Willow wakes up at six every morning to do her daily stretches and exercises before work. She does casual arm circles, squats, jogging in place. It makes her feel productive even if she doesn't do much with her long days.

But, really, she has a good life. Good family, great job, awesome friends, a stable support system. She's pretty happy. She walks into the living room around seven thirty to find her dads in the kitchen. There's her usual premade lunch in a typical brown bag waiting for her on the counter, despite its mundaneness it makes her happy.

She drives to work, jams out to her favorite song by Paul McCartney and then switches to a podcast as she sips her caramel latte from Starbucks. She gets to work right on time just like always. She doesn't get called to the set much anymore these days because she's not as relevant to the show as she used to be, which is sad but she's glad for it. It gave her new opportunities and she actually works full time for another show on Nickelodeon now.

But she's glad to come back here anytime, for the first thing she's ever worked on. She wouldn't be here without it. Mostly, she's a background character and she has small scenes with Luz or Gus or Boscha that are filmed in a day and they don't call her back for another few weeks.

She gets to roll call in the break room a bit early and everyone is there just waiting for the crew to sign them in. Eda's here, her head is planted face first on the table and she snores softly. Gus sits with his lip pouted slightly, his hood pulled tight around his face. There's some guests like Boscha, who stands with her arms folded by the vending machine, its humming buzz sets the room into a quiet lull, and minor background characters.

Then there's Luz and Amity, who are sitting as far away from each other as possible. Unusually so. Luz stares blankly at the wall and Amity burns holes in the table, her arms crossed and the impatient tap of her foot is uncomfortably audible from under it.

This is how it always is with their early mornings, everyone looks so dead. You'd think they'd be used to it by now. Willow is the only one who's coherent enough to say something. "Morning," she says to no one in particular and in response she gets varying grunts. Eda snores. Amity doesn't even bother.

She takes a seat next to Luz but she doesn't say anything. Luz doesn't either. She seems bothered by something and she'd rather not open that can of worms this early. So she scrolls through her phone and sips her latte and keeps to herself.

About half an hour passes by and finally Dana comes through the glass door and she leans against it, she's looking down at a clipboard. "Morning guys," she says apologetically, looking up. "Sorry about the early day. I've been pushing to get more breathing room in the schedule for you guys but you know, we're on a t—"

" —Time Crunch, " Luz, Willow and Gus chorus. Dana rolls her eyes, smiling.

"You got it. Roll call. It's unnecessary but you know we have to do it."

Everyone raises their hands except for Eda who's still fast asleep and Dana looks down to check their names off the list. "Alrighty," she points to Luz first with her pen. "We need Luz, Amity, Gus, Willow and Eda up front for segment three and all the rest of you will be called as needed," she says dutifully and everyone mentioned makes their way out the door.

"Don't worry, miss ma'am," Gus grins sarcastically as he brushes past his boss, giving her a playful high five. "I didn't have any plans for this lovely Saturday anyways." He says and she rolls her eyes.

"I'm sorry guys," she says just as Luz is passing by.

"No problem. You know I'm happy to be here," Luz smiles and gives Dana a good natured fist pump. Eda is next and she gives her an apologetic pat on the back, still groggy from her power nap. Second to last was Amity who just completely ignores her, breaking the high five trend as she pushes past to follow after Luz with tunnel vision. That's the most action she's seen from her all morning.

Last is Willow and she rushes out, exchanging a friendly smile with Dana, not wanting to be late when they start filming. She heads down the halls to the dressing rooms and as she enters her own small but comfy room, across the way she catches the door to Luz's clicking shut and she sees Amity's mint green hair trailing close behind her. That's odd. But at the time, Willow doesn't think much of it.

She gets quickly into costume, her green Hexside uniform and her cute round glasses that she loves. Then she rushes down the hallways to get to the main set location, just various parts of the school. She stands behind as the crew readies everything and Gus joins her before Amity and Luz show up but stand very far away from the rest of them.

It gives Willow a feeling of warmth and joy, seeing the cast in their uniforms as well. Luz's colorful sleeves, Amity's pink and Gus in gray. She feels happy to be a part of something like this, even if it's just for the camera. She feels grateful to have these people in her life, they have their own routine and normal going on and she feels really lucky to be here with them.

She tilts her chin up as a crew inserts her mic into her shirt, she exchanges a goofy grin with Gus as another crew digs inside of his uniform too. Glancing over to Luz and Amity, they seem to be acting strange. Stranger than normal at least. Amity seems to be wobbling on her own two feet and Luz keeps wiping her mouth on her sleeve for some reason. Still, they pretend not to see each other and Amity crosses her arms, looking up at the ceiling.

At break time Willow, Gus and Luz head to the cafeteria. They sit in the cafe area in a booth because Luz says she's tired. They all slide in and Willow sits across from Gus and Luz. She pulls her lunch out of her bag, revealing a sandwich that looks awfully similar to Gus's PBJ. "Ooh! Wanna trade?" He asks.

"Sure," Willow laughs and they quickly swap their lunch. Taking a bite into the best sandwich to ever be made in human existence, its sweet and savory counterparts melting in her mouth, she hums delightedly. "This is so good, who made it?"

"I did," he beams excitedly. "Isn't it the best thing ever? PB&J making is my specialty," he says and Willow giggles. Luz scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"Please. It can't be that good." She laughs and Gus raises an eyebrow, exchanging a look with Willow.

"Luz. Open." She says and Luz begrudgingly complies, and that's when she breaks off a piece of said sandwich and feeds it to her. She chews it dramatically and pretends to be deciphering peanut butter and jam levels, struggling to keep a straight face.

"It's pretty great," she grins after she swallows it and Gus nods solemnly.

"What's your secret, Gus?" Willow asks playfully, giggling uncontrollably. They're knee deep into their sandwich discussions when Amity prances past, stiff as ever. Luz freezes as she watches the green haired girl dump her trash into the bin. She grabs a few napkins and starts to walk past again when Willow stops her. "Hey Amity," she says cheerfully.

Amity freezes in her tracks, groaning. She takes a deep breath and turns to face them with a less than pleasant smile on her face. "Hello, Park."

Willow hesitates for a moment, catching Amity's nervous glance at Luz who waves teasingly at her with a pretty little grin. "Would you like to sit with us?"

Amity pauses, looks away to think it over for about a split second. Then she smiles, naturally this time. "I'd love to." She says unconvincingly.

"Awesome!" Willow smiles and she scoots herself over to make more room for her. Amity slides in next to her, smoothing down her skirt in the back before sitting down. Immediately, there's tension and Willow isn't exactly sure why.

She exchanges a glance with Gus who looks uncomfortable and stiff. "So, Amity…" she laughs awkwardly.

Amity looks at her expectantly, raises an eyebrow and Luz looks on with intense focus. "How have... you been?" She falters when she spots a dark bruise just peeking out from underneath her collar. That's odd. "Oh... Amity… " Did she hurt herself? Willow, being the ever loving and concerned person she is, reaches up to gently touch it and— that was not the right decision.

At all.

Amity squeaks, flinching and she ducks away. After recovering from the initial shock, she gives Willow a dirty glare that could probably kill. "How dare you touch me!" She demands harshly.

"I'm sorry!" She stammers, holding her hands up in defense and she scoots farther away from her, backs herself into the corner. She glances toward Luz who looks like a deer caught in headlights and then Gus who's frozen with shock. Dang it, Park. You always have to go and ruin everything. That wasn't even a full minute!

"I'll call authorities on you!" Amity continues on her rant, climbing onto the seat to stand up over Willow. "You don't have the legal rights to look at me like that!" She shoves an accusatory finger in Willow's scared, trembling face. Then thank goodness, Luz decides to take action. She jumps out of her seat and rushes behind Amity to grab her around the waist and she lifts her off of the seat as she screams and kicks like a child throwing a tantrum.

Luz drops her down and Amity's face turns red with anger. She whirls around to face her, a nasty curse on the tip of her tongue—but when she is met with Luz's completely unamused frown, she immediately deflates, loses her resolve. "W—what?" Amity stammers, swallowing hard but never losing eye contact with the other girl.

"Stop being a bitch," she says simply and grabs Amity by her shoulders. She actually cowers under her, the tips of her ears turning a bright shade of red. She bites her lip slightly under Luz's bored scrutiny. "Get out of here. You're annoying." She says and then shoves her back so hard that Amity stumbles and nearly falls.

"Fuck you!" Amity whimpers once she regains her composure and Luz is already sliding back into the booth—in which she replies by raising her middle finger up and sticking her tongue out. Amity lets out a frustrated growl as she runs through the automatic doors that lead back to filming grounds.

Luz chuckles when she sees Willow, still backed into the corner of the booth for dear life with wide eyes. "Sorry about that, Willow. You don't need to be scared of her. She's all talk."

"She was definitely about to kill Willow," says Gus, dead set on his statement. "I'm not even joking."

"No," she laughs again and waves him off. "She has anger issues I think. Sometimes she just needs someone to take her down a peg."

Willow and Gus exchange looks again for the one hundredth time today. "Well...I'm definitely avoiding her for the rest of my life." She says as she shifts to sit up correctly. "She's so angry all the time...I wonder what her problem is," she sighs and adjusts her glasses.

"Maybe she's having relationship problems. You know how teens are." Gus says and when Luz and Willow turn to glare at him, he laughs sheepishly. "What? I've seen it first hand."

Willow sighs again, feeling personally offended by her and Amity's encounter. She tries to think back to when they first met because maybe she did something to upset her. Why else would she have a problem with her like this? As a pacifist, she feels uneasy about the whole thing. Maybe she should bake her some cookies and try to apologize again tomorrow… "Gus is right, though. It could be a sign of domestic abuse. Maybe she's in trouble," she says, sounding concerned. "I did see some kind of bruise on her neck. I think I saw more than one."

