Chapter Three

Six Years Ago…

It was Friday afternoon and ten year old Ruby was in tears, walking through the school gates towards her waiting parents. Charlie had managed to get off work early in order to go with Joey for the school pick up to take their daughter for dinner to mark the first day of the school holidays. Ruby had chosen her favourite pizza place in Yabbie Creek and had been looking forward to it for weeks. It had taken a lot of hard work for Charlie to finish on time. She had made it to Senior Sergeant recently and was all but running the station. It was a lot of pressure at times but she loved her job. However, she loved her partner and her daughter much more and she was determined never to let work overtake them.

"Baby, what's wrong?" she asked, crouching down and gathering her daughter into her arms.

Ruby held on tight. She couldn't speak. She wanted to get away from school.

"Darling?" Charlie said.

Ruby just sobbed.

"Maybe we should talk in the car?" Joey suggested.

Charlie nodded and stood up, guiding her distraught child the short distance to the car. Joey sat in the front and Charlie climbed into the back with Ruby, asking her again what was wrong.

"They said… they said you didn't… didn't… want… want… me," Ruby managed.

Charlie and Joey exchanged glances.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked carefully.

She had always worried that a conversation like this would come up. She had hoped it would be later than this. She had hoped she would have time to bring it up herself.

"They said you were… attacked," Ruby said. "Someone forced a baby in you. Me."

She burst into more tears. Charlie hugged her tightly, looking helplessly at Joey.

"You didn't want me," Ruby repeated. "A man forced you to have me."

Charlie took a breath.

"Okay, listen to me," she said. "You are my amazing, brave, beautiful, little girl and I love you with all my heart. And Mum-J feels exactly the same way."

"Of course I do," Joey put in. "You're our whole world and you always have been. You always will be."

"I don't know what was said to you today or who said it but you need to put it out of your head," Charlie said.

"Casey Braxton said it," Ruby informed her.

Charlie sighed. Darryl and Heath Braxton's little brother.

"Of course he did," Charlie said a little bitterly. "The truth is that something did happen to me."

She glanced at Joey who nodded.

"I did get attacked," Charlie continued.

Ruby's eyes welled with tears again. Charlie and Joey both squeezed her hands.

"And from that, I did get pregnant with you," Charlie said.

"You didn't want me," Ruby concluded.

"You weren't what I expected," Charlie corrected. "I was young. You know that. I was still at school. But I have loved you since I knew you existed, Ruby. I always wanted you. And Mum-J always wanted you too."

Joey nodded her confirmation.

"We have always been a family, the three of us," she said. "The five of us, actually. Me, you, Mum, your grandparents. Remember, we all lived together in Grandma and Granddad's house before we moved to our house?"

Ruby nodded.

"See?" Charlie said. "We've always been a family and we've always been happy."

"But I hurt you…" Ruby said sadly.

"No!" Charlie said, hugging her closer. "Ruby, you have never hurt me. Never."

"But when that man…"

"That man was a bad man but he was nothing to do with you," Charlie insisted. "Nothing. That night meant that I was blessed with you. But that's all you need to know about it."

"Is he my Dad?" Ruby asked.

"No," Charlie said quickly. "It takes more than that to be a Dad."

Ruby nodded thoughtfully. Joey squeezed Charlie's hand, knowing she was worried that Ruby would one day want to get to know him.

"What happened to him?"

"He went to prison," Charlie said.

"For what he did to you?"

"Yes."

Ruby sighed heavily. It was a lot to take in.

"But you don't blame me for what happened?"

"Never."

Ruby looked at Joey.

"Never," Joey promised. "We love you and we're so proud to be your parents, Ruby."


Present Day

Charlie was anxious as she waited for Joey to arrive. She had finally called her and asked her round to talk things through. Now she was dreading facing up to things. She checked her watch for the tenth time and put the coffee on to brew, setting two cups out on the table in the lounge. When the coffee was ready, she brought that out too. She had also gone out to buy a packet of chocolate biscuits, Joey's favourite, and set them out on a plate, arranging them nicely. She desperately hoped that by talking things through calmly, they might be able to work things out.

