"I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride."
Teresa's breath hitched in her throat. Her hands shook where they rested in James'. But her smile never dimmed. When he leaned in she met him halfway. And as their lips touched she felt the first tear fall. James noticed- she knew he did. Because when he pulled away, his eyes were empty. His hand came up and gently wiped her tear away.
The audience thought it was sweet. They thought her tears were of joy. The audience was wrong. But Teresa kept smiling. She let herself lean into James' touch. Because it had to look real. They had to look in love. James' hand slid down her arm to hold hers as they turned to leave the chapel. He had his acting smile on- the one she saw that first day, at the airport. She didn't understand how anyone could believe it was real.
But people saw what they wanted to see.
They left the chapel and James opened her car door for her. This felt normal- the first thing that had all day. She watched him walk around the car and get in. She turned and smiled at the guests who had followed them out, hoping she looked happier than she felt. But Teresa couldn't stop the sigh of relief when James pulled off and they turned the corner.
Then the true weight of what happened settled over her. She was married- legally married- to James. She was still grieving for Guero- still in love with Guero- but now she was someone else's wife. She had dreamed of this day. When she was little her mother would tell her stories about beautiful dresses and flowers, music and promises of love.
Then she had met Guero. The faceless man she had dreamed of when she was a child became Guero instead. There had been many nights that Teresa had fallen asleep with images of laughter and dancing and Guero holding her hand. But she never thought her wedding day would be like this.
There was music. There was food. She wore a lovely dress. But there was no laughter. And the promise that James had just made was nothing more than a way to further Camila's business. Teresa's vows were just as empty. But she had kept a smile on her face. She had let her tears fall and pretended to blush when the audience thought they were happy tears.
James knew better. He knew her. And even now when it was over and they were alone his eyes were still empty. It was strange, looking into his eyes and seeing nothing. It was not something Teresa was used to. James' eyes said all the things he didn't say with words. His worry, his anger, his pain- it was all there to see if you looked. But not now. And somehow that made this day even worse.
They had come a long way from her first day in America. They had learned to trust each other. But now, with one order from Camila, that was gone. It left Teresa unbalanced, feeling lost with the one person she had thought she could rely on in this. She imagined what Brenda would say if she were here. She wondered how different this would feel if had Guero been at the altar where James had.
She watched the city pass by through her window. She didn't want to go back to Camila's safe house. She didn't want to listen to the woman gloat and preen over how well things were going. No, Teresa just wanted somewhere quiet to pull herself back together. The car turned down a back road and she turned to look at James.
"It's a short cut to Camila's."
She wasn't surprised he knew what she was going to ask before she asked it. They had worked together long enough by now. She didn't turn back to her window though. Instead she watched the road in front of her. She saw a small house up ahead, pale yellow paint with white trim. James slowed down as they got closer. She turned to him as he pulled into the driveway. "Why are we here?"
He turned the car off and got out. Teresa followed him, not caring that the train of her dress was dragging in the dirt. She waited at the bottom of the stairs as James pulled a key out of his wallet. He opened the door and stepped in. Teresa waited, she knew he was making sure it was clear before she came in. The sudden thought that Guero wouldn't have done that came to her. She pushed it down.
James reappeared and motioned for her to come in. "Camila wants us to stay here until things calm down. Give this whole thing some credibility." Teresa simply nodded. It wasn't like she had a choice- neither of them did. He motioned for her to follow him as he gave her a tour of the house. It was simple, but nice. It was the kind of house she'd have wanted with Guero.
She listened as James told her about the weapons cache in the basement. She noted the shed at the edge of the property that had a spare car and could be accessed from a tunnel leading from the basement. He showed her where weapons were hidden in each room. Then finally he left her alone to pull suitcases she hadn't known were there out of the car.
