Chapter Four
"So, this is it," Joey said, looking around the small apartment she had rented for the next six months.
Alex and Willow had helped her move her things out of the home she love and into this place while Charlie was at work and Ruby was at school. Nothing about any of it felt right at all. The couple had been together since they were kids. How could it just be over? How could they not be together? Alex and Willow just hoped that after a short time apart, they would be able to find their way back together again.
"Are you going to be okay, Joey?" Alex asked worriedly.
Joey faked an unconvincing smile.
"I guess we'll find out," she eventually said.
Willow put her arms around her.
"We're here," she said. "Whatever you need – we're here."
Joey hugged her and thanked her.
"It's not much, is it?" Joey said, glancing at the boxes, sofa and TV. "It's not exactly the sum of a life well lived."
"Well, hopefully it's not permanent," Willow said.
Joey sighed and sank onto the couch. Willow and Alex sat next to her.
"I have no idea what's going to happen," Joey admitted. "She said she wanted to work things out but I just don't know. I don't know if she can change. I don't know if we can fix what's broken between us. I don't know if we've ignore the problem for so long that now, it's too late."
She leant heavily on Alex and closed her eyes.
"I'm sure you can," the Doctor said. "If you want to. Do you want to?"
Joey didn't answer.
"So, Mum-J moved into her new place today," Ruby said.
She and Charlie were sat across from each other, picking at their dinner. Ruby studied her mother's reaction but she offered nothing but a shrug. She poked at her salmon. Joey usually did the cooking. Since she'd left, food had not exactly been up to scratch. She swigged her second beer of the night.
"I went to see her," Ruby persisted. "It's small but it's nice. She has a spare room. She wanted to make me feel welcome."
Charlie half smiled and half sneered.
"Lovely," she said sarcastically. "I hope she's blissfully happy there."
"I don't know why you're bitter," Ruby shot back. "She didn't want to leave."
"And yet she did!"
"You left first," Ruby snapped back.
"Look at you, Little Miss Relationship Guru," Charlie said.
"No, I've just had to live here for the past few years," Ruby said. "I've had to deal with your absence as much as Mum-J has."
"And what's that meant to mean?"
"It means I missed you at parents evening and at my activities and the dinner table, Mum," Ruby said. "I missed having your help with my homework and having you around to ask advice or even just to have a laugh with. I missed you being my Mum."
"Well, I'm really sorry I was out earning a living and keeping a roof over your head!"
"You would have got paid if you'd have come home on time," Ruby said. "And nobody asked you to go after promotion after promotion."
"Then I'm sorry if I wanted something that was for me for once in my life," Charlie said.
Ruby dropped her fork onto her plate.
"And I'm sorry Mum-J and I have never been enough for you," she said sadly.
She left the room, hurrying up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door. Charlie pushed her plate away and downed her drink. She sat alone at the table for a few moments before taking the plates into the kitchen, scraping the waste into the bin. Dumping the plates into the sink, she opened the fridge and grabbed another beer, ready for another night in front of the TV. What else was there to do?
Joey could hardly concentrate on the TV drama she usually watched avidly. She couldn't concentrate on much these days. Nothing felt right. She missed her home. She missed her daughter. And she missed Charlie. She picked her phone up every five minutes, hoping she might have missed a call or a text. She constantly double checked her phone wasn't on silent. And she wondered if she might have to ban herself from WhatsApp. Every time she saw that Charlie had been online, she wondered who she had been messaging and about what. And why hadn't she messaged her? Because you're broken up, she reminded herself.
She still wondered if she had let things go too far. The whole time she had been packing and finding this place, she had been hoping that Charlie would call a halt to things. And to be fair, she had begged her, that one time, to make things work. But Joey had known, deep down, that any change would be temporary, if it happened at all. She knew Charlie was just saying what Joey needed to hear to get her back through the door. Charlie loved her job and Joey understood that. It had just been a long time since Charlie had put her family first. And for Joey, it couldn't continue. It wasn't fair. However, with the pain she was in now, she wasn't sure what feeling was worse. She felt like she had thrown a grenade into her own life and blown it up. She had swapped one kind of pain for another. And now Ruby and Charlie were hurting too. Had she just made a massive mistake?
