CHAPTER 11: Showing

When we return to the villa, Drew looks even angrier than before. Specifically, when the villa's lights hit us, and Drew can now clearly see the cuts and bruises on my body. I turn to a nearby mirror and cringe. I do look bad. My jacket and dress cover most of me, but my nose is broken and bleeding, one of my eyes is swollen shut, and my legs are covered with dirt and dried blood. It doesn't help that as the adrenaline fades, I get sore and start to limp.

Drew is breathing so heavily in anger, I'm afraid he'll run to where Rosenfield has taken Bastien and kill him.

"Where's Bastien?" I ask after Drew orders a maid to get me synth.

"You look like hell, and you're worried about him?" Drew gestures to me to sit on the couch in the living room. He keeps a hand on my back to make sure I don't fall.

"You're not going to kill him, are you?"

This time, Drew is quiet.

"Drew."

"Why do you want to spare his life?" Drew tilts my head to examine the wounds. "He's vowed to kill you. He shouldn't live, especially after what he's done to you."

"He wants revenge because he blames me for his brother's death. And he's not wrong, he's…he's right."

Drew settles beside me on the couch as the maid places a bottle of synth and two wine glasses on the coffee table. He pours me a glass, but I take the whole bottle and drink from it.

"Sorry," I blush after I realize what I've done. "Do you have another bottle?"

"Don't worry, love. You can have all the synth you want. Tell me what happened."

"Where's Bastien?"

"He's somewhere he can't escape from until I decide what to do with him. Now, please, love, tell me what happened."

I take swigs from the bottle. This synth is tangy, reminding me of mangoes and oranges. Drew is calling me love again, and something crumbles inside me. There's less weight in my chest, and I breathe easier.

I tell him what Bastien has told me but not everything. Brendan died and died painfully because we were in a forbidden relationship. When Drew asks if there are clues as to who the murderers are, I tell him there aren't any. I don't want him to get involved with my uncle. He already thinks that humans are combative and destructive. If he finds out what my uncle may have done, he'll discriminate even more.

And besides, there's speculation that my uncle had been involved. It's not the truth. I need the truth and I'm not afraid to find it anymore. Like Bastien, I should use my pain to fuel me, not paralyze me. If Uncle Davian wasn't involved, then I don't want him to pay for the murderer's actions. But if he was involved…

I turn away from Drew to hide the answer that comes to my head. When I avert his study, I see that the cut on my left hand is fading. Not even a scar remains to indicate what had happened. The other injuries heal too. I'm not even sore anymore.

Being a vampire is something else.

"I'm sorry for what you went through, love. What had happened is terrible, but don't blame yourself," Drew rubs my back. "Even if you have some part in the tragedy, it can never be completely your fault. There are always other factors in play. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Don't take full responsibility, May. Okay?"

I nod but don't mean it. He doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't know like I do that I'm responsible for what happened to Brendan.

That I'm responsible for avenging him.

Drew captures my healed hand. "I never want you to go through this again."

"And how exactly will you prevent that, Drew?"

"By never letting you out of my sight. If we separate, I'll have one of the Vestige guarding you."

"The Vestige?"

"My highest-ranked guards."

The king's guards.

I take back my hand. "I don't consent to that, Drew. I agreed to come back to the villa with you so you can take care of me tonight, but tonight is all you're going to get." After a breath, I add, "We…we have to stop this—whatever this is happening between us. You can't get involved in my life, Drew. It won't work."

Drew's pupils narrow. His dragon is showing and it's angry. "If you won't let me care for you, then I'll punish you instead."

He stands and offers his hand. I place my hand in it, despite his words. He won't do anything I don't consent to. I don't consent to Drew's protection but I have asked him to hurt me.

Show what a monster can do with a willing lover.

Show that I can take him.

Drew yanks me off of the couch and into the bedroom. We stop at the foot of the bed, and his pupils get even sharper. "Do you know what a safeword is, love?"

Oh god. "Yes…"

"What's yours?"

"Chocolate."

"Good."

Drew rips off my jacket and shoves me to the mattress. The wind gets knocked out of me, and my boots and socks are torn off also by Drew as I catch my breath.

"Tell me when it gets too much," Drew unlatches his belt and wraps it around his fist. The thick leather strip hangs under his fingers. "Never let me push you past your limits."

My arms brace my panting body. "Bring it."

"On your hands and knees."

Shaking, I turn my back and obey. I try to steady myself. Then something bites the air and strikes me from behind. I muffle my scream with a pillow. The skin on my butt is throbbing, burning.

"Why am I hurting you, May?"

Whip!

"Why?"

The belt continues to come down as tears soak the pillowcase. Drew hits hard. Really hard. I can't help but sob as my skin is set on fire.

"Is this too much?" Drew catches his breath. "Say your safeword. Don't let me push you."

