Luz blinks, flinching at the smack of papers on the desk. She'd been called to a meeting at work. She initially thought it was the standard weekly meetings that all the cast had to attend but her assumptions were crudely proven wrong when she walked into the office and no one else was there.
"We've gotten anonymous reports about the concern of the relationship between you and Amity Blight," says the manager boredly and Luz immediately knows who it was. Probably Willow when she caught them in the cafeteria all that time ago. It's not like there was anything inherently wrong with their relationship and it's not like it was anyone's business in the first place. To show it here was just…
"Did they mention anything in specific?" She sits back in her chair and tries to stay her usual smug self. She doesn't know if she should be worried about losing her job or if she should laugh. Really, she couldn't care less about this job, but the people looking at her resume would. She needed to stay on a steady source of income for when her mom finally kicked her out, which, she knew was probably coming as soon as she turned nineteen.
"That's not for me to disclose. And being honest, we really don't care," she sighs. "Just… a relationship like that on professional property is inappropriate. Tone it down."
Luz rolls her eyes.
Later, driving home, she casually mentions it to Amity. "I think Willow reported us," she laughs, glancing at her cute girlfriend in the passenger seat beside her. Amity eyes her for a moment, not believing.
"Really?"
"Yeah. It was anonymous and they wouldn't give me any details, but like…"
Amity stays quiet and she looks away. The silence in the car is weirdly loud as she thinks it all through and then comes to a very contrived conclusion. "That's okay. I'll just start driving to work by myself." She says. "I just don't want to get fired so early on."
Luz just shrugs and she stays quiet for a moment.
She's tired. She wants to curl up under a blanket and just sleep for a week. Not worry about anything. Not Amity, not work, not school, not anything. Just for a while.
She's tired of her schedule and how she barely has time to catch a break. Her days are so long and repetitive and she's only got a handful of hours to herself and whatever she uses them for is up for her to decide— but no matter what she chooses, it always bites her in the ass later.
If she wants to have sex, she always regretted it because she's tired. If she wants to study, she will regret it because tired. If she wanted to play video games or literally do anything for her own enjoyment, it was never a good idea because in the morning when she had to get up and go to work, she was going to be tired. It's hard trying to balance work and life on such a cluttered scale.
And how was she supposed to give Amity what she wanted? Give her the attention and love that she deserved?
She steals another glance at her. She's staring off into space and her head is resting against the window. Crap, even lost in thought she looks so beautiful. Luz quickly directs her attention back to the road, a tingle of shame rushing up her back.
As much as she doesn't care, as much as she hates her, she wants to make her happy. She loves seeing her smile when it does come naturally. She loves being in her arms. She loves kissing her soft lips. She loves her. But she feels like it's too late, that even if she wanted to be good enough for her, she couldn't. Amity wouldn't believe her and she wouldn't understand. She'd rather keep treating her like shit and have her come running back.
That's easier than trying to put in any effort. That was better than being honest and feeling the things she was feeling.
Her bottom line was that for Amity, she didn't require any. No effort required at all. But how can she come to the same conclusion everytime and still not feel satisfied? How can she get rid of this constant pang of guilt in her chest everytime she looks at her girlfriend?
How does she get out of it this time? How does she escape when things are happening and her feelings are real, blossoming like flowers under Amity's gentle touch? What's the way to just be competent?
Maybe if she was prepared for this, she'd have something to say to her. But the plan wasn't to be like this, helplessly falling in love with her.
She wondered how long it'd take for Amity to notice.
An idea pops into her head just as she's changing lanes and she catches a glance at a lively bar off the freeway exit she just missed. It's not a good idea, and would only perpetuate her problem, but she doesn't care. She's not going to let some stupid schedule ruin her fun. She's young and would do what she wanted.
She doesn't want to think about work or their relationship because it's stupid and not worth thinking about. If things got really bad then she'd just break up with her. No joke was worth her job or reputation or sanity. She steals another look at her pretty girlfriend and she looks worried still. "Wanna get a drink?" She asks to cheer her up and— by 'a drink' she definitely means multiple. Amity pauses.
"No."
Amity's downing her third shot when Luz wraps her arms around her girlfriend's waist, leaning on her as they sit side by side in a booth. She nuzzles into her neck, feeling the pleasant buzz of warmth in the back of her throat and the alcohol melting away her stress. She presses a warm kiss on her jaw and pulls her closer when Amity lets out a squeaky little moan. "Stop babe, I almost choked," she giggles, slamming her shot glasses onto the table and playfully tries to push Luz off of her.
"It's not my fault you're so sexy," she smiles, kissing down her neck and bringing a hand up to— not so discreetly— squeeze her breast, poking her where her nipple is under all of that stupid clothing. She wants to take it all off. She wants to fuck her. She doesn't care if Amity is pushing her away or if they're in public. She would feel her girlfriend up anywhere she pleased, dammit. "I want you." She whispers closely into her ear.
"We're in public, babe," she whines quietly and Luz delights to know that her eyes are closed and she's trying to keep herself under control. Luz presses harder over her nipple and kisses her neck again when Amity inhales sharply. "Babe!" She gasps.
Her next order of operation in seducing her hot girlfriend was to gently rest her hand on her thigh under the table. Being an aisle table where people and waiters constantly walked by, that would be a little hard. But that was half the fun.
The other half was witnessing and being the direct cause of Amity's immense terror, her shameful arousal. She bites down on her lip and and lets out a quiet moan, luckily inaudible under the loud music playing over the restaurant. It's like Luz's little secret, being pressed so closely against her and being the only one to hear her desperate little pleas.
"Lay back," she tells her and it's almost funny how quickly she obeys the command for being so against it just all but two seconds ago. She leans back against the booth and spreads her legs open on the seat as Luz slips her hand between them. It frustrates her that there's not much she can really do here. Not from this angle and the way that she's sitting.
And even if she's already started to feel blissfully drunk, she still had some decency and didn't want to fully fuck her girlfriend at this restaurant. Just wanted to loosen her up a bit and get her ready. "Now try to stay quiet, okay?"
Amity nods and both of them immediately know that that's just as probable as them not doing anything tonight. She starts with her hand trailing up from her knee, sensually walking her fingers up her inner thigh to unzip her shorts in the front. "I don't want to have sex right here," she says quietly into Luz's hair. For a split second, she pauses but then she remembers that it doesn't really matter what Amity says. She liked it when she didn't stop. Even if she cried about it, she still liked it. She knew Amity.
So she slips under her shorts from the top and then under her panties as well. She finds her sex deliciously wet already and she gently fingers the top before slipping a single finger shallow inside of her. Damn this angle. She can't do anything.
" Fuck," she breathes, trembling. "Fuck, babe. I need it,"
"I know," she purrs and kisses her neck softly, pulling her finger out to teasingly circle the top of her clit again in a slow and gentle motion. "I'm gonna give you exactly what you need. I'll take care of you," she giggles as her girlfriend squirms under her. In the small space, she manages to get two fingers inside and she slips a bit lower to quickly fuck her tight walls, warm and wet around her fingers.
"Fuck!" Amity whines, panting for air and clutching at her girlfriend's hair. "Don't stop," she bucks her hips forward and rocks slowly into the touch, pulling her fingers deeper and deeper inside of her desperate, aching heat. She needs it and Luz needs it and she wants to taste her and hurt her and make her cry and all these terrible things but she just can't right now because they're in a stupid fucking restaurant. She should have taken her straight home to fuck her amazing cute girlfriend. Now she has to wait. "Babe!"
"Quiet," she reminds her and pulls her fingers back out to tease her clit again. She loves feeling her nails digging into her hips and hearing her whines and screams. God, she's so hot and she wants nothing more than to eat her out right now. She wants to torment her all night and she wants to feel her body on hers.
By now, they'd gotten plenty of weird stares and people turning red upon looking in their direction. It was pretty obvious with what was going on at table fifty four down the aisle. It wasn't her fault that Amity couldn't keep her whimpers and cries on a low volume.
Luz was still shocked when they were asked by the manager to leave.
Okay, maybe they weren't being very discreet.
Luckily, Luz hadn't had but three shots so she was still in good condition to drive. Not that she cared— she was still going to take her beautiful girlfriend home and rail her as soon as they got in the door. The restaurant they were at was much closer to her house, but she wasn't about to risk her mom coming in early from work while they were still having sex. She didn't want that to be the way she found out she was dating someone, let alone it being a girl. So she drove an extra thirty minutes to get them back to Amity's apartment, where they would be alone and unbothered for the entire night.
But, Amity on the other hand, was very drunk. She had a much lower tolerance. It's not like what they were drinking was particularly strong. Luz would need at least five more of those shots to get as loose as Amity was.
Doesn't mean Luz wasn't struggling to walk. They stumble to the elevator, arms slung around each other's shoulders for support. Luz is staring blankly at the shiny metallic doors as they go up when she hears Amity giggle. She glances down at her girlfriend, her head resting on her shoulder and she's looking up at her with a hazy grin on her face. She teasingly bites her lip and it takes everything out of Luz.
"Do you want to have sex with me?" She asks innocently, eyes fluttering closed when Luz leans down to bite her lip so hard that Amity moans in pain. She feels her tongue slip past her teeth as she sinks deeper into her soft lip. They kiss deeply and they swirl tongues, she can taste the bitterness of tequila on the warmth on her mouth. It makes her so happy and warm inside, to be blissfully drunk with her girlfriend.
They both fail to notice that the elevator door had opened for the first thirty seconds, so lost in each other.
It's funny when Amity drags her along down the hallway, and when she struggles to get the keys out of her bag to unlock her door. They end up making out as she struggles with the lock, pushed up against the door by her hot girlfriend. As they make out, Amity twists the keys around behind her and ends up unlocking the door, opening it and the two of them almost falling in. In the dark of the apartment, they'd been through this exact scenario enough times to know exactly where they're going and exactly how to get into the bedroom without ever pulling away.
They're kissing against the foot of the bed when Amity pulls away to catch her breath. "Babe, I can't kiss you for that long because I need to breathe," she giggles and struggles to push Luz off her. "Fuck! I can't think straight," she lets her head fall back as Luz slowly kisses down her neck. "God, babe. You're making me so wet."
"You're funny," Luz laughs and gives her collarbone a soft kiss before pulling herself away to look at her cute girlfriend. Her face is flushed from the alcohol and she looks absolutely desperate. But they're here in her apartment all by themselves and they're drunk and they're both really turned on. She has this girl all to herself and she can do whatever she wants.
That thought is numbing to her. Her heart races with excitement, but then she sees Amity biting her lip and she reaches up to gently hold Luz's face.
"Babe," she whimpers quietly, leaning in to give her a sweet little kiss. "I want you. You're everything I want."
"I love you," Luz tells her and kisses her again. "I just don't know…what to do."
"What do you mean, babe?" She looks at her with such concern, such love that it makes her heart hurt. She loves Amity so much and she can't imagine not being with her. She wants to keep having sex and she wants to date her but what is it all worth? She's been so terrible to her… she can't see why Amity still bothers.
Why this is still happening makes her want to laugh. This whole thing is so stupid and it wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to feel like this about her. "Talk to me," she whispers and pulls her into a hug.
"I want to be with you," she admits quietly, squeezing her eyes tight with shame. "I want you."
"I want you too. Let's do it. Let's be together."
"But we don't make any sense."
"We don't need to. I don't care about anything, I just want you." She pulls her closer and she yelps when they stumble back and fall onto the bed, Luz falling on top of her. "I don't care if we don't make sense," she says and she reaches up to hold Luz's face again when she pulls away to look at her.
"But… I treat you so badly." She nuzzles into her girlfriend's soft hand, feeling so guilty for it. She knows she's never going to be enough for this girl even if she did love her. She would never be what she deserved. And she didn't need to be if Amity didn't want her to. But things staying like this scared her a little. It all sinks in when Amity stays quiet and she looks away. "I still want to hurt you and do all of these bad things…"
"I don't care, babe. If…" she sighs. "If that makes you feel good then I'll do it for you. I want everything."
That's horrifying.
"You… want me to hurt you?"
Amity nods vigorously. "I want whatever you want. You're my life."
Luz sighs and buries her face in her neck again. She's so confused and she doesn't know what to do anymore. Part of the satisfaction of hurting her was her resistance. Now she wants it? What does that mean, that now she wants it? Has she really been so conditioned about everything, that now she's blindsided, addicted to the point of confusion?
She needs to leave her. She's broken her beyond repair now. She can't love her. That would be so wrong. "Amity?"
"Yes, my love?"
"I love you… so much." her voice cracks, and the absolute shame she feels saying those words almost crushes her.
"I love you too!" She cries. Luz pulls away again and is surprised when she sees a tear rolling down her cheek. She wipes it away with her thumb and kisses her lips softly. Amity moans and clutches at Luz's hair, her other hand holding on tightly to her shoulder. The kiss is tender but passionate, yet somehow different from any other time they've kissed. It's quiet and understanding and romantic. She feels Amity's grip loosen on her shoulder and she traces down to gently rest on Luz's back, leaning deeper into the kiss.
This feels serious. But Luz can't exactly determine how seriously she should take this, judging by the drunkenness of her girlfriend. She tastes it on her lips… she's so soft and sweet. She's beautiful. She doesn't deserve to be in her arms like this, hearing her moans or feeling her hands on her. She shouldn't be here right now. She doesn't deserve her.
Luz pulls away only to give her another quick peck when she immediately misses kissing her. Amity brushes their lips together, gently dragging her warm tongue over Luz's bottom lip and then biting it softly. "I don't want anything but this." She says quietly, her breath hot on her lips. And it's enough confirmation, at least enough for right now. If she wants this then so does Luz. She wants her more than anything.
It was finally over.
She'd changed so much. Really, she has Disney to thank for the worst (best?) thing to ever happen to her. Because working on their show, she met the love of her life. She was so young when it happened, and she wasn't ready. But she guesses the best things happen unexpectedly.
She wouldn't have it any other way.
And she knows it's messed up—their whole relationship is messed up. It's like a rotten, molded apple, but Amity still insists to herself that it's delicious and juicy and worth it.
To her, it was. The bar was low, but Amity was lower. She can't help but feel sad all the time these days, and she thinks it's because of Luz. How can someone make her so happy and yet so incredibly sad at the same time?
She doesn't know, but it doesn't need an answer. She doesn't want an answer. She doesn't know the answer.
Amity was a woman without dignity. She was seventeen when this all happened, and somehow the time left her in the past years. She's an adult now, responsible and independent but still stuck with the same person. She does her job and goes through the motions only because she has to. Maybe she'd just have sex with her girlfriend for a living if that was possible. She felt like that's the only thing she was good for anyways.
She thought she had something to her, she thought she had dreams and goals before, but now she can't quite remember them. She thinks about it, and it's sad how Luz is the only thing in her brain. She forces herself to want other things because she can't have one wish and it be the only thing unreachable. She knows she's capable of a lot of things, but she cuts herself short.
For what, she doesn't know.
Even then, she's still pretty successful. She's an actress, and she gets to meet some amazing people, but no one compares to Luz Noceda. She's so pretty. So perfect. She's everything Amity's ever wanted, and she realizes that now. Even if it wasn't.
Neither of them actually watch their shows because well, they're full grown adults on Disney Channel, and why would they? That's embarrassing. They kind of just film for them every day and are never aware of the products at the end because they can't be bothered to. Something about dignity. Which, Amity has none of. Luz definitely does, or— acts like she does. She doesn't.
She's so different from the girl on the TV to the girl she's in bed with every night.
She's got this persona and with her popularity has quite literally become the new mascot of Disney with her cheery attitude in the interviews. It's no wonder that she'd become so successful here. Amity's not sure she fits here anymore.
Everyone's so nice and happy, but Amity feels everything but that. They're so hospitable to her, truly she has a great crew and even then she couldn't be bothered to try and show an ounce of respect, because all of it is reserved for one person only.
All she can think about is Luz. It kind of hurts seeing her so happy, so friendly, so focused at work when she struggles to even remember lines sometimes.
It's a shame they pay so well. Neither of them would be leaving anytime soon.
It's a cool night in October, a week after the finale of The Owl House aired on TV. It's been three years she'd worked on this show.
She was glad it was over. Judging by the way everyone else looked tonight, so did they. The wrap party was at some restaurant that Amity couldn't remember. Luz drove them there and as they walked in, her arm wrapped around her waist, receiving a soft kiss on her temple, she didn't really care where they were.
"Be good tonight, okay?" Luz says quietly close to her ear and nips there softly which, ooh, scandalous. It sends a daring shiver up her spine and she relishes to wonder about what Luz might do if she misbehaved a little tonight? What delicious punishments might that get her?
Amity only hums, deliberately avoiding giving a definitive answer to her controlling girlfriend.
Of course, immediately upon walking in, they pulled away because they didn't want to raise anymore suspicion about their 'relationship'. At this point, Amity doesn't know what it is. But she doesn't care. She's past the point of no return. She's here until the end, hers until her heart dies.
Everyone is here, looking quite nice. Willow wore a cute cardigan to smartly combat the cold, unlike Amity who only dressed to impress one person.
Gus wore a nice dress shirt, making him look formidable and at least Amity could take him a bit more seriously than usual. There was Eda wearing... whatever it was she was wearing and her in-show sister Lilith, who was always wearing dark colors, which looked surprisingly good with her dark raven hair. A lot of people who worked behind the scenes like editors and boom mics and what nots.
Still, Amity couldn't care less about anyone except her girlfriend right beside her. Her girlfriend! For tonight, it's her little secret. She wouldn't slip up. She would behave.
Standing off to the side, Amity watches as everyone greets and mingles together like the upperclassmen that they are. They're from Disney Channel for god's sake. She watches and— more specifically Luz as she smiled and hugged and shook hands, acting so bright and cheerful. Telling jokes and being her charming, beautiful self while Amity couldn't be bothered to do any of the casualties.
After Luz makes her rounds, she comes back to Amity who's standing by the receptionist booth looking gloomy with her arms crossed.
"Anything wrong, hermosa?" She asks, and it makes Amity's heart skip a beat only slightly. She leans back against the wall beside her and she leans in to give her girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek. Amity freezes up, but realizes that there's a wall and divider blocking them from the view of their TV family.
"I'm fine," she hesitates, rubbing her arm absentmindedly.
"You don't look fine." Amity looks up at her girlfriend, feels overcome with love and desire for her. She struggles to speak with her breath taken away and ends up making a weird little noise that makes Luz laugh. "C'mon. Talk to me."
"I just…" she sighs. "I really didn't want to come to this. I don't think I can do it."
"Do what?"
"Pretend and… act like I'm…"
"We've done it for three years, right? You can pretend for a couple hours."
Amity bites her lip. "I guess so."
"Well, neither of us have a choice. We're here. So I'll tell you what." She eyes Amity carefully.
"What?"
"You're going to behave, and you're going to stay quiet and let me do all the talking." She shivers when Luz leans in close again. "You'll be a good girl, yeah?"
Amity nods silently.
Having something to live up to really did make this more interesting and fun. She had a purpose to be here, finally, and that was to be Luz's pretty little secret, stay quiet and earn her reward later tonight. Easy and fun and hot. She was so happy and excited.
They eventually sit down in a crowded little area at the back of the restaurant reserved for the crew. There's constant traffic along the aisles as people get up to go to other tables and what not. Of course, Amity's sitting with Luz because would it even make sense if she didn't?
Sitting with them is Gus and Willow until Gus gets up to go to visit a table where Boscha and Mattholomule and a few others were sitting. And Amity's unsettled because to her, he was the peacekeeper. Which is petty because— adults. She remembers her little encounters with Willow and the way she treated her even if she was probably the sweetest girl she'd ever met. She wants to shrivel up on her seat and turn to ash. Or maybe she'd rather curl up on Luz's lap.
"So," Willow starts off cheerfully even despite everything, and she brings her cup to her lips to sip her iced tea. Everyone appreciates her efforts. "You guys been up to anything?"
Amity stammers because— what did she mean? You guys as in Luz and Amity together? She probably meant that loosely, like as a phrase. Like maybe—
Luckily, Luz swoops in like the superhero-princess she is and answers the question like a normal person. "Yep, I already got casted on another show," she grins broadly and Willow's jaw drops.
"Already?" She gasps. "That's so amazing, Luz!"
"Ehhh," she bites back a guilty smile and shrugs. "I'm exhausted. You know. I have to pay the bills somehow."
"Hey, I'll drink to that," Willow giggles, and Amity fights one because she bets Willow doesn't even know the name of one alcohol. Granted, neither does she but, she'd drank before. That was the main takeaway. And Willow saying that was unsettling. She can't imagine Willow drinking. Luz laughs, seemingly thinking the same thing. "I just recently moved out too."
"Oh yeah? Where'd you move to?" Luz asks, easy breezy. Amity can't help but watch her and feel so pleasantly helpless. She loves the thought of being hers. Keeping quiet and protecting their little secret. She likes that maybe people are suspicious of them, that they don't know what she and Luz get up to sometimes. How only she knows this different side of her girlfriend that no one else ever will. She wants to kiss her and feel her hands on her. She wants to be punished. Maybe... maybe she should misbehave a little. Maybe. Just to feel her pain and the pleasure.
"—Amity? What about you?" Willow asks. "Amity?"
Amity jumps to attention, her cheeks flushing. All she can think about is Luz. Her hands touching her, her mouth kissing her and her tongue... sigh, her tongue. She bites her lip and takes a deep breath to steady herself. "I'm, uh. I moved a while ago. I'm near here." She glances to Luz for approval and feels a pang in her chest at the little look she gives her, that glint in her eyes. She wants to go home right now and show her what that look did to her.
"Oh, nice. I didn't know that." She smiles politely. You can see her searching for something else to say. She directs her attention back to Luz and asks, "So, you're nineteen next week, huh?"
"Yeah," Luz laughs stiffly.
It goes quiet and Amity feels kind of bad. She would want to be Willow's friend and talk to her about cookie recipes if she hadn't remembered that she maybe kind of sort of turned them in at work. She doesn't have any real proof that she was the one who'd said anything, and something deep down inside of Amity knew that Willow wasn't that type of person.
But like all of her inexplicable rage, she needs somewhere to place it. Even if the person filling her heart with most of it is also her future wife. Amity chews on her straw, taking a sip of her water as she watches Luz again. Her finger tapping idly on the table.
She looks so easy, in control and at peace. Amity knows it's all a facade and she wants to take that away from her, just a little bit, just to see what she'd do. Maybe she'd get lucky again tonight. So, with a mischievous grin tugging the corner of her lips, Amity clears her throat and addresses Willow. "Anything going on with you?" She asks politely, and the both of them stare at her in shock.
"Me? Oh, I'm fine. Um, no, nothing." Willow laughs, a bit unsettled. "Just, you know. Busy with work. What about you?"
"I'm well," she pauses and glances at Luz who looks confused. "Actually, we got reported at work a while ago."
"Wh—at?" She laughs awkwardly. "Luz sneaking alcohol again?"
"No. Apparently we're in an unprofessional and inappropriate relationship, and, oh, what was it, Luz?" She turns to her companion, a whiny pout on her face. Luz looks completely caught off guard. Hah. She wasn't expecting that. "For us to please Tone it down."
"Wow."
