She sometimes can't wrap her head around it, how she got a girl like Amity wrapped so tightly around her finger.

How did she get such a pretty girl to kiss her like this? How does she tell her it's all a joke when she gets this sick satisfaction from leading her on? Just a little longer, she tells herself. Then I'll leave her.

But how can she when Amity's so dead set on her? How can she say anything when she's so enticing with her false confidence… with how hard she tries to carry the dead weight on her back? How can she say she's not enjoying every second of it, watching her slow descent into madness with each kiss and each touch?

How can she not laugh?

She knows Amity is going to leave her, so that's why she has to do it first. She knows that if Amity ever figures out that she deserves better, and she's not fast enough, she won't have the last laugh. And that wouldn't be a very good ending to the joke, would it?

Amity's drawing on her eyeliner in front of the mirror by the door, her steady hand shaking with intense focus. That's when it all hits Luz. She knows she's all talk, Amity isn't a threat and she isn't dangerous. She doesn't need to worry about it. About her. She's tough. She always recovers after every blow, no matter how hard Luz hits.

And, Luz kind of likes the attention. She knows she's sick for it but being honest with herself, she doesn't care. Not when Amity is so close or when she's naked or when she's like this. It's amusing, that's all. She likes being begged and being sought after and she likes being the center of attention, all the time.

Well, her attention. No one's ever paid much attention to her before. Maybe, she thinks, she's as desperate as Amity when push comes to shove and she has to tell the truth. But she doesn't know what she wants out of this anymore. At first it was to make Amity suffer. What she really wanted was to make her cry.

And how many times has that happened now?

Then, it was to hurt her. To make her suffer in a way that isn't physical. Even if she liked bruising her… she wanted her to suffer with a constant thought, and now she is that thought but… does she even want to be that thought anymore, when Amity's so dead set?

She doesn't like Amity.

"Ready to go?" She asks cheerfully, smiling that pretty smile that she knows is just for her.

Luz jumps to attention, lifting her head from her hand and sitting up straight in her seat, smiling back at her beautiful girlfriend. "Yeah,"

Amity walks over to her and offers her hand. Luz looks apprehensively at it. She doesn't deserve this girl. She's so amazing, so breathtakingly beautiful and achingly better than Luz to the extent that it's almost unbelievable how this whole thing even happened. It's too bad she doesn't realize it. It's too bad she's such a stupid fucking idiot. Luz grins, quickly taking it and she stands up over Amity.

She wants to kiss her but she knows she doesn't have to because Amity is practically drooling over her already. All she has to do is wait. She bites her lip and Luz already knows. She's trying to control herself. Tentatively, she leans in and presses their lips together in an urgent, warm kiss.

And, Amity isn't hard to kiss. She learned how to deactivate her, to get her begging at her feet like a lovesick maniac. She puts a hand on her back, pushing the kiss deeper and Amity arching her back, readily melting into it. Her other hand slips up the back of her neck, combing through her hair and that's when she distracts her with kisses down her neck. She feels her go light on her feet and that's how she knows she's floating away—and that's usually when she pushes her against the wall.

But not today.

Amity grumbles, begrudgingly pulls herself out of the kiss with one last peck. She puts stern hands on Luz's shoulders and looks at her wildly, she almost looks offended. "Come on babe," she pleads a bit breathlessly. "We're doing so good. Don't make me jump you today?"

She knows she has this girl. A vindictive grin spreads across Luz's face and she ruthlessly takes another one of Amity's sweet hesitant kisses. She pulls away when it quickly turns hot and heavy again.

"I wanna kiss you," she says with little effort because she knows Amity will take anything and blow it out of proportion. "Can't I kiss my girlfriend?"

"Who's your girlfriend?" She asks playfully, biting back a smile as she struggles to push Luz away. But she doesn't want to entertain her stupid antics because she knows how insecure Amity is. She craves validation for every little thing, and if Luz doesn't give it to her then it hardly counts. That's the way she likes it because no one's paid attention to her quite the way Amity does. "Say it, babe."

Luz hums, looking off to the side. "You're my girlfriend," she says finally and then glances back at Amity. She looks so desperately hopeless. Amity quickly pecks her lips again and pulls herself out of her arms because she knows if she stays any longer then things won't go the way she wants them to. And all Luz really wants is to see her fail. And she knows that all she has to do is merely be beside her to make that happen.

Because she practically strains under the weight of it all. She sees her put a hesitant hand on the doorknob and she pauses before pushing the door open. Before walking out, she turns to flash Luz a smile. "Ready?"

And so they walk out, hand in hand, the girl and her willing victim, out on their first (real) date.

They go to some lazy cafe not too far from the apartment. Amity drives them because she thinks that'll make Luz proud of her. They're sitting in the back in front of a big window that looks out into a garden.

Amity is excited, she can tell by how antsy she is. Luz is annoyed and she makes sure that Amity knows it. She sits back in her chair, a leg crossed over the other as she sips her overly salted coffee. She likes the coffee from work better.

Amity watches her expectantly. She rests her head in her hands and leans on the table and she sighs dreamily. "So. What is your favorite color?" She asks.

Luz rolls her eyes, despite how incredibly endeared she is by such a pathetic first date question. She can't help but smile. "Green."

"Why is it green?" She giggles. Luz rolls her eyes again. She really doesn't know what Amity expects from her. Or really why they're even doing this in the first place. It's hopeless. She doesn't know why she keeps trying.

"It's the color of your hair," Luz says sweetly to her desperate girlfriend and luckily it does its job. She smiles, laughing quietly and burying her face in her hands.

"I can't believe we're doing this," she nods into her hands, then anxiously combs her fingers through her hair. "I mean…" she bites her lip. "Let's at least try. Come on. Tell me something."

"What do you want me to tell you?"

Amity thinks for a moment. "Tell me about your family."

"Uh. Okay," She shrugs and sets her mug down, leans on the table. "I have like, a million cousins." she laughs when Amity raises an eyebrow. "Okay, more like twenty."

"Do you know all of them?"

"Not all of them," she shakes her head. "I know most of them on my mom's side. But, my dad…" she shrugs.

Amity pauses. "Oh. Is your dad… ?"

"Eh. I dunno." She looks away and picks her cup back up again to brush it off. "It's whatever. What about your dad? He's probably got you a trust fund or something like that, right?"

"No." She glares at Luz. "I'm completely independent. I don't need any of their money…" she looks away. "And besides, I don't even remember the last time I've seen my dad sober."

"Is he an addict?"

"He's… yes. I guess you could say that." She shrugs. There's an airy pause while the two of them simmer in their daddy issues. "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Kind of. But hey," she reaches over the table and playfully flicks Amity's nose. "I think we should keep trying."

At that, her eyes light up and she smiles. "Really?"

"Yeah," Luz shrugs again, looking away as she sips her coffee again.

"Okay," she starts with a newfound confidence. "What's your actual favorite color?"

Luz snorts, rolling her eyes. "Be serious."

"I don't know!" She groans excitedly. "I'm not good at this stuff. I know nothing about dating or romance or…" she looks up at Luz again. "I just wanted us to understand each other better."

"I don't think I'll ever understand you," she says, only half joking. "You really confuse me sometimes, Blight."

"You confuse me too." She chokes out an anxious laugh. "I can't ever tell what you're thinking. I don't know if this is serious or just a joke to you."

"Could be both."

Amity glares at her again. "So like," she bites her lip. "Have you ever… done anything with anyone else before?"

"No." Luz raises her eyebrows. "Have you?"

"N—no," she stammers incredulously. "You were my first… you know that."

"Hm," is all she says, humming observantly. Sips her coffee again.

" What?"

"Nothing. I'll pay the bill, okay?"

"Okay," Amity hesitates. "Luz?"

"Yeah?"

"So… do you actually love me? Or am I really just…" she looks away. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to know why you'd spend so much time just messing around with me if you don't really care?"

Luz is quiet for a moment. Shit. She doesn't have anything on the ready to just tell her. She's not even sure herself. She doesn't care. She doesn't love Amity. She doesn't know!

She stares down into her cup, there's a corner left of her coffee and she tilts the cup to swish it to the other side. "Because… it's really starting to make me feel crazy, not knowing." Amity says quietly.

"I… I don't know."

The silence that followed was finally broken by Amity's delirious giggling. Luz looks at her, confused. "What?"

"I don't know either."

After their date, they go to the park. She guesses maybe this is still part of it. She glances at Amity and her heart pinched at the sight of her, blankly gazing ahead. She's wearing her beanie.

They walk quietly beside each other for a while and Luz searches desperately for something to say to her. She feels so awkward now about everything, almost ashamed. Was she supposed to act differently now that Amity was? Was she supposed to pretend that she wasn't only here for her own selfish reasons…?

Amity drifts off of the trail and she twirls around in the grass, giggling like an idiot. And Luz can't help but smile because she's so beautiful and amazing. "Come on," she holds her hand out. And in a guilt ridden haze, Luz crosses the trail to take it. They stand there in silence as they hug, Amity's face buried in her neck.

She wishes she were enough for her. What's a way to just be competent?

"I love you," Amity whispers softly, pressing a little kiss on her neck.

"I love you too." Luz tells her but she doesn't really know if she means it. She definitely feels like it, right now at least. And now that she thinks about it, she can't really remember not feeling it. She pulls back to softly kiss her lips. She holds her face in her hands and they stare at each other with a charged kind of tension in the air between them.

Amity looks so beautiful. She's so perfect. Her green hair is messy under the beanie, her soft kissable lips, her eyes and the way she's looking back at her with such captivation.

She hates her.

And anyways, she leans forward to kiss her again. And again. And again. And again.

She loves her urgency when they kiss, she loves feeling her hands tangling in her hair. She loves how Amity is so here and so willing. There's so many other things for her, so many other better options.

But instead she stays.


She doesn't know why they chose this as one of their dates because well… it definitely wasn't going to end the way Amity wanted it to. Luz knew that from the moment she walked out in stockings. The stockings were hot and Amity is hot and they haven't had sex in how many weeks?

They're at the club on their third shot. Runs from the bar and then back to the dance floor were frequent and surprisingly for Amity too. Amity was dancing, like really dancing and all Luz could really do was just stand there while her drunk girlfriend practically jumped her right here for everyone to see. "C'mon baby! Dance with me!" She says loudly over the obnoxiously blaring music. All of the words are running together and she can't really string a coherent thought together to even object her. "I'm gonna get another shot, 'kay?"

"Bring one for me?" She gives her this lopsided grin that she knows she can't resist and Amity takes it upon herself to lean in and kiss it away.

