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The J.A.M. a.k.a. Numbuh I: Well he did, just not a physical one.
Braygirl: Thank you! If you like this story, wait until the second part comes out;)
As the sun rose, its rays brightened his room, even flashing it right onto his face, prompting him to open his eyes, yawn and let out a big stretch. Arnold woke up that morning feeling slightly better than the previous day. He got out from his bed and proceeded to get dressed, albeit somewhat slowly. He was still rather sleepy, but being it a school day, he had no choice but to get up. Plus, he was hoping he would be the first one to make it to the bathroom. As much as he cared for everyone in the boarding house, he hated having to wait and be the last one in line, especially if he really had to go. Once he got dressed, he quickly proceeded to go down to the second floor. To his surprise and delight, there was no line. The whole hallway was still quiet and empty.
Arnold quickly made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself and freshen up. Yet as he did so, he frowned a bit as he was still bothered by what his grandfather said to him yesterday. He couldn't understand how he would actually agree with what Rodrigo said to him. No worse, he felt almost insulted.
I just don't get it. Arnold thought to himself. What did grandpa mean when he said 'that you can't do something unless you enjoy it'? That can't be right.
Arnold had thought about this all day since he got home, all the way until he fell to sleep. As soon as he woke up, not by choice, his mind quickly got back to yesterday's event. Yet as much as he tried, not only was he not able to counter his grandfather's argument, but he felt the more he tried, the more he felt that perhaps he was-
No! Arnold continued to think to himself. That can't be right! It's not right. It doesn't make sense. I shouldn't be helping people if I enjoy doing it. That would make me selfish and only using them. That's not right! That's not who I am!
The conclusion only served to agitate Arnold ever more, if not anger him. As soon as he was done, he made his way out and went downstairs. Taking his time, as he got to the first floor he made his way to the kitchen to get a bite to eat. He heard some commotion in there and figured someone was already up making something. As soon as he turned the corner to get in, he saw that it was his father.
"Morning Dad." Arnold greeted his father as he went inside.
"Oh, good morning son." His father warmly greeted. "Up so soon?"
"Soon?" A confused Arnold asked as he sat down on the chair
"Yeah." Miles responded with a little chuckle. "It's still quite early." As he turned and looked up at the clock. "It's about 7:30am."
A surprised Arnold looked up at the same clock and realized that his father was right.
So that's why I was the first one to get to the bathroom. Arnold thought.
"Oh." Arnold said. "I guess I accidentally set my alarm at the wrong time."
"That's okay." Mile said. "You hungry?" He asked. "I'm making toast and eggs."
"Yes, please." A suddenly hungry Arnold said as his stomach made a gentle growl.
"Two eggs and toast coming right up." Miles happily said and immediately got to work, but not before serving some orange juice for Arnold and giving it to him.
"Thank you." Arnold thanked him as he took a sip from his juice.
Arnold's parents had been pampering him a bit since they came back home. He had noticed early on them doing certain things for him such as serving him water/juice, opening the door for him, folding his clothes after they were washed, offering him to go in front of them to go to the bathroom, laying out new bed sheets, even his clothes. But, the Football Head didn't mind it. He knew why they were doing it. Actually, he quite enjoyed it. No, he was grateful for it. Not so much for all the attention, as much as that it felt nice to have someone doing all those things with so much affection. Despite overdoing it a bit, Arnold tried not to say anything to them, for fear of discouraging them or worse, creating this distance between them again, a distance that he also has been eager to close.
Arnold continued to enjoy his juice while his father made him breakfast, as well as their time in the same room. And yet, despite his attempts, his mind kept going back to what Phil had said to him. No matter how hard he tried, it just couldn't leave him alone.
"Hey, dad." Arnold then said to him with a sigh. "Can I ask you a question?"
Miles then immediately froze, not saying a word nor even moving for a few seconds. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. The question that he had so long for to be asked had finally come.
He-He wants to ask me a question?! A stunned Miles thought to himself. He wants to talk to me about something! This is it! He is finally opening up to me! Okay Miles, just take it easy, respond calmly to him, be atten-
"Dad?" Arnold then called out to him.
