On Special Days, We Wear Pink

~oOo~

Olivia pulled up in front of the Carisi household to pick up Noah, Jesse, and Billie who had spent the day with Carisi's parents while everyone else prepared for the ceremony the following day. The SVU squad had worked a half day today leaving Velasco to run the ship over the weekend with strict instructions to only call the others if something major came up. The SVU family were all preparing for a special ceremony for the Rollins girls; this weekend, after years of paperwork and legal obligations, they would finally become Rollins-Carisis.

Olivia had just turned off the engine when the back door of the SUV opened and Jesse jumped in the car and shoved a container of cookies toward her godmother. "Nonna made cookies for you Aunt Livia! She said you had to share them with Grandma B, but not Uncle Elliot." The young girl took a breath before she continued. "She said she was going to make his favorite tonight and bring them tomorrow, but don't tell him that. Okay?"

"Okay, I promise Jess." She laughed at the serious look on the girl's face. If she didn't know any better, she would swear the young girl inherited that look from Sonny Carisi himself. She looked around. "Where's Noah and Billie?"

Jesse's eyes went wide. "Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell Nonna when you got here. Billie is helping her make more cookies so she can stay awake, and Noah," she paused, "he's listening to music. He's been in a mood all afternoon." '

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Nonna told me," she rolled her eyes and used her hands to make air quotes, "to let him be." She quickly added in a pout, "He wouldn't even dance with me! He always dances with me!"

Before Olivia could respond the sharp voice of Serafina Carisi rang through the air. "Jesse Rollins!" Both Olivia and Jesse quickly turned to see Sonny's mom walk down the front steps carrying a sleepy looking Billie. "You can't just run out of the house without telling me and get into someone's car."

"It's just Aunt Livia, Nonna, and…" she paused and placed her hands on her hips, "it's Jesse Rollins-Carisi. I'm gettin' adopted tomorrow, remember?"

Olivia almost snorted in laughter, but was cut off by Serafina. "Well, Jesse Rollins-Carisi, don't sass your grandmother and of course I remember!" The woman shook her head in amusement, before turning to Noah who had been behind her carrying his and Jesse's backpacks. "Thank you Noah," she said as he took Billie's backpack from her to put in the trunk.

As she got out of the car, Olivia didn't miss the huffed, "like we could forget" as Jesse went on and on about the events planned for the next day. Noah put the backpacks away before coming to stand next to his mom. Olivia shot him a questioning look, but he ignored her.

"Hello, Olivia." The older woman smiled as Olivia opened the back door where Billie's booster seat was. "She was just about to go down for a nap when you texted Noah saying you were on your way." She smiled as Billie reached out for her godmother.

"Aunt Livia." Billie snuggled into Olivia's shoulder as she was transferred over. She sleepily raised her head. "Nonna painted my nails for my 'doption tomorrow." She showed off her pink nails. "Pretty?" she asked as she was placed in her booster.

"Very pretty," Olivia agreed as she buckled her in. "Jesse, are your nails painted too?"

The young girl nodded enthusiastically. "Pretty 'n pink for tomorrow. Noah wouldn't let us paint his nails," she scoffed.

Olivia laughed as she turned to her son who rolled his eyes and shook his head. He was standing with Mrs. Carisi who had her arms wrapped around his shoulders. "Ready to go? Eli picked up your suit from the dry cleaners for tomorrow." She shut the car door. "Grandma B wants you to try it on and pick out your tie."

Noah sighed as he turned to the woman he now saw as his grandmother too. "Grazie Nonna." He gave her a quick hug, but she pulled him in close.

"Benvenuto mio nipote." She smiled and then whispered into his ear, "I'll bring zeppole just for you tomorrow, and I'll teach you how to make it the next time you come over." She kissed the top of his head before he pulled away to climb in the front seat.