"Yeah. Odd, isn't it?" Amity smiles bitterly, resting her head on her hand and leaning on the table, watching Willow with guilty pleasure twisting in her chest. "I wonder who reported us."
Amity got a couple of bruises that night.
She spent the better part of the afternoon squeezing her legs together, shifting her posture, standing in different ways to try and ease the dull aching between her legs. It's a constant nagging and reminder of her big problem that she had no plans to fix in the near future. For a while, she likes the feeling and she loves sitting in it and thinking about Luz and what she might do to her this time if she begged hard enough.
And then when they finally had sex that night, she sighed in relief to have it finally be taken care of. Not gone, because it never went away, her constant longing to be touched by her girlfriend. But at least this helped for about an hour at most, her blessing and her curse.
She rolls to her side, deliciously spent from their long night together. She doesn't think she's ever going to get tired of this feeling. She never wants to stop, even if she knows too much of a good thing is not a good thing. She knows she really shouldn't be having sex as often as they do but something about Luz has her hormones raging, she thinks. She'll get over it soon enough.
But she feels like she can never get enough, no matter how much they do it or how fast, slow, or how hard. She feels so insatiable these days and all she wants is her girlfriend's head between her legs and her hands on her chest to send her off into voidless pleasure filled ecstasies to soften the intense longing she feels even if just for a little while.
She's sort of like a drug at this point. A beautiful, insufferable, hot, miserable drug that she takes every day.
She watches her girlfriend in her exhausted and dream-like haze and they just stare at each other with a thick infatuation in the tense air between them. Her hair is stuck to her forehead from sweat, sweat that she is more than pleased to know that she caused, and she is deliciously naked. She takes so much pride in seeing her bare shoulders and feeling her skin to skin like she's always wanted and so deprived of.
"You're so amazing," she says, breathlessly panting for air. She can't believe the burning pleasure she gets to feel every night because she has such a fantastic girlfriend. Desperate, she pulls herself closer to her and buries her face in her neck, feeling the dampness of sweat against her cheeks, breathing it in and even sticking her tongue out to taste it, salty on her taste buds.
She doesn't care if that's extreme. She feels like one of those creeps, intensely obsessed with the feeling and thought of this girl that she's in bed with, so she does everything she can to feel her. She wants her in every corner of her life. She wants her in every dream. She wants to be crushed under her and she wants to be suffocated by her. She wants her warmth and her body so much that it aches. She wants her, but she just can't get close enough. She groans and because she's selfish, she demands, "Pay attention to me."
Luz brings a gentle, exhausted hand up to the back of her neck, slipping into the hair smoothly on the nape of it, and presses a warm kiss to her forehead, but that's about all she gets. All it does is aggravate her more, her heart eating it up in a matter of seconds and then yearning desperately for more touch, more love. The rational part of her knows that yes, they just had sex and they're both worn out and can barely move, but the irrational side of her brain feels extremely undercut and incredulous. She doesn't feel close enough! She can't feel her!
"I said pay attention to me," Amity demands again after a while, because she is nearing her wit's end. But she was never going to give it up. She couldn't.
"Stop being a bitch," Luz tells her sternly and pushes her away with a hand on her face. Amity's sexual frustration pushes her to bite it, trying desperately to catch a finger or anything in her mouth and show her what it's like to hurt— but she quickly pulls that hand away to hit her in the lip. The dull pain pulsing from the impact makes her emptier, because somehow her confused heart has turned it into affection because it was a touch affecting a sensation, and that Luz did anything at all was a dream come true.
"Please," she begs as Luz moves to turn over in bed, her back to her. How dare she? Amity puts a stop to that and climbs over her, pressing their naked bodies close and trapping her in a deep and bitter kiss. They both push into it because it's like their way of talking it out and that's the only way to ease the ache in her chest. It's painful when Luz bites her lip between her teeth and digs her nails into Amity's back and it feels so good to be feeling something again. She lets Luz take control and lets her take it out on her, and finds herself pleasantly satisfied, at least for now.
They unprecedentedly have sex again, and she lays alone in bed when Luz gets up to shower, feeling empty and devoid of purpose once again. What is she going to do?
Ugh.
She hates feeling like this.
Amity is glad when she finally gets to spend time with her girlfriend. She'd been so busy with her new show. But she thinks she's the happiest she's ever been for a long time and it was something new for her to do.
She'd gotten so used to her usual routines. She somehow feels like she's making progress being apart from Luz. She thinks the distance is making them grow stronger, and when they finally touch, it's that much sweeter and that much better.
Maybe Luz didn't feel the same that way. But Amity likes it because her girlfriend was being clingy. More so than usual, and that's not a normal thing for her really. She likes having Luz pick her up from work, likes being interrogated on who she saw that day. She likes that Luz is worried. Finally she feels like all of her pain is paying off.
It'd been a full week of auditions and then rejection, but Amity was finally able to get a part on something feasible, something that would pay her bills. She's been working hard, and she hadn't had any reassurance on that for a while as Luz was also busy with work.
But now, it was finally time. Amity was so excited. She wanted to make it special. It was the weekend, she had been waiting for news on two other auditions she'd done, the anxiety of it plaguing her thoughts. She wanted to relax and feel good with her girlfriend for tonight and all during the weekend. Everything was perfect.
She even bought new lingerie.
Finally. Sitting here like this on her girlfriend's lap, safe in her arms, she feels so incredibly powerful. She wants to stay right here forever, pressed against her warm skin, feeling her hands on her body.
And even if she was tremendously turned on, too much for her own good, she wants to be in the moment for a little while.
When things get started with them it's such a blur and things tend to go so fast when she's desperate and in the heat of the moment.
Trembling with nervous excitement, she wraps her arms around her soft, cute girlfriend, kissing her neck affectionately. She feels so special under the finger that traces the intricate lacing on her new bra, just being close to her puts Amity in a hazy daydream. "How do you feel?" She asks gently, just wanting to hear her girlfriend's voice. She's missed her so much. "Talk to me babe."
She feels Luz take a deep breath and Amity just about dies under the feeling of it—their stomachs pressing together and then the bitter ache in her chest when she exhales and they aren't so closely pressed together anymore. It only makes her cling tighter and want her even more. Goodness, she's so helplessly obsessed with this girl and the way she feels that she doesn't know what she's going to do with herself.
After a quiet moment, Luz says with shame in her voice, "I dunno. I've been getting so… upset over you lately…"
Amity blinks, confused but very endeared to finally be the heart throb for once. She has some questionable standards, yes, but she couldn't care any less. "What do you mean?"
She struggles for the words and Amity can just feel her embarrassed hesitance. She loves it when Luz gets like this, it lets her know—or at least makes her think that she's been thinking about her, spends time uselessly trying to remember the feeling of her touch or the softness of her kiss just like Amity did so often that it may as well be her new hobby. But that's besides the point. Everything inside her jolts when Luz quietly admits, "I feel so possessive over you."
"You feel possessive?" She bites back an ecstatic grin and fights the urge to kiss her again. She has to maintain her assertiveness or else Luz could just pin her to the bed and give her a million reasons to stay in her place when it came to power dynamics with them.
"Mhm," she sighs and Amity feels her nod. "I hate that I let myself get like this."
"Like what, babe?"
"Like… how I can't stand it when you're talking to anyone else. I hate it when other people make you laugh and I hate when you aren't paying attention to me."
"It's okay to feel that way," she says, even if she knows she shouldn't have. It's enabling even more toxicity that she doesn't want to even think about— but why is her stomach in knots at the simple confession? She's already experienced Luz's possessive and controlling behaviors and even if it's overbearing at times, it's extremely hot to her. She wants her to. "I like that."
"I know you do. It's just exhausting, worrying about another person all the time." She sighs, a gentle hand holding her girlfriend's back. "I wish I didn't care."
Wow, she thinks, feeling so accomplished and sexy. Was this her mission? Does this mean she loves her?
"So... you'd care if I kissed someone else?" She asks in an innocent voice, softly trailing little kisses along her girlfriend's shoulders and up her neck.
"...A little more than ' care'. "
"What would you do to me?" She dares to ask.
"I don't know. Something bad." She giggles. "I'd make sure you regretted it."
Amity gasps incredulously, the sweet little nothing going straight between her legs and not to her head where she would have realized how concerning that was, even if it was just dirty talk. Things get a little bit off topic when Luz slips under her bra and teases her nipple. It feels so good and she gladly rides that wave of teasing pleasure until there's a guilty little wet spot on her underwear. She wants more and she wants it faster and harder. "What if I had sex with someone else? Would you be mad?" She asks, moaning teasingly.
"Don't even say that, princess," she grins, almost delirious. "I'm not planning on that happening."
"Why not? I could be cheating and you don't even know it."
Luz is quiet for a moment.
"You're too much of a coward to cheat on me," she says matter of factly and swipes her tongue quickly up her neck, holding back another laugh when Amity moans again. "No one makes you feel the way I do."
God, she hates how right she is. She's trapped no matter how much she tries, how much she loves her. No matter how much she butters her up and sweet talks her, she's always the one that gets burned at the end for it. Because she knows Luz doesn't exactly love her, not fully. Not like the way Amity does, so sick and in love enough to come crawling back to her even after everything.
The only thing she feels is pain, even if it's masked or feels like love. It's all caused by the absence of her. But it doesn't matter anymore when she's pushed down onto the bed, rocking her hips against her girlfriend's body on top of her and receiving her frenzied, deep kiss.
She clutches desperately for her hair and pants for air, that same familiar warmth builds between her legs as she lets herself edge closer and closer to her demise, the feeling she's a slave to. She doesn't care if Luz is only here for fun or if she doesn't love her. She's a fool and even if the signs are obvious and glaring, she feels her hands and she feels her kiss, and so it's alright.
She'd been missing Amity a lot. She was always gone, going to auditions and trying to get herself back in business, which Luz can appreciate. There really wasn't much time for them these days because they were so busy. Luz would come in late, Amity would leave early.
Then something weird started happening, and Luz didn't know what to do.
It all started three weeks ago, when Luz had just come in around eleven at night from a long day of work. She stumbles into the bedroom, body aching and tired. She hopes that maybe Amity would touch her and make her feel better.
She finds her sitting with her legs crossed on the bed, papers spread out in front of her. "Hey," Luz says, confused. She drops her bag on the ground by the door.
"Hi, babe," she looks up, smiling her pretty smile. She quickly climbs out of bed to invite herself into Luz's arms, pulling her down by the neck to kiss her deeply. And their kisses are never normal kisses, Luz guesses that's the problem. There's always tongue and there's always lip biting, mainly because of Amity. Luz was exhausted and ready for bed, but her little girlfriend was such a handful sometimes. Still, Luz couldn't really complain. Amity pulls away, playfully brushes their noses together. "How was your day?"
"Fine, I guess." She sighs, feeling empty again when Amity takes herself out of Luz's arms to get back in bed. "What about you?" She asks as she's taking off her jacket, tosses it on the dresser. She takes off her shoes and gets into bed next to her girlfriend.
"It was great. I just got the script for my new show." She takes a page and hands it to Luz. She takes it, blinking at its contents. She hadn't read a script in ages. So cryptic. Something about a magical forest, blah blah, standard Disney junk.
"Cool. When does filming start?"
"Three weeks," she takes the page back, places it neatly back in its place. "I'm trying to get a feel for the world, really get into my character, you know?"
Luz laughs a little, turning to lay on her side and she props her head on her hand, watches her Amity with intense longing twisting through her chest. "You're excited." She points out.
Amity hesitates. "Yes. I guess I am." She shrugs. "I'm happy to be part of something new. I think I like acting."
"You do like acting. And you're great at it." She closes her eyes when Amity reaches over to brush her fingers through her hair. It feels so good, so soft. She loves her so much that it's insane. "I missed you," she whispers, and the ache in her heart pulls her closer to Amity. She rests her head in her lap, Amity continues to gently stroke her head.
"I missed you too, my love."
Luz hums, content and comfortable. It's quiet for a while, a companionable silence as Amity reads her script and Luz dozes off in her lap. She wants to fall asleep just like this.
And then something hits her. Suddenly, she wants to know, "Have you met the crew yet?"
"On Thursday. There was an orientation and I got to meet a few of the people on the show."
"What were they like?"
Amity hums. "They were nice. They weren't all there, but I got to meet the main girl. Her and I hit it off quite well."
Something foreign pinched inside of Luz then, and suddenly she feels… bothered. "Oh yeah?" She keeps her tone easy breezy.
"Mhm," she hums again and she playfully pinches Luz's ear.
But Luz is not tired anymore. She's pretty annoyed, actually. She feels exhausted already, thinking about how much she's going to have to stress over this. It's stupid and she tries to tell herself that she's overreacting. Besides, she hadn't met this girl. She would have to meet her first, then decide if she should be worried.
But this was Amity. And they were practically in a committed relationship. Amity is in love with her, no one else. Luz is the only one she loves, thinks about, wants, needs. Amity's told her before, that she's the only thing she wants. Amity is hers. She belonged to Luz, forever.
Luz feels like she needs to do something, and nothing's even happened yet. Suddenly, she sits up beside her girlfriend. She looks so cute, so alluring in her oversized t-shirt and her shorts. Luz wants her. She watches her Amity for a moment, and when she catches her, she raises an eyebrow. "Yes, my love?"
"Nothing. Just looking at your cute face." She grins. She leans in to kiss her cheek, and Amity bites her lip. Satisfied, Luz continues, kissing down her jaw and neck, slow and soft. "Aren't you almost done?" She asks quietly.
"Almost." She hesitates, her voice desperate. "But if…"
"It can wait."
"Of course, babe." She pushes the pages away and she pulls herself into Luz's lap. She feels so warm, fits so perfectly there. She wraps her arms around her neck and they stare at each other. "Anything for you." She leans in, nipping at Luz's bottom lip. She tries to pull back, but Luz is much too impatient and she pulls her in by the hair, kissing her hotly. She's so stuffy from it, her quiet moans and her warm tongue swirling around hers.
Ah. There it is. There's her confirmation. Especially the way she's kissing her so deeply, so passionately. Luz has nothing to worry about.
And then she sees her. The first time is a little while after Amity starts filming the new show. She comes to pick her girlfriend up, scope out the area, get a feel for where her Amity would be spending her days. It's a much nicer building than the one Luz filmed at, for sure. She texts Amity for the gate code, drives through the strong security system and is thoroughly, incredulously impressed.
She pulls up in front of the main entrance, and right away she spots her girlfriend standing out front, chatting with some blonde girl. Luz's heart dips, and she feels a bit dizzy all of the sudden. She thinks that girl is definitely the one. She's definitely someone Amity would be into. She could picture them together, and in her mind it made sense. She seemed nice.
She wonders if she should make a scene of it. Should she go introduce herself? Should she be nice, or act rude? Should she finally harness her social dominance and use her status as a Disney Channel Star to assert herself?
No, it's probably better to wait.
Nah, she's definitely going up to her. Before Luz can stop herself, she gets out of the car, and it's only then when Amity sees her. They'd been so deep in conversation that she hadn't even noticed. She wonders what they were talking about that was so important. "Oh, Luz!" She motions her over. Luz sighs, suddenly nervous. Which is weird, because she shouldn't be intimidated about something like this. Someone like her.
She wants to make an impression, she doesn't care if it's good or bad. She just wants that girl to know what type of couple they are, she wants her to know who's in charge, who she's up against.
So her entrance is grand, and she walks up to Amity and pulls her into a deep kiss. Her girlfriend hums in shock, trying her best to kiss back. Luz holds her for as long as she can, and when Amity pulls back she shivers, stumbling for her balance and clutching onto Luz.
"Hi, babe," she whispers, biting her lip before stealing one last kiss. She pulls herself out of Luz's arms and joins her little friend by her side. "This is my girlfriend!"
"Nice to meet you. Luz Noceda," she says, her tone light and easy. She reaches out for a friendly handshake, and the girl's hand feels soft and delicate in hers. She holds it tightly, giving her a firm shake, then shoves it back in her pocket afterwards.
"Oh, wow. Right! You are Luz Noceda. What an honor. I'm Sabrina." She stammers, her voice shaking. "You're from The Owl House!"
"Yeah, that's me." She smiles broadly, but her breath hitched in her throat when she noticed the way that Amity is hanging onto Sabrina. She's pressed up against her, which is only something she ever does with Luz. It drives her crazy, kind of. "I'm uh, Luz Noceda. We're gonna get going now, I think."
"Oh, okay then," she nods and then turns to pull Amity into a hug. No one hugs her Amity. No one gets to touch her Amity. That hug lingers a bit too long for Luz's likings and she starts to get hot. She tugs at her collar, trying to get some air. She has to think fast.
She laughs awkwardly and clears her throat. "We're gonna be late for our reservations," she lies.
Amity gasps and pulls away to look at Luz, her eyes begging the question. "We're going on a date?"
Luz nods vigorously. "Mhm, so let's hurry."
She takes a deep breath and literally pulls Amity away, taking her hand, she can't handle it anymore. Luz tugs her in, causing her girlfriend to stumble into her arms. "Babe!" She laughs, trying to pull herself away, but Luz is an insecure asshole so she traps her into a hug.
"How was your day?" She asks sweetly and kisses her forehead, making a show of it just for her pretty little friend standing there and watching them. Amity struggles, eventually being able to successfully pull out of her grip and she glares at Luz before turning to her friend.
For some reason, that really upsets Luz. That really makes her feel bad. A wave of anger rushes through her, hot and unprecedented. Amity is supposed to be obedient and answer to Luz's every beck and call. Why is she acting like she's different now? All for this… girl?
Luz grabs Amity by the shoulder and jerks her around to face her again. She eyes her, stern and expectant, hoping that she doesn't say or do the wrong thing because Luz doesn't know how she'll react if Amity resists her again. Amity stares back disapprovingly. "I asked you a question." She says slowly, daring her.
"My day was fine." She says sternly.
The girl clears her throat awkwardly behind them, and they turn to look at her. Amity's face flushes, and she yanks herself away from Luz. "I have to go, Bri. See you tomorrow." She says and pushes past Luz to get in the car.
"See you later, Ami!" The girl calls back hesitantly, her voice soft and sweet. It takes everything in Luz to not murder her. She stands awkwardly for a moment, wonders idly if she should even attempt to say anything. She's already butchered that, no sense in trying to repair what this girl probably thinks of her. Instead, she rushes after her girlfriend. Amity's arms are crossed and she's staring out of the window when Luz gets in the car.
"Really? What was that all about?" She glares at her. Luz shrugs and puts the car into drive. "Answer me!" She yells.
"I was ready to go."
"Oh yeah? Well you embarrassed me and yourself in front of my coworker."
"Don't care."
Amity groans. "You can forget about that date."
"Good, cause I didn't have anything planned anyway."
The car goes silent for the rest of the drive, and when Luz tries to pull her girlfriend close as they walk into the apartment, she pushes her away. "Don't touch me." She says and storms to the room. And that really upsets Luz.
She's going to hurt her. She doesn't care. She will not be coming in to work tomorrow.
"Hey," she follows after her, catching the door before it can slam in her face. She tackles her to the bed and Amity shrieks. She pins her arms over her head, keeps her down with her hips. Amity thrashes and struggles, trying to get her arms free. It's a good thing she's so small and easy to take advantage of. "What the hell is your problem?"
"Let me go!" Is all she says, her voice strained and desperate. Luz traps her in with her knees on either side of her hips, pressing herself against Amity's thrashing body.
"Answer me!" She tightens her grip around her wrists with one hand, and with the other, she takes the first step to calming her down. First, she traces two fingers down to her lips, forcing them into her mouth. "Suck," she demands and Amity only retaliates, biting it hard. Luz hisses in pain, quickly pulling her fingers out to flail her wrist. It hurts so much, but it only turns Luz on more in this wrong, sadistic way.
"Never."
Luz groans quietly and starts to get deliciously impatient. She forces them back inside of her mouth and presses her index finger down on the very back of her tongue near her throat and causes her to gag. "Be good, Amity. Be a good girl for me."
"I don't want to."
She finally pulls her fingers out again and drags the thick trail of saliva down Amity's soft, pretty lip, down to her chin and slowly down her neck. Luz leans down and brushes her lips against hers. "I'm gonna have to punish you for that." She grumbles quietly, her voice is soft but ominous, just enough to elicit a moan from her girlfriend when she forces her into a deep kiss.
She sits back up, leaving Amity panting to go to the next thing. She lifts up her shirt and exposes her pretty pink lacy bra. Amity closes her eyes and turns her head to the side, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She weakly bucks her hips, moaning in protest.
For a moment, Luz feels like herself for the first time since whenever. Overwhelmed with control, relentless and intense. She's filled with envy, that fire she always felt inside for Amity, the one that makes her crave her screams, to destroy, to see her in pain. And right now she's so helpless, so vulnerable and so irresistibly open for Luz to do anything she wants.
"Stop." She begs quietly, but it's not enough. Not nearly enough to deter Luz. She slides the bra strap down her left shoulder because it's the closest thing to removing it. She wouldn't be able to fully take it off because she only had one free hand and Amity was laying on her back. She was not about to let her go. "Luz, stop. I don't want this."
"Yes you do," she tells her sweetly. She proceeds to tug at her bra until it's low enough and she has good enough access to cause some damage. This would get her back on her knees in front of Luz. This would reset her. This would show her who's in control. She starts from her collarbone, traces her finger all the down her chest, drags it over her nipple. As soon as she touches her, Amity hisses and arches her back. "You like that?" She asks, trailing her finger back up to do it all over again.
Amity bites her lip. "No. Stop." But Luz doesn't stop. She swirls her fingernail around her nipple, tugging gently at it just to hear those sweet reactions from her cute, obedient girlfriend. "Sto—op." She moans breathlessly.
"I'm not stopping. You need to tell me what your problem is. This is punishment." Luz grabs a handful of her small breast, squeezes it tightly in her hand and kneads it roughly, making the girl under her cry out. "I'll keep going until you cry. If you answer my question, I'll stop."
"Fine," she huffs, twisting and squirming under her hand. She bucks her hips again, but it's to no avail. Her arms suspended over her head, her body completely trapped and pinned to the bed, she's deliciously and perfectly helpless. Just the way Luz likes her. She doesn't know why she ever stopped with this. "I can't focus like this."
"I don't care. Now go on." She ominously leaves her chest alone and shifts up higher on her body so that she's straddling Amity's stomach instead, leaving her whole bottom half accessible. And Luz doesn't care. She wants to make Amity lose control, so she doesn't hesitate to slip under her leggings and then her underwear. She doesn't mind the wetness of her girlfriend already, and the fact that anything's barely even happened yet. She knows Amity likes this, being forced and punished. Luz likes it too. She first swirls her index finger over her clit, slow and easy with her arousal making it so addicting.
Amity moans, gasping for air. She spreads her legs open wider, jerking her hips into the touch. "I'm waiting, Amity." Luz says sternly while she still massages her clit, she uses her two fingers to spread open her folds, and then slips between to sink deep inside her warm sex. She jerks them in a thrusting motion, in and out while her index still circled her clit. And all of her best efforts don't come short of praise, because Amity lets out a string of lewd noises, panting for air and jerking her hips along with each thrust of the fingers unrightfully inside her, invading her. "Tell me what's bothering you."
"I fucking hate you!" She cries, weakly rolls her hips. "I don't want this! Please stop!"