At that, Luz pauses, turning a bit red in the face. She brushes it off, scoffing, crossing her arms and looking up at the ceiling. "Serves her right," she mumbles.

"That's not right, Luz." Willow sighs. "Just because she's mean doesn't mean we should be mean back."

"Ehhh," Gus laughs.

"Gus!"

"I don't think anything's wrong. I think she's just a bitch," Luz picks at her nail nonchalantly. "We shouldn't entertain it."

"How do you know? Have you talked to her?"

Luz pauses again. "No—not—not recently ," she stammers. "We only really talk during rehearsal and even then it's just her insulting me or some shit,"

"That's odd," she hums, glancing pointedly at Luz when she shrugs. "I wonder what her problem is."

"Guess we'll never know," Gus says in a mysterious, wistful voice. "She's a mystery to us all."


Finally, this long day was coming to a close. Looking back on this morning, Willow felt like a whole year had already come and gone. She was making her rounds through the building and the multiple rooms she's been in to make sure she gathered all of her belongings; she probably wouldn't be back here for a while.

She's leaving her dressing room when once again she sees Amity trailing closely behind Luz in the hallway, they argue back and forth in hushed voices. Willow is just a bit weirded out by how many times she's seen them together today, so close like that.

It's not like it's any of her business but...

She thinks she kind of knows what's going on. She thinks...maybe…

Yep.

This just confirms it.

She takes the cafeteria shortcut to get to the parking lot faster and—lo and behold, she sees those two making out in the cafe, at the very back. It's definitely them, the bright green hair and the red beanie. Just over the booth wall she can see Amity's hesitance and Luz's dominance over her. That explains the little scene from earlier.

She gets it now. Willow stops dead in her tracks, frozen with shock. It's none of her business but still she can't help but feel a bit betrayed by the sight of it. Luz lied.

This is just...she's never seen anything like this. They kiss, soft and quick before Luz pulls away to give her this smug look. Amity bites her lip, whimpers like a lovesick idiot and leans forward to kiss her deeply again. You can practically smell her desperacy. It's kind of sad to watch.

Then Luz pulls away again and runs her tongue over Amity's lips and— ugh. Willow can't tell if she's revolted or endeared. She says something and Amity is visibly hanging on her every word. Luz pulls her into a hug around her neck and Amity's shoulders drop, but she doesn't move.

And that's when Luz turns to look behind them over the booth. She doesn't seem to register it until she turns back around to do a double take. Her eyes widen and she looks down, ashamed. Then Amity twists around to look and immediately she turns red, quickly turning back, ducking her head.

She feels like she's just witnessed something very wrong.

Luz quickly shuffled out of the booth, running to the spot where Willow stood shell shocked by the door. They just stare at each other for a moment and then Luz chuckles awkwardly. "Heyyy, Willow," she grins. "Don't say anything about this? To anyone? Please?"

"I'm not," she blinks, stammering. "It's none of my business anyways."

"Okay, phew," She deflates but there's still a paranoid edge to her voice. "I um, we just...you know?"

"Yeah," Willow laughs loudly. She has no idea what just happened. "It's… that's great. I'm happy for you guys." She smiles. "Really, I am."

"Uh, thanks! And...you won't like...tweet this or anything right?" Luz asks anxiously. "I just don't want…"

"Yeah! Definitely not. That'd be...not-cool of me. I won't. Promise."

"Okay. Great. Uh, thanks."

Willow does her best to hold back her tears and she Usain Bolts it out of there. She was going to confess to her today but good thing she didn't. She's in some kind of relationship with...Amity Blight. Of all people.

Wait. So does that mean...if Luz….the bruises…


" Shit. We got caught!" Luz laughs quietly and she offers her hand to Amity who's still sitting at the booth with her heart in her throat. "Let's get out of here."

Amity whines and she looks away anxiously. Willow saw them. She most definitely saw them kissing and everything and— ugh. That was a really romantic, intimate moment for her and it was amazing but… she just feels awful now. Willow is definitely going to tell everyone and they're going to get in trouble and it's going to become public and she's going to get humiliated.

More so than she already is.

They head to the choreo studio because well, Luz and Amity were hanging out there earlier and she left her computer bag in there somewhere. And as they're walking silently down the hallway and Luz gives her that look, she knows what's coming next.

That's why she isn't surprised when she hears the door close behind her. That's why she isn't surprised when she feels Luz comes up behind her, gently resting her chin on her shoulder.

Now she doesn't want to move at all. "Hi," she breathes, completely forgetting what she was doing because her girlfriend feels so warm against her. "I love you," she says.

"Love you too," she stops, like she had more to say but decided against it. "Are you worried?"

Amity nods. "No."

"Good." She kisses her neck. "I love you." She says it fiercely this time and it really does something to Amity's insides. She gasps in blissful ecstasy at the hand that creeps up her chest.

Goodness. She's not going to come out of this sane.

And that's when Luz pushes her against the wall, their bodies crashing together in a frenzied and deep kiss. The empty ache in her chest becomes a bottomless pit, the closer they are, she feels like Luz is harder to reach. And still she loves the way it feels because she loves a chase. She doesn't want anything that's just handed to her. She wants to take it.

And even if she knows she can't, trying and failing is the sexual frustration she craves. She's sorted this out in her head: she's an idiot and this is why she's never going to get out of this in one piece. She doesn't exactly know what Luz wants from her so she gave her the only thing she has. Her heart, her body, her soul. Still, she doesn't want it.

So why is she so persistent? Why does she like making her cry and miserable if she doesn't care? Why is she making her feel so loved, so bad? Why is she softly kissing down her neck, massaging her through her underwear just right like it's her day job? Why does Amity allow it?

Why does Amity like it so much? She thinks she likes it too much, too much for her own good. She loves it when Luz teases her and makes her wait. She loves the bruises and the dull ache. She craves her hands on her body. She loves it when she doesn't stop, she loves it when she touches her and violates her like she's a toy. She loves it so much that she's not quite sure on where to draw the line...

" Why were you being so bad today?" She asks, biting gently on her collarbone. Amity wants to scream because she doesn't know. She loves this. It's so wrong and they could get caught any minute. She doesn't need any distractions.

Amity bites down on her lip, steadily rocking her hips. "You weren't paying attention to me…" she breathes out in a shaky sigh. Luz stops kneading her through her pants and Amity groans. She really wishes she were wearing a skirt right now. She's so worked up and she doesn't think she'll be able to do anything until she gets that under control.

"Not everything is about you," she purrs affectionately and Amity just wants to melt. Maybe she'll just take her pants off right now. They could go quick… "Haven't I told you this before, Blight?"

"You did, but…" her mind goes blank for a split second when her hand slips under her waist band. Wow, she's already two steps ahead of her. She giggles and tells Luz exactly what she wants to hear. "I don't care."

"You should behave yourself." Luz tells her sternly and pushes her hand lower. A rush of excitement shoots up between her legs and she suddenly doesn't care about anything else. She needs this. Leaning back against the wall, she tries to open her legs as much as possible just to make it easier for her girlfriend. Either way, if she wanted something then she'd take it no matter how hard it is. But Amity wants to make this fun and easy for her. Maybe then she'd realize how much she loves her and how easy it is. How little she wants.

"I'll behave when you show me how those fingers work…" she says and then shudders. She really needs to work on her dirty talk. Her embarrassment is quickly forgotten when Luz gets right inside of her, slowly circling the spot. Amity thinks she's going to come right now. Good. She could just get this done with and go about her night. It'll be quick. " Yes. Don't stop."

"You're such an idiot." Luz laughs, exerts her fingers and spreads Amity out, pressing her palm over her clit. "Letting me do this to you here. At work."

" I don't care," she just barely manages to stifle her needy, desperate cry that definitely would have gotten them caught, panting for air. But she knows that if she wants this, she's going to have to get Luz worked up too.

"Can you stay quiet?"

"Don't want to," she shoots back and bites her lip, anxiously awaiting the repercussions. Luz gives her an especially rough little thrust with her two fingers and Amity makes sure to scream especially loud.

Luz pulls away and gives her a stern look, quickly pulling her fingers out, much to Amity's great disappointment. "Fuck." She breathes out, melting into the soft kiss they've tangled into. It's gentle and sweet until it turns painfully delicious just like it always does. Luz bites down on her bottom lip, hard. Amity yelps, swiping her tongue over the already broken skin from previous bites. It tastes like blood.

"Can I take you out?" Luz whispers into her neck, kissing softly there now too.

" Yes," Amity says without even a second thought. Whatever Luz wants, she does too. She wants something bad to happen, she wants to feel herself be destroyed and she wants to be sad. She wants all of her. Anything she wants.

Without a word, Luz brushes past her and opens the door to leave the room, leaving Amity with her pants down and her hopes up. She thinks about just reaching down and letting herself off the hook because she knows it's about to be a long night. But she decides against it because whatever Luz had planned was going to be so much better. She knows her body better than Amity knows it.

With anger and frustration teasing her patience, she pulls her pants back up and grabs her computer bag before rushing out after her hot girlfriend like the little kitten she is. She is nothing if she's not beside her.

Luz doesn't open the door for Amity to get in the car which is both equal parts disappointing and annoying. But she knows what she's getting herself into. Luz isn't that type of person or—she is when she wants to be. When she wants something. She guesses that the reason she doesn't bother with trying anymore is because she already knows the answer is yes. Amity really should adopt some standards but really, how can she when one simple touch makes all of her morals disappear with the wind?

"Where are we going?" Amity asks, just barely shutting the door before Luz was already pulling out of the parking lot. She turns on the heater and—as an afterthought, buckles her seatbelt.

"I dunno," she shrugs. Amity's stomach twists with delight. That's usually a good sign that things were going to get exciting or at the very least, fun. Maybe she'd even get to finally come. She'd come so close and it was so good and she was so ready.

