Chapter 5 : Tears
Casting a silencing charm, he let his frustration out for the first time. "I hate you, Voldemort! I HATE YOU!" Never did he know that Harry was within the range of his silencing charm.
To say Harry was taken aback at what he heard was an understatement. In fact, he was astounded. True, he did suspect that Draco wasn't a willing participant of Voldemort's activities, but he would never expect Draco to shout his hatred towards his supposed Lord out in a public area.
Well, of course Harry felt the silencing charm conjured by Draco, but it was still too dangerous, right? He couldn't imagine the tortures and eventual death Draco will have to go through if someone on the Dark side heard him.
Nevertheless, Draco's accidental confession made things much easier for Harry. Now, he could approach Draco without the fear of stepping into a trap. To be frank, there was still a slight nag at the back of Harry's mind that the whole situation he found himself in was a very precisely laid plan, but he dismissed the thought quickly. It took too much of a coincidence for him to be here. The probability that this was a trap was close to zero, and Harry was not willing to let Draco drown because of his selfishness.
Making up his mind, Harry arranged his steps to the dungeon. He still had five minutes before he would be late for Potions, and no one in their right mind would actively try to trigger their volatile Potions Master. After all, a normal Severus was a dungeon bat, while an angry Severus was a sadistic beast, to the very least.
Harry's feelings were a mixture of relief and worry. He was of course extremely relieved that his fellow classmate was not completely lost to the Dark side yet, but he was also afraid that Draco might reach his breaking point soon. If he reached the point before Harry or anyone could offer help, he would either willingly turn to the Dark side, or even worse, try to end his life. Despite Draco being Harry's enemy for the past five years, Harry would not want to see that.
"Potter, late again?" Severus' silky voice rang in his ears. He snapped out of his reverie. A glance at the clock in front of the classroom informed him he actually had one minute to spare. "Almost late, sir." Harry replied, a little sarcastically.
To his surprise, Severus did not address his lack of respect, nor deduct points for being 'late', which was what he would usually do. In fact, he seemed a little distracted and his brows creased, betraying his poorly concealed anxiety. With a pang, Harry understood that his professor was worried for his godson. A quick glance around the room confirmed Harry's suspicion that Draco was not yet there for class. Harry wondered how much Severus knew about Draco?
Wordlessly, Harry slipped through his professor and took a seat beside Ron. "What happened, mate?" Ron mouthed him. "Later," he mouthed back. He really did plan on discussing the issue with Ron and Hermione. After all, he wasn't really breaking Draco's confidence as he didn't have it in the first place. Ron wasn't pleased with Harry's answer but he dropped it when Severus sent a glare in his direction.
Draco never turned up for the lesson.
Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting at the couch beside the fireplace in Gryffindor Tower. They were the only ones in the room as their fellow housemates were all taking advantage of the brilliant weather to be outdoors. Settling themselves, Hermione began to address the issue they were there for.
"So Harry, what happened just now? The only thing we know is you rushing after Malfoy out of the Great Hall. And…I observed that you were eyeing Malfoy quite differently for the past few days, since we came back from Christmas, in fact. Anything we should know about?"
Harry had to give credit to Hermione for her sharp observation skills, as usual. He also appreciated the fact that Hermione didn't jump into conclusion and yelled at him for keeping secrets. Gathering his thoughts, Harry started recounting the events he witnessed, both as himself and through visions, to his two best friends.
Ron was gaping at Harry like a goldfish when Harry finally ended his tale. "You…you are telling me that, Malfoy, wasn't da…dark?" he sputtered. When Harry gave a slight nod, Ron stood up and declared solemnly that "I will never believe it!" before sinking back into his couch when Harry didn't burst out laughing that the whole thing was a joke.
Always the logical mind of the group, Hermione directed them back to their initial discussion. "So…you are worried that Draco will turn dark eventually if he doesn't receive help, right? Thus our mission now is to…help him." Hermione's eyebrow furrowed in the way they always did when she was in thought. "The problem is…how?"
Harry barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, our issue here is how to help Malfoy," he repeated sardonically. "Hey, there's no need to be sarcastic, I'm just trying to clear my mind!" Hermione said, feigning indigance. "Of course, my dear advisor," Harry played along. Soon, the three of them were laughing out loud, with Ron even rolling to the ground. However, the mood became somber quickly as they recalled their discussion.
