When Mikasa came back to the orphanage after Armin's funeral that afternoon, no one tried to disturb her. She was still thinking back to Armin's words yesterday. When she looked around, she could clearly see that the assistants were worked up over something. She tried ignoring it, but soon she spotted a woman outside the window. She seemed like a working woman, middle-aged, someone who worked in a technology firm, probably, by her attire. She was arguing with one of the caretakers frantically.
Stella then came into room
"Lady Mikasa, lunch is almost ready for the kids."
"Stella, who's that woman outside?"
Stella then nervously said
"Um…uh…that's nothing miss. Just a trivial issue…"
She slowly stopped when Mikasa glared at her.
"What someone from the firm doing here, Stella?"
Stella then said slowly
"W-Well, you see…she came here for taking her son back. He came here on his own this morning, after you left for the funeral."
"On his own?" Mikasa asked interestedly
"Yes. His father died three months ago. No matter how many times his mother begged him to come back, he isn't budging. We asked him to go before he caught your attention, but he isn't listening."
"Does he have any friends here or something like that?"
"No. In fact he hasn't been talking to anyone around. He's just staying alone, keeping to himself."
"What about his mother? Did she do something to him? Any sort of violence or abuse to him?"
"No. Not at all. She seemed like a really caring parent to him. He's the only memory she has of her husband, so she cares about him a lot. I asked her if they had an argument or something, but she just said no. She said that he's been really rude to her despite how much she cares about him and today, he just came here out of the blue without a word to her. It's really strange"
"Where is he now?"
"He's in room 138, reading some books."
"Call the mother here. I want to talk to her."
"But miss-"
"Get her here. Now." She said strongly
"Y-Yes."
A few minutes later, she came into the room, who was on the verge of tears
"You must be the mother, correct?" Mikasa said
"Y-Yes, Lady Mikasa. My name is Olivia. I…work in the Shiganshina Tech Firm."
"Please be clear. Only then I can help you. Did you attack or abuse your child in any way?"
"N-No! I would never! I cared for him in every way possible!"
"Then why did he come here, to an orphanage while he still has a parent?" Mikasa asked
She bent her head down in thought and said slowly
"I don't know. After my husband died of disease, our financial situation was not so good. So I had to go to work at the firm for money. I've done everything I can for him. I've worked for hours at length for more money, ensured he gets good food to eat, ensured that he's kept safe from harm. After me and my husband lost our parents, we only had each other. And after my husband died, my child's the only family I have. The only place I can call home..." Olivia said as she began to cry
Mikasa looked at the woman in pity. She saw a little of herself in the woman, someone who was taking care of the last remnants of her family, so that she doesn't lose them too.
Olivia then held her head slightly in pain and went down to her knees
"W-What happened?" Mikasa bent to the woman and asked in concern
"I-I haven't been sleeping well for the past few weeks. Looks like taking its toll now. I have a few body pains as well."
Mikasa then turned to Stella
"Stella, take her to the infirmary."
"But…my son…" Olivia began
"Don't worry, he'll be fine here. I assure you that." Mikasa said gently
"Please tell him to come home…" Olivia whimpered
"I will. Now go take care of yourself. You'll need to be fine to take care of him, right?"
"…Okay. Thank you."
Another assistant came and escorted the woman
Mikasa turned to Stella
"Get the kid." She growled
"Y-Yes."
She then went down to the room and brought the boy. Mikasa took a close look at him. He looked nearly 13-14 years old. He was fairly tall, about the same height Armin was when they joined the corps. What she mainly looked at were his eyes. She's seen those eyes before. They were the same cold, uncaring eyes she'd seen when she met Eren in the Marleyan restaurant all those years ago.
"He's here, Lady Mikasa." Stella said
Mikasa then went up and asked him "What's your name, kid?"
"Ronnie."
He then asked her,
"Why did you called for me, miss?" he asked in an even tone
"I met your mother a few minutes back. She seemed quite distressed about you. There's no reason for you to stay here if you have a parent."
The boy's eyes furrowed as he clicked his tongue
"I don't want to." He said coldly
Mikasa's eyes furrowed. She then went up and asked him
"Why? She really cares about you. And from what she said, she isn't the type of woman to assault her children. Or…does she and didn't mention it?"
"No. She doesn't."
"Then why don't you go back to her? She wants you to come home." She forced herself to speak in an even tone despite how disturbed and frustrated she was
"I don't want her. Is that enough reason?"
Stella put her hand on her mouth. Mikasa's eyes went wide at this. Hearing Ronnie say that, despite all the care his mother showed him, made her remember Eren's words to her that day
"Ever since I was a kid…Mikasa, I've hated you."
That was it.
Mikasa went up and held the boy by the collar in rage, enough to make him flinch a little
"You…little…brat! You really take kindness for granted, don't you?!"
Stella went to calm her down
"Lady Mikasa-"
"Stand. back." She said in a rageful tone.
