AN: And here is the first chapter.
Disclaimer: We do not own Helluva Boss.
Recently deceased Ryan Kenith wouldn't say he was a good person, but he wouldn't say he was a bad person either. If anything, his old gaming club buddies always described him as the perfect example of a "True Neutral Character." He believed in God, but never went to church. He dated many girls, but never married any of the women. He didn't smoke, but he was a heavy drinker. He had no real ambitions in his life, yet often dreamed about all the things he could one day do. Regardless of these lofty daydreams, all he wanted to do was kick back, relax, and let life pass by while doing his dumb postman job. It was really all about him, but he never made an effort to make people suffer. Maybe that was why he'd wound up in Purgatory after dying in that car accident; he'd never done anything with his life worth meaning.
And here I am stuck doing my old job, all while attending classes for redemption on weekends. It's like being back in Sunday School, Ryan thought as he walked off his post truck on the street of his latest stop before rubbing the sweat off his brow. At least the teacher was a hot-looking Angel.
He walked towards the large office building in front of him, where a human soul in a simple peach dress looked at him with a small smile. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I got a package for Mr. Blitzo on the fourteenth floor. Room 1400?" Ryan asked, showing said package in his hands.
"Take the elevator to your left," the secretary said with a smile. Just as Ryan was about to walk in, she added, "Also, a word of warning: the 'o' is silent. Remember it, or he'll go on about it for twenty minutes."
Ryan shrugged before pressing the up button. Like, I care what the guy thinks about his name. Who goes around with a name like Blitzo anyway? Sounds like some kind of clown name.
Arriving at the fourteenth floor in record time, Ryan walked over to the room labeled 1400 and was about to open it when half the doors suddenly exploded and sent the poor postman back on his butt. "Jesus Christ!"
A giant hole was right where his head would have been if he hadn't ducked in time. Poking out of the hole wasn't a human, but a sky blue-skinned Angel with big golden horns glowing the same heavenly color as his halo. Although he wasn't all blue-skinned; there seemed to be some kind of white makeup on his face that covered his right eyes, as well as a heart-shaped tattoo on his forehead.
The Angel gave a nervous grin. "Sorry about that! We got a cheap coffee machine designed by some imp in Hell. And before you ask, yes, I know, it's weird for an Angel to buy something demonic, but a bargain is a bargain! Even if sometimes what comes out is diarrhea and the occasional explosion from overheated coffee beans."
Looking down, the Angel noticed the package Ryan was holding earlier and looked at it gleefully. "Is that for me?!"
"Uh, maybe?" Ryan said as he got up and handed the package over. "Mr. Blitz?"
"Yup! That's me! CEO and founder of the Holy Ordained Problem Enders! Got unfinished business back on Earth you need closure to find salvation and peace of mind? We're the group to do it!" Blitz said with a grin as he took the package and unwrapped it with vigor. Inside was some kind of white plastic pony doll with a sparkling blue mane. "Eeek! My G3 Sparkle Edition Majesty! I've been waiting weeks for this! Here's a tip!"
The Angel handed a ten-dollar bill to the surprised postman, who was about to say he couldn't take it (company policy and all) when another explosion rocked not just the hallway, but the entire building. Turning around, Blitzo shouted, "Darn it, Moxxie! I said to use the Holy Water Grenades on the demonic coffee machine! Not the Holy Fire Grenades! Those aren't cheap to get before Orthodox Easter!"
"Blame Loona, Boss!" Moxxie shouted. "She gave them to me!"
"Hey, it's not my fault!" a young female's voice shouted before growling. "I keep everything organized! You always mess it up when you start cleaning the office!"
"That's because your version of organization is leaving everything on the floor! GAH!" Moxxie shouted, as hellish roaring and cries for help soon followed.
"Mox? Are you doing alright?" Blitzo asked.
"He can't answer, Uncle Blitz!" the female, presumably Loona, shouted as she made a cry of disgust. "The coffee machine started using those coffee liquids tentacles again. It's trying to drown him in Colombian roast."