Ever since Miles and Stella woke up from their decade-old slumber and were brought back, wanting to make up for lost time, they had been eagerly yearning for every chance to get closer to Arnold. This included helping him out with any issue or problem he may be facing. However, realizing they were hopelessly 10 years outdated, Miles and Stella had to rely on Arnold's help instead in order to integrate themselves into the 21st Century. This in turn prompted Arnold to continue relying on his grandparents for help and advice on any issue, something the Shortmans noticed, but had to grudgingly accept as they did not want to force themselves onto Arnold, nor cause any serious disruptions to their still growing relationship. But now with Arnold finally asking his father for advice, Miles realized that he was at a crucial crossroad, one which he now had to prove to his son that he can rely on him and not the other way around.
"Yes, yes, I'm here!" A nervous Miles quickly and suddenly responded back and turned around to face Arnold, but then quickly calmed down. "I-I mean, uh, of course son, you can ask me anything."
Arnold noticed his father's strange behaviour, but decided to put it aside to attend to his most pressing problem.
"Well, I have this dilemma that won't go away." He began to explain to him.
"Hm hmm." Miles eagerly said as he tried to act calm and listen to his son, but then soon realized that the eggs were about to burn and so had to quickly turn back around to attend to them.
"It's something that Rodrigo said to me yesterday." Arnold continued with his story. "and when I got home, grandpa pretty much agreed with him."
"Okay sure." Miles calmly responded. "Why don't you tell me from the beginning what happened?" He suggested.
"Okay." Arnold agreed and then proceeded to tell him everything that happened between him and Rodrigo, his attempts to 'help him', only for the Latino kid to finally explode at him, as well as what Phil said to him after.
Miles just silently listened to his son as he took out his eggs and toast, put some butter on the toast and give it to Arnold on a plate. Once that was done, Miles gave Arnold his full attention.
"And that's pretty much it." Arnold said, finally concluding his story. "I don't believe what grandpa said was right, but I can't get over what he said out of my head. It's like the more I think about it, the more I tend to believe it. But, I can't accept that conclusion. It goes against everything I am, everything I believe in. So, what do I do?"
Mile just stood there in utter silence, frozen, with wide-opened eyes. He was completely stunned by Arnold's dilemma. He was expecting to have a typical fatherly-son talk, one that revolved around more typical pre-teen problems. He did not expect to get involved into a philosophical discussion, one that delved deep into the human sub-conscious of one's ego, desires, and empathy for others resided.
"Uhhh…" Miles stumbled on what to really say about this. However, knowing the seriousness of the matter, he gathered his cohesion, and with a determined face, went to the table to sit down.
"That's quite of a pickle you are in Arnold." He said to his son. "To be honest, I don't think I have the answer to your problem. But, let's see if we can find the answer together."
"How?" Arnold asked.
"Well," Miles then proceeded to think about it for a second. "like a doctor/explorer, we can make an induction."
"A what?" Arnold asked.
"An induction." Miles repeated and then explained, "It's when to make a reasonable explanation or train of thought from observation. It's the opposite of deduction, where you base something from facts."
"Oh, okay." Arnold understood.
"So," Miles then began. "let me start by asking you this question. What do you feel when you see someone, especially someone you care about, is struggling or is really bothered by something?"
"Well," Arnold answered, "I feel like I want to help them."
"That's a start." Miles encouraged him with a smile. "But where does this desire to help people come from? What is it that you are feeling that pushes you to want to help someone?"
Arnold went silent as he thought about it.
"Well," he then began, "I feel bad. Not so much out of pity, but that I feel terrible that I'm doing fine, but they are not. You can often see it in their face; something is really bothering them, so much that they sometimes struggle in their daily lives, while I don't. I guess I feel empathetic towards others."
Miles smiled with delight at what Arnold had said. It made him proud to see his son having the same empathetic feelings as he has.
"Is there anything else?" Miles asked him.
"Well," Arnold then said, "I also feel...uneasy. Like really uneasy."
"Uneasy?" His father asked with a raised eyebrow. "About what?"
"It's hard to explain," Arnold said, "but I guess there is an imbalance that I feel I need to amend."
Miles noticed that Arnold was gathering his thoughts on how to properly explain this 'uneasiness' and so kept quiet and patiently waited for him to continued.
"It's like, whenever I see someone in trouble, I can sense that whatever is bothering them, it's causing this imbalance in their life that they can't seem to put back to normal. And what's more, it starts to affect me. It's like whatever is affecting them, it spills over into my life. It's like I can feel their pain or something. It can be overwhelming sometimes."