"Of course," she says and then disappears off into the crowd back to the bar. When she gets back, she's got three small shot glasses in her hand that are half empty. It's no secret what happened seeing as how she can barely walk in a straight line without stumbling. Either way, they're both happy campers because well, alcohol and each other is all they needed to have a good time.

"I feel like shit," Amity screams and tilts her head back to take her first shot. Luz giggles, quickly downing hers and she gets the strong urge to just hold her girlfriend's body close and feel her. She wants to pull her apart and make her scream like never before because she loves her so much. And she totally could have because they're in a building full of sweaty drunk people and she'd most definitely be excused for her bad behavior.

But…

After coming back from another trip to the bar to return the shot glasses, the two of them primed and ready for anything, Amity stumbles through the crowd again, crashing into Luz and wrapping her arms around her neck to keep herself upright. "Hi," She grins up at her, biting her lip.

"What?" Luz screams over the music.

"I said hi," she says much louder, pushing up on her tiptoes to give her girlfriend a sloppy, wet kiss. Luz moans and does her best to kiss back but it's like all of her senses are heightened and everything is so intense and she's really just infatuated with this idiot girl hanging onto her for dear life. Amity stumbles forward, breaking the kiss. The only thing they can do is laugh uncontrollably before she presses herself closer and they get into a softer, deeper kiss.

Luz slips a hand down her back, shamelessly reaches down under her skirt to grab her butt, squeezing it tightly in her hand. Amity yelps, thrusting herself forward and almost making her girlfriend lose her balance when she stumbles against another person. "Fuck, babe. Stop that," she warns her between kisses and much to Amity's disregarding grunt, she slips her tongue into Luz's mouth. It's warm and when she swirls her tongue around hers, she can taste each and every one of the shots she took. Good girlfriend. She's becoming so adventurous with her alcoholic endeavors.

"Hold me, babe," says Amity in a frisky voice, rocking her hips to the music, tracing her tongue along Luz's bottom lip and then nipping playfully at it. "Don't ever let me go."

"I'm never letting go," hands slipping down to her waist, she feels Amity grinding against her. Luz is filled to the brim with excitement and control, she wants to take her back. Amity's got way too much lead right now and she needs to put her back in place before she gets too carried away. She pushes Amity away and holds her face just a tickle away from hers.

"What's wrong my love?" She asks and flicks her tongue over her lips. Luz gives her a chaste little kiss and pulls away again.

"Don't get too carried away," she tells her sternly.

"I won't," she promises and immediately it's just as probable as them not doing anything tonight. "God, babe. I want you to touch me,"

"Be patient," she says and moves to hold her hips again, pushing her into a deep kiss that Amity has to arch her back under. She leans back farther as Luz pushes forward and her hands slip up to hold her face. She pinches her ear, the black studs there too. Then her hands slip up into her girlfriend's hair, clutching and pulling at it for dear life. They're like that for a moment, deeply making out like there's no one around, Amity whining and begging for more. Just the way Luz likes her.

Then a new song comes on and Amity pulls away excitedly. "Hold me," she tells her again as she starts to jump around to the beat. She gets wild and starts tossing her head around, messing her hair into a wild green mane. Luz hooks a finger in her nets somewhere near her inner thigh to keep her from flying away as she thrashes and jumps and crashes around. Their bodies press together deliciously and it drives Luz mad, how much of a total wreck Amity's being with just a couple shots. But she loves it.

And as Amity humps herself against Luz, shamelessly trying to find new angles to press up on her and rub one out right on her leg, Luz absolutely loses control. She wants to get lost in the feeling, get lost in her, make her scream and hear her cries. They get lost in the night, give into the feeling and she gets so helplessly turned on by her small little girlfriend. She's such a handful.

She jumps up and down like a crazy bitch, air bound to the beat but Luz manages to keep her hold on her hips as she jerks them around because she knows it's driving her crazy. But Luz leans in to kiss her neck and she throws her head back, clutching onto her girlfriend's shoulder and for a moment she has to stop dancing as she sucks her skin, trying to get another hickey there as fast possible. "Babe!" She whimpers in helpless ecstasies and Luz traces her finger up her arching body to gently grab her breast, squeezing it through the thin fabric. "Yes, yes," she breathes, holding her tighter. "Yes. Fuck."

"Let's do it," she says into her neck, kissing her jaw. "I can't keep my hands off you."

"Babe, no," she goes a bit stiff under her and Luz feels her hesitance again. Dammit. She thought she'd had enough shots to forget about her stupid no-sex thing. "I don't want to have sex,"

"But I do." Her hand comes down to press against her clit under her skirt, there's a huge wet spot already on her underwear. "You want it too."

"Fuck. I want it," rocking her hips against her, she anxiously bites her lip. Then she groans. "Babe. I don't want to do anything," she says apprehensively. She moans when Luz slowly rubs her finger against her entrance through the fabric, feeling her up right here on this dance floor full of other people to see because she's so out of control and she doesn't care.

"You want it so bad," Luz dares her. "Tell me what you want, babe."

"I want you inside of me," she says shakily, letting out a nervous breath. "I want you to make me lose control…"

"Let me do that?"

"Yes," she says and melts into another deep kiss. And when Luz slips into her underwear, she pulls away. "Wait, babe, no,"

"What's wrong?"

"Let's go somewhere private."

And that's how they end up trailing through the club, Luz pulling Amity along behind her past the crowds and off to the side and into the bathroom. They stumble into a stall and she pushes her against the wall after locking the door. "Fuck, I'm so drunk," she pants, letting her girlfriend unzip her dress down the front. "I can't think straight when I'm this drunk."

"Good." Is all Luz says and she peels her dress down, revealing just her bra underneath. She quickly unclasps it too and she lets it hastily fall to the ground. She takes a deep kiss from her before moving on to tease her nipple with her mouth. Amity gasps and her mouth drops open, her head falling back against the wall.

"I don't want to do this," she begs, weaving a hand in her hair, whining under her girlfriend's teasing hand and tongue. She squirms and moans as she's helplessly taken advantage of and Luz knows she loves it. That's why she isn't stopping. "Babe, we were doing so good… you were doing so good."

"I don't care about that."

"But… I care."

" You told me you wanted somewhere more private."

"I can't… please." she whispers. "Please stop."

"Make up your mind. Tell me what you want." She stops and Amity whimpers disappointedly. She rolls her eyes because she already knows Amity. She already knows what she wants. "You want this as much as I do."

" Fuck. You always do this to me, babe. You always make me choose." she cries. "I can't choose."

"Then don't."

"Just… please."

Luz slips her hand under her skirt again and hooks a finger on her underwear to pull them down. They slip down her stockinged legs, leaving her exposed. "Tell me what you want." She tells her again sternly.

"Go inside of me…"

Luz slips her two fingers inside of her entrance, her soft, warm walls pulling her in with slick ease. Amity moans and drops her head back again, clutching onto Luz. "Like this?" She asks sweetly, slowly slipping in and out of her, pressing tightly against her clit.

"Yes. Don't stop," she begs and more tears roll down her face despite her rocking hips and her jagged breaths. "Don't stop, babe."

"You wanted this all along," she says pointedly and tries spreading her fingers apart inside of her to stretch her out a bit but she's too tight to do it without making her scream a little bit. Later. She'd really stretch her in the privacy of Amity's bedroom.

"I've been aching for you…" she laughs a little bit and it comes out like a sob. "You know that."

"Why didn't you wanna have sex?"

"I wanted to save it for us… for later." She hesitantly traces her own hand down, combing slowly through her pubic bush before gently circling her fingers over top of herself. She sighs, bringing her other hand up to tease at her nipple. "But you don't care about anything."

"...Touching yourself?" She raises an eyebrow and fucks her a little faster, in and out in a mesmerizing rhythm of Amity rocking her hips, swirling her fingers faster, squeezing her breast harder as her breathing gets faster and louder.

"You never trust me with anything…" she trails off in ecstasy, moaning carelessly loud. "All you want to do is fuck me. You don't even love me, do you?"

"Nope. I hate you." She laughs. "You're so fucking stupid. You know that?"

"I know. I'm such a fool…" she gasps and Luz feels her clenched tightly around her fingers. "You always do this to me…"

"Because I like seeing you like this," Luz tells her sweetly, watching her beautiful girlfriend. "I like being in control of you."

"Babe," she hisses, arching her back and squeezing her eyes shut. "Please take it out."

"I think you like it when I'm inside of you." She insists still, keeping her fingers in and pushing them deeper inside of her. Amity relaxes around her with a shivery moan, allowing her to slip in even farther. Then she tries again to spread her fingers apart but she's just so tight that she can barely do anything. "Fuck. You're so hot babe."

She hums in response, sucking in a deep breath. "It hurts so much."

"You like it."

"Please babe. I'll do anything you want. Please just take it out." She tries to rock her hips forward but flinches in pain, rushing to stay as still as possible. Luz raises an amused eyebrow, goes deeper, eliciting a pained yelp from her girlfriend. This gives her such a rush of something, having her so worked up, seeing her like this.

She's so indecent and in trouble and this is wrong but Amity is wearing stockings so what did she expect? She's hot and Luz wants— no, needs to hurt her.

But she thinks this is her favorite of all the things she's seen and done to her. Her face flushed red from the alcohol, her bra completely discarded and her small breasts exposed. Her skirt hiked up and clutched in her hand. Her panting and gasping for air, struggling to keep quiet because they're in public. Her fingers pushed deep inside of her as tears of agony rolled silently down her face, ruining her perfect eyeliner.

She's so broken.

Suddenly feeling incredibly horrible, Luz quickly pulls her fingers out and much to Amity's painful scream at the fastness of it. She looks away, guiltily wiping her fingers off on the front of her own shirt, her girlfriend's shameful fluids soaking into it.

Amity tentatively wraps her arms around Luz, pulling her in and burying her face in her chest. She gently pats her back as she sobs deeply into her shirt, her shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry," Amity croaks out, sounding completely broken. "You wouldn't listen…"

"...Sorry," Luz rests her chin on her head, messy green hair in her face.

They take a taxi back home because they're much too drunk to do anything else. Walking causes Amity so much pain that she cried just walking out to the parking lot. She'd make it up to her with her tongue later. This time, she'd make sure to control herself and go extremely slow and gentle, just the way she deserves. Luz is glad now because she's asleep, her head resting on her shoulder... she snores quietly.

She looks down at her with a flurry of feelings rushing inside her chest. Guilt and shame. She remembers her tears and screams. Despite everything, it still brings a little smile to Luz's face, how pathetic and incompetent her little girlfriend is. Mine, she thinks like a possessive freak, combing a hand through her wild hair.


