This past week has been painfully awkward around Negan. He's been short with me, more than usual, since the massage incident. When he's around, most of the time, Negan would find any excuse to berate me.
"Are you fucking blind? You missed a spot on the floor!" That was when he found a spec of dirt on the freshly mopped floors. Let it be known that the dirt came from his own disgusting boots.
The berating comments kept coming and coming. Each one pushing me further towards the edge of my self-control. Boy, did he give me plenty of opportunities to practice my skill of thinking before acting.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
"You'll scrub a damn hole in that plate, if you keep scrubbing it like that."
"Huh?" My mind refocuses as I look over my shoulder towards Dwight.
"You've been scrubbing that same plate for a few minutes. I think it's fucking clean now."
I had zoned out yet again. This has become a routine occurrence whenever Negan was due to meet with my father, such as today's case. My subconscious can't help but to develop worse-case scenarios for my viewing pleasure. So instead of seeing the soapy dish in my hands, I see the mental image of Lucille laying waste to my father.
Dwight isn't blind to my distracted state. This isn't the first time that he has had to get me back on task during one of my pained escapes from reality. He would normally just call out to get my attention, sending a concerned look my way.
Apparently, he's grown tired of it, or I just caught him in a pissed-off mood. He briskly walks over to me and yanks the dish out of my hands, slamming it onto the counter, nearly breaking it in the process.
"You keep staying inside of your head like that and you'll drive yourself fucking crazy. Guess what? Crying and sulking ain't gonna change shit. What's meant to go down today between Negan and your fucking father will happen no matter what. Get yourself together and get over it! It's pathetic."
His words are like a slap to the face. The bastard has no idea what he's talking about.
"Fuck you! You don't know shit." I hiss and storm off towards Negan's room, hands still dripping wet. Punish me if he wants, but I had to get as far away from him before I really said something that I would regret.
"You keep thinking that, kid." Dwight chuckles as I'm walking away.
Slamming the bedroom door shut, I pace the room in pure frustration.
Get myself together? Pathetic? The son of a bitch couldn't ever fathom the hell that I'm going through right now. I'm being held against my will and forced to be someone's 'pet' while my father is tasked with selling off nearly all his possessions to pay off a deranged, power hungry prick. Let's not forget that there is always the looming threat of death above our heads… And I'm supposed to just 'get over it?'
Yeah, I'll get over the fact that Negan has expressed that part of him hopes that my father can't pay up so that he could have an excuse to use Lucille on him. I'll get over that I'm constantly walking on eggshells around him, not knowing if I'll receive a verbal thrashing for a meaningless infraction of any kind. Or, that maybe one day, I'll look at him the wrong way and he'll suddenly decide that it's time for another one of his 'lessons' in respect, or whatever he wants to call it.
I sink into one of the plush armchairs and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to calm my turbulent mood.
Dammit. So much for relying on my brain to make my decisions… Just when I thought that I was beginning to hone that skill.
"I really am trying, dad…," I whisper to myself. Knowing that he would be disappointed in my actions.
What can of worms did my ignorance open for myself with Dwight? He's certain to tell Negan, which means a heated lecture, along with some form of punishment that he has threatened me with, is in my near future. I have no idea what to expect with this being the first time that I've disrespected one of his men.
I need to do some damage control. Swallowing my pride and sucking up to Dwight is better than waiting to see what pain awaits upon Negan's return.
I reluctantly stand and sulk towards the bedroom door to go find Dwight.
My fingers are wrapped around the brass knob, ready to open it, when the door is suddenly forced open from the other side. It pushes me back and causes me to trip over my own feet in the process, landing hard onto the floor.
Dwight stands over me. His cold, emotionless stare bringing instant fear.
My heart immediately sinks upon seeing thin plastic restraints and a bandana gripped tightly in his hands.
Oh God… I've done it this time. A line had been crossed that has caused Dwight to mirror the look and actions of Negan.
"I'm sorry that I mouthed off to you! It was stupid. Please, Dwight, don't do this!" I frantically plead while trying to crawl away from him. Unsure of what he had planned for me.
"I'm only going to tell you this once – get up and put your arms behind your back. I don't have time for this shit."
"Dwight, please…."
Dwight doesn't utter a word as he shortens the distance between us in a couple strides and grabs my arm. The limb is roughly twisted, causing me to turn onto my stomach to relieve the pain.
