"My mom's on a late shift tonight," Luz mentions casually as she unlocks the door. She thinks about last time they were here together. They had both been drunk and only focused on one thing…

It'd been another long day of filming with the show's second season in high demand. Amity is really exhausted but Luz is more than happy about it. She's tired, sure, but she isn't exactly ready for bed yet. It's about ten thirty in the evening and her mom wouldn't be home until early morning.

They walk into the living room and Luz switches on the light. Amity seems to be a bit nervous about something and she can't really imagine why, they both know the ultimate end goal of tonight. But just to push her a little bit, Luz smiles and says, "There's someone I haven't properly introduced you to yet,"

Amity's face turns red and Luz has to laugh, she can only imagine what kind of crazy things are going through her stupid head right now. Luz disappears into the hallway for a moment and she comes back with a cat in her arms. "Ami, this is King," he jumps out of her arms, prancing over to his food bowl.

"A... cat ?" She laughs after a moment. "I didn't expect you to be the type of person to have a cat."

"And why not?" Luz gets a bag of cat food out of the top cabinet and pours some into King's bowl, he starts to eat right away. Then she takes the smaller bowl next to it and fills it up with sink water, placing it back down for him. She kneels down to gently pet him as he eats, Amity stands against the wall with her arms crossed and she's got an endeared little smile on her face.

"You're really cute," she says quietly. Luz grins and slowly walks toward her, they just stare at each other until she leans in and gives her a gentle kiss, Amity sucks in a sharp breath through her nose.

Then, Luz brushes past her and goes into her room. Amity stands stricken against the wall for a moment before rushing to follow her, she's all wound up just from one kiss. Stupid.

Amity comes in and stands still as she watches Luz change out of her clothes, she takes off her jacket and puts on a loose tank top, turns on the fan. Then she glances expectantly at Amity and she quickly slips out of her shoes, placing them neatly in the corner by the door.

She shuts the door, locking it.

Luz sits on the edge of her bed and pats her lap— and Amity rushes to climb on top of her, straddling her like an idiot who's just helplessly in love. "Hi," she says, a bit breathlessly as she wraps her arms around her neck.

"Hey," another soft kiss. "Wanna try something... different ?"

"Like what?" Amity asks quietly, shivering when Luz licks her on the chin.

"I can show you." She giggles and then walks a hand up her side, Amity arches her back a bit under the teasing touch. She reaches her chest and gently caresses it, kisses her more.

"I don't want to do anything," she says hesitantly, even as she rocks her hips. "This is bad for me."

Great , here she goes on her pointless tangent again. She's learned to just ignore it at this point because it doesn't matter. She knows Amity still wants her to. "I always try to leave but… look where that gets me."

Continuing ...

"You've ruined my life…" she moans at the hand reaching under her shirt and Luz doesn't know if she should be offended or honored by that statement. "You've turned me into an alcoholic."

"Hey, don't blame your trash self control on me," she shoots back even though she knows she shouldn't have, it only sets Amity off more.

"You've taken so many of my firsts...I bet it doesn't even matter to you, does it?" She asks bitterly, gently biting her lip as Luz reaches down between her legs. She can't exactly do much from this angle…"I'm just another girl, aren't I? You just like to mess with helpless girls, don't you?"

"Blight," she groans. "You are not helpless."

"I am helpless. You make me that way. You never give me a choice."

They kiss again, a bit roughly because Amity is upset again, just like she always is when they do this. Then Amity pushes her down and sticks her hand up her tank top. "Blight, off." She says sternly.

Amity glares at her. "No. You have to let me touch you, too." She starts to unbutton her pants.

"Red light," Luz says and grins smugly when Amity turns red, her hand stops in its tracks. "Off." She says again.

Amity groans and climbs off, glaring irritably at her. "That's not fair." She says. "Why don't you ever let me touch you?"

"I don't want you to touch me," she says and Amity raises an eyebrow at how vaguely that answers her question. She's already climbing on top of her, giving her soft kisses and gentle touches because she knows she loves that. Anything to make her submit.

"We're both in this relationship," she says in between kisses. "I want to make you feel good, too."

Pointedly ignoring that last part, she says, "This isn't a relationship."

