Guero was alive. Guero was in Dallas. Teresa couldn't believe it. It had been a week since he had walked into her hospital room and she still couldn't believe that he was there. She kept waiting to wake up and him be gone. She was still waiting for it all to disappear. But it wasn't. Every morning when she woke up there was a text from him waiting for her. Every day he would walk into Camila's safe house and take the seat next to her- the seat that James no longer used.

He was angry at her- Guero. She could see it every time she looked at him. He was angry that she had 'moved on', angry that she had married James. And she wanted to explain that it wasn't real. She wanted to tell him that Camila had forced her to do it- forced both of them. But…she couldn't. There had been something between Teresa and James from the beginning. Underneath her distrust and her grief, she had seen a man that was good. She had found a safe place in a world where safety was an illusion.

But she couldn't explain that to Guero. She couldn't explain that three months of living with someone and pretending to be in love made you see things about them. So she just kept quiet. When he rolled his eyes every time James spoke, she kept quiet. When he held her hand in front of Pote or Camila she didn't say anything. She kept everything down until she wasn't sure she could keep anything down anymore.

It was suffocating- the weight of his jealousy. It was something Teresa had never had to deal with before. There had never been any doubt about who her heart belonged to- who she belonged to. But now she was married to another man. Now she shared a home with another man. Now she was unreachable even though inches were the only thing separating them.

Her mind let go of thoughts of Guero as James walked in the front door. She had left Camila's before him, Something had happened between Pote and Guero and the tension was too much for her to handle. But she hadn't expected James to be back to soon. He had stayed out late every night since she got out of the hospital. And he left early every morning.

She pretended not to notice.

"Hey." She hated that she sounded so nervous. She had never been nervous around James- not since her first day. But she was now and he could tell. His eyes trailed over her the way they always did- checking for injuries. Then he nodded and turned toward the stairs. "James? Can we talk?"

His silence wasn't new, but it was different. Before Guero was a ghost haunting her, making her push James and whatever she could have felt for him away. Now Guero was alive and there and James barely looked at her. He spoke to her about business. Before he had at least asked how her day went, or if she wanted take out for dinner.

Pausing at the bottom step, James turned to face her. Teresa saw the neutral expression he wore. No different from any other day- except for his eyes. Something in his eyes told her he was bracing for something, waiting for a hit. That same something told her it wasn't a physical hit he was waiting for. James took a deep breath. "What's wrong?"

She almost flinched at the flat tone. She didn't. She took a breath of her own. Then, "I'm worried about you." James tilted his head and let his eyes drop. A flash of exasperation or annoyance crossed his face before he looked at her again. But she didn't let him say anything. "You're not sleeping enough. I can see it. And you won't look at me, or talk to me."

"Silence has never been a problem between us before."

She did flinch then. "I know Guero being back is…complicated." James' eyes met hers and she saw the emotion leech out of them. Emotion she didn't realize was there until it wasn't anymore. She took a step towards him. "Things are off between us. We can't afford that, James. What we do- I need to be able to count on you. And I need you to be able to count on me."

His nose scrunched with a sniff, but he nodded sharply. "You can count on me. I'm not gonna let anything happen to us." Teresa felt her nails dig into the flesh of her palm at James' words. The guilt she had felt while Guero was 'dead' came back, but now it was reversed. Because she knew James wasn't doing anything different from what he had always done. He was giving her space, following her lead, trying to make her feel safe and comfortable. "Look, we know what this is. Nothing's changed. Just… Be careful, Teresa."

He didn't wait for her to say anything. There was nothing she could say anyway. He was right. She did know what this was. And she knew why it was and what it could have been if she had made different choices. Teresa watched from her place as he climbed the stairs. The click of his door closing felt louder than it had before. It felt like she was losing something.

She didn't let herself think about what that something might be.


Teresa watched Camila. She watched her use Guero as leverage against James. Giving Guero jobs that only James should have. Questioning James and praising Guero. Teresa watched Guero smirk each time Camila put James down. And it made her chest tight with anger. Then she would watch as Camila fed James' distrust- reminding him that Guero was a rat. She listened as Camila spoke about the wedding and how beautiful Teresa had looked in her dress. She saw the way James wouldn't look at her and Guero did nothing but.