"Camila had all new stuff bought for you." Of course she did. Camila liked to control every detail- why should Teresa's wardrobe be any different. Then she caught what James had said. Camila had bought clothes for her. She turned a questioning look towards James. "I just packed my shit before I went to the chapel." She nodded. She didn't know why it had mattered to her in the first place.
James carried the bigger suitcase to the master bedroom and set it on the bed. Then she watched as he went to a door across the room and opened it. It went into the second bedroom. And she watched as James dropped his battered duffle bag onto that bed. She didn't want to ask, but she knew he wouldn't bring it up if she didn't. "Aren't we going to share a room?"
James paused for a moment- so briefly that if she hadn't been looking for a reaction she wouldn't have noticed. Her eyes dropped to his left hand and watched the movement of his thumb as it rubbed across his fingers. "It's what Camila expects. But we both know what this is. I'm not going to make you uncomfortable in your own space."
Teresa let out the breath she had been holding. She wasn't surprised. She knew James- knew the way he dealt with people. But she couldn't help feeling relieved. She trusted him, they worked well together, and maybe there was something else lying beneath the surface. But she wasn't ready to look at it yet. She still wanted to find a way out of Camila's world. She still loved Guero too much to want anyone else. So she wrapped her arms around herself and nodded. "Thank you, James."
She slipped back into her room and closed the door between them.
Camila had come over.
She brought Pote with her. And the wedding gifts from the reception James never drove them to. Teresa knew she was angry- embarrassed that the bride and groom hadn't shown up to their own wedding reception. But Teresa didn't' care. The marriage wasn't real and Camila was good at lying to people. Still, Teresa watched carefully as Camila spoke with James on the porch.
"Teresa." She turned at the sound of Pote's voice. The older man stood before her, watching her closely. She knew why. He was thinking of Guero and Gato and the day they chased her through the streets. He was thinking of Epifanio using her as a piece in his own games. "You don't have to stay here. We can run."
But she knew they couldn't. She couldn't afford to have Epifanio and Camila chasing her. And she didn't want to put James in that position. They'd been through too much. She shook her head as she rested her hand on Pote's arm. "I'll be fine, Pote." She turned back to the window. "James isn't like Gato. And he has no reason to do what Guero did." Pote let out on unconvinced grunt, but didn't argue.
The door opened and Camila stepped inside, James right behind her. "Teresa, James," the woman said. "The ceremony was lovely. I almost believed you two were in love." It took all of Teresa's willpower not to react. She wouldn't give Camila the satisfaction. "Now that this has been settled, business can continue. In three months we will reach out to the Sepulveda family."
James glanced at her for a moment before looking away. This was the first time they had been in the same room since they got here. She almost wished they'd had a chance to talk first. But there wasn't anything to talk about. They were married. It was part of a job. Now they just had to play their parts until the time to act came. She looked at Pote and saw him watching James. Whatever he was seeing- he wasn't happy about it. But Teresa pushed it aside.
Business came first.
Camila turned to face Teresa, a smug smile on her face. "I know that you two are close," she said. "I need that- it's why I chose you two." Teresa bit her tongue in disgust. "But you need to be closer. In public and in private. So take this week off. A honeymoon of sorts. Because when you come back, there will not be a moment where you two aren't madly in love with each other. Understood?"
Again Teresa's eyes found James'. Again she watched for his reaction. But this time there was none. Straightening suddenly he walked to stand beside her. She watched him face Camila. "We know what to do, Camila. The job will get done." The confidence in his voice both broke and soothed Teresa and she couldn't understand why.
The older woman picked up her handbag from the table. Her face losing the amused sneer that had been there before. In its place was the cold expression that spoke of how powerful this woman was. "Pote, let's go." She turned towards the door, heels clicking against the hardwood sharply. "We'll leave the newlyweds to their evening." Then she and Pote were gone.
