Kyo was preoccupied with his thoughts as he stepped into the entryway of Kazuma's house, but not so preoccupied he didn't notice and smile at the sight of the shoes neatly lined up against the step. Taking off his own and hanging up his coat, he called out "Hey," his smile widening at the return "hey!" and the sound of approaching footsteps.
"It's great to see you, Hajime," Kyo said, wrapping his oldest in hug as soon as he appeared. "You didn't have to come, but still...it's really great."
Hajime smiled as he held Kyo close. "Did Grandpa say that to you, too?"
"Yeah, but that's different. I had to come; if nothing else, I'm Dad's next of kin, so I'm the only one that can be there outside of visiting hours, and I was the only one they'd talk to before Dad woke up. You, on the other hand," Kyo said, letting go and smiling at his son, "really didn't."
"Maybe not, but I wanted to. And my being here saved you some work for later, Kunimitsu and I basically got all of Grandpa's stuff moved downstairs between last night and this morning."
"Hey, I'm not complaining! Not about the work, not about you being here...and I'm sure Kunimitsu appreciated having you here, to keep him company."
Hajime nodded as the two of them made their way back to the living room. "Yes, I think he did. He was a lot better after he got to talk to Grandpa last night, but...it was still hard for him," he said, his voice quiet.
Kyo glanced over at Hajime as the two of them made their way to the living room, taking note of his son's serious expression. Kyo wasn't the least bit surprised to see him looking at his ring; he could imagine that as a gay man himself, Hajime felt the unfairness of Kazuma and Kunimitsu's situation far more more keenly than Kyo.
But unlike Kazuma and Kunimitsu, Hajime and Mutsuki, at least, would be able to be with each other in the event one of them was hospitalized. Though gay marriage in Japan as a whole still felt a long way off, many prefectures or cities, including Chiba, where Hajime and Mutsuki lived, allowed same sex 'partnerships' to be registered, and those partnerships offered at least a few of the protections that people like Kyo had always taken for granted. For Hajime's sake, Kyo could be grateful.
Kyo put his arm around Hajime's shoulders and smiled at him. "Well, they both looked pretty happy when I left 'em, so hopefully Kunimitsu's in a better mood when you next see him. Are you gonna swing by and see Dad before you leave?"
Hajime nodded. "I thought I'd stop in right when the afternoon visiting hours open at three, then I'll go to the train straight from the hospital. I wish I could stay longer, but-"
"Hey, you've gotta work tomorrow. It's more than enough that you came up, especially for keeping Kunimitsu company. I can't even imagine what kinda state I'd be in, if your mom was in the hospital and I was kept out...again," he amended, remembering back to their teenage years when that precise scenario had actually played out.
Hajime nodded again as the two of them sat down at the living room table. "Kunimitsu said Grandpa is doing ok?" he asked, his voice a little cautious, and Kyo nodded yet again.
"Yeah, he is. Yesterday was...something else, and even when he first woke up after surgery, I was worried. But this morning, with all the anesthesia outta his system...he's a lot better. I mean, he looks god-awful," Kyo admitted, earning a little chuckle from Hajime. "Like a mukyu thrown into a fight against a three-hundred-pound hachidan. And even though they say he oughtta recover fully...it's gonna take some time."
Hajime was quiet, considering, then he looked at his father. "Do you know what that means, Dad? 'Recovering fully?'"
Kyo was silent in turn, looking at his hands as they sat clasped on the tabletop. "...No," he finally admitted, his voice quiet. "Hopefully at the very least, it means everything back to where it's supposed to be, healed and pain-free. But I dunno if it's gonna mean...the same range of motion, the same strength, or the same ability, as before. He was really lucky," he said, still staring at his hands. "The worst damage was all concentrated on his left side, and he's right-handed. But he broke his arm, his hand, his collarbone, dislocated his shoulder...that's a lotta damage, and...I just don't know."
He could sense Hajime's eyes on him, and feel the question he wasn't asking. The question, no doubt, that all of them were thinking.