Olivia watched the interaction between the two and kept the happy tears at bay for the family that had been created from colleagues, who turned into friends, who then turned into a family. She watched as Noah climbed into the car before turning to Serafina. "I hope he wasn't like that all day. He's not usually this—"

"Teenager-y?" The older woman laughed. "Oh you should have seen Dominick at his age." Serafina's tone switched to motherly concern. "Olivia, he wouldn't talk about it with me either, but you should know his mood shifted when Jesse and Billie started, and wouldn't stop," she winked, "talking about tomorrow and how they are getting adopted."

Olivia sighed thinking back to Noah's slumped shoulders and seemingly brewing attitude. "I have an idea. Thank you again for watching him."

Before Olivia could protest, she was pulled in for a tight hug. "He is welcome here anytime he wants, and so are you."

Olivia smiled in gratitude. "We should get going before rush hour." She made her way to the driver's side and started the car. "Tell Nonna bye, girls. Noah."

A chorus of 'bye Nonna' came from the backseat before Jesse piped up with, "Wear pink tomorrow Nonna, so we can match in our family pictures."

"Okay, Jess!" The older woman laughed. "Be good for Aunt Livia! I will see you tomorrow. I love you!" She shut the door and blew a kiss toward them as they pulled away.

As Olivia stopped at the red light, she looked over at Noah who was slumped down in his seat with his head on the window. "Noah?" she asked, hoping to coax him into opening up with what was bothering him.

Noah turned to look at her with a look that let her know he didn't want to talk right now. She squeezed his knee letting him know she understood and they would talk later in private. He nodded his head in thanks as he placed his AirPods in and turned to stare back out the window. Olivia looked in the rearview mirror to see Billie had already fallen asleep, and Jesse had her little sister's hand wrapped tightly in her own. She was sure Jesse would also end up falling fast asleep before reaching Manhattan. She looked over at Noah again as he tapped his foot to the music he was listening to. The silence left her with time to think about Noah and his current mood. He had been off this morning too when Sonny had picked him up, but she thought it may have been from Noah's original plans for the day being canceled last minute. He was supposed to have had a sleepover with Kieran and Seamus, but those plans had been dashed when both boys had woken up with a stomach bug they had caught at baseball camp. Then, Eli had already agreed to work an extra shift to earn money for his trip back to Italy to visit some of his friends. Dickie and Lizzie both had to work, and Kathleen and Bernie were off to doctor's visits and last minute errands. Noah had agreed to spend the day with the girls at their grandparents house since she was still reluctant to let the teen stay home alone all day. It frustrated him more now that he was older, but at least he knew Serafina would have fresh baked croissants and cookies waiting for them, and she would make spaghetti from scratch because it was his favorite. Olivia knew he honestly didn't mind spending the day with the girls because, even though they were younger, both girls loved to dance and would practice his routines with him or help him rehearse for the off-broadway play he was auditioning for in the coming months. Plus Nonna Carisi, as he called her, would teach him Italian and how to cook. Olivia also knew spending the day there made him feel like an even bigger part of a family with another grandmother who loved him.

Noah caught her eye and she mouthed an "I love you" to him, and he smiled back at her and signed `I love you", but she could see the tears brimming and threatening to fall. He closed his eyes before turning back to stare out the window. Her heart broke for her boy even though she wasn't quite sure yet what was bothering him.

~oOo~

Olivia parked the car and turned to wake up Noah who had fallen asleep on the way home. "Noah," she ran her hand through his curls to gently wake him, "honey, wake up."

"Mom?" He turned to face her. "We home?" Sleep was still evident in his voice. "Where's the girls?" He turned to look in the backseat to see they were missing.

"You fell asleep right before we dropped them off. Jess was still wanting to paint your nails before she went inside." Olivia laughed as Noah quickly surveyed his nails to make sure they weren't pink. "Billie wanted me to remind you you promised to wear your pink tie tomorrow."

"Oh yeah." He pushed his curls back with his hand. "I kind of thought she would forget about that." He sighed. "I promised her I would if she would give me a break from talking about tomorrow."