She jumped when her phone sprang to life. Her heart surged, desperately hoping it was Charlie. It was Ruby. She cursed herself for the disappointment she felt. It wasn't that she didn't want to hear from her daughter. She always wanted to hear from her daughter, especially now that they were living separately. She could hardly imagine a life when she would have to live apart from her child. She had never prepared for it, expecting that she, Charlie and Ruby would be a family forever. But she was desperate to speak to Charlie and attempt to sort things out. Or at least, she thought she did. She felt so confused over how she felt.
"Hi, darling," she greeted warmly, hoping there was no pain in her voice.
"Mum-J," Ruby said.
She sounded upset.
"Are you okay?" Joey asked worriedly.
She hated not being there. She hated not being around to look after her.
"Yeah," Ruby lied. "I just… it's rubbish being here with her and not you."
"I miss you too," Joey said honestly.
"Can I move in with you?" Ruby asked yet again.
"You really need to be with your Mum right now," Joey said, although she was desperate to agree.
She wanted to be with Ruby more than ever. She already felt lonely in this apartment. But she had already pulled the rug from under Charlie; she couldn't take Ruby from her as well. And besides, perhaps if Charlie had to care for Ruby alone, it might teach her to become more involved in her daughter's life, it might make her appreciate her family more. Then she might make some effort to reunite them all.
"But I don't want to be here with her," Ruby complained. "All she does is make crap food, drink beer and sulk."
"She's just sad, Rubes," Joey said kindly. "We're all sad. Please just be kind to her."
Ruby sighed loudly.
"Ruby…"
"I will be kind," her daughter said a little grumpily.
Downstairs, Charlie stared blankly at the TV. She checked her phone constantly, wondering if she should ban herself from WhatsApp. Every time she saw that Joey was online or had recently been online, she wondered who she was in contact with and why. She was desperate to call her or message her, to reach out and try to make things right. But she had failed miserably the other day and she didn't even understand why. How had her life fallen apart so drastically in just a few days? She felt like she was dying of heartbreak and loneliness. Somewhere, deep inside her, she knew there was a way to resolve things but it was like the answer was just out of her grasp.
Three Years Ago…
"I can't believe she's going on her first date!" Joey said, shaking her head.
"Don't!" Charlie said.
The pair of them had dropped Ruby off at Salt, where their thirteen year old daughter was going for dinner with Casey Braxton. He wasn't quite the suitor they would have picked for their child, not least because he was the youngest brother of Charlie's first boyfriend, Brax and belonged to a notorious crime family in the Bay. But the pair had actually been good friends for a number of years and for a Braxton, Casey was actually a very nice boy. Ruby had even forgiven him for, three years ago, so bluntly revealing the truth about how she had been conceived.
"Hey, do you think we should book ourselves a table and hide behind the menus?" Joey asked wickedly.
"That's not a bad idea, actually," Charlie said seriously.
"Charlie, I was joking!" Joey scolded. "And anyway, Mac will be there, keeping a close eye on her. You know she'll call if she's worried about anything. And as if Colby or Dean or someone won't be turning up there at some point. We've got eyes all over the place! We're more connected than the FBI!"
Charlie nodded and le out a breath, leaning back in the driver's seat of the car. Joey leant over and kissed her cheek.
"A couple of hours," she said. "A starter, a main, dessert and home to tell us all about it."
"But then there'll be a second date and a third and then they'll get older and then…"
"Woah!" Joey said, holding her hand up and chuckling. "You are racing way ahead! Let's just let them get over one date first, shall we?"
Charlie nodded. Joey turned her face towards her, leaning closer and kissing her.
"And maybe while she's on her date…?"
Charlie grinned.
"Well, now, that sounds like an offer I can't refuse…" she said, leaning in and kissing her.
"I mean, this is the dream, right?"
"Hey!" Charlie protested with a grin. "How do you know I have those dreams about you?"
Joey smirked at her.
"Well, I didn't but I do now…"
Charlie blushed and kissed her again.
"What I meant was, isn't it the dream for our kid to get a tiny bit more independence, therefore giving us a little more time alone together?" Joey said.
"You are so completely right," Charlie agreed.
She started the engine, deciding they shouldn't waste a second of their evening.
Next time… Charlie and Joey face an awkward encounter…