"And that bothers you?" Miles then asked.
"Yeah, it does." Arnold replied. "But not just me, but the whole universe. Whenever that happens, I feel everything around me gets out of whack; nothing is where it needs to be. And so it pushes me to want to restore that balance again in the world. Maybe not restoring it to perfection, but enough for things to go back to the way it was, back to just being okay."
"I see." Miles said, now understanding his son a bit more. "Are you also concerned that a person's problem may also spill over to others?"
"Yes!" Arnold exclaimed. "I can get a bit anxious sometimes about it. It's like there is a dam and water is leaking through it. Down below is a town and I'm the only thing standing between it and the dam completely falling apart and engulfing the town. I'm the only person in the vicinity that can do anything about it."
"That's a lot of pressure you put yourself in." A stunned Miles couldn't help but remark. "Why do you put that much pressure on yourself? Or put it another way, why do you feel that you are the only person that can help the town from being swallowed up the flood?"
"Well," Arnold began to explain, "I guess it's because I don't see anyone else trying to help that person out."
That last part hit Miles hard and he couldn't help but show is his surprise.
Arnold continued, albeit this time with some anger in his tone. "I often see the person struggling with something for many days or weeks and no one around him bothers to take a few moments of their time to even just ask him, or her, what is the matter. It's not only very sad, but sometimes it makes me angry!"
"Angry?" Miles asked. "In what way?" He knew the answer, but felt that Arnold needed to let it out.
"That people are so self-centered!" Arnold exclaimed. "They can't even see that someone right next to them is clearly bothered by something. If we can just take a few moments of our time to look at our surroundings and have the decency to help others, maybe this world can be a better place and maybe I wouldn't have to always feel that I need to intervene."
"I see." Miles said as he rubbed his chin.
"That's why I can't accept what grandpa said." Arnold continued. "It just doesn't make sense. People who get a 'kick' out of doing something must be selfish because that means they are putting their wants and desires first before anyone else', right?"
Miles answered Arnold's question with a question, "So you believe if you accept what grandpa said, you feel you are just like everyone else because you are putting your wants and desires first, if not worse?"
"Exactly." Arnold said. "You get me, right Dad?" He asked him.
"Well I uh-" Miles tried to come up with something as reassurance, but was coming up short. "Well I mean, uh, it's not that simple, Arnold. I mean, you do have a good point, but I don't think you enjoying in wanting to help people is a bad thing."
"How is it not?" Arnold asked. "Isn't your emotions your own thing and if you are enjoying something, then by definition, you are doing it because you are enjoying it?"
"Well yes, that's true," Miles nervously replied as he desperately tried how he personally thought about all of this. "but I mean, I don't think it's just that simple. You are putting enjoying something as either black or white, good or bad. I'm afraid it's a lot more complicated than that."
"How so?" Arnold asked.
"Well, I uh, " Miles again tried to come up with something. It took him a critical few seconds, but after giving it some thought, he got an idea.
"Okay, answer me this question." He said to his son. "Are there some things that you don't really care to do? Not things that you hate or don't like, but things that you are, let's way 'emotionally neutral' about? Things that you couldn't care less?"
"Well, yeah, there are some." Arnold replied.
"Okay, great." Miles said with a smile. "And when you are asked to do those things, what do you feel? Do you get excited about it?"
"No." Arnold replied.
"Do you detest it?" Miles asked.
"Depends on the thing, but often no." Arnold replied. "I just don't feel anything about it."
"And do you find it harder to do those things than those that you like to do?" Miles asked.
"Yeah, a bit." Arnold replied. "I often have to push myself to do it."
"and what about the things that you just don't like doing?" Miles asked.
"They are even harder to do them." Arnold replied. "I feel like that something is pushing me away to do it. You know, procrastinating."
"Great!" Miles exclaimed. "And what does all of this tell you?"
Arnold took his time before he answered. "It tells me that I can't seem to do anything unless I enjoy them."
"Exactly." Miles happily exclaimed,but he knew this wasn't the end of the story. "Arnold, there is a big difference if you are helping people purely for your own self enjoyment or amusement, than if you enjoy helping others."
"Grandpa said the same thing, but I don't see the difference." Arnold commented.