"Well, at least it's not using Swedish roast. That stuff tastes like mud," Blitzo said before he saw the stunned Ryan and gave a nervous smile. "Uh, I should get back to work! Thanks again! Jesus loves you!"
The Angel rushed back into his office before Ryan just turned around and went back to the elevator. On second thought, working for the post office doesn't seem that bad now.
After taking care of the coffee machine (with a planned appointment for an exorcism), the employees of H.O.P.E. were gathered together in their meeting room by their boss for their weekly performance review. Blitzo, wiping his hands from the dried coffee stains, looked at the valued members of his little organization that he had come to know for the past three years that had become like family to him.
The first was the best employee (though he considered all of them good in their own ways), Moxxie. Originally part of Heaven's Choir, he'd left to try and do more good in the realms by getting more personally involved in their affairs. Like Blitzo, he had light blue skin, but had the lucky notion of having pure white snowy hair. Blitzo knew it was a sin to be envious, but he wished he hadn't gone bald so young in his life. Like most angels, Moxxie had chosen white as his outfit for work, which included a spiffy suit with a nice-looking golden bow tie that he thought was cool (though Blitzo always thought made him look like a dork). Of course, it pleased his wife, so Blitzo wasn't going to make fun of him too much. Said wife, Millie, was currently wiping the frowning imp's face with her handkerchief since it was still covered in coffee.
Speaking of Millie, Blitzo couldn't help but feel proud that he had gotten his first and second employees together. The moment Millie entered the group six months after they'd officially opened, he'd seen Moxxie's eyes go wide in shock, stars in them and all. Blitzo couldn't blame him. Millie was a gorgeous angel with blue skin and white hair like them, but with the added bonus of having golden tips at the edges of her long hair and a figure that could kill. Like the rest of them, she wore white clothing, a long sleeveless dress that covered most of her lower body and yet was teasing enough to leave her upper arms and sides open for view. Not enough to make her look slutty — Angels had standards, after all — but definitely sufficient to make heads turn. The two were practically destined for each other, and Blitzo had helped set everything up on their wedding day just a few months ago. The two were happy as could be, and had Blitzo be their best man, with his adopted niece as their flower girl.
His heart skipped a beat, and his smile increased a bit when he saw Loona staring at him with a big smile, looking ready to prove herself as always. While not his real niece, Blitzo practically had been involved in Loona's life ever since her cherub mother gave birth to her. Her father, an Archangel, had been one of Blitzo's best friends since the old days in his previous career. A pang in his heart nearly broke the smile he was giving upon thinking about him and… that day...
Images of hellfire, blood and laughing demonic voices nearly forced Blitzo to grasp his chair before turning away so the others couldn't see him. He took a few deep breaths before slowly rubbing his forehead. Even after nine years of trying to move on, that day still haunted him . It wasn't just the day he'd lost so many comrades, but the day Loona lost a father before her mother disappeared a year later. The moment he came back to Heaven, Blitzo did everything in his power to see that Loona was in his custody, and the two had always been family ever since. The little wolf angel just sat there, in her sweet blue and black dress, with her silver halo above her head, and, upon seeing her, Blitzo felt all his problems go away.
"Alright!" Blitzo said as he clapped his hand to get everyone's attention on him. "Now that we've all had our morning coffee — no offense, Mox — we can talk about what happened last week."
"We sent the apology flowers to the mother, right?" Moxxie asked nervously.
"Yes, Mox, I made sure," Blitzo said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not that forgetful about things."
"You were the one who forgot where the hospital was on that bus, Boss," Millie pointed out with a smirk.
"Hey, we still got the mother to the hospital on time before she bled out and the baby was born!" Blitzo said, hands in the air. "Sure, we might have broken a few traffic laws getting the mother to the hospital. The bus was totaled in the end. And we might have accidentally scared a few patients into having heart attacks when the brakes gave out, and we crashed into the door, but at least nobody died! That's what's important!"