They'd had a long day and the question on whether or not they were going to have sex hung unpleasantly in the air, like it was an option.

But Luz was tired and she didn't really care that much anymore, not for now at least. She kicked off her shoes and climbed into Amity's bed like it was hers and she lived here and paid the rent.

She sat up for a while and aimlessly scrolled through her phone to take her mind off of things. Her and Amity had argued on the way back. Well, Amity cried and Luz said terrible things to her that she probably didn't really mean. Some of them she did, like how she doesn't love her, even if she's a bit confused on that one herself.

Amity quietly walks into the room and Luz quickly glances up at her, flicking her eyes back down to her phone and scrolling casually. The silence is confusing and sad but already she knows Amity forgives her. She doesn't need to be sorry when she knows Amity already forgives her. She doesn't have to feel guilty or try to be better when Amity doesn't want her to.

She stands stiff in front of her dresser, slipping her jacket off and tossing it over the chair in front of her mirror. She slips out of her shoes, her pants and then her shirt, leaving her in her underwear. "... I'm sorry," she says hesitantly, still facing the wall. "I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad." Luz supplies quickly, a bit unsure. And even if she doesn't have to… she always feels a bit guilty, no matter how much she wasn't willing to admit she was wrong. Amity being the one who cracks first is just the way it was. It was just to get back on Luz's good side so things could go back to normal. It's just so pathetically typical of her and every time it feels worse, the burning shame in her chest knows that she only does it because she thinks the only way to fix this is to have sex. "Are you mad?"

And Luz can't really blame her. Even if sex doesn't fix this problem, it works for the moment.

"I'm not."

"You definitely were."

"I was," she admits. "I have every right. You don't treat me very nicely."

Luz rolls her eyes, pressing the button on the side of her phone to turn it off and then tossing it to the side. "You don't treat me that good either." She says.

"I know…" she hugs herself, turning to face the bed and their eyes meet. She sighs defeatedly and crawls into bed as Luz watches her with a raised eyebrow. She doesn't lay down but instead stands on her knees over Luz's lap. It's quiet for a moment as she contemplates something and then she walks her fingers up her shoulder, smiling gently. Luz hates how much she loves this girl. It's insane and every touch burns with shame. She knows she shouldn't put her hands on this stupid kid who has no clue what she's doing or getting herself into every time they do this.

But she was practically asking for it.

"Babe?" She asks sweetly and tilts her head to the side, her pretty green hair framing her sad face. Her hand moves to gently hold the back of her neck. She wants her so bad. But she doesn't have the words to say it, so she does it with a touch. Amity flinches when she puts a hand on her hip, but it clears everything up for her and she tentatively slides down, straddling her girlfriend. They stay like that for a quiet moment and the whole time Luz can't bring herself to look her in the eyes.

She hears Amity take a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "I was just upset that my plan didn't work out… " she says quietly and slips a lazy hand through her hair, holding her gently. And even if she feels intensely guilty still, it doesn't really matter because Amity's okay with it and if she doesn't care then why should Luz? Because she doesn't care and she doesn't want to care but she still feels like a complete idiot and she just wants to curl up in a ball and die. "I'm sorry."

"You can't plan stuff like this," she tells her sternly, leaning forward to bury her face in her idiot girlfriend's neck. She smells so good, like her coconut shampoo. Her soft, warm skin. The gentle hand that strokes comfortingly on her head. Even if she feels guilty, it's okay.

"I know. I should have known…" she laughs a little, resting her chin on her head. "I'm so confused."

"About what?"

"About… everything. I don't know what's going on or what you want from me or what I should do..." she trails off distantly. "I'm trying to figure out how to get out of this. Away from you."

Luz is quiet for a moment, lets her eyes flutter closed with the full intent of falling asleep like this in her girlfriend's arms, her warm body sitting on top of her. She doesn't know if she should be concerned about anything Amity's just said because she says it so often that it's sort of lost its meaning. She doesn't know if she should even acknowledge it anymore. "You're just stupid." She tells her very candidly with a little kiss on her shoulder to ease the ache a little bit.

Amity responds with a needy little moan. " Yes," She's turned the cheap insult into something completely unprecedented and Luz is almost endeared by it. She thinks her girlfriend has a thing for being talked down to because it almost always results in what exactly is about to happen. "I'm very stupid. That's why this is so easy for you."

"You're the easiest thing I've ever done," she assures her sweetly and brushes some of her hair away from her neck so she can kiss it—maybe put another hickey there too. She knows Amity will let her. "...you're not exactly hard to convince."

"You don't ever need to convince me on anything ," she hisses when Luz presses a sloppy kiss on her collarbone and then trails up her neck. She pauses on her jaw, brushing her lips there to tease her. "You know how weak I am when it comes to you."

"Why did you let yourself get like this?" She kisses softly up her jawline and then flicks her tongue on her earlobe. Amity shudders, whimpering. "You're so careless."

"You make me that way…but I don't care."

"I know you don't. You're destroying your own life." She nips her earlobe, then moves back down to her neck when Amity tilts her head back.

"No. You're destroying my life." She sighs, helplessly out of control. "And… the crazy thing is… I want you to."

"You're crazy. You shouldn't say things like that."

"I don't care," moaning, she clutches her hair as she presses soft, lazy kisses up her neck, light like butterflies. "Ruin my life." She says it like a challenge. And Luz likes a challenge. Easy challenges with great prizes even more than that.

"Don't say that." she warns her.

Amity leans in, pressing their bodies closer and she arches back slightly when she bites down on the spot between her neck and shoulder. She tilts her head and pulls her hair over to the side as she begins to gently rock her hips on her girlfriend's lap. "I just thought that… if I tried to fix it then things would get better."

"Things aren't gonna get better. You know that." She says grimly. "You don't want them to."

"You're right."

"I know I'm right, babe. You don't even know." Amity gasps and she knows it's the smoke in her voice that excites her. Even if she feels like an incompetent cry baby, at least this is doing it for Amity. It's almost funny how stupid her little girlfriend is. "You want me to keep hurting you. You want me to take everything from you."

"You're right babe. I want it," she cries. Satisfied, Luz laughs, just absolutely baffled by this crazy person she has at her mercy like this. She doesn't know how she did it, end up in bed with this girl.

"You want me to destroy you. Because you're sick. There's something seriously wrong with you."

"I know, " Amity's hands search desperately for somewhere to grab, she clutches Luz's shoulders, slips down to her arm. "Babe, please."

"You need help."

"I know. But I don't want to do anything about it." She whines. " Not yet. "

Luz rolls her eyes and gently pulls her bra strap down her shoulder, kissing there too where it covered. She wants to kiss every inch of her body and feel and take everything. She wants her humanity and her happiness and her laughter and all the things in between to be hers. She wants to make it taste like love.

That way it hurts even more when she leaves her.

She traces a finger up her side, a hand to gently hold her breast. She feels so soft and warm that it's intoxicating. A sudden wave of possessiveness washes over Luz and as she kisses tenderly on her smooth skin, getting so turned on by Amity's quiet gasps and whines and her begging. Ugh, the begging drives her wild. She thinks she wants to just snap her in half and watch her suffer.

"But… don't you think we should break up?" Luz asks softly, relishing in Amity's little whimpers and moans.

"Absolutely yes, but… not yet." She says it in a breathless whisper, trembling very gently under each ticklish kiss and lick and touch. Like they've got any time left at all. "Can we have sex?"

"Because that's all you want me for."

"I know. I'm sick and I'm out of my mind." She says, sounding a bit ashamed despite how thoroughly she's enjoying this slow wind up. But Luz has something better in mind to make it all pay off beautifully. "I want you to keep using me."

"...We keep using each other." Luz pauses and then laughs quietly. Each little noise she makes is driving her insane. The heaviness of her breath and each time she rolls her hips and leans into her touch, getting lost under her fingers that trace her and the hand that holds her gently. The way they feel up against each other like this. It's making her a bit stuffy and distracted. "All for what?"

"For sex." Amity says simply.

"That's how I know you don't love me." Luz says sternly. "You just love how I make you feel."

"How can you tell me how I feel?" she sighs, pulling away to glare at her. "You don't get to do that, Luz."

"I can do whatever I want," she raises her eyebrows, daring Amity. "It's not like you're doing anything about it."

"I hate you."

"And yet you're still here."

"God. Fuck you." They kiss angrily and Luz bites down hard on her lip, pulling it with her teeth. Amity moans in pain, pulling away when it becomes too much. "Stop doing this to me." She huffs, close to tears.

"I'm just gonna keep hurting you." She says affectionately. "And you're gonna let me."

"I don't care. Hurt me as much as you want."

She melts under her soft tongue trailing up her neck and then her wet, sloppy kisses. "I want your worst. Don't hold back." She whispers, gently pulling at her hair.

"You need to make up your mind."

"If you get it out of your system then maybe we can just move forward with this. I don't want you to be mad at me anymore."

Luz sighs. What is she even talking about? "Can you lay down for me babe?" She asks her gently while she pulls her bra strap lower and Amity helps to pull her arm out of it.

"I'll do anything you want," she says lovingly with sadness in her eyes. She pulls her other arm out of her bra, leaving it still on her but below her chest, the shoulder straps hanging uselessly to the sides. "Can you tell me you love me?"

"I love you." Luz leans forward and presses a sincere, chaste kiss to her lips, trying to sound as earnest as possible because she at least owes Amity that much. And though she's unsure most of the time, she is most definitely in love with her right now. She wants to be with this Amity. The desperate, gentle girl who just wants her. All she wants is her but she won't let her all because she can and it's fun to watch her cry sometimes.

" Again ," she whispers.

"I love you. Amity?"

"Yes my love?"

She takes another quick kiss. "Love you."

"I love you too baby," she reaches up to gently hold Luz's face and she rests her forehead against hers. "I'll always be here, waiting."

"What are you waiting for, princess?"

Amity is quiet for a moment and she takes a deep breath. "I'll wait as long as you need if it means you'll love me."

She doesn't know if she should care about anything Amity's just said.

She doesn't know what to say.

Instead, she puts a gentle hand on her girlfriend, just below her bare chest and she leans forward to kiss her deeply again. Amity just slightly bends back under it, her eyes fluttering closed as she passionately kisses back. She feels her soft chest pressed against hers and as they swirl tongues she discreetly slips her hand up to feel her. Not that she needs to be discreet about it, it's not like Amity minds much. She has every right as much as she does to her own body. They pull apart, breathless and disoriented from the gentle moment so that Luz can demand of her again. "Now lay down, okay?"