"Well, think of it this way." Miles then proceeded to explain. "if you were really helping others purely for your own self-pleasure, you wouldn't be feeling bad for them in the first place. If you were really as selfish as you claim, you wouldn't care about them. But, you yourself just said a moment ago that whenever you see someone in trouble, you not only feel bad for them, but can sense their pain, even be almost overwhelmed by it, did you not?"
"Yes, I did." Arnold admitted.
"That empathy clearly shows to me that you are not selfish." Miles then said. "You can't be, unless of course you are lying to me about it."
"No, I'm not." Arnold firmly replied.
"Then how can you be selfish when you can clearly feel the pain the other person is experiencing?" Miles then rhetorically asked. "People like Lasombra and Von Scheck are selfish because they use empathy to gain something. Whether it is money, power, or revenge, they use people as a means to an end. You don't, except for one thing. Do you know what that is?"
Arnold just shook his head.
"You feel good after helping others." Miles continued. "That satisfaction is not what causes you to help people, it's the result or byproduct of it. You can even call it a 'reward'".
"A reward?" A confused Arnold asked.
"Yes, son." Miles replied. "Think about it. You feel so much empathy for others that it can sometimes feel overwhelming. To remedy that, you feel compelled to help them and at first, that may seem selfish since you are doing it so you can stop feeling sad and overwhelmed. But where you differ from people like Lasombra or Von Scheck is that you make an actual effort to help them, for their sake, not yours. You seek out answers for their benefit. And whenever you do succeed, you feel not only relieved, but happy. Am I right about that?"
"Yes, that's true." Arnold replied.
"So then," Miles then concluded, "why do you feel bad for feeling happy in helping others? I think that is a positive trait to have because you turned something potentially bad and selfish into something positively constructive."
Arnold didn't say anything and just looked at his dad with a stunned look at his time. The conclusion he drawn up was something he had not considered before and was a huge turnaround.
"I...didn't think of it that way before." Arnold then finally spoke.
"That's alright, son." Miles assured him. "It's okay to feel confused about these things and you should always be self-critical."
"Yeah." Arnold agreed whilst still stunned. "I guess that's something I'm gonna have to think about more." He admitted.
"No worries." Miles said with a chuckle as he lovingly rubbed Arnold's hair. "Take all the time you need."
Time. Miles remembered about the time and looked up at the clock.
"But, you're gonna have to think about it later." He then said. "Because you have to go to school."
Arnold then looked at the clock as well and realized he only had a few minutes to get to the bus stop.
"Oh right!" He hurriedly exclaimed as he jumped off from the chair. "I have to get my backpack. Thanks dad." He said as he went to his father and hugged him.
"Any time, son." Miles said as he hugged him back.
Just then, Stella entered the kitchen, looking sleepy.
"Oh, morning you two." She said with a yawn. Did I missing anything?"
"Yeah, dad was helping me with a problem I had." Arnold then explained. "What he said was really insightful."
"Oh?" Stella asked, the topic getting her attention. "What about?"
"Sorry mom, but I gotta go." Arnold said as he began to leave the kitchen. "I gotta go to school. Love you." He said as he quickly hugged his mother before leaving the kitchen.
"Love you too." Stella said and waited until Arnold ran up upstairs to get his things.
"Is he alright?" Stella then asked Miles. "What problem did you help him with?"
Miles could no longer contain his excitement. "Honey, you won't believe what happened! Arnold actually came to me for advice!"
"What?" A shocked Stella said. "He did? Did you help him?"
"Yes!" Miles excitedly exclaimed, so much so that he almost let out a high squeal.
"Well, why didn't you wake me up?" A now irritated Stella asked. "I wanted to be there too!"
"I'm so sorry hunny." Miles sympathetically said as he approached her, hugged her and kissed her. "Arnold caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting him to ask me for advice this morning."
Stella couldn't hide her disappointment, but she understood.
"Oh, alright. It's okay." She said with a small smile. "But the next time he comes to us for advise, he's all mine. Got it mister?" She then firmly said him.
"Got it." Miles responded with a smile. "I promise."
Later that day...during lunchtime…
Arnold had already entered the lunch room and was already sitting down, alongside Gerald, Phoebe and Helga. However, Arnold just sat quietly as he ate his lunch. He had been in deep thought that whole day, thinking about his conversation with his father. However stunned he initially was by the revelation, he still had a hard time processing it, and so took the time to really think it through.
