The guest house wasn't too bad for well... a guest house. I almost forgot we were in an apocalypse for a second, the place looked pretty comfortable. Part of me wanted to just wait the whole thing out here with Rick, but he has his family to look for and I have mine - if they're even still out there.

Anyways, back to the guest house. Tiny, but comfortable. It has a small bedroom with one bed (of course, how cliché), a bathroom and even a small kitchenette, guess that means that we won't have to go to the main house to cook or eat, what a relief. Don't want to go back there after what happened last time, I nearly shuddered at the thought.

The water was still running, not for long though, only long enough for both of us to take a shower. Not together, freak. I was happy to take a shower again on the same day, after a couple of hours being in the Georgia heat you start to feel disgusting and everything sticks to you. I know, I know, I should be used to this kind of heat since I grew up in the LA area…but here! It's humid and you sweat from everywhere.

I set my bag at the foot of the bed and then jumped on it to stretch my body out, god I really needed that. I lazily reached my arm into my bag to pull out my dog tags and sling them around my neck. I made sure to keep them off during the day in case a walker would get close and try to pull me into them. I would put them on at night though because it was like my safety blanket, it kept me close to my brother. But there was a part of me that wanted to just tuck them away, it's not like I even served. Just did training and then the world went to shit.

The small jingling caused Rick to turn his head and raise his eyebrow, "You're in the military?" He asked, and I remembered that I freaked out before instead of answering his question about my background, pretty professional, right?

"Yep. Well, I only made it through basic and then the shitpocalypse happened…" I mumbled and sat up to make eye contact with him, "Sorry for not bringing it up earlier, it's just I wouldn't consider myself a soldier or anything since I didn't get further than that." I continued to look at him and he looked lost for words and I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended, "You look surprised." I said while trying to hold back the smile creeping up on my face.

"You just…I didn't expect that."

I raised an eyebrow and sat up straighter, "Is that a bad thing?"

He shook his head, like he was worried he offended me, it was cute how someone like me could make him get so fidgety, "No, course not. What branch?"

"Army, duh," I rolled my eyes and scoffed playfully, "other branches can't handle me."

He chuckled to himself, "What were you gonna be?"

"Combat medic. But again it feels wrong to call me that since I never got to my advanced training or was ever deployed, just did the basics for 10 weeks." I paused briefly and continued, "I was in between training, hence being down in the area."

Rick sat on the chair in the corner of the room, clearly showing he was interested in hearing more about me, which excited me because usually people fall asleep by now. "What made you choose military?"

I propped myself on my elbow to become more comfortable and be able to face him while talking, "Went to school for art history," I let out a small laugh, "feels pretty useless now but hey, it's an education. Never got a job in that field so my brother talked about joining the military, since he did the same thing. I didn't love the idea, but it was a hell of a lot better than what I was doing at the time..." I trailed off to think about where this conversation would be heading soon, not that I minded talking to him, just I was hoping he wouldn't ask too much about my time in Georgia with Jane and everything. Not because I was still sensitive on the subject, it's because I still didn't remember some of it.

We spent about another hour or so in the room, just us sitting and talking about ourselves and our past. He shared some things about his family and growing up in Georgia, among some other memories, like becoming a sheriff's deputy. I told him how my dad was a police officer too, my mom's a doctor and how my brother is in the army like me, except he's special forces and that's the reason he thinks he's so much better than me. I tried not to delve too far into my past since I find myself to be pretty boring, but regardless, we went back and forth, sharing several laughs and taking advantage of the little moments of peace we'd have before having to set foot back into hell.

We got back to the topic of family and I couldn't help but ask about his wife, since up until this point, I'd only heard about his son, "So...your wife, Lori, right? What's she like?"

Rick cleared his throat and broke eye contact briefly, shit, did I push too far? "It's uh, complicated. She's actually not my wife anymore."

"Oh shit, Rick I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry-" Fuck, well this is awkward. I could instantly feel some tension in the room, I can't believe I had to ruin it like this. We were having such a great conversation before and I had to ask too much.

