Much like the last time he'd been sent off Nur, Cal had been collected from his quarters with a simple message to appear at a landing platform.
Unlike the last time he'd been sent off planet, he wasn't alone when he arrived on the water's surface.
Besides having BD firmly perched on his shoulder, Cal arrived to find Trilla standing in the blazing sun, clad head to toe in her black uniform and face covered by her severe helmet. Beside her were a handful of purgetroopers. Cal counted eight, two troops to each type of weapon. Though he didn't fear the warriors, seeing them again did leave him with a lingering dread. Whereas Cal had found normal people with personal lives amongst the stormtroopers, and to some extent the officers, he couldn't imagine anything other than blood thirsty fanatics when he saw the purgetroopers.
Keeping his spiteful thoughts to himself, Cal refused to speak -even to Trilla- as they waited for a lambda shuttle to ferry them off the planet's surface.
The wait didn't last long, and the flight to an awaiting cruiser went even faster.
Upon landing in the new yet painfully familiar ship, Cal tried to scurry along, meaning to leave the Second Sister and her ravenous purge troopers behind.
But, before he made it out of the landing bay, Trilla called out, "Cal! A word, in private."
When Cal stopped and stiffened at the call rather than moving one way or the other, BD peered back into the hanger before quietly chirping out a question and a sarcastic comment.
Cal didn't like her tone either, but he tried to stay calm. "Yeah, buddy, but ignoring her will make more trouble than it's worth."
Making a low sound, BD tried to understand Cal's decision as the young man turned around and made the short walk back toward the lambda shuttle.
"What?" he asked, the last of the purgetroopers shuffling out of the hanger.
Having half a mind to comment at his tone, but then deciding that it wasn't worth the effort, she simply answered, "Come with me." Before walking off, opposite the direction that Cal had originally gone.
Earning a confused beep from BD, Cal cast the droid an unsure look as he followed the Second Sister.
Winding through a series of long halls, Cal began wondering just how large the cruiser really was. Before he could truly get a feel for the ship, however, Trilla came to a slow stop at a door. Pulling a code cylinder from her belt, she opened it to reveal a large living quarters.
Probably double the size of the space they had back as the fortress, this one contained a similar kitchenette, though probably double the size and also a dedicated dining area. The bedroom, an actual separate room in this case, was only slightly visible through an open door on the far wall.
"Didn't know we already had rooms assigned." Cal broke the silence as he entered behind Trilla.
"We didn't, but this one is mine now," she answered as she crossed the room for the small table near the kitchenette.
Sure that he would hear the crew complaining about this later, Cal shut the door behind them.
"Have a seat," Trilla said as she did so.
Annoyance mounting, Cal slumped down opposite of Trilla, "Fine, we're sitting, now what do you want?"
Removing her helmet and setting it on the table, Trilla answered, "to make sure that we reach an understanding before we arrive at Kaller."
"Really?" Cal asked incredulously, severely doubting that Trilla, "We couldn't do this in the hanger?"
"No," she answered like it was obvious, "Petty squabbles are one thing, but it's better not to fight outright in front of the rank and file."
Trying to keep a relaxed look, Cal made sure he was ready to move from the chair at a second's notice, "if you wanted a fight, there was plenty of room in the hanger."
"Not a physical fight you idiot, though with you I expect nothing less."
"So why did you bother bringing me along?" he had to know.
Trilla shrugged, "because I was ordered to."
Cal wasn't surprised, but he couldn't resist getting a little sarcasm in, "and here I was, thinking you might have needed my help."
"Don't flatter yourself," Trilla scoffed.
As much as he had been joking, the dismissal did set Cal a little on edge. Trying not to show it he still found himself sputtering, "You don't have to act all high and mighty. It's not like you're invisible either."
"I didn't go that far," Trilla corrected, "I just think it's very entertaining for you to act as if I would ever need your help."
Now it was Cal's turn to knock her down a peg, "How many of your errands have you sent me on? Finding that crew? Everything on Kashyyyk?"
You never even would have found that holocron if I hadn't done it for you, he silently added to himself.
"While you're certainly more fit to be an errand boy than anything else, I'll have you know that those were official missions."
"You'll say anything to make it look like you're in charge, huh?" Cal rolled his eyes.
Trilla only took the bait because she was sure that she could use it to her advantage, "I hardly have to pretend. From rank, to skill, to power, there's no way you outmatch me."
"Oh no," Cal feigned concern, "next thing I know, you're going to challenge me to another sparring match in the gym."
At that, Trilla's tone turned a shade more serious, "If I were ever truly trying to kill you, I would have."
Cal didn't even try to keep from rolling his eyes, "Right… "
Knowing exactly what Cal was implying, Trilla incredulously asked "Name one time you've defeated me in combat."
"Bracca," Cal started with the first.
Trilla was sure he had to be joking, "You ran away."
"But you didn't beat me." Cal stubbornly maintained.
"By that logic, you didn't win either."
Dropping that one, he moved on to their next encounter, "Fine, then on Zeffo."