"You don't want me to stop. If I stopped, you would beg for more. I already know you, Amity."
She whines, forcefully defeated. "I just—… I just hate how you always have to control everything I do."
"And?"
"And I can't ever do anything without you—!" She mewls when Luz slowly drags her fingers up and down her clit, rubbing and flicking and fucking her into oblivion. "You never trust me!" She huffs. "Stop, stop!"
"But you're so close," she purrs innocently, and keeps teasing her clit, slowing the pace. She only knows because she'd been with Amity for so long. It's been years of this. She knows her better than she knows herself. "Keep going, babe."
Amity writhes in place, yanking her pinned wrists. "I wish you would stop trying to control me! I'm not your toy!" She gives up, and Luz feels her soft walls clench around her fingers. She lets out a long sigh before she pulls her coated fingers out of her girlfriend. Amity pants heavily, her eyes closing. And just like every time, she felt guilty, only for a moment.
She lays down on top of her and finally releases her wrists, burying her face in her neck softly. She listens to her girlfriend's racing heart, her heavy breath. Despite everything, Amity gently strokes her hair because she knows she likes that.
Damn her.
It's quiet for a long, uncomfortable moment, and eventually she starts to hear the quiet sobs of her girlfriend, the shaking of her shoulders and her little sniffles. It's gratifying in a way, because this is what she did it for. To hear her cry and to make her weak. She knows Amity liked that. And she'll beg for it because she's addicted to Luz and she's addicted sex and Luz can give that to her! If only…
After a while, Amity finally speaks, her fingers scratching gently in Luz's scalp, her voice shaky and careful. "Is there something bothering you, my love?"
"I'm jealous," Luz blurts out before she can stop herself. "I don't like your new friend. It makes me mad how you have to see her every day."
"Luz, …she's my co-worker." She sounds annoyed, her voice watery and weak.
"I know, but that's what I was too. I was just your co-worker. And then what happened?"
Amity stays quiet. Her hand stops, and she doesn't stroke Luz's hair anymore. "I have a life, Luz. Whether you like it or not. And you're being petty."
"I… I don't care. I don't want you seeing her anymore."
"I'm not ' seeing' her." She says incredulously.
"I don't want you working with her."
"Well… you're just going to have to trust me, because I have to go to work. And I'm not leaving just because you're acting like a child about it." She says sternly, but her resolve briefly wavers when Luz pulls back to glare at her. "You… you need to talk to me and communicate how you feel if we want to make this work."
Luz looks away, ashamed.
"And I don't know what gave you the idea that I'd ever do anything like that, but it hurts because I know you don't trust me."
"You're right, I don't."
"You need to tell me why."
She eyes her, expressionless for a moment. Amity sighs and hesitantly leans forward to give her a soft kiss.
She knows why, and it's petty. Luz feels like Amity is slipping away. Things aren't the way that they used to be and change wasn't something to better their relationship. She doesn't want it to get better. She wants someone to control, someone at her feet like Amity was. What if Amity leaves her?
"I don't know." She says finally and sighs, leans in to her girlfriend's touch again.
Her insecurities only worsened, and Luz didn't handle uncertainty well.
She saw her Instagram posts, felt her happiness for someone else. She knows Amity would never cheat or anything like that. She was right, her reasons are just petty and plain stupid. She missed their old way, where it was only them and nobody else. Amity had no interest in anyone or anything except Luz. She wants her all to herself. She doesn't want to share at all.
Luz takes her rage out on her girlfriend. They have rough sex. Every touch is bitter and possessive, every little word is to put her down. Luz marks her up. There's at least ten bruises on her entire body at one point, hickeys all along her neck, bite marks and scratches. They're shameless and in broad daylight for the world to see, because Luz wants everyone to know who Amity belongs to, what she's been through. She ignores her boundaries and takes advantage of her, and that puts her little girlfriend in a deep depression for a bit.
And Luz is not sure if that's what she wanted.
Like blind obedience. She likes her weak Amity, her sad smiles, her bruised body, her soft kisses, her begging and pushing herself to the limit only for Luz. She likes her loyal, dedicated Amity. She got her back. She got what she wanted.
But it's still not quite enough, because she's still working on that show. With that girl. She doesn't know how much more she can ruin this poor girl, and it's getting sad to watch. Even if she loved it.
"Babe," Amity purrs, they're in bed after a long day at work. She's naked, and they'd been making out, her girlfriend perched obediently in her lap. "I wanted to ask you something."
"What is it?"
Amity climbs off of her, and she rummages through the bedside table drawer. She pulls out a Sharpie and hands it to Luz. She takes it, albeit confusedly. "What's this for?"
She sits back in her lap again and she's quiet. She takes a deep breath, taking Luz's hand to guide it on her hip. "I want you to mark me as yours." She whispers.
Luz's eyes widen calmly, and her heart races a bit. But Amity kisses her worries away. She's so soft and warm and sweet. She never wants to let go of her girlfriend, ever. Luz moans, gently holding Amity's face. She must really want this, because her lips are urgent and passionate against hers. She would do anything for her Amity, and this was no exception.
She pulls away, the want and love she feels for her girlfriend dangerous and strong inside her. Luz swallows nervously. "Where should I do it?"
"I was thinking… my back. You can choose the spot." She says sweetly. She gives her another soft kiss before she moves to position herself on Luz's lap but with her back to her. She pulls her hair to one side and puts it over her shoulder. Luz leans in, gently kissing the back of her neck and down to her shoulder. She snakes an arm around her waist and rests her hand on her thigh, stroking up her midriff and holding her girlfriend's cute, small breast in her hand. "I love you," she moans quietly.
"I love you too." She takes the cap off the permanent ink marker, hovering shakily over her skin on the back of her shoulder where she thought she was going to do it. She doesn't want to embarrass Amity too much, if she decides to wear a fancy dress or shirt. So she drifts lower, definitely below where her bra would sit. She gently nudges her back and Amity slightly leans forward, but it's not enough for Luz to write comfortably. "Can you go forward, my love?" She asks close to her ear, kissing her neck.
"Of course," moving to sit on her knees, she rests on her hands for support so that she's on all fours now. Luz relishes at the sight, her cute little girlfriend's ass in her face, she's so obedient and quiet and soft. She rests a gentle hand on the small of her back before slipping the back of her index finger along her sex. Amity shudders, letting out a deep moan. " Fuck," she breathes out.
"I'm going to do it now,"
"Do it."
Fuck. This is crazy and weird. But nothing about them is normal, so she guesses this was fine. She decides on the spot right where her back stops and the small curve of her butt begins. Not too low, not too high. It would be covered by her underwear, and they wouldn't risk anyone seeing it on a normal day. She presses the marker to her girlfriend's smooth skin and writes, property of: Luz Noceda, right in the center. It's stupid and idiotic, but fuck it turns Luz on so much.
From behind, she would have a perfect view of the little brand. A constant reminder of who she belonged to, in case she was lost and needed to be returned to her owner.
"All done."
"Thank you, baby," she lets out a shuddering breath when Luz experimentally presses her face in between her legs, swipes her tongue quickly over her desperate, aching sex. Amity whimpers, struggling to stay in her position and press herself back into her tongue further. "Fuck. Yes," she wiggled her hips, Luz poking her tongue to the center of her clit. Her breathing picks up, and as soon as it starts, Luz stops. "Fuck!"
"I want to fuck you," she says, and they both know that that's as good an answer she's going to get.
Amity ends up back in Luz's lap, and she's kissing her up because she thinks that's her ticket out of it. She says she doesn't want to have sex tonight because she's sore and tired, but Luz only sees an obedient and willing Amity to let her do whatever she wants with her body. But she feels bad, receiving her soft kisses and hearing her moans as she touches her, so she lets her get away with it just this once.
Ugh.
She hates when that time of the month rolls around. Really, the cramps don't bother her too much and she gets through it alright. She doesn't mind the blood and she doesn't mind the cravings or everything else that comes with it.
It's just the feelings that she gets that drives her insane. Sure, she cries a lot more and she finds everything either incredibly sad or amazingly great, no in betweens. She notices the little details more often, like the softness of her girlfriend's voice in the morning. The warmth and the feeling of her. It's no secret that Amity's wound up for her every day of the week.
She's never not ready for— whatever Luz wanted to do. She wasn't opposed to it when she touched her or kissed her. But when it was that time of the month, Amity was shameless . She actively looks for trouble, actively is trying to provoke Luz. She felt bad, but not when she got what she wanted— not when she was pinned under her on the bed and getting the punishment she desperately needed.
She was just so… horny. And there was nothing she could do about it. And she was glad about it. Except that she can't exactly be eaten out while she was leaking blood. That's… less than sexy, but sometimes Amity doesn't care. It's understandable why Luz avoids that until she's off of her period. That just means she'll have to get her fix of her hot girlfriend another way.
Amity groans after having finished pleasuring herself for the third time today, pulling her hand out of her pants to rinse the red off. She tried to avoid sex with Luz because it'd only disappoint her more when she refused to do anything more than fingers over a sanitary pad. This was the only time she would willingly resort to touching herself because she wasn't afraid of getting her hands dirty, even if she hates it and it's chipping away at her sanity.
But it was useless when she came so many times already and that heavy ache between her legs didn't let up at all. She's pissed, really. She likes being turned on but not to this extent. She's turned on for no reason. Any slight touch or brush up against something sends her mad. If Luz is doing mundane things like stretching, her arms over her head and her shirt comes up to reveal her smooth tan skin— Amity is distracted for the rest of the evening.
If she sits down, she's suddenly acutely aware that the seat is pressing up against her clit just right and, if she just rocks her hips forward a little bit, glances over at Luz while she's focused on the road, getting them to work like the amazing girlfriend she is, watches her hands steady on the steering wheel, her fingers flexing idly to the beat of whatever stupid song is on the radio, pretends those fingers are inside of her, making her feel so good, making her come so hard—
She's basically a sex-crazed maniac for about a week every month. And right now, her own hand isn't cutting it, so she pulls her pants back up and storms out of the bathroom and into the living room where Luz is lounging on the couch just watching TV and drinking a juice box. Amity stands stricken for a moment as she stares at her girlfriend. There's something so sensual about the way she's lazily sprawled over the couch, her leg hanging over the armrest. Maybe it's just the hormones making her think that, but the rational side of her head wants to laugh because that isn't sexy and she's almost nineteen and she's drinking out of a juice box.
"What are you doing?" Amity huffs impatiently, leaning over the back of the couch and staring longingly at her girlfriend's body. So fit, so sexy, so perfect. She bites her lip thinking to herself, wow, I really scored. I want her to fuck me right now.
Luz doesn't look away from the TV, sips her juice box again before answering. "Nothing."
"Can you… pay attention to me? I'm so…" she sighs and her heart races when Luz finally looks up at her, amusement in her eyes. Why is that the thing that makes her want to jump her bones, the silent promise in her eye?
"Not everything is about you," she says lovingly, raising her eyebrows like a challenge. Damn, Amity knew she was going to say that. She likes it though. Amity pushes down a little giggle when Luz gets up from the couch and she comes around to pull her close, their bodies pressing together deliciously. They kiss deeply for a moment until Luz pulls away to lift Amity up like she's nothing and sits her on top of the couch.
Her heart races, but that's because she's never had sex on the couch before. Something about the thought of it thrills her to the bone. So unsanitary. She wraps her arms around Luz's neck and pulls her closer between her spread legs, relishing the new height difference. "Fuck me," she whispers quietly in her ear. Luz giggles and rests a firm hand on her thigh.
"You know I can't do that," she says, condescending sympathy twisting guilty arousal through Amity's whole body. "You need to be patient. Control yourself, Blight."
"Shut up," Amity retorts, frustration teasing her patience. She wants whatever Luz will give her, even if it's just her fingers through the sanitary pad. She doesn't exactly know how to ask for it, though. Breathing steadily, she shakily grabs Luz's wrist and shoves it down between her legs. Thankfully, she gets the hint and starts to gently put pressure over her clit through her pants. It's not much, but it's all Amity needs to get going.
Immediately, her breathing picks up and she slowly starts to roll her hips into the soft, relieving touch from her cute girlfriend. She feels so loved and cared for, Luz giving her exactly what she wants, so dutiful and diligent like the way that she is. It's so amazingly hot that she gets lost in her bad thoughts for a little while, feeling annoyed when she slows down and doesn't press as hard anymore.
"You're not leaving until I come," Amity sternly tells her and shifts forward a bit to allow her hand better access. Luz rolls her eyes but sweetly leans up to kiss her cheek— which, any other time would be accepted with open arms. But the fact that it wasn't on her lips and that she isn't being fucked is excruciating. And she is upset. "Stop teasing me!" She screams.
"Stop being such a bitch about it," Luz retorts smartly and then as punishment, (yay) she thankfully starts to deep massage her again through that damned pad. Fucking period. She wants to have sex, dammit. Luckily it's relatively thin and even if it's not as devastating as skin to skin contact would be, it gets the job done well enough for Amity. "Is this what you want?" She asks harshly, kissing up her neck.
"Yeah, just like that. If you stop, I'll fucking kill you," she pants, letting herself be overtaken by the thrill of this, hanging on so tight to her girlfriend's shoulder and tipping her chin up for more kisses, light like butterflies on her skin. Part of this is mental, and even if she can feel Luz's fingers playfully pressing her here and there, it's not nearly enough to get her off. So she uses her thoughts, memories of other nights they've had and the feeling of her warm mouth, the feeling of her body against hers and the thought of who she is. Just the thought of their entire relationship and the way that it's so wrong makes her feel crazy, and the way that they still do it despite everything is what tips her over the edge.
Like a match made in hell. They're perfect for each other.
Begrudgingly, Amity gets down from the couch and follows Luz into the kitchen like a lovesick idiot and clings onto her arm as she washes her hands. "You're so mean. You never pay attention to me." She says quietly, pouting like a baby. "I feel used."
"You're so annoying," she groans, roughly shoving her away and laughing when Amity stumbles for her balance. Right away, it's as if she hadn't just had an orgasm two seconds ago and she aches for more, deep inside. The way Luz just pushes her around turns her on so much, like she's just a toy and when Luz gets bored she throws her away.
Determined, Amity throws herself back into her girlfriend's arms and they kiss deeply, her lips soft against hers. She gets so lost in the feeling and the pain that rises up low in her stomach like the start of a bad tummy ache, she knows that her cramps are probably going to be pretty bad today. But she can distract herself all day if need be.
They kiss, and she knows it's not mutual. She feels sort of guilty, doing this for the thrill and for her own selfish wants and not because she's particularly in love with her or anything. She is, and usually she can feel her love for Luz all the time. Like feeling full, it's heavy in her chest and yet so empty as it waits to be reciprocated, knowing full well that it will never happen. But she keeps loving her anyways, heart full of hope and longing, not being reciprocated only makes her want to retaliate more. That's what her love feels like. It's constantly regretful and nagging.
Even if she's already hopeless, chained to Luz forever and has made it up in her mind that she would not give up on her and she would love her no matter what, she still gets frustrated and impatient sometimes. Is it so wrong to use her just a little like Luz does her every day?
They stumble into the room and Luz hastily drops Amity on the bed, her legs hanging over the edge. She scoots herself back to make room for her hot amazing girlfriend to get on top of her but they end up staying just like that, with Luz standing over her.
"When this is done, I want you to fuck me until the sun comes up," she says, only half joking. She would rather not have said that but she can't exactly help herself. She's a completely different person when she's like this. She's always thinking about her girlfriend but something about this time of the month has her desperate beyond comprehension and she couldn't care less about her horny word vomit. It hasn't even been five minutes and already she's feeling stuffy again.
She grabs a fistful of Luz's shirt and pulls her against herself, kissing her girlfriend deeply, just wanting to distract herself from the sharp pain building below her stomach."You're insatiable," Luz mumbles in between kisses, pinning Amity to the bed underneath her.
"I know," she groans, unsatisfied. She yanks Luz closer this time and jerks her hips against her body to get herself feeling something. "Babe. Again."
"Already?" Luz pauses, incredulous. Amity groans again, feeling hot and irritable. She's so impatient that she takes her girlfriend's hand and shoves it down between her legs again. She just laughs and slips under her pants this time which delights Amity beyond belief. She's half hoping she goes into her underwear and takes her out of her misery and just worries about the mess later but— she stops outside of her panties and fingers her over the sanitary pad.
"Yes, babe. Don't stop," she sighs and weakly submits, letting her body go limp under the intense pleasure and weight of her girlfriend on top of her. She fingers her so roughly to make up for the extra barrier between them but it's almost overcompensating so much that it hurts just a little bit. But Amity loves it. She loves this new pleasurable pain that overpowers the miserable one in her uterus.
And even if this is completely unsanitary and disgusting, something about the absurdity of it makes her want it more. She isn't going to let anything get in the way of her having sex with her girlfriend. It doesn't take long for her to come and when she does, it's strong and exhausting even more than the first. Amity lets out a shuddering breath and she pulls Luz closer after she takes her hand out of her pants again. "I want to marry you," she says breathlessly.
"Why, because I can make you come in two seconds?" She asks teasingly and Amity can just feel her stupid grin.
"No. Because I love you. I'll do whatever you want. I'll buy you a ring and propose tomorrow if you like." Amity wraps her arms around her neck and pulls her closer. She wants to be crushed under her. She wants to be trapped and feel her girlfriend against her but she just can't get close enough. "I'll be your wife. I'll cook and clean for you. I'll have your kids. Whatever you want."
Luz laughs and presses a gentle kiss to her neck. She lazily brushes a hand through Amity's hair and sighs. "I don't want kids."
Amity whines, frustrated and feeling like she can't get through to her. "What do you want?"
She's quiet for a moment and they lay there in a peaceful silence, even if Amity's desperacy is getting the best of her right now. "Just… keep loving me."
"Of course, babe," she races to say and she pulls her closer. "Forever and always. You're all I want. You know that." She hears Luz sigh and she gently brushes her lips against her ear.
"Keep needing me."
"I need you, babe." She reaches up to clutch at Luz's hair. Anywhere and anything she can grab. She doesn't feel close enough no matter what she does and the ache in her chest is worsening. "You love to be needed, don't you?" She asks quietly. Luz nods into her neck.
"That's fine," she assures her gently and keeps stroking her hair. "Do you need me?"
"More than anything."
"Good. Then we both have exactly what we want…" Amity sighs, closing her eyes. She feels so achy and tired. She's in pain but at least she's glowing from the exhaustion of orgasming twice in a row to her girlfriend's amazing hand. Goodness, she's in trouble. She loves this girl too much for her own good.
After a while, Luz moves to pull away and stand back up but Amity holds her tight. "You should get cleaned up," she nuzzles her jaw, kissing her again. Her stupid heart eats everything up, she loves the way she feels when Luz is being gentle, her soft voice, her warmth and the ache between her legs that she just can't satiate. She loves her girlfriend so much that it hurts. She wants to be hers forever, no matter what that entails.
"You're right," Amity sighs, the disappointment of not having her pressed against her is deeply upsetting. She forces herself to sit up and once again she finds herself teasingly close to Luz's face. So many feelings well up inside of her at once and she knows she isn't going to get anything done if she gives in. She flushes, helplessly aroused again and at the mercy of Luz and her smug smile. "You aren't helping. Bitch." She bites her lip, desperately waiting for her to do something.
"Fuck you," she says back affectionately. "What do you want me to do?"
"Anything," it comes out like a cry. "Fuck me. I'm so beside myself. I can't think about anything but your hands on me and…" she groans at her girlfriend's growing smile. "I just… I can't think straight." She drops her forehead against hers and closes her eyes.
"Okay," Luz says slowly and brings her hand up to hold Amity's face. It feels so warm and soft on her face that she wants to cry and beg at her knees for more. "So in other words… you're really horny. That's okay. I can help you with that."
"Fuck. Really?" She whispers, tears begging to come out.
"Yeah. And I'll make sure you get exactly what you want. But first, I want you to take a shower."
"Okay babe. Whatever you want." She lets Luz kiss her softly and deeply for a blissful moment before she pulls away again. She rushes to take a shower just like her beautiful girlfriend told her to so she could get back to her as soon as possible. Afterwards, she decided to put in a tampon because there's no way she was going to get anything done with a pad stuck to her all night. Plus, it'd be a lot cleaner.
Inserting it is a shameful little ordeal because anything that comes in contact with her there automatically gets her all worked up, even if it's a bit uncomfortable going in. It reminds her of how complicated her stupid little relationship is and how it hurts more than it feels good but still she focuses on the good and chooses to ignore all of the bad. If only she had a bit of respect for herself, she'd be able to see how jacked up this whole thing really is. But things were good right now. And this was her first relationship. Firsts are always hard to let go of, aren't they?
Just a little longer…
When she comes back into the room, all the lights are off and Luz is laying in the bed typing on her phone. Her heart races with excitement and happiness. It's almost like they're a married, domestic couple who live together and respect each other. The quiet and darkness of the room makes her feel so helpless and turned on.
She rushes to get in bed and cuddle up close to her girlfriend, pressing herself close in all the right ways that she needs. Her clit is rubbing deliciously against her hip and her chest is pressed against her side. She tries to be discreet with her rutting but she can't keep it up for long. She knows that Luz knows exactly what's happening and she's more than fine with it. She goes nice and slow to tease herself and to make it last as long as possible because she's going to be here all night and she wants to make use of her hot girlfriend if she isn't going to do anything herself.
Amity groans when Luz still hasn't put her phone away, still scrolling through some thread while she relentlessly humps her hip. So she reaches across her chest to hang onto her arm and have something to hold onto while she enjoys herself. But she wants Luz to acknowledge that she's so shamelessly using her for her own guilty pleasure to somehow get back at her for last time. "Babe," she whines. "Pay attention to me."
She finally shuts off her phone and sets it blindly on the nightstand. She just lays there for a moment and scrubs at her eyes. She yawns and turns toward Amity, ruining her perfect angle and the waves of pleasure she was riding on. She excuses it for a moment when Luz pulls her into another soft kiss and rests her hand on her hip. It's more than enough to get her all worked up and ready for more. "I want you," she tells her in a blissful state of euphoric arousal, it's almost like an entirely different feeling. She feels so happy to be in her girlfriend's arms and feeling her this close. "I want you, babe. So bad."
"I'm right here," she says gently and she reaches up to hold her face again, cradling the back of her head and pulling her closer to kiss her deeper. Amity pulls away when she feels like she's suffocating and she puts a hand on Luz's chest, panting.
"I don't feel close enough," she looks away, feeling ashamed all of the sudden. Her skin is crawling with arousal and she doesn't know what to do with herself. She wants to be romantic and make out but also wants to be eaten alive in, preferably, the next few seconds. She wouldn't ask Luz to do anything like that while she's on her period but she wishes… ugh. "I love you too much and…—I don't know if you want me the same way I want you."
"How do you want me?"
"All of the ways you can imagine. I want everything and I'm willing and ready to do anything you want… but I don't know if you want to." Luz cuts her off with another kiss and she pulls Amity's lip into her mouth to trace her tongue over it. That makes her maniac.
"Amity… what are you even talking about?" She laughs after a moment. "You must be out of your mind."
"I am, babe." She tilts her head back when Luz kisses down her neck and she shivers when she feels her hand tracing down the front of her body to slip under her pants again.