After some time of brainstorming, Hermione came to a not constructive at all conclusion, that is, Harry should confront Draco. As if Draco would willingly 'talk' with Harry about his problems. When Harry said so, Hermione became frustrated and snapped, "why don't you ask Dumbledore then? He would have provided you with a myriad of solutions by now."
It was intended as a retort, but the more Harry thought of it, the better this 'plan' sounded. Okay, it didn't qualify as a plan, but still, it might work. That was why Harry found himself trekking to Dumbledore's office hours later, reprimanding himself for not taking extra clothing despite the cold night.
The day passed blurrily for Draco. He skipped Potions but attended Transfiguration and Charms. He could trust Severus not to dig into his absence, at least in the public, but he would be damned if Professor McGonagall or Flitwick made a scene for him not attending class. The last thing he wanted was for the whole school to know his issue. Damn Slytherin pride.
So, Draco relied on his muscle memory to get through the day, and surprisingly, no one made a fuss of it. "Of course no one knew, do you think people really cared about you?" Draco found himself repeating the same words in his mind. He could not afford to show weakness right now. He needed to stand on his own two feet. The first step to do so? Acknowledge that help would never come. Despite it being necessary, the revelation still hurt.
Disgusted at himself for wallowing in self-pity, Draco decided to make use of his free time before dinner to try fixing the cabinet. It was almost functioning. His parents would be free and he could leave the world of pain and angst forever. Draco rejoiced at the thought as he valiantly deterred his thoughts away from the harm his success might bring to the Wizarding World.
Arriving in front of the Room of Requirement, Draco did what he usually does, paced back and forth three times, thinking "I need access to the Vanishing Cabinet…I need access…" However, the door to the Room didn't materialize. Sighing, Draco settled himself at a hidden corner, waiting for whoever was using the room to leave.
His patience paid off when a freshly shagged couple from Hufflepuff groped their way out, laughing and planting kisses on each other. "Only brainless Hufflepuffs who are oblivious to the outside world still have the mood to enjoy sex when the world is at the border of crumpling," Draco thought, sneering slightly. The irony was he couldn't help hoping to be a Hufflepuff now. In fact, what would he not trade to have his parents and normal life back?
Standing up and leaning slightly to the wall for support, he shook his numb legs before repeating the procedure for the room to admit him. Without wasting time, he walked straight to the cabinet and started working on it.
"Yes!" Draco pumped his fist in the air in celebration. After months of hard work, the cabinet was finally restored. And that meant his parents would be having their lives back. He tuned off the voice of doubt asking him why Voldemort would keep his promise. Now, he savored in the delight and satisfaction for being able to spare his parents from tortures. That's all he wanted and needed.
Clearing his tools, Draco turned to leave. He would inform the Dark Lord of this breakthrough immediately. He was reaching for the doorknob when a loud explosion sent him sprawling to the ground. His head banged painfully on the floor, and blackness overtook him.
Several seconds, or maybe hours later, Draco didn't know, he found the ceiling of the room swarming into focus. He forgot what he was doing there for a moment before memories rushed back. Panicking, he ran to the cabinet, only to find it smashed into pieces. There was no way he could fix the cabinet from the ruins.
A loud sob wrecked through his body. It contained all the anguish, the fear, the devastation that Draco tried his best to contain for the past few months. Now that it broke out of the lid, Draco could do nothing to control it. All he could do was turn, and run away from the wreck. Away from the wreck of the cabinet and away from the wreck of what he used to call life.
He couldn't see where he was going, so he just prayed to the heavens that no one saw him in this state. But of course, he's Draco, so none of his recent wishes would come true right? That was why he bumped head first into another student. He murmured an apology and turned to go again, when a warm hand gripped his and emerald orbs bore into his.
Harry was just passing the Moaning Myrtle's toilet when he saw a blond haired figure turn around the corner and sprinted directly towards him. He hadn't reacted when the blur collided with him. "Sorry," the apology was so soft that Harry barely heard. Even so, it was a familiar voice. Someone he knew, Slytherin badge, blond hair. It didn't take a second for Harry to put the pieces together. Malfoy.
When the boy now identified as Draco Malfoy tried to run away in the opposite direction, Harry's seeker reflexes acted. Holding Draco's hand firmly, he observed the pale face of the-son-of-known-death-eater-but-appeared-to-be-on-the-Light. Tear tracks showed clearly and his pupils were dilated. Faint tremors were covering his skin. Sensing that Draco was hyperventilating, Harry did the unthinkable. He dragged the distraught boy into the toilet and embraced him.
