Fury
Chapter Five
It was pouring out that day. Java came in caked in filth and no cares in the world. Ma was across the ocean filming more of what she called "bored housewife fodder", which meant Java was free from her judgmental eye for a while. No having to be perfectly pristine and manicured. No ugly comparisons thrown at her and her siblings. Things were peaceful. Pa had indulged her in getting some paint balling and archery done for the afternoon without having to watch either of her sisters. She walked down to the closest bathroom and was about to strip her mud littered clothes off when she heard sniffling. She opens the bathroom door an inch to see her littlest sister on the floor crying in a very elaborate dress. Ma had decided to tour Ebony around any child pageant she could find. Pa absolutely refused to let the girls be in the media any more than they already were and that was the next closest thing to acting or modeling Adah had thought of. Java and Siva had been deemed not worth the effort. For once, Java didn't mind. Pa did though. They argued more and more these days. She remembered that today had been Ebony's first show without their Mother. Java decides to barge in and throws the light on.
"Out, brat! I need a shower." She demands loudly, motioning at herself and the mud she is quickly getting everywhere. Ebony looks over her shoulder and Java lets out a laugh: her sister looks like a hilarious wreck. The nine year old has make-up smeared everywhere and her headpiece is barely clinging to her curls. It only serves to make Ebony's crying louder. Java looks around for the nanny or Siva but has no such luck. She should just go to another bathroom, but she is in too good a mood to leave her little sister in tears. She rolls her eyes and sits down next to Ebony. "Alright, what are you going on about?"
Ebony holds out a small trophy she was clutching to her chest that declares she got second place. Java groans. "Really? That's why you're crying?"
Ebony shakes her head. "Ma called. She said I was a loser." Even Java winces and bites back a comment at that. Her sister sniffs and rubs at her face with her smudgy little hands. "Sh-She said I m-must not have tried very hard. When I told her I did everything I could, she called me a b-b-"
"I bet she did." Java interrupts with a shake of her head. She's been called that by their Ma too. Perhaps that is why Ebony's misery isn't entertaining her this time around. She tentatively puts a hand on Ebony's back and rubs up and down. "Ma isn't always right, you know."
Ebony looks up at her with little raccoon eyes. "Really?"
Java shrugs. "Ma calls me a loser all the time. Do you think I'm a loser?"
"No." She says quietly. "You're the strongest person I know."
Java rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "That doesn't stop me from coming in second or third all the time. You have so many first place trophies and ribbons. Are you really gonna let one second place stop you?"
"No." Ebony replies, her waterworks finally stopped. Java helps her wash her face off gently and gets her out of her overly scratchy dress. She sends her on her way wrapped in a robe and a promise to help her with her archery. Java finally takes her shower. When she is done she heads to her room. She finds the door ajar so she peeks in curiously. There is something on her bed. Java walks over and picks up a rather large ribbon, its original banner replaced up with the words "World's Strongest Sister". She picks it up and grins at it despite herself. Ebony was so odd. Sometimes sweet, sometimes demonic. Most changeable little brat on earth. Java glances out her window and she can see Ebony already suited up with a bow. She settles for placing it on the side of her vanity mirror as she goes to collect her gear.
It stays there until Ma eventually returns and punishes both of them for defacing it, at which point she and her sister go back to their fighting, timid little Siva caught between.
The journey across the water is only three days, but for Java it's an eternity. She hasn't been on water in years and she spends each morning puking her guts out. The captain, who was sixteen if that, gives her a bracelet to wear against her pulse that is supposed to help. She doubts it had any effect at all. She keeps to herself for most of the trip. When they reach land, she grumpily marches to the closest shelter, trades away more of her booze, and sleeps like the dead.
Java has never been this far south before. Most people hadn't, given the lack of transport available, as well as its reputation as being wild and untamed ever since the virus. They called these sectors The Wasteland, like it was something out of a disaster movie. Even Ram had been hesitant to try and move in on the territory. She had never taken the rumors to heart until she ran into two mini bands of gangs trying to get to the next town. Teens all in face paint shooting at each other hazardously. They were shockingly armed but unorganized, and both of them bolted after she shot a member from each party with her wrist laser. She was beginning to consider it her only silver lining from the Technos. She was also surprised to find herself as part of a mass exodus from the north. Whatever that megalomaniac dork was planning in the city had people running scared.