Or maybe she'd bruise her some more. Her hands or legs or other places. A bruise on any of her private spots would be really painful. She hopes she gets to feel it. She wants to feel her pain the way she inflicts it. She wonders what that's all about though.

All of her bruises have the same dull ache. Some are purple and fresh, the pain sharp. Some are brown and faded, still present but they only hurt if they're bothered or touched. She has a few on both of her inner thighs. Those are in clumps. The majority of them are on her shoulders. Then there are single ones in odd spots if Luz is feeling adventurous, as if it's her body to bruise like that. Amity doesn't care. She likes it, she likes it so much. It's really not her body anymore.

It's all for her. She knows it's the little things that please Luz, like the outfits or a new soap that she tried. It makes her feel special and it's worth it just to hear her say, you look pretty. She'd do anything for her love and approval.

So that's why when they pulled into a lazy neighborhood shopping centre, Amity asked, "The grocery store?"

"No," Luz laughs. "I need to get something before we go."

"What is it?"

She pauses, then grins. "Nothing. Don't even worry your pretty little head, 'kay?" And then, "Need anything?"

She thinks for a moment and then, "I'm coming in too."

Luz groans but doesn't say anything and gets out of the car. She didn't say no. Taking that as a sign of approval, she jumps out and hangs onto her arm as they walk in. It's pitch dark outside, the biting cold burns the tip of her nose. Before they enter, Amity looks around and tries but fails to recognize where she is.

Oh gosh, she's somewhere she doesn't know with Luz. There's really only one way the rest of the night is going to go. She hugs herself closer as they walk through the double sliding door, the overly bright fluorescent lights and check out machine beeps greeting them. "Where are we?" She asks softly next to her ear.

"By my house," she says and oh. Maybe not as adventurous as she thought. But still… "I was gonna go to the pier but I can drop you off if you want."

"No!" She dejects quickly. They cut through the toiletries aisle and across to the refrigerated section. "I'm going wherever you go. Babe."

Luz laughs quietly and Amity knows she's endeared by it. She just wants to get out of here so they can go wherever they were going to go because all she wants is to fuck. She just wants to feel her, everywhere. She wants to be hurt and pushed and pulled.

"What do you need?" Luz asks her.

Oh, yeah.

"Oh! Right. Um. Sanitary pads."

"You're on your period?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Not yet. I just…" she bites her lip, feeling very self conscious all of the sudden. "I want to be prepared."

"Okay," is all Luz says and they turn back around to the toiletries and sanitary aisle. She's still curious though.

"What did you need?" She asks again and leans forward to kiss her ear.

"It's nothing."

Amity groans. Why doesn't she just say it? She's going to see it either way. She really frustrates her sometimes.

The silence is awkward as she decides on pads or tampons. These are both from brands that she's never heard of before so she's a bit skeptical. She glances over to see Luz standing beside her, boredly reading a label on a birth control kit she picked up. She looks unamused and patronizing, as if she doesn't have any business here. Like she doesn't have a period.

Amity decides to bug her a bit.

"That's a real thing girls use, you know." She says sweetly, still thinking about if she wants this or that.

She hears Luz snort. "I know."

It's quiet again. "When's your period?"

"...It was earlier this month."

"So… what's your problem with it?"

"Huh?"

"You seem like you're upset about something."

"I'm not. Periods are just annoying, that's all. I hate it."

Amity giggles quietly to herself, decides to just get both and then grabs some wet wipes as an afterthought. "You like it," she insists playfully as she brushes past her to leave the aisle. She relishes in the way that Luz rushes after her.

And then they end up in the alcohol aisle.

"Should I get this one or this one?" She asks and takes two different bottles sitting beside each other into her hands, giving Amity a completely innocently cute inquisitive look.

Amity blinks, narrowing her blurry eyes to read the labels on the bottles. The one in her right hand says whiskey and in her left is a smaller bottle with a green label that says Patron. "What's the difference?" She asks, genuinely confused.

"Eh," Luz shrugs and slides the smaller bottle back onto the shelf. "I dunno. Whatever's gonna get me drunk faster."

"Bigger doesn't always mean better."

Luz leans in and gives her a soft kiss, immediately shutting her up and melting her resistance. "You'll have some with me right?" She asks sweetly, their lips brushing together teasingly. And...how can she refuse her?

"Yes," Amity whispers and kisses her back deeply, resting a hand on her shoulder. A wave of excitement rushes over her when Luz pushes her back and she stumbles, the fragile glasses clattering noisily behind her, only to be pulled into a deeper more frenzied kiss. Right here in the alcohol aisle in a store she doesn't know at approximately eleven o'clock at night. She's making out with her girlfriend. Wow. She's so successful.

Getting intensely heated up and her growing nerves about someone coming down the aisle and seeing a moment that she'd rather keep private, she pulls herself away with a grueling effort and puts a stern hand on Luz's chest when she tries to lean in again. "Please…let's get out of here." she says.

"Kay," is all Luz says before flicking her tongue over Amity's lips again. She sucks in a sharp breath, hoping with every bone in her body that she does it again. But she doesn't. Of course not. "Let's go checkout?"

Speechless, Amity nods feverishly and trails behind her silently as they walk to the front of the store. Her lips still wet with Luz's saliva, she closes her eyes and licks over her lips, collecting that sweet, disgusting, sticky spit onto her tongue put there by her girlfriend. She shudders from the absurdity of it, how desperate she is. She wants more. That's why she's here.

They get in line at checkout three, behind two other people. Amity stands stiffly beside Luz who's flipping through one of those stupid celeb magazines on how they think America's top charter might be pregnant. Of course she's into that stuff. They move up in line and she sets her two pound bottle of whiskey on the checkout belt. Amity hesitantly sets down her two boxes of period product, glancing cautiously at Luz who's pulling out her credit card and ID.

"Forty-five," says the bored twenty-something looking girl behind the counter. Luz's eyes widen at the price but still happily swipes her card. She moves up in line and gets her precious beverage into a bag while Amity irritably pulls out a few dollars to pay for her stuff, visibly annoyed by how Luz would pay an arm and a leg for worthless garbage but not ten bucks for her own girlfriend.

As they're walking back to the car, Luz grins and flicks Amity in the ear. "What's with the face princess?"

She bites her lip, ducking away from her grabbing hand. She feels like an idiot. "Mad I didn't pay for you?" She asks teasingly. She unlocks the car and hastily tosses her bag of alcohol in. Amity opens the door for herself and gets in, feeling incredibly stupid all of the sudden. "I don't just pay for anyone, Amity." She says as she's turning the heater on, starting the car up.

She sighs, leaning her head against the window as they pull out and back onto the main road to the highway. She wants to go home now. "I guess I'm 'just anyone', then."

"Shut up, Blight." she rolls her eyes and reaches her hand down into the bag to fumble with the fancy lid on the whiskey bottle, keeping a steady hand on the wheel. "You always get so butt hurt over everything. Just relax a little bit."

"How can I relax when you get me so…worked up!" She shoots back and she sees Luz grin again. Damn her. "Not like that. Well, yes, like that." She groans violently. "I hate you. I'm so confused and—and angry. I'm so stupid. I need to go home. Can you take me home?"

"It's too late for that. You're stuck with me for the night," she says ominously and Amity isn't exactly mad about it. "And you are right about one thing. You're pretty stupid."

Anger bubbles up inside her chest, and she glares over at Luz but it goes unnoticed in the darkness of the car and headlights from around them. "Fuck you. Stop making me think you're actually going to do something for once." She says and hugs herself, desperate to relieve the intense regret she feels right now, off into the night going who knows where with this girl who she doesn't really know but is madly in love with despite everything.

"What do you want me to do?" She asks contentiously, daring her. "Do you want me to propose to you or something? Is that what you want?"

"No," she croaks, her heart racing in a flurry of anger and guilt and excitement. "I just wish you treated me better. That's all."

"But you love it. You don't want me to treat you better."

Amity squeezes her eyes shut, tears burning and threatening to spill out. She hates that she's right. She wishes she weren't like this. She sniffles, staying quiet. After a while, Luz lifts the bottle of whiskey up and she takes a thirty second sip, downing half of the bottle in one go. She bursts into a coughing fit, rolling the window down to duck her head out, all while driving on the freeway. Somehow, Amity's hoping the car crashes.

She sets the bottle back down and wipes her mouth off with her sleeve. She glares at Amity when she giggles quietly at the whole thing, watching silently. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad." Luz says quietly.

"...I'm not." Amity says shakily, her throat is tight from the crying. "I want you no matter what." She says sweetly.

"Me too. I'm sorry I'm such a bitch. I don't know what to do." She admits hesitantly and then turns to look at her again. "Love you,"

Amity freezes up, her heart twists in confusion and longing and guilt. She's absolutely got emotional whiplash from this girl. She's still really mad and annoyed but she doesn't want to be anymore. She wants to get through this so they can go back to normal as soon as possible. She almost feels stupid for getting upset. "I love you too, Luz. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'll make it up to you later, I promise."

Her heart practically leaps out of her chest, something tingles in between her legs and she bites her lip, fighting down a needy smile. "Babe!" She giggles incredulously.

"You'll forget how to walk for a few days," she says, laughing along with her lovesick girlfriend and— oh god. She's in trouble. She squeezes her legs together, trying to get herself to calm down because she needs to be patient. She has to stay focused. She makes it so hard sometimes.

And to distract herself, she reaches down and grabs the bottle of whiskey. She's determined to finish the last half and as she tips her head back to drink, the strong smell of it immediately discourages her. She gets about two and a half sips before she's coughing it up and gasping for air. Her eyes water and her throat burns so bad but it feels so good and she knows she's made Luz proud or, turned her on at the very least. If tonight was going to be a long night then she'd rather not be mentally present for most of it.