My dad did have a point. Arnold thought to himself. I don't help people for my own sake, but for theirs. But, it just seems to strange that I also somehow emotionally benefit from it.
Arnold then took a sip of water.
There's really no way around it. He continued to think. No matter how hard I try, one way or another, being selfish is a preset. It's like I can't really seem to break free from it. It's everywhere. So then, perhaps it's only a matter of how I utilize my selfishness.
"Hey Arnold," Gerald then called out to him, breaking Arnold's train of thought, "you okay, man?" He asked him.
"Yeah, I am Gerald." Arnold replied. "I've just been thinking."
"About what?" Gerald asked as he took a bite from his food. "Is it about what Rodrigo said to you?"
Helga overheard their conversation and although she remained quiet, they now got her attention.
"Yeah, it is." Arnold replied. "Well, it's now what my grandpa and then my dad said to me. It really hit me hard and it has made me reflect on a lot of things."
"Oh boy," Gerald then said with a sigh, knowing full well what is about to happen next, "I'm gonna regret asking this, but what exactly did they say to you?"
Arnold then proceed to tell Gerald everything that both his grandfather and later father said to him yesterday and that morning respectively. Gerald remained quiet, even remained emotionally neutral throughout as he listened to his best friend.
It took him a while, but eventually Arnold finally concluded his story. "And so basically he said that my emotional satisfaction to helping others is not what pushes me to help people, but as a consequence of it. I get happy or relieved on seeing people be relieved of their problems, but in order to get that, I have to actually help them, for their sake, not mine. And if I succeed, I get 'rewarded' for it."
"Hm, sounds about right." Gerald then casually responded as he took a bite from his sandwich.
"You really think so?" Arnold asked him. "So you agree with what my grandfather and father say?"
"I don't see any way around it." Gerald replied. "Sounds like you got two wise people who are living with you. I can see that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
"But if that were true," Arnold then continued. "than that means I really wasn't being genuine with Rodrigo, or anyone for that matter these last couple of weeks. I was merely using anyone I was helping just to end up getting to help Rodrigo so I can feel that satisfaction."
"Pfft! I would have told you that." Helga finally spoke as she took a bite out of her sandwich, getting the two pre-teens' attention.
"You think so, Helga?" Arnold asked her.
"Look Football Head," Helga then spoke in a calm, but seriousness tone, "no one is perfect around here, not even you. And this is coming from me, so that says a lot. Of course you are helping others just for your own satisfaction. Where else do you get motivation to dedicate the time and energy to go out of your way to help people? You sure are not getting paid for your amount of work, not even a praise from this mob. So obviously that motivation is coming from inside you."
"Hm." Arnold said as he pondered about it, but Helga wasn't done.
"Up to that point, you are selfish." She continued. "But, what is special about you is your unfazed, even fanatical desire to actually help people. Somehow, you managed to train yourself to use your selfishness into doing unselfish things, if that makes any sense. You have a twisted conundrum psyche if you ask me, but it's what makes you you and it's what people love about you."
"Well, thank you Helga." said Arnold.
Helga then concluded. "So stop wasting your time overthinking this and just accept it." As she took a bite out of her sandwich. "Oh and go apologize to Rodrigo." She mumbled.
"What Helga said, Arnold." Gerald then spoke. "Pretty much took the words out of my mouth. I don't see any other way you can dedicate so much time helping people, unless you somehow enjoy doing it. It's the only thing that keeps you going."
Arnold stayed silent and thought about what both of them said. Phoebe in the meantime remained quiet also, having nothing else to add to the conversation, but she secretly agreed with both Gerald and Helga.
"So now I think you know what you need to do." Gerald said with a smile.
"Yeah." Arnold finally agreed. "Go and apologize to Rodrigo."
"There you go." said Gerald. "Hope you never change, man." He complimented him.
I hope so too, my love. Ooohhhh. Helga swooned in thought as she let out a small, romantic smile.
Later that same day…
The bell finally rang, signaling to the whole school the end of the day. Students quickly got out and made it for their lockers. Arnold was among them, eagerly, but politely pushing through the busy hallways to get to his locker. But unlike the rest of his peers, he was not eager to get home. As soon as he got his belongings, he informed his friends to go on without him, as he had unfinished business with a certain Latino kid.