James stood in front of the locked door. He looked at her for a long moment and she did the same. It was really starting to sink in now. The sun had set, Camila and Pote were gone. It was just the two of them in this house- alone. It was their wedding night and neither of them knew what to do or say to the other. He ran a hand down his face the way she'd noticed he does when he's anxious. "I'm gonna go to bed. Pote brought you a plate from the reception if you're hungry."
She watched as he headed upstairs. He didn't look back. Turning towards the kitchen Teresa thought about her wedding night- the one she had dreamed about. There would be wine and candles. She would be wearing lingerie instead of leggings and a t-shirt. Guero would carry her up the stairs and into their bedroom- the bedroom they would share. It would be warm and light and full of love. She would be happy.
Instead she placed the plate Pote had brought into the microwave. She sat at the island and ate her food in silence and alone. And when she went upstairs there would be no wine, no candles, and no man who loved her ready to hold her. No, there would be an empty room, in a strange house, with cold sheets. She stabbed her fork into a slice of cake.
"Congratulations, Mrs. Valdez," she whispered.
Teresa walked into the house. It had been two months since Brenda died. Two months of living with Camila and acting as her business partner. Things were…okay. Camila's business was growing and Teresa was learning more from her- even things she didn't want to know. Pote had settled in. Although it was easier for him- he was used to working for the Vargas family.
She quickly went to her room, dropping off the few things she'd bought while she was out. She preferred to shop for herself instead of letting Camila's maid do it. The woman always watched too closely and Teresa didn't need anyone else reporting on her to Camila. Setting down her bags she went back downstairs.
Teresa made her way towards Camila's office. She wanted to talk about moving things forward with King George. Things had been going well so far, but they would need more from him soon if the deal with the Colombians came through. She stopped outside of the closed office door and tried to organize her thoughts. But that became impossible.
"This is more than fucking business, Camila!"
Teresa stepped back. She had heard James angry before, but never like that. He didn't yell- it wasn't his style. Yelling showed too much emotion- too much vulnerability. And that fact was what made her open the door without knocking. Something was wrong and if it was about business like Camila seemed to be saying, then Teresa wanted to know.
She took two steps into the room and stopped. Camila stood behind her desk, hands pressed flat against the wood as she stared James down. But what caught Teresa off guard was James. His fists were clenched tight as if he were holding himself back. His breathing was harsh and Teresa could see the anger clear on his face.
"What's wrong?" The sound of her voice seemed to startle Camila, but Teresa knew James had been aware of her from the moment she opened the door. Camila turned to face her, but Teresa kept her eyes on James. "What happened?" She took a step back to close the door before moving into the room more fully.
But James still wouldn't look at her. His eyes were locked onto Camila's every move. And Camila, Teresa could see, was trying not to let it show that she was bothered. The older woman let her usual smirk lift her lips. She straightened behind her desk as she turned back to James. "Teresa, please, sit," she said, waving her hand towards the seat across from her. Teresa shook her head. If Camila was upset, she didn't let it show.
"This isn't happening, Camila." James' voice was low and rougher than usual.
Slowly Camila ran her finger along the wooden desk. Her movements were calculated and full of confidence that hadn't been there when Teresa opened the door. "You know," the woman started, "it doesn't have to be you who does this. I can choose someone else. Does that sound better to you, James?" The smirk turned into a true smile then- one that Teresa didn't like.
James' shoulders tensed more than they already had been. Teresa could see his left hand clenched into a tight fist, his knuckles going white as he held back his anger. Camila's eyes came to rest casually on Teresa and this time James' followed. She wrapped her arms around herself more tightly, suddenly feeling exposed. James shook his head slowly, anger and something else still coming off of him. "Fine," he said, eyes locked on Teresa. "I'll do it." Then he stepped away from the desk to lean against the far wall like he always did when there was business to discuss.
Teresa finally made her way to the chair Camila had offered. She sat on the edge, ready to get up and run. The feeling in her gut told her that whatever was going on between James and Camila wasn't good for her either. But she kept her face as neutral as possible. "So, what's happening?"