"Save for the art of driving," Moxxie muttered under his breath while Loona snickered.
"Look, the point is this: we've managed to have a full one hundred percent success rate, and yet we barely made it in time. That's not something I want for this company," Blitzo said as he started to pace around. "I built this company as a means to help souls in Purgatory get closure for whatever business they left on Earth and move on to God's Kingdom faster. Failure is not an option. Not just because of the company's reputation, but because I want humans to head upstairs without any regrets."
"Don't you think you're overreacting a bit about this, Uncle Blitz?" Loona asked, tilting her head. "I mean, sure, that job was a close call, but that doesn't mean it'll happen again."
Blitzo sighed and shook his head. "Look, cutting it close is not something you want. Trust me. I've been in far too many situations in my life where I tried to cut it close, and disaster happened. We can't afford to be like that. Not just for ourselves, but for the people who depend on us to make their final wishes come true. Need I remind you that some departments in Heaven still don't like what we're doing, even with the approval from the higher-ups?"
The reminder got the others to wince, and Blitzo couldn't blame them. While he would always be loyal to Heaven and God, some Angels were just plain jerks. There was always one or more groups of angelic beings who were holier-than-thou to the point that even other Angels despised them. In the old days of Heaven, it was a lot harder to get into with stricter means of what to do. Nowadays, Heaven accepted non-Christians, gays, and many others who once would've been rejected entry. There were Angels against this, but whether they liked it or not, God did have the final say, and thus they had to comply. Still, that didn't mean that they didn't have any influence, and there was more than one group eager to see Blitzo's company fail for one reason or another.
"So, we need to make sure that what happened last time doesn't happen again. Which, for one, means I'll be getting driving lessons," Blitzo said with a nod before pointing to his wings. "Can't rely on these too much."
"Oh, can I learn to drive too?" Millie asked excitedly, waving her hand. "I've wanted to learn how to drive ever since we saw that NASCAR race!"
"Me too! I want to drive around in a dune buggy!" Loona cheered.
"You are way too young to be driving, young lady," Blitzo said, pointing to his growling niece.
"But I'm nineteen, Uncle Blitz! Most teens get their license when they turn sixteen at least!"
Before Blitzo could argue, a knock on the door stopped him, and he flew over before opening it to reveal a tall, dark-skinned male with buzz-cut hair and a confused expression as he looked around. "Um, sorry. Am I interrupting something? I'm here for a request."
Hearing this, Blitzo's face seemed to brighten up, and even his wings perked up excitedly. "A request? Oh no, you're not interrupting anything at all!"
"Unless you're busy, I can-"
"Oh, don't be so modest! Come in! You can borrow my seat." He pulled out a seat that rolled from the table. It was one of those high back leather chairs - dark leather to almost pitch black with a yellow eye blinking at the new client.
Stepping through the door, the man pointed at the chair. "Does that thing have an eye?"
"You like it?" Blitzo asked. "I got it on sale over at the demonic market. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe to sit in, and the eye won't do anything… just don't jiggle the handle under the seat."
"... Why not?"
"Let's just say that if you touch it, you'll spend the rest of the day trying not to get eaten by it," Moxxie informed him with dread in his tone that spoke of personal experience. "But as long as you don't touch it, you'll be fine."
"Uh-huh…" Cautiously, the man sat down in the chair while Blitzo turned it to face his employees. Now up close, they could see what kind of man he was: dark-skinned with a white shirt and dark blue unzipped hoodie with a simple, small gold cross on a chain around his neck. They noticed tattoos on his hands and the base of his neck that hinted of snakes and bones.
"So, I take it you're new to the afterlife?" Millie asked.
"Well, yeah. Just got here yesterday. Things have been so crazy and confusing lately, and there's still trouble back home that's still around even after I died," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, things aren't going well for me."