When he continues to wait, belt at hand, I lift my face and turn to him. My face is sure to be smudged with tears and hair, but I still send him my fiercest glare. "I told you to do your worst, so do it. I can take it."

The belt goes back down, whipping me to the pillow. My fingers grip the blanket, anticipating every descent. No matter how much it hurts, I never croak for him to stop. I don't want him to stop. All the stress, guilt, and fear in me fade with each lick of the belt. In their place, something else is building. Overflowing—dripping down my thighs.

"Answer my question, May," Drew grits. "Why am I hurting you?"

"I don't know," I whimper.

"I'm hurting you because you're hurting yourself. You should have had me answer your questions, not another vampire. If you had been with me, you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"It won't be your fault if I do," I tell him. "I'm not your responsibility."

"Like hell, you're not."

Drew continues to strike me until I jerk. When nothing else happens, I turn to him. "Why did you stop?"

Drew looks helpless then. Funny, because he's the one with the belt. "You want me to hurt you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"The same reason you want to hurt me. It's cathartic."

"You're not afraid of me?"

"Never."

Drew drops the belt on the bed. "Spread your legs."

I do as I'm told. A finger traces the edge of my skirt, lifting it.

"May I?" Drew requests.

I nod.

Drew's hand travels up my leg until it reaches my panties. He doesn't ask for permission this time, and I don't stop him.

"Ah! Drew...ahhh!"

Drew pushes his fingers in and out of me. "This is supposed to be a punishment. A punishment. But you like this. You're so wet."

I stifle my moan.

"Would you like me to spank you again? What was that? Speak louder."

"Yes," I quiver. "Please."

This time, Drew spanks my pussy with the palm of his hand. Again, and again as I writhe and wrinkle the sheets. Then, he puts his fingers back in and stretches me, and I explode.

"Drew!" I lay limp on the bed, dazed.

Drew licks his fingers clean, a smirk gracing his handsome features. His emerald eyes are back to human form. No longer angry but tender. I wonder how I look to him.

He unzips my dress and gathers my naked body into his arms. His heartbeat gets right at my ear. It produces a steady tempo, soothing me.

He brings us to the bathroom, where the jets are stirring bubbles in the hot tub. He dips me in before stripping out of his suit. As soon as he sits in the water, he tugs me until my back is against his chest. His arms go around me while his lips rest on my neck.

"I wasn't too hard on you, was I?" Drew sounds so worried, I crumble even more. I don't just feel lighter. I also feel vulnerable.

More than before. Whatever I'm feeling for him, it's getting worse.

"I'll tell you if it's too much," I assure, "but I'm not staying over."

Drew's hold tightens. "Why not?"

I don't know. I don't know what to tell him. Drew is being so kind and considerate. Even with his belt, he's making sure I'm not getting anything I don't like. It's a confusing set of traits when I remember how ruthless he can be with other people. Maybe it will be easier to reject him if he is just as ruthless with me, but he's not. He's different with me.

Rosenfield's words echo in my head. "You're special."

"I don't deserve this," the words come out before I can help them. "I don't deserve you."

"Why would you say that?"

"I just don't, Drew. Besides, I used to be human. Don't you want to be with someone less destructive?"

Drew curses and turns me around. My hands rest on his shoulders as I straddle his waist.

"I said I was sorry about that. I was wrong to discriminate against humans. Against anybody," Drew admits. "I want to make this world a safe place for everyone. I can't do that if even one species is treated without respect."

"I get why you hate them though. The humans. The planet would have died if most of them didn't."

"But some humans tried to save this planet. They're the reason you're here today. With me. So, they can't all be that bad. And don't you ever say you don't deserve me. You deserve everything. I want to give you the world."

My eyes water. "Why?"

"That's the question, isn't it? It's the question we've been asking ourselves from the beginning. I wanted the answers so badly, but now that you're here, I realize that the answers are too. I just want to be with you, May. That's all there is to it. When you're with me, it makes sense. Do you understand?"

"I do." I can't explain it—I never can—but I just know. It seems like Drew does too.

"I know you feel the same way about me. Otherwise, you would have demanded to go home, or demanded me to leave you. But you won't do that because you don't want to be away from me either. Being together makes sense for you as it does for me, doesn't it? Tell me, love. I need to hear it from you."

"Yes," I croak. "I do want to be with you."

"Then don't worry about anything, love," Drew thumbs a tear from my eye. I don't even realize I'm crying. "No matter what you do, no matter what you feel, I'll be here for you. So, let me take care of you. You'll quickly see that I'm quite good at it."

He watches me, and I realize that he's waiting for another answer. I give it to him through a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Thank you," Drew murmurs before turning me back around. He grabs the shampoo bottle and massages suds into my hair. I lean against him, relaxed, until I fall asleep.