Draco stiffened, then started to push against Harry, but the latter held on. Minutes later, the fight seeped out of Draco's body as he leaned minutely closer to the warm body of Harry, who reciprocated the action.
"Hey, what's wrong, M-Draco?" The soft and soothing voice of Harry's rang in his ears. The former was now gently rubbing circles at Draco's back. The comforting gesture was very much appreciated as Draco felt the tension leave his body a little by a little. However, that didn't stop his tears from overflowing out of his eyes.
Harry was at a loss when Draco couldn't stop crying. His experience of consoling a boy was close to none, well, it was actually none. Still patting Draco, he decided to make a joke. "Hey Prince of Slytherin, what would your cronies think if they saw you in this state?" Maybe Draco was more familiar to taunts?
He was proven wrong when Draco started trembling and his sobs became louder. "Okay, not a right thing to say then…" Harry muttered darkly to himself. After running through a series of approaches in his head which were all likely to cause disaster, Harry resorted to sitting in silence. Draco would stop eventually, he guessed, or rather, he hoped.
His hopes rarely came true, but this one did, thank Merlin. Draco shifted uneasily against Harry when he finally regained control over his emotions. Sensing Draco's embarrassment and discomfort, Harry let him go, and the former scrambled to get out. "Sorry, Potter…" he muttered for the second time that night.
"It's nothing to be sorry about, Draco. Oh...you didn't give me permission to call you by your first name right? I forgot, sorry." Harry would have laughed out loud at Draco's shocked expression at any other time, but he knew better to do it now.
"You…you remembered?" The blond spluttered. "I just remembered," Harry corrected him. "I guess you had a great time tampering with my mind?" Draco smiled ever so slightly at Harry's second attempt at a joke. Harry found himself following suit.
However, he quickly schooled his expression into a solemn one. "Draco, what happened? And why didn't you tell anyone about it?" Harry asked, his voice laced with concern. "I just…don't want to tell anyone about it, okay? Just leave me alone, or even fight with me, like we did for the past years." Draco stood up shakily to leave.
"Would you really prefer it if I announced today's incident to the whole school?" Harry's question made Draco stop dead in his tracks. No, he didn't want the whole school body to know what a weak and pathetic loser he is. Turning around, he was about to threaten Harry when Harry cut in. "No Draco, I'm not going to do that," Harry stated, tiredly. Draco left out a sigh of relief. "With one condition. You are going to tell me everything that happened." Draco's shoulder sagged.
Could he really bear Harry Potter knowing his darkest secrets? But the other option, having the whole school know his secret, would be even worse, right? After debating internally for who knows how long, Draco strengthened his resolve. He needed to tell Harry. So, he started with a monotonous voice.
"It started when my father failed to capture you at the Department of Mysteries last year. Needless to say, the Dark Lord was furious. He started to suspect that my father was a spy, which he is." A gasp from Harry. Draco continued his story as if uninterrupted. "So, he arrived at Malfoy Manor one night, breaching all our wards with a flick of his wand. He took my parents captive, and Malfoy Manor became his headquarters. He did nothing to me for the first week. But the second, he gave a mission. An impossible mission to bring Death Eaters into Hogwarts. My reward? My parents' freedom."
"Initially, I didn't want to do it. My father always told me not to join the Dark side no matter the circumstances since I was young. So, he brought me to my parents' cellar. Made me watch him torture them for hours. They screamed until they fainted, then he would revive them, and restart the procedure again." Tears were pouring down Draco's face again. Harry's strong hand on his shoulders was the only thing holding him together.
"After a week, I couldn't take it anymore. I gave in. But I would still hesitate sometimes. So he set a trap. I killed an innocent girl. There has been no turning back since then."
"I know. I'm sorry, Draco." Harry's eyes were red-rimmed too. His classmate shouldn't have to go through all this. It was unfair. It was his fault. He should have defeated Voldemort earlier. My fault…
"You couldn't have done anything. It was not your fault, nothing to be so…Wait! You said you knew?"
"Yes. It saw you torturing the girl through Voldemort. One of my visions," Harry explained. "Should've done something earlier, sorry."
"Already told you I don't blame you, not your fault," Draco replied.
The two boys sat together in companionable silence, both contemplating their pasts and future.
A/N : Do you like the first part of my story? Reviews please!
Next in Sectumsempra...A new-found friendship between Harry and Draco