"Good thing you've come to us!" Blitzo said, taking a seat at an ordinary spare chair. "But before we do, let's tell each other who we are. I'm Blitz - the O is silent."
"... What?"
"Exactly! I'm the C.E.O. and founder of H.O.P.E.! Holy Ordained Problem Enders! And these are my employees. This is Moxxie, his wife Millie, and this heart-melting, cutest-cherub-in-the-whole-wide-universe is my niece, Loona. So, who are you, and how can we offer our services?"
"Well, my name's Daniel Crayton, and… honestly, I'm just shocked I'm not in Hell," he stated while letting out a stress-filled sigh.
"Can I get you something?" Loona asked, standing up in her seat. "Maybe like water? Soda? Or maybe a coff—" She noticed the other Angles around her were shaking their heads and gesturing not to get him that. "Uh… hot chocolate?"
"No, not now, just… Look, can ya guys help me or what? I mean, I get why you wouldn't if y'all said no."
"Why'd you think we would?" Moxxie asked.
"Well… because when I was alive, I used to run a gang. I was the boss of one where… man… we were monsters. As more than just mugging people, ya know? I even served some jail time because of what I did."
"Hon, you sound like you really regret it," Millie pointed out. "If you're here, then that means that you probably did something good. So you can't be all that bad!"
"I mean… to be fair, when I got out of jail, I had a change of heart. A real 'coming to Jesus' moment, ya know? I saw how much hurt I was causing - to my family and my neighborhood especially. And yet, I know why all of this came about. Because we live in such a poor part of the city, life just beats ya down to the point where ya feel like there's nowhere to turn but to crime. But when I got out, I wanted to do something about it. Maybe not big, but at least something. So out of nothing, I created a Youth Center where anyone like me could have another option. A better choice where folks could get relief and learn valuable skills for jobs and such when they get older. It might not have been much, I know, but it was something."
"Are you kidding?" Loona said with a big smile. "Going from criminal to social worker is incredible."
"Yeah, it was… until yesterday. With so many people coming in, they didn't turn to the gangs. My old one, especially. I guess things had gotten pretty bad for them, because on my way home from the center…they drove up and shot me. Right there on the street." Daniel put his elbows on the table and his face in his hands. "I was dead the moment I hit the ground."
"That is pretty heavy," Blitzo remarked with a sympathetic gaze. "So… are you worried that this center might close down since you've passed on?"
He shook his head. "I'm not worried about that. I've put the center in the hands of people I trust. I always knew there was a chance this could happen, and I made sure it would go on even without me. No, if anything, I'm more worried about my little bro, Zac." Pulling away from the table, he took a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. "He just turned fourteen a month ago - roughly the same age I started all the gangster stuff. He's doing better than I was - going to school, helping out at the center now and then - but I'm getting scared at the thought that, now that I'm gone… And being at that age, I'm worried that maybe he might listen too much to his grief to think straight. Don't get me wrong, he's a smart kid, but right now… I don't want him to fall into the same crowd that got me thrown into jail from the start. I mean… if I or someone could go down and just make sure he doesn't fall into that, maybe I wouldn't have to worry about it."
Sighing, he turned to the Angels and asked with a pleading tone, "Can you please make sure he's alright? Protect him and make sure he doesn't make the same mistake I did?"
The crew looked at each other one by one before smiling and nodding as Blitzo slammed his hand on the table. "Sir, your brother is in good hands! We'll make sure he stays as straight as an arrow! Rest assured, H.O.P.E. will be the hope he needs!"
"Great, but uh... I'm afraid I can't pay you yet. I just got here and haven't gotten my basic monthly income or a job or anything yet, so-"
"Don't worry about that," Blitzo said, holding his hand up. "We can set up a monthly payment plan after we successfully complete your wish. For now, we just need some information before we begin..."