Stella gulped and went back
Mikasa then turned back to Ronnie
"And you, listen! You should feel happy that there's a person who cares about you in this cruel world! Go ask any of the kids in this building! They'd do anything to get someone who cares about them. You don't know how it feels like to be alone in this world!
Have you ever looked at your mother?! Do you know how much she cares about you?! How much she loves you?! She works beyond her abilities to give you good food to eat, even at the cost of her health! She's ready to do anything, maybe even kill someone, if it means to keep you safe! All she wants to do is to keep the last one of her family alive!"
Ronnie grit his teeth and pushed her hand away from him, making her fall on the ground.
"You think I don't know that?!" he argued
Stella went up to help Mikasa, who stopped her with a gesture
Teeth gritted, the boy kept saying
"All you keep saying is how much she worries about me, how much she cares about me, how much she does this, she does that…have you even heard my side of the story?!"
Mikasa and Stella looked at the enraged boy
"Yeah, I know. My mother works at the firm for nearly 10 hours a day. A few hours in the morning and a few hours in the night She always comes home tired and exhausted every day. Except for school, she comes out with me every time while doing her work at the same time. She does a lot of things for me, I know that!
BUT I NEVER ASKED HER FOR THAT, OK?!
She's lost her husband, yes…but I lost my father…and you don't have a lot of them! You have only one. And I lost him. He was my hero since childhood! I visited him in the hospital every single day. I saw him slowly die right in front of my eyes. Do you know how that feels?!"
Tears began to lace the boy's cheeks
"There…are times when I see those scenes in my dreams. Him with all those weird things on his body. I still hear him cough in my ears. I miss him so much, that I start crying sometimes.
It hurts so much…Sometimes I get scared that I'll lose myself in that pain…" he said as tears streamed from his eyes
He then went on his knees and looked down at the ground. He then wiped his tears and continued as he held his head with both hands
"Yeah, I know. I'm the only thing left as family for my mother and she tries her hardest to not lose me. She makes sure I get good food to eat. She tries to keep me safe, almost to the point of being overprotective about me. But in the past three months, she hasn't even tried to understand what I'm going through. I just wanted someone to stay with me and help me get through this…at least until I get over it and move on…losing your parent is not easy…it feels like…your whole world falls apart. You know how that feels, don't you?!" Ronnie looked at her and said
Mikasa looked at Ronnie as his words went into her head.
"I'm fine with eating a morsel less for dinner every day, I'm even ready to even go for an unsafe job for more money, if it means for her to be by my side for a while.
I asked her…so many times to stay at home with me for a while, and let me do a job, but she always says
"No, I have to. I have to go to work for your sake. I have to protect you."
You say that she cares about me, then why hasn't she been with me…even if it's a little…after my father's death?"
Mikasa was taken aback at this. As she understood the boy, she began to slowly feel as though it was Eren's voice in her ears. Ronnie continued
"She doesn't think of me as her son…she just…thinks of me as a source of strength and comfort…a home to come back to. No no no no no, that can't be right…she does almost everything she can for me, to protect me, even at the cost of her own health, without thinking of what I really need at that moment…what is she, my sla-"
Mikasa's breath hitched as she looked down, eyes wide. But the boy refrained himself with a gulp
"N-No... that's not it, either. But in any case…I'm not some keepsake from my father to be protected and I'm not someplace she can come back towards to feel safe…I'm also a human dammit! Even I have feelings, even I have attachments, and it affects me just as much as her, if not more, when I lose them. Why is that so difficult for her to understand?!
She did things for me that I never asked for, she's going through so much pain because of me, and she's never been with me when I needed her the most…if this sadness and guilt is what I have to live with…then I don't want a mother like that! I'd rather be alone like this and die…at least I can let go of the guilt" he said as the remaining tears came along his cheeks
Mikasa stayed silent for a few seconds.
She then stared up at the boy, then she stared down. Mikasa then got up and slowly said
"Stella, take him to his mother in the infirmary."
"Wh-What happened to my mother? Did I do anything?" Ronnie asked in an afraid tone
"No No, Nothing concerning you. It's just…she had not been sleeping well for a while…so much that her head started to hurt. So I told her to take rest here. Don't worry, she'll be fine."
"T-Thank you. I'm really sorry if I said something offensive." Ronnie replied
"No, it's fine. You just told what you really felt. There's nothing offensive about that. Your mother needs to rest for a while anyways, so why don't you tell her what you told me just now? She'll probably understand. If she doesn't understand even then, then the doors of this place will be open for you."
Ronnie nodded. Mikasa then turned to Stella and slowly said
"Stay with him and don't send anyone to the room. I…I need some time alone."
"Yes ma'am."
Stella then went with Ronnie out of the room, leaving Mikasa inside
A/N: So I've been thinking for a while...both Mikasa and Eren have lost their parents...so why does Mikasa seem more accepting of their deaths while Eren still isn't over it? Although it doesn't seem like it, Eren was still haunted by them many times while Mikasa didn't seem so. This question led me to this answer. So...please give your responses.
