Thank you for your patience. Some answers...finally.
Chapter 5
"Your what?" Jarrod asked incredulously.
Adeline began to weep and Jarrod led her to a bench under a nearby tree.
"Apparently, when I was born, my father agreed to an arranged marriage between me and the son of another prominent family back in England. Since I was sent to live here, I was never told about it. From what little information my father has told me, my fiancé," Adeline choked out the word, "is ready to claim me as his bride."
Jarrod sat in stunned silence. He couldn't believe what she had just told him. His mind raced on, trying to comprehend what he had heard. Well, one thing was for sure, he thought to himself. She wasn't marrying this other man.
"We leave tomorrow. I've been busy packing."
Jarrod turned to Adeline, shock on his face.
"You're just going to go with them? Just like that?"
"I have to Jarrod. He's my father."
"He hasn't been in your life for twelve years, Adeline. Now he comes in and expects you to throw away the life you've built, to satisfy an agreement he made twenty two years ago. An agreement that you had no control over."
"What am I supposed to do, Jarrod? You're right in that my father hasn't been in my life, but he's here now. If I don't marry Cedric, my father will lose everything. Our lands have been in our family for five generations. I know you know the importance of family, Jarrod. I must do this."
Jarrod shook his head. He wanted to scream, to rail against what was happening. It was unfair. He was going to ask Adeline to marry him. He was going to live with her the rest of his life. Now she was going to be married to someone else. The thought of her being in someone else's arms sickened him.
"Adeline," he began. Adeline reached over and put a finger on his lips to keep him from speaking.
"The decision has been made, Jarrod. You can't say anything that I haven't already said to myself. I love you. I always will, that will never stop. But this is how it must be. And it would hurt me so much if you hated me. Please don't hate me, Jarrod."
Adeline began crying and Jarrod held her. He couldn't hate her. No matter what, he would always love her.
"Shh," he said after a moment. Adeline could tell by his voice that he was having a hard time controlling his emotions. "I don't hate you. I hate this situation and if I could think of a way to make it go away I would."
They sat in silence for several minutes, then Jarrod asked, "Will you go back to England?"
Adeline sighed and sat up. Jarrod offered her his handkerchief and she dried her tears.
"No. With our marriage, my father will come into possession of all of Cedric's family's holdings. Cedric is the last of his line. He was an only child, as was his father. He decided to make a new living here in America, so I think we'll live in New York. I didn't ask too many questions."
Jarrod placed his hand on Adeline's cheek and wiped away the tears that continued to fall. Even though her face was red and swollen from crying, Jarrod thought she was beautiful. He leaned in and kissed her, hating the fact that this would be the last time he would be able to do so.
When they parted, Adeline stood. "I need to get back and finish packing. I'm going to miss you, Jarrod. I love you."
Jarrod couldn't speak for a moment. He took Adeline's hand and kissed it.
"I love you, too," his words just above a whisper.
They walked back to the boarding house in silence. They embraced and then Adeline went inside. Jarrod slowly walked back to his apartment. He poured himself a glass of scotch and went to sit on his bed. He looked at the nightstand and saw the box that contained the ring. Tears came to his eyes and couldn't have stopped them from falling anymore than he could stop Adeline's departure.
He eventually fell asleep and when he awoke the next morning, was glad that he had the day off. There was no way he could have made it into the office. He didn't go out at all, but stayed in and either slept, or sat in a chair reliving his memories with Adeline. He wished her well and hoped that she would be happy. His mind went back to that night on the train when he had first held her in his arms. He wouldn't allow himself to think about how someone else would be doing that now.
Jarrod made it through that day and then took each day as it came. He threw himself into his work. Judge Stein noticed that something in his apprentice had changed, but didn't have enough of a personal relationship with him to feel the liberty to ask. Jarrod's work was as good, if not better than before, so he had no reason to complain.
A week after Adeline left, Jarrod received a letter in the mail. He recognized Adeline's handwriting and ripped open the envelope.
My Dearest Jarrod,
How I miss you. My mind's eye keeps seeing your hurt expression as I told you about Cedric. I wish with all my heart that it hadn't had to end this way. I would give anything to be in your arms right now. Please know that I love you and always will. But I want you to go on with your life. I know you'll meet someone else and fall in love with her. You are too special for that not to happen.
Maybe one day, our paths will cross again. I came across this poem a few days ago, and I just had to share the words with you.
There can be miracles,
When you believe.
Though hope is frail,
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles,
You can achieve.
When you believe,
Somehow you will.
You will when you believe.**
I believe in you, Jarrod. And I do hope one day, for this miracle for us.
Love,
Adeline
"So you did marry Cedric, then?" Jarrod asked, refusing to allow his mind to conjure up the mental pictures of Adeline and Cedric together. He couldn't define the emotion he felt. Jealousy, maybe?
"We did," Adeline answered softly.
"What happened to your father?" Jarrod asked.
"He died a year after we were married. I never really found out what happened. We received a letter informing us of his death and the lands were willed to Cedric." She closed her eyes briefly before going on.
"About two weeks before the wedding, I realized..."she looked at him, knowing that when she said it, she had to look him in the eye, "I realized I was carrying our baby, Jarrod."
Jarrod's eyes widened.
Before Jarrod could say anything, Adeline continued. "I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I finally decided to just go ahead with the marriage and then a month later would tell Cedric I was expecting. Let him believe the baby was his. But what I didn't know until after we were married, was that our marriage was to be in name only."
Jarrod, who had been staring at the fireplace as his mind tried to comprehend the fact he was a father, turned to Adeline.