With the company now in mission mode, everyone stood up straight in their chairs as Blitzo walked in front of a large monitor screen in the mission briefing room. The latest picture of Zac was on their large computer screen that the Angels managed to get from their connection to the Human Population Information Center in Heaven. In bullet points, some facts about Daniel from the H.P.I.C. had tiny bits of data about him, such as his likes, dislikes, and psychological details. One important note was that he took his brother's death hard and had frequent arguments with his parents.
Blitzo, now serious, pointed to their charge before clearing his throat. "Alright, gang. We have an important task on our hands. Our client has asked us to make sure that his little brother doesn't fall into the same gangster lifestyle he did before changing his ways. This is important as it's our job, as Angels, to make sure that God's children never follow a dark path that can turn them away from his light. We all know that children who get roped into gangster lifestyles tend to suffer or die at young ages. We can't have that happen to him."
Moxxie raised his hand. "So, what's the plan? My suggestion is to get him to talk and open him up first. I mean, the kid is grieving for his brother, and I'm sure he'll need to express it in some constructive way," Moxxie suggested as he looked at the photo with sympathy. "Having someone you care about to be taken from you by violence is hard enough. Especially if they were trying to stop said violence. It can cause you to feel depressed and hopeless."
"He might also feel afraid and intimidated to join the gang for his own safety - or the rest of his family if he feels they're threatened as well," Millie pointed out before pulling out a white knife and grinning. "I say we deal with the gang first and then help Zac. It would put the danger out of the equation for sure."
"Millie, you know we can't do that," Blitzo said firmly as he crossed his arms.
"Oh, come on, Blitz!" Millie pouted as her husband patted her on the back. "These guys killed a human being in cold-blooded murder. Not to mention what other crimes they might have committed. They don't seem to be the type that wants to repent or ask for forgiveness for their sins."
"You know we cannot kill humans unless it's in self-defense or in defense of innocent lives," Blitzo said with a heavy sigh. "That being said, I will not be taking chances with this one. We can go in armed with our usual combat gear in case things do get ugly, but until I give the authorization, we're going with non-lethal force only should we be confronted by these criminals as - and I can't stress this enough - only as a last resort."
"Fine," Millie said as she shrugged her shoulders, "but I'm telling ya. This is gonna get ugly."
"Anyway, I think Moxxie's right on the money with this one," Blitzo said as he tapped on the monitor screen, showing a satellite image of the house that Zac lived in. "Once we get to Los Angeles, and more importantly find Zac, we're going to portal our way into Zac's home - here - and talk to him. Chances are, he's not going to be willing to talk at first, so we'll have to follow him as well. Invisible to all beings but him, but be prepared to show yourselves just in case."
"Okay, let's go!" Loona said with her hand out in a fist in the air.
"Sorry, Loona, but you're not going," Blitzo said, much to his niece's disappointment. "You're going to be here to prepare the portal in case something goes wrong."
"As always," Loona grumbles while flapping her wings in a huff. "Why can't I ever come with you guys? I'm old enough, and you've trained me for this. I can totally be trusted to help you guys out more."
Moxxie couldn't help but snort. "Yeah, I think past experiences have proven that to be a bit false."
"Oh, really? Name some."
"Ugh! Stupid Gladiator! You're lucky I ran out of Super Shotgun ammo!" Loona shouted as she glared at the sight of her Doom Slayer character getting killed by the demon. Grumbling, she pressed continue and restarted from her last saved point when the phone rang. Picking it up with her tail, she put it to her ears while focusing on the TV. "H.O.P.E., what do you want?"
"Loona! It's Blitz! Quick, I need you to open the portal right now!" her adopted uncle shouted as the sounds of gunfire and unholy moaning could be heard on the other end. "We managed to stop the voodoo priest, but Moxxie was an idiot and destroyed the staff! Now the undead are acting like an uncontrollable-son of a bliss-horde!"
"You said to stop him by any means necessary, sir! Besides, we could have gotten here sooner if you hadn't stopped to admire the Mardi Gras Parade!" Moxxie shouted on the other end before screaming like a little girl.
"Not now, Mox! Loona, hurry and open it for Lord's sake!"