"Let me help you," she says soothingly like she's a baby or something. It feels condescending and she's embarrassed and obsessed and so, so desperate. "I'm sorry, my love."
"I love you," she whispers softly into her hair, her heart thrilling at the sound of her voice, and all is forgiven. She rarely ever called her that.
And then she completely forgets about it when she feels her fingers go inside of her panties. She feels like an animal, so desperate and focused on grinding against her girlfriend's hand that she temporarily melts out of reality for a moment.
Never has she craved anything more than this, out of all the times they've done it, nothing ever compares to when she aches for it like she needs it to survive. Her jaw drops and she clutches tightly at her hair as she jerkily grinds her hips against fingers tightly circling the top of her clit. "God, babe. Don't you dare stop." She cries out, shivering urgently and thrusting into the touch. She feels her gently tugging at the string of her tampon before moving lower to do more damage to her sanity. Her fingers slip inside as deep as possible before hitting the tampon when she devastatingly pulls back out again. "Fuck," she groans, her stomach dipping like it's the end of the world. "Put them back in right now."
"Bossy," Luz nips at her bottom lip and her hand moves back up to the top to circle her clit again, her middle finger swirling in a methodical and slow motion that makes Amity want to cry. It's not even the best thing she's ever felt, but for some reason it was right now. She longed to have her fingers thrusting quickly inside her, but this was simple and sweet and was already getting the job done. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and with everything inside of her, ruts into it as she comes, just to make it harder and all the more satisfying. She lets out a sob, tears stinging her eyes as she rides it out.
"That was so fucking amazing," she greedily pushes Luz into another deep kiss and their tongues battle while her hand plays around in the softness of her clit spasing out from the intense orgasm she pushed herself into. "Again."
Luz's eyes widen, and she's incredulous even hours later after they'd done everything possible in the book and still, she woke up from her post-sex nap to find Amity rutting her leg again, breathing heavily as she nears probably her fourth orgasm of the night. Woof.
"Let us take you to lunch," Emira had told her over the phone one day, her voice full of concern. Amity felt bad, for having her siblings so worried. That's the only reason she agreed.
It took her forever to pick out the perfect outfit to cover all her bruises just right— and lots of makeup to cover the ones too high on her neck. They picked her up that weekend, when Amity was happiest/saddest, (it's interchangeable) that was when she finally had some free time. That was when she had the best/painful (this was interchangeable as well) sex with her amazing girlfriend.
It was the weekend, she wasn't supposed to be feeling stuffy and miserable at some cafe in the middle of Los Angeles with her two overbearing siblings. She was going to get eaten alive by them. She was practically melting under their glares of disapproval.
She ordered an iced tea just to cool herself off a bit. She ended up choking on the first sip when Emira and Edric both say, "Mittens, we need to talk."
Twin thing. But very inconvenient right now. She doesn't know if she should laugh or die of shame. "About what?" She asks coolly, attempts to sip her drink for the second time.
Ed and Em share a look, and Em slightly nods when he sighs, his eyes falling away awkwardly. He's useless but he's... trying. "Listen, Amity." Em speaks up, and Amity jolts at the sound of her name. She knows it's serious when she is no longer Mittens. "We're just... worried about you, that's all."
"And we wanna help," Ed pipes in.
"Guys," she laughs, nearing her wit's end. "I'm fine."
Em narrows her eyes, thinking for a moment. "You're not fine. Something's going on."
"There's nothing going on."
Em stares evenly at her younger sister for a moment. She pulls out her phone, scrolls for a moment. "Well… have you seen all those articles about, uh… the rumors?" Amity's heart suddenly slams violently in her chest. Rumors? What rumors? "About you and Luz Noceda?"
Amity feels herself go dizzy for a split second. "I…"
Em laughs as she scrolls. "There's some crazy stuff on here. Apparently it's been going on for a while. At least Disney's got your back. From… Twitter."
"It's fine that you're with her, Mittens, and we're happy for you," Edric rushes to say, ever the peacekeeper. But somehow, that makes it worse— that they're happy for her. Because it isn't happy and it isn't good. It's bad, and scary and miserable and Amity loves it too much for her own good— "But I saw some pretty… bad stuff."
"So you're just going to believe what the internet has to say about my relationship?" She sneers angrily. "Why don't you ask me, who is in the relationship?"
Ed and Em watch her for a moment. "That's what we're trying to do, Mits." Em taps something quickly on her phone and holds it over the table for Amity to see. Dread fills in her heart at what it could possibly be, and she swallows down her fear before looking down. What greets her is some kind of far fetched headline with a zoomed in picture of her neck. There's a slightly dark blink-and-you-miss-it spot there. Amity Blight domestic violence or abuse?
She blinks, unbelieving. For some reason, she feels angry at those speculations. That's no one's business and they have no right at all to comment on it.
"This wouldn't happen to be something along the lines of what's going on, is it?" Em asks softly. No. No, no, no, no.
"We can help— if it is—,"
"Can it, Ed. I've got this," Em cuts him off and he sighs. " Please, just talk to us, Amity. Please. We just want to help you. I've been worried sick ever since you told me…"
Amity snaps, completely engulfed. "Are you two serious? You wanted me to come here—for what? Just to interrogate me?" She suddenly pushes her chair back and stands up.
"Hold on now a minute, Mittens," Ed also stands up to block her from storming away. Amity groans. She's tired of them bulldozing in on her life. This is none of their business. "We just wanna talk."
"Well damn, why in a cafe? Why couldn't we talk about this at home?" She struggles against her older brother's strong arms holding her back.
Em slowly nods her head, incredulous. She stands up and puts a hand on her shoulder. "We can go home if you want to, Mittens. But you're not leaving until you tell us what's going on with you. This has gone on long enough."
"What—,"
Suddenly, Ed places a few dollars onto the table. "You're coming with us for now."
"Who do you two think you are?" Amity finally is able to yank herself away. She's always getting grabbed and pushed and pulled. She's tired of that. "I'm an adult!"
"You're making a scene," Em sighs. "Let's go."
"I'm not coming with you." She stands, her arms crossed. It's an empty threat because she's not got a car and she's practically stranded without them, but the intention is sincere and burning hot. Em rolls her eyes and grabs her hand, pulling her along with a firm grip. Ed stays behind to guide her out of the restaurant.
She sits silently in the back of the car as her older siblings cart her away, and she's stuck.
Somehow, she appreciates it.
They're worried about her, that's all. And Amity owed them the truth. She was going to tell them when they got home. She was tired of holding it in, crying to herself about it. She loves Edric and Emira so much.
When they get into Ed and Em's shared condo, Amity immediately lays down on the couch and curls up in a ball. "Do you want some tea, baby sis?" Em calls from the kitchen.
"Yes, please," she answers sulkily. Ed comes and silently sits down next to her. After a while, Em finally joins them, carefully setting down two teacups on the coffee table in front of them. She sits down close to Amity and pats her lap.
She's so embarrassed. But all she wants is to be close to her siblings and to tell them the truth. She needs to get this off of her. So she gets up to lay her head in her sister's lap, and Ed scoots closer for her to rest her legs in his lap. She closes her eyes when she feels Em gently stroking her hair.
"Whenever you're ready, Mittens."
Amity grimaced, ashamed. Fuck. This is weird and bad. She doesn't know what to say. She wishes things were good. They're fine. As long as she kept Luz happy, things were okay. She wanted to make it work, like carrying dead weight on her back. Something sadistic inside her liked trying to change a terrible person who just wouldn't change. She liked the burns after getting too close to the fire. Liked licking the wounds and throwing herself back in just to get hurt again.
She'd come to this conclusion so many times. She doesn't want to stop, at all. No matter how much it hurts and no matter how many times she's cried, it feels so good.
And that's got to be worth something, right?
"It is Luz…" she starts off pensively. She feels rather than sees the look that her two siblings exchange. "And it might actually be domestic abuse. I dunno."
"You say it so casually," she hears Ed say.
"It's casual for me. It's been so long. I can't tell what's wrong or what's right anymore." She laughs a bit, maniacally.
"And I'm going to get her arrested."
" No." Amity pushes herself to sit up and she glares sternly at her brother. "You're going to stay out of this, because it's my business." She turns to Em and raises her eyebrows. "That goes for you too."
"Hey," Em chuckles stiffly, raising her hands up defeatedly. "We just want to help."
Amity looks away, sighing. "I know." She leans to the side to rest her head on her brother's chest, feeling warm and safe when he wraps his arm around her back.
Em scoots closer and hugs Amity from behind. She's safe. She's here. She's real. Everything's fine.
"I love you guys."
"We love you too, Mittens." Ed sighs. "Please let us help you."
"Thanks, but… there's no way that you can help."
"Yes we can. You can stay here until you figure out what to do next, and we'll make sure she leaves you alone." Em says.
A little shock of anger jolts through Amity. She's slightly offended considering the circumstances. And besides, she can't just get rid of her. Luz is her whole life. She needs her. "It's not that easy," she sighs, biting her lip. "I love her."
The silence that follows is mortifying.
"Okay," Amity hesitates, trying to think of a way to get them to understand, even if she knows it's futile. "Try to put yourselves in my position… she's my first love."
"Which are always the worst," she hears Ed mumble— she wants to agree but it wouldn't help her case much.
"She's all I know. We've been together for about three years now and I haven't had anything but her." She pauses for a moment. "I'm so stuck on her…and I don't think I can let her go unless she's the one to leave first."
"Mittens… she isn't going to leave if you keep letting her take advantage of you." Em says, and she's right.
"I know. And I don't want her to have that last laugh on me. But I think she already has…"
"It's not too late. You can still leave."
"It is too late," she stiffens with the realization. "It was from the very beginning…"
She pulls herself off of Ed, feeling stuffy and miserable and bad, her eyes wide.
She knows it's useless, and that there's nothing she can do. But she can still try.
"Let's breakup." Amity hesitates. They're sitting in the parking lot in front of Amity's filming location.
"For how long?"
She bites her lip, ashamed by how right she is. "A month?"
"Sure," Luz shrugs. She drops her hands in her lap, sitting back in her seat, sighing. "So... what is it this time?"
"There's a lot of rumors about us."
"So?"
She eyes her. "...I'm not comfortable with something so personal being public, Luz. I don't want the entire world to know who I'm in a relationship with."
Luz laughs, turning to glare incredulously at Amity for a moment. "You're kidding, right?"
"...No?" She looks away, her face burning with shame and her eyes stinging with tears. She's tired of Luz laughing at her. She's tired of not being taken seriously. This is her whole life, and it's slowly becoming a snow storm of uncontrollable feelings. She can't control what people know about her personal life being in the public eye the way that she is.
"You're... there's literally nothing you can do about it." She raises an eyebrow. "You do know that, right?"
"I know." Amity huffs. "But why are you acting like this is just my problem? You're in this relationship too."
"I'd rather not worry about things that are out of my control," she gives her a pointed look. "I mean... come on. What do you want me to do?"
"At least act like you care," she mumbles as she's unbuckling her seatbelt, pulls her sweater over her shoulders.
"What? Do you want me to cry with you about it next time you accidentally scroll past another Buzzfeed article?" She grins bitterly, a daring fire in her eyes. Amity hates it, how everything is just a game to her.
She sighs and pushes the door open to get out of the car. "I'll see you later."
"Great. So are we broken up? Cause I was gonna say see you tonight,"
"Don't." She says, trying to bite her tongue. She slams the door and glares at her girlfriend through the window. "Don't come near me."
Luz smiles, playfully resting her head on her hand. "'Kay." Is all she says, and the fact that she doesn't say anything else hurts more than her dismissal. "I'll just wait for you to call me at two in the morning to tell me how sorry you are and that you wanna get back together."
Be the bigger person. Instead of saying something she might regret later, she holds her head high and turns around to head inside. She turns back once she's inside to check if Luz is still there. She's not.
Amity doesn't call Luz. And Luz doesn't call Amity. She's not mad, just tired. Annoyed. She's so worn out from being with her, so she uses this time apart to take care of herself a bit. She takes it easy, gets her body back to where it needs to be. She takes extra care to heal most of her bruises, actually thinks about herself for once.
She gets on a steady, healthy routine, and whenever she wants to think about Luz, she denies it and she keeps going. Because if she does, she'll cave in sooner than she wanted to.
She never wants to actually break up with her. She can't. It's not actually possible for her to be without Luz for too long, and if she did then it'd kill her. It's just nice to have a break, to get herself back together again.
She gets on a healthy sleep schedule, wakes up bright and early to drive herself to work. One thing she is glad for is the opportunity to improve her driving skills, even if it's not much.
She's happy.
It's been just about a month when Amity is relaxing at home, listening to music while she tries to cook something healthy for herself.
And then she hears a knock on her door. She panics a bit since it's so late at night. What if it's a murderer? What if it's a solicitor? She doesn't have the mental capacity to actually speak to anyone right now. She just wanted to listen to Mitski and chop up some vegetables.
Sighing when there's another knock, she quickly unties her apron and tosses it on the counter, tapping her phone to pause her music. She rushes to the door and pulls it open after straightening up her hair a bit. And the girl standing there is worse than anyone else she could have imagined.
"Hey," Luz laughs awkwardly. "I'm sorry. Can we make up?"
Amity falls silent, her stomach dipped and her heart ached to be close to her. She blinks, clutching tighter on the doorknob.
"You missed me," she points out with a very smug grin. She pulls Amity into a hug and she immediately melts into her girlfriend's strong, warm embrace. Why did she ever want to leave this? It's amazing. She... she loves her so much. "Can I come in?"
"Um," she swallows, nervous to answer. She knows what's going to happen if she lets her in. She'd missed her, but she wasn't quite ready to be a useless sex object again. She pulls out of the hug and she meets her girlfriend's eyes. So beautiful, so perfect. Luz pulls her face toward hers to kiss her deeply, and Amity moans, feeling light on her feet. Luz uses that and drives her back to let herself into the apartment.
"Thanks," Luz abruptly pulls away, pushing past her to head into the living room. Amity stands stricken for a moment, idly sucking on her tingling lip. She shakes her head to try and gain her composure, her head rushing with confusion and regret and anger. She closes the door, locking it and sealing her fate. She comes back into the kitchen and doesn't see Luz is the living room. She must've gone to the bathroom.
Distracted, Amity tries to go back to cooking. She doesn't have much else done by the time Luz comes back.
"Hey there," she says smoothly, leaning on the counter and watching Amity with a grin on her face. She tries to ignore it because she knows what that face does to her. "What're you making?"
"I was trying to make dinner... I was thinking we could just spend some time together, without having sex." She glances carefully up at her and sees Luz's little pout. "Don't expect it to be amazing though," she laughs to lighten the mood.
"I'm sure it'll be good." She says, distracted. After a moment of idly watching Amity chop up some vegetables, she goes to lay down on the couch, turning on the TV. Except that she doesn't watch it, she's laying there scrolling through her phone while the TV watches her instead. Amity can't help the frustration that bubbles up inside her. She wishes she cared a little bit. She wishes she said something. Anything.
Instead, she focuses on precision with cutting carrots to get her mind off it. There's no point in worrying over futile things. Luz isn't worth the stress. She can't let the little things bother her so much anymore. Still, it chips away at her sanity and she can't help but be confused. A little. "Luz?" She calls sweetly, trying to keep her tone even.
"Hm?"
"... Why don't you get over here and help me?"
Luz pauses, looking away. "Sure," she sighs and gets up from the couch, coming behind the counter. Amity doesn't fail to notice how extra touchy feely she's being, deliberately brushing against her and resting a hand on her. She knows what she's trying to do and it isn't— she'll try not to let it work. "What do you want me to do?"
"You could cut these while I make the rice," she suggests encouragingly and pushes the cutting board in front of Luz. She glares confusedly down at the chopped carrots and then hesitantly takes the knife. "Just cut them thin like this," she takes the knife from her to show her a few example cuts. Luz giggles and presses a kiss to her cheek, gently pulling her close. For a split second, she gets distracted.
And even if she was adamant about standing her ground, it was going to be a little hard when Luz was being so damn cute. She knows that Amity is bursting at the seam and she knows she shouldn't be pushing it—so her kisses are hesitant and slow up her neck and then especially apprehensive when she softly kisses her lips. Amity moans begrudgingly and achingly kisses her back. She's been longing for her kiss and touch for so long and she feels so great doing it. It's a grueling effort to pull herself away and being so close but not kissing makes her stressed beyond comprehension.
She tugs herself out of Luz's firm grip and stumbles over to the stove, her mind rushing with shame and regret. "I'll cut the carrots but… I've never done anything like this before," she says playfully. Amity takes a deep breath to steel herself before answering.
"That's okay. I'm not really good at cooking either. I'm just following an easy recipe for now." She absent mindedly starts to boil the water, turning the knob on the stove. She goes through the motions, staring off into space and the sound of Luz cutting behind her fills the kitchen for a short, peaceful moment.
"All finished," Luz says and then immediately comes to stand by the stove with Amity. She leans in to kiss her ear and whispers, " Are you proud of me?"
"Don't distract me," she ducks away. She gasps when she feels Luz wrap her arms around her from the back and she rests her chin on her shoulder. "I'm trying to focus Luz, please," she says quietly, desperately trying to keep herself together.
"I'm not doing anything," Luz insists stubbornly and kisses her neck, her hands resting firmly on her hips. Amity wants to push her away but she just can't bring herself to do it. Something in her likes the frustration and the ache. She likes how her girlfriend's hands are slowly tracing up the sides of her body as she sweetly kisses her shoulder. She likes the shameful wetness building between her legs at the thought of what could happen if she gave in.
"Stop…"
"Don't act like you don't like this," she says hotly close to her ear, her hands coming up to rest on her chest. Amity knows she isn't going to get out of this when she swirls her finger over her nipple, feeling it teasingly through her shirt and bra. She sighs in despair and quickly turns the knob to turn the stove off, her hands clutching desperately for the counter. "You like it when I distract you."
And, Amity doesn't bring herself to say anything. Because she kind of wants it to happen, no matter how much she'll regret it later. "I like it when you try to do things for me." She presses her hips closer, making Amity blissfully aware that they're so incredibly close. "You're being such a wife. What if I asked you to marry me right now? I know what you'd say."
Amity's heart thrills at the idea of it, being her wife. She would gladly be that for her. She would do anything she wanted. "What would you say babe?" She feels her grin against her neck, hears her quiet laugh as she kisses up her jaw again.
"Yes," she chokes out, moaning.
"Mmm, I know. You would be my pretty little wife. So cute," she purrs, and sends Amity for a ride when she starts to casually rut herself against her back, a sensual pressure building inside her at the feeling of Luz gently rocking her hips. "This remind you of anything?" she nips at her ear, pinching it painfully between her teeth. "What are you thinking about?"
"You're so… you're such a tease," she gasps. "I hate you."
"You love me. Now tell me what this reminds you of… the way I'm bumping into you like this. It's familiar, yeah?"
"Reminds me of the way you fuck me. How you make me feel so good and stretched out," she arches back and jerks herself hips into the hand that Luz has placed deliberately between her legs. "Fuck. Why can't you let me do anything?"
"This is all you want to do."
"Fuck you," she pants. "But you're right. I haven't been able to get anything done because of you."
"Because you couldn't stop thinking about me?"
"Yes…" she hesitantly reaches down to hold her hand.
"How were you thinking about me?"
"Like this."
"Like how, Blight?" Luz demands, slipping under her pants again and slowly pushing lower to brush against the wetness on her underwear. But she frustratingly ignores it and rests her hand on her inner thigh, deliberately flexing her index finger to agonizingly dig into her folds through the fabric. "Like this?"
"Yeah, like that." She whispers, and her resolve melts away with her sanity. Each slow and deliberate flex of her finger biting away at her will to not let this happen. This was not how tonight was supposed to go. She was not going to let Luz take advantage of her like this. She can't. And she will pull away, right after this. But then Luz hooks a finger on her underwear and pulls it down to gently circle the top of her clit before slowly slipping down and dipping deep inside of her folds, crooking the tip of her finger to dig into just the right spot at the bottom of her. "Just like that."
"You're such a naughty little girl. You shouldn't be thinking about these things." She pulls out to insert two fingers and she slowly pushes until she's deep inside again. For a moment, she stays completely still besides twitching them a bit— which drives Amity wild. She feels so bad again, being so easily distracted. Doing this in the kitchen like a couple of delinquents. She whines, feeling herself losing control, losing to her. "Especially not about your co-worker. How inappropriate. You're so dirty minded."
"I can't help it. You always give me bad thoughts," she huffs when she starts to slowly fuck her fingers in and out of her, gradually speeding up the pace. Amity yelps and pants for air. She can't believe this is happening. So stupid. But it's so sexy and hot she never wants to stop. It helps when Luz kisses her neck softly and nibbles at her earlobe, licking gently. " —So good . Please don't stop."
"You're such a pervert. I bet you fantasize about this all the time. You wish I would fuck you at work in the break room don't you? You're always thinking about getting fucked by your co-worker," she teases quietly next to her ear. All that Amity can manage is a frenzied whimper, jerking into her girlfriend's amazing fingers and riding each wave of pleasure rolling through her clit. Each thrust inside is so sweet and miserable and degrading, and she wants all of it. It's so, so delicious and she can't breathe and it's so great. She doesn't want anything but this.
"Yes, I'm a disgusting pervert. Punish me for it," she says, her voice frisky as she loses her mind. She's in a state of pure bliss and her thoughts briefly turn white when the good feelings flood her entire body. She comes hard around her two fingers, and just like that she's automatically hooked again and wants to fall on her knees in front of Luz and beg her for more. This was a bad idea, letting her in. She just wanted to make dinner and watch a movie and cuddle with her girlfriend. But she knows it's partly her fault because what did she really expect to happen?
"That was hot," Luz laughs and devastatingly pulls her hand out of her pants. She holds her two fingers up to let Amity see the glossy sheen covering them, driving home her guilt. She moves to the sink and washes her hands. "I could get in some serious trouble if the higher ups found out I did that." She winks at the flustered and disoriented Amity, her face flushing. Goodness, she's such a puddle for her. "Should we keep cooking?"
"N—no. Forget that. Can…" she bites her lip. "Can we go to the bedroom?"
Amity is scared.
Luz watches her with a fond little grin on her face as she pulls herself out of her top. Out of all the times they've done this, times they've seen each other's bodies, it makes her a bit nervous to see her looking at her like this. It's a gaze full of something like longing and need and— it's different somehow. Amity wants to tell her that she feels it too, everytime they touch.
"Come here babe," she says gently, watching her girlfriend with a voidless pit in her heart. No matter how much she tries, she can't seem to get through to her. No matter how much she loves her, she can't change her. Luz walks over to her slowly, and when they finally press together, her body screams with desire. She wants her girlfriend so badly that she doesn't even know how to process it. And her hands are stuffed in her pockets, not resting on her body. She hates that.
But they're so close. And Amity wants nothing more than to be hers, even if that meant pain. It was worth the pleasure and the long nights of being so helplessly in love with this girl that she's tied up with. This isn't her one night stand or a hookup. This girl is her life and she wants her. She leans in and brushes her lips against hers, teasing herself with the temptation of her soft kiss that she longed for. She stays close but bites her lip, tilting her head slightly as she brings a hand up to gently hold her girlfriend's face. "Touch me babe," she whispers, pushing their bodies closer.