Amity nods and silently obeys, taking a pillow to place behind her head before she lays back on the bed, looking expectantly at her girlfriend. Luz looks over her body, naked except for her underwear and bra still around her. She notices the bruises on her legs and around her nipple. She remembers biting her there and how much Amity screamed when she pierced the sensitive skin there. Their eyes meet and Luz grins fondly, playfully flicking her there on her nipple. "Good girl," she tells her sweetly.

"Only for you," she bites her lip, her eyes anxiously following Luz's finger that traces down her stomach and over her damp panties. "What are you going to do to me?"

Luz hums and then says, "Don't worry your pretty little head, okay?" pulling her panties down on one side, Amity's hair becomes visible when it springs out from under the fabric and Luz takes it upon herself to comb her fingers slowly through its tangled mess. "I'll make sure you feel so good. I'll give you exactly what you need."

"You know exactly what I need, don't you?" She moans, steadily rolling her hips under each stroke through her hair. After every successful comb through, Luz starts lower to run her fingers through again, disturbing Amity's excited, wet clit. "You know what I want."

"I do know what you want," she lovingly assures her. "And I'll give it to you exactly how you need… if you're patient. Got that, Blight?"

"I understand." She says dutifully.

Giggling quietly to herself at the sight of her pathetic girlfriend, she feels bad for just a second. And then she goes back to being incredibly turned on, being so in control makes her feel something complicated that she can't exactly explain. She just wants to see her in tears, begging for it. She wants it so bad. But she knows Amity wants it even more.

"Amity?" She asks sweetly. She responds with a breathy little sound that makes Luz feel like a maniac. She loves her girlfriend's noises and her helplessness. She loves how she hands herself over so willingly just for sex. Just for her touch. Does she have no morals or standards? Does she have any idea how bad this is for the both of them? Somehow, Luz has the audacity to feel used just as much as Amity. And even if she knows she hasn't felt the extent of it, not all of the torture she's put her through, she feels a little bitter somewhere buried under all of the bad thoughts and feelings she has for Amity.

Does it help if she knows that's selfish of her? No matter how many times Amity tells her that she loves her, she can't quite believe it, not fully. Because she knows she loves her hands, the fingers deep inside of her and making her feel so good. The same ones making her scream and cry of pleasure and pain. She knows she loves the parts that make her feel good. She can't possibly love her, because she's a terrible person and the bad ultimately outweighs the good at the end of the day. The sex is for a night. The terrible things she's said and done to her are forever.

If she loves Amity then why does she want to hurt her so bad?

Suddenly, she stops everywhere with one more kiss and then pulls away, leaving Amity panting for air, her hair splayed messily behind her. Her mouth drops open and she looks wildly at her girlfriend. "What's wrong my love?" She whispers, reaching up to gently hold her face.

Luz looks away, trying her best not to burst out laughing. She's so incredibly cute and desperate that it's almost sad to watch. Amity makes a little sound, leaning up just to brush her lips gently in a sloppy almost-kiss because it's the best either of them could manage. It turns fervent and deep and passionate in a matter of seconds and Amity falls back down under her girlfriend's gentle force, readily melting under her touch.

"Babe," she whines, letting out a breath to steady herself. "You're all I want. I don't know what to do."

"Tell me what you want then." She says quietly. "Because… I don't know."

Amity looks up at her with desperate eyes. "Touch me babe," she begs urgently. "I want to feel your hands on me."

Luz sighs again. She's so confused and conflicted and all these things. Amity's never going to be satisfied but all she wants is to feel her hands on her. Luz buries her face in her girlfriend's neck and gently traces her hand down, touching her and caressing her and tracing her because she doesn't know what else to do. "Is this good?" She asks her softly.

"Mhm," she feels Amity nod and she puts a gentle hand on her girlfriend's head as she relishes under her touch. "I want you to make me come. I was so close."

"Okay," she sighs and traces her hand between her legs. She lazily swirls her fingers over her clit, pressing a kiss to her neck as she moans feverishly, squirming under the thoughtless motion from her girlfriend. She comes with a contented little moan and her whole body relaxes from its tense state as she basks into the afterglow. Her clit feels so soft and wet, happy from the orgasm it just received. She's glad she could make her feel good even if it's just for a little while. "Better?" She asks and just for fun, slips deep inside of Amity's entrance to fuck her tight, insatiable walls.

Amity shivers from the feeling of it and she reaches down to soothe the pain of Luz's rough fingers. "That felt so good, babe." She whispers, biting her lip. "Please… stop. That's hurting."

Luz kisses her neck again and begrudgingly pulls her fingers out of her cute, tired girlfriend, wiping her sticky arousal off on her tummy. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. That was really hot. You always make me feel so good…"

Luz grimaces, pulling away to lay on her back beside her naked girlfriend, their shoulders pressed together. "We failed."

"That's okay. We'll try again tomorrow?"

"Sure. But it's not gonna work."

"I know." Amity sighs.


Because they can't keep their hands to themselves and because they're incredibly drunk, they fail once again. And right now it's not a very big deal in Amity's head, it's actually the best idea she's had all day. Of course, she has such a beautiful amazing girlfriend and of course she should have sex with her. Why wouldn't she have sex with her hot girlfriend? It's almost laughable when she thinks about it. Why was she actively trying not to do it?

And then another part of her knows—she knows she's going to regret this. She tries and tries to resist her even as they make out, she tries to kiss the feelings aside and focus on the bigger picture. She tries to not think too much about her girlfriend's lips or her hands or her tongue. She tries to get herself away and in control again. But that's a little hard when she's had six too many shots of whatever it was Luz convinced her to drink.

She somehow gets out of her grasp and tries to run away. There aren't many places she can go seeing as how they're in her apartment and it's tiny and she doesn't have the mental capacity to do anything too elaborate like telling her to leave.

She escapes to her bedroom and she stumbles onto her bed because she can't even walk in a straight let alone do—whatever it was that she was trying to do. She has a mini panic attack right there on her bed and she tries to pull her thoughts together so she can actually speak and stand up for herself. She's never drinking again. She's never letting herself get this bad with Luz around anymore. She hates being unable to hear her own thoughts. She hates alcohol and she hates, hates, hates Luz.

She gasps when Luz stumbles into her room, her mind's gone delirious and even more chaotic than before. She hates how Luz makes her. She hates how much she loves her. She hates how much of a mess she is for her. "Hi babe," she says restlessly watching her with an uneasy tremble. God, she hates how trapped she is. Her girlfriend closes the door, locking it with a gentle click. And then she turns to face Amity, watching her from the bed.

"Hey," she grins cheerfully, sounding very much so like she's drunk. "I wondered where you went. I missed you."

Amity's heart shatters a bit. She never meant to make her feel that way. She kind of missed her too for the few minutes they were apart. Head spinning, she pulls herself up to sit on her knees and she looks at her girlfriend who's still standing by the door, wobbling on her legs. "I missed you too," she says lovingly and reaches a hand out to her. Everything clicks into place when Luz takes it and closes the enormous gap that once separated them and it all makes sense. Her hand in hers, she thinks she feels her warmth and her love just from the simple touch.

Now standing in front of Amity on the bed, Luz lifts a hand to cup her face and pull her into a deep kiss. Amity moans into it, letting their tongues dance together. She doesn't know why she's ever wanted to not do this. She feels like such a fool, a stupid idiot for letting herself be like this. But at the same time she can't deny the way she feels being hers. She likes being controlled and told what to do. She likes living for someone who finds some use for her. The whole thing is shameful and dirty and wrong but she doesn't care.

"Amity?" Luz asks quietly and she shivers from the way it sounds. She knows this is the part where things fall apart again.

"Yes my love?" Amity answers obediently and she wraps her arms around her girlfriend's neck to pull her closer.

"Can you do me a huge, huge favor?"

"Anything for you. You know that."

Luz laughs and puts a hand on her arm, leaning forward to press a grateful kiss on her lips. "I want you to take off all your clothes."

"All of them?" She asks incredulously, swallowing back her nervousness.

"Yes. Right now." She leans forward again and bites that smile right off her face, nipping at her bottom lip and swiping her tongue across her top lip and it elicits a sensuous, deep moan from Amity. "Don't make me wait, Blight."

"I want you to beg me for it. Show me how bad you want it." She tells her sternly, keeping her eyes trained on her girlfriend's. She loves how she can just feel her impatience and annoyance.

"You don't get to make me beg." She says belligerently and she lunges for another kiss that's somehow frustratingly soft but angry and authoritative. It knocks the wind out of Amity and she leans back the deeper Luz pushes her, kissing back roughly to assert herself and bug her a little bit. She pulls back to look at her sternly and Amity only mirrors it. Then she kisses her again, their lips brushing softly when she says, "Be good."

"What will you do after I take my clothes off?"

"I'll hurt you for being bad."

"I don't want you to hurt me," she pulls back a bit before Luz can kiss her again. "You get too carried away sometimes."

"Then I'm breaking up with you."

"Babe, no," Amity's tone immediately turns desperate and she rushes to please her girlfriend. "I was just kidding." She yelps when Luz roughly pushes her down on the bed, falling on her back.

"Then do it now." She warns, staring down at her as she fumbles the zipper on her jacket. "I want to see you completely naked."

"Okay babe," she says obediently. She tosses her jacket aside, hurriedly slips out of her top, unclips her bra and tosses it too. And with shaky hands she struggles out of her pants. Pulls her socks off, peels her underwear off of her wet crotch and throws them away, all under the intense scrutiny of her girlfriend. Now exactly the way she wanted her, she meets her gaze expectantly.

"Spread your legs," she says. Amity gets a rush of arousal, quietly obeys and slowly opens her legs, exposing her aching clit to her girlfriend. The idea of being so uncovered and vulnerable excites her a bit and the thought of her hands touching her wherever and however she pleases builds the sweet anticipation in her chest. "Why do you get to be so beautiful?" She looks over her naked body with sad, envious eyes, stopping brazenly between her legs.

"Babe," Amity croaks, looking up at her with desperation in her eyes. Just laying here and doing nothing is making her incredibly impatient. "I'm yours. You don't need to be jealous, remember?" She tries to comfort her.

"Touch yourself," she demands, pointedly ignoring her.

"But babe… I don't like doing that." She bites her lip anxiously, her eyes falling away because she suddenly feels ashamed. She knows there's no way to get out of this— Luz is going to make her touch herself no matter what. She hates doing it, she hates feeling herself and she hates herself after she does do it, the few times she's had to resort to it. It makes her feel so uncomfortable and wrong in her own skin and she'd much rather just let Luz do that kind of stuff for her. "I'll do anything you want."

"I want you to touch yourself."