"Sure thing, Uncle Blitz," Loona said as she continued massing buttons against the boss in front of her. "Just give me fifteen to kill this demon boss, and I'll get right on it."
"Fifteen minutes?! Demon boss?! LOONA, ARE YOU PLAYING DOOM ON THE JOB AGAIN?! YOU ARE SO GRO-" Loona hung up the call before he could finish.
"Alright, let's see how you like missile barrages, you unholy freak!" Loona shouted with laughter.
Loona could hardly keep her excitement down when she learned she was going on a mission with her uncle and his best friends on Earth… only for that excitement to be quickly snuffed out when all the mission wound up involving was sitting around and watching people. Their client, a deceased cop, had requested that they get proof his so-called partner was a two-timing traitor that had him murdered because he found out he was dealing with the mafia. Loona had hoped it would lead to some excellent action-packed battle between them and the criminals like a movie, but instead, it was just about observation and info gathering. The four angels were hiding outside an abandoned warehouse as the dirty cop talked with a bunch of other dirty cops and their mafia connections. While the others were busy getting the scoop, Loona was just texting on her phone, hoping they could just go home soon.
"Man, this is too easy," Millie said, using a video camera to record the meeting. "Though kinda boring. Think we can take out a few of them in secret? Chances are they're going to Hell anyway."
"It's a lot of guys, Millie. And I'd rather avoid getting us into any trouble if possible. Besides, we're here to give resolution to our clients. Not revenge," Blitzo pointed out as he increased the volume on the sound recorder he was using. "Once we send this recording to the police - the non-corrupt ones, mind you - justice will come for every one of these criminals."
Loona sighed as she wondered what she could do to pass the time when she heard a sound that made her eyes, ears, and tail go up. She turned around and saw a black cat looking at her, passively sitting on some trash can, before meowing at her. Instincts soon took over, and Loona started barking and rushed at the feline, who screeched and ran away.
"Loona! Down girl! Heel!" Blitzo shouted, but his voice didn't reach Loona's ears.
The furry Angel continued to chase after her prey around garbage cans, through broken cardboard boxes, and even over a snoring homeless man. The cat then squeezed through a set of open wooden doors that Loona smashed through with her incredible strength… before pausing in place upon seeing two dozen shocked eyes looking at her. She looked in the window direction of the others watching and saw them facepalm.
Blushing, Loona rubbed the back of her neck and nervously chuckled. "Um... I'm here to tell you about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?"
While H.O.P.E. was in the market of helping humans, they weren't the only ones with such a business venture. Not that far away from their office was another company, consisting solely of cherubs, who had a similar gig: keeping people safe at the behest of their loved ones in Heaven.
"Thanks for assisting us with this, Cletus," Blitzo said to the tiny little human toddler-looking Angel floating alongside him. He wore a red set of overalls with a white t-shirt, and his eyes were big and bright like most other Cherubs while supporting a silver halo above his pink hair. "Usually, we'd handle this on our own, but seeing as some of the members of this little church are part of your protection program, I figured we'd be better off working together on this one."
"It's no problem of mine, Blitz," Cletus said as the two shook hands. "We're always happy to help out."
"Yet we never get overtime pay for it," another cherub joked as she entered the building looking for her. She was a yellow sheep with yellow fur and mane wearing a bright yellow sundress with red velvet lacing and bowtie around her chest. She also had yellow leggings with red heels. "Is Loona gonna be joining us this time?."
"I am, Keenie!" Loona said as she rushed into the room, Moxxie and Millie behind her. Stars were in the wolf's eyes as she looked around in excitement. "After hearing that you were all coming, I just practically begged Uncle Blitz to let me take part in this one! No way am I staying behind while my friends go on a mission without me!"
"You sure it's not just because of a certain sheep?" Keenie asked, with a knowing smile.
Loona blushed but didn't outright deny what Keenie was saying before asking, "So where is he?! He's here, right?!"