For a moment, she clenches on nothing, just the thought of her. She feels her hand rest on her hip, the bare skin just above her pants and she presses a deep kiss to Amity's lips, her other hand coming to rest satisfyingly on the other side.
This is what she loves, the burning hot passion of her tongue against hers, the heat of her body. She delights under the finger tracing the lace of her bra and toward the front, up the side of her neck and eventually her hand lovingly cupping her face. She feels so overwhelmed by her that she doesn't know what to do. She has no choice but to surrender herself to this girl and let her take control.
She's okay with that. She thinks maybe, if this was the rest of her life then she'd be fine. She wants to be with her girlfriend always. This is what she lives for, these nights with her. She doesn't want anything else in her whole life. Luz slightly pulls away and brushes their noses together affectionately. "Take your clothes off, babe." She whispers.
"Okay," she says, eager to please her girlfriend. She kind of wanted Luz to take her underwear off because it's hot and cute when she does it, so with that in mind she only removes her pants. She takes her time and Luz moves to the bedside table to dig through her bag. Amity swallows nervously, watching as she pulls out a small candle and sets it down before removing the lid. That was what she was going to be tortured with tonight. She'd never be able to look at candles the same way after this.
Now in just her bra and panties, she hesitantly gets up from the bed and quietly comes up behind her cute girlfriend.
She wraps her arms around her waist and buries her face into her navy green jacket that she always looks so pretty in. She nuzzles against it, taking in her girlfriend's smell and her softness. She loves her so much. But no matter how excited she was, she couldn't deny how nervous she felt about this whole thing. Luz had been wanting to do the candle thing for a while now. She felt like their relationship was especially struggling these days and she thought maybe if she did this then it'd make Luz happy. She'd do anything for her.
She watches in anxious excitement as Luz lights the candle, a small flame dancing on the tip of the wick. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to imagine what it might feel like. Was it going to hurt as bad as she's anticipating? Would it leave marks on her body? Would she have to see a doctor about it later? She gently kisses the back of her neck and sighs, watching the fire melt the wax. "Everything okay?" Luz asks quietly.
Amity nods behind her. "I'm just a little nervous..." she whispers and hugs her girlfriend tighter. "But… I want to do this. No matter what."
"You're such a good girl," she purrs, turning around and pulling her close. Amity's heart thrills at the sweet little nothing and she moans, melting into the tender kiss Luz gives her. Much too soon, Luz leaves her lips to kiss hotly down her neck and Amity slips a lazy hand through her hair to clutch on for dear life. "So beautiful."
"I just want to please you…" Amity succumbs under the pressure of her girlfriend and playfully tumbles back onto the bed as Luz is still kissing her. She wraps her legs around her waist to pull her down on top of her so that she can grind herself against her body while they make out. "I want you." She murmurs distractedly, starting slowly with rutting her hips shamelessly on her girlfriend, getting her clit nice and wet for her.
"You're so cute," she laughs quietly, pulling away. "Control yourself."
"I will, babe. Just for you."
"Good girl." She purrs, dragging a finger down from her neck, gently over her bra. "Didn't I tell you to take your clothes off?"
Amity's heart leaps to her throat with anxiety. "I wanted you to do it, babe." She stammers. "I like it when you undress me."
Luz leans in to kiss her again, smiling. "Okay then." Teasingly, she traces her finger down her girlfriend's creamy skin, over her flat stomach. She shamelessly fingers her clit through the damp fabric of her panties before slipping back up to pull them slowly down. "You like it when I do this?"
"With everything I am," she hums, rocking herself into her girlfriend's gentle touch. "I love you so much."
"And I love you." She says sweetly, ever so slowly inching her panties lower, and then reaching to the other side to pull them down. It's excruciating and Amity is impatient, desperately waiting for her girlfriend to do something. She feels her panties peeling away from her sticky arousal when Luz finally gets them down to her thighs, and she pulls away with a soft kiss on Amity's jaw. "Now get comfy, okay?"
Amity swallows nervously but nods. Without a word, she moves herself to the middle of the bed and sits up as she watches her girlfriend pull a few other things out of her bag. "I love you," she tells her again as she waits. Luz laughs and finally joins her on the bed with a bottle of baby oil in her hand. "W—what's that for?" She asks shakily as her girlfriend sits on her knees behind her.
Luz presses a soft kiss on her neck, her voice low and soft. It's enough to melt Amity like the wax on a candle. "Don't ask questions."
Amity shivers. "Why not?"
The next thing she feels is a quick shoot of sharp pain when Luz nips at her ear. "Hey. What did I say?"
"Okay, babe. No questions…" she sighs, biting her lip.
"Good girl," she says again, and it's like a reward to her ears. She feels her girlfriend's hand rest on her shoulder before she slips down to unclip her bra. It falls off seamlessly and Amity tosses it away, her heart racing and her clit aching at the thought of being so exposed in front of her girlfriend like this. The next thing she hears is the bottle of baby oil clicking open and Luz squirting some on her hands. She rubs it in and finally rests her hands on Amity again, feeling her head resting on her shoulder.
She slowly rubs it in, starting on her midriff in slow circles. Amity whimpers. "You're giving me a massage?"
Luz sighs. "I have to put this on so I don't actually burn your skin."
"Ah, okay." She smiles, excited again. She leans back against her girlfriend's firm body, hoping to feel her hand drift lower to touch her clit. Somehow, it's more exciting than anything, feeling her glide her hands close to where she longs to be touched and massaged, but not quite there. It fills her stomach with butterflies and she feels slightly dizzy as Luz slowly kisses her neck. "I like it, babe. This feels good."
"I'm glad." She laughs quietly as she's rubbing the excess oil on her collarbone area, and then she sits up to move to her shoulders. Amity waits in suspense as she gets more oil, then starts to rub her back starting from the top of her shoulders and then down to her sides.
She takes a sudden detour to the front again and she gently brushes over her right nipple. Amity gasps quietly as she teasingly pinches it, cupping her breast in her hand. "Yes," she starts to pant, her clit immediately pulsing at the feeling of it. She moans, her heart racing when she feels her other hand come around on the left side to slip down between her legs.
"So sensitive," Luz giggles, carefully running her index finger between her slick folds before swirling tight circles over her clit when she reaches the top again. Amity drops her head back and rolls her hips desperately into her girlfriend's hand, moaning incredulously. She feels like she's going insane, climbing closer and closer to the perfect orgasm. Luz continues to tease her nipple while she fingers her crazy little girlfriend, and she knows exactly how close she is.
"Mmm, baby," Amity cries out. "I'm about to come. You're so amazing. I love you." She jerks her hips against Luz's hand when she presses harder, circles her clit faster. She squeezes her breast in her hand, warm and soft, and it's so, so perfect. She whimpers urgently and she can feel how close she is. It's crazy how amazing it feels, and for a moment, nothing matters. Not her terrible girlfriend, not her job, not even herself. Just her hand doing lovely things to her clit, her other hand—
And then Luz stops. Amity's heart shatters, being seconds away from coming. She takes a deep breath, feeling tears well up in her eyes. "If you're good tonight, I'll let you finish," Luz says simply, her voice light and easy. "No questions, no complaining and no whining. Got that?"
"Yes, my love," she agrees shakily.
"Good girl," she rewards again. "Now lay on your stomach." She instructs her as she gets out of bed to stand in front of the nightstand. Amity nods and with a slight tremble, she takes a pillow to hug as she lays on her stomach. That's in case the pain gets to be too much, she'll have something to help her cope. The air is thick and teasing while she waits.
Luz takes one of the light colored candles from the nightstand. She wants to run away and hide. She doesn't want to be burned. Anxiety twists in her stomach and she squeals nervously, burying her face in the pillow. "Nervous?" Luz side eyes her with a little smile tugging at her lips. Amity hurriedly lifts her head again, her eyes falling contemplatively to the bedsheets.
"Mhm."
Luz reaches over to gently run her fingers through Amity's hair, the other hand resting idly around the candle. She watches her nervous girlfriend with a pensive look on her face for a moment. "I'll be extra careful, okay?"
Amity stays quiet, nodding hesitantly. "I've got everything covered just in case. I did a lot of research on this."
"You're always looking for ways to torture me," she laughs bitterly. Luz wrinkles her nose and grins down at her.
Eventually, Luz whispers, "Ready?"
"Y—yes," she blinks, and she's definitely not ready. She panics as her warm girlfriend gets back in bed to get on top of her, straddling her waist. She feels so helpless and trapped underneath her. There's no going back. This was it. She feels Luz's warm hand flat on her back and she gently strokes up to her neck.
"Just relax. You'll be fine." She carefully brushes her fingers through the hair on the nape of her neck, fingers crooking to gently scritch her scalp. "Just trust me."
"I trust you, babe." She says, but she's torn even still. She believes herself right now, feeling her sweet, soft girlfriend on top of her. She is so in love with her. She's going to marry her. She loves being hers.
"Good."
She tilts the candle just a bit to test it on her hand, because she'd hate to burn her little girlfriend too much. The wax drips ever so slowly, and has even Luz herself in suspense. It's very hot. Luz sucks in a deep breath, shocked by the pain. She quickly climbs off of Amity to swish her hand around in the bucket of water on the ground.
"What's wrong?" Amity eyes her suspiciously.
"Nothing,"
"Was it too hot?"
"... Maybe." She pouts. "I think it burned for too long. "
Oh boy. Geez, Amity was in for it. She was going to feel so much pain tonight. Maybe it'd all be worth something in the end. She just has to get there to find out.
Luz starts over with a different candle and only burns it for about five minutes before putting out the flame and trying again. She's back on top of Amity again, and she stalls just for sweet anticipation. "Okay, I'll start slow so you can get used to the feeling. It'll be uncomfortable for a bit."
Amity shivers, put off by Luz's calm tone of voice. This was absurd. Sex was supposed to be enjoyable and feel good, not anxiety inducing and painful. Did this even classify as foreplay? This was— Amity yelps, feeling three drops of hot wax on her skin. As soon as it made contact, it only burned for a second before cooling to a comfortable warmth and then dripping down her side.
"How was that?"
Amity is quiet for a moment, frozen with shock. "It hurts."
"Does it hurt really bad?"
"... No."
Luz sighs, leaning down to whisper close to her stupid girlfriend's ear. "The whole point is for it to hurt a little, Amity."
"I… I don't like it." She whines. "Can we stop?"
"No, I think we'll finish up." She hums thoughtfully. "Ready for it again?"
"Yes…"
This time when she pours, she holds it a bit higher so that the wax isn't burning by the time it hits her girlfriend's delicate, creamy skin. But to compensate, she pours longer. Maybe that defeats the whole purpose, but she'd rather hear Amity's little noise instead of nothing. It falls on her skin, immediately trailing down her side and back to harden. "Was it alright?"
"That burned more than the first time." She says irritably, her voice shaky.
"Ah, okay. I'll pour higher. Keep telling me how it feels, alright?"
"...'kay."
This time she pours at the same height, just in little drip drip drips instead of a continuous pour— which was admittedly very evil of her. She does it higher up on her shoulder so that when it drips down, it trails all the way down to Amity's cute little nipple. It wouldn't possibly still be burning then, but what if it was? Luz gets a bad idea.
You're not normally supposed to pour it near the sensitive parts…. but her Amity was a deliciously ignorant exception to that. She didn't have to know.
"Was that too hot?" She asks sweetly.
"It's alright," she says, her voice quiet and shaky. Luz feels her heart pinch at the sight of her little girlfriend. She affectionately strokes her finger along a trail of dried, hardened wax over her shoulder and Amity moans quietly, burying her face into her pillow.
"You're doing so well, aren't you?" She smiles, brushing her pretty mint green hair out of her face. She leans in to whisper in her ear, "I'm so proud of you, mi amor," she pulls away a bit and sees her girlfriend cracking a pretty little smile. Perfect. She's so beautiful. "... Wanna flip onto your back for me?"
"Anything for you," she mutters obediently. Luz moves off of her to allow her to move, and when she's on her back, perfectly naked and exposed, she straddles her waist again. Amity bites her lip hesitantly before sitting up slightly and pulling Luz in from the back of her neck for a passionate kiss. It briefly catches her off guard and she wraps her arm around her back, holding the candle far away from her skin. "I need to feel loved." She says quietly, holding Luz's face.
"You are very loved, hermosa," she distractedly assures her, using her free hand to gently trace circles on her back. She kisses her small girlfriend deeply, feeling her satisfied moan as she tries to kiss back.
"I don't feel like it," Amity sighs, sadness in her eyes. "It feels like you just want to hurt me."
"... I'm sorry. I do like hurting you."
"Why?"
"I'm jealous, of you," is what she tells her, but she's not exactly sure. That's part of it. But she doesn't want to think about why— it's more fun not knowing the reason she has this sadistic tendency with Amity Blight. This was a fun and hot and safe way for her to explore that, and it wasn't too weird. People did this with their partners— poured hot wax on them just to see them writhing in pain.
That was normal.
Luz swallows nervously, kissing Amity's neck softly. Without warning, she holds the candle over her shoulder and pours a little drop close to her neck. Immediately, she hisses, recoiling in shock. She glares at Luz, her eyes watering. She watches amusedly as it leaks down the front of her shoulder and between her breasts. "What are you jealous for?"
Luz doesn't know. Ignoring her, she gently pushes Amity back down to lay on her back. "Can you lay flat for me?" She asks lovingly. Amity graciously obeys and does so, watching Luz confusedly, on the verge of tears.
"Can you please talk to me? You don't have to be jealous of me, baby. I want you to be happy." She says, her voice watery.
Luz stares at her incredulously, her shoulders slouching. She takes everything way too seriously. "Forget I said anything," she idly swirls her finger in the wax dripping down her chest. "Can I keep going?"
"...If—if that makes you happy. Go ahead."
Oh man.
Luz leans over Amity for a moment to swap the candles on the nightstand. This one hurt to even hold. It had been burning for a short while until the other one cooled, but now she thinks it might be too hot. She tests it on her hand and is careful to hide her reaction since Amity can see her now. One little drip, and she can feel a pleasant but just slightly too hot sensation on her wrist. It's not nearly as bad as the first time, but she isn't sure about her girlfriend's heat tolerance.
"Ready?"
Amity nods.
"Hands over your head."
Amity does it without wasting a second, holding her hands together and stretching her arms over her head. Before pouring, she makes sure to hold it extra high so it's at least relatively cooled when it hits her. She wants to burn her but not damage her nerve endings. She's not that evil.
She tilts the candle slightly, allowing a small drop to fall down on her girlfriend's chest, and she watches her reaction. It's nothing strong, just a jolt of shock from the initial sensation—which is not good enough for Luz. She needs more. So she follows that up with a longer pour, only somewhat lower. Satisfied, she gets an audible reaction this time.
Amity whimpers softly. "That was too hot."
"My bad," she giggles inwardly and does one extra higher pour just in case.
"Is this turning you on?" She asks through clenched teeth, arching her back in pain as the burning hot wax drips down her side and onto the bed.
"Mhm," Luz hums delightedly, biting her lip. She goes crazy with it, doing a long zigzagging line across her chest and down to her midriff. Amity actually screams and she thrashes wildly. After Luz stops, Amity hisses, squeezes her eyes tight and a few tears stream down her cheeks.
"Why did you do that?" Her eyes fill with tears and she cries. "I'm sorry Luz. I can't do this anymore!"
"Okay, okay. Sorry." She quickly sets the candle down on the nightstand and she grabs the towel to wipe up the still liquidy wax mess all over her body. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Can we please stop?" She squirms, and Luz is a little concerned about her unease.
"Did I burn you?" She moves off to lay down beside her, watching confusedly as Amity squeezes her eyes closed tightly and tries to take deep, slow breaths.
Eventually, she huffs, turning her back to Luz and curling in on herself into a pathetic little Amity ball, so full of bad feelings. She sheds hot, angry tears and they stream down her face quickly, feeling every inch covered in wax of her skin burning and tingling.
Luz sighs loudly. "What's the problem?" She asks condescendingly. But Amity ignores her and curls up tighter, sniffling. "Answer me." She says close to her ear. Amity jolts with unprecedented anger as she feels her girlfriend wrap her arms around her waist and she pulls her close.
"Let go of me!" She growls, trying to wriggle free but she becomes trapped in her steel grip when she wraps her legs around her waist as well. She groans, thrashing and struggling.
"Hey," Luz hugs her closer, so tight that's almost hard to breathe. "Relax. Tell me what's wrong."
"Stop acting like you're so innocent, Luz," she sobs. "You really want me to tell you what's wrong?"
"Yes, please."
"I'm mad because you didn't stop when I told you to. Shocking, isn't it?" She pants, trying desperately to pull away from Luz. "And you really hurt me. I'm just so… tired of you disrespecting my boundaries!"
"I'm sorry." She says quietly. Amity freezes. "I'll… be better about that."
"You always say that!"
Luz holds her tightly with one arm wrapped under her body and across her chest, and she brings her other arm around the front to stick up her pinky finger for Amity to see. She presses a warm kiss on the back of her neck. "I promise."
Amity lets out a shaky breath, eyeing the empty promise carefully. She doesn't know if she can trust her. They'd been through this so many times before, but this was the one time she felt a little bit of assurance. Luz had never promised before.
Carefully, she raises her own hand to hook her finger around hers, but stops abruptly. "Promise?" She bites her lip.
"I promise… with everything I am. Please, give me another chance?"
Amity nods hesitantly and finally hooks their fingers together. Luz sighs, kissing her neck again and she intertwines all of their fingers together to tightly hold her hand. "...I'll never give up on you, babe." Amity says shakily, pulls their hands to her lips to kiss the top of Luz's.
"Thanks." She sounds relieved. "I…love you."
"I love you too. Always."
Luz is quiet for a while before hesitantly asking, "... I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?"
"No. I'm fine. I… I like the pain."
" Ay ay ay. Because you're sick."
"Not any more than you."
"Fair." She laughs quietly and pulls her in closer. "We're sick together."
"...We're perfect for each other." Amity shudders.
When Amity wakes up the next morning, she is not in her girlfriend's arms. For a split second and a half, she panics. Not because she's scared but because she misses her, and that empty yearning ache in her chest is especially strong right now, the way it usually is the morning after. She shifts to sit up in bed and that's when Luz comes back in the room from the kitchen. "Hi," Amity greets her softly and she feels her heart pinch with want. Luz gets back in bed, crawling on top of Amity and knocking her back down.
She comes delightfully between her legs, her soft body pressing her perfectly through her dress. She feels guilty for being turned on this early in the morning and in such a tender moment but nothing's ever made sense with Luz—so she guesses it doesn't matter. There's always a variety of feelings involved when she's with her and she's learned to just accept it all. She holds herself over her with her arms pinning her on either side of her and they just look at each other for a quiet moment.
"Noceda," she looks up at her with a playful glint in her eye, biting down on her lip. She feels satisfied when that grin spreads across her face and she leans down to bury her face in her neck.
"Blight,"
"Good morning my love," she giggles, whispering into her hair and receiving her soft kisses up her neck. This is the reason she stays, the happy cuddles and mornings together with her girlfriend after they'd had a long night. She willingly melts under her, feeling her everywhere and breathing her in.
"Morning," Luz trails up to her jaw and then stops there. Amity moans in disappointment, clutching her shoulder to fill the hole in her heart. " Beautiful…" she whispers.
"What were you doing?" She asks casually, subconsciously biting her lip again when she feels the added pressure of her girlfriend's stomach against her crotch. Everything is so intense due to her lack of underwear… it doesn't help that she's ever so slightly rocking her hips forward and then back again, causing an agonizing type of friction for the both of them.
"I was packing up my bag… they want me down there super early today." She sighs, kissing her again. "But I'll see you later. And tonight, if you want."
"Of course I want to, babe. I want you all the time."
Luz hums, content and comfortable and they rest quietly for a moment like that. "Thanks for last night…"
"You're welcome," she says, gratified. She couldn't imagine that she'd ever be happy about something like that, but if it made Luz feel good then she was glad to do it. Even if her skin still hurt from the burns, it felt good rubbing against her and feeling the ache of it, a reminder of their night together. "You know I would do anything for you." She slips her fingers up the back of her neck and into her hair, takes the affectionate brush of her lips on her chin.
"I know," she says quietly and then, "but… I couldn't help but notice…" her hand slowly slips down from her shoulder to gently hold her breast in her hand. She brushes her thumb over her nipple and it immediately hardens, Amity's helplessly turned on again. It's sensitive and warm through the thin fabric of her dress and each touch sends a shock of pleasure through her. Luz twirls a finger around it, tickling the tip with her fingernail and getting her girlfriend nice and wet between her legs. "No bra?"
"It's more comfortable to sleep without it… you know that." She whispers defiantly, squirming for her hand to tease her other breast.
"But you always put your bra back on."
"It was hot last night." She insists.
Luz is quiet for a moment before she hums, not fully convinced. "Wanna know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think that you left your bra off for more… naughty reasons." She gently squeezes it in her hand. "And I think that you wanted this to happen."
"And what if I did?" She bites her lip and tilts her chin up when Luz kisses up her jaw. "What if I wanted you to touch me like this?"
"You should cover yourself up."
"I don't want to cover up. I want you to see my body and I want you to touch me. I want you to have access to me all the time."
"I always have access to you," she says with a delicious frisk in her voice and she kisses Amity deeply. "If you're not wearing a bra then what else are you not wearing?" She walks her hand down her leg and traces up her thigh, slipping easily under her dress.
"I guess you'd better check." She moans.
Her hand inches up ever so slowly and when she finally reaches her clit, completely uncovered and naked under her dress, she clicks her tongue disapprovingly. "You naughty girl, Amity." she tries to hold back a grin, kissing her neck softly.
"I guess you'll just have to punish me for that." She whispers, feeling her girlfriend's hand lightly circling her entrance with the tips of her fingers. "I'm too bad."
"Legs apart." She demands hotly as she's hiking up Amity's skirt, and she moans to obey, not wasting a second. She carefully opens her legs for her girlfriend, exposing herself more for Luz to do whatever she wants to her body. She starts right away with the good part, pumping her fingers in and out of Amity's clit roughly, not wanting to be late to work.
Amity lets out a weak little noise, deep and carnal from the back of her throat as she enjoys feeling herself getting fingered by her hot girlfriend. She starts to pant and she rolls her hips against each wave of pleasure crashing through her body. She's so lucky. So happy. Life is great. She's fine. And everything's just wonderful. She wants this forever. She's having the time of her life. "Go faster or you might be late," she rasps, yanking Luz closer by her hair.
Luz giggles and bites her neck softly, thrusting inside her girlfriend roughly, enjoying Amity's loud sounds of approval. "Fuck. Just like that, babe," she sighs as she finally tips over the edge. It's such a weak little orgasm, but it does wonders for her. Like magic. Like a fool under a love spell, she cuddles closer to her girlfriend and wants nothing but her, everywhere she goes, anything she feels and everything she sees, she wants it to be Luz. She's so in love with her. "I love you so much, babe. I only want you."
"That's not good…" she chuckles, sounding a bit concerned.
"I know but… I don't care. I want you." She moans again but this time it's for the feeling of their lips brushing together again. The two of them seem to like the delicious delay of a kiss, making it all the more sweeter when they do melt into each other. And Amity knows that she wants everything, the good and the bad. It's every night after sex when they're laying together that she tells herself that she doesn't care. She doesn't have any sense of self anymore. Everything's Luz and she's okay with that now.