"I don't know...if he's gonna be able to keep practicing. Not at the level he has been, anyway, and definitely not for a while. I'm gonna do my best to respect his independence and not treat him like a kid, but until the doctor signs off on him I'll goddamned swaddle him if I have to to keep him from overexerting himself," Kyo said, earning a laugh from Hajime before they both became serious. "But after that...I dunno what he'll be able to do. I dunno what he'll want to do," Kyo admitted. "I know Dad's always said he wants to keep at it as long as he was able, but..."
He trailed off, concentrating once more on his hands before finally looking over at Hajime and admitting quietly, "I dunno what I feel right now, Hajime, and to be honest that fucking terrifies me."
Hajime reached out and squeezed Kyo's shoulder. "How long are you staying for, Dad?"
Kyo cracked a small smile. "Twelve weeks." He saw Hajime's eyes widen in surprise, and he laughed. "Sensei asked about the dojo as soon as he heard the news, and when I said I didn't know what the plan was, he offered for me to take my training sabbatical now, here. So I am; I'll step in and pick up the slack for Dad, so he can focus on getting better and healing up and I...can start thinking about the future, I guess," he said.
The future. His future. The dojo's future. Everything he'd ever wanted, everything he'd been training for and building towards for his entire life.
In the years before he turned five, moments of true happiness had been fleeting, and rare. It was hard to be happy, when almost everyone around you despised you, feared you, or shunned you. When even your own father cursed you, when everyone said the world would be better...if you had never been born.
His mother's death had been the lowest point of all, the loss of the single pinprick of brightness in an otherwise black life. With her death, he was left with nothing, and he'd meant every word when he'd screamed out how much he wanted to kill Yuki, how much he wanted to kill the Rat, and then kill himself. To rid the world of two things it had never needed, and spare himself any more time spent in a life filled with hatred and pain. There had been nothing left with her gone...
And then Kazuma had come along.
The change had been so sudden, it was almost bewildering. To go from a house filled with so much anger, bitterness and hostility, to a house...a home...so filled with positivity and kindness had been almost too much. He'd been afraid to believe it at first; afraid to let his guard down, and realize too late that Kazuma was just like all the others.
But he wasn't. Kazuma never had been, and he never was, either. Everything Kyo had looked at Kazuma and seen, every look or word or gesture of kindness and caring had been sincere. Kazuma had taken him in because he wanted to spare Kyo that pain, to take him away from that darkness. To show him that there were people out there who could still be kind to him, even if he was the Cat.
Who could love him, even if he was the Cat.
Karate had been part of that, a natural progression. Kazuma was a karateka and dojo master; it was a given, that Kyo would start to learn. And perhaps it was a given, under the circumstances, that Kyo would want to excel. Kazuma had done so much for him, and there was virtually no way Kyo could ever repay him. But he could watch, and learn, and do his best; become a karateka like Kazuma, someone who would do Kazuma and all he skill and teachings proud. Someone who Kazuma could one day look at and say 'yes...I trained him. He learned everything from me.'
Long before Kyo had dared to dream of one day calling Kazuma his father, he had dreamed of making him proud in the dojo. When everything else in his life had felt dark and hopeless, karate had been there for him; karate, and Kazuma. He had never allowed himself to hope for much; never allowed himself to wish for much. He knew his destiny; he knew how inexorably life would lead him into that dark, lonely room.
He'd held himself apart from so much, growing up. He'd wanted to spare himself the pain; friends, and hobbies, and places he liked to go would all be torn from him, in the end. Allowing himself to become attached would only mean, inevitably, allowing himself to be hurt.
He had already been hurt enough as it was.
But karate had been the exception. There, he allowed his love to shine, and there, he found true joy amidst the pain. And sometimes, as he'd sat on the tatami out in one of the practice rooms, he'd look around and wistfully think about it all...one day...maybe being his.