Trilla glanced at BD before looking back to Cal, "Technically your droid won that, and you also ran away."
"Well, you ran away on Bogano, so I won that one."
Now she had to laugh, "You were caught on a trance for so long, I could have left, gathered a squadron, and returned to arrange an execution."
"But you didn't." Cal pointed out, "So I think that technically makes it a draw."
"I think that means you're a sore loser." Trilla shot back.
"Am not," he quickly replied before realizing that he was only proving her point. "I've definitely beat you at least once."
"Maybe in your mind."
Taking the barb for what it was, Cal wracked his mind, There has to be at least once… Sparing on the Vehement… No. We didn't actually fight on Kashyyyk. Wait, did we? No, no. The Fortress was a disaster… Hold on.
While part of him didn't want to say it, the rest of him needed to, "The dojo."
Trilla sat straight, "Are you really sure you consider that a victory?"
"If the Fifth Brother hadn't been there, you would have died." Cal chose his words carefully.
She heard the caution. Features going still, Trilla wondered what conflicted little thoughts were running through Cal's head. Sensing apprehension and no small twinge of shame, she decided to poke at the emotional wound, "And yet the match ended with you back in a cell. I still won."
As right as she might be, Cal couldn't let her have this, "Sounds like you're the sore looser now."
Returning a shred of nonchalance back to the conversation, Trilla leaned back but still managed to insult Cal, "I don't pretend otherwise."
"I think you do." He called her out, leaning forward as she moved back, "and I also think that I would have killed you if the Fifth Brother hadn't been there."
Trilla breathed to cover a laugh that had itself meant to cover how close to the truth Cal actually was, "I suppose it is a bit late to send you back to the table."
"Oh, don't think I forgot about that either," he picked at her comment, "just because I'm angry with Cere and the others, doesn't mean I can't be mad at the Empire too."
Though the threat was thinly veiled, it was expected enough that Trilla had a response at the ready, "Spoken like a true inquisitor. We all start off that way, but you'll learn to love it here."
"I doubt it."
"Doubt all you want," not one to be put on the defensive for long, Trilla moved back towards the table, "but we've long known you have to break someone before you can rebuild them."
Cal had heard that sentiment before. Seemingly a lifetime ago, during that ill-fated battle in the dojo, no less, "The torture was only a tool. A means to an end."
He tried to ignore that particular lesson, almost as much as he tried to ignore his last conversation with the Grand Inquisitor and the troubling realization that came along with it.
Trilla could see Cals thoughts crawling across his features, "Look me in the eye and tell me that it didn't work."
Cal clenched his jaw.
The destruction, the absolute ruining of the past, followed him like a shadow. Killing the life he'd known and throwing the thought of ever returning into they abyss. For a long while he'd thought that change had been forced on him, but now he had to admit the truth.
Trilla smirked, "That's what I thought."
She made his skin crawl.
"Fine. You got me," even Cal heard the harsh edge to his words. He wished they sounded like they came from a stranger. "Something snapped, and every time I think I know what's going on, the Empire just makes my whole world fall out from underneath me."
Immediately on guard at the harsh turn, Trilla wasn't surprised to see the little bit of goodwill between them vanish, "Stay here long enough, you'll learn that's not true."
A glare and a tilt of Cal's head said he didn't believe her.
Trilla let out a half-hearted chuckle, reminded of her first year or so as an Inquisitor. The Empire had seemed like such a colossal thing, an immovable object, as endless and unyielding as space itself. An unfeeling, unflinching monolith, an autocratic beast made up of droves of mindless devotees, led by occasional fanatics.
But, as time ground on, as Trilla went from ship to ship, mission to mission, day in and day out in the Empire's midst, she began to see the little fissures within the Empire. The infighting between senior officers, the rampant backstabbing among the Moffs, mistrust and lies within the senate. Everyone seemed to behave like horrible little children, and she knew that they needed a real authority. A true guiding hand to keep them from self-ruin.
"Well," she spoke to Cal's harsh features, "The Empire is a pain. But, at the end of everything, it's only people. Sad pathetic little people, living sad pathetic little lives. You're welcome to join them, or you can stay with the Inquisitorius."
"Sad and pathetic, huh?" He muttered before turning the words back on Trilla, "Sounds like the way I'd describe the Inquisitors, just living at the mercy of someone else."
"Not at all," the almost personable tone Trilla had worn before had vanished, "they're all living at our mercy."
Cal clenched and the released a fist, his last moments on Bracca flashing before his eyes.
The demolition team hadn't taken long. Less than an hour, even.
Cal had assumed that they cleared the building before setting charges, but looking back he wondered if that were even possible for how quickly everything had happened. He wondered if he even cared, a few lives being nothing but collateral damage in Cal's effort to kill his past.
It was a cold thought for a cold heart, and Cal wished that he wished it wasn't his own.
"They're all living at our mercy," he considered Trilla's words, they really are, aren't they?