Teresa resisted the urge to turn around- to look at James- as Camila sat in her leather seat. It wasn't the first time that Teresa had noticed how everything in the room was to convey who was in charge. From the expensive material, to the paintings along the wall, the books on the shelves, and the massive desk with its high-back leather chair. It was all to show that Camila was strong and wealthy and powerful. And for the first time Teresa actually found herself intimidated by it all.
"We are going to be negotiating a deal soon. One with a very powerful family. Ignacio Sepulveda is a man who values family. And he won't work with me since Epifanio is being so difficult." Teresa let her confusion show on her face briefly. "He will work with a liaison of mine, provided they are happily married. And since you are my business partner, Teresa, I trust you with this responsibility."
Suddenly James' anger made sense. This wasn't just business. "Camila, you can't be serious…" But Teresa knew she was. She knew from the tension that had been suffocating the room since she walked in. She knew because James had yelled and he never did that. She knew because her heart was beating too fast for it to be a bad joke. "No one will believe we're married- not without an actual marriage certificate."
Her eyes went to James in panic and she wished they hadn't. His face told her everything even before he spoke the words. "There's gonna be a certificate. There'll be a license and a wedding and everything will be legit. Sepulveda checks shit like that." James hadn't even looked up as he spoke, but Teresa could see the apology mixing with his anger. He didn't want this. He didn't want this for her or for himself.
"Camila, you can't force us to get married- not legally married. Pretending is one thing, but this..."
Her words trailed off as Camila rose from her seat and strode around her desk to stand in front of Teresa. "You came to me, Teresa. You asked to be my partner in this business. And I accepted you." From the corner of her eye Teresa saw James take a half-step closer. But she was too focused on Camila and the hand that was suddenly resting against her cheek. "But make no mistake- you…and James, don't have a choice. One word from me and Epifanio will have you back in Culiacan before the sun has set. One call and your life ends."
Camila's thumb stroked Teresa's jaw gently, before she pulled away. She turned and moved back towards her chair, waving a dismissive hand in Teresa and James' direction. And for once the gesture didn't anger Teresa. Her mind could hardly process what she had just heard, or find a way out of it. So she didn't try. Instead she rose and walked out of Camila's office with as much confidence as she could find.
And every day after that was a blur- for two months.
Every day until the day she became James' wife.
She woke up in her bed the next morning.
It took her a moment to recognize where she was. It took her a moment to remember that she was in her house instead of Camila's. Then she remembered why and what it all meant. And she didn't want to be awake anymore. But she could hear someone downstairs, probably James. So she got up. She made her bed the way her mother had taught her- the way Guero had made fun of her for. Then she grabbed some clothes and headed into the bathroom.
She stayed in the shower longer than usual- partly because she could, but mostly because she wasn't ready to face James. She let the hot water beat down onto her tired muscles. She watched as droplets fell from the long clumps of hair hanging in her face. She tried to push the memory of Guero helping her shower out of her mind. She tried not to think of James' empty eyes the day before.
The water went cold. She turned the knob and stepped out on shaky legs. She gave herself one moment to wish that things were different. Then she dried off and pulled her clothes on. She left the bathroom and made her way down the stairs, following the sounds of running water and the smell of bacon.
James froze for a fraction of a second when Teresa walked into the kitchen. She pretended not to notice. "Good morning," she said as she slid into a seat at the small kitchen table. James nodded in return- like he always did. Somehow that made her relax the smallest bit.
She watched as he moved around, scrambling eggs in one pan while bacon cooked in another. She hadn't known that James cooked- even basics like eggs and bacon. The food had always been made by the girls who weren't working the morning runs. And James had always eaten what they made. He put the eggs and bacon on a plate just in time for the toaster to pop, and he grabbed both slices putting one on each plate.