She sighs and slowly slips her hand down between her spread legs, gives herself a gentle test stroke. It's just as bad as she remembers. She bites down harder on her lip and closes her eyes and starts to pleasure herself at a steady pace. Just get it over with. She moans, pulsing and aching under her own stubborn hand. Even though she feels so terrible doing this, the one thing she appreciates about it is being able to give herself exactly what she needs. She doesn't have to worry about sudden stops or unwanted touches. It's kind of nice. "Are you enjoying this?" She asks weakly to her girlfriend who's watching so intently, seemingly mesmerized by the tight circles she massages herself with.

"Mhm. Good girl," she purrs. "Keep going until you make yourself come."

"I want you to make me come…" she sighs, whining under own touch. She imagines it's Luz making her feel this intense guilt and pleasure, pressing so tight against her favorite spot. She thinks about how Luz knows exactly where the spot is, and how she'd probably force her two fingers deep inside her to hit it just right until she's forced to come. Slipping her own two fingers inside of herself. Just the feeling of her own warm, soft clit closing tightly around herself turns her on even more. Luz would probably do this to her. So she goes much faster and harder and even though she hates it and it hurts and she wants to stop, Luz wouldn't stop so she doesn't either.

She lets out a frenzied yelp, her eyes flutter closed again and just for a moment she feels dizzy with shame and pleasure until she hears her girlfriend call her. "Keep watching. I want you to see what you're doing to yourself."

"Babe," she whines. "I can't look. I really don't want to do this."

"Keep going," she says and quickly pulls her shoes off to climb in bed. Amity gets excited, flushed with relief for a split second when she thinks Luz is finally going to do something and take her out of her misery. She lays down right next to her and unbuttons her pants.

"I want you to touch me." She whispers. "You know how much I hate doing this."

"Keep going," she says again, turning to press a kiss to her temple. "For me?"

Amity sighs and pulls her fingers out of her aching clit. She can't do it for very long periods of time. "Please, babe." She begs.

Luz just grins and shoves a hand down her own pants, uses the other one to flick Amity in the face. "Stop being such a baby," she laughs. "Now keep going. I was really enjoying watching you."

"Was it hot?" She bites her lip again.

"Mhm. Really hot. You made me wet, babe." She kisses the side of her face again before she curls up next to her and buries her face in the side of Amity's neck. "Now, please…"

It suddenly dawns on her that Luz is practically begging her for this. And that turns her on more than anything. She's never been begged before… " Babe," she whines, insisting still and hoping she can get some more out of her because she's addicted to the feeling now.

"Touch yourself babe. Please, please?"

"Beg me." She says sternly. Luz groans but then reaches her hand between Amity's legs and gives her a rough, chastising little stroke. It feels so good and so bad that she yelps and tries to get off from that touch alone but sooner than she wanted, Luz stops.

"Come on babe?" She grins at her.

"What will you give me if I do it?"

"... Whatever you want."

Amity relishes at the idea of that, whatever you want. Even if she most definitely didn't mean anything by it and probably just said it in her list ridden brain, Amity was going to hold her to that. "Promise?" She asks, skeptical.

"Promise," she assures her, gently kissing her neck. "I wanna see you make yourself feel good."

"I will, babe." She whispers and with a deep breath, she reaches back down between her legs to touch herself. At first it's revolting and it makes her want to die, but with each stroke and touch and swirl, she warms up to her own hand. She feels Luz's breath hitch and she moans quietly as she touches herself too. She really doesn't get the point of this. If they have each other then why should they have to touch themselves? Though it does have a certain appeal to it… she still hates it with a passion but if Luz likes it then she guesses she can put up with it for a bit.

"Good job," says Luz quietly into her neck in a blissful mewl. "You're doing sooo good, Amity."

"Thanks babe," she says, whimpering miserably. She hates this so much but why is she so turned on? She's so ashamed and guilty and jealous of her girlfriend pressed up against her, getting off to her own misery. It was a new kind of twisted and it was really turning Amity on against her will.

She can't take it anymore so she fakes an orgasm. She was already wet enough to pass, she thinks. After a moment, she whispers, "Babe."

"Did you come?" She asks sweetly and kisses her gently again. Amity shivers from the lightness of it, how completely unsatisfied she is.

"Yes," she hesitates before moving to sit up, suddenly feeling intensely uncomfortable being next to her. "I did what you wanted. I was good."

"Good girl," she chirps, smiling up at her and reaching a hand up to lazily slap Amity's face. "You get a reward."

"What is it?" She asks breathlessly, her heart skipping in her chest.

"When I go to the store I'll get you a gold star," she says and then pauses. "Unless you had something else in mind?"

"Another date?" She asks shakily, pulling her knees to her chest and staring blankly at the stained sheets. For a moment, she thinks about reaching down and finishing the job as quickly as possible because being this turned on was a new kind of torment that she never wanted to feel again.

"Sure, I can take you on another date. That's easy." She says, almost as if to brag. "Dating you is easy."

Amity lets out a bitter little chuckle, looking away.


She feels so vulnerable and exposed under her gentle touch, the way she handles her with such care. It's almost jolting, how soft and slowly she's being with her tonight. But Amity won't ever complain about it because this is what she craves, the special, quietly intimate atmosphere of the room. Neither of them have said anything yet but Amity likes it because there's a kind of quiet understanding between them in the comfortable dreamy silence as she moans and whines under her girlfriend's lovely touch.

And she doesn't mind the way that she's naked against Luz, who is still fully clothed just like always. It pales compared to this new type of pleasure that she's feeling. She thinks that, maybe Luz finally understands. She likes the gentle press of their chests as they softly make out in teasing little kisses that only winds her up more. She likes the way Luz traces her bottom lip with her tongue, how warm and wet she is. The quiet sounds of their wet kisses is almost as endearing as the hand gently holding her where her back arches as a helpless way of trying to stomach all of the intense things she's feeling right now.

And everything is a ghost of a touch tracing gently on her skin, the anticipation and disappointment of it is what gets her excited more than anything. She likes how Luz is so careless, how she touches and grabs like she's hers which— she supposed she was. She wants to be hers. She's given every inch of herself, every tear and every thought is hers. There's nothing she wants more than to be in her arms like this, feeling her close and taking her touch and knowing that she has her at least for now. She wants to please her and be something for her, even if it's temporary and just her pass time, something she does when she's bored.

She likes how Luz pays more attention to her. When they have sex, it feels weirdly disconnected. Like it's a task that they do and don't really think much of it. It's supposed to be intimate and romantic and fulfilling and special, but to them it's sort of lost its meaning. All the time, it's rough and angry and sad and she feels like she has to do it that way when really, she prefers to take it slow and enjoy each sensation and every little touch and kiss and sound.

That's why she likes it when Luz licks her as a show of affection, as if kissing isn't enough for her anymore. She likes it when she teases her, deliberately brushing against her nipple, biting her neck and nibbling at her chin. All of the slow, teasing strokes, the foreplay and everything else in between that makes Amity so very happy and Luz knows it.

But of course, there's always a reason for everything Luz does.

Amity's feeling so special and loved and cared for that she thinks she can come just from the idea of it. She smiles as Luz licks around the sensitive skin on her nipple, she combs a hand through her short brown hair, it's so soft and she thinks she can cry from how beautiful her girlfriend is. She feels so amazing, having her here like this, pleasuring her so good just like she always does.

She bites her lip and lets her eyes flutter closed, dropping her head back against the wall. She starts to get into a slow and steady rhythm that Amity starts to steadily rock her hips to. She absolutely should not be this turned on by something so simple and yet here she is, she feels herself getting so tight and wet down there with helpless arousal that she takes with such grace.

So that's why it comes as a shock when she feels Luz stop. "I want to hurt you," she whispers into Amity's ear. It sends a shiver down her spine, an ache between her legs. She doesn't want to be in pain anymore. Not now. Not when she was feeling so good. "Please babe?"

"Okay." She agrees hesitantly, swallowing hard. She's mainly disappointed by the way her hesitation went unnoticed, but the soft kisses of approval up her neck made up for half of it. The other half was made up by the hand that massages her aching clit excruciatingly slow. "How do you want to do it?" She asks, wanting to get an idea on how sore she would be for the next few days.

"What do you want me to do?" She asks sweetly.

"At least a couple of bruises…" she hisses when she gets fingered in her favorite spot that Luz knows so well. She briefly loses the ability to speak as she endured the intense pleasure and soft neck kisses. "As much as you want."

"I wanna make sure you're in pain for at least a week."

"Why so long, my love?" Amity asks innocently, suddenly nervous.

"I always want you to suffer," she says it, painfully blunt but in a sweet way that makes Amity clench excitedly on nothing. She wants it more than ever now. "What hurt the most?"

"...The strap on."

Well, Luz's next mission was to get Amity in bed to get started on her night of pleasure and romance turned torture session. The soft, cool sheets of the bed feel comfortable against her skin, it's almost sad to feel before the pain she was about to receive.

She ends up on her stomach with a pillow supporting under her hips and another under her chest for her to hug and squeeze when the pain gets especially bad, and Luz wastes no time with getting things started. From the very beginning it's too big and stretches her out in the most agonizing ways. But still, the mixture of Amity's pain, the sweet friction of each push and pull inside of her, the warmth and pressure of her girlfriend fucking her gently from behind. She loves and craves the tragic feelings at the cost of her sanity. She doesn't know what she's doing here with this girl but— she guesses she thinks about that every time she's in some kind of ridiculous situation with her.

"Does this feel good, Blight?" Luz seems to have gotten the wrong impression from Amity's low, carnal little moans and cries of pain and pleasure. She feels so terrible and disgusting and guilty for how much she loves this. She loves feeling so small and incompetent against her girlfriend. She loves feeling like an object and being used for sex. She loves how badly it hurts, how with each thrust she's dizzy from the pain. Nearing tears, she lets out a sob, just waiting for herself to come so she can stop because no matter how much she likes it, it's excruciatingly, excellently painful.

"It feels so good. Fuck, babe. It hurts so bad," she says shakily, a few tears spill out and roll down her cheeks. "I love you."

"Love you too," she said, sounding a bit distracted. She shifts back a bit and rests a firm hand on Amity's back. Now she's farther away so that she has to push her hips in farther to really get inside of her sweet obedient girlfriend. "You always take everything I give you so well," she says fondly. "You're such a good girl."

"Don't hold back, okay my love?" She whispers weakly, clutching at her pillow until her knuckles turn white. "I want everything."

"I know you do. You're so beautiful… I can't let you go."