The day the Curse broke was the most wonderful day of his life, because on that day, he and Tohru both acknowledged that they loved each other. But that day hadn't marked the 'beginning of the rest of Kyo's life;' that had been a few days prior, when Akito had shown up at the dojo and told first Kazuma and then Kyo that the old way was ending. Kyo was not going to be confined after graduation, and never would be; he was free, to go forth and live his life, in whatever way he wanted.
It had been overwhelming, oddly intimidating, and almost intoxicating. For his entire life, his path had led straight to the Cat's House, and ended right after high school. But suddenly, the entire world was open to him, and that world was awash in beautiful, brilliant possibility.
But even with a world full of possibilities at his feet, there had still only been two things he truly wanted.
'If I've got a life ahead of me, I wanna share it with you. I don't want anybody else, because I love you!'
One thing, higher than anything else. One person, for whom he would sacrifice all else. No matter what else the future brought, no matter what hardship or tragedy or challenge, he would face them all, cheerfully, if only Tohru was at his side.
And she...had wanted that too.
Nothing else seemed nearly as significant. Nothing else truly mattered. He loved her, she loved him, and they were going to be together, the way they had always been meant to. The Curse was broken; the Cat's House was being torn down. And Tohru Honda loved him, and wanted to stay with him, holding his hand, forever. It was more than enough. How could he ever even dream of anything more?
'Master...has an acquaintance...who has a dojo, far far away from here. I could work there, and learn, at the same time so then someday, when I inherit Master's dojo...'
Kyo had always felt selfish and entitled, for even considering it. Even after the night Tohru saw his True Form, when he and Kazuma had looked at each other and acknowledged each other as father and son, it had felt wrong. What right did he, the Cat, have to aspire so high? What made him think Kazuma would even want him to be his successor? Kyo was talented, yes, but he was still deeply flawed; his skills needed work, and he had a long way to go. It would have been easy, for Kazuma to simply say nothing. But he hadn't.
'One day, when I can no longer run this place...it will be yours. And I know that as sad as that day will be, it will also be filled with joy; the day I see my son take my place; his place, here in the dojo I love.'
His entire life had been steadily building to this point. His years in Hibe, training first under Sensei Kenichi, now under Sensei Haruto. His time spent on sabbaticals, training under other masters all across Japan. Tournaments. Training camps. All of it had been building to that day, someday, when Kazuma would step down, and Kyo himself would finally step up.
The thing he'd always wanted, more than anything in his life after Tohru: to be the Master at the Sohma Dojo, justifying Kazuma's faith in him and carrying on his legacy, the way he and Kazuma always dreamed he would.
Hajime had processed that quietly, then looked at him. "Is Mom going to be coming down at all, while you're here?"
Kyo shrugged. "We haven't really discussed the details yet; there wasn't time before I left yesterday, and today...well, there hasn't really been yet today, either. I'm not sure, though. Last time I was on sabbatical things were a little different; I'm not sure if it'll work this time around for her to come by herself, and Sachi's obviously got school. I'd imagine both of 'em'll probably come during term break in March, though."
When he said that, Kyo couldn't help but feel a pang; March felt so very far away just now, especially the end of term break.
They were all making sacrifices, for him to be here.
Hajime nodded sympathetically. Everyone who knew Tohru and Kyo knew how much it killed them to be apart, and Kyo was pretty sure his children were at the top of that list. He genuinely couldn't say who was likely to have a harder time with their current separation; Tohru, who got to enjoy the familiar surroundings of their home and the company of Sachi, or Kyo, who'd be busy and get to spend every day with Kazuma. Both had their pluses...as well as one very big minus.
"I'm sure we'll figure it out soon enough, but right now the priority's obvious Dad, and getting him home and comfortable. Once that's taken care of'll be soon enough for me and Tohru to talk about her visiting, though I can tell you right now that's not happening unless we can get someone to housesit for us, so," Kyo shrugged. "We'll just have to see." He exhaled, then smiled.
"But enough about that for now. How're you guys doing, Hajime? I know we just saw you at New Year's, but I didn't get much of a chance to talk to you, just the two of us."
"No," Hajime agreed, smiling back. "That's the problem with having such a big family, there's so many people to talk to and never actually enough time."