I shriek when I feel his bony kneecap harshly press into my back to hold me in place. He has no problem securing my wrists and blindfold with me subdued beneath him.
Within a few minutes, he has my trembling, whimpering frame loaded into the passenger seat of his truck. Dwight checks my restraints one more time before putting the truck in drive and speeding away from the Sanctuary.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Deep breaths, Sam. Stay calm.
That's what I kept reminding myself to prevent a mental breakdown.
I have no idea where he is taking me. My only knowledge being that Dwight was noticeably irate and eager to get on the road.
We've been barreling down the road for quite some time now. The engine has remained fully revved since we pulled out of the Sanctuary. Wherever we're going, he's anxious to get us there.
"Where are you taking me?" The question barely rising above a whisper.
"Keep your mouth shut."
"Look, I'm sorry that I cursed at you! But this,' I shake my bound wrists, "is all because of that?"
That garners a laugh from the lieutenant.
"You honestly think that your little spat offended me so much, that I then do all of this? That's a good one… I'm just following orders."
"What do you mean?"
I hear Dwight curse under his breath after letting that slip out.
"Forget that I said anything." He attempts to end the conversation.
Then it dawns on me – he only follows orders from one person.
"What does Negan want me for? Are you taking me to him?"
No response from Dwight.
"So, you're just following his orders like you did during the ironing?"
Dwight releases a deep breath, a bit of forced annoyance creeps into his voice, "I told you to drop it."
"Why do you do what you do? Simon, I understand him. He's practically 'Negan Jr.' But you? You can get pissed at me for saying this, I have nothing to lose at this point, but you're not like them. You can deny it all you want, but I remember what you whispered to me the night of the ironing. I see the way that you look at me in pity and sympathy, and then try to hide it. How you act one way when it's just you and I, and then the complete opposite when Negan is present. Why?"
Silence.
Complete silence.
For a moment, I question whether Dwight even heard me.
Forget it… there was no point in even trying. I don't even bother saying anything else to him. What's the point?
My attention is redirected to the fact that Dwight is, in fact, taking me to Negan. The urgency of how fast the vehicle was going and level of restraints used don't help in my attempts to stay optimistic. Zip-ties haven't been used on me since the ironing. The fact that Dwight has resorted to using them only reiterates that something is about to go down… or something has already gone down…
As much as I want to cry right now, I just can't will the tears to fall. I guess that Dwight's comments from earlier had an affect. Crying and sulking won't change what has happened, or what may happen. What's done is done… At this point, I'm at the mercy of Negan.
Even while blindfolded, I know that we must be on the way to the factory. Every curve, bump, and stop is familiar. My hunch is confirmed when my body shifts in the seat as the truck leaves the highway and turns onto a gravel road, the crunch of the rocks underneath the tread giving it away. That should mean that we are about half an hour or so away from our destination.
I'm startled when Dwight gently clears his throat, breaking the silence that has lingered for nearly an hour.
"This isn't who I am. It's who I have to be to survive."
His tone was low as he revealed the shameful truth. So low, that I would've never heard him speak if he hadn't first cleared his throat and gotten my attention.
"Why?"
I don't receive an answer. Instead, the truck slows to a stop. The engine idles for a few seconds before the flip of the ignition ceases the mechanics.
I listen intently as Dwight exits the cab and slowly makes his way around to the passenger side to retrieve me.
It's only when I'm out of the truck that Dwight removes my blindfold.
I'm greeted by the sight of the thick brush that encircles the factory. The mammoth towers of the rusted building appear orange in color from reflecting the setting sun.
Over to our left is my father's empty truck. Negan's vehicle is there as well.
I can faintly hear voices in the distance, though I have yet seen anyone.
Dwight pushes me in the direction of the voices. "Move it."
We trudge the length of the abandoned parking lot towards the side of the factory.
I nearly broke free of Dwight's hold after what I saw when we rounded the corner of the factory.
There, in the middle of the small clearing beside the factory, was my father. He was knelt before Negan. Blood flowed from his nose that now curved at a jagged angle, obviously broken. His left eye was nearly twice its original size, painted a dark purplish, blue. There was severe swelling and bruising along his jaw from repeated blows to the face. He was barely recognizable.
Simon stands guard behind my father while Negan is situated in front.
I'm pulling and fighting against Dwight to such an extent to get to my father that he is forced to yank on my collar to regain control of me. He leads me the rest of the way to Negan like that, one had on my bound wrists with the other gripped tightly on the collar.