"Then...what is it?" she asks albeit slightly annoyed, she's starting to get impatient. Funny how this is the time when they disagree most. Such a special moment between two people and yet for them it's more like a heated conversation. And that's one of many questions Luz doesn't know how to answer but usually anything she says is good enough for Amity. "I want to touch you." She says again, stern this time.

"No."

"But why not?" She lays back as Luz straddles her, helpless just like she always says she is. She can't really answer that question either...but Amity is an easy person to persuade and really, Luz knows she doesn't have to answer it. She can make her forget about it in a few seconds. " You just don't want to lose control."

Luz pauses. "I'm always in control, even when you think I'm not."

"You're right." Amity sighs, letting Luz take control over her and she pins her arm to her side. She loves it so much, Luz knows.

"I'm always right." She leans forward and gives her a gentle but firm kiss, Amity doesn't even try to kiss back because she's already lost, just like she always does.

"This is so unhealthy for us, Noceda. You know that."

Luz ignores her and instead focuses on getting Amity's pants unbuttoned, a practiced motion she's come to memorize in the past year. They've been doing this for a while. It doesn't get old, the constant crashing, the ups and downs.

Her underwear is already damp in the front, despite her thrashing hips and her resistance. "I need to leave you. I don't know why I keep…"

"Shut up, Amity." Luz rolls her eyes, peels her underwear away.

"You keep using me and I know you don't care about me," she hisses, Luz gently strokes her and she really just hopes it'll shut her up. She's so persistent with acknowledging her problem but she won't ever do anything about it. "But I care about you and I...I know I shouldn't but you make me so—hmmm," she moans. "I love you, so...much."

"You don't love me."

"Yes, I do. I want you. You're all I can think about and it's ruining my life and I—eep!" Luz slips inside of her, hoping she'd just save the spiel for later. "I know you don't care. You just don't. And I can't make you." She sighs, jerking her hips forward. "I'm the problem. But I don't care."

"About what?"

"I don't care if you hate me. You make me so crazy and I love it. I can't leave."

"I know," Luz says, touching her just the way she likes, slow and steady.

"I have to have it, the way you make me feel...ah," Luz suddenly stops and pulls her hand out. It's so difficult to do this with her sometimes. She's a maniac but she loves her screams and her body. She needs it. "Don't stop."

"Are you going to keep crying?" Luz asks.

"I have every right to," she whines. "You...you're very selfish."

Luz gives her a look and Amity says, "Touch me."

"I'm not doing anything until you stop."

"I'll stop then," she whines and jerks her hips again when Luz puts her hand back. Keep her waiting for a little longer, why not? Honestly, she's feeling a little tired now and she thinks she could probably just fall asleep right here. She shifts, moving off of Amity and lays down beside her, burying her head between her neck and shoulder and she lets her eyes flutter closed.

"What do you want me to do?" She yawns.

"Can we just...hurry this up, please?" She says quietly and a single tear rolls down the side of her face, her eyes are squeezed tightly shut.

So she reaches down between her legs and just strokes her, lousy and sloppy but it gets the job done because, Amity. She comes not even a full minute later and Luz takes some of the sticky white on her fingers and lazily swirls it around on her inner thigh. She doesn't care. She's sleepy.

"This is so... stupid ." She says in a weak little voice and she shudders. Luz hasn't looked up but she already knows she's crying again. She gives her shoulder a tender little kiss, if that helps any she doesn't know. She just feels kinda bad.

It's quiet for a long time and Luz is practically asleep when she breaks the blissful silence. "Let's stop this," Amity says softly making a miserable noise, like she has so many times before. Luz just laughs. "I mean it this time. I can't keep doing this..."

"You always say this, Amity." She groans and Amity stays quiet, reaches over to gently brush a hand through her hair despite herself. They stay there for a moment like that, the silence is comfortable but sickening.

"Let's break up."

"We were never together."

Amity blinks, taken aback. Like she wasn't aware of this already. She had to have known, right? "Fine. Let's part ways."

"It's not gonna work. As long as we work together it's gonna keep happening."

"You're right. Our contract…"

"It's not up for another nine months."

It goes quiet again for a while and Luz almost falls asleep again. Amity is thinking hard, though, like there's anything to be done anyways. Really, this was their problem and more specifically, Amity. She's the one who keeps coming back. She's the one who's deeply in love even if it's hopeless. "We're not going to break it off until we leave the show. I can't help myself when we...if we…"

...