"Don't let me go, babe. I want you no matter what." She begs and pleads, taking each stroke with all the competence and willingness that comes with the hope that maybe, Luz would tell her she loves her again, and they could talk about real things and their feelings afterwards. Maybe she'd listen to her and maybe she'd get to see her pretty smile again.

After they're done and Amity has had many painful and guilty orgasms, Luz finally stops. She's only mildly sore right now but she knows it'll come full force in the morning. She enjoys the dull ache deep inside her as she roughly makes out with her girlfriend. She can't feel much of anything with how worn out and just utterly exhausted she is.

And as they both lay there flat on their backs, staring blankly up at the ceiling, Amity steals a glance at Luz. She hesitates before asking, "Are you okay, my love?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Never been better," she says breathlessly. She looks away, rolling to her side and bringing her arms up to cover her naked chest. She always feels so ashamed after they have sex. Even if she consented, she still feels violated and wrong. But she wanted to do it if that's what would please her girlfriend. Whatever she wants. Whatever makes her happy. It doesn't matter if she's not fulfilled or happy most of the time afterwards.

She hears Luz yawn loudly behind her and then, "I'm hungry. Wanna go get something?"

"I'm not hungry," she replies in a small, shaky voice. Her shoulders shake gently as she cries.

Luz is quiet for a moment. "What's wrong?" She asks quietly, like she doesn't have any idea.

"Nothing. I just…" she sniffles, smiling sadly to herself and shaking her head. "Nothing."

Nothing's that bad if it feels this good, right?


A wave of relief washes over Amity when she opens the door and her older sister is standing there. She's so happy to see her that she launches herself into her before even letting her in the apartment. "What's the matter, Mittens?" Emira asks teasingly, gently patting her younger sister's head.

It feels weird being in her arms like this, in the arms of someone who loves and cares about her. She knows that because she can feel it, and this is her sister. She almost forgot what it felt like to be reciprocated. She's been waiting for that yearning, lonely ache in the pit of her stomach to melt away every time Luz pulls her into a hug or when they kiss or whatever else they get into.

And touch is supposed to be fulfilling. Maybe that's why she's never satisfied when it's Luz. She wants to be close to someone, she wants to feel loved and acknowledged and real. That's why she nuzzles into her sister's chest, even if it's thoroughly embarrassing and she sort of hates how she let herself get like this.

Eventually and thankfully, Emira gets to come inside. She flops down on the couch while Amity finishes stirring a pot of off brand tomato soup because she's starving and doesn't have anything else to eat. "How's Ed doing?" She calls from the stove.

"He's good. He's busy over at Hallmark," she says and Amity can just hear her eye roll. "They're already starting to film those shitty holiday romance movies so they'll release on time."

"Ed on Hallmark…?" Amity's face scrunches up in second hand embarrassment for her older brother. She tries to picture him in a turtleneck sweater, kissing some Disney reject actress under a mistletoe. It's low, even for him considering the bar isn't exactly high, not to her at least. But when you're desperate, you'll take anything. And they have to pay the bills somehow.

"Yep. And I'm never letting him live this down." She laughs.

"Me either." She giggles. It goes quiet for a while and Amity keeps cooking the soup. She thinks maybe she burnt it. Wait, you can't burn soup. Right? But it's starting to get clunky and it's thick and sticking to the pot and—why does she even try to do anything? She thinks for a moment and decides to just pour it down the drain and start over. "What about you? Doing anything these days?"

"Nope," Em replies cheerfully. "I'm taking a mental health break, you know? It really does get tiring to do that stuff for long periods of time."

"I get it."

It's quiet again and Emira comes into the kitchen to help Amity because she can't do anything food related for the life of her and she loves her sister so much and she's so happy she's here because she's so broken and she doesn't know what to do. She's standing beside her sister as she stirs the pot much slower and— oh that's why it was chunky— when Em gently asks, "So what about you, Mittens?"

"Disney Channel," she says, a bit ashamed. Her sister is just so much better than her, doing so many big projects and getting amazing acting roles and here she is, in her stupid apartment, can't even make soup , working on Disney Channel. She blinks when Em laughs.

"No," she says. "I meant, you know. How's life treating you?"

Amity's heart suddenly kicks into overdrive and she panics. She didn't want to think about life right now. She wanted to enjoy her sister's company and not think about Luz and how she misses her so much. Suddenly, she wants to cry. Biting her lip, she looks away. "Is everything okay?" Em raises an eyebrow and turns off the stove. She moves to get some bowls out of the cupboard and Amity feels relieved for the extra space. She thinks maybe she's going to pass out from her anxiety and panic. "I already know you're with someone, if that's what you're freaking out about," she laughs.

"You do?" She asks shakily.

"Yeah. I just wanted to know how it's going, that's all. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want. I know how you kids are when it comes to that kind of stuff." She says with a suggestive grin, glancing briefly at her sister whose face is greatly resembling the color of the soup she's pouring into bowls for them.

"No, no!" Amity rushes to say. "I'm not… it's not like that." She lies.

"Whatever. You're old enough. I just want you to be careful, 'kay? Use protection and all that," she waves her hand dismissively.

"Always. I'm always careful," she hesitates, suddenly not hungry anymore. Maybe she over compensated for that. Shit. Em definitely knows there's something up. She feels so stupid and ashamed of herself for letting it get this far. Letting herself get this bad. With everything in her, she clears her throat, holding back the tears that beg to come out and she smiles shakily at her sister. "Let's talk about it later, okay?"

"Of course." She says, sounding a bit concerned. Shit.

A lot of time goes by and Amity and Em are sitting on the couch watching a movie and just chatting when her phone buzzes, lighting up beside her. She quickly snatched it up, hoping and praying to all things good that she didn't see who it was.

Luz

Omw💋💋💋 is the message on her lock screen. In a panicked motion, she unlocks her phone and shakily texts her back. Hi babe don't come! My sister is here right now. Then as an afterthought she puts, I miss you, so she won't be mad.

She sets her phone back down to find her sister watching her suspiciously. "Are you sure everything's okay, Mittens?"

"I'm good," she assures her, not very confidently. Her phone buzzes again. What time is she leaving

I don't know. Just come tomorrow ok babe

Ok 😭😭😭

"Is that your boyfriend?" She asks teasingly and Amity stiffens. Boyfriend. Ugh. She hates this. Did everyone expect her to have a boyfriend? She stays quiet, unable to speak because if she does, she'll start crying. She's feeling so sensitive lately and she doesn't know why. Any mention of her love life or anything having to do with romance just makes her extremely uncomfortable and sad. Isn't love supposed to feel good and make your life better? Why does she feel so miserable when they kiss? Why does she never feel satisfied with anything? Why doesn't she feel loved?

If love isn't what she and Luz have then she doesn't think she wants it. She doesn't know and she can't imagine what a normal relationship is supposed to be like. Would she even feel anything with a healthy, sound and respectful relationship? Would she get anything from it? Does she like not being treated well and feeling helpless?

She thinks maybe Luz ruined any chance she has at a relationship with another person in the future with how damaging she is. But Amity wants it and she craves it. Ugh. There's something seriously wrong with her. Finally, the tears spill out in an overwhelming flow and she lets out a pathetic sounding sob. Emira looks horrified and she quickly pulls her sister into a hug. They don't say anything as she cries. She just loves her sister so much. She's happy that she's here right now. She doesn't know what she'd do if she weren't.

After a while, Amity's laying down on her sister's lap as she gently strokes her hair. She hasn't heard a peep from her and she thinks she's asleep until she looks down at her to see that she is, in fact, awake and staring blankly at the TV. She gently asks, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Oh god, no she doesn't want to talk about it. "Yes," she croaks out, sniffing.

"You don't have to."

"I want to. I need to." Sniffling again, she moves to sit back up. She makes brief eye contact with Em and she wants to shrivel up and die. "Don't look at me, okay?"

"Okay."

She leans her head on her shoulder and takes a deep breath. "Don't judge me okay?" She laughs a little bit. "Actually, don't say anything at all until I'm done."

"You're starting to scare me, Mittens." Em laughs uneasily.

"I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm fine. Just listen, okay?" she takes another steadying breath. She can't believe this is happening, she always thought she would take this to the grave with her. But where does she even start? What does she even say? "So I'm dating this girl," is what she says and already she sounds like a maniac. She feels Em take a breath to say something but she thankfully decides against it. "Actually, I don't think we're dating. We're in this… relationship. I don't know. It's weird."

Step one complete? She goes dizzy for a moment with how unbelievable this is. She can't believe she's doing this. She's probably going to get in a lot of trouble for this. "Um. I'm really, really, really in love with her. I don't know what to do with myself sometimes. And I don't know if she loves me back or— what. But we basically…"

She's pretty sure she doesn't have to say it. She feels so ashamed to be saying this to her sister. "We have sex," she bites her lip, pausing to feel her reaction. But she stays quiet. "And she uses me and she hurts me and I let her!" She laughs, a little bit delirious. "I like it, I think. I like how she treats me like shit."

"And she's very abusive. She didn't hit me or anything but she verbally abuses me all the time. And… I like it," she says quietly. "I think she… raped me one time?"

"Um, what?" Emira coughs and she starts choking. Amity pulls away to see her, a melancholy kind of sadness in her eyes. " Amity, that's—,"

"Em, please." She pleads. "You said you'd listen."

Her mouth falls open and she stares incredulously at Amity. "That's not.. . I'm…I don't know what to say!"

" Please?" She says. She reaches for her hands and Em squeezes them gently. Amity looks away. "It's not like you think."

"That she raped you?"

"No. I… I told her she could and then she didn't stop when I told her to. She always does that."

Em gives Amity the dirtiest look and she feels very judged. She wants to curl up in a ball and cry again. "Now that I'm saying it, it sounds really bad…"

" Yeah." She says slowly. "I'm calling the police."

"Em, no. I don't want you to do that. This is my problem. I need to handle this."

"You aren't going to handle this. You're going to let it keep happening because you told me yourself, you like it."

"I… I know. I'm going to break up with her. I just need time."

"Mittens, what do you need time for? Are you waiting for her to change? Because people like that don't change. She's using you, Amity. You have no reason to stay."

"I know. It's useless and I'm crazy and this is really bad but… I love her," her voice cracks and she feels her eyes watering so she leans into her sister again. "A lot."

"No, Amity. You need to leave her. Does she know where you live?" She asks sternly. When Amity nods, she groans. "Oh my god. Do you wanna come back home with me until we figure this all out?"

"No," she nods vigorously. "I'm just going to talk to her."

Emira narrows her eyes. "Amity." Then she says, "This isn't that Luz Noceda girl, is it?"

Amity's face burns with shame and her palms turn sweaty. She hopes she didn't make a face because if she made a face then Em definitely knows. She looks away calmly, nodding her head. "No. I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay?"