Regaining her composure, she goes for attempt number two and finishes all but a corner left. It was a big bottle.


She doesn't know how long they drove or, really anything that has to do with time because time is stupid to her now. It doesn't really matter anymore. The only thing she's worried about is her girlfriend, her cute, hot, sweet girlfriend who she loves so much and will literally eat dirt for. All she wants is to feel her hands on her body, inside of her. She wants to make out and eat her out and all of these terrible things that it's definitely begun to cloud her judgement. Or rather, the ache between her legs did first. half a bottle of whiskey second. Intense passion third.

She stumbles out of the car and her and Luz use each other as a human-walking tool. They can barely stand up and everything is funny. It's funny how they accidentally bang their heads together when Luz pushes her against the car to kiss her sloppily. It's funny when she bites her tongue because it hurts so bad. It's funny when they nearly fall over as they walk into the entrance of Santa Monica pier. She doesn't know how they got here and how far away from home she is or what time it is or where her phone is but she literally doesn't care.

For a split second she gets a little worried about two things. The crowd is coming out of the main entrance and they're going in. Are they closed? Is something going on? Will they let two people in that are this drunk? Luz laughs when she looks over at her as they walk, the cogs are visibly turning in her head. "You look stupid. But pretty," she laughs, hiccuping loudly.

"Thanks babe! You look pretty too," she says back very happily. Because she is happy. She wouldn't rather be anywhere else ever except here in the late hours of the night, under lights and neon signs and live music and adventure around every corner. She looks around for once when she can finally peel her eyes off of her girlfriend and she sees a lot of other young couples.

They look normal. Not like her and Luz. They look loving and easy and happy. And...Amity isn't not those things but...there's something missing here. She can't really think of what it is. They stumble down the boardwalk, through the crowd that's mostly filtering out to leave. There's smells coming at them from every direction. There's seafood and Mexican and also maybe sushi? She doesn't know but she's really, really hungry all of the sudden.

"Let's get something to eat, okay babe? Then we can do whatever you want." She says sweetly, starting to drift to the side which causes Luz to almost fall over and trip over her drunken feet. Each step is shaky and uncertain and incredibly difficult.

"Wait!" She gasps and loses her balance, stumbling into Amity and knocking her off balance as well. By some miracle they don't fall down and they recover good enough. Luz stays behind Amity, wrapping her arms around her neck to keep herself upright. Apparently that was really funny to the both of them because they get into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, a few tears run down Amity's cheeks as they wander slowly into a random restaurant that she doesn't know the name of.

Amity knows that she's going to have to interact with another human for this part. She's incredibly unstable and her mind feels like it's running laps and can't actually focus on a single thing. All she feels is her girlfriend's warm body pressed against her, hanging onto her and relying on her for support. That makes her feel so amazing to finally be taking charge of something in this relationship.

They walk up to the queue where the receptionist is cleaning up the booth for the night. Amity clears her throat like a rude bitch and harnesses her full brain and mental capacity to say, "Can I get a table for me and one other person?"

He jumps to attention and tries to stifle a groan. "Sure thing," he tells her with a truly exceptional customer service voice. Amity wants to tell him he's doing a great job for a college freshman wearing glasses-nerd who's probably studying for computer science or something.

They shuffle behind him as he leads them through the dark and empty restaurant, round booth tables and obnoxious hippie t-shirt displays.

It's one of those places. Ugh. Just by the type of indie rock music playing and the copiously obnoxious decorative set pieces and neon lights, she can tell they're in a seafood restaurant. Which is fine but it probably costs a fortune. See? She's making rational decisions and thoughts here. She didn't drink that much.

She makes sure to go slow so her beautiful amazing girlfriend can stay up and stumble along behind her without any trouble. Even if that meant stopping every five seconds to let her catch up and then losing the waiter.

Luckily, they get a table and are left alone for a while to decide on what they're going to order. Amity doesn't really know. She can't read right now. Well, she can… but the letters aren't registering in her stupid Luz infested brain. Instead, she opts for staring at her beautiful girlfriend who's sitting back in her chair, looking down at the menu with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She's probably having a hard time with reading too.

Amity laughs after hiccuping loudly and she reaches over the table to slap Luz in the face with her menu. "What's wrong my love?" She asks sweetly.

"I don't want any of this shit," she says and then laughs. "I don't want… shrimps with pasta. That's disgusting!" She cackles, throwing her head back. Amity lets out a little giggle, the sight of her girlfriend laughing makes her want to cry. She's so beautiful. She feels really emotional right now, more so than usual. She wants to be in her arms and feel her warmth.

Amity sniffles after shedding a pathetic tear while Luz is in hysterics over lobster rolls. "It's sixty bucks!" She laughs incredulously and— she just looks really cute.

"Babe," Amity croaks, reaching over to interlace fingers with her girlfriend. "Can I sit next to you? I feel so far away."

"Yeah. Get over here," she says, looking at her with confusion. Amity stands up on her wobbling legs and pulls her chair to sit beside her girlfriend. Finally, with the gap between them closed, she feels like her life is complete or at least starting to come together. Amity sits back down, sniffling and wiping another tear from her face as she leans into the arm that Luz wraps around her. It feels so amazing. "What's wrong?" She whispers into her hair.

"I just… love you so much," she says, biting back a sob and burying her head into Luz's neck. It's so soft and warm and she's never leaving. "You're all I want. And you're here. And I have you. But I don't feel good enough for you,"

"Aw, babe," Luz pats her head and pulls her closer. Amity leans in all the way so that she's practically in her lap. And what's the difference right? She fully climbs on top of her, straddling her amazing girlfriend right here at this table in this restaurant because she can't help herself. She sobs some more into her neck, under her comforting pats on her back. She's so amazing. She wants to leave right now and just run off into the night with her and never go back, ever. "You're good enough. I'm trying to be good enough for you."

"Babe!" She hugs her tighter and kisses her neck softly, uncontrollably sobbing. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"You mean the world to me," Luz says quietly, laughing. "Stop crying,"

"I can't. Luz. Tell me you love me."

"Love you. I love you so much. Just stop crying, okay?" She pets her head again and Amity nuzzles into it.

"Okay babe." She whispers and bursts into a fit of laughter. "Wanna get married?"

"Not tonight. Maybe next weekend because we're off?"

"Okay. And let's—," Amity pauses because the waiter shows up again.

"All ready to order?" He asks with a pinch in his voice. He's trying not to laugh at the sight before him, these drunk teenage girls sitting so indecently at the table. Luckily, Amity's back in her seat by the time he comes back around to give them their order. They aren't not touching though because how can they? Luz is giving her the biggest hickey ever on her neck when he sets down the mango milkshake that Luz ordered and then a dish of fries. That's all they ordered at this fancy seafood restaurant that they both hate for some reason. Poor waiter.

"Babe, stop, stop," Amity gasps excitedly when her girlfriend nips at her collarbone, licking over it gently. It's a grueling effort to push her off before things get too out of hand and Amity has a hard time with controlling herself, especially in her scatterbrained state of mind. Damn whiskey. Luz groans and begrudgingly pulls away.

"Why won't you let me do anything?" She asks, leaning over to take a sip of her milkshake.

"We can't do anything in this restaurant! We're in public!" She says, glaring at her incredulously. And yet she can't help the grin that spreads across her face as she thinks about the what-ifs. What if Luz didn't stop and really wanted her way? What if she stuck her hand down her pants and Amity had to try and keep the noise down? What if…

"Eh," she shrugs, plucks the cherry off the top of her milkshake and she dangles it in front of Amity's mouth. "Want this?"

She crosses her arms, begrudgingly bites it off the stem and she chews it slowly while staring at her girlfriend's lips to satisfy her urges. She wants to taste her and feel her and… ugh. Luz notices her shameless staring and smiles, deliberately biting her lip. "I want you…" she breathes.

"Control yourself, Blight," she says in all its signature glory, takes another sip. Amity couldn't count how many times she's been told that. Each time it only makes things worse for her, the desperate ache between her legs, the tugging in her heart, her hands twitching to touch her.

"You make it so hard…" she sighs, biting her lip and shifting to sit right in her chair, stares blankly down at the shiny table with stupid movie quotes written in stylized scrawl all over it. Maybe if she doesn't look at her, it wouldn't be too hard to ignore her screaming body, begging for her touch. "I love you so much." She quietly tells her.

"Love you too," she says and reaches over to grab a french fry. Amity groans impatiently, taking the milkshake and drinking it angrily. At least it's sweet and smooth and satisfying to drink. She swishes it around her mouth, trying to get rid of the whiskey taste on her tongue. Now that it's gone, she sort of misses it, the bitter memory of earlier. It feels like it's been a long night already.

She remembers the anger and guilt she felt over something so small. She feels sort of stupid about it because looking at her girlfriend now, she can't even imagine being mad at her. All she wants is her. Forever and always. She'll wait as long as she needs to.

They stumble out of the restaurant long after it closed, out onto the boardwalk again. It's mostly empty, devoid of other people and they practically have the whole place to themselves. They wander around for a long time, walking past the parking lot, past the colorfully lit Ferris wheel. It changes colors, patterns and designs at such a dizzying speed that Amity's eyes hurt just looking at it.

They pass the roller coaster, more restaurants and attractions. Eventually they end up at the beach down under the parking lot. There's a steep, squeaky wooden staircase down to the white sand and they have a really hard time with that being helplessly drunk and all. But they're determined to get down to the shore, so they take each step with tedious precaution, hanging onto each other for dear life but it's really funny to them which—doesn't help. Amity stumbles down a few of them but luckily her beautiful girlfriend is there to catch her.

Now on the beautifully quiet beach, the view is nothing but sand and the pitch dark sky for miles. It's almost frightening to look at and it overwhelms Amity a bit, so she clings to her amazing girlfriend instead and focuses on her. They hug and inevitably start making out again because they're both sick idiots.