"Nope," Kyo agreed. "And no offense to Mutsuki, but his uncles really suck at monopolizing you two."
"They really do," Hajime said with a snort. "Why do you think you've been getting more time with just me, the last few times we've all been in Tokyo?" he said, cracking an little smile. "I've given up trying to fight them; there's no point, not when Mutsuki usually is happy to play along. But there's only so much I can deal with, with either of them," he continued, grimacing.
Kyo chuckled, then said, "I'm honestly kinda surprised Mutsuki's not here with you, at least in Tokyo if not here at the dojo."
"He wanted to come, and actually considered it. But I talked him out of it; he's got a big project he's working on, and some of his plants are at a crucial stage. I half suspect he slept in the greenhouse this weekend," Hajime said, and Kyo chuckled.
"Well, I hope everything works out for him. This for that year-end project of his?"
"That's right. He won't be able to start the actual installation until the beginning of March, but he's got to have all his plants thriving and ready by then." Mutsuki was in the first of two years for a graduate degree in landscape architecture; he'd completed his undergraduate degree the previous year, and after some discussion the two of them had decided he might as well add the Master's as well. Hajime was making good money at his job with the Chiba prefectural government and could more than support them, so since Mutsuki had the interest and the talent...why not?
"So's he's busy at the greenhouse right now, then; how about you? Things picking up at work, now that all the holidays are over?"
Kyo hadn't known whether to laugh or be insulted when Hajime had told them one of things that had helped him land his job at the Chiba prefectural Division of International Affairs. Yes, Hajime's grades and language skills were stellar; yes, he'd made some valuable connections in university. Even his name had proven an asset, as Chiba, neighboring Tokyo, was close enough that many people in power were at least tangentially aware of the Sohma family.
But no. It turned out that the thing that had most excited Hajime's potential employers had been his hair. Hajime hadn't known that at the time, but it came up in passing sometime after he was hired; apparently, the idea of having an outward facing employee with orange hair had tickled his prospective supervisor on the grounds it would reflect that the division itself was more diverse and 'international.' During his interview, Hajime had been told that professional dress was required and asked about his hair. After explaining and proving (via photographic evidence) that his hair color was natural, there'd been nothing else to say...and shortly thereafter, Hajime had a job, working as an intercultural liaison and occasional interpreter.
It wasn't quite was Hajime had originally planned for his life, or what Tohru and Kyo had expected him to do. But he liked it well enough, at least for now, and he was good at it; he had always been good with people, and the bluntness that could sometimes make him come off harsh to his Japanese fellows went down well with the Westerners he regularly interacted with. His memory for and attention to details served him well in remembering things about the people, countries, and companies he dealt with, and he was a natural at talking up the advantages of Japan in particular and Chiba in general. He wasn't the smoothest, but he'd never lost his earnestness, and a little sincerity could go a long way.
Kyo and Tohru were both immensely proud of him, though both of them sometimes found it hard to believe that they had produced a child who spoke English for a career.
Hajime smiled at the question. "Yes, things are getting busier again. December is usually a quiet month with a lot of our Western contacts, with Christmas being such a big holiday there's always a lot of people on vacation. But now that the new year is here, that means things are getting back to normal."
"You got anything interesting on your plate?"
"I've got a couple contacts from an American company who'll be in Japan starting next week, so I'll be..." Hajime hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to describe it, and Kyo's mouth twitched.
"Babysitting?"
"No, not babysitting, Dad...but I will be playing tour guide, I guess you could say," Hajime said, smiling wryly.
"Well, better you than me," Kyo said, shaking his head. "I don't know how you have the patience."
"You're the one who works with literal kids every day," Hajime pointed out, and Kyo shook his head again.
"That's different. I don't gotta speak English, for starters, and I don't gotta wear a suit, for another thing."
"True," Hajime said, "but I'd still say you've got a fair amount of patience, yourself."
"Yeah, well...I guess almost thirty years of teaching'll do that for a guy, even one as hot-headed as I used to be."