She found herself at a small bar not terribly unlike the ones at Liberty. She hadn't even had a drink before a small riot broke out around her. Someone's body flew a little too close to her face and she cracked her knuckles. After an impressive show of beating heads in so she could have a goddamn drink in peace, the kids working the place offered her a job protecting them. It mostly meant she was getting paid to bust drunks and troublemakers. They had their fair share of would-be marauders and slave runners, and Java had endless anger issues that gave her the energy to break their skulls in. She had food, shelter, and besides her lingering sickness, was better off than most. She continued under the name Eve since she was already used to answering to it.
She shared a room with another girl, Robin, who was quiet and seemed to understand she wanted to be left alone. The other kids all had bird names like Raven, Hawk, Sparrow, a whole weird flock of birds. They were pleasant enough, though they all gave her a wide berth. They were all so young, all of them still teens.
Java dreams vividly about her family at night. Once in a while it's pleasant, but most of the time she relives the days her mother was alive. She had spent so long burying her hurt in distractions, Ram's grand plan, and ironically alcohol. Now that she was too sick to drink and had nothing else to do but bust idiots heads in, her past was making itself ever present.
God she missed her sister.
Around the third week of throwing up every morning, Java was busy trying to fend off nausea when she noticed some of the girls staring and whispering. She looked over and scowled and they left to find something else to do. Robin brought her over some tea. Java thanked her and gulped some down. The blue haired girl remained quietly.
"Yeah?" Java asked.
"Can we talk? Privately?" Java eyed her warily but agreed. They head up to their room where Java lays on her side nursing her stomach. She looks over at Robin expectantly. The girl timidly kneels in front of her and looks her in the eyes. "Eve, is there a chance you're pregnant?"
Java cannot help the laugh that bursts out. "What are you talking about?" She asks. She expects Robin to laugh as well, but she doesn't. Instead the girl sighs and sits down.
"Eve, you have been sick every day since you've gotten here."
"I caught something nasty from traveling." Java interrupts.
"That only affects you in the morning? That's morning sickness. Besides, you were complaining your clothes don't fit despite how active you are and how little you eat." Java shakes her head, but Robin continues. "All the weight you've put on is at your middle. When was the last time you've had your period? Most of us all get it around the same time and you haven't asked any of the girls for supplies."
Java loses her smirk and frowns. Her period has always been a little off but now that she thinks about it, she hasn't had it since before leaving Liberty. There is silence as dread fills her and she gets up and runs to the restroom. She throws up her tea and sits on the ground in a panicky pile, arms around her shoulders.
After a few minutes Robin pops her head in. "Are you okay?"
"No." Java mumbles back.
"There's a girl I know who has stuff for this... problem." Robin tells her quietly.
Java nods and then stands up. "I need to get out of here for a while. I'll be back before we open." She leaves before anything else can be said, stomping her way towards the forest.
Stupid! She is so fucking stupid! How the hell had it not occurred to her what was going on in her own body? It had been so obvious even the flock of birds had noticed before her. It seemed like a terrible joke. She had spent one night, just one, with her "husband" and now look at her. She isn't sure who she's pissed at more: herself or him.
Ram.
Just the thought of him still brought massive sorrow and endless wrath. She wanted to scream and strangle him. She wanted him to hold her close and assure her everything would be okay. Neither were going to happen.
She was on her own.
She wanders the surrounding forest for a while in an angry daze. When the vexation finally subsides into misery she finds a good sized rock by the river and sits down. Her hand goes unconsciously to her abdomen. She takes a good look around her to insure her privacy and then starts to sob. Loud ugly cries fill the woods in her despair. She wishes Siva was here so badly. Java muses she would have been happy and would have figured out what to do next. There were no doctors, no hospitals, nowhere safe she could bring this kid into the world. The very act could certainly kill her. Even then, Java wasn't certain she's fit to be anyone's mother. Her own mother had been a better alcoholic than she was a mom. Her privileged yet bleak childhood was proof of that. She couldn't even keep her sister alive, how the hell would she do with a baby?
