wished he could swallow his words back. Of course Albedo was alright. He had no choice but to be.
"I mean… they were hurting you, and you were just… laughing."
"Isn't it funny, Rubedo?" Albedo asked genuinely, tilting his head to the side. "Their power is so little. They couldn't possibly hurt me. It's funny."
"I don't think any of this is funny!" Rubedo protested. "They were still trying to hurt you, Albedo. You shouldn't dismiss that."
"They were always scared of us." Albedo laughed humorlessly, dismissively. "I said they should be. We're much more powerful."
"We shouldn't be fighting." Rubedo protested, but weakly. He wished that none of this was happening.
"They started it. They knew we were more powerful, and they still made fun of you!"
"It doesn't matter." Rubedo said. "I don't want you to get hurt, Albedo."
Albedo stared at him.
"I can't." he explained, slowly.
Right.
The simple, incomprehensible explanation just made Rubedo angry.
"Still… what were you thinking?!" Rubedo snapped. He felt like that was all he asked Albedo, nowadays. "You shouldn't have egged them on like that!"
"I just told you." Albedo's wide eyes blinked. "They were making fun of you."
"That was days ago-!" Rubedo snapped.
"They were talking about all of the variants." Albedo reminded him, tapping the side of his head. Rubedo pursed his lips. Albedo was right, technically, but the one they were really mocking was Albedo.
Did he see that? Or did he just not care? Did Rubedo's reputation really matter that much more to him than himself?
None of this made sense.
"Well, don't do this for me." Rubedo crossed his arms. "I don't want this. They're just gonna hate you more, Albedo."
"Why would that matter?"
Rubedo's eyes flicked back to Albedo. He couldn't possibly be asking that, but he was, eyes sparkling, genuine.
"They'll do this again!"
"And?"
"And?"
"I'm fine," Albedo gestured to himself. He wasn't, not in Rubedo's opinion. His face was still smeared with dried blood, and his clothes were dirty, and even if he was healed now, he must've felt the pain of those bruises and broken bones. "I didn't fight back. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Rubedo felt again like he was staring down into a bottomless abyss, like Albedo was something foreign and strange. He always thought he understood his brother.
"None of this bothers you?"
Albedo shook his head. "I'm still with you, Rubedo."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We're the only people in the world who can understand each other."
The words were raw to Rubedo's ears, as though he was seeing a new part of Albedo laid bare. He averted his eyes, unable to stand it.
They were connected. Rubedo's link with Albedo was stronger than with anyone else's- as though they shared one mind. Even though they'd been separated, and he knew Albedo was physically removed from his own body, Rubedo could still feel the phantom beating of Albedo's heart in his chest.
Something about this, though, felt too intimate to accept.
"Well, there's Nigredo," Rubedo protested weakly. He was a variant, too.
Albedo looked at him oddly. His brows pulled upwards, and his eyes narrowed, as though Rubedo couldn't quite be made out.
"They're nothing compared to us." Albedo said, crossing his arms as well, mouth frowning. "They don't matter. I'm not going to let them make fun of you."
"Albedo…" Rubedo protested. This seemed so unlike him. "Aren't you scared?"
"No. They're pathetic."
Rubedo couldn't help but prod at Albedo's mind, reflexively searching for his feelings. It was so hard to discern, nowadays, as everything got more and more confusing and Rubedo just couldn't understand him anymore.
He wasn't lying- Rubedo could feel a mixed sense of pride burning within Albedo, at defending his older brother and surviving the onslaught. Yet, there was more there. Darkness lurked at the corners, ready to lap up against Albedo's small victory. It was a bottomless ocean of fear, churning in Albedo's mind, ready to swallow him whole.
Rubedo remembered how Albedo had flung himself at him after discussing Number 623. Rubedo had been afraid of the lunge for only a moment before Albedo wrapped his arms around him, tears wetting Rubedo's shirt.
Rubedo reached out on instinct. Albedo tensed at the touch, but relaxed as Rubedo pulled him near.
Rubedo couldn't begin to think how he could comfort Albedo, what he could say to make him stop lashing out or make him less afraid. He could feel tears almost coming to his own eyes, now, at the hopelessness of it all.
It was his job to protect Albedo. How could he be so helpless?
"We'll defeat U-DO soon." He said. His hands travelled over Albedo's back, holding him close. "Then, all of this will be over. We can leave, and none of this will matter anymore."
Then Albedo could be normal again. No one would be mocking Rubedo, or questioning him. They could just be normal.
"Then we can do whatever we want." Rubedo pressed his face into the top of Albedo's head. He was getting a little taller than Albedo nowadays, something he noted with pride.
There were all sorts of things Albedo could do once they were free. Albedo liked the beach. He liked the stray animals that wandered around the institute, sometimes. He liked old books, same as Rubedo did.
"I want nothing." Albedo said instead, dripping with bitterness, as though the words themselves had a sharp edge.
Why was he like this, now? Why did he say things like that?
"Aww, c'mon Albedo-"
"Nothing but you." Albedo's arms tightened around Rubedo. "That's all that matters."
"'course we'll be together." Rubedo said. Him, Albedo, and Nigredo- they were a trio. "But there's more to it than that."
Albedo was silent. He had to be brooding. Rubedo racked his mind, searching for something to comfort him, anything that could make him feel better.
Albedo had to see the images Rubedo was thinking of- staying with Sakura and her parents, visiting the beach, libraries full of books for them to read and sunny days where they could play together and forget about all of this.
How could none of that convince him? It sounded so perfect. Albedo wouldn't have to have nightmares anymore, and Nigredo could spend more time with them, and they wouldn't have to train for hours and end up sore and tired.
"We'll find some way of fixing you," Rubedo said, the idea coming to him all at once. "There's got to be a way. Sakura's dad is a scientist, y'know? I'm sure there's someone who would know how to make you just normal."
Albedo looked up at him then, with glistening purple eyes.
"Do you really think that?"
"Yeah. We won't be fighting anymore, so it doesn't matter if you can regenerate… we'll all just be normal. You should be normal too. We'll find a way."
Albedo's words echoed around in Rubedo's mind. If you die, I wanna die, too.
"You'll be just like me," Rubedo said, mouth dry.
