"My first week hasn't been an unqualified success," said Commissioner Gadget. He was back in his office, seated at his desk, his cap resting on the desktop beside him. The Assistant Commissioner was seated alongside, her head in her hands. In front of the desk, Penny, Talon and Brain were still dressed in Union Jacks and looking sheepish.

The A.C. stopped facepalming long enough to pick up some newspapers from the desk. There was rolling news coverage on a widescreen TV on the wall.

"We're being slaughtered by the media, and on social media too. We're the laughing-stock of the world. Our longest-serving monarch, kidnapped from her own parade! Look at this. Bungling Commissioner Loses Queen! Over-promoted Inspector Ruins Jubilee! Gadgetinis Cause More Chaos Than Criminals! Law and Order: Not UK!"

Gadget shook his head wearily. With everything concealed within, this was painful.

"Maybe I should have retired."

"So what happens next?" the A.C. asked. "I've never dealt with these MAD people before."

Everyone else looked at Talon.

"Next step is always a ransom demand. They've gotten themselves the ultimate hostage. They'll find a suitably subtle way of letting us know."

Everyone jumped as a bottle came flying through Gadget's window, showering the room in broken glass.

Penny moved towards it, cautiously. "That's original."

Talon grinned. "Original? It's a miracle. We're on the tenth floor."

He grabbed the bottle, poked his finger inside and removed a piece of paper.

Dear Commissioner and UK Government

We have the Queen in our power! And we have her when you'll never find her. Unless you want to become a republic, here's what we want:

1. Six billion dollars

2. Control of the Government and police force, effective immediately

3. The right to party in Downing Street, as much as we want

4. Tickets for Lord's cricket ground

Payment can be made by cheque or bank transfer, excepting Bank Holidays. Please use reference: LIZ 2.

Yours contemptuously

MAD

The A.C. had turned pale. "This is terrible, Commissioner!"

"It sure is. We don't want people like that, in our cricket grounds."

"No... I mean..."

Penny took the ransom note. "Wait. You see that? Third sentence. We have her when you'll never find her. When? Why not where?"

"Probably just a typo," said Talon. "We always found it hard, getting office staff at MAD."

"No... When! They must have transferred her in time, via the G-Portal! No wonder none of our patrol cars found any trace! She's still around here somewhere... but in another timezone."

"Penn, have you ever seen the British Royal Family? They've always been in another timezone."

Penny ignored his wisecracks. "We've time-travelled before, Uncle Gadget and I. We can go find her!"

Gadget was already at his computer.

"I'll call HQ, back in Metro City. The Professor can help us here!"

Later that morning, Gadget led everyone out into New Scotland Yard, where a strange contraption was waiting for them. It looked rather like a helicopter, without the rotor blades.

"Hey!" Penny stared at it. "It's a time machine, like we used before!" She glanced at Talon. "It was before you came on the scene. We went to prehistoric times... then to Victorian London..."

"You had all the fun, didn't you, while I was at Supervillain School?"

A message sounded on Gadget's Codex, and he brought up a video message from Professor Von Slickstein.

"I've traced the Queen on the Time Scanner. Scan detected three corgis, floating through time and space. MAD has taken her back to the time of the second longest-serving monarch. Queen Victoria!"

Gadget and his party were already clambering aboard the time machine, with only the A.C. left behind. Gadget examined the controls.

"Slightly updated... but I remember as if it were last week. This is the launch button!"

Talon gave a yell as his ejector seat activated, sending him flying into the car park. Thankfully, he was wearing his jet boots. He flew back to his place.

"Do you want me to drive?"

"Coordinates laid in," the Professor reported. "Good luck, Commissioner."

Gadget had remembered, now. He pressed the red button.

There was a blaze of light, and the time machine disappeared.

In a grubby street of terraced houses in the East End of Victorian London, some ragged children were playing with a stick and a ball. They all yelled and ran for cover as the time machine appeared from nowhere. Gadget stepped out into the sooty, smoky atmosphere, followed by Penny and the others.

"It is! It's the same place as before." He remembered at once which house it was. "Talon, you're about to meet two of my ancestors."

He knocked at the door. It was answered by a chimney-sweep with a shabby suit and a sooty face. He looked exactly like Gadget.

"Corblimey! Strike a light! It's you, Guv'nor!"

Talon frowned. "Anyone have an interpreter? I don't speak Van Dyke."

Gadget smiled. "No, Chimney, as I told you before, I'm not the Governor. I'm a Police Commissioner, now. And I need your help."

"Hey, Char! Look oo's 'ere!"

A cheerful charwoman in a faded shawl appeared in the doorway.

They were invited into the small front parlour. Penny looked at the Victorian Gadgets' few possessions, and realised how lucky she had been.

Gadget quickly took them through everything that had happened, leading up to the kidnapping of the Queen. A lot more lights were struck.

"We've tracked them this far," said Penny. "We know this is the time. What we're not sure of, is the place."

"They'll want to keep her near to central London." Talon still thought like a MAD agent. It was proving useful. "So they can bring her back quickly. They'll want to get the ransom, and take power. They won't want to move her in space, as well as time."

"Has anything weird happened lately?" Penny asked.

Chimney Gadget rubbed his hand across his face, getting it dirtier.

"There was all that business with Big Ben."

"Who's he?" Gadget asked. Talon grinned.

"It's the clock tower, Mr Gadget. On the Houses of Parliament."

"It's not, actually," said Penny. "Big Ben is the bell. But it's the sound of Britain."

"It ain't struck for days," Char said. "People been arskin', what's 'appenin'. The clock's working, but the bell ain't."

"The Palace of Westminster..." Penny mused.

As one, they leapt to their feet.

"Let's go!"

Talon called at the time machine to use the cash dispenser. It gave them enough Victorian money to get through a day in this timezone. Then they went to look for transportation. The time machine was designed for time, not space travel, and Penny didn't want to risk Uncle Gadget sending them off course. She used the cloaking device to hide it from curious children.

They reached a main road, with neighbours of Char and Chimney selling flowers and fruit and hot pies.

"Come on, Uncle Gadget! There's a hansom cab over there!"

"There's quite a nice one over here, too." Gadget scrambled inside with his ancestors and Penny. Talon and Brain found themselves hanging onto the outside.

Gadget rapped on the roof.

"To the Houses of Parliament!"

Everyone - in view of the Queen's illness, I'm suspending work on this story for the time being. Here's wishing Her Majesty a speedy recovery. Jack :)