For some reason Luz is more aggressive than she was earlier, which Amity can't decide if she's happy or disappointed about it. She loves the writhing pain of her biting her lip to the point where the skin is broken and inflamed. She likes the needless assertiveness of the way she's holding her head so she doesn't move away from the kiss. She likes being called a stupid fucking idiot because she is.

I never planned to leave, she wants to tell her.

The sound of the crashing waves, the bitter cold, the dark sky, the thought that there aren't any people within miles of them as they kiss on this endless beach. It excites her and scares her at the same time. Who knows what could happen here with her… Amity pries herself out of Luz's grip, away from the kiss to ask her sweetly, "Do you want to have sex with me?" Another kiss. "On this beach?"

"Not here." She says. "We'd get sand everywhere."

Oh yeah. Beach.

"I don't care," she says vigorously, holding her girlfriend's face in her hand and giving her a chaste, sweet kiss that quickly turns sensuous in a matter of seconds. She pulls herself away like she's fallen under water and she's drowning. She needs to keep herself focused. They cannot have sex on this beach. They shouldn't. But…

"Let me take you home." Luz says hesitantly.

"Then we'll have sex. Right?" She whispers.

"If you want to," she tells her and they kiss deeply again. Amity loses grip on reality and her last bit of brain cell because her body wants nothing else. Amity kisses back urgently, desperate and loving.

"I've never wanted anything more than this, babe." She says quietly. "Please."

So they begin their epic journey back up the creaky wooden steps. This time, Amity goes up backwards to hold onto her girlfriend and make sure she doesn't slip over her unsteady feet.

It takes a long time with her backwards steps and them stopping every once and a while to kiss each other, but eventually they make it back up to the parking lot and with a newfound mission, they get back into Luz's car. Not before accidentally trying to unlock two other cars that look frustratingly similar to hers.

Maybe if they were in their right mind, they'd be able to tell the difference.


They tumble into Amity's apartment around two in the morning.

She roughly pushes her against the wall and ugh she's never going to get tired of that. She loves being pushed and forced and shoved, it's what she was made for and it turns her on more than anything. She's ready for it, for anything and everything and nothing can stop her. She doesn't want anything else but this. Nothing else matters, not their argument or how much she fucking hates Luz, not even how drunk she still is.

Luz leans forward, burying her face into Amity's neck and she kisses her softly. It feels so good and sweet and Amity is definitely not ever stopping. She's hit the bottom of the barrel and there's no way out. Even if there is, she's never leaving. If this relationship ends, it's because Luz did it. Amity, in her right mind, isn't going to do anything close to that. Not ever. Not when she feels so good. Not when her hand is trailing gently down her body, traveling and touching and feeling like she's a toy, swirling around her nipples through her shirt, rocking her hips against hers with great urgency.

And amidst her burning arousal, she feels a heavy pressure down there that definitely isn't sexy. "Wait! Babe. I need to pee." She whispers and pushes her head away, the saliva on her neck feels sticky when the cool air hits it and she really just wants her cute warm girlfriend back on her.

"I don't care," she grumbles and they kiss deeply again. But Amity really needs to pee. She peels herself away mid-kiss, much to Luz's annoyed groan and she grabs her bag off of the counter to take with her. She stumbles into the bathroom, locking the door behind herself.

She practically pees her bladder out and she feels ten pounds lighter and also completely sober. Well, kind of. Maybe. Okay, never mind. She makes sure to clean herself extra good for her amazing beautiful princess girlfriend before reaching into her bag, in between her computer and textbook is her new set of lingerie. She hates wearing this kind of stuff but she knows Luz likes it. And if Luz wants it, then she does too.

She quickly pulls on her fishnets and a black school girl skirt. Then she realizes she doesn't really have a top part. She pulls her shirt off and just stays in her boring plain white bra that completely throws off the whole horny badass vibe but oh well. For now. It'll come off soon anyways, she reminds herself with anxious anticipation.

She unlocks the door and pauses when she finds Luz scuffling quickly through her bag. She stops and turns to look at Amity, raising her eyebrows. "Oh. Sexy." She says, discreetly zipping it back up.

"I want to kiss you," she says bluntly with an unprecedented urgency. Her girlfriend just looks really cute and she wants to kiss those lips right away. Luz holds out her hand and she practically flies to take it because she doesn't care. They kiss passionately, eventually stumbling against the bed. "Wait, wait, wait." She suddenly pulls away.

"What's wrong?"

"I want to be above you," she says and quickly climbs onto the bed, she stands on her knees at the edge and it gives her just an inch taller than Luz but it means everything to her. Now she has to slightly lean down to comfortably kiss her, which makes her very excited for some reason. She rests her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders and they kiss softly.

"You're really sexy," Luz says sweetly, staring at her body with a burning gaze. She can practically feel it burning holes in her chest and she loves it. Nothing makes her happier than pleasing her girlfriend. She's obsessed with her.

"Thank you babe," she smiles weakly, her sponge heart soaks up every last thing about the way she says it, the way she looks and the way she feels. Resting her arms over her shoulders, she tilts her head and looks her girlfriend in the eyes. She loves looking at her. She thinks it gets across way more than her words ever could because she's speechless. Whenever she looks at her it's with love and adoration and want. She wants nothing more than her.

She always wants what she can't have.

Luz rests a hand on Amity's hip, just above the waistband of her skimpy little badass skirt that Luz definitely thinks is hot. "You're beautiful…" she nuzzles into her neck.

"Mmm," she moans in pure happiness, placing an affectionate kiss on her girlfriend's head. "I love you so much."

They get into another heated makeout, Luz pulling completely away each time and it frustrates the hell out of Amity so she puts a hand around the back of her neck to try and keep her still but it doesn't work. "Stop doing that." She frowns.

"Stop pissing your pants over everything," she shoots back and reaches behind Amity to unclasp her bra. In a sudden motion it comes off and she gasps. Her chest comes up to Luz's face from here so she's got delicious and perfect access.

"Already?" Amity asks incredulously.

"...Yeah. What are you waiting for?"

"Nothing…" She looks away, biting her lip, feeling a bit disappointed. She was sort of hoping they'd make out and say sweet stuff about each other for a little longer. "If you took my bra off then can I take something off of you?"

"Like what?" She asks, skeptical.

She definitely wants her to be naked too… but she wants that stupid beanie gone more than anything. Stupid-dumb-red-edgy-teen-beanie. She rips it off of her head and hastily chucks it across the room with a sudden wave of anger coming over her, all for that idiotic beanie. "I hate your stupid hat," she groans.

Luz laughs. "You think it's hot," she quickly flicks her tongue around her nipple and she laughs when Amity hisses, arching her back into it. "Admit it."

"No I don't. I hate it and it's stupid and it's dumb." She says, gasping and hissing and sighing as she urgently tries to edge herself to her first of many orgasms she hopes to have but it doesn't come easy. She'll just have to be patient. "Babe," she whines.

"Can I tie you up again?" She asks softly, trailing kisses up her stomach just above her navel. Amity feels her heart ache with affection and desire, she threads a weak hand through her hair, letting her head fall to the side as she melts under her girlfriend's sweet touch.

" Yes," she tells her, makes a needy little sound. "You don't have to ask. Do whatever you want."

"You never tell me what you want," Luz says pointedly and she tragically stops kissing her body. Amity feels her biting her lip against her skin and she wonders what's got her so worked up. She wants to know.

"What's wrong my love?" She strokes her hair affectionately, biting her own lip as she looks down at her. Luz rests her face on her bare stomach, looking up at her with a contemplative frown.

"You frustrate me a lot sometimes," she says bluntly.

"You frustrate me too. I'm always feeling so confused or terrible or both. It's really annoying."

Luz looks away, concluding some thought in her head. She groans irritably and slips her hand down Amity's skirt, circling her fingers roughly over her clit. Her head immediately falls back and she jerks her hips against each wave of pleasure that Luz so begrudgingly gives to her. She doesn't know what the mood is supposed to be. But she doesn't care when this feels so good.

She suddenly stops to gently wiggle the skirt down her hips for better access. It restrains her from opening her legs but still Luz finds a way to get her tongue in just the right spot. " Babe, "

She gasps in blissful ecstasy, dutifully brushing her hair out of her face so she can continue with her amazing hard work.

Goodness, she feels like she's going to melt under all this pressure. She pants and gasps for air, moans and screams and yelps for dear sweet life. There's nothing she can do but take it. It's almost torturous, how incredible and intense it feels. The only thing she's focused on is her steady wind up, up to the top of the peak when she can finally let it all go. She wants to come as fast as possible or she might pass out from the heat of this.

Luz stops every once in a while, gives her tummy more soft kisses and they feel like little butterflies, so sweet and teasing along with the devastating pleasure of her tongue swirling round and round her aching clit. This was all worth it, the crying and the guilt and the shame and the anguish. It's all worth it just for this moment and this one only. The pressure all finally builds up and she crashes, her whole body going limp under her hand and her tongue. Her hand lets go of the fistful of Luz's hair, she can't move her hips for a split second and everything is just rainbows and serotonin.

But Luz is already onto the next thing. "Let me tie you up," she says quietly.

"Fine. But first I want to know why you always want me tied up," Amity says sternly, trying to sound assertive even if her head is still spinning and she needs a break.

Luz is quiet for a moment and then she slips her hand down her hip, squeezing the back of her thigh. "It's sexy," she kisses right above her clit again and tentatively flicks her tongue over it. Amity shivers, grabbing her hair again and pushing her away. "It's hot how you don't have a choice."

"You love how you have complete control over my body and I can't escape?"

"Yeah, pretty much,"

"I'll let you do that. I just want you to respect me." Amity says a bit sadly. "Can't you love me too?"

"I do love you."