She hated it. She hated that Camila was using her against them. She hated that Camila was pushing James for a reaction and feeding every bit of jealousy that Guero had. Because it just made things harder- for all of them. James didn't come home anymore. Pote and Charger had no clue where he was most nights. Guero never left Teresa's side unless he was doing business for Camila- dangerous business, the kind that got you killed.

And Teresa… she couldn't breathe. Each time Guero walked out the door of the safe house, she panicked. Each time he was late from a delivery she heard Loya's voice telling her Guero was dead. Every time James came into a room she saw the exhaustion weighing him down. Every time he left she wanted to follow- to ask where he slept and if he was eating. But she couldn't because that wasn't her job. It was laughable, really. They were married, she was his wife, and yet she was the one person who couldn't ask him personal questions.

She sat on the sofa in Camila's house. Her tablet was in front of her, the numbers for the latest shipment waiting for her to go over them. The side door opened and Guero walked in. She felt the same burst of relief she always felt when he came back from a run. Her lips tipped up into a smile to mirror the one on his face as he walked over to her. "Hey, babe," he said as he sunk into the seat next to her.

Teresa turned back to her tablet. They weren't together- not technically- but Guero had fallen back into old habits. She ignored the part of her that said it was his way of claiming her as his. "How did it go?" Camila had sent him with Pote to deliver a shipment to their distributors. Camila had wanted to send him with James, but he hadn't shown up to Camila's yet. He still hadn't shown up even though the day was almost over.

"Aw, you know. Pote played mariachi the whole trip and glared every time I tried to say anything." He rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face. Somehow annoying Pote made him happy. But the smile faded as the door opened again. "Well look who decided to show up." Teresa turned and saw James heading towards them. "Finally decided to do your job, Cabron?"

Teresa took in the stiff set of James' shoulders and the dark circles under his eyes. "Guero, stop." She felt his eyes boring into her, but Teresa didn't look at him. She kept her eyes on James. He stopped beside the sofa, head bent so he could see the numbers on her tablet. "Are you okay?"

He didn't even glance at her. His eyes stayed locked on the tablet as he gave a sharp nod. Teresa wasn't sure if it was to her question or about what he saw on the screen. The quiet lasted for another moment before he straightened up and moved towards the hallway. "Lopez doesn't get a shipment this week. It's going to Johnson instead. Have Charger meet me at the warehouse for delivery."

"Me and Pote already did delivery, Cabron. You'd know that if you had bothered to do your job."

James paused, but didn't turn around. "I know what deliveries you made. Teresa, tell Charger to meet me for delivery." Then he was gone, footsteps fading as he moved deeper into the house. Teresa picked up her phone and called Charger. She felt Guero watching her again as she told the other man what James had said. Guero let out a huff as she hung up the phone.

"Why are you listening to him? He didn't even show up today." Guero ran his hand through his hair in frustration. But Teresa didn't say anything. Because no matter what Guero thought, she knew that James had gotten his orders straight from Camila. And whatever he had been doing all day was probably more important than deliveries. Guero just couldn't see past his own pride and jealousy.

Teresa picked up her tablet and stood up. "Look, just leave him alone, okay. He's not used to having to explain himself. He doesn't like to compete." The look on Guero's face told her that was the wrong thing to say. She hadn't meant it personally, she was talking about business. But she didn't correct herself- she didn't take it back.

She just turned and walked away.


Teresa had stopped sleeping the second week that James didn't come home. Her mind wouldn't let her. Her body couldn't fall into the rest that it needed. She kept thinking about the way things were before. Before the hospital, before the wedding- just, before. She thought of the way James had always been there. Even when she didn't want him around, he was there. He kept her safe. He taught her things that no one else bothered to teach her. And she trusted him.

That was the problem.

Teresa trusted him. He was loyal. He was smart. She had seen how far he was willing to go to keep her safe. She had seen how hard he fought to keep Camila's girls alive. She had seen him with Kim- soft and caring and warm. And somewhere in the midst of the chaos of finding her place in this world, Teresa had learned to trust James, she had learned to care for him.