"Then let's not. Let's stay together." Luz says gently into her neck. She feels Amity freeze.

"...What?"

"Just for a little longer. We'll keep it going until our contracts are up and then…"

" Then we'll break up."

"Sure, whatever you want," she kisses her neck gently and Amity squeaks a little bit. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes," Amity says all too quickly like an idiot. Did she even think about it? Is she really that stupid? That desperate? Luz was mostly kidding but this is just… "Wait." She pushes Luz away and sits up, staring at her apprehensively. "We need to set some rules first."

Luz rolls her eyes and Amity grabs her face sternly. "I'm serious. Why did you ask me that?"

"I don't want to stop just yet," she kisses the finger that's rested over her lip and Amity is clearly pleased by it. She's so hopeless. This is hopeless. There really isn't any good reason this should be happening right now. "Let's just go with the flow for a few months. It's been so long already."

"What's a little more torture, right?" She says and she gets a melancholy kind of smile before Luz is kissing her again, very gently and romantically like girlfriends do, at least she thinks.

"This doesn't mean I love you," she says and Amity freezes, her mouth drops open. And just to keep her burning, she says, "But...it doesn't mean that I don't …"

"You love to make me miserable, don't you?"

"You love it."

Amity giggles, sick and twisted but she doesn't care. "I love it. I want you to hurt me more ."

She leans forward and bites down on Amity's bottom lip, hard. She moans in pain, writhing under her. When she pulls away, her lip is a bright red color, the blood has rushed to the surface but the bite wasn't quite hard enough to draw any. "More." She says urgently.

"No, you crazy bitch," she laughs and Amity shuts her up with another kiss. They slip tongues and Amity also tries to bite her back, but it's not nearly as hard.

"Don't call me that." She pushes Luz away, somehow managing to get out from underneath her and ends up on top of Luz again. She doesn't care anymore. Amity tries to pin her arms over her head like she does her but it doesn't work because she's weak and stupid. "Arms up." She demands and Luz obeys amusedly, raises an eyebrow.

She keeps her arms there even as Amity shifts to fully remove her own underwear, she sees her just slightly biting her lip and that means she's already set to go again. Instead, she takes a deep breath and they stare at each other for a tense moment.

"Rules," she starts sternly and she reaches up to hold onto Luz's shoulder for some reason. "You have to say you love me."

"Not gonna happen," she quickly says back and Amity groans. She can feel a wet spot soaking through her top right where she's perched on top of her and she gets a rush of something even between her own legs. So resistance is what turns her on.

"You have to let me touch you." She tries again and Luz only laughs. "You have to let me do something."

"Touch me," Luz says. Amity blinks, confused.

"Promise you'll play fair?" She asks cautiously. "I don't want to be in a one sided relationship."

"Isn't that what it's always been?"

She pauses again. "Can you stop making me feel like shit for one second?"

"Okay, I'll tell you what," she offers her hand and Amity takes it, listening intently, hanging on every word so closely. "I'll let you do whatever you want, sometimes."

"How much is sometimes?"

" Once a week."

"Twice."

"Okay, twice," Luz rolls her eyes. "I'll say I love you, just to pretend."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"And," Luz suddenly pushes her off again and pulls her into another rough kiss. Amity hesitatingly kisses back. They're both so confused. "No more sex tonight. I'm sleepy."


One Month

This time they've taken their drunken escapades to the middle of nowhere, she's not completely sure where they are and she drove here in a daze. It's vaguely familiar and she can't really remember why. It's an empty open field, all she remembers is driving straight for a seemingly long time and seeing as how over crowded and populated the LA area usually is, she is convinced—and has convinced Amity that, "We're in Ohio,"

"What?" She sees Amity's face scrunch up in confusion and she leans to look out of the window, as if that'd tell her anything about anything. "No, we're not." She laughs after a while.

"Yeah, we are," she insists still, even if she's a bit unsure of herself anyways. But Amity is easy to persuade so she guesses they're in Ohio for tonight. They stumble out of the car and Luz takes her phone out to put on some weird early eighties Japanese city pop song.