"Nah, it's fine. We got divorced just before all of this went down. I was kinda in the process of moving out, and well here I am." He started to rub the stubble on his beard, "We were just trying to make it easy for Carl." I nodded, remembering what he'd told me earlier about his son, "It was overdue actually, we...had a lot of problems, thinking we could stick it out for him." He sighed and continued, surprising me a little that he was giving away so much to essentially a stranger, "Then we realized that dragging it out would probably be worse in the long run."

"It was the same with my parents." I offered, hoping it would be taken the right way, "They were always fighting and me and my brother figured that was how relationships were like." I probably could have phrased that better but continued anyways, "But in the long run, my parents had a great co-parenting relationship since both were happy doing their own things. I'm sure you two did the right thing." I shrugged and added, "Shit happens."

Rick gave out a laugh and smiled, "Yeah, I can confirm that shit does indeed happen." Thank god I didn't completely fuck up the night, at least. It made sense why he referred to Lori as his wife when I first met him, seems like a lot to unload on someone you just met. I felt my stomach tighten as I realized how hypocritical I was to keep what happened just before meeting him to myself, when he just opened about something pretty personal.

We sat there in silence for what seemed like years before I could find the words. I started to break the silence, "My friend I was visiting...She was my best friend. We were out trying to get breakfast and the last thing I remember was this...deranged man attacking her before biting her in the shoulder." Saying it aloud made it sink in. The whole time I could have been in a personal nightmare, but no, this was reality. I bit my lip and kept my eyes off of Rick, not wanting to break down. "Her boyfriend put her in a room...and you know the rest."

"I'm sorry, I can't imagine." He replied softly, "Were they the ones you were looking for earlier?"

I wiped my eye with the back of my hand, hoping he couldn't see that I was starting to tear up. "Jane, I know she's dead. I was hoping I could, I don't know, put her out of whatever state she's in. Probably sounds stupid, I know."

"It's not, I'd probably want to do the same if it was someone I cared about." His lips pressed into a thin line, as if he were trying to decide if he should ask his next question, "What about her boyfriend? What happened to him?"

I could feel myself wanting to throw up again, but there wasn't anything that could come up. I felt myself start to panic and couldn't phrase it, "I don't know. When I left, a bunch of walkers broke in and he wasn't anywhere with me. I had to find a way out and I- I didn't see him." Oh great, now the tears were coming down. This whole time I felt like I did a good job of keeping it together, but when all of it was hitting at once? That was hard. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

Rick crossed the room to sit next to me, wrapping an arm around me "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have asked."

I shook my head in disagreement, if we were to stick together, we were going to have to build trust with each other. This was going to have to be a part of that, as much as I wanted to fight it. But a part of me felt...relieved? I was finally saying what happened out loud, well as much as I could remember. "I should have stayed and waited for him. But...I couldn't. We were running out of supplies, and I could hear...something being eaten, I think. It was so hard to make out cause I was trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get out of there. I should have fucking waited."

He pulled me closer, "I would have done the same, don't be so hard on yourself. I think anyone would."

I felt another small sob choke out, this was embarrassing. Really embarrassing. Probably thinks I'm a mess. "It's just so damn frustrating," I unintentionally raised my voice, "There's blanks in there that I just can't remember and I don't fucking know why. Some asshole knocked me out in a gas station to steal my shit, and I think that fucked up my head." I sighed and put my head in my hands, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I wanted to scream. I wanted to break things. I just wanted things to be normal.

Rick rubbed my back as I was venting, and as bad as it sounded, I could feel myself wanting to melt in his arms. I wanted him to hold me all night, but that wasn't going to happen, and I was just letting the fact that he's nice get the better of me. I sighed and kept talking, "I'm sorry, Rick. Seriously, that was a lot and I promise it's not going to distract me-"

He scoffed and I pulled back to look at him, hoping that my eyes weren't red anymore, "You think I care about that?" He pulled me in one more time and squeezed me closely, "Don't be sorry. You've been through a lot."

I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes with a small smile. There was a part of me that felt...

Safe.