She jumped when there was a knock on the door and hurried to open up, her breath catching when she saw Joey standing there. She realised with regret that she had stopped noticing just how beautiful she was. She had always promised herself that that would never happen.

"You didn't have to knock," she said.

"Well, technically, I don't live here right now," Joey said stiffly.

"Your name's still on the mortgage," Charlie reminded her.

Joey shrugged, feeling awkward, as Charlie stepped aside and let her into the open lounge.

"I made coffee," Charlie said, gesturing to the large, comfortable couches. "And I bought biscuits."

She sounded hopeful, she knew. Desperate, even. She had been flitting between anger that Joey had abandoned her on her birthday, guilt that she had pushed her to it and grief that she had gone. It was difficult to know how this was going to turn out. She had not planned what she was going to say. She had tried to plan it but nothing had come.

"Thanks," Joey said.

Charlie was disappointed when she sat in the armchair, separate from her. She sat on the sofa anyway and poured two cups of coffee, handing one cup over to Joey, who thanked her.

"So…" she began awkwardly.

"So…" Joey replied, almost at the same time.

Neither of them completed their sentences.

"Look, I'm sorry, Jo," Charlie said sincerely. "I've behaved really badly. I've neglected you and Ruby and I haven't participated as a fully paid up member of this family. I'm so sorry for not turning up last night when you'd gone to so much effort for my birthday. I'm so sorry for not turning up to our relationship. Being busy at work is no excuse. You're busy too and you're always here, putting dinner on the table, being there for Ruby and I should be doing the same."

Joey chewed her lip thoughtfully. She sighed heavily and Charlie saw tears in the corner of her eyes.

"Joey?"

"Not once in that little speech did you say you wanted to do any of that," Joey said. "You said you were sorry you haven't and you said you should have but never once said you wanted to."

"What?" Charlie said, suddenly frustrated. "Come off it, Joey. Of course I want to! I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to!"

"But you didn't say it, Charlie."

"So, this is a language exercise now?"

"It's about intention," Joey said. "It's about whether you actually want to be with me. Because you also never said you loved me."

"Of course I love you!" Charlie snapped. "We've been together for nearly twenty years, Joey. Of course I love you!"

"Do you, though? Or have you just got used to me being around?" Joey challenged. "Am I just there? Reliable? Useful?"

Charlie shook her head.

"You're being ridiculous," she accused, tears stinging her eyes.

She didn't even bother to hide them. Perhaps is Joey saw them, she would see how much she loved her.

"Am I?" Joey asked.

"Of course!" Charlie said. "You're making this so much harder than it needs to be."

"I'm just trying not to brush this under the carpet, Charlie," Joey said.

Charlie was struck by her sincerity. She stopped herself from replying and sipping her coffee.

"This isn't just about last night," Joey said. "This is about more than a year of neglect. If you feel I abandoned you last night, I've felt abandoned by you for a long time, Charlie. If we're going to move forward, we need to work really hard to heal our relationship."

Charlie sighed heavily and buried her head in her hands.

"Do you have any idea the level of stress I'm under right now, Joey?" she said. "Do you think I can deal with your issues and need for attention on top of that?"

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Joey stood up quickly.

"Well, I guess that tells me everything I need to know," Joey replied. "I'll be in touch about Ruby. We'll need to make sure this affects her as little as possible."

She turned and headed for the door. Charlie sprang up and followed her, desperately begging her not to leave. Ignoring her, Joey pulled open the door. Charlie sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding on tight.

"Please, Joey, I'm sorry!" she said. "I don't know why I said that. Please forgive me. I take it back. Please, Joey? I'll take time off work. We can go to therapy. Please let me make things up to you. Please?"

"It's too late," Joey said, attempting to extract herself from Charlie's grasp.

Charlie clung on until Joey was also on the floor. Both of them were tearful. Charlie cupped Joey's face, begging her to stay and give her one more chance.

"I'm sorry," Joey said.

She meant it.

"I just can't keep doing this over and over again."

She kissed Charlie softly on the lips, resting their foreheads together for a moment before standing up and leaving the house. Charlie was still on the floor when Joey closed the door.


Next time… In present day, Joey moves into a new apartment as she and Charlie struggle to be apart while in the past, Ruby goes on her first date…