Even now, Cal's mind wandered to the rebels on Kashyyyk, to the idea that Cere and the others must have been desperately fleeing the Empires hand, just as they had when Cal had been with them.
"And for the record," Trilla broke the silence left by Cal's brooding state, "we both know what Cere is going to say to you."
Cal tensed, "You don't even know what I want to ask her."
"'Why did you leave me behind?'" Trilla answered with what she was sure was Cal's question.
Wordless, Cal gave her a poisonous look.
"It's what I wanted to know as well." Trilla explained.
I'm not like you, Cal tried to tell himself.
Acrid memories of the past twisted the edges of Trilla's mind, leaving her words bitter enough that the taste of them pulled at her features as she spoke, "She didn't have a choice. That's what she told me, and that's what she'll tell you."
Done with this conversation, Cal suddenly pushed his chair back saying, "That's enough. I can talk to Cere myself," before abruptly standing and walking away.
Trilla didn't flinch, though she did call to Cal as he reached the door, "Cal?"
Against his better judgement, he stalled for a moment.
Speaking to his back, the Second Sister told him, "Ask her what you will, but get in my way for even a moment, and I well cut through you."
.***.***.***.***.
Like every ship before this one, Cal found himself assigned to yet another perfectly generic sleeping quarters. Same standard issue furniture as the last one, it was in some ways better and in some ways worse than his room in the Fortress.
If he'd really felt the need, he was sure that he could have insisted on a room similar to Trilla's, but the extra space felt like a waste to him. And he had a desperate need to cling to anything that made him different than the other Inquisitor.
Besides, the only thing that really mattered to Cal right now was that there was a low laying bed for him to sink down onto. Using the mattress as a chair, Cal kicked off his boots, slumping slightly as he finished.
"I woke up two hours ago, and it's already been a long day."
Happy to be without Trilla or any other prying eyes for a moment, BD climbed down from Cal's back before taking a seat at his side. Trying to stay positive, the little droid was still troubled as he asked what that conversation had really been about.
"Hm?" Cal looked to the little droid, wondering how many questions he would have to answer and how long it would be before he got an answer that he didn't like, "How do you mean?"
BD beeped and trilled.
"Yeah, maybe I was being kind of weird about the fights. But she's just so smug about everything, you know?"
For as patchy as his memories about the Second Sister were, even the little droid picked up on the smug superiority.
Cal had to laugh, "Yeah, you can say that again."
But BD didn't, instead moving on to the second half of the conversation.
Cal felt his mood worsen with each passing sound, "Look, BD. I know you don't know… Well you do know that the Empire isn't good. But I've been stuck here for so long, it's like the past didn't even happen. It just doesn't feel real any more and… part of that is my fault.
"I just… I don't know, BD. We're out here looking for Cere, and Merrin and Greez, but what do I do when we finally catch up?"
The little droid answered in whistles and whirs, half questions to clarify what he had forgotten, and half poignant truths that Cal refused to dwell on.
"I can't just go back. Even if they would take me, I can't…" He didn't want to say it, to admit that he was scared of anything at this point seemed like too much of a burden to bear, too much of a truth that he wasn't sure he had the strength to face, "…I can't be left alone again."
A whistle and cautious beep came in reply.
"I guess so…" Cal grew quiet, at once knowing that he had to look for an answer within himself and that he couldn't stand to do such a thing. Laying back on the bed as if it would do something to take the weight off his shoulder, Cal asked "Hey, BD?"
The little droid's antennae swung upward as he peered down at Cal.
"Thanks for sticking with me. I don't know if you remember, but we got separated for a long time, and you came back for me when no one else did."
Knowing that there was more to those words than he could properly process, BD replied with a soft pat of his foot on Cal's shoulder
Cal had to smile at the gesture, though he did have one more painful question that he needed answers to, "What do you remember about them. About Cere, Merrin, and Greez?"
BD's antennae rocked back, the little droid beeping on about some personnel files that had been uploaded not long ago.
"Hm?" Those were news to Cal, "Let's start with Cere's, then."
Obliging the simple request, BD plopped down next to Cal. Projector pointing up, he cast a smooth image along the ceiling that Cal was able to read clearly from his position lying on the bed.
An image of Cere, much like a mugshot, filled the upper right section of the image. To the left of that was a description. Species, age, approximate heigh and weight, Cal's eyes glazed over it, largely uninterested.
What did catch his attention was the body of text on the lower half of the file. Having to scroll because the file was too long, Cal found one story after the next of Cere's encounters with the empire.
First hand testimonials from troopers that had fought her and lived, location data, and as much information that could be salvaged from the Jedi temple as possible, Cal wondered how much of this had been added by Trilla and how much by others.
He'd assumed at first it had all been the Second Sisters doing, but then the image continued to scroll and Cal was left to see something that he knew Trilla couldn't have written:
Cere's interrogation records from the Fortress.
A lump sat in Cal's throat, "Hey, BD? You got access to those records?"
An apprehensive yes came from the droid.
This is a bad idea… "Pull them up. I need to see them."