"No you don't," she says accusingly, like it's big news all of the sudden. Now that she's not completely on edge she's starting to feel upset again. The argument, the regret, the mental anguish. She doesn't know why she's doing this anymore. "You keep saying that… but I don't believe you."

"...So what do you want me to do?" Luz groans, kisses her softly. "You're so annoying."

"Stop making me feel like shit," she gasps, Luz tugging on her nipple sends her into another whirlwind of confusing feelings. "Stop. Listen to me for one second." She demands aggressively but Luz doesn't listen. Amity groans and pushes her away once again, pushing her hand off of her because she wants to be mad, not turned on.

Luz gives her a bored look, like she's completely unamused and above all this, like she doesn't even care. And here she is, probably looking like a total idiot just wanting to be loved and appreciated. The things she does for this girl's validation. She'll do anything for it. She starts to feel antsy, not having her hands on her body. But Amity stands her ground and she stares sternly right back at her. "What do you want me to do?" She asks again, getting impatient.

"Apologize. And maybe tell me you love me," she says bitterly, feeling incredibly stupid and childish, begging for something she can't have. Luz laughs, nodding her head in disbelief.

"You're crazy."

"I don't care," she says and pulls Luz in by the shoulders again. They kiss with dreamy tenderness and Amity gladly lets herself fall back on the bed as her girlfriend starts to climb on top of her. She happily succumbs herself over to complete control of her teasing kisses and her hand that runs through her hair. It's everything she's ever wanted and she never wants it to end. She wants everything she'll give. If only she loved her.

"I'm sorry," Luz whispers and kisses her chin, then her left eye. Then her right eye. Then her cheek, then down to her jaw and oh gosh Amity's panicking. "I'm sorry," she says again.

"Babe… it's okay." She breathes out shakily and threads a hand through her hair again, hanging onto her for her sanity. And even if she's still mad, extremely confused and conflicted, it doesn't matter anymore. Because she says she's sorry. And that's good enough right? She doesn't know. It doesn't matter how she feels. If Luz loves her and is kissing her like this then that's the only thing that truly matters. "I love you. It's okay."

"Don't be mad." She says and kisses her neck. How can she even be mad? This is… heaven. She feels so helpless but she's glad about it. She wants this.

"I'm not mad. I promise."

"Let me make it up to you?" She asks and Amity's heart practically bursts. All she can really do is make a little sound, a useless, blissful mewl that comes from the immense happiness she's feeling. "Please?"

"Yes!" She gasps elatedly, absolutely overthinking the way she says it. She's practically begging isn't she? She giggles a little bit, feeling her hair tickling under her chin while she's busy twirling her tongue around her nipple. Amity thinks she's obsessed with the way it feels, how teasing and obnoxious it is, the way it makes her feel so crazy. It's like torture.

"Let me show you just how sorry I am." Luz says deviously and she sits up to give Amity this smolderingly mysterious grin, her hair is adorably messy and Amity's heart just wants to explode. And she once again finds herself speechless, helplessly excited and nervous and twenty other things at once that she can't really accurately describe. "Is that okay?"

"Fuck. Stop asking me that and just fuck me," Amity begs like an idiot and much to her immense displeasure, Luz moves off of her and scuffles out of bed. She flips on the bedside lamp and unzips her bag again to look through it. "What are you doing?" She asks, hoping she doesn't sound as annoyed as she feels.

"Hold up. I'm getting something."

"Something for what?"

"Something to fuck you with," she says casually and that shuts Amity right up. Yay. Luckily, she doesn't take too long and she hears her zip her bag up again. She sets something down on the bed before climbing back in and sitting on top of Amity again.

In the dim lighting, something shiny and metallic catches her eye. Oh god. Luz notices her girlfriend's hesitance and leans down to softly kiss her. "I'm going to tie you up now." She whispers and it sends shivers down her spine.

"Okay," she stammers. "Where are you getting this stuff from?" She asks, eyeing the strange contraption warily. Luz locks her hands in each one and then ties it up to the bedpost. And now she's deliciously incapable, her arms over her head, just the way Luz likes her to be.

"Online," she says simply, shrugging. She leans over to secure the knot, tugging at it before sitting back up. She tilts her head, looking down at her pathetic girlfriend with a smug look. Amity's heart leaps at how much she loves and wants her, her mouth dropping open. "You're such an idiot."

"I know," she whispers, nuzzling against Luz's hand, taking two fingers into her mouth, swirling her tongue around them.

"I have to punish you for being so bad today," she slowly pulls her fingers out of Amity's warm, desperate mouth and trails her saliva down to her chest. She makes a low grumble sound, sighing when Luz stops. "What's wrong?"

"I thought you were making it up to me…" she looks away tentatively, biting her lip again. "For being such a shitty girlfriend."

Luz pauses, goes back to tracing her finger lightly over her hips. "Isn't it sexier if I'm not sorry?"

"You have a point," she raises her eyebrows. "You're never sorry about anything anyways, I suppose today isn't an exception."

"You're right. Great observation, Blight." She says with faux praise in her tone, condescendingly pats her on her head like she's a dog. Amity groans and bites down harder on her lip. "Did that turn you on?" She laughs down at her.

" Fuck. Maybe..." She squeezes her eyes shut, wishing she could just crawl into a hole and die right now. She's completely stuck here, with her girlfriend on top of her and at her mercy. She loves it. "Can you hurry up?" She asks quietly.

"I want you to be a patient little pet, okay?" Luz says, laughing a little bit. She leans back down over her and brushes their noses together before kissing her softly. Amity moans, kissing back obediently, waiting for her prize. Waiting for the punchline. Then she pulls away just slightly, Luz's lips ghosting torturously over hers. "Stick your tongue out," she tells her.

"Why?" Amity dares asking, trembling with nervous excitement.

"Just do it like a good girl," she says sweetly and that's all the convincing she needs. She sucks in a deep breath and quickly sticks her tongue out between her clenched teeth, smiling anxiously. Luz immediately bites it and Amity yelps but takes it anyways. "I want to bite it off so you can't scream," she says darkly and Amity is turned on more than she's alarmed.

"You like it when I scream," she knowingly points out, making Luz pause. "It's why you hurt me so much. You like to see me in pain."

"Because you don't deserve to feel good."

"Why not?"

"You're a bitch," she says plainly, pushing her into another fervent kiss. They swirl tongues in an overwhelmingly hot makeout, it's warm and sweet and teasing. How can she not lose control and willingly offer up her body to this girl that makes her feel like a hot oven all the time, so bottled up with intense emotion? How can she not crave the way she touches her and pulls her and teases her like she's some kind of toy? How can she not love the way she feels inside of her, when she's so pent up and aching for her all the time?

She can't.

"Ready?" Luz asks gently and she pulls away to sit up again, leaving Amity with nothing to to kiss and nothing to touch. Swallowing, she nods, whimpering and twisting and arching under her touch, the gentle finger she traces along her skin. All she wants is to be touched.

" More than anything… " she sighs, trying to relax her tense muscles, clenching tightly on nothing.

"Are you gonna be good ?" She demands.

"Yes. I promise, babe. Promise, promise."

"Are you gonna behave yourself?"

"Yes, yes, yes . Babe, I will." She tries to pull her hands out of the cuffs, desperately wanting to reach out and touch her girlfriend but to no avail. "Stop making me wait." Begging, she pulls her arms. "You always make me wait…"

Luz gets this strange grin on her face like she's trying not to laugh and she pushes Amity's face to the side. She giggles, folding her top lip up and exposing her canine tooth. "You look so dumb," she says lovingly, gazing down at her with condescending amusement. "But sexy."

Amity lets out a breath, feeling incredibly stupid and picked over. She wishes they could just move on to the hooking up part. She reaches her tongue up to lick the finger holding her lip and Luz yelps, quickly pulling it away. "Fuck me," she says brazenly, daring her.

"Are you sure?" Luz asks teasingly, moving to climb off of her perch on Amity's stomach. She crawls to the edge of the bed and reaches for something, turning to flash Amity a pretty little smile to distract her. "Stop messing around."

"What!" Amity whines, getting extremely frustrated and impatient with this, tilting her chin up to peer over Luz's shoulder and see what she's up to. "What are you doing now? "

"Hold on a sec." She says, sounding focused on something. Damn light. If it were a bit lighter in here then she'd be able to see. Then she hears something click.

"What is that…?" She asks suspiciously.

Without a word, Luz crawls back over to her, a playful smile on her face. She pushes her into a deep kiss that Amity immediately submits to. But nothing could have prepared her for when she pulled away, an impish glint in her eye and she said, "I bought a strap on."

Amity isn't really surprised. Actually, she kind of expected it at some point. She giggles maniacally against her lips, pulling away to look at her girlfriend incredulously. "Oh my god babe. You got a strap on?"

"Yeah! It was like, really expensive." She starts to laugh uncontrollably.

"Then why did you buy it?"

"Because I only want the best for you." She kisses her nose softly and then as an afterthought, asks, "Do you wanna see it?"

"No," she says quickly. "I want you to fuck me with it."

"Are you sure?" She teases but this time she moves to get in between Amity's legs again and she can rest easy knowing that she wouldn't have to wait much longer. "I want you to beg me for it."

At first Amity thinks about resisting, just to get back at her a bit even if she knows it'd do her more bad than good. But then she feels something hard and big press against her entrance and she immediately changes her tune. "Fuck. Babe." She moans.

"Do you want me to go inside of you?" She asks, resting a hand on her knee and she bumps her hips slightly forward to press harder on her pulsing clit. It just slightly slips inside before Luz teasingly pulls back out again. It feels so good. She needs more.

" Please, please…" she whispers desperately at her wits end.

"Open your legs wider," she tells her sternly and she's quick to obey, trying and failing because she's so weak. So Luz helps out and pushes them open. Amity yelps in pain, trying to shut her legs but Luz keeps her open with sheer force. "I need you to be open so I can fuck you, remember?"