She noticed as he carried the plates over that there was butter and jelly on the table already, along with forks and knives. "There's coffee in the pot if you want it." Teresa glanced in the directed that he gestured. "There are three of those. Another toaster, too." She looked back at James. His eyes were on his plate, but he wasn't eating.
"I remember my friend's wedding, everyone gave her quilts." James' eyes met hers for a second before going back to his plate with a nod. When he didn't say anything else, Teresa tucked into her food. It was good- not as good as Pote's but good. But she didn't say anything, though. They had never needed to fill their silences before. Neither of them liked to talk much, anyway. So the clink of forks on plates was the only sound.
James finished eating before she did. Teresa watched as he cleared his plate and began washing the dishes. She offered to do it, since he had cooked, but James just shook his head. By the time they were both done, the kitchen looked as clean and unused as it had the day before. There wasn't much to do. James had unpacked the wedding presents while she was sleeping. The house was already furnished, and they had unpacked their personal things already. And Teresa could only take so much silence- even from James. She turned to the stairs, ready to retreat back to her room.
"Teresa." She paused, her hand hovering above the railing. "We need to talk." She turned back to face the man she was legally bound to. He stood in the living room, his back resting against the doorframe. He looked so different from how she had seen him before. He looked tired- weighed down. She hated knowing she was part of that weight he carried.
She stepped over to him and leaned on the opposite side of the door. Their bodies mimicked each other's posture. "Like you told Camila, we know what we have to do." A bitter taste flooded her mouth as she spoke the other woman's name. She ignored it. "We have to be convincing and we will be." She forced more confidence into her voice than she actually felt, and she knew James could tell.
James ran his hand down his face with a sigh. Then he straightened his shoulders in that way that told Teresa he was about to say something she wouldn't like. "Convincing. Holding hands, convincing? Kissing in public, convincing? Nicknames, convincing? Because, as separate as I tried to keep things, people saw me with Kim. You saw me with Kim."
Teresa's mind went back to that day- the day he took her to Birdman's party. He had been light and open with Kim. She hadn't even recognized him as the person she knew. It had been a glimpse into James' world that she hadn't expected. And now they had to replicate that. She thought of how she had been with Guero. Always laughing, always smiling and touching and kissing. Suddenly she understood what James meant.
"We can come up with a backstory. We can get our lies straight. But after this week-" he took a deep breath. "Look, I need to know how much convincing you can handle." Teresa gave a slow nod. That was all she could do. Because, she wasn't sure what she could handle. She trusted James. She trusted him more when she remembered how hard he had fought Camila on this.
'It doesn't have to be you…'
Her eyes narrowed on the man in front of her. "Why did you agree to do this?" She hadn't realized that James had relaxed until the tension stiffened his muscles again. He put on a confused expression- one she didn't buy at all. "Camila said she'd choose someone else. You didn't have to agree. So why did you?"
James shook his head slowly, amused smirk pulling at his lips. "You don't get it," he said. Teresa tilted her head, a flicker of annoyance sparking at his attitude. "She wasn't going to pick Pote or Charger." She nodded, Teresa couldn't see Camila choosing someone that she had a connection to. "She wasn't gonna pick Lopez or Conner, either." Teresa knew those names- two guys who were soft, easygoing types. They were there for the thrill and quick money.
Then what James was saying, settled. Camila would have put her with someone who would hurt her. She would pick someone like Gato as a way to punish James for disobeying. Teresa could imagine what this morning would look like- what the night before would have been. She nodded slowly, eyes taking in the way James still hadn't lifted his head to look at her. It shouldn't be a surprise- it wasn't really. He had been protecting her since her first day in Dallas.
"So we make this real." Her heart ached as an image of Guero flashed across her mind. But she couldn't think of him. Guero was dead and she was alive. She was alive and she had to let go. She forced words past her lips. "I trust you. And I think you trust me, too. So if we kiss, we kiss. If we hold hands, we hold hands. I trust you, James."
She didn't love him- he didn't love her- but there was trust.
And that meant something.
