I Do Not Own Batman or DC Comics
So this story was inspired by the numerous things Bruce has bone to make everyone discount the very possibility of him being Batman...as well as staying up late.
Since keeping track of who knows what is a pain, for this story, the Justice League has no idea Bruce is Batman, no one outside the Bat-family knows Selina Kyle is Catwoman, and no one in the Justice League has put 2 and 2 together in regards to Talia.
Why I'm using Talia and Selina...because I want to.
BATMAN AND HAWKGIRL CLAIM SUPERGIRL'S VIRGINITY!
By: Anonymous
It was revealed earlier today that a leaked celebrity sex tape appeared online, on several streaming platforms. The sex tape in question appears to be an amateur home video, taken from several camera's and angles. It shows billionaire and CEO of Wayne enterprises, Bruce Wayne, along with his wife Talia, along with their apparently shared mistress, Selina Kyle.
In the video, Bruce is dressed in a horribly fitting knitted Batman mask, with a black sheet tied around his neck like a cape. His wife Talia appears with a red sheet tied around her her neck, and a blonde wig. Finally, their mistress Miss Kyle appears in a red wig, with costume angel wings strapped to her back. Without going into too much detail due to the graphic contents of the video, while there is some good natured jokes and arguments in the video, the three lovers were apparently spicing up their sex life by role-playing.
The scenario involved "Supergirl" asking some romantic advice from "Hawkgirl," who then proceeds to demonstrate some..physical techniques, before "Batman" walks into the room. I am sure our discerning readers have no need for an explanation of what followed.
Bruce, who has normally appeared in public clean shaven, is shown to sport a short beard in the video. There is also some complaints from both Tali and Selina as to the so called "scratchiness" of the beard, and a demand Bruce shave it off if he ever want to "Go Down" on them again. Also of note is that the video reveals that fake hymens are apparently a thing, with Talia apparently wearing one, and explaining it to both her lovers in a rather humorous instance.
Mr. Wayne, Mrs. Wayne, and Miss Kyle have yet to comment. It is unknown at this point if they know of the video, or if they even perhaps leaked it themselves.
Two things are certain however. Bruce Wayne is a very lucky man to have women like Mrs. Wayne and Miss Kyle in his bed. And Talia Wayne and Selina Kyle are very lucky to have a man as apparently skilled as Mr. Wayne in their bed.
Clark Kent, known to most of the world as Superman, could only stare at the headline of the Gotham Gazette in sheer horror.
Due to being Superman, Clark didn't necessarily have the time to keep on the news all the time. Since his day job was as an investigative reporter, this occasionally caused problems. Luckily, his journalistic partner, and girlfriend, Lois Lane, tended to keep him up to date on things.
When he'd got back to their shared apartment in Metropolis after dealing with Lex Luthor's most recent scheme, Lois had simply smirked and, without saying a word, handed him the Gotham Gazette, Gotham City's leading newspaper.
He wasn't even reading the article, the headline just shut his brain down.
How could Batman and Shayera do this? To seduce his cousin, who was barely legal and had to be too young for either?
Sure, it seemed very out of character for Batman to seduce anyone, the man was so paranoid and secretive. And he thought Shayera and John were in a relationship?!
It took Lois laughing, she would later explain that the look on his face was simply priceless, to break him of his trance. He was turning to head right back out the window when Lois assured him Kara wasn't actually deflowered by Batman and Hawkgirl for him to read the article.
It also probably saved him from being glared at by Batman for a false accusation...
...That look was more frightening than kryptonite.
Shayera Hol, known as Hawkgirl to the general public, found the article amusing. The Justice League kept tabs on the news, both for PR purposes as well as to keep an eye out in trouble. The computer flagged any news mentioning any leaguers name.
It was actually somewhat flattering to think that she was hot enough to have other people pretend to be her to spice up their sex life. And the very idea that Batman would seduce anyone, let alone Superman's teenage cousin, was absolutely worth the laugh.
Kara Kent, sometimes known as Supergirl, felt both violated and flattered upon reading the online article after Lois had called to tell her about it.
Violated because...well, she couldn't exactly say why. Perhaps it was the very idea of her sleeping with Batman. Not that Batman wasn't sexy. The few times she'd actually met the man, she had to admit there was a mysterious mystique to the man, and his outfit was quite flattering.
Batman was scary as hell though.
Though she would definitely sleep with Shayera if given the opportunity. The redhead was smoking hot, and way out of Kara's league. Sadly, as far as she knew, the older woman was not only in a happy relationship with Green Lantern John Stewart, but very firmly straight.
On the other hand, the idea that she was a sex symbol, enough that others would dress up like her in bed, was quite flattering...especially since Kara wasn't quite as 'robust' as some of the other women of the league.
Setting the paper down on his desk, Bruce looked up at the two loves of his life. "I still can't figure out how the two of you convinced me this was a good idea?"
Talia simply smirked, as Selina answered, "It's because we're hot, you love us, and we promised to make it worth your while."
Bruce simply hummed.
"Don't deny you didn't have fun Beloved," Talia rebuked. "Besides, we could have done far worse."
"Oh?"
Selina grinned. "We discussed sexy Robin costumes, but we thought that might scar the children too much."
"I also purchased musical condoms...but the music was too annoying," Talia added. "Though the ovipositor toy did look interesting. I might purchase that for us to try at some point," she added, looking over at Selina.
"Noted," the other woman replied back with a smile, before turning to Bruce, "So what exactly is our press release going to say?"
"The usual," Bruce said after a moment, he'd have to use the batcomputer to look up exactly what an ovipositor was later. "We are appealed that our personal lives were invaded in such a way, demands the videos be taken down, and a plea that no one looks up the videos while they are still online. Of course the algorithm we wrote will ensure they keep popping up, and I'm sure the topic will come up during whatever interviews any of us do for the next few weeks. Of course 'TheButtsMatch' will use the video as more evidence of the conspiracy theory that Bruce Wayne is Batman as well"
"I still can't believe that's you," Selina said, narrowing her eyes. "You never did tell us how you came up with that brilliant, though ridiculous, idea?"
"I'll be honest, Dick's to blame," Bruce admitted. "When social media started out, I didn't think much of it until Dick showed me some of the conspiracy theories already on it. It snowballed from there."
"By the way, who'd you leak the story to?" Talia asked
"Lois owed us for..." Bruce was cut off as several screams echoed around the Manor
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
"MOTHERFUCKER!"
"IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD! IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD!"
The three adults winced.
"We forgot to tell the kids," Talia groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose.
"BRUCE THOMAS WAYNE!"
"And Alfred," Bruce said, grimacing.
This was not going to a fun conversation.
I purposely did not include the video itself, because I want your imaginations to make it from the little tidbits I've provided.
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