"Okay…" She sighs begrudgingly. "Amity I… really don't know what to say. How did this happen?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she says again and waves her off. She suddenly moves to stand up and anxiously, she laughs. "Um. Can you leave?"

Emira looks up at her in disbelief. "I need to be alone for now." She adds hesitantly. In a flurry of frenzied moments, she pushes her sister out of her apartment. Before she leaves, she turns to Amity with worry in her eyes.

"Promise me you'll leave her?"

Amity smiles reassuringly. She hopes it works for her because even Amity doesn't believe herself when she says, "Promise."

She's laying down in her bed, curled up in a ball, a puddle of messy feelings raging inside of her. But it doesn't stop her from reaching for her phone and texting Luz, she left.

They're kissing softly in the kitchen a little later and Amity just can't bring herself to do anything. Not yet. She can't push her away when she's making her feel so good, so special all the time. She doesn't want her to leave right now when things were just starting to get good, she was kissing her so slowly and gently that it almost felt like love.

"Show me how much you want me," Amity says in a low voice between kisses. She feels so good and so bad. She can't believe this is happening. She thinks of Em and how worried she was and she feels like an idiot standing here doing this. Her whole body burns with shameful arousal. All she wants is her hands on her… everywhere. She doesn't care if this is also the same girl who's the cause of all her misery and regret.

"If I show you… you won't be able to walk for a while." She giggles and kisses her girlfriend deeply as she swoons over the thought of it all. She wants it no matter what. Luz pulls away with this smug grin on her face and Amity just wants to punch her. Ugh. She's so full of feelings that she doesn't even know the names of. She feels like her helpless victim by choice but also by force? There's no way she could get out of this even if she wanted to. She's too hot and her hands feel too good on her skin for her to care too much.

"Then do it," she begs breathlessly, taken by the swelling and intense want she feels right now. "Don't make me wait." Her heart skips when Luz leans in again so she lets her eyes flutter closed and she awaits the feeling of her girlfriend's soft, warm lips on hers. But it never comes. She whines, opening her eyes and all she's met with is that stupid grin again.

Then she sees her eyes flick down to her lips and Amity's heart almost explodes with sweet anticipation. "What babe?" She asks, giggling softly and she clutches onto her shoulder because she feels almost lightheaded with excitement. And then she sees Luz just slightly bite her lip. Wow. She must really want her.

"Your mouth," she reaches up to gently trace over her lips and then shoves two fingers inside of her mouth. Amity sucks them submissively, moaning because she thinks she might explode from how hot this is. "It's mine."

"It's yours," she says lovingly with her mouth full. They don't lose eye contact as she twirls her tongue around her fingers and she can see Luz trying not to laugh. Then she pulls them out, wiping them off on her shirt. They kiss deeply again and this time Luz bites her lip, swiping her tongue over the sensitive skin there.

She trails down to her neck and Amity's gasping and moaning and taking it like a champ when suddenly Luz tells her, "You're such a slut."

She blinks with confusion and for a brief moment she's offended. But then she realizes that it's really hot when Luz talks down on her like that. Maybe she is a slut then. Either way for argumentative sake and because she's so turned on, she says, "I'm not a slut."

"Yes you are," she insists still. "You'll do anything I want you to."

"I thought you liked that."

"I love that."

Amity giggles, fawning under her sweet light kisses. Each one tickles and it makes her a soaking wet mess between her legs. "You are a slut. Admit it." She says quietly. Amity moans, bucking her hips forward in a desperate attempt at getting some friction. Just the feeling of her girlfriend against her like this is enough to make her dizzy. "Say it, babe."

"Mmm, babe. You're right. I am a slut. Only for you." She sighs dreamily, gasping incredulously when she feels Luz's hand in her underwear, brushing deliciously against her sex.

One thing led to another and then…

She pins her arms to the bed, kissing her so deeply that the mattress squeaks under them. She pulls away with one last peck to give her this sultry smirk and Amity can't help but feel like she's in trouble, even if she's thoroughly turned on. Then she reaches down to gently tug at her shirt, watching her helpless girlfriend expectantly.

"Babe, I don't want to have sex tonight," she says quietly, as gently as possible. But it doesn't deter Luz one single bit.

She sweetly brushes their noses together and kisses her softly again before whispering, "Hold on. Please?" Hand slips underneath her bra strap and she tugs it playfully. "I wanna try something."

Amity's eyes widen calmly and her mouth drops open with panic. That same feeling of dread drips into her chest whenever Luz says that. It almost always involves pain and that fear slowly turns into dread with each passing moment. Luz wanting to try something was almost always never good. "...Like what?"

"I was thinking earlier and…" she traces a gentle finger over her lips. Amity shivers under the teasing, tickling feeling it leaves on her and she quickly bites her lip. She almost feels charmed by the thought of Luz thinking about her. It feels good to know that she's not the only one who's hopelessly infatuated with her girlfriend. "What if I tried stretching you out?"

Just the thought of it already makes her sore. She moans when Luz nips at her bottom lip, much too distracted to even realize that she had her hand already under her bra and teasing her nipple. "H—how?" She asks breathlessly.

"With my hands."

Goodness. "I don't want to."

Luz groans and kisses her, roughly this time. She almost feels bad for a moment and she thinks, I should just give her what she wants. But she has the right to say no and stand up for herself because it's her body and she doesn't want that. Somehow she gets so wrapped up in feelings and pleasure that her girlfriend ends up with her tongue swirling around her nipple and Amity just can't resist the teasing torture of it.

As she arches and begs under it, she pleads with Luz, careless and stubborn as she is. She ends up trying to pull off Amity's underwear but she stops her. "I said no," she reminds her weakly, trembling and despite her body screaming and burning for more, she firmly stands her ground.

"Stop being such a baby. C'mon," she grins at her. "I'll make you feel good. I promise."

"I don't want to…" she huffed as Luz continued to slide her panties down her legs, her pulsing, aching clit exposed for her to do whatever she wanted to. And Amity in her lust ridden misery opens her legs, allowing Luz to comfortably rest her head against her inner thigh, her face dangerously close to where she aches. She puts a hand on her knee to keep her open and she watches Amity, daring her as she slips her tongue slowly across her sex. " Stop."

"Let's face it, Blight." She uses her other hand to gently finger Amity, fucking her entrance slowly. "You're not gonna do anything about it. You want me to."

"I told you I don't want this!" She rocks her hips against each thrust of her fingers, her breaths becoming jagged. "I said I didn't want this. But you aren't listening to me."

"You want me to keep going."

"No, I really, really… don't…" she trails off in helpless ecstasy and suddenly she loses her nerve. Because no matter how much she hated it, it did feel really, really good. Like, so good that she feels like she wants to cry. And she's so in love with her, the person who gives her these indescribably amazing feelings and can make her want things even if she really doesn't. She lets out an incredibly contradictory sound and she whimpers, begs for more. "Please, please…"

"Please what?" Luz asks innocently and she keeps going against her girlfriend's wishes, because that's what she wants right? Amity definitely doesn't want her to stop but also…

" Fuck." She groans, her stomach aching from the pleasure. It's such an addictive feeling and she knows she's a slave to it. She'll do anything to get this feeling and she needs it and she can't live without it. But if she pushes Luz away then how will she get it? How can she go without it? Go without her?


She wants to do something different this time. She's tired of sex being a chore and something she's so conflicted about when it's supposed to be gratifying and feel good. She knows the nature of their relationship and the way they are is beyond repair and it's not exactly worth saving, even she realizes that now. But she doesn't want to let go just yet.

It's not much, but she's going to try and talk to Luz. She wants to try to set some boundaries again and have sex but still be respectful to each other. That's really all she wants.

She lights some candles in the room and she puts rose petals on the floor and a few on the bed before Luz gets there. When she walks in the room, she pauses. "What's all this for?" She asks teasingly.

"Nothing, I just thought…maybe we could use a change of scenery," she walks closer to her cute girlfriend, pressing up against her. They just look at each other for a moment until Luz slips her arms around her waist, pulling her closer. "Isn't it romantic?" She whispers, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder when she buries her face in Amity's neck.

Luz takes a deep breath, sighing. "Mhm. I like it." Amity rests her chin on her head, enjoying the quiet peacefulness and the way Luz is holding her so tightly. She doesn't know why, but she feels incredibly sad right now. She has everything she wants and the only person she ever thinks about is right here in her arms and she feels so soft and warm. Her whole body tingles with nervous excitement at what the next few hours has in store for her. She doesn't want anything but her and for some reason she still isn't satisfied. Luz seems to be having similar thoughts when she says quietly, "I don't deserve you."

Amity gets even more depressed because she knows that's right. But she doesn't want Luz to be sad about it too. "Yes you do," she pulls away and holds her face in her hands. "Don't say that." Leaning forward, she kisses her sweetly but her heart is not in it somehow. Luz lifts a hand to hold Amity's face and she kisses back more passionately. Her fingers tangle through her mint green hair and even if her head's somewhere else, she lets out a delighted moan.

She thinks what she really needs right now is to feel loved.

They stumble against the bed and she's ready to succumb to her girlfriend when she suddenly remembers. She swallows back her nervousness and clears her throat. "Luz?"

"Hm?"

"I um, I wanted to talk to you about something before we get started…"

"Let me guess," she raises an eyebrow, giving Amity a bored look that makes her want to cry. "You wanna break up."

"N—no…" she bites her lip, looking away. "Do… do you?"

"No."

Amity sighs in relief and gets her mind back on task. Her eyes feel so heavy and she wants to break down sobbing. But she's also very horny for her girlfriend and all she wants is to have sex with her. But she needs to tell her this before she gets hurt again. With a deep breath, she puts a firm hand on Luz's chest and says, "I think we should start listening to each other more."

"Okay," she shrugs and leans forward to kiss Amity deeply. For a moment, she forgets what she's doing to melt under her soft lips, but luckily pulls herself back together and pushes Luz back.

"Wait." She tells her sternly. Luz groans and pulls Amity closer and make out briefly before she pulls away again. "I'm serious, babe." She says and then immediately contradicts herself with another kiss. "Please listen to me."

"I'm listening," she giggles when Amity gets carried away and starts kissing her all over her face. After she regains her composure, she clears her throat again.

"Let's set boundaries, okay?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Okay. Let's do it," she says it like she agrees, like she respects any form of boundary anyways.

"Listen to me when I tell you to stop. It makes me really upset when you don't listen to me."

"Okay. I'm sorry." She says sweetly and steals another kiss from her stern girlfriend who passionately kisses back because she's desperate. Pushing her back again, she continues.