"There's the guest of honor!" Negan beams at me once we're only a few yards away. "I thought that we were going to have to start without ya. Get her on her knees next to daddy."
Dwight hauls me to the spot that Negan indicated and forces me to the ground. He remains behind me, ready to intervene if I try anything at all.
My father raises his head to look at me. He appears dazed from the beating, his one good eye glazed over and struggling to stay open.
"Dad? What happened?" It takes all that I have not to break down right then and there.
My dad tries to speak but he is incoherent due to the swelling in his jaw. He becomes increasingly undone as he repeats a mangled phrase.
A pained cough emits from my father's chest, spraying drops of blood onto the ground. Mouth now clear of blood, he is able to muster out the phrase of 'I'm sorry.'
Negan crouches in front of my father and I. "Aw, shucks! You hear that, darlin'? Papa is sorry." He pauses and places a hand over his mouth as if he just spoiled a secret. "Oh, my bad! You still have no fucking clue of what he's so sorry about. Well, it's about time that I filled you in on what you missed!' Negan stands to his feet and commences to pacing the ground before us. All the while, swinging Lucille from one hand to another.
'You see pup, usually these pays go down smoothly. I show up, bust papa's balls a bit, he gives the envelope of cash to Simon or Dwight to be counted, and then we all go on our merry-fucking-way. But today, something just didn't feel right when the little fucker arrived…. I had barely gotten out a god damn 'hello' before someone started rambling about how 'I really did all that I could this week, blah, blah, blah.' Or better yet, he hit me with 'it was a slow week at work, blah, blah.' It sounded to me that I wasn't going to find all of my fucking money in that envelope…' Negan halts in front of my father. His tone losing its playful edge, now resembling a menacing snarl.
'You wanna tell her what I found in the envelope Pete? No? Oh, my fucking bad – your mouth is still swollen like a baboon's ass. What he is unable to say right now is that he failed to meet the minimum this week, and it wasn't by only a few fucking bucks. Over half of my money was missing! Half!' Negan jabs Lucille in my father's direction with every rage-filled roar.
'From day fucking one, I thought that I made it clear of what I expected from you, Pete. It was pretty simple – you give me my shit and I keep your precious angel safe. I kept my end of the fucking deal! What about you, huh? I'd say that is a breach of contract if any! Now, I don't know what kind of people you dealt with in the past, but I need you to know me. You failed to follow through on your end of the fucking deal. So now, I'm gonna beat the holy-hell out of you in front of your baby girl. She needs to see this so that she knows that I am a man of my fucking word!"
On cue, Simon grabs my father by the collar and drags the beaten man from my side. I try and stop Simon but Dwight yanks hard on the collar, pulling me back in place. Helpless I watch my father as he tries to kick and claw at the ground to stand and get any sort of upper hand against Simon. At the first sign of resistance from my father, Negan raises Lucille and points the barbed weapon in my direction.
"Take your punishment like a fucking man, Pete, or she will take it for you. Don't test me!"
The threat on my life is enough for my father to cease his resistance against Simon. He allows Simon to roughly drag him the remaining few feet to Negan without issue.
Realizing that there is no getting out of this, my father turns to me and gives me a final reassuring nod before using his last ounce of strength to raise his weary head, look Negan dead in the eyes, and face what's to come head-on.
"Good choice, Pete! I'd like to say that I'm going to make this quick, but Lucille likes to take her sweet time. Don't worry, I'll make sure she steers clear of your skull… for now."
As if in slow motion, Negan grips Lucille and turns his body into a batting position. The bat perched on his shoulder, ready to take aim and swing at my father. My father squeezes his eyes shut as Negan begins his swing, using all his strength to propel Lucille forward.
"No!" I bolt from my knelt position before Dwight could get a hold of me and rush towards my father, putting myself in the line of fire as a way of protecting him. Negan stops just before striking my back and arm and is clearly taken aback by my actions.
"Get her fucking ass back in line!" Negan signals the lieutenants.
Dwight manhandles me back to my original position and he is careful to keep a tight grip on me to prevent another fiasco.
"Now that," Negan says, stepping towards me," was a no-no! Have you lost your motherfucking mind?"
"Please, don't hurt him!" I beg, my voice slightly pitches. "There has to be another way!"
