CHAPTER TWELVE

Mike jolted awake when he felt Wyatt move from his chest. His eyes sprung open, and he reached for the boy. His mind was confused but he knew he needed to protect Wyatt.

"Mike, it's me," Ginny's voice broke into his brain, and he settled back and let her take Wyatt. The boy fussed slightly then settled back asleep against Ginny. "I'm going to put him in his bed." Mike nodded and sighed, trying to bring his body back from the dead sleep he just awoke from.

Before long Ginny came back into the living room and gently pushed his legs to the back of the couch so she could sit on the edge. Mike laid there on his back looking at her. He felt the pull again, took in her staring at him and wondered where their relationship stood. Did he want more with her? The quickness of his brain's answer scared him a bit, but yes was the answer. He felt that maybe she was working towards that goal as well.

"I guess I should go," Mike said softly, but that was the last thing he wanted right then. He just didn't want to push things; in case he was wrong about her actions. He couldn't afford to lose those boys. He didn't want to be Tom. Her hand came down on his chest, resting gently. His heartbeat quickened and he was sure she could feel his response to her touch.

"Is that what you really want?" Ginny said in a whisper as her hand pushed gently against his chest. Mike couldn't hide the fact that what she was doing was making his body react. He closed his eyes and swallowed. His eyes opened when he felt her hand gently cup his jaw. "Mike?"

He couldn't answer her. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say the wrong thing. He stared her in the eyes and slowly shook his head side to side. He didn't trust his voice; he didn't know what words to say. He hadn't felt like this since he was a teenager. He felt a little ridiculous that he couldn't formulate a sentence. He swallowed again as Ginny leaned down, her face closing the distance between them. Mike felt his stomach flutter with the anticipation.

"What do you want, Mike?" she asked, her breath brushing across his face. The look in her eyes told him what she was after.

Suddenly he knew he wanted to take this chance. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have a family of his own again. He wanted to feel that intimacy with a woman again. He wanted to feel whole again. Mike closed the small gap between them and slowly touched his lips to hers. She immediately responded and the kiss went from slow and tentative to hot and needy quickly.

Her hand on his chest tangled in his shirt while her other hand went to his jaw. His arms wrapped around her neck and pulled her flush against his body. They broke from each other because of a need for air, and Mike buried his face in her neck. He kissed her softly on her neck, his hands moving down her back. He shifted his body underneath hers, his hand moving down to her butt. He pressed her against himself and dropped his head back against the couch.

She chased him down and kissed him again, repositioning herself over him. Mike sat up suddenly and swung her legs behind him, so she was sitting on his lap. He leaned in and slowly kissed her, before resting his forehead against hers. She leaned in and kissed him, but he pulled back again and closed his eyes. Ginny's hands came to the sides of his face.

"Mike," she said, and he could hear the uncertainty in her voice. He opened his eyes and saw the worry, that she had done something wrong. He smiled reassuringly at her.

"Shh," he said as he kissed her quickly. "But we need to talk about this."

"What's to talk about," she whispered as she kissed him again.

"Ginny," Mike said, as he leaned back to put distance between them.

She stared him in the eye, searching for something. Mike sighed and looked down. He felt her tense, then she got up off the couch and walked away from him with a hand on her face. Mike laid there a moment trying to think of what he needed to do. He looked at her back as she disappeared into her bedroom. Mike kicked himself mentally. She had initiated this, she wanted this, why was he still backing off? Fear. That was it. He was afraid of losing them all. But he may have already done that. There's no way for it to go back to how it was. He knew he had feelings for her, and now he knew that she had feelings for him. He smiled; he was an idiot.

He got up from the couch and moved quickly towards her bedroom. He paused at the half-closed door and composed himself. He knocked lightly but didn't wait for her response. He pushed the door open and stepped into the darkened room. Ginny was laying on her bed, with her back to him. He stood, self-conscious, at the foot of the bed, trying to will himself to make a move. Finally, he sat down on the bed opposite her and slowly stretched his legs along the bed, then he turned onto his side, and propped his elbow against the pillow, bending his arm and supporting his head. He reached out with his other hand and ran it gently from her shoulder down to her hip. His hand rested on her hip. Neither said anything and Mike was desperately trying to come up with something to say. Finally, he just opened his mouth and let the words fall out.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm scared out of my mind with this. I think the thought of losing all of you is what is causing me to…screw this up," Mike said with a sigh. He felt her body shifting under his hand as she rolled over and came face to face with him. Her hand came out and cupped his jaw as he gripped her hip still.

"Do you want more?" she asked, and he could see she had been crying. He felt his heart ache for her. He never meant to hurt her. He thought of her question, and he knew the answer. Was he brave enough to ask for it? She watched him thinking, giving him the space to make that decision.

"I…yes," he whispered and closed his eyes. The feel of her hand on his jaw was sending shockwaves through his system. His heart was hammering away, and his stomach was fluttering. He opened his eyes again to find she had scooted closer and was smiling.

"Why are you scared of this?" she asked quietly. Mike blew out a breath. He knew he had to face this fear if he was going to be able to move on.

"Because I've found peace with you guys. I feel like…I've found home again. I miss my family, and there's so much pain from that. But with the boys, I have a purpose again. I feel the light again. I don't want to do anything that will make me lose that, I don't think I can go through something like that…again."