"Okay babe." She breathes and tenses to release the strain on her aching muscles. "Go ahead. Do it."

"What's the magic word?"

"Please. Pretty please."

"With a cherry on top?"

"Yes. Whatever you want. I love you. Give me everything." She begs, puffing her chest out in hopes that Luz will touch her. She's such a slut for her… how did she end up like this, in bed with this girl who is younger than her but makes her feel like a stupid kid… letting her use her like this. This doesn't mean anything. Somehow, that doesn't upset her as much as it used to. It's actually kind of hot, the way Luz is so shameless with her intentions. How she's so unbothered by the situation. How she doesn't hear Amity's cries.

"Do you really want this?" Luz gently strokes her clit and Amity moans, trying to get that delicious friction and tip over the edge… to her girlfriend's beautiful amazing sweet hand. The pleasure is almost too much to handle. "Or are you scared?"

"I'm not scared. Give it to me," she whines desperately when Luz uses two fingers to spread open her folds, uses her other hand to gently guide it inside of her. She hisses as it penetrates her soft walls and oh my gosh it hurts so bad and it's too big. Or rather, Amity is just tiny. She tries to take it, letting her eyes flutter closed, biting her tongue as Luz gently fucks her like the amazing girlfriend she is.

It all becomes too much to handle and she can't take it anymore, no matter how good it feels inside of her. "Red light," she says shakily.

"Make up your mind, Amity," she laughs a little bit but doesn't stop. In fact, she goes slightly faster with longer, deeper thrusts, pushing in all the way to the end where they meet, and then she slowly pulls all the way out just to tease her. "You're so wishy-washy… you can never decide what you want."

"But it hurts babe… it's too big for me." She says, apologetic and sweet, just hoping it'd ease her up a bit. But Luz has lots of opinions on Amity and she doesn't hesitate to make it known. She thinks her flaws are what Luz is drawn to most. "Please...take it out."

"I'm not stopping," she tells her, "Until you learn your lesson. This is punishment, not for fun." Giving her an especially hard thrust, it goes deep inside of her, so deep that Amity cries out in pain. "You were being really bad today. What do you have to say for yourself?" She reaches up to push her skirt away, exposing her to the sight of her tight, wet mess getting absolutely destroyed as she slips in and out at a steady, biting pace. Even if she knows this is wrong and she's nonconsenting, something about the way Luz isn't listening to her, ignoring her pleas and feelings just to use her body for her own selfish purposes … that's so hot to her and as she keeps going and going, she nears her first of many unwanted orgasms to her stubborn girlfriend that she's so head over heels for.

"I wanted your attention," she says, dizzy from the pain. "You keep...ah—… you weren't paying attention to me."

"Not everything is about you."

"I know but… you make me feel like that. It's your fault."

They keep going for a long time and really Amity doesn't have a choice. She comes so many times that she loses count, and finally after they're both well over exhausted, Luz finally pulls it out, flopping down beside her, panting for air. They both lay there for a moment in silence, Amity simmering in her guilt and regret and anger and another whirlwind of terrible feelings, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"You okay?" Luz asks after a while because she always does and Amity doesn't really know why or if she ever actually cared. She turns to press a little kiss on her temple before she sits up to untie her. When she finally pulls her arms down, her shoulders ache from being extended for the entirety of tonight.

She drops them at her sides and glares at Luz bitterly but she doesn't seem to notice. "You didn't listen to me… again."

"Shut up." She kisses her again. "We're not even done yet."

"But… I used the safe word. I don't understand." Luz sighs and she glares at Amity. "Luz, I… don't want to have sex anymore tonight."

"Why not?"

"I'm tired. And I'm mad at you."

"Right. Because you're always mad at me after we do this," she groans and stands up to rip the stupid strap-on off. Then she leaves the room to go to the bathroom, leaving Amity alone with her painful thoughts and the memories of the past few hours. She doesn't know what time it is or even where her phone is. She got so wrapped up in this that she forgot about everything else. She rolls to her side, hugging herself as tears burn her eyes and she starts to cry again. Ugh. She's tired of crying after sex. She hears the toilet flush and Luz comes stumbling back into the room. Without a word, she gets back in bed and cuddles up in front of Amity, resting her chin on her head and pulling her close as she sobs. "I'm sorry." She whispers.

"It's okay."


Amity wakes up in a panic, but like most mornings, she finds herself wrapped in her girlfriend's arms. It's comforting and sweet to know that she's still here. They had such a long night together… she bites her lip just thinking about it all again. She feels happy right now. Usually, she's filled with regret and shame, and the sound of her gentle snore or the feeling of her skin against hers doesn't help.

But this time it's different and she can't really figure out why.

This time, she wants to stay cuddled close to her. This time she hopes Luz slips her hand between her legs again when she wakes up. She hopes they can stay like this in bed all day and not worry about anything—

Amity gasps, pulling herself out of Luz's embrace and it immediately wakes her up. She winces, putting an apologetic hand on her bare shoulder. "I'm sorry babe," she says quietly, nuzzling into her neck again. "I just...I think we're late for work."

She feels Luz go rigid under her. "Oh." Is all she says. She brings a gentle hand up to pinch Amity's earlobe that's still sensitive from the bite. It sends a shock of pleasurable pain down her back and she shivers delightedly. Her girlfriend is so hot and amazing and she's violently in love with her. She loves the pain. She's so happy that her girlfriend is here right now. She wants her more than anything.

The pain is a constant reminder of just how out of control she is when it comes to Amity. She'll have a good time putting on her earrings later. Oh well.

Her mind goes blank when her hand slips up more, tangling in her messy, mint green hair to cradle the back of her head gently. It feels so good. Amity moans, letting out a contented sigh and curling closer into her girlfriend's body. Luz lightly scratches her scalp with her fingers tips, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Amity wants to fucking melt. Why is she so amazing? She literally wants to marry her right now. She will be her wife gladly for the rest of her life if that meant she could wake up to this every morning.

Extremely overwhelmed and taken by the swelling of her heart, the butterflies in her stomach and the ache in her chest, she gives her shoulder a weak little kiss. "I love you," she says shakily, the tears in her voice are apparent that she's attempting to hold back a happy sob.

"Love you too," she laughs quietly, gives her forehead another small kiss. She moves her hand out of her hair to gently hold the back of her neck. Amity loves it there most of all because it's warm and comforting and soft and so, so romantic. Sigh, she's going to be the death of her. "Let's not go today."

"Okay." Amity eagerly agrees, no questions asked, the both of them avoiding the quiet anxieties they have over the whole thing. There would probably be some repercussions for this but she doesn't really care or understand the extent of it because she's in her girlfriend's arms in her bed and they had sex last night. She pushes herself closer, as close as she can possibly get without suffocating her because all she wants is to feel her close. "Tell me what happened last night," she prompts casually, biting back a grin.

"... You know what happened last night, " she mumbles lazily into her hair.

" Mmm , you're right. I do know." She tentatively wraps her arms around her, sighing comfortably when she gets her silent approval by means of Luz's happy sound that Amity loves so much. "I'm really sore still…" she whispers.

"You're happy about it." She says pointedly. Damn her for seeing through every little thing she says. Amity whimpers happily and curls in closer . She delights over the way she gently rubs her cheek with the back of her hand, petting her softly. Goodness she's going to die.

""Why are you being so cuddly today?"

"Want me to stop?" She asks teasingly, much to Amity's panic.

"No!" She says and Luz laughs quietly. There's a comfortable silence for a long while, the two of them just laying there and enjoying each other. It's pure bliss and Amity feels like she might explode from the quiet domesticity of this perfect moment. She can hardly believe this is real. Could she be dreaming? "...Do you have the worst headache of your life right now too?" She asks, and definitely not dreaming. Damn whiskey.

"Yeah," she shrugs. "Actually, I've felt worse. I deal with this all the time. You get used to it."

"...Maybe you shouldn't drink so much," she suggests with concern in her voice. "I really worry about you sometimes…" she whispers.

"Aw," she uses a finger to push her chin up to softly kiss her lips. "Don't worry babe."

"Babe," she laughs and kisses her back, deeply. "I'm really in love with you."

"No you're not," she tells her. "You just think you are."

Amity sighs but doesn't argue back, not wanting to ruin the peacefulness of the moment. Nothing ever stays the same with Luz. They're kissing when she pulls away to roll onto her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. She feels incredibly conflicted all of the sudden. "We should get up," she sighs, ignoring the way Luz splays her hand over her bare stomach.

Or, tries to. Luz only pulls herself closer and gives her jaw a gentle kiss. "Wait," she breathes. Oh gosh. "Don't you want me to…"

"Go ahead…" She groans and gently reaches for her hand. Even after everything, she's still such a serf for her. She can't really help herself. She slips her hand down between her legs, under the stupid skirt. She's just so tired that she can't do much. She wants this and she's taking it but she's so exhausted.

It's just like always, nothing makes her feel quite as good. It's such a practiced thing that they've done for so long, the way that Luz knows exactly what to do and where to touch because she's done this so many times before. Amity feels a bit guilty about it for some reason. This girl who she's so severely in love with, the same one that makes her cry alone in the fetal position for hours. The same one that hurts her for her own satisfaction, the one that gives her such a hard time. This is what they do…

And she dips two fingers inside, shallowly rubs against her tight, warm walls that invite her in with helpless urgency. She moans, steadily grinding herself against her girlfriend's teasing strokes. Each thrust and pull aches from last night, a constant reminder of her shame. But it feels so wonderful. "It hurts so much," Amity says even as she writhes and jerks her hips with great delight, not planning to stop.

"Tell me what happened last night," Luz says gently into her ear, keeping up a fast pace for her girlfriend to grind on. Amity moans, biting her lip and squeezing her eyes tight. The thought of that makes her very tired.