"I know babe," she kisses her softly and Amity melts under her intoxicating warmth. "I'm right here. I'm yours."
"You're… mine?" She looks at her with concern in her eyes after she pulls away, her heart racing. What does she mean by that? Is it possible for her to truly love Amity the way she loves her?
Luz looks away, suddenly looking ashamed. Then she nods and sighs anxiously. "I love you. And… I don't know. I didn't want to love you. I don't know what my problem is."
"You can't control the way you feel, babe. But… I know what you're feeling." She hesitantly reaches up to hold her face, brushing her thumb over her cheek. She leans up to sweetly kiss her before laying back down. "For a long time… I wished that you'd love me back. I feel like we're getting nowhere… but at the same time I don't care because I still want you. No matter what."
"I just don't know how to be good enough for you." she hesitates. "I don't think you and I could ever be normal after everything—…"
They kiss deeply again and Amity actually sheds a few tears because she's so confused and her hopes are up but she's been with Luz long enough to know that everything is hopeless. She pulls her girlfriend closer, not feeling close enough. "You're right. I don't think we'll ever be normal… and this is really bad, but I don't care." She laughs, slightly maniac. "I don't care if we're terrible for each other. I don't care if you don't love me. Hurt me as much as you want… but I'm so in love with you that I can't think rationally anymore."
"Amity, what…" she sighs. Speechless, she opts for kissing instead. They kiss deeply again and Amity moans into it, desperately clutching at her hair. "We'll talk about it later, 'kay?"
Amity nods. "And… sex again tonight?" She asks sweetly.
"Of course." Luz laughs, and her heart hurts when her girlfriend pulls away, leaves her.
Everything except the ache in between Amity's legs has cooled down, so even if Luz is tired, her fingers are still working to get her girlfriend off, for the moment at least. It's become unbearable and she's getting quite tired of being so on edge all the time.
At least she has an amazing, hot girlfriend to help her out with it.
When she finally comes to the lazy fingers dipped deep inside of her and she hits an especially sensitive spot that pushes her over the edge, she still isn't feeling satisfied. She still wants more. She showers Luz's face with grateful, desperate kisses and feels empty when she pulls her fingers out. All that Luz can manage is a little kiss on the corner of her mouth before she rolls onto her back and huffs.
Even if Amity shouldn't, she feels guilty for being so selfish sometimes. She's lying in bed with the most selfish person she knows and somehow she feels like the bad guy. Biting her lip, she crosses her arms over her chest to ease the ache in her heart as she stares at her girlfriend with intense longing. She feels guilty for being insatiable and the only thing she can focus on now is the way her fingers felt inside of her. She lusts for them to be back inside and to use Luz for her own guilty wants just for a moment.
But she doesn't ask anymore. It's been hours that they'd been going at it and she knows Luz is tired. They have work tomorrow and it's probably already so late. Amity hesitates when she pulls herself closer to wrap her arms around her girlfriend and she asks, "...Do you want to cuddle?"
In response, Luz gives her a sweet little kiss and sighs. "Can't. We need to get ready for work."
"Already? What time is it?" She asks, shocked and thoroughly pleased by how long they must have gone. Never a dull moment when the two of them are together. Luz blindly gets her phone from the nightstand, turning it on and squinting when the bright screen lights up.
"Two thirty." She blinks.
"Wow…" she remembers Luz getting here around ten and then not wasting any time with getting to the bedroom. Her body feels exhausted and achy, pushed to its very limit and then even more to soothe the pain of wanting. She wants, wants, wants what she can't have. And Luz is here and she's naked and she's in her bed, she has her all to herself but still she doesn't feel close enough.
Her heart aches, watching her get out of bed with her pulse in her throat. She wants her close, not walking away. Not this time. "We'd better get a shower before we fall asleep again."
"Okay," Amity agrees because— whatever she wants. And she's right, if it was already so late and they had an early day then they might as well be ready to go when they wake up. Her girlfriend was so smart and reasonable. Thank goodness she had a clear head to think with even after sex, unlike Amity. She couldn't think about much for the first hour afterwards because her mind is still flooding and rushing from the events of before. It's been so long and still she's not gotten over the thrill of her girlfriend's touch.
She throws her cover off and, briefly wobbling on her feet, trails behind Luz into the bathroom, her arms wrapped around her waist and her face nuzzling against her back. She just can't get enough of her. She kisses her shoulder gently and her eyes hurt when Luz flips on the light. "You're gonna make me trip," she grumbles, but Amity doesn't care one single bit.
"Deal with it," she shoots back, only halfway joking. She hopes it makes Luz teach her a lesson about… obedience or something like that. It didn't matter to her, as long as it involved her hand between her legs. She likes to think she's obedient for her most of the time. She most certainly would know it if she were doing something wrong. Perhaps the soreness between her legs would be stronger and bruises on her neck darker. "I'm getting in with you," she invites herself in and feels a rush of excitement when Luz doesn't object to it.
"'Kay," is all she says and turns on the water. Amity watches in silent amazement, her heart rushing with affection as she stares at her girlfriend leaning against the shower wall, letting the water run over her. After a moment she opens one eye to see Amity just standing there like an idiot biting her lip. "Get in here."
At that, she practically flies to take her offer and ends up stumbling onto Luz, clutching her shoulders for support as she slips on the wet tub. They'd only ever showered together one other time and she missed doing it. There's something so intimate about showering with the one you love, she thinks. It really makes things real.
She has a hard time believing this is real, that this is her life and this is her girlfriend. If she's dreaming, she doesn't ever want to wake up. She gladly leans into Luz's arms that tug her closer by the waist, blissfully lets herself float away under the soft forehead kisses. And when that became too much for her heart to handle, she tilted her chin up to gently kiss her girlfriend's lips.
Of course, she gets awfully sidetracked and they start making out, Amity distractedly reaching up to push the shower head away so it stops spraying in their faces, and then dreamily places it back in Luz's wet hair. She wants to kiss her girlfriend in peace, right here, naked in the shower with her, both of them worn out from their long night of lovemaking to each other.
It's so romantic, she thinks idly, letting Luz take control again. The sound of the water hitting the tub, the soft sound of their kisses, the quiet lovely little moment happening between the two of them, her knowing that tonight, they'd do it all again. Knowing that it would feel so good and all she had to do was wait, try her best at work today and claim her easy reward.
Even if they're in the shower and that means get clean, they're still too lost in each other to care much. They briefly pull away to catch their breath, and because it's already going on three in the morning and because she's sleepy, Amity teasingly ducks away when Luz leans in to kiss her again to reach for the wash cloth hanging on the rack and get some soap.
She's halfway through the task, her mind stuck on the girl behind her when Luz grabs her from behind and busies herself by playing with her girlfriend's small breasts, one in each hand. Goodness, it feels so good and is incredibly distracting. She wants to give up on trying to wash herself and just let Luz have her way right now.
"Babe, stop," she complains halfheartedly, dropping her head back against her girlfriend. She isn't exactly mad about it but it is getting hard trying to stand up on her legs that beg to give out underneath her and wash herself.
"We just finished and already you're so worked up again," she laughs quietly into her ear, and Amity almost misses it over the loud sound of the water. "You're never satisfied."
"I love it too much," she admits, closing her eyes to fully take in the moment, the teasing pleasure of the way she's so shamelessly being toyed with. "I love how you…"
"How I what?" She slips a hand down her smooth, flat stomach and stops brazenly after hooking her fingers between her legs, pressing deliciously on her clit. Amity's much too worn out to have another orgasm— even if she knows anything's possible with Luz— but just the isolated pressure of her finger pressing her right where she aches is so, so good. Too good to even deny.
"How you make me feel so good… all the time." Her breathing picks up when Luz dips inside her and steadily fucks her fingers in and out at a dizzying speed. She rocks her hips into it and her mind races. How did she end up like this… with her? In this endless loop of pleasure and pain… Despite being wet and cold, she manages to break out into a cold sweat. "Yes, don't stop. Don't stop,"
"You're so cute," Luz laughs again and keeps going with a new kind of fondness in the way that she pleasures her girlfriend. "So perfect."
"I'm yours," she moans, her voice obedient and pleading. "Yours, yours, yours…!" She hates it when Luz stops and pulls out to drag her fingers back up slowly over her stomach, spreading her sticky arousal as it washes away under the water and soap. She doesn't bother asking anymore when she stops. She'd been so close to tipping over the edge that she's not really in the right headspace to even try speaking anyways, so what ends up coming out is a miserable and pitiful sounding little noise that only makes Luz relish even more.
"You know I love making my girlfriend feel good… I love pleasing her. But I want you to feel it for a while." She says playfully and devastatingly pulls away. For a moment, Amity is dizzy with annoyance and she nearly slips when she whirls around with a curse on the tip of her tongue. She flails and falls into Luz's arms again and after regaining her composure, she tries kissing her again to see if that would ease the pressure a little bit. "I want you to be distracted, all day."
"Okay," is all she says again, even if she's still angry and confused and irritated about being denied her sweet release to her girlfriend's diligent, strong hand, working so hard to get her off and then… not? She rests a hand on her chest, dragging the other one with the washcloth to subconsciously scrub Luz's shoulder and it lathers nicely on her chocolatey skin.
She bites her lip, tempted again. Goodness, it's just an agonizing cycle of being helplessly turned on to helplessly in love and desperate to feel her close. She feels helpless, but it helps a little when Luz leans in to kiss her neck while Amity idly drags the washcloth down her shoulder to her chest, scrubbing especially teasingly over her breasts and grinning when she moans, kissing roughly up her jaw.
"You always make me wait… but I won't do that to you, okay my love?" She assures her affectionately and drags the washcloth lower to circle over her stomach, and then back around her waist as an afterthought. It's just a sort of unspoken agreement that neither of them care about getting clean anymore. "I'll make sure I take care of you, so good. We'll take it nice and slow," she whispers.
"You're so annoying," Luz groans despite herself. "Why are you so good at this?"
"What am I good at?" She bites back a laugh and suddenly stops with her sensual wash-up and places the washcloth in Luz's hand. "Your turn."
"What?" She pulls away irritably. Amity almost feels bad, knowing exactly how it feels to be trailed along all night only to be dropped at the very last second— but then she remembers all of the things Luz has done to her, lets herself feel the ache of the many bruises covering her body just for a second, thinks about her looming dilemma, how she loves this girl with everything inside of her to no avail— and she thinks this is the least she could do to get her back for just a moment. Because of course, she can't deny her sweet girlfriend when she's breathing so hard and holding her so close, not when she's practically begging for her touch. She doesn't leave her hanging for too long.
"It's your turn to wash me. I need to be clean too, you know." She strains on her tiptoes to brush their lips together but doesn't fully kiss her until Luz does it herself. "I'm still so dirty and… sweaty from you fucking me all night. You made me sweat, babe. Now wash it off."
"Alright, fine." She takes the washcloth and washes over her breasts, but rather roughly. Lately she's been feeling quite sensitive there and any little touch has that quiet ache. It hurts when Luz washes her but somehow Amity likes the pain. She likes getting her frustrated and making her ask for it. She loves making her wait.
"Be gentle," she sternly reprimands her impatient girlfriend. "Like I did you."
Luz sighs but slows her roll a little bit. After soaping up her entire body, she rinses her off with the shower head. Amity starts to get antsy when she teasingly sprays her in the face with the water. And confusingly enough, they stumble against the wall again and make out deeply for a while. This is my life, Amity thinks to herself quite blissfully, kissing her girlfriend back in a daze. She likes it when Luz pins her arms above her head to the slippery cold wall and she loves the press of their wet bodies.
Luz kisses down her neck and Amity moans, happily aggravated and ready for anything. She eventually gets down to her breast and flicks her tongue around her nipple, playfully sucking it into her mouth and popping it back out. She feels something warm building between her legs again and she thinks, oh… this is incredible. What was I so worried about? I love her so much. I want this, all the time. For the rest of my life. I want her.
"Babe, let's get out. I'm cold," she says after a while and gently nudges her away, thoroughly disappointed when her amazing, warm, beautiful mouth isn't on her body anymore.
They wrap towels around themselves and brush their teeth, Amity rushing to finish because she's eager for what's next. After getting dressed, clean and fresh, they cuddle up together in bed under the blankets and they try to get some rest before having to head to work at around six. But, Amity isn't tired. Not anymore. She's all riled up and she feels like her underwear came back on much too soon. She hadn't gotten a chance to receive her punishment yet.
She ached for Luz's tongue swirling her clit, fingering her entrance and making her come all over her face. She drooled at the thought of her hands on her, getting fucked with the strap on from behind and Luz pulling tightly at her hair so hard that it hurts. She longed to be bitten and bruised and torn apart and in pain and to feel tears stinging at her eyes as she endured whatever sick thing Luz wanted to do to her.
Sigh.
Frustrated, Amity straddles her girlfriend, catching her by surprise and the slight panic on her face when her eyes flutter open makes her very happy. Amity sighs and attempts to gather her thoughts, so cloudy and rushing with confusing feelings. She thinks about bad things, how she could pull her pants down right now and sit on her face and force Luz to eat her out until she comes. She could rut her leg until she tipped over, or she could move just a tiny bit and be between her legs, go down on her girlfriend and get off to her loud moans, the feeling of her hand in her hair. There were so many things she could do, being on top. She had so much control that it was almost overwhelming.
"What are you thinking about?" Luz asks quietly, an amused grin tugging the corner of her mouth.
"Fucking you," Amity admits boldly, even if that hadn't been what she was originally thinking. But now she was most definitely thinking. Imagine Luz, her smug and stubborn Luz underneath her, falling apart and getting herself destroyed by Amity's relentlessness. Imagine her tied up and naked, getting fucked from behind and— oh goodness Amity almost dies just from the mere thought of it.
And when she looks at her again, clueless as to the thoughts running through her mind, she thinks— you have no idea what I want to do to you. She almost feels bad for her.
"No way that's gonna happen," she laughs and then closes her eyes again, smugly ignoring Amity's impatient groan.
"Why not, babe?" She asks sweetly, suddenly getting an idea in her head. She leans down to kiss her lips, soft and chaste. Then she buries her face in her neck, taking in the smell of soap and feeling her smooth skin against her lips. She kisses there too, bringing a hand up to gently hold her shoulder while she gives her girlfriend all of her love. Luz lazily slips a hand through Amity's hair and she gasps quietly when Amity unexpectedly nips at her neck. "You like this, don't you?" She asks gently, relishing in the reactions she's getting. Maybe she's better at seduction than she thought.
"Yeah," is all she says, very quietly.
"You don't ever let me love you. You should be better about that…" another soft kiss and then experimentally, she drags her tongue up to her ear, giggling when she feels Luz shiver. "I know you like to be touched and kissed. You just need to let me. I have so much to give you, babe." She whispers close to her ear and then nips her earlobe as an afterthought.
"I love you," she chokes out.
"I love you too. Let me show it to you." She pulls away to sit back up, and to her great surprise she finds Luz looking flustered. Realistically, she would have broken down seeing her like this, but she keeps her brave face on. "What's wrong my love?"
"I just…" she shakes her head, deciding against herself. "Do whatever you want, okay?"
"I just want to make you feel good," she says, breathless. "Because you're always so good at making me…" she trails off when Luz moves to sit up and pulls her into a deep kiss. It feels earnest and so very pleasant that she moans delightedly into it. She loves when Luz is like this, all sensitive and lovey dovey. She loves the gentle hand in her hair and the urgency of her kiss. All that she can do is weakly kiss her back and hope that it says, yes, kiss me because you're all that I want.
"I want you to." She whispers, slowly pulling away.
"I will babe. I will." She closes her eyes and holds a hand to her face, affectionately brushing their noses together and says jokingly, "I think you're falling for me," which was a big mistake. There's an airy silence and alarmed, Amity opens her eyes finding Luz staring at her with an indignant and almost embarrassed look on her face.
"Never." She grins and even if it makes her stomach dip with disappointment, something in her doesn't quite believe the way she says it. She won't give up, ever. Not on her one true love, the light and misery of her life. It's a losing battle at this point, Amity thinks. There's no way a person could stay in a relationship like this one for as long as they have and there still are no feelings there.
Luz is nineteen and Amity is twenty when Luz moves into her own apartment. It's especially aggravating for her, considering her income and ability to afford something better. But somehow she'd ended up here, in this four walled dumpster fire. For some reason, she always finds herself jealous of Amity. She always had everything so easy. Her family was practically rich (even if she claims she doesn't use any of the money), she had a nice apartment, beautiful body, everything about her was everything any normal person sought after. She can never measure up.
Amity has everything, enabling her so many options, so many opportunities, and still, all she wants is Luz.
She really doesn't get her. Something in her wishes she'd realize that and just go. It's starting to eat her up, how incredibly guilty she is with each passing day.
And like it's an afterthought, she stays and begs for more. It's not like Luz would deny her.
Amity helped Luz with unpacking, which was just a small table in the livingroom/kitchen/entrance/hallway and then her bed. Amity's making it up like the amazing girlfriend she is, smoothing the sheet around the corners of the mattress and fluffing up the pillows while Luz watches her apprehensively. She feels bad. Like maybe she should help but also she knows Amity is perfectly happy with doing it herself. And Luz doesn't deserve that, not at all.
She doesn't deserve Amity, not with how pretty she looks, her hair spilling over her shoulders. She's wearing a particularly pretty summer dress today. Luz has always liked how she dressed, it was always so unique and beautiful like her. She feels a certain pang in her chest when she notices the light bruise on her collarbone, proudly showing itself off to the world, the one that she'd noticed again and again throughout the entirety of today. Luz thinks she does it on purpose. Maybe she's proud of her scars.
"Let's hang up your clothes next?" She asks and Luz blinks when she realizes they've made eye contact. It hadn't gone unnoticed that she was staring, because of course it hadn't. This was Amity, the Amity that was so very in love with her, the one that relished in every detail. "What?" She asks again, incredulous.
"I was just looking at your bruise…" she says, and it's not the whole truth, but she isn't lying. "Don't you think you should cover that up?"
Amity looks away, going quiet for a moment. "Not when I'm with you." She hesitantly comes to the other side of the bed where Luz is standing and she invites herself into her arms. Luz doesn't mind at all, pulling her close and kissing her lips softly. "... Why were you looking at me like that?"
"Just thinking about stuff," she says a little too casually.
"Like what?"
She looks at her Amity, her cute amazing girlfriend Amity. She loves her so much that it's crazy. And she's mad at herself because she wasn't supposed to love her. But she can't do anything about it because she's too far gone. She can't deny it to herself anymore so she'll keep trying with Amity, as long as she's a fool and as long as she'll believe it.
"Just happy that I could finally do this. I'm finally out on my own."
A brief flash of disappointment in her eyes, and then they're tangled in another deep kiss. "I'm proud of you, babe." She says, just like Luz knew she would. "We're adults now. We've got responsibilities and… adult things to take care of." She trails off as Luz kisses down her neck, holding her face gently.
"Mhm, adult things. " she laughs. "What kind of adult things did you mean, Blight?"
"Not anything you're thinking, you pervert. I meant… you know. Bills and rent and insurance, life stuff." She squeals with delight when Luz pushes her down on the freshly made bed and leans over her. Amity wraps her arms around her neck, giggling and drops her head back to allow more kisses under her chin. She bites her lip, moaning and Luz can feel the pleasant vibration of it on her lips, happily indulging her girlfriend. "Luz," she sings lazily. "I don't care about anything but you,"
"That's concerning," she says playfully, (even if it makes her more nervous) and keeps kissing her. Amity just giggles some more and holds on tighter for dear life.
"I know," she laughs and clutches at Luz's hair. "Even I get a little worried about myself."
For a moment, Luz gets extremely anxious and starts to feel stuffy. Even if something in her liked the attention and severity of Amity, she does believe that she takes it too far sometimes, and she knows that Amity knows. She must think it's cute.
And… admittedly, it is for Luz, in her own sick and twisted way.
Eventually, she knocks her down fully onto the bed and leaves her for just a moment to take her pants off.
"You don't want to finish unpacking before we get too distracted?" She asks excitedly as she shifts to the center of the bed, the both of them already knowing the answer.
"We worked hard enough today. Let's just relax a bit, yeah?" She grins at Amity, pulling her shirt quickly over her head. She hears Amity's excited little noise and aches to be on her right away. "I want you now."
"Oh my," gasps Amity. She distractedly pulls a pillow under her head and lays back when Luz stands over her on her knees. "Come here babe." She slightly bites her lip and tugs at Luz's bra strap to pull her down. She likes being on top of Amity, because she's so small and cute and easy to dominate. She tries to act tough and scary, but she's really just a coward. She's easy to take advantage of and easy to use. She's such a fun girl to kiss and touch that Luz has found herself very much addicted.
She touches her girlfriend, even if it burns with shame. She gently touches her soft lips, feeling her warmth. Pulls her lip down slightly to tease her and laughs when she moans. Then she rests her hand on her chest, the soft and sturdy part of her collarbone, trails sweetly to the swell of her chest. Swirls her finger teasingly around her nipple before pressing it down with her fingertip. Amity moans louder this time and twists her hips a bit at the sensation. "You're so sensitive here aren't you?" She teases lightly, pulling at the collar of her dress to get more access. She has to hear more of her noises.
"Only for you," she huffs, incredulous when Luz gets her collar down low enough to pull her bra away and take her breast into her hand, gently squeezing and pulling and making her feel so good. "I love your hands," she hums.
"You love my hands?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Mhm. You make me feel so good. I can't describe it."
"Just enjoy it," she suggests and traps her nipple between her fingers this time, trying to come up with other ways to please her girlfriend. "This feels good, right?"
"Of course," she hums. She can't believe the cute girl underneath her, she can't fathom the girlish little moans she's making, how warm she feels to the touch. She's so perfect and she wants to please her. Something about how much she's enjoying this makes Luz jealous in this weird way. Her stomach dips when she yelps at the hand that twists her nipples in a pinch, the sadistic side of her wants to squeeze harder and actually hurt her to hear more. She wants to tease her with a pleasuring ache and then turn it into an agonizing sensation all over her body and make her suffer simply for being her pretty little self.
She wants to turn her delighted sounds into whimpers of pain, wants to see her tears and mascara streaming down her soft cheeks, screaming in agony. Is that weird? Maybe it is, but Amity's made her to feel like it's normal, the way she enables Luz and her bad behaviors. That's why she loves her. Because she lets her get away with so much. How can she not have this weird attachment to the girl who's always throwing herself onto her, begging to be touched no matter what the cost?
At this point, Luz had slowed down and she blinks back from her freaky torture reel to see Amity watching her with those bright, beautiful golden eyes. "Why did you stop?" She gently places a hand over hers, concern and love in her eyes.
"I'm sorry my love," she says sweetly, knowing the effect it has on her when she says that. Amity bites her lip, holding back a delighted little grin and reaches up to tug her bra again but much harder this time. Luz gives in and lays down on top of her, just wanting to be closer to her girlfriend.