But she had never stopped loving Guero.

Every day in her cage she had wished to be back with him. Even when she felt something for James creeping into her veins, she still wanted Guero. That hadn't changed in the eight months that she thought he was dead. But now he wasn't dead. Now she knew the truth. He had left her to pick up the pieces of the mess he'd made. Now she knew that he had turned to the Feds to save his own life. And she should be angry at him- she was. She should be disgusted by him and his betrayal- and she was. But more than any of that, Teresa still loved him.

Or maybe you just love who you thought he was. Maybe you love the life you had with him in Sinaloa.

That thought kept popping up. It haunted her at night when the house was too quiet and she felt the lack of James' presence in the room connected to hers. But it was easier to push away than the thoughts that she had about James. Those brought emotions that were too complicated to process. It brought emotions she felt guilty about needing to process.

It's not a real marriage. It was for business. You don't love him and he doesn't love you. There's nothing to feel guilty for.

But that wasn't completely true. Because she knew James had feelings for her- feelings he wasn't acting on for her sake. And she knew that if she had tried- if she had let herself go there- this could have been a real marriage. She knew that business wasn't the reason he agreed to marry her and she knew that business wasn't an excuse for why she hadn't filed for divorce after Sepulveda found out the truth. But mostly she knew that the reason she felt guilty was because she had told James the morning after their wedding that they would make it real- she said it and she meant it.

And then she pushed him away.


Teresa glanced over her shoulder as she ran, trying to see how close behind her Guero was. She could hear Brenda laughing at her from down the hall, and little Tony asking why Tia Teresa was running. A wide smile filled her face as she imagined her godson's confused face. But the sound of heavy footsteps made it drop a little.

She turned around again and crashed into a familiar chest. Guero's arms wrapped around her tightly as she screamed in surprise. "Ready to take that back, Babe?" The smirk on his face was ridiculously smug, but Teresa felt her smile widen at the sight of it.

"No. I'm right."

Her arms came up to drape over Guero's shoulders and she brought her nose up to brush against his. She could just make out Brenda explaining that she and Guero were crazy, and she could see Chino standing by the refrigerator laughing quietly. Her eyes went back to Guero. The smugness was gone, but the soft look she loved so much had taken its place. "You're damn lucky I love you, woman." She pressed a quick kiss to his pouting lips. "Yeah, yeah. It's gonna take more than that for me to forget you'd trade me for chocolate."

Teresa smiled wide and happy, "Only Belgian chocolate."


Teresa tried to fight back her smile. Guero had gotten back from a run early. He had just shown up at the house, smiling and tugged her outside and into the car. He hadn't let her ask any questions- well he had, but he hadn't answered any of them. And now they were in some mystery location with his hands covering her eyes and she tried not to trip while walking blind.

"You know I don't like surprises."

Guero laughed behind her. "No, I know you do like surprises." He said as he steered her around something she couldn't see. "You just act like you don't because you hate not knowing everything." Teresa opened her mouth to argue, but there was nothing to say. She could practically see the smug smile of Guero's face. "Yeah, I thought so, too."

Her hand came up to slap lightly at his arm. "You don't have to rub it in." Guero just dropped a quick kiss to the back of her head. As she was about to ask how much longer she had to wait for this surprise, Guero's hands fell away from her eyes. She blinked a few times to let her eyes adjust to the bright sunlight. Then all she could do was stare.

"Bought it a few weeks ago. Saw you looking at houses and I figured this one would be good for us." Teresa couldn't look away from the house in front of her. A soft, bright blue with pale yellow trim. A small garden that she would never use, but would love to look at. It looked so cozy and sweet. "I mean, it's a little small, but that's kinda why I thought you'd like it. Simple, ya know, but still nice." A part of her recognized that he was rambling, but it took her a moment for it to sink in because…

"I never thought I'd have this. I never- I never thought someone would do this for me."

Guero's arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her against his chest.

"Well, you've got me now. I'll always do this for you."