And what about when the kid is here? Where was she gonna get clothes, or bottles, or diapers? What would she do with it if she had to go bust heads in? The thoughts swarm her and she puts her head down for a long time.
When her tears run dry, Java collects herself. As much as the idea of being a mother fills her with dread, she really can't stomach the idea of getting rid of it. Call it selfishness in not wanting to lose anyone else. Call it greedy desire to keep the sole proof that Ram cared about her. Besides, she honestly didn't trust whatever home remedy the kids out here were using. She can hear her grandmother's voice in her head telling her women did this for centuries before they had proper doctors. She wishes her grandmother was here, or just anybody so she wouldn't feel so out of her depth.
Her quiet moment is ruined with the sound of gun fire. Java immediately gets herself up and behind some foliage. This was the other downside on being on this side of the ocean; the amount of guns available seems to have tripled. She has no idea where they get their supplies. Java sighs and looks down at the small bump forming at her midsection. "I'm sorry." She whispers down to it as kids in black and grey go marching by with a small chain gang of slaves. This is not the world she ever imagined living in, let alone raising a kid in. She watches as they lead their bounty off, and she swears to herself she will not let them end up like that. She will find some place safe and remote, even if she has to journey deeper into The Wasteland to do it. She holds her breath as they march out of view and she slowly comes out of hiding. She heads back to her bar, hand on her abdomen.
"Well kid, you've been played a bad hand." She tells the tiny bump at her stomach, rubbing it slow and gentle. It feels bizarre but strangely soothing. "I don't know what will happen and I will probably go crazy, but I promise to try and not screw up like my Ma. I will keep you safe."
By the time she returns to work, she has pulled herself together. She spends the afternoon taking weapons and kicking out kids too drunk to function. Everyone is drinking like it is the end. Word has hit that the virus has re-asserted itself in the city and now people are coming through in large groups trying to find a new home. Good for business, but bad for a pregnant Java who is now constantly aware of how many weapons are around them. That night she misses a knife on a girl and poor little Raven almost gets stabbed in the stomach. Java knocked the knife away before she was hurt, but the incident is enough to make her re-evaluate the safety of her current home.
Java does her best the next month to ask around and try to find safer territory, but with the release of the virus and large parties of people pouring in, she has yet to even hear about anywhere safe. Everyone is confused and running scared. Java begins trying to get her hands on something more formidable than her laser, whose charge will eventually run dry. Thankfully part of the many survival activities they were involved in as children included shooting weapons. She could fire a variety of guns with no sweat. She would prefer a crossbow, but she will take what she can get.
Eventually her morning sickness fades and the idea of being a mother no longer sends her into panic. Her bump is becoming more visible every passing day. She lets herself wonder idly if her kid will be short or tall, fair or dark, light eyes or brown. She worries what she will do if they turn out to be super intelligent and how she would manage. There is another part of her terrified her kid will inherit her temper and all the troubles that go with it.
She is at the market one day on the lookout for a decent compact bow when she hears someone whistling at her. She sees Sparrow running up behind her, the petite mousy boy out of breath. "Is everything okay?" She asks concerned, ready to go back and break something if needed.
Sparrow nods as he catches his breath. "Everything is fine. Some lady is at the bar waiting to talk to you. Says it's important."
Java scoffs. "Then she can wait until I am done shopping." She says as she reaches out for a particularly attractive set of arrows.
"She said to tell you it's about someone named Java."
She freezes at the statement. She had yet to run into anyone who recognized her and had supposed with her hair being short and her face plain no one would. She zips her large jacket up to better hide her stomach and wordlessly heads back to the bar with Sparrow.
At the bar, Java finds a young woman with black and pink hair and a familiar pentagram on the back of her hand chatting with Robin. As she turns around, Java recognizes her face and her stomach sinks uneasily.
"Mallrat." She mutters out.
Notes: Thanks for reading and commenting.