"You fucked me," she falters, crying out when her fingers tip hits an especially tender spot. "And I liked it. You... mmm ,"

"I what?"

"Nothing. Just please—," she groans. Reaching down, she strokes her own clit just to help herself out a bit since Luz wanted to stop and slow down and not let her come. She forgot what it was like, touching herself. She hasn't done it in a while, not when it pales compared to what Luz makes her feel. But this is good. She rubs tight circles on the top, feeling her girlfriend's fingers charging her relentlessly. "Yes, yes, yes," she begs. "Please, please. Babe."

Luz laughs, kisses her neck and she stops when she feels Amity clench weakly around her fingers. "Out," she says, sighing with a mixture of disappointment and relief when she pulls out. "Fuck. I'm so sore from that."

"I'm sorry," she whispers, laughing. Wiping her hand off on the bed, she turns on her back and glances at Amity with a playful grin. "Do you… forgive me?"

"Of course." She gives her a look, teasingly sticking her tongue out. "You always say sorry. And I always believe you. I think that's my problem."

"Or...you're thinking too far into it?"

"I have every right. You're so confusing." She sighs wistfully. She sits up, her back screaming in protest. "I think I'm going crazy because of you."

" I think I'm going crazy because of you," Luz says mockingly, laughing. "You're already crazy. You're a craaazy bitch, Blight."

Amity turns to glare at her, a curse on the tip of her tongue. She freezes when she sees her girlfriend happily finger-fucking herself with the same two fingers she used inside of her. She instantly loses her resolve and gets incredibly turned on again. "Does that feel good?" She asks sweetly, mesmerized by the way she handles herself so hastily. It's so hot. It's so hard not to.

Luz doesn't answer.

Amity peels her eyes away, staring down with agitated nerves, biting her lip again. She needs to get up and start her day. She can't let Luz distract her anymore. Not now. She scoots herself to the edge of the bed and sits there for a moment. Contemplating her life. Thinking about her choices. How did she get here? Ugh. She stands up on her still incredibly unstable legs and she stumbles into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She avoids the mirror because she knows she looks like complete shit right now and she doesn't want to feel any worse than she already does.

Her girlfriend is right outside the door, laying in her bed, touching herself. Why didn't she just ask her to do it? She would have gladly got her sweet girlfriend off just like she did her. Amity groans, stepping into the shower and letting the warm water soothe her aching body. Luz knows exactly what she's doing. She knows exactly how to get under her skin. That's all it is. She just likes to make her uncomfortable and upset. That's what it is. Damn her.

She feels one hundred times lighter after getting the dirt of last night off her body, out of her hair and out of her mind. She doesn't want to think about her for just one second if she can help it.

She walks back into the bedroom to dig through her dresser for something to wear. Luz is laying on her side with her knees tucked close to her stomach and she's hugging a pillow to her chest. Amity doesn't say anything and neither does she. Having gotten her clothes, she heads back into the bathroom and gets dried off and dressed.

And she wants to do something for herself so she decides to put on some fresh makeup. That's when she finally gets a good look at herself in the mirror. Her eyeliner is not terrible for everything she's been through but it's extremely unflattering and she doesn't know why Luz even sticks around at all.

She makes a mental note to make it a priority to remove her makeup every night because leaving it on always ruins her skin a little bit more. She removes everything with only two makeup wipes and she's drawing concealer triangles under her eyes when Luz comes in with a towel and change of clothes. "Hi," She says hesitantly, not knowing what the mood is supposed to be.

"Hey," she grins at her, pulling her shirt off and then her bra and—Amity looks away because she does not need anything distracting her. "What's wrong? You've seen me naked before." She raises an eyebrow, tossing her clothes onto the floor and closing the curtain behind her when she steps into the shower.

"I'm trying to focus on something else other than you," she rolls her eyes, pulling her mind back to concealer. Makeup. Right.

"What was that?" Luz calls from over the curtain.

"Nothing," She sighs.

She finishes up in the bathroom and moves on to laundry. She grabs Luz's dirty clothes from the bathroom floor, tosses it in the hamper. Pulls the dirty sex stained sheets off of her bed. Her dirty clothes. She wants it all washed away and gone. Thinking about Luz right now just makes her upset. She can't really understand why. She's loading the washing machine in the hallway when said girlfriend comes up next to her and presses a warm kiss on her neck. It makes her stomach flip and she remembers how in love with this girl she is. "What are you doing?" She asks incredulously.

"Wife stuff," she says after a long moment of overthinking it. She glances at her and she does a double take when she sees that stupid beanie ontop of her head again and after a split second of should I burn it?, she snatches it off and tosses it in the washing machine as well.

Luz just laughs and pulls her in by the waist. "You're a good wife," she giggles and kisses her lips softly. It feels so good. Amity melts into it like an idiot who's under a magical spell because no person in their right mind would ever do this, let this whole thing get this far. And as she clutches onto her shoulder to keep her balance as Luz deepens the kiss, she realizes, I'm a moron.

That's why Luz likes her.

Amity pulls away, completely wound up but bothered by her sudden realization. Actually, she already knew this. It was just now that she acknowledged it. She's such a fool. She feels so stupid. Groaning, she pushes past her to go back into the bedroom. She waited because she thought she'd follow her and ask what's wrong, but no. Frustrated, Amity storms into the living room and finds Luz at the kitchen counter cutting a banana over a bowl of Cheerios. "Hi," She raises her eyebrows in question.

"Can you get out of my apartment? And stop eating up my food." She snaps.

"What's your problem?" She snorts, turning to open the fridge. Amity stews in her unprecedented anger, walking up behind her and crossing her arms. She shuts the fridge door and turns to face her with a bored look. "What'd I do this time?"

Amity blinks. What is she so mad about? Now that she thinks about, she's not exactly sure. It's more of a mixture of emotions and things she's done before. Instead, she stays quiet and decides not to get herself too worked up and just ignore it. Then maybe it'll go away. She gets a yoghurt drink from the fridge and leans on the counter, drinking it irritably beside her girlfriend who's silently eating her bowl of cereal. It's kind of awkward. She hates this. She hates Luz.

Simmering in her regret long enough, she can't stand to be next to her right now. She walks past to head back into the room when Luz stops her with a hand in her shoulder. "Does that hurt?" She asks, poking a bruise on her shoulder between her neck and Amity hisses when she does.

Shocked, she stays quiet for a moment. "Yes… it hurts a lot." She looks away, ashamed. Luz stays quiet. "But… it's okay. I like it."

"You… like it?"

Amity nods, staring at her confusedly. She doesn't know what's happening. "I… I know it's weird but. I like the pain."

Luz groans and drops her spoon, pulling Amity in for a hug. "You're so weird. I don't know what's going on with you but…"

"Can you stay here and cuddle with me all day?" She whispers into her chest. "I feel really confused right now."

"Wouldn't it help if I just left?"

"No. Please stay." She begs. "Please."

"Okay. Whatever you want." She pets her girlfriend's head.

So that's how they end up back in the bed, with no sheet because Amity forgot to start the washing machine. They're cuddled together, her head resting on Luz's chest, her arm wrapped lazily around her.

They're watching the Disney Channel. She's falling asleep, feeling safe and comfortable in her girlfriend's arms for the most part. A small part of her still feels anxious and desperate, to pull away and scream at her leave. But she loves her so much and there's nothing more that she wants. There's nothing she can do.

She's restless, despite herself.

"Luz?"

"Yeah?

"... Isn't this kind of weird?"

Luz pauses. " You asked me to stay." She reminds her irritably. She doesn't want another argument. She's still on edge herself and she needs to calm down so she takes a deep breath and places a gentle hand over hers to let her know that she's not mad.

"Babe, I just want to talk." She says gently. "Can we do that?"

"Okay. Let's talk."

Amity sits up, thinking about what she wants to say and coming up with ways to say it so she doesn't start anything. All she wants is to express to her girlfriend how she feels so that they can acknowledge it and move on with the relationship. Climbing over to straddle her, she's met with Luz's unamused frown. Amity sighs and reaches out to gently cup her face. "Just listen to me, okay?" For a long time it's quiet while she looks for the words. "I'm… miserable because of you."

Luz's eyes fall away and she sighs quietly. She feels terrible. Ugh. She lays down on top of her, they're bodies pressed comfortably together and she finally feels like she can say what she needs to say like this, not facing her. "We aren't good for each other… at all, really." She says quietly, a melancholy feeling washing over her. Suddenly, she wants to cry. "I think we should start over… and do it the right way. We can have a normal relationship." she says. "We can get to know each other."

"Get to know each other…? That's… we've been doing this for two years, Blight. I think I know you by now."

"I'm serious, babe." She gently hits her arm. "I don't really know you at all. You don't know me either. Do you even know what my favorite color is?" She asks incredulously.

"Green?"

"No." She hits her arm again, harder this time. "I think we should start going on dates more often, and actually talk to each other about something. You could tell me about whatever you want." She says and moves to gently interlace their fingers together. "I would love to meet your mom one day."

"She would like you," Luz laughs quietly.

Amity smiles, burying her face in her neck. "We could pretend we just met and fall in love like real people do. We won't have sex until we actually get to know each other and that way it's more meaningful when we're ready."

"No sex?"

Amity kisses her neck gently. "We could. But… we'd have to limit it. Once a week but better if none?" She offers hopefully.

"Twice."

"Hm. Okay. We can compromise." Another kiss. "You have to be romantic for me." She grins when Luz doesn't say anything. "I'll drive more. I'll put in as much effort as you do, I promise. I'm sorry I haven't before."

"Amity… I don't—," it's quiet for a moment. "... So basically just pretend I'm in love with you?" Luz asks and Amity's taped-together heart shatters into a billion more pieces. But she starts picking up the pieces again right away. She feels hopeless. She actually thought she was getting them somewhere.

"Basically… yeah."