Asuka was wide awake now.
She had quietly opened her eyes slowly, taking in her new world. Asuka sat up and turned her back to him.
Shinji was entirely wrong in his guess about how she would act. She hadn't said a word to him.
There wasn't anything he could think of to say even. What could he even say?
Asuka and girls, in general, had confused him at the best of times, but he knew one thing. Asuka didn't like him saying sorry.
What could he say instead? It all involved, sorry.
'Sorry for doing that to you while you were in a coma and sorry for not trying to help you when you were torn apart by nine Eva's.'
He didn't know what to do, so he wouldn't do anything but wasn't that the issue the first time around?
Without any more ideas on how to proceed, he continued his thinking while he stared at Lilith's head. Fortunately, he didn't have to think about what to do next.
"How long have you been here?"
She didn't sound as mad as he thought she would've, given everything that's happened.
"Only one or two days, I think," he didn't want to try and push his luck by saying more than needed.
She was still sitting back, turned to him up, not looking at him, though. She hadn't even grabbed anything from the pile of food yet. The chips had been enough for him, more than enough for what he was doing, which was currently staring at someone he thought he once knew.
Time wasn't something he couldn't measure here, so he guessed by the number of times he fell asleep.
If one were into awkward silences, this would be the perfect place for them. Shinji, however, was not one of those people.
"We need to get some blankets. You're going to freeze out here."
While understanding her thinking like that, personal care wasn't at the forefront of Shinji's mind.
"What about you?"
It was a valid concern, he thought. Asuka was only wearing a sundress.
"Did you forget? I'm from Germany this weather is nothing. Besides, I've been through a lot worse with you by my side," she had a bit of pride when she spoke, but there was still a resounding emptiness in her voice.
Not awaiting any retort, she stood up and turned to him.
He saw a joyful face that he hadn't seen since Over the rainbow.
"Truth be told, I would like something comfier to sleep in."
It was a good cover.
"Well, lead the way you've been here longer."
He stood up and did just that.
Walking on the sand was comforting strangely. It moved under Shinji's foot from the weight like it assured him he was still there.
At the current moment, he was following to the side of his previous tracks from the gas station.
Asuka hadn't said a word to him since they left. Shinji didn't know if that was a good sign, so he didn't press his luck.
After more walking, he found his way onto solid concrete, the cracked earth remaining.
Instead of sand giving way to prove he was still there, it was the subtle click of Asuka's red shoes on the asphalt.
It wasn't a comforting sound. He didn't know why it wasn't. Shouldn't he be happy that he wasn't alone anymore?
Shinji didn't raise any complaints, though he wouldn't.
A store was in sight, and it looked to be a furniture store. They'd probably have something for them to use.
They didn't bother moving any faster, and they had all the time in the world.
After more walking, they finally arrived at the front doors, which were their first issue.
They were automatic, and there was no power.
In the middle of figuring out what to do, Asuka leaned up against the glass pane beside the door and looked at him.
"Break it open."
He couldn't do that because this was a store, a public store!
"No ones around, idiot, and you need them to survive, right?"
She wasn't wrong, and the mumbled 'yeah' was good enough for her.
Why didn't she do it, though?
"I'd love to break those doors open, but I'm still a bit tired, so you should instead."
Breaking into a store takes some strength, though. Shinji frankly didn't have power.
How could he break in then?
A glance around showed a cart he could use to ram the door. Asuka was watching this and saw what he had planned and smirked.
She approved if the look she gave him when he glanced back at her was anything to go off of.
He couldn't believe he was going to do this. It was a crime! When someone found out that he did this, they'd arrest him—jogging his way over to the cart and aligning it with the automatic entrance, and he paused, slightly too long for Asuka.
"C'mon
moron, are you scared someone will get mad for a little breaking and entering?"
The quick discomfortable filled glance Shinji gave to the side probably gave her the answers she needed.
"Oh, come on, breaking and entering isn't the worst thing you've done now?"
The worry and fear piling up inside his gut fell away to be replaced by shame and guilt.