Hajime chuckled at that, tilting his head and studying his father. "It's still so weird to think about you having a temper. Not as weird as the idea of Grandpa having a temper-"
"-Yeah, that one still shocks me, whenever I think of it," Kyo agreed, chuckling as well.
"-But it's still pretty surreal. I know it's true; I've heard stories, after all," Hajime said, grinning, "but it still feels weird. I'm pretty sure I've only seen you lose it maybe five times in my entire life, if that."
"I mean, there's a reason for that. When I was younger, the temper kinda made sense, but once the Curse broke...I didn't need that anger, anymore, and I didn't wanna be that person anymore, either. It's not something I'm proud of, looking back and thinking of the way I used to be when I was a teenager."
"Well, you did a pretty good job moving past it, Dad, though honestly I think all of us end up pretty different from the people we were as teenagers. I've definitely changed," Hajime said, with all the worldliness of a twenty-something.
"You're not wrong, at that," Kyo said, looking at his son. There were traces of the Hajimes of all those years before; the Hajime of fourteen, who had sat Kyo and Tohru and down and resolutely explained to them why he wanted to move away and attend Kaibara High. The Hajime of nearly fifteen, who had sat beside him on the roof of Shigure's old house, looking at Kyo as the puzzle pieces all clicked together and asking Kyo if he had once been the Zodiac Cat. The Hajime of fifteen who had asked for Kyo for permission to wear his beads, the same beads his still wore today. The Hajime of eighteen who had stood at his high school graduation and calmly, confidently delivered the graduates' address. The Hajime of nineteen, who had grinned awkwardly as he told Tohru and Kyo that he was engaged...
All of those Hajimes were still there. The current Hajime had all of their knowledge and memories, had built on their experiences and expanded their confidence and bloomed into the person he was today. He didn't have to look back to his teenage selves with pity or regret; he could be proud of the man he'd become, even if that man was very different than the fourteen-year-old boy, or even the nineteen-year-old boy.
Kyo was certainly proud of the man Hajime had become, even if it wasn't the man he would have once expected.
Kyo leaned back on his arms, looking wistfully at the tall young man sitting beside him. Hajime would be twenty-four in barely a month; he still seemed so young sometimes, but when Kyo was his age, he and Tohru had been married four years and Hajime himself was nearly a year old. No matter how much Kyo might sometimes imagine otherwise, Hajime was a grown man; he topped Kyo himself by nearly two inches, was a university graduate, gainfully employed, and basically married. Sometimes, Kyo could almost convince himself he was still a young man himself...and then he looked at Hajime.
But if he could admit Hajime had changed, when Hajime had been a teen so very recently, then what did that say about Kyo himself? His own birthday had passed mere days ago; he was forty-seven now, creeping closer to fifty by the day.
How very much had changed, since Kyo was a teenager, and almost all for the better. He'd graduated, and moved. Gotten engaged, gotten married, had three kids, built a house. Gotten promoted all the way up to hachidan, eighth-degree black belt. And those were just the things he could easily quantify.
There had been many other things; so many, many things. He'd beaten Yuki in a fight. He'd flown on an airplane. He'd fought in more karate tournaments than he could count, winning more than one along the way. He'd been on tv. Grown out his hair. Made new friends, and said goodbye to old ones.
There had been so much change, the vast majority of it good. He'd gotten to do so many things, and have so many experiences, that his teenaged self could never have dreamed of. Friends, home, family, career...none of that would have been possible, once. Even his eighteen-year-old self, nervous and excited, stepping hand and hand with Tohru onto the train north to Hibe, couldn't have dreamed of just how lucky they'd be, or just how happy.
But he hoped that his eighteen-year-old self would be happy with the way things had turned out.
"You look pretty thoughtful, Dad; is everything ok?" Hajime asked, and Kyo nodded.
"Yeah, it's fine. I was just...thinking about what you just said. You're not wrong, Hajime; all of us have changed, since we were teenagers. Not in every way; not even in big ways, not exactly. But in some ways...yeah, we've definitely changed."