Arnold didn't waste any time. He wanted to catch Rodrigo before he got on the bus. He didn't want anyone to ease drop on their conversation, and so wanted to speak to him privately while on school property, just as everyone was leaving.
"I'll see you guys later." Arnold quickly said to them as he hurried off and ran down the hall.
After a few twists and turns, he caught sight of him.
"Rodrigo!" Arnold called out to him.
Rodrigo was by his locker and had just gotten his belongings and closed his locker. He was putting on his coat when he heard Arnold calling him. Not surprisingly, he was not happy to see him. He groaned at the thought of having to talk to him again, just as he turned around to face him.
"What do you want now?" He coldly asked him.
"Good thing I caught you before you left." Arnold said as he exhaled a bit to catch his breath. "I need...to talk to you."
Rodrigo however, was having none of it. "Listen, if you came here to ask to 'reveal' any of my problems, I swear to you Arnold, you are going to have-"
"No, no, not about that." Arnold quickly interjected. "It's actually about what you said to me yesterday. Just hear me out please, it's important."
Rodrigo looked at Arnold with a suspicious look. He had to put up with his hassling for weeks and was no in mood on dealing with this again. But, considering that he was only going to talk to him about what he said to him, and being slightly curious, he relented.
"Fine." He said. "What did you want to tell me?"
Arnold was relieved on hearing him say that. He quickly looked around to see if there were anyone around. Apart from a few students, the hallway was quickly becoming empty.
"Okay." He started. "First off, I wanted to apologize to you for hassling you these last few weeks and for assuming that you were in trouble and needed my help."
When Rodrigo said nothing, Arnold continued.
"The truth is, what you said to me yesterday, you were right. Everyone was coming to me for help, even grownups, that I couldn't accept the fact that there are some people in this world that are not in any trouble, at least not at that time, nor may they need my help. They may need help from other people or specialists, but not mine. I just couldn't accept it. And it wasn't by choice. It was all sub-conscious. I guess that's why I 'had' to distort reality and believe that you not only were in trouble, but wanted my help, but you were just too shy or scared to ask. That wasn't at all fair to you, nor helpful. So, I'm sorry Rodrigo. I'm sorry for harassing you over this."
Arnold's genuine words and tone revealed to Rodrigo that he had finally gotten through to him and he meant it. That realization also allowed him to release his tension and suspicion.
"That's okay, Arnold." Rodrigo then finally spoke. "Apology accepted." He said with a small smile, to which Arnold smiled back.
"Why though?" Rodrigo then asked. "Why was it so important for you to want to help me? You even came to believe that I was in some sort of trouble. Why?"
"I kind of figured you would ask me that." Arnold shyly said as he rubbed the back of his head. "And I don't mind telling you. After what I put you through, you deserve to know."
Rodrigo remained quiet and waited for him. Arnold took a deep breath and then began.
"First off, what I'm about to say doesn't excuse me for what I did. I'm just explaining how all this came about. And the truth is, well, me helping people, it's how I cope."
"Cope with that?" Rodrigo asked.
"Before I found my parents," Arnold continued to explain, "I felt this sense of loss in my life. Like I was missing something. I grew up with my grandparents and the tenants, but I never knew of my parents, nor did I know what it was like to have a, well, normal family. Like yours."
That last part surprised Rodrigo.
"I don't always feel that way." Arnold continued. "It would rise on certain occasions, like on the day when my parents left. On most days I'm okay, but when I'm reminded of it, I would become sad, sometimes even angry. And it would only get worse for me when I see people going through similar things. It was bad enough that I would be sad or angry about my own situation, but to also see it happen to people, it just added to the burden. It's as if I would end up absorbing the pain that they were experiencing. It just got overwhelming and hard to deal with. So to cope with that, I would dedicate a lot of my time in helping people because, that's how I help myself."
"But, you have your parents now." Rodrigo then commented. "Surely with them back in your life you don't feel like that anymore, do you?"
"Well, no." Arnold agreed. "But now I just feel really scared."
"Scared?" A confused Rodrigo asked. "Scared of what?"
"Scared of losing them again." Arnold replied. "I may not be feeling sad or angry anymore for leaving me, but ever since we came back from San Lorenzo, I've been having these nightmares where they would just leave me again or something just takes them away from me."
"Really?" Rodrigo asked, now understanding Arnold's issue. "Are they that bad?"