Amity looks thoroughly confused and Luz giggles. "You have to appreciate other cultures, Amity." She says sweetly. "Dance with me?" She opens her arms and Amity practically flies into her like the lovesick fool she is, Luz knows she is. They're kissing when Amity pulls away to laugh, the upbeat music and its foreign vocals make her snort.

"This is really romantic," she says, tries to follow along with the gentle sway that Luz has started. "I want to get married."

"Okay," she shrugs. "When's the wedding?"

"Tomorrow?" She asks then rests her head over her shoulder. "Anything you want."

"I'll propose to you—" hiccup . "After we go ring shopping." She pauses when Amity clings onto her tighter. All she wants to do is dance and this isn't working. She pushes her off and she whines so she gives her kisses to make it better. Then, tracing her hand down Amity's arm, she interlaces their fingers together, hand back on her hip and she tries for a more ballroom esq waltz but they're both much too drunk to do anything right.

And yet it still works somehow. Kind of.

That's how they ended up here, in the middle of who knows where, slow dancing to city pop from Luz's phone that she's hastily set in the dirt on the ground and as they stumble around, they come uncomfortably close to stepping on it or kicking it, way too many times to count.

Well, they were probably slow dancing. Something close to that, at least. She's using her extensive knowledge from dance rehearsal from the prom episode when she had to dance with Amity. She remembers how hard that was, how exhausted she'd come home after those long days. The tedious struggle was to try and compromise with Amity, to be touching her all day, to be so close. That was when she hated her. She still hates her, she thinks.

A hand on her hip, she used to squirm and shudder under it, threatening her to move it but Luz liked how much it used to bother her. Now she just seems delighted by it. She wonders what changed her mind.

They spin round and Luz tries to dip-and-twirl Amity multiple times but it never really works out the way she wants it to—but she doesn't care because Amity's perfect and she's funny and she loves this and she doesn't know what's going on. She feels like this is some kind of weird fever dream happening. But they're both totally into it and she guesses that that's all that matters.

Two Months

She knows Amity didn't want any of this to happen either. She can feel her hesitance sometimes, even if she already knows that the answer is yes, to any of Luz's late night or midday questions.

So, when she says, "Let's do it here," ever so softly as they kiss on the sand, the waves loudly crashing on the shore, Amity says yes , just like she knew she would. They're at the beach in late spring and it's actually starting to get quite cold as the sun lowers over the horizon for the rest of the evening. She doesn't know why they're here exactly, it had been another one of their on-the-whim trips after work, even though they're both dead exhausted.

She guesses she just wanted to do something fun before it ends. She can't keep doing it anyways, as much as she wants to be childish and immature, she's an adult now and she needs to take control of her life and herself, at some point eventually. And Amity was her biggest distraction. She can't imagine how distracting she must be to her , who's already so knee-deep in her studies and college applications and adult junk that made her sick just thinking about it.

But right now, she's only thinking about one thing as Amity kisses her softly, like she's the one with the resolve. Like she wants something from her.

There really isn't anyone here, they could do it.

Really, it's become something like a game for them—but only Luz is playing to win. How many places could they do it? How many times in a week? How long does it last? She thinks she's the only one who's keeping count. "You always want to do this in public…" Amity trails off hesitantly and her gaze finds something over Luz's shoulder.

"Pay attention," she demands, giving her another kiss and her eyes flutter closed. "If you don't make any noise, no one will know."

"This is incredibly indecent of us," she says, lowering her voice as if she thinks someone's listening. "I don't think…" her resolve melts away into the ocean with the waves...Luz already has a hand inside of her pants, and Amity bites back a ticklish little moan. "We really shouldn't." She says even as she scoots herself closer to make the task a bit more discreet if possible.

"But you want to," Luz insists sweetly, another soft kiss as she wriggles her hand under the various layers of clothing Amity's decided to wear today. "What did we say about underwear...?"

"Sorry," she laughs a little and she's definitely not sorry but Luz can't help but laugh too. She knows how ridiculous they are, this whole thing is.

She gasps, Luz successfully gets her hand under and already Amity's having such a hard time keeping the noise down.

"Be quiet," Luz tells her again sternly but it's futile.

"You don't get to tell me that." She says, stifling herself. "You try keeping quiet when there's a—!" She tries to say but Luz just cuts her off with another kiss.

They got a few weird looks that evening. But they didn't care.