Olivia laughed. "You know Billie doesn't forget a promise, especially when it comes to her favorite people and her favorite color." She paused, choosing her next words carefully to gauge his reaction. "It's a special day tomorrow."

"Yeah, it is," Noah huffed looking out the window again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He turned to look at her with tears brimming in his eyes. "Jesse asked me what color I want them to wear on my special day."

His eyes bore into hers, and the look he gave her reminded her of the little six year old boy who was once upset about his friend asking about his father. The look of a boy who just wanted a dad. "Noah—"

"I told her I didn't know because I wasn't having a special day like her." He wiped the tears that finally fell before continuing. "Then, she asked me why not since I have Elliot now and I call him dad like she and Billie do with Uncle Sonny." He took a breath and asked in a whisper, "Momma?"

Her eyes connected with his, tears threatening to spill at the broken sound of his voice. "Yes, baby?"

"I want a special day too," his voice broke. "I know I had one when you adopted me, but—" He paused and wiped at the tears falling from his face. "Would Dad adopt me?" He nervously shuffled his phone between his hands waiting for her answer.

Liv smiled, joy radiating across her face. "Noah Porter Benson," she punctuated each of his names with a kiss to his cheek, "I know he would love that very much. He's been waiting for you to decide it's what you want." Her thumb brushed the tears running down his cheeks. "He loves you so much."

Noah's face lit up. "Will you help me ask him?"

She took his hands into hers. "You tell me when and what you want to do, and of course I'll help you."

"I want to ask him on Father's Day." He smiled quickly adding, "As a surprise."

"Okay, I'll call Trevor Langan and Judge Linden first thing tomorrow to start the initial paperwork."

"Thanks Mom." Noah's face brightened. "Can I go in and call Kieran and Seamus to see if they want to play video games online?"

"Sure." Olivia laughed to herself at how quickly his mood and demeanor had changed.

He jumped out of the car, but quickly turned back. "Mom?"

"Hmm?" She looked up from getting her bag out of the car.

"Do I have to change my name to just Noah Stabler?" He grinned. "I kind of like being a Benson."

She took in how grown up he looked and thought back to that little baby she found in a dresser drawer. That same little boy became hers and changed her world; he became her sunshine in the darkness, her Noah Porter Benson. "No baby, you can choose to be Benson-Stabler like me or you can keep Benson. It's your choice."

Noah paused to think. "Okay, I like Team Benson, but I like Team Stabler too." He thought a second longer. "And Mom?"

Olivia turned to make eye contact with her son as they walked. "Yeah?"

"I really am happy for Billie and Jessie."

Olivia stopped walking and pulled him in for a tight hug. "I know Noah." She kissed his head. "I love you so much."

Noah melted into her embrace. "I love you too, Mom." He pulled back slightly from her hug to look her in the eyes. "And I'm really grateful you're my mom."

She pulled him in tighter. "Me too, Noah. I love you more than you know."

He pulled back and smiled at her. "Now I have to go find a pink tie. I promised Billie." He stopped to think. "Do I even own a pink tie?" He scratched his head in thought. "I don't want to ruin Billie or Jesse' day or their pictures."

Olivia smiled at the care her boy showed for others and their feelings. "Come on. Dad has a brand new one Katie bought him for Easter."

"Won't Dad need that one?" Noah asked, eyebrows raised.

Liv shook her head laughing. "No, I'm pretty sure it's still in the package she delivered it in. Hot pink isn't really his color of choice."

They both laughed as they walked into the apartment and were quickly greeted by Bernie admonishing Eli for the wrinkles in his dress shirt.

"Noah," Bernie turned quickly to him, "go put your suit on and come out here for inspection. I refuse to let any grandsons of mine go out with such wrinkly clothes."

"Yes, Grandma." Noah turned to Olivia and whispered into her ear, "It's not just team you and me anymore, and that, that's really good. We're home."

~oOo~

"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what."