"Cedric had been injured in a riding accident ten years before we were married. He was unable to perform...his husbandly duties. Our marriage was only to fulfill a contract between our families. Other than a very chaste kiss on our wedding day, Cedric never touched me in an intimate way. I knew I couldn't keep my secret forever, so I finally went to him and told him. He was livid. He had always been kind to me, but from that moment on, he couldn't look at me without contempt. He demanded to know who the father was. I didn't want to tell him at first, but he...he made me."
Adeline's eyes filled with tears. She hated the look on Jarrod's face. His eyes implored her to go on, to tell him everything.
"What happened, Adeline?" he asked, gently.
Adeline took a deep breath. She brought her emotions under control and then began again.
"Cedric refused to allow me to go out of the house after that. For the rest of our marriage, I was a prisoner in our home. He refused to have anything to do with me. Only my very basic needs were met. Not even those working for Cedric were allowed to talk to me. Once, one of the maids agreed to get a letter out to my father, but she was caught. I never found out what happened to her, but after that, no one would even look me in the eye. When it came time for the baby to be born, a doctor came to my room and delivered her."
"Her?" Jarrod asked.
"She was beautiful, Jarrod. I wasn't allowed to hold her. But the doctor, he had compassion on me and let me look at her. She reminded me so much of you. She had dark hair and I think she had your chin."
"What happened to her?"
Adeline began crying in earnest. Jarrod moved to sit next to her and placed his arm around her. Adeline sobbed for a few more minutes, then lifted her head.
"Cedric made the doctor take her away. He said he didn't want another man's child living under his roof. I was so distraught. I never guessed he wouldn't have allowed me to keep her. I just thought he would throw us out. But he was determined that I stay with him. Several weeks after the baby was born, the doctor came back to visit. He said he was checking to make sure I was doing all right. When he was sure we were alone, he told me that the baby had been put up for adoption and that if I ever got the chance, to come to him and he would try and help me find her."
"Did you ever try?" Jarrod asked, no censure in his voice.
"I wasn't able to, until now. Cedric died six months ago from a heart attack. On the day of his funeral, I was thrown out of his home, with only the clothes on my back. What Cedric didn't know, was I had been saving money off and on over the last several years. Whenever I could, I would put money aside. I usually had to steal it from him, since he never let me have any of my own. My trust fund from my Aunt was given to him when we were married and I never saw a penny of it. I had just enough to get out here and contact you."
Adeline turned to look at Jarrod.
"I want you to help me find our daughter, Jarrod. I need to make sure she's being cared for, that she isn't in some orphanage somewhere, wondering why her mother didn't love her enough to keep her." Adeline couldn't go on for a moment. She couldn't bear the thought of their daughter thinking that her parents didn't care for her. "I named her Meredith Victoria, after our mothers. I have no guarantee that the doctor kept that name, but that is what I've always called her."
Jarrod's mind was reeling from all the information. In just over two days, he had again found the woman he loved, found out that they had created a child together and that the child had been put up for adoption. Adeline watched Jarrod's face and knew he needed time to think through what she had told him. There was something else she needed to tell him too. But not now. He needed time to digest what she'd said. She stood and Jarrod stood with her.
"I'll go now and leave you to think about everything. I'll come back tomorrow morning."
Jarrod nodded and walked her to the door. He felt as though he were in a state of shock, like he was living in a fog. He realized after a moment that Adeline probably didn't have a place to stay for the night. Plus, he needed to be close to her. He ran out after her, and thankfully she hadn't walked too far.
"Adeline! Adeline!"
Adeline turned around and looked at Jarrod with a surprised expression on her face.
"Jarrod, what-"
"Where are you staying tonight?"
"Oh, I haven't decided yet," she said, looking away. Jarrod had been an attorney long enough to know when someone wasn't telling the truth. Adeline didn't have anywhere to go, and probably no money either. He placed his finger under her chin and turned her face toward his.
"Come back with me. We'll get some dinner and then I'll get you a room at a hotel."
Adeline wanted to protest but found herself nodding. She took Jarrod's offered arm and the two walked back to his townhouse.
They decided to stay in. They found enough food to make a simple meal and then spent the evening spending time together, keeping the conversation light, Jarrod catching Adeline up on his family. Jarrod wasn't ready to talk anymore about their daughter. Not just yet. He needed to think things through. Figure out a plan. Jarrod was getting ready to take Adeline to a hotel when a thought came to him. He smiled broadly and turned to Adeline.
"I was thinking, Adeline. We should get married. When we find our daughter, we will stand a better chance of getting her back if we are."
Adeline had been thrilled for just the briefest of seconds, thinking that Jarrod wanted to marry her. When she realized that it was just so they would be able to get Meredith back, she couldn't hide her disappointment. She tried to hide her tears and turned from Jarrod with the pretense of putting her wrap on.
"Adeline?" Jarrod noticed her quiet and turned her around to face him. Tears were in her eyes and he wondered at them.
"Adeline, what-"
"I can't Jarrod. I can't live in another marriage that's just for appearances. Especially not to you."
Jarrod realized how his proposal sounded. He hadn't meant for her to take it that way but didn't blame her for thinking that was what he had meant. Jarrod, you sure are romantic, aren't you? He gently wiped her tears away, and said huskily,
"Oh my sweet Addy," he said, using the nickname he had given to her years before. "I didn't mean it that way. I want to marry you and if you say yes, I assure you it will be a marriage in every sense of the word."
She stared into his blue eyes, almost trembling at their intensity. She knew he meant what he said and that she would be able to be in his arms again. She swallowed involuntarily and nodded. Jarrod smiled and leaned in to kiss her. The kiss started out tender but grew very passionate. Jarrod parted Adeline's lips to deepen the kiss and she gladly accepted him. They both moaned in pleasure and Jarrod broke the kiss just long enough to scoop Adeline up in his arms and take her upstairs to his bedroom.
**Words from the poem is from the song "When You Believe" from the movie the Prince Of Egypt.