"You're my everything," she whispers and rests an affectionate hand on her shoulder. The guilt and shame of the simple touch makes Luz stew in regret, feeling incredibly inadequate and stupid and like she's not supposed to be here, receiving the attention and love from this beautiful girl. She almost feels ashamed to have such terrible thoughts about her. How could she want to torture this sweet, soft angel who is taking her in despite all her faults, coming back for more even if she always gets burned?
Luz lets out a sigh, catching Amity's attention. "Just relax, babe. I'll make sure you enjoy yourself tonight. I want to make it up to you."
"Make what up to me?" She asks, mortified by her persistence.
"Er… everything. And consider this a congratulations… for everything you've accomplished. You've come so far." She slowly slips a hand in her hair and strokes her head gently, immediately making Luz feel drowsy. She huffs incredulously and leans in to her neck, begrudgingly melting into the soothing touch as Amity gently scrapes her scalp with her fingertips. "You're capable of so much. What do you think you'll want to do next?"
She takes a moment to think about it all. She had been thinking about where she wanted to take her career, because she didn't want to act forever. It's not that she enjoys it anyways. There were so many options and professions in the world and somehow she felt incompetent to them all. Maybe she ought to stay in acting since she could at least manage to pretend to be someone else, if not anything else. She isn't good at anything more than pleasuring Amity and even that takes little to no effort. She couldn't ever see herself being an accountant or in retail or anything that required brain power. She feels like such an idiot.
Sighing again, she finally says, "I don't know. I'll quit acting and just work at the register at McDonald's."
"I couldn't even call that a downgrade. More like a nosedive. Don't sell yourself short, babe," she laughs. "I could see you doing lots of things. But why would you ever give up acting?"
"I'm not even good at acting, and I don't like doing it. Why spend the rest of my life being miserable when I could enjoy what I do for a living?"
"You're right about that." She hums thoughtfully, slipping her hand down to hold her face in her hand and splaying her finger teasingly over her lips, giggling when she feels her tongue swipe quickly under them. "But who said that you weren't good at it?"
"You told me."
Amity pauses. "I did? When did I say that? Don't say—,"
"When we first met."
Amity sighs. "Don't listen to anything I said— back then." Luz pulls back slightly to give her girlfriend a look. She pouts her lip slightly and searches in her eyes for something, Luz doesn't know. She doesn't understand her. Then, she reaches up again like before and just holds her face gently, as if she can't get enough of her.
"But, you weren't wrong," Luz insists.
"Yes I was," she laughs quietly. "I was only like that because I liked you."
"I know. I knew that."
"... I was only hard on you because I was hard on myself about it," she pauses, looking away. "That I felt the way that I did."
Luz sighs again and she thinks over the variety of things she could say, like I'm sorry, or she could tell her the truth, the one that she probably already knew, the one that she wouldn't care to know, the one that wouldn't change anything. "It really used to bother me."
"What did?" Her cute girlfriend asks, attentive and concerned again. And oh man, she can't help herself. So Luz absolutely helps herself to her pretty little girlfriend and buries back into her neck, her skin warm and smooth and comforting against hers. She contemplates asking to be touched again, but it's like they're connected right now and the way that she starts to gently massage her scalp again is mind boggling because all Luz can think about is how she doesn't feel worthy of this, how good it feels.
"I know the way we… happened— was… unexpected." She starts off slowly. "But I only did that to get back at you. The way you treated me before really bothered me and I knew you were in love with me, so I took advantage of that."
Amity is quiet for a moment. "That makes sense."
"Yeah, and— I know that's really bad. And I'm sorry. This is pretty bad. How far it went."
"That's okay. And I'm sorry too, for acting like that before. I'm… not very good at handling my emotions sometimes."
Luz laughs. "Yeah. No shit. So I was thinking about it a lot and maybe—,"
"No, I don't want to break up." She feels Amity pull her tighter. Luz winces because that wasn't exactly what she was going to say, but to that effect and enough for Amity to figure that out is just…
She's quiet for a moment before she whispers, "But… we need to."
"No. I don't care about that."
"Amity…"
Her girlfriend is such an enigma. She doesn't understand. "I don't want to talk about this right now." She breathes.
"So… you don't care about how I—,"
"No! I really, really don't." Her laugh comes out a bit hysterical. "I know that's weird but I just… I can't. I don't. And I don't know if you…"
"If—if I what?"
"... I don't know what you want from me. But I can give it to you." She says, her voice soft. "Just tell me what it is."
"I don't want anything," Luz says, indignant.
"Okay. That's fine too. I just want to be with you. You're all I want." Amity pulls Luz closer, and she starts to feel just down right terrible about all this. What even is this? Did she… is she under some kind of spell, so far gone that she can't even see the problem with this anymore?
She guessed, the more you do something that you know is absurd, it becomes less and less of a problem and it's normalized in your own head. That's what's happening here and she knows it. If they keep going like this then…
"Can I keep touching you?"
Luz blinks. "If you want to,"
"Of course, my love. I do…" she giggles quietly, and Luz starts to wonder if she should be concerned. She's in bed with this girl who is crazy and it's making her crazy and she doesn't know. It's like an endless cycle, a loop-de-loop of pleasure and guilt. And in the moment she doesn't care, especially not this moment with the way Amity's taking such good care of her.
For goodness's sake… this was never going to end was it?
To her immense horror, Luz finds herself to be the one with the least amount of clothing on. Usually, Amity's the one in her underwear before Luz even thinks about removing her jacket. But now, today on the first night of being a real independent adult, she wants to let herself feel loved for once. She wants to let her girlfriend pleasure her like she always asked. So she enjoys the gentle hands touching her bare skin, tracing up her side and respecting the places where her underwear covered. She loves Amity so much as they kiss passionately, loves her for listening.
There'd been so many times and counting when Luz disregarded boundaries. She doesn't know why, except that she knows Amity likes it. Even if she cries and objects to it, Luz still does it but she doesn't know if it's to please her so much as it is to punish her. She doesn't do it to feed Amity's twisted fantasies but instead to fuel her own.
Then again, the two of them were never on the same page with anything. Perhaps Amity really did wish to be respected, maybe she didn't like figuring out how to cover a new hickey on her neck before work as much as she thought she did. Luz is so confused about everything and she can't help but feel a bit stupid. Should she ask?
Either way, Amity respected her. As many times as they'd done this, Luz still hadn't gotten used to touch. She barely let her on most days. Even if she did like it when her girlfriend did touch her, something about it was just… mildly uncomfortable. Her mind was enjoying it, but not quite her body in the same way. She always had to mentally prepare herself beforehand to get herself ready for it—because a lot of the time Amity gets carried away, which Luz secretly loves.
Amity always asked. Always went slow and soft, listening and respecting Luz. Because love and respect were two different things. And she didn't quite know if she had both. Maybe if she did, she wouldn't be so reckless with Amity's body. But the bottom lining was always that Amity liked it and if it was fine with Amity then it was fine for Luz.
Part of it was about ownership and petty possessiveness. Luz knows that she has Amity more or less forever and under her thumb. That excited her and sometimes she gets a little carried away as well, not like Amity minds.
She liked seeing her naked bruised body, knowing she caused it, hearing her screaming in pain and holding her close, even if now her feelings on it have started to change. She liked claiming what's hers, showing Amity the consequences of her actions. Liked the horrified expression of other people noticing the marks with grand realization. She's a little sick, but only because Amity lets her be like that.
How can she not want to take advantage of this girl, so willingly handing herself over? So sweet and small and perfect. She fits so nicely in her hands.
"Don't stop touching me, okay?" asks Luz very embarrassedly, her face now burying into Amity's neck.
"Of course babe, whatever you want. How do you want me to touch you?"
"Just like this, for a little while…'' she closes her eyes, allowing herself to feel the soft circles her cute girlfriend traces on her back, just below her bra.
More and more, she finds herself craving for her touch. Her heart flutters sometimes when Amity puts her hands on her, even if it's just a simple gesture like hand holding or touching her face.
"Of course," she whispers lovingly. "... I'm really happy, babe."
"Why?" She asks, because she really, really doesn't understand how she could possibly be happy.
"Because I'm with you. You're letting me touch you. I just love you so much," she sounds breathless. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say."
"That's okay. You don't need to say anything… and, Amity?" She asks quietly.
"Yes, my heart?" She breathes, and Luz knows that she knows exactly what she wants to say.
"I love you too. So much. I'm sorry if that means nothing to you anymore, but, um." She swallows. She feels so wrong saying this, partly because she doesn't even deserve to be saying it and that she's partly torn, even still. She's so confused. "But, I do."
"No, Luz. That means everything to me. I love you too." She pauses for a long time, keeps touching her girlfriend with loving gentleness, tracing softly around the waistband of her panties in the back. It makes Luz shiver and the only thing she can do is weakly kiss her neck with everything she can muster up. Then she asks quietly, "... but you can understand why I'm unsure, can't you?"
Luz thinks about it for a while, simmering in her shame. "Yeah," is all she says.
"You've told me before… and I believed you, even if I know you've never meant it." She hesitates. "Could… could you tell me what makes this time different?"
Damn her. She always knows exactly how to catch Luz off guard. She does know and Amity deserves to know too. But it's not like she can actually put it into words. She wants to try, because that's what Amity deserves.
But if Amity doesn't want or care for her to, then what's the point? Anything's good enough for her. It's not her fault that her girlfriend has such low standards.
"I guess it's not any different." She mumbles.
"Alright then," Amity sighs. She brings her hand up to slowly pull her bra strap down her shoulder. Luz feels amazingly terrible and flinches away a bit. Amity really confuses her sometimes. She wants to just curl up in a ball and die. She wants to put her clothes back on. "Don't worry about it. We've got time. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, okay?"
"Me either."
"That's fine. Let's just go slow. I want to do this with you, okay my love? Whatever it takes." She sounds wistful and falsely determined. Luz pulls herself away, unable to rest comfortably in her arms anymore. When she meets Amity's eyes, she looks confused, and all Luz wishes to do is answer all of those questions and validate those feelings. But she doesn't know how. "Do… do you still want to have sex?" She asks shakily.
"Let's just rest for tonight," she moves off of her but cuddles up close next to her girlfriend again after a moment. She's tired. She's exhausted. She wants to cry. Why is she like this?
Ugh.
"Luz?"
"Yeah?" Her heart leaps to her throat.
"Is—… Is there something wrong? You can talk to me, you know."
Luz is holding back tears and she doesn't dare say anything or she'll just start crying like a baby. How pathetic. This isn't supposed to be happening. Amity turns over to face her and she gives Luz a soft kiss, delicate and understanding. Luz whimpers and holds Amity's face, pulling her close and kissing her deeper.
When Luz gets to Amity's apartment, she finds the living room dark and empty, and she knows right away that her girlfriend only means business. She was okay with that because well, they were adults and they didn't have time for needless games anymore.
For some reason, Luz is a bit nervous this time. She's never nervous. Maybe it's just because she knows what Amity is expecting, that it's Valentine's Day and she wants her to be romantic. Really, Luz isn't in the mood for romance and she most definitely isn't in the mood to talk.
She's been feeling so sensitive lately. She sighs and looks down boredly at the bouquet of red roses and the stupid obnoxiously pink, heart shaped box of chocolates in her hands that she brought for Amity thinking to herself, when did I get like this? When did I start caring?
All of the other Valentine's Days weren't like this. They were bitter and intense and spiteful. Because she only did this whole thing out of spite. Spite, she reminds herself to no avail, setting the roses down on the counter and sticking the candies in the freezer— only because it was going to be a while before either of them ever thought about it again, and that Luz spent money on it was enough for her to care what happened to it.
She's standing in the dark, slowly helping herself to a glass of water because it was going to be a long night, and she listened to the sounds of Amity rustling around in the closet in the back room. After a while, she comes out into the living room and watches Luz for a quiet moment. They just stare at each other with what, she doesn't know. But there's something about her stupid-but-insanely-Amity casual red dress, and as Luz is thinking that she's never seen her in red before, she notices her lips, stained red with the glossiest lipstick she's ever seen.
She almost feels stupid for not dressing up, even if this wasn't really a very special occasion for them anyways and like they were a normal couple. She sees Amity's eyes as they fill with golden wonder when she notices the roses on the counter. She looks back up at Luz, the confusion in her face begging the question. She looks hesitant when she picks them up to sniff them, and Luz rolls her eyes, endeared to her core because who smells the flowers anymore?
Besides, she'd smelled them on her way up the elevator and it wasn't anything special.
"Thank you," she says quietly and she unwraps them from the paper to set them in the vase sitting on the corner of the counter. Luz just sips her water, unsure of what to say.
"Welcome."
"Is everything alright?" She eyes her, concerned. And damn her for caring. Damn her for being such a good girlfriend, damn her for giving Luz another reason to be guilty.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she decides to finally set the glass down and come around the counter to give her the attention she deserved. When she pulls her in by the waist and their bodies pressed together, it's like an electric shock because Luz almost forgot what it felt like.
Maybe this was a tiny bit special. The two of them had abused sex for the entirety of the relationship and for Luz it was a way to torture her, a way to tie Amity down to someone she would eventually have to leave. It wasn't something occasional or anything to be excited about. To them, it was as normal as the next generic relationship ritual.
It becomes tiring and fruitless a lot of the time, and Amity is usually the one to suggest a break. Especially for occasions like Valentine's Day when she wanted sex to be special and sweet and romantic. This was only the first of a however-many-days streak. It's only their nature to build up for days and then spend days getting off, only to wear themselves out again and repeat their stupid process.
But they both love it so much, in this weird way.
"You look so good," she whispers softly, their lips brushing together when Amity leans forward to wrap her arms around Luz's neck.
"Thanks babe," she giggles and they finally kiss deeply for the first time in days besides little pecks. It takes her breath away, how good it feels to kiss her. They fit so perfectly together, like they're meant to be, somehow and even through everything.
She loves the little delighted moans she makes, pushing herself deeper into the kiss and she loves the softness of her lips on hers. She loves the curve of her back where her arms fit perfectly, holding her tight. Amity tilts her head to the side, her body lazily drifting as the kiss gets longer and deeper, Luz having to lean with her because she would rather die than stop kissing her.
Before long, they're breaking apart and gasping for air, not before Luz has caught Amity's luscious red bottom lip between her teeth and biting it deeply, Amity moaning deliciously in pain. Something about the lipstick makes her mouth so much more alluring and she finds herself wanting to feel it on her more and more.
She wants those red lips kissing her neck and leaving hickeys down her chest. She wants her tongue tracing her skin, wants those hands touching her body, so much that it makes her a bit dizzy. "You like my lips," Amity points out when she catches Luz staring.
"Yeah, I do."
"Does… does it look good? The lipstick, I mean." She asks apprehensively and subconsciously bites her lip again, which drives Luz wild.
"Yeah. You look sexy. You should wear it more often."
"Okay," she looks up at Luz and before she can do anything else, they're tangled back up in another soft kiss. And Luz thinks she could do this forever, kissing her. She's starting to feel like maybe she's the one who's nuts. This is a bigger deal in her head than it actually is. But it's not her fault that she's in love with her girlfriend.
"Let's skip the casualties, yeah? I wanna get right to it," says Luz with her lopsided grin, the one that she knows Amity can't resist. Somehow she does, biting her lip, she breaks the kiss to give Luz a daring look.
"You have to be patient," she says slowly, her eyes challenging and playful. "Control yourself, Noceda."
And, Luz can't exactly be mad about that, her shameless reference. Not with the way she's looking at her and not with the way she feels against her, not with how badly she wants her. Really, she'd do anything for it. For her. She steals one last kiss before Amity pulls away and goes back into the kitchen. "I got us something to drink," she says, not so confident anymore as she digs through the refrigerator.
What she pulls out is a bottle of red wine, and Luz laughs a little. "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to refrigerate wine,"
Amity winces at that, pouring them two glasses. "Well, I don't know anything about wines. Or really anything alcohol related at that. I just thought we could try it," she sets the bottle back down and is quiet for a moment. "Haven't you ever had wine before?"
"Once. But it's not strong enough for me so I usually avoid it. I'm not drinking just to drink, you know." Luz takes the glass that Amity offers her and peers down at it curiously. If anyone asked her, wine was stupid and pointless. It's not good and it definitely isn't worth most prices being charged for it. She'd have to down four bottles before she started to feel anything. Really, she preferred the stronger stuff.
Amity groans apprehensively but she offers her girlfriend a gentle kiss over the counter and she says, "Let's make a toast."
"Toast to what?"
She pauses. "I'm... not sure. I don't actually want to condone us. We aren't…" she looks away. Luz wants to pull her into a hug and tell her everything's okay and that she's sorry. She loves that she dressed up and she loves that she brought wine, even if it's stupid. She loves that this is a holiday for them and that they're together for it. She places a gentle hand on hers and sighs.
"Well, it's been this long, right? Who gives a fuck?" She lifts her glass and so does Amity, hesitantly clicking it against hers. "To us. Whatever we are. Whatever this is."
"Yes... to us. I love you, Luz." She smiles her pretty smile and puts the glass to her lips, recoiling at the smell of it.
"I love you too. Drink it all for me, 'kay?" She takes a quick sip and immediately wants to spit it out. It's disgusting, but that's the fun of it, right? It's overwhelmingly sweetened and at the same time extremely watered down. There's no burn and she doesn't relax as it hits her tongue. She feels like she's drinking Kool-Aid. Frustrated, she groans and downs the whole glass quickly and just to humor Amity, she says, "Mmm, that was good. What do you think?"
"It's… fine." She coughs a bit, her eyebrows furrowed in disgust. She'd only taken three sips and already she looked sick. "I've had better,"
Luz rolls her eyes, nodding her head affectionately. She bets that Amity couldn't even remember the name of one alcohol she'd ever had. She sets her glass down on the counter and watches the dark red liquid filter into the cup as Amity gives her a refill. "But like, why wine?" She asks, taking another sip. "You could've literally gotten anything else."
"I… I don't know! I just thought that since it's Valentine's Day that we should stick to a theme. And I was curious to try." She gags after a particularly big sip. "I don't care about taste. I just want to wake up tomorrow with the worst hangover of my life."
"That's a weird thing to want but to each their own," Luz mumbled as she poured herself another glass. It's disgusting but it's kind of starting to grow on her, the empty flavor of it.
"I want to be completely wasted. That way it's more fun." She says as she's finishing her first glass and moves to pour herself another. "I'm starting to feel it," she hums.
"I don't feel anything," she snorts and gets another glassful. Amity eyes her incredulously as she sips.
"Are you sure you're not drunk?" She asks her skeptically.
"I'm not drunk. I could drink ten of these and still not be drunk," she tilts the bottle in Amity's hand to fill her glass again for the fourth time. "You can't get drunk off of wine. Well, you probably could. But normal people, no."
"I'm normal," she slaps Luz's hand lightly but because she's not drunk, she flinches and spills a little down the front of her shirt. Luz gasps and Amity's eyes widen—she grabs a handful of napkins to press over the deepening red stain. "I'm so sorry," she pleads, hurriedly pushing her glass away and trying to rub it out of her shirt but ends up only spreading it.
"It's okay. It's coming off anyways right?" She playfully shoves Amity away and because she's completely drunk, she stumbles back against the refrigerator. Something in her eyes flash and as she stumbles to come back to the counter, clutching the edges to steady herself, she starts laughing with the sudden realization.
"Of course. Yes! You're completely right." She says and there's an odd hysteria in her eyes, and there's a moment of silence as they stare at each other, Luz confusedly setting her glass down. Amity chuckles awkwardly and her eyes fall down to the bottle of wine slightly to her left. She flinches as if it's a snake or something and pushes it farther away. It slides, stopping just barely enough that it thankfully doesn't fall off of the marble counter. "I'm not drinking anymore of that- shit." She ever so slowly walks around the counter, holding on cautiously and then stumbling into Luz's arms, feeling safe and warm and like her life is complete.
"You're so fucking weird," Luz huffs, holding her tightly in her arms and soothingly rubbing her back as she nuzzles into her neck. Luz shivers, feeling her soft, sloppy kiss on her jaw. She wants to see her girlfriend. She tips her face up with a finger under her chin and Amity looks up at her with wonder in her eyes, her mouth slightly hung open. She's looking at her like she's the best thing ever. And she does not deserve to be looked at like that. But Luz isn't going to be emotional tonight. Tonight, she needs to be sexy. She needs…
"Wow, you're so beautiful." Amity whispers. "Your stupid face makes me insane."
"Your face is stupid too," she says, equally as entranced with her girlfriend. She's…
Amity lifts her trembling hand to hold her face and it's soft and warm and everything Luz has ever hoped for. And it might be all that wine she had but damn, she's so amazing. Amity leans in and kisses her so tenderly that it makes Luz dizzy. How did she get this girl to kiss her like this? How did she get her so in love with her, someone so… incompetent?
"Wanna go have sex now, baby?" Asks Amity very sweetly, tracing her finger idly down her neck, like that's as casual as the next thing to ask another person. But she guesses maybe it is. For them it is. And Luz doesn't really have to answer, her picking her girlfriend up as they kiss, arching under her weight and stumbling as she sways for her footing is enough of an answer, she thinks. They tumble into the bedroom and Luz gracelessly lets Amity back down and holds her by the shoulders as she struggles to stand.
They tangle into another kiss and Luz pushes her against the bed, the loud thump of her calf hitting the frame makes her wince and she pulls away to check if she's okay. "I'm sorry babe," she pants, gasping for air.
"It's okay my love," she puts a hand on the back of her neck and pulls her close again, their lips brushing against each other's. "Let's have sex."
"Okay," Luz idly agrees and places her hand to rest on her girlfriend's side. Their kisses turn fast paced and frenzied, building a deep tension between her legs, one that she was not eager to get rid of just yet. Amity pulls away and Luz is a needy little idiot so she leans in to kiss her neck. She hears Amity's little noise, something between a whine and an incredulous gasp as she drops her head back. Meanwhile, Luz travels her hand down the slight curve of her hip, slipping easily over the silky fabric of her dress, taking her time with feeling her girlfriend.
Eventually, she gets to her thigh, where the dress cuts off and she briefly wonders what's under it, even if she probably already knows. Besides, she's getting a little stuffy anyways, hearing her noises and feeling her clutch tightly at her shoulder. Luz stops kissing to tease her a bit while she folds the edge of her dress over, tracing the skin there. "You know… you look so sexy in this dress. But do you wanna know what I think?"
Amity doesn't respond except with a little nod. Luz laughs quietly. "I think it's time to take it off."
"You're right babe. Take it off," she says, her voice just above a whisper. Luz wastes no time with trying to do just that. She reaches around the back and searches for a zipper or some form of removal but doesn't find anything.
"How… how do I take this off?" She laughs nervously and pulls away to see Amity's cute face. It's futile when she pulls her back in to kiss her softly and affectionately.
"I'll do it," she says after pulling away to sit down on the bed. She pulls the sleeves sensually off of her shoulders and peels it down to her legs, slipping her feet out. Luz is mainly mesmerized by the fluidity of it, but then when she sees the lingerie that she's wearing underneath, she's pleasantly unsurprised. It's a red one-piece, see through and lacy and not very astonishing in a good way. It only accentuates her body, makes her want it more.
She can see her nipples covered under a swirly pattern, and she notices a zipper over the chest area. Her eyes trail down between her legs to prove her theory right about there also being one there too. It's probably the stupidest thing she's ever seen—but the fact that this is Amity, and of course she would buy and wear something like this only makes her heart swoon and pulls her closer to touch her warm girlfriend.