No more words were spoken after that, and Shinji couldn't refuse the truth, now could he?
Shinji pushed the cart with all he had and raced towards the door without further notice.
There was a crash, some more crashing
and a bang, But he didn't know what happened after the second crash.
Shinji did know that the floor was uncomfortable, and the pieces of glass around him that he could see in the dark were alarming. It was dark, and that meant he made it inside somehow.
"You're awake. Get enough rest? You were out for quite a while, and I don't know how you managed to land like that. But I, in my infinite generosity, let you rest. You look like you needed it."
He must've landed pretty hard, and there was a throbbing sensation in his entire head. It was just another of the many things he would let himself suffer through purposely.
After he stood up, Shinji started looking around for some blankets, brushing what little glass remained on him. That's what Asuka wanted them to come here for, after all.
However, it was dark, not dark enough that you couldn't see, the sunlight was reflecting in well enough, but it was dark enough that Shinji kept tripping on things on the ground.
Asuka laughed each time he did so, a double-sided coin.
She was laughing again; that was a good thing, right? But she laughed at him, and he didn't enjoy her laughing at his misfortune.
"No wonder so many people got hurt in your first sortie. You're so uncoordinated!"
The laugh sounded like a cackle right about now. Shinji couldn't raise his voice at her, though, not after everything.
It was a punishment he would let fester till it ended.
There wasn't much more between the glancing down aisles and listening to Asuka laugh whenever he tripped, which was quite often.
Finally arriving at some part of the store that had blankets, he didn't even bother asking which one she wanted. Shinji took two and made his way out of the store, tripping only once.
Halfway through the walk back, Asuka was the one to speak up.
"What did you see…in there?"
In the store?
"Nothing, it was too dark. That's why I was tripping so much."
A few moments passed before Asuka spoke up again to tell him that the store was not what she was talking about.
"Not the store, you moron, the sea. That other place."
What did it show him? It led him entirely too much, yet only what he had wanted to see.
"I saw a lot of things. None of it was real, though, so I came back."
That must have been what Asuka was asking about. She didn't say anything else on the way back to the beach.
Neither of them spoke up. Shinji had been carrying both blankets up till now, but one beside the food pile they had and then walked quite a distance before putting his down and laying on it.
Asuka must have been telling the truth about not being cold in this weather. She didn't touch the blanket Shinji gave her.
It didn't matter in the end. Shinji was tired and wanted to sleep.
"Shinji, you did many bad things, but I think you can redeem yourself slowly if you keep doing what you're doing."
Doing what? Punishing himself, not taking personal health into account, and suffering?
Isn't that what he was doing before she made him do something about being cold? At least he was right about something. The road ahead to forgiveness was filled with repentance.
"I'll do it, Asuka. I know that what I did was wrong and that I may never redeem myself, but I have to try."
It was too early to tell, but it slightly lifted his mood to know that there was a chance, however small it was.
"Could you throw me a water bottle, Asuka? I'm a bit thirsty from all the walking."
He waited and waited, but there was no response.
So he made his way over to the pile they had going and found a bottle, taking a quick peek over, making sure Asuka was alright.
She was. She just beat Shinji to the punch and already fell asleep.
She did, however, have some sand stuck to her face. Thinking nothing of it, he brushed it off.
Asuka deftly moved out of the way of his hand before he could touch her. She made sure to lock eyes with him and glared venomously.
"Don't touch me."
That glare held more disgust than any gaze she had given him before, and it rivaled the amount he had for himself.
"Th-there was some sand…it-it was stuck to your face, and I thought..."
Slowly and deliberately keeping eye contact the whole time, she wiped off the sand herself. When it was off, she laid back down.
Fearing for his life, Shinji returned to his blanket and laid back down, trying to catch some sleep even though it wouldn't be any good.
Shinji woke up the next day to the usual things he had gone to bed so far, only brighter.
Asuka was still beside the pile of food and water, and he could see her hair.
The sea was still red, and Lilith's face was partially submerged.
Shinji was still tired.
However, the older man in a Nerv uniform sitting a few feet away from him was something new.
