Home Again
"Huh, so I guess your plan with the moon didn't work out," Edith commented as they saw it return to the sky at its full size, subsequently taking Vector with it.
"Apparently not," Gru said in agreement.
"We're sorry," Margo said. She actually sounded genuine about it. "We know you worked hard on it."
He looked at the three girls and told them, "It does not matter, it is not important, you are what's important. I know that now."
"You weren't lying, were you?" Margo asked. "You're not taking us back, are you?"
"Of course not," Gru answered as he navigated his ship to head for home. "I meant what I said. You girls are going home with me."
"Hooray!" the three girls exclaimed as they hugged each other in excitement.
"Wait a minute," Edith said. "All our stuff's back at Miss Hattie's house."
"My unicorn!" Agnes exclaimed with wide eyes and a pout.
"Okay, okay, dis is not a problem," Gru said, "we'll simply take a little detour and pick up your things."
"We can't go back!" Margo said. "You told Miss Hattie you didn't want us anymore."
"That was a mistake."
"But she'll never let you adopt us again," Margo pointed out.
Gru's eyes widened as that realization sunk in. After their last meeting, no indeed.
"Dis is still not a problem," he assured the girls, "I will think of something."
Thinking...thinking...
"Anything yet?" Edith asked.
"I'm working on it," he answered.
"How about now?" Agnes asked hopefully.
"Not yet," Gru answered, trying not to lose his temper. He was a brilliant super villain, so this should've been easy as mud pies to figure out.
"Now?" Margo added. This time Gru suspected she was just trying to get his goat. But with the three of them together, it worked. They all started bombarding him with the same question over and over, it was as bad as if they were asking 'Are we there yet?'
"Gah!" he exclaimed, "you three calm down, you're worse than a pack of..." Gru picked his head up and his eyes lit up as an idea occurred to him. "Light bulb."
"Hello Miss Hattie!" the three girls cheerfully announced as they nonchalantly entered the orphanage and smoothly glided past the front desk and towards their room.
"Hello girls," the overweight matron of the house responded listlessly, hardly even looking up from her magazine.
"We're just getting our stuff and we're going, okay?" Margo asked, running off before the answer ever came.
That got her attention. Miss Hattie did a double take and stood up.
"Going where? Your recital is over."
"Going home with me," Gru answered as he entered the front doors with a big cheery grin on his face. "Hi, remember me?"
Miss Hattie turned to Gru and scowled at him with eyes that reminded him of Kyle, and he shrunk back momentarily.
"Oh," she said dryly, "it's you again. The last I checked, you returned the girls."
"Yes, technically I did," Gru responded, "it was...technical difficulty, failure to communicate...but that's all cleared up and I'm taking the girls back with me, okay? Okay, good day, have a nice life."
"Not so fast Mr. Burro," Miss Hattie said mockingly. "You terminated any rights to these girls, and I for one am not going to stand by and let you-"
"Freeze ray!" Gru loudly and quickly announced before aiming his weapon at the rotund woman and pulling the trigger.
Miss Hattie got out a small scream but not for long before her whole head was encased in a block of ice, making her too top heavy and she fell on the floor.
Gru chuckled fiendishly and turned and opened the door and called out, "Okay guys, come on in."
The minions made an assortment of excited noises as they all ran into the orphanage, several made a beeline for Miss Hattie's computer and impatiently fought with each other to get control of the keyboard.
"Goodbye, Miss Hattie!" the three girls called cheerfully as they skidded down the hall turning the corner, their packed bags in hand.
They came to a sudden stop and all jumped up to hug Gru.
"Come on, girls," he told them as he turned around and walked out the door with them in his arms, "let's go home."
"Unbelievable," Mr. Perkins shook his head and sighed in disappointment. "My own son, all he has to do is get one lousy shrink ray, and beat that boob Gru to steal the moon, can he even do that right?" He shook his head again in answer. He threw his hands up and announced, "It's official, Victor is no longer my son, I have no children."
There was a knock on his front door.
"Now who could that be?" he asked himself as he headed over to it. He unlocked the door and opened it up and started to say, "Yeessss?" but barely got the first letter out before he was pummeled by a stampede of something, he didn't know what. The next thing he knew he was on the floor covered in foot prints and shoe treads of all sizes and styles, he looked and saw a gaggle of girls of all ages quickly making a shambles out of his house, gleefully squabbling and giggling and getting into everything.
"What is the meaning of this? Who's responsible for this?" he demanded to know as he stood up.
"You are," a stern female voice said.
Mr. Perkins turned around and saw a plump middle aged woman with short hair and a permanent scowl on her face standing in his doorway.
"Who are you?" he asked, and pointed to the girls, "and what is that?"
"They're your new daughters," the woman answered as if she was explaining a simple concept to a moronic child. "Congratulations."
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
Miss Hattie took out a form and pointed with a pen and said, "This is the contract you signed adopting all the girls from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls."
"I never signed any contract!" he insisted, his whole face changing into a nice bright red.
"Mm-hmm, nice try," Miss Hattie replied. "This is your signature, and it was co-signed by your son."
"My...my...VICTOOOOOOOOOORRRRRR!"
20 girls of all ages, races and levels of hyperactivity pummeled Mr. Perkins, bombarding him with questions.
"Can we order pizza?"
"Can we watch TV?"
"Can we call you Daddy?"
"Where're we gonna sleep?"
"Do we get our own room?"
"Can we sleep with you?"
"Tell us a story."
"Where's the fridge?"
"Do you have video games?"
"Are you married?"
"Do you have a dog?"
"Will you take us to the circus?"
"Can I take piano lessons?"
"Can we go camping?"
"Can we go to the beach?"
"Can I have a pet monkey?"
"Why's your nose so fat?"
After a while it all became inane senseless chatter that rang in his ears and gradually made Mr. Perkins feel like he was losing his mind. As he was pulled down again by all the girls tugging him every which way, he bellowed to the heavens, "WHO DID THIS?"
"Seems like a pretty super villain thing to do to me," Gru commented with a mischievous grin. "And between you and me, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy."
Dr. Nefario stood beside him as they watched Margo, Edith and Agnes run into the house, and noted, "So, you had the minions forge Perkins' and Vector's signatures on the adoption papers...and he's now stuck with the rest of the girls, and the orphanage has been shut down?"
"That's right," Gru answered with a proud smirk.
"Well, I suppose this whole day wasn't a total loss then," the older man said. "It was a beautiful thing you did, Gru...but we're not telling anybody, are we?"
"Of course not," Gru replied with a shake of his head. "I have my super villain reputation to maintain, you know."
"Right," the doctor nodded. "Well, all's well that ends well and all that...back to the drawing board I suppose."
He walked away from Gru, then stuck his head back in the scene and asked, "Are you sure you can't use a dozen boogie robots?"
"I'm sure!" Gru said with an annoyed snarl.
"Right, okay," Dr. Nefario walked away again, then doubled back again, "Because I think they'd be good for-"
"No! No boogie robots!" Gru insisted.
"Spoil sport," Dr. Nefario grumbled as he walked away.
"Hey!" Gru called after him. "But that gives me an idea! Assemble the minions, we have a recital to prepare for."