"I'm sorry, darlin', but there is no other way. This is the only way that our little disagreement will get resolved. I warned you both about what would happen."
"I'll do whatever you want! Please, Negan, punish me instead, not him! He's been through enough already, look at him... Please –" My tears and wavering voice cause my pleas to come out jumbled and somewhat inaudible.
I've stripped myself of all pride at this point. Begging and pleading for clemency for my father. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, Negan would go easy on me.
Negan doesn't say a word as he stands equal distance between my father and I, debating on which individual would feel Lucille's wrath. He would pace a few steps towards me and then pace the same amount of steps towards my father, all the while in deep thought.
The wait is agonizing because all I can do is sit here and pray that Negan allows me to take my father's place. I know exactly what I'm asking for, but that's okay, because I know that my father can only take so much more punishment from Negan. He's taken countless bullets for me. It's my turn to step up.
"Alright, you sorry shits! I've made my decision.' He turns and stalks towards me. Lucille is thrusted inches from my face as Negan crouches in front of me.
'Lucille and I talked it out and have reached an understanding. I will forgive your father's short comings for today, no beatings, and I'll revoke the minimum payment for each week." Negan proudly announces.
My eyes widen in amazement. "What…?"
"Jesus Christ, pup! Do I need to spell it out for you? No more minimums. As long as I receive some sort of payment each week, I'm satisfied. Hell, daddy could pay me fifty cents a week for all I care. However, the same terms still apply that he must pay off half his debt before your ass is allowed to go home. All of that could be yours if you agree to one little condition."
Of course, Negan has to get something out of this as well.
"What is the condition?" I hesitantly ask.
The sides of Negan's mouth rise into a devilish grin.
"You agree to become my wife."
Wife?
Negan's wife?
Did I hear him right?
"You want…. What…?" I stutter in disbelief.
"You heard me, darlin'. It's a win-win for everyone! Your papa gets some leniency, you don't have to worry about him possibly dying someday at my hands, and I get you!"
"I-I can't –."
"You can and you fucking will!" Negan sternly interjects. "Or your daddy gets a one-on-one date with Lucille and he'll still be in the hole next week. Then, we will have to start this whole shit-show over again. Those are my terms; take it or leave it!"
My father frantically shakes his head 'no', and tries to speak up.
"Pipe the fuck down, Pete! Someone has an important decision to make and she doesn't need you distracting her." My father immediately settles down, not wanting to anger Negan any further.
As revolting as the notion of being his wife seems, I can't bring it upon myself to throw my father to the wolves to save my own ass. Choosing to allow my father to take the beating would be throwing us both to the wolves. Like Negan said, dad is not going to get out of the hole anytime soon. We will be right back in this situation again next week.
"What's your answer, sweetheart?" Negan leans in and whispers.
It's time for me to step up and take the bullet.
"I-I'll do i-it"
Negan bounces to his feet and joyfully swings Lucille through the air.
"Hot-diggity-dog! Today just gets better and better!"
Although I know that I've made the right decision, I'm too ashamed to look my father in the eye, knowing that his defeated and disapproved glare would be staring back at me.
"Today is your lucky fucking day, Pete! Your life is going to be a lot less stressful now that your little angel has agreed to take my hand in marriage. All you have to worry about now is remembering to show your ugly ass face once a week with a couple cents in your pocket to keep up the new terms. Like I said, win-win for everyone!"
My father doesn't even acknowledge Negan. His head remains bowed, shoulders slumped forward in pure loss. Knowing that no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't able to protect his little girl from a sadistic monster.
Disgruntled that he failed to get any sort of reaction from my father, Negan returns to pestering me.
"Aw, baby. Dry those tears," He gently coos as he wipes the side of my cheek. "It won't be as bad as you think. I'll take good care of you." Negan peeks toward my father to ensure that he was looking before planting a light kiss on my lips. Keeping his eyes locked on the man the entire time, further throwing salt into his wounded heart and ego.
Satisfied by the result, Negan hoists me to my feet and allows me to go say my goodbyes to my father.
It takes my father a moment to lift his broken body from the ground. Once he does, he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me. My restraints prevent me from reciprocating the action.
"This is how we survive, dad," I tearfully admit, knowing that this was the only option.
He only squeezes me tighter. Refusing to let me go until Negan practically rips me away.