Keenie couldn't help but chuckle before turning her head to the wide-open door. "Collin! Come on! We're all waiting for you!"
"... Can't I just stay here and do paperwork?!" a voice from outside asked both in terror and playfulness. "You have enough people! I'll stay here and-"
Keenie rolled her eyes and went outside before dragging another sheep into the room. Despite his attempts to struggle out of her grip, he soon appeared before everyone. He was a sheep, like Keenie, but purple in appearance and color save for his woolly white hair. He also had a white long sleeve shirt with a white bow tie and four white circles on his chest.
Upon seeing Collin, Loona's eyes sparkled as she floated close to him, hugged him close, and looked into his eyes with a longing, sultry gaze. "Hiiiiii, Lamb Chop!"
"I'm not your boyfriend!" Collin shouted in fear as he struggled to push the love-stricken wolf away. "Seriously, Loona! How many times have I told you to leave me alone?! We're just friends!"
"You've told me six hundred thousand, nine hundred and forty-two times, but I know deep down you don't mean it, Collin," Loona said while nuzzling his neck, much to his despair. "After all, you are the only little lamb for my appetite."
" Okay! Going to stop here before Cletus hits us with a sexual harassment lawsuit," Blitzo said as he dragged Loona away by the ear, much to her annoyance. "Anyway, we all know the plan, right?"
"Yup!" Millie said as she pumped her fists. "We're going to set up defense points, keep the refugees safe, and make sure those warlord's soldiers are sent home crying with their bayonets up their asses!"
"Language, Millie," Moxxie chided, but he sighed. "But yeah, protect the church, heal the wounded, and capture the warlord so he can be charged by the earthly authorities for his crimes against humanity."
"Great. Loona? Prepare to portal us!" Blitz said as she saluted and started drawing the circle inscription on the wall nearby.
"You know, I still don't know how you got this means to the human world, Blitz," Cletus said, crossing his arms while staring at the H.O.P.E. boss with curiosity. "Was it something you got from your last job?"
"I just got it from a friend," Blitzo said in haste before Loona clapped her hands, touched the circle, and it opened up, revealing a blue portal. "Alright, everyone ready? Let's go!"
The two groups of angels flew forward and went into the portal, but nobody noticed when Loona grabbed Collin's hoof at the last second...
"Alright! We're here in South Sudan! Now let's… hey, wait a minute," Blitzo looked around and saw that two people were missing in their group. "Where are Loona and Collin?"
The others looked around and began to wonder the same thing.
"Uhhh, I don't think this is South Sudan," Collin said as he found himself in some kind of fancy restaurant, with Loona right across from him on a white-clothed table for two. There were lit candles, violin players, and a man holding a wine bottle ready to pour for the two. From out of the window, the sheep angel saw the Eiffel Tower not far from where they were.
"Oh, I figured Dad and the others could handle a few mercenaries hired by a crazed military warlord taking advantage of a civil war, and we could have fun here in Paris," Loona replied as she sighed deeply while looking into a blushing Collin's eyes. "So I had the portal teleport us here to enjoy a nice bit of fun and romance in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Tu ne trouves pas ça romantique, chérie?"
Collin's response was to fly out of the window as fast as possible. Loona watched as her crush flew away and sighed, "So much for always having Paris."
"Hey, at least you guys did the job fine without us!" Loona pointed out as the three continued to stare at her. Grumbling, she folded her arms and wings and pouted. "Fine, I get it. I'll sit this one out."
"Good," Blitzo said as he clapped his hands. "Now that that's out of the way, let's head on down to Earth, shall we?"
The three nodded as they went to prepare, but Moxxie couldn't help but ask, "You know, sir. I'm still curious about how you got the means to teleport like this to the mortal realm? You said you got this from a friend of yours?"
"Yeah, powerful guy. You wouldn't know him, not that important," Blitzo said in haste before ignoring Moxxie.
Moxxie opened his mouth to say something, but shrugged and continued to follow.