"I want you to be gentle. No more rough sex."

"Okay."

"Anything you want to add?" She asks, tracing her fingers over her chest. Luz nods and pushes her into yet another deep kiss. She gives up and lets it happen. She doesn't know if that went well or if Luz took it seriously or if she's going to listen. She guesses she'll find out later.

They're making out on the bed, Amity on top of Luz when she asks, "Can I touch you?"

As always, she's hesitant at first. But she thinks the reason she lets Amity ever do anything is because she loves her. And that is a delicious thought. One that she feeds even if it's absurd and false and completely delusional.

She looks embarrassed as she reaches around to unhook her bra. She always acts a bit strange whenever Amity tries to undress her and she's not exactly sure why. She looks so beautiful that she can't possibly imagine what the problem is. She kisses her lips tenderly before asking, "What's wrong my love?"

Luz looks away, ashamed. She groans impatiently under the slow strokes Amity traces over her stomach. "I just…" she takes a deep breath. " Really don't like being naked."

"Why not?" She asks sweetly and slowly moves back to try and pull her bra away but Luz quickly slaps her hand away. She remains patient and waits for an answer.

"I really hate my body." She says quietly, not meeting Amity's eyes. Her heart shatters and for a moment, she doesn't know what to say or do about it. She isn't giving up because she wants her girlfriend so bad.

Unsure of what to do, she bites her lip anxiously. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." She squeezes her eyes shut and reaches up to pull her bra strap back up her shoulder. "Can we just…"

"No, babe. I want to do this." She puts a gentle hand over hers and softly pushes it away. She slowly pulls her bra back down and then removes it entirely. Luz hisses, putting her arm over her eyes. "Don't worry, okay? You're fine. I just want to see you."

"But…"

"You're fine," she says lovingly and pulls her arm away from her face. "Look at me." She smiles gently and leans forward to kiss her passionately. She wants to show her that everything's alright and she isn't judging. She wants to show her that she's beautiful and that she wants to see her. All of her. She pulls away and brushes their lips together. "You don't have to be ashamed, see?" She grins and buries her face in her neck, reaching down to hold her small breast in her hand. Luz yelps and thrashes a bit under her teasing thumb swirling over her nipple, biting her lip. "I'll make you feel sooo good. I promise."

"Stop it," she says weakly, even if her hips are still rocking to the touch. Something venomous bubbles up inside of Amity. For some reason, it only made her want to keep going, just to torment her. It all feels so familiar…

"Just let me show you, okay? I only want to make you feel better."

"No," she chokes out, moaning. "I don't want you to."

But Amity lovingly ignores her, eventually slipping down to trace her tongue over her nipple instead. Luz makes so many delicious sounds that she feels almost crazy with power and arousal. She feels her girlfriend's hand tangle through her hair and she inevitably changes her mind about the whole thing. "Don't stop," she breathes out and strokes her hair. Amity feels like such a good girl, smiling as she gently bites her nipple between her teeth, just wanting to pleasure her girlfriend.

"Do you like it when I do this?" She asks sweetly.

"Mhm. You're so good. Your mouth feels so good." She praises her sweet girlfriend's best efforts, and she feels so good. She wants nothing more than her words of praise and to hear her cries of pleasure, all because of her.

Eventually, she gets down between her legs, smiling with amusement at her girlfriend's already glistening wet clit. She strokes her first and after Luz's frenzied moan, she asks, "Does that feel good?" and all she gets out of her is a quick nod. Good enough for her. All it means is that she's speechless, she thinks. So she spreads her open with two fingers and pokes her tongue inside of her, right in the middle. She then takes long, slow strokes of her trembling girlfriend.

"Amity," she moans, almost incredulous of how good she feels right now as her girlfriend relentlessly goes down on her, each lick long and slow and satisfying. It doesn't take her long to come, panting and sweaty and exhausted. But Amity isn't anywhere near finished. She gave her girlfriend sweet, easy, teasing pleasure, but now she wants to be inside of her. She wants to give her everything she gives her.

Excited, she climbs out of bed and digs through Luz's bag for the strap on. She quickly buckles it around her waist. Taking control of the thing that caused her so much pain and took so many of her sweet orgasms. Now she's going to hurt her with it. "What are you doing?" Luz asks at first, visibly nervous.

But Amity is completely undeterred. She forces her legs open and gently slips the thing over her clit. She really doesn't know what to do, she's just copying what Luz did to her. "What's wrong babe? Never had some this big inside of you before?" She asks lovingly, bumping her hips forward to slip inside. It's tough and doesn't go in easily at first, but ignoring her girlfriend's moans of pain, she forces it inside with a bitter feeling in her chest. She holds onto Luz's knees for support and she hammers away, sending her girlfriend into pleasure filled ecstasy. She knows how good it feels and how she's probably burning with intense and paralyzing pleasure, the pressure on her clit is probably driving her mad.

She gives her girlfriend another strong orgasm but she doesn't stop. She keeps going to drive her own sadistic fantasies of her girlfriend suffering and aching from the pain. She keeps going until Luz says, "Stop it!"

"What's wrong babe?" She asks bitterly, pushing her hips even harder than before. Luz whimpers and weakly jerks her hip against Amity's relentlessness. "Had enough yet?"

"Please… stop."

"I'm not stopping," she says sternly and she pushes harder, trying to get enough friction on her clit to come to the sight of her helpless girlfriend writhing in pain.

"Stop it you crazy bitch!" She squeaks. "Get off of me!"

" No. You never stop for me, so I'm going to keep going until you start crying. I'm going to make you hurt."

Luz groans and pulls herself away, pushing back and sitting up. "What is wrong with you?" She glares daggers at Amity and in her revenge ridden haze, she feels terrible, like she's just committed a crime. Panting, she looks down with the sudden realization.

They both lay on opposite sides of the bed curled in on themselves. The silence is deafening.


"You're late," Amity tells Luz. She's standing at the door in her leather jacket and sweatpants like they're going anywhere this late in the afternoon. They were supposed to be going on a date again, the first one following another inevitable minor setback.

"It's not that late," she shrugs and rolls her eyes. Then she raises a hand to stop Amity from running off on her wild tangent. "Before you say anything, I got you this." She pulls her other hand from behind her back to reveal a red rose with a long stem. Amity's mouth falls open because she's at a loss for words. Luz has never brought her a rose before. She rarely does anything even remotely romantic.

But she shakes her head, trying to pull herself back together and steel her grip because even if Luz brought a rose, she was late. "What took you so long?" She glares sternly at her. Luz sighs and Amity stumbles aside when she pushes past into the apartment. She trails behind her into the kitchen, glancing curiously at the rose that's now lying on the counter when there's a vase of water right beside it.

"Traffic," is what Luz supplied, taking one of Amity's water bottles and downing half of it in thirty seconds.

"I made reservations. And I paid for a nice spot for us to have some privacy. Now we're late by two hours and I don't think they're going to let us come anymore." She says, her eye twitching aggravatedly.

"Aww," Luz grins, opening her arms and watching Amity expectantly. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she sighs and begrudgingly lets herself be pulled into a hug. They stand there like that for a moment, Amity leaning comfortably against her girlfriend who she's kind of upset with but also very in love with.

Luz pulls back to gently kiss her, and with the audacity of only herself, she says just above a whisper, "I love you."

"I love you too," she says shakily, feeling a bit defeated by her, like she always is.


They're both naked, Amity's laying on top of her girlfriend. Their bodies are pressed together in an overwhelming flush of milky white against tan, skin to skin contact that she absolutely craves with everything in her. It's a carnal desire. She almost feels dizzy with pleasure and urgency, she needs something to hold, something to clench but like always, she's left feeling empty no matter how close they are.

So she clutches her shoulder, traces her curious hand down her girlfriend's creamy smooth skin. She relishes in the little moans and trembles that she elicits with just her hands and fingers from her terrible, terrible girlfriend. She grabs anything and anywhere she can because desperate people take what they can right? And even if they were naked and so physically close, she still wonders why she still isn't happy or satisfied.

Frustrated, Amity groans and moves to sit up, straddling Luz across her hips. Her legs pin her on either side, pressing her clit deliciously against her girlfriend's crotch. Each touch of their skin makes Amity's heart ache with need and want and sweet, sweet sexual frustration. They both decided to take off all of their clothes and see how long they could resist each other without stirring the pot and starting the fire. It's been an hour and a half. At first, it was easy because Amity was just smitten by the fact that Luz agreed to be naked . She spent the better half of an hour just being star struck over her girlfriend's body. She discovered naked cuddling and for a while, it was nice.

She suddenly got the intense urge to touch her, everywhere. She wanted to make her girlfriend whine and cry with her hands and her mouth like she did her so often. She wanted to explore her and feel her in a way she never had before. But she couldn't touch.

Now she was just getting impatient. Being so close like this really was tempting her to do bad things. She didn't care about self control or how long she could keep her hands off. She was so turned on that she couldn't really think straight. So in a desperate attempt, she resorted to grinding. She straddled her hot girlfriend and she was going to hump her crotch until she came, that's all. Nothing to see here. She starts off with a slow, steady pace, teasing herself slowly and building up the anticipation.

"You're making this really hard," Luz tells her sternly. Amity doesn't really care much about anything anymore, not right now at least. Her eyes flutter closed and she slips into her own little world of pleasure and good feelings as she rides the waves to success. She wants to grind a bit harder so she holds onto Luz's shoulders for support because she needs something to keep her grounded here in reality or else she'd float away. " Amity."

" I don't care," she chokes out in a whiny moan, clearly distracted. She takes her lip between her teeth and she grinds herself harder, pressing just right on just the right spot. It feels so good, she could cry, the thought of her girlfriend being the thing she's getting off on turns her on even more. She almost feels like Luz in a sense, she thinks. She's using her body for her own selfish desires and she doesn't actually care if Luz wants it or not because nothing can stop her anymore and she's going to come right here and just like this.


"Is… everything okay, Mittens?" Edric asks Amity over the phone one day. He sounds so worried, it's almost wholesome.

"Yes, why?" She asks innocently. "Did Em tell you something?"

"Yeah…" he pauses cautiously. "She told me… everything."

Amity stays quiet. "Do you need help?" He asks slowly.

"No, I'm fine. I'll handle it, okay? And tell Em to stay out of it."

"Okay… Mittens? What's gotten into you? Seriously…"

"Nothing. I'm fine." She says again, getting a bit impatient. She doesn't want anyone's help. She doesn't want to stop because the pain feels so good. She thought maybe she wanted to break up before but now she's never been more sure of anything more in her life, how Luz is the only thing she wants, that is.