Arnold just nodded. "Yeah. Some are so bad that sometimes I wake up sweating."
"So you're telling me that you went through periods of sadness and anger to now fear?" Rodrigo asked.
"Yeah." Arnold replied.
"And to cope with this fear, you continue to help others?" Rodrigo asked.
"More or less." Arnold replied.
"And when you did end up helping others?" Rodrigo asked. "How did it make you feel?"
Arnold replied, somewhat sadly. "It made me feel, well, happy I guess. It's hard to describe it, but I felt that I at least was able to help someone by ridding them of their problem, even though I couldn't with mine."
"That's why I got angry with you yesterday." He continued. "Your comments hit right at home. I am selfish."
"Arnold look," Rodrigo began to remorsefully say, "My comments weren't directed to all the things you did for people. You clearly do people help. I was mostly talking about those days when you helped others just so you could get me to accept your help."
"I know." Arnold then said. "And you were right. During those days I was using people just so I can get you to let me help you. But your comments also got me thinking about all the times I actually helped people and it forced me to self-reflect on my selfishness, because that's what it is. But, it's not in a bad way."
"How so?" Rodrigo asked.
Arnold didn't want to give Rodrigo a huge lecture on everything he spoke with his grandfather and father. So he instead just settled on giving him a simple explanation. "Because even though I help people just to make me feel better, I can only feel better if I actually help people. My happiness is tied to getting other people to feel happy again, or at least relieved. Initially I thought that was for sure being selfishness, but I came to realize that's just my way of being sympathetic to people. I mean, in order to be unselfish, you have to be selfish first. I'm not sure if you can understand that."
"Actually, I can." Rodrigo acknowledged.
"Anyways," Arnold finally concluded, "That's my explanation."
Rodrigo felt humbled, even grateful at how honest and open Arnold was with him. But he was glad he knew about this because it allowed him to fully understand why Arnold is so adamant to helping people.
"Well, thanks Arnold, for telling me this." Rodrigo then said as he offered his hand, to which Arnold shook it. "I may not know what you went through, but I think I can understand where you are coming from."
"Thanks, Rodrigo." Arnold said to him with a smile.
"Question." Rodrigo then asked. "Why are you telling me all of this? Not that I don't appreciate it, but it just feels like this is all private and even though I may have deserved an explanation, you didn't really need to tell all of this."
"I know." Arnold agreed. "I wanted to. Granted, this isn't something I told everyone, but in the months since we met, you've shown that you are mature, trustworthy and smart to understand this."
"Do Helga and Gerald know about this?" Rodrigo asked.
"Yes." Arnold replied. "Only they know. I haven't told Phoebe, but given how smart she is, I wouldn't be surprised if she figured it out herself."
"Well, thanks Arnold." A flattered Rodrigo said. "That means a lot. I appreciate you telling me this and I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you, Rodrigo." Arnold said to him with a smile. "So, we're good?"
"Yeah, we're good." Rodrigo replied back. "But I think we missed the bus." He then said as he looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall.
"Oh." Arnold surprisingly said when he looked at the clock as well. "Sorry about that. I lost track of time."
"It's okay." Rodrigo said. "We can just walk. Hope you dressed up warmly."
"I did, thankfully." Arnold said as he unzipped his coat to reveal his scarf and sweater.
The two pre-teens then proceeded to quickly head home. Feeling a tighter bond in their seemingly growing friendship, the two began to converse on what they should do once they arrived back in the neighbourhood. Allowing what had transpired these last few weeks to be put in the past, Arnold can now look forward to a more realistic, but still optimistic future in both his life and in his friendship with his newfound friend.
The End
And there you have it! I hope you enjoyed the story. As stated at the beginning of this story, this is a three part story. We first discussed about Arnold's issue, so now we will dive into the thoughts of the second character that how she is dealing with Arnold's newfound fame; Helga!
I wrote this story because not much has been touched on Arnold's psyche and his relentless drive to help people. So I wanted to paint a psychological picture on how his mind functions and where does he derive the strength to use so much of his time to resolve other people's problems. Honestly, writing this story took a while because I had to really think hard about this, while also making it entertaining.
But now that I got both this and the previous story out of the way, I can finally start writing about how Helga feels about Arnold devoting so much attention to other people instead of her. I'm really excited about this upcoming story! :)