"Oh, Mike," Ginny said gently as she leaned in and kissed him softly. He closed his eyes as he let the sensations and feelings wash over him. She pulled away from him and he opened his eyes again. "I never expected someone to come into my life and take care of my boys like you do and expect nothing in return."

"I still don't," Mike said urgently. Ginny put her fingers over his lips and Mike felt a charge go off in his brain. He kissed them but stopped talking.

"The way you are with my boys, the way you are with me. The kindness and caring you exude towards us…it made me fall for you," she continued. Mike smiled under her fingers. "Ty's talked about how you could be his dad."

Mike wasn't expecting that. He felt his heart squeeze. He closed his eyes as tears slipped out. He tried to bury his face in the pillow and cover his face from her. His brain was spinning in a million directions as he was assaulted by the emotions of her words. The stress and fatigue of the entire day collapsed on him, and he couldn't stop the tears. Tom had seen this coming, but Mike hadn't let himself dream of it.

Mike pushed himself deeper into the pillow and sniffled, as the tears flowed freely. He felt her warmth and weight as she pushed up against him, one of her legs wrapping over the top of his hip. Her forehead came to rest against him. She didn't say anything more as her arms wrapped around him. He melted into her embrace and let the emotions tumble around in him. After a long while he heard her whisper.

"Mike, are you still awake?"

"Yeah," he croaked out, his throat raw from the emotional outpouring. He swallowed a few times and sucked in and released a deep breath. He pursed his lips and then braved showing his face. He brought his arm down and turned his face off the pillow, coming nose to nose with Ginny. His arm rested gently on her shoulder.

"So where are we?"

"In your bed," he whispered and closed his eyes. He heard her chuckle quietly, then her hands were on both sides of his face. He opened his eyes.

"Mike," she said warmly. He nodded. She leaned in and kissed him. He let her slowly explore for a minute then he decided he wanted more, so he took it. Deepening the kiss and taking command. He rolled them so she was on her back, and he was draped over her, the kiss fiery and heady. His hands roamed her torso, sliding under her shirt, scooting along the skin of her ribcage. It was decision time, and Mike wasn't sure he was ready for the next step. He backed off, pulling his hand free and laying back down onto the bed next to her. She turned slightly, a confused look on her face.

"Sorry," he whispered and closed his eyes again. He didn't expect this to be such a roller coaster of emotion. He didn't want this to be completely physical. He didn't want this to be something they regretted. She seemed to sense his apprehension.

"What's the matter?" she asked quietly. There was no judgment in her voice and Mike knew that she would completely understand any decision that he made.

"I think we should wait…" he started. He tripped over his words and internally cursed himself for sounding like a prude. It wasn't that he didn't want to have sex, because he was fully aroused, but he didn't want to rush this. There was too much at stake for both of them, but more so for him. He couldn't afford to mess this up. Ginny nodded slowly as she studied his face. She sighed, then curled up against his chest.

"Okay," she breathed out as she kissed him at the neckline of his shirt.

"You're okay with that?"

"Yes," she whispered to him, snuggling in deeper. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed contentedly. "As long as you stay like this for now."

"That I can do," Mike said with a smile. He ran his fingers through her hair and down her back. He felt the fatigue of everything wash over him and he slowly slipped asleep with Ginny wrapped up with him in her bed.

Mike snapped awake. His groggy mind was confused. His body was warm, too warm. There was someone tangled with him. There was…what the heck was that? He opened his eyes and looked up into the face of Wyatt. Wyatt stared back at Mike with an almost angry look. He was trying to pull Mike's arms away from his mom. Mike released his hold on Ginny and rolled slightly. Ginny mumbled something in her sleep and attempted to close the gap between them, but Wyatt plopped down in the hole first. Mike couldn't help but chuckle. Wyatt put his back against Ginny and then pushed her back, making more room for him. He them burrowed into Mike's chest and wove his fingers into the hem of Mike's shirt.

"Hey, Buddy," Mike whispered as he ruffled the boy's hair. Wyatt blinked at him slowly. Ginny's head came up slowly and she looked around groggily. Mike reached his hand out and touched her gently. When she looked at him confused, he smiled, then leaned down and kissed the top of Wyatt's head. Ginny nodded in understanding, locking eyes with Mike. She scooted closer to the two and wrapped herself around Wyatt, stretching across to touch Mike as well.

"What time is it?" Ginny asked yawning. Mike glanced at the beside clock. It was still early.

"Just after four in the morning," Mike replied softly. Wyatt's fingers worked at Mike's shirt, and Mike watched him slowly drift back to sleep.

Ginny raised up and leaned over Wyatt, kissing Mike soundly. She leaned laid back down and draped her arm over Wyatt, her hand settling on Mike's hip. Mike stared at her as he leaned his head against Wyatt's. Ginny smiled at him.

"I could get used to this," Mike whispered. Ginny smiled at him, her hand sliding gently up his side, under his shirt, resting on his ribcage. Mike felt that dept charge go off inside him again. He could feel the heat from her touch. Then she yawned again and closed her eyes. Mike watched the two of them sleep for a while before felt himself fall asleep again.

To Be Continued…