"Well, we better hit the road! It's already fucking dark and I just can't fucking wait to start living the married life with this young pup right here. Ta-ta, Pete!" Negan shouts over his shoulder as he leads me and his lieutenants towards the parking lot. Leaving my father to process what had just happened.
Back at the vehicles, I go to wait next to Dwight's truck. I'm more than ready to get away from Negan.
"Not so fast, sweetheart. You're riding with me." Negan has the biggest grin as he hooks an arm around my shoulders and guides me towards his vehicle.
XXXXXXXXXXX
This has been the most torturous ride with Negan yet.
He has been whistling 'Here Comes the Bride' since the moment that we began our journey back to the Sanctuary.
"Don't be such a sourpuss! You can sing along too. I mean, it is about you."
The man was genuinely enjoying this.
For a while, he tried to coax me from my curled-up form against the passenger door. Though the blindfold is on, I could imagine his signature grin on his face whenever he speaks. I wasn't having any of it. It's as if he expected me to be just as, if not more, ecstatic about the new terms as he was. My refusal to entertain his charm only frustrated him.
"I just gave your father a way out, showed him mercy, and you have the fucking audacity to give me the cold shoulder?" He huffs.
Silence.
The brakes release a high-pitched screech as the truck skids to a stop on the secluded road. My seat belt digs painfully into my chest from the forward momentum of the sudden stop.
The blindfold is ripped from my eyes. Staring back at me in the dashboard lit cab is a cross Negan.
"Enough bullshit! It's fucking clear as day that you're pissed off. We will sit here all damn night until you put on your big girl panties and tell me what's got you all bent out of shape."
I'm dumfounded. "Wow…. Did you not see what just happened back there?"
"By that, do you mean me saving your dipshit father's ass?"
"Saving his ass? You beat his ass!"
"Yeah, and I would've fucked him up some more!" Negan laughs and slouches against the driver's door, hand resting on the steering wheel. "But I didn't. You wanna know why? I'm a reasonable man."
"Yeah, that is exactly what a reasonable man does…."
Negan releases a whistle. "Oh, shit! So much sass in one little body! Mmmhmm, I know how to pick 'em!"
It's not until I feel drops of blood descending my wrist that I realize that I had been pulling against the restraints, my pure rage masking the pain.
"Fuck you." I return to my original, curled-up position away from Negan.
"Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time for that, wife."
There it is. The true motive behind his decision of making me his wife.
"If all you wanted was sex, you could've saved your time if you had just raped me the other night like you wanted…" I murmur into the darkness.
Negan's grip tightens onto the steering wheel, causing the material to squeak. In my peripheral, I see his body tense at my words. Finally, he sighs deeply.
"What kind of monster do you take me as?" He growls through clenched teeth. "I would never, and I mean NEVER, force myself on a woman. That… now that, is an unforgivable sin."
"But the other night – "
"You said 'no', so I fucking stopped."
So, that's why Negan didn't go through with it. He wanted sex, that's for sure, but he wasn't about to take it by force.
A light touch is felt on my arm. Negan has moved from his spot on the opposite end of the cab and is now by my side. He gently eases my chin up to look at him.
"I would never force you to do anything like that against your will. Rape is not condoned from me or my men. You never have to fear that when you're with me. You understand?" His tender eyes hold my gaze, awaiting a response.
"I believe you."
A soft smile appears on his face. Negan leans down and presses a delicate kiss to my temple before returning to his seat.
His words seemed sincere and true, but things are not adding up…
"What is it now, pup?" Negan asked, noticing my inner dilemma.
"You don't condone rape, but still expect me to have sex with you?"
"You are my wife now, aren't ya?" He happily retorts. "I believe that it's one of your duties now."
"But you just said that I didn't have to!"
"Hold up! I said that I wouldn't force you to have sex with me. That won't be necessary because you're going to warm up to me sooner or later. I mean, you were fucking coming undone the other night just from a little massage! I'm willing to wait." He winks.
Note to self – always read the fine print when it comes to Negan. Things aren't always so cut and dry.
He's lost his damn mind if he thinks I'm going to willingly sleep with him!
Negan turns the key, roaring the truck back to life. "Deny it all ya want, darlin', but I'm going to have you begging for this dick soon enough." His comment only earns a 'huff' from me.
With that, Negan puts the truck in drive and resumes our journey back to the Sanctuary.
Let my new life begin….
Edited by Spitfire47.
Things just got interesting! Any thoughts? Thank you to all who comment and post reviews!