Luz leans on top of her, kissing her neck softly. "This is sexy," she whispers. She traces her hand down the length of her smooth, flat stomach, rests her hand gently between her legs. She hears Amity's breath hitch and she reaches up to hold the back of Luz's neck while she kisses her up again. She wants to take it slow tonight and things are relatively calm right now. She wants to feel and touch and taste her girlfriend everywhere. Giving her crotch a gentle pat, the dampness of it just barely enough to wet her fingers, she brings her hand back up to cup her breast. Amity twists into it, arching her back slightly off the bed and moaning.
She loves her girlfriend's body, so soft and delicate and small. She could destroy her if she wanted to. She could injure her. She could crush her.
"I want you to touch me," Amity chokes out. "Please, babe."
"How do you want me to touch you?" She teases, giving her breast a little squeeze and giggling quietly when Amity moans.
"However you want," she says, her voice quiet and obedient. "I'm all yours."
It drives her crazy whenever she says that.
"That's right," she assures her sweetly, tracing her finger along the lace over her chest to reach the zipper. She pulls it back sensually to open the chest area, exposing Amity's warm, creamy skin. "You're mine. Now be a good pet and tell me what you want."
"I… I don't know, baby. I don't know what I want." She whispers and puffs her chest up when Luz slips her hand in, the feeling of skin to skin is an electric shock for both of them. Amity lets out a little whine as Luz feels her up so shamelessly, playing her body like an instrument, like it's hers. Luz can't help herself when she makes a little noise, watching her girlfriend in ecstasy as she twists and squirms under her hand. She pinched her nipple between her fingers, playfully pulling and tugging at her. "Don't tease me."
"I need you to tell me what you want." She pulls her hand out of the chest pocket and trails back down between her legs. She makes out with her girlfriend, their tongues dancing as she distractedly feels around for the zipper. "You need to start speaking up, Blight." She slips inside after having successfully unzipped her and teasingly rests her hand over Amity's wet clit, patting her gently.
"I want you to touch my…—ah," she gasps when Luz starts to massage her with two fingers, gently at the top in slow circles. She feels her girlfriend relax under her and she rolls her hips in a slow rhythm.
"Like how?" Luz laughs delightedly and kisses her neck softly, listening intently to Amity's long, heavy breaths and slipping her fingers a bit lower to massage her center, using her index finger to stroke her at the bottom. "You need to talk."
"This is perfect," she struggles to say, whimpering and gasping for air. "You're wonderful. Don't stop."
"I'll never stop, baby," she whines into her neck, getting hot and stuffy just from her little girlfriend's enticing reactions. She grazes over her clit again, resting her palm over it to thrust her fingers inside of her.
Amity moans in low, continuous whispers, each one louder than the first. She sounds desperate and helpless like a cute little kitten. She arches her back, angling her hips for Luz to fuck her easier and faster and harder. She holds Luz's hair so tight that it hurts. It's all so wonderfully lewd and hot that she can't even think straight. "Fuck, babe," she cries. "Fuck, fuck,"
"Don't come yet. Show me how long you can last," she challenges.
"That's not fair!" She whines. "I'm, so close,"
Luz ignores her, but keeps pumping her fingers while slowing the pace until she finally stops and pulls them out of her cute, small girlfriend. It's crazy how absolutely coated her fingers are and knowing the fact that Amity hadn't actually come yet.
"If you're gonna come, I wanna taste it," is all Luz says and she quickly moves to be in between her legs, forcing her open. Amity squeaks, wrapping her legs around Luz's back. "Be a good girl for me and keep your legs open?"
"Yes, baby," she looks down at her, smiling lewdly and biting her lip. "Wanna hold hands?"
"Of course, beautiful," she reaches up to gently lace her fingers with her cute girlfriend and places a soft kiss on her folds. Amity moans and sucks in a deep breath. "You okay?"
"I'm fine. Just please eat me out already," she whines.
Luz giggles. She feels so in control being here, her cute girlfriend so vulnerable and exposed just for her. She gently strokes down her inner thigh with her free hand, experimentally poking her tongue out to get the first taste of her soft clit. Right away, Amity bucks her hips and softly grabs for Luz's hair, moaning.
She quickly twirls her tongue around before folding it in to press deeper inside of her. She's so soft and sweet and warm inside. So sensitive and tight, flinching softly against her invading tongue, making her feel so good. "Like this?" She pulls out just to teasingly ask, slowly slipping back in to satisfy her.
"Yeah babe," she jerkily grinds her hips against each slow stroke, sounding delirious and panting for air. "Just like that. That's the spot,"
"You're so desperate, aren't you? Haven't had anything so deep inside of you in so long?" She purrs soothingly, pulling her tongue out with one last stroke and pressing a kiss to her thigh while she eased two fingers to fit inside her entrance, and when they slip into her tight walls with ease, she gives the center of her clit an affectionate little lick while she slowly fucks her fingers in and out. Amity lets out a miserable cry, breathing so heavily and rutting her hips so violently that it almost distracts Luz, trying to get every last bit of friction.
"Fuck!" She whines. "Fuck, don't stop, Luz. Please, please. I need it, please,"
"Beg me, babe," Luz whimpers, fucking her fingers faster and flicking her tongue frivolously, getting so helplessly turned on along with her hysterical girlfriend. She can't help but breathe a little bit heavier, watching her lose it and hearing her cry. Fuck, it's so hot.
"Yes, yes, yes. Please, please," she cries and squirms. "Don't stop. I love you so much. I'm about to come… so soon,"
She can't help but laugh. "Do it," she dares her and crooks her fingers inside, hooking on her soft, sticky walls that are so incredibly warm. That's what does it and pushes her over the edge when she lets out a sob and Luz feels her clench tightly around her two fingers. She makes sure to give her a little extra so she can ride it out, slowly pushing and pulling her fingers back out and stroking her clit with the tip of her tongue to taste her sweetness. It's so cute and amazing how she did this to her, pleasured her so well that she made such a mess of herself over it.
What a pathetic sight, her girlfriend so indecent and out of control like this.
"Good girl," Luz tells her and examines her coated fingers after pulling them out, and after a decisive moment decides to stick her tongue out and taste her sweet girlfriend all over her fingers. "Hm, you're so delicious my love," she says just to embarrass her.
"Sto—op." She squeezes her eyes shut, but wraps her arms around her neck when she moves up to hug her. They kiss and Luz really makes sure that Amity gets to taste herself, their tongues dancing in a weak but passionate makeout.
When Luz finally pulls away, she gives her girlfriend a hot little grin, biting her lip because she's overwhelmed with bad ideas and things she wants to do to her little Amity, so she reaches behind her to pull down the zipper in the back to get her completely naked, but Amity stops her.
"Babe, wait," she sounds breathless, excited and anxious for what the rest of the night has in store for them.
"What's wrong?"
She sits up slightly, holding Luz's face in her gentle hand and kisses the corner of her mouth affectionately. "Tonight is about both of us. Let's be equal, okay?" She whispers, brushing her thumb over her cheek. "I want to please you too."
"Okay," Luz nods after a moment of apprehension, but Amity's softness makes up for it. At the gentle push of Amity's hand on her chest, she sits up for her cute small girlfriend to straddle her. She takes her passionate kisses and lets it reassure her while her hands trace down to her shoulder.
"I'm going to take this off okay?" She pulls her bra strap down, then on the other side before kissing her lips with a soft peck before she can object. She pushes herself close, their chests pressing comfortingly together as Amity carefully reaches around to unhook Luz's bra. Then she pulls back to take it fully off and she hastily tosses it away to kiss her deeply again. "Nothing to worry about," she says gently after pulling away.
All Luz can do is look at her, her chest swelling with an intense feeling of something. She can't gather her thoughts fast enough for when Amity leans forward to kiss softly down her neck, stopping at her shoulder to sink her teeth there, biting down hard. She gasps and tangles a hand through her hair, the sensation leaving her breathless. "I love you, Amity," she whispers, her mouth dropping open incredulously at how good her cute little girlfriend is making her feel.
"I love you too." She assures her sweetly and brings the hand resting on her shoulder down to her breast, tracing around it lightly. Her kisses trail down her collarbone and she places more around her other breast, light like butterflies before flicking her tongue deliberately over her nipple. "I love your body and I don't ever want you to be ashamed. You trust me, don't you?"
"Of course," she says breathlessly, loves her with all her heart.
"Good. You're so amazing. So beautiful." She twirls her tongue around and uses her other hand to playfully flick her nipple. "Do you like this?"
"I… love it. Please don't stop."
Amity giggles, a satisfied little smile as she bites her lip. Gives her nipple a decisive little lick. "I like it when you praise me."
Luz gets embarrassed, but it doesn't stop her from enjoying herself. If Amity wants praise, she'd praise her all day if only she'd keep going. She strokes her pretty hair gently and lets out a little moan when Amity starts to get a little rough, grazing her now sensitive nipple between her teeth. Then she starts to suck, and the feeling of it is weird but oddly satisfying. She can't believe how great this is. She's so happy. This is the best day ever, really. She loves her girlfriend so much. "Amity," she shudders and clutches onto her shoulder.
"Yes, my heart?"
"You're so perfect... don't stop."
Amity does exactly that and pulls away, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "I won't, babe. But I need you to lay down, okay?"
Luz nods and quickly obeys, feeling excited when Amity returns to bed with the strap-on clipped around her waist. She straddles her again and Luz peers up at her anxiously. She has something else, twirling it round her two fingers. "What's that?" She asks.
"You remember." She tells her, a stern look in her eye. Oh, yeah. That stupid ribbon she bought all that time ago. How does Amity have it? "Wrists together."
Luz huffs but begrudgingly does that too. She can't believe what's happening right now, never once did she think she'd ever be the one to get tied up. And by a girl like Amity at that! She makes sure to tie it nicely, her fingers going cold with the strained blood flow. Amity forces her arms over her head and tells her to keep them there.
"This must be a tough moment for you," says Amity distractedly as she angles herself perfectly to start fucking her girlfriend. She ends up standing on her knees between Luz's legs.
"Yeah, well. Enjoy it because it's never happening again." She rolls her eyes, staring boredly up at the ceiling. She gasps, her entire mood shifting when she feels Amity guiding it in, hard and slightly too big to fit inside of her, but still she forces it forward. Her persistence is pretty hot, Luz admits to herself. She seems adamant on doing this, even if she doesn't know why. She can't help but feel a bit nervous, remembering what happened last time.
Once it's inside, she does a few test strokes to get an easy rhythm going with her hips. Those are especially painful because Luz has barely had anything inside of her like this, and she knows Amity isn't about to go easy on her tonight. She's always heard about the first few times being painful and even if the circumstances are different, she's proud to finally have that confirmed. Though she couldn't help but wonder if it was supposed to hurt.
"How's this?" Amity asks sweetly, her hips now moving back and forth at a slow pace inside of her.
"Feels good," she says shakily. Again, Amity shifts her position a bit to lay down over Luz to bury her face in her neck, kissing her softly, ultimately distracted by the pattern of her hips. "This is nice," she sighs, moaning and squeezing at every little thrust inside and every little tinge of pain somewhere deep inside her.
"I'm glad, babe." She kisses her tenderly, holding onto Luz's shoulders. "You think this is hot, don't you?"
"This is hot. You're so beautiful…"
"I think you're hot too, Luz. I've never told you how much I like you, have I?"
"I have a pretty good idea, I think." She laughs despite herself. To her delight, Amity gives her another soft kiss and she sweetly brushes their noses together, laughing a little bit.
"I like how you try to act tough. Like you don't care about anything. But in reality you're just as bad as me." She huffs, and even if Luz is delirious she's indignant as well. She hears her girlfriend's soft breathing as she rocks her hips back and forth, lovingly slipping in and out of her and giving her that antagonizing pleasure. It's almost torturous, how great it feels. She guesses she deserved it after all this. "I like it when you let me take control." She whispers. "And I know you like it too."
And anyways, all that Luz can manage is a whiny moan as her affirmation that yes, she absolutely loves this— which was not part of the plan and is completely unacceptable, but it's not like she can do anything about it.
She's stuck, hands tied and trapped under this cute and maniacal girl giving everything to her like it's her day job. And even if she's way past it, her heart can't help but swoon at the feeling of just Amity on top of her. She loves her hands clutching onto her shoulders, loves the pressure of their bodies pressed up against each other and the feeling of her hips working against hers.
"I like it when you're out of control."
"I'm not," she insists incredulously, but they both know it's futile by the sound of her voice, whiny and desperate.
"Yes you are. I know exactly what you think of me like this," she says, out of breath from exerting herself to take out all of her feelings on Luz. She sounds manic and Luz is mostly confused, but this was probably the hottest thing to happen to her, so she wasn't complaining.
She takes everything her little girlfriend gives, feels her pressing and thrusting so perfectly against her clit, and so she doesn't pay much mind to what she's saying— even if it's true. "You think it's hot when I dominate you because I'm so weak. You like seeing me try. You're trying act sooo tough, but really this is too much to handle for you, isn't it?" She roughly bites her neck. "Isn't that right, babe?"
"You're so right," she chokes out. "You're so beautiful…"
She loves it when Amity kisses her, touches her so gently, and tangles a hand in her hair. Luz has just about had enough with Amity kissing her neck, bothering her nipple and of course still fucking her to her wit's end, and she says quietly, "Please," because she doesn't know how much more she can take.
"Please what, babe?" She asks innocently, and gives her nipple one last pinch between her fingernails before she moves to sit up slightly and kiss Luz again. "Are you close?"
Luz nods, biting her lip.
"Okay. Let me help you my love," she brushes her fingers through the hair stuck by sweat to her forehead and then traces up her arm to lace her fingers together with Luz's useless tied up hand. Her hips start to move jerkily and she squeezes her hand tight. "Go ahead. I'll wait for you." She says sweetly.
"Fuck… fuck you." Luz groans bitterly, mad that she's so worked up over this. Why is she so cute and sweet and soft? Why does she…
"I love you," Amity pushes her into a deep kiss and bites down hard on Luz's bottom lip. The pain is so bad that all she can do is take it along with everything else, and she finds that it's an oddly pleasant mixture of sensation, pleasure and pain. She can understand why Amity craves it all the time. Now she thinks she's addicted.
Addicted to her warm, dutiful girlfriend so dedicated to making her feel nice, making her feel all these crazy things at once. Luz is kind of happy to be like this, so helpless underneath her. It gives her a weird feeling that draws her in and wants more of this side of Amity, and she gets hot thinking of all the things she's done to her. What if this was her getting payback for everything? What if she'd finally had enough and was taking control now? And why does that idea get Luz weirdly excited?
And when she finally comes, it's to the great feeling of her girlfriend whispering sweet nothings in her ear, her hand in hers, guiding her through it all. She's so gratified, so grateful for her. They lay there tangled together in a sweaty mess, Luz panting and Amity gently stroking her hair. She never wants to leave. She never wants to stop this…
A sudden wave of guilt washes over her, wading through the gentle blanket of calm and peace she'd been feeling only a moment before. She doesn't know why, but she wants to do whatever it takes to make it go away, to make it up to her. She squirms a bit, swallowing anxiously.
Amity tries to pull away but Luz stops her. "Wait," she hurries to say because the thought of not being pressed up against her is worse than anything else she can imagine. Her girlfriend kisses her neck with only her tenderness and she sighs softly in exhaustion.
"What's wrong, my love?"
"Don't leave me," she says like a massive idiot, pathetic and incompetent.
"I'm never leaving you." She assures her, and there's a brief pause as they kiss deeply for a moment. "Let me take this out of you. You must be so sore."
"A little…" she looks away, embarrassed. Her chest aches when Amity sits back up on her knees, the feeling of her sticky skin up against hers is nothing but a hazy daydream and Luz wants to die. Her girlfriend pushes her legs open with a little force, and she strokes the top of her clit to ease the ache a bit. Luz lets out a needy little moan, even if she'd been spent for the next few weeks tonight. She already felt like she wanted more, whatever Amity would give her.
And the next thing she feels is a pulsing ache throughout the entirety of her vagina— WHICH IS NOT PLEASANT AT ALL. She yelps in pain and she sees Amity wince. "I'm sorry my love. It's going to hurt a lot, okay? I'll go quick."
"Yeah, yeah. Just hurry," she said through searing pain, and what follows is another quick shoot of something terrible going up exactly where Amity had spent the time, and then it's out. She takes it off and practically launches herself back on top of Luz.
"I'm sooo sorry," she wraps her arms around her neck and hugs her tight. Luz takes it for a moment, feeling her soft girlfriend on her again, which she loves, but—
"Untie me," she says irritably.
"Oh! Right, sorry." She scrambles to undo the tight knot, Luz feeling the immediate rush of blood flow back in her hands when she takes it off. She sits back and is quiet for a moment, watching Luz.
"It's fine," she says and with her hands—(yay) she is able to reach up and touch her girlfriend. She pulls her in by the back of her neck and they kiss deeply until their lungs beg for air.
"I love you," Amity tells her again. "Do you want to cuddle?"
"Yeah. Yes, please," she says weakly.
Amity nods and she sadly moves off of Luz again to lay beside her on the bed. She gets in nice and close and they tangle up into each other again, Luz's face buried in Amity's neck. She feels so small and useless as she leans into her girlfriend, feeling her fingers gently tracing her skin. She has got to get a grip on herself.
This isn't how it's supposed to be. She doesn't know what happened, one moment she was completely in control and now she's all melty and obsessed with her little girlfriend, clinging onto her for dear life and wanting nothing more than to just be close?
"The hell did you do to me?" Luz mumbles sulkily into her chest, pleasantly spent.
Amity giggles, and she sounds deliciously, evilly amused. "Hehe. Sorry. That might be sore for a few days."
It might be all that wine finally starting to catch up to her, but she thinks she likes the ache. She feels tingly and amorous when Amity tilts her chin up to tenderly kiss her lips, and Luz gladly returns it. "I missed you so much, babe," Amity whispers, their lips still close together.
"I'm sorry," Luz blurts out. It's weird because usually Amity is the one to apologize first. She's the one who begged to get back together. Not Luz. Never Luz. Amity pauses, pulling back slightly to look at her. "I didn't mean anything I said when we… when we broke up. I was just mad."
"I know. I was too." She kisses her again. "That's okay. Fights happen when you really love someone. It means we're normal."
Luz watches her for a second, unbelieving. "...We aren't…"
"Want to just pretend?"
Luz nods quickly. "Yeah, sure."
Amity giggles and kisses her softly, slipping a hand up the back of her neck. "Okay. Girlfriend."
"Fuck. We're so fucking doomed." She laughs along with her girlfriend, and they both become a bit hysterical. She ends up rolling on top of her, kissing roughly down her neck and pinning her to the bed underneath her. She bites down and sinks her teeth between her neck and shoulder, getting so worked up over Amity's little whines and moans. She sucks on her skin to get a hickey there as fast as possible, marking her territory on her girlfriend's body. "I can't think straight."
"Me too. I can't… I'm so…" Amity struggles for words.
They have sex again.
"Can you pull my hair while you fuck me?"
Luz is confused for a moment, and she sits up from her position to smooth her hand up the soft, warm skin of her back, taking a handful of minty green hair and wrapping it tightly around two fingers, tugging at it roughly. "Like this?"
"Yes, just like that," she breathes, her voice desperate. "Now fuck me."
Luz lets out a little laugh, amused at her girlfriend's urgency. "Okay. But why do you want me to pull your hair?" She asks teasingly to distract her, moving her hips forward and drawing back out to get herself on a steady rhythm again.
"I don't know," she whines. "It's so hot. I want you to hurt me."
"I'll hurt you then. Gladly." She tugs at her hair roughly again, yanking her head back, even if it was already falling back from the pleasure she was feeling.
"Fuck me harder. I need you to go harder."
She raises an eyebrow. "Harder?" She's confused because she knows she's not going to hear the end of it later, how sore she is from being fucked so hard.
"Yes. And faster. And pull my hair," she says sternly.
Luz sighs, rolling her eyes. She can't help but be endeared about it though. If her needy little girlfriend wanted to be sore in the morning, she'd give it to her. "Bossy," she sings-songs and pulls her hair much softer just to annoy Amity. She whines and just to shut her up, Luz starts to move her hips faster as per her request.
After a while, Amity starts to complain about it hurting, but she doesn't stop. This was what would make her sore, just like she asked. She keeps going and going, until she feels like she's going to collapse and when Amity starts to cry a little.
She pulls out and Amity falls onto her side, breathing heavily.
"You okay?"
Amity is quiet for a moment, sniffling and wiping away her tears. She nods, a watery smile. "It hurts so much."
Then sometime during the night, Luz ends up on the edge of the bed, Amity on her lap bouncing up and down with wild abandon. Luz is beyond exhausted but her girlfriend seemed like she was just getting started. The only thing she could do was hang onto her tightly, her earlobe caught between her teeth as Amity moans sweet little nothings, hanging onto the back of Luz's neck.
"Fuck, yesyesyes!" She whispers and her motions become jerky, her hips grind weakly and Luz sighs because her girlfriend is such a handful. She's glad she's having a good time, using her for that sweet, sweet pleasure. It goes quiet for a moment and Amity finally giggles quietly in her ear. "That was amazing," she says, her voice hoarse and raw from all the screaming she's done tonight. She nips weakly at Luz's neck, her breath heavy as she tries to get some air in her chest.
"You're so fucking hot," she sighs, falling back on the bed and Amity slowly pulls herself to climb off of the strap on, wincing when it hits a sore spot. "Tired yet?"
"Yes," she pants. "But I bet you must be so tense from having me on top of you like that?"
Luz inwardly sighs. Goodness, when does she plan on stopping tonight? Even if she was exhausted, Amity wasn't wrong. "Mhm," she swallows, feeling her girlfriend's hands working to unclip the strap on and pull it off of her waist. She hears it thump against the bed when Amity tosses it up, her mind going blank when she forces her legs open. She closes her eyes when Amity kneels down on the floor, standing on her knees between Luz's legs hanging off the bed.
"I can help with that, if you want." She offers casually, already slowly grazing her tongue gently over her wet entrance. And, how can she say no to that? She shivers, feeling her girlfriend's diligent mouth kissing her just below her pubic bone and then poking her tongue on the sensitive part at the top of her clit. Luz can't help but let out a cute little moan, clutching at the bedsheets because Amity is too low to reach. "Did you want me to?"
"Fuck. Yes, Blight."
"Good. This is what you deserve… fucking me so good all night." She hums and uses two fingers to spread her open, sticking her tongue deep inside. She laughs when Luz bucks her hips weakly, teasingly wiggling around before drawing back out again. She gives her a long, slow lick along her clit and presses her tongue to fold inside again. She keeps going like that, folding in and out and then stroking the outside with the tip of her tongue, swirling on the top of her clit and then folding back in at a slow and agonizing pace.
And Amity knows exactly what she's doing. It's slowly breaking Luz down and making her sound so desperate. She is not desperate for Amity, her gentle hand resting on her knee as she goes down on her girlfriend and making a fool of her. It's so hot when she has to reach up to tuck her hair back behind her ear, and the teasing suspense when she stops tormenting her sanity to wipe her mouth off because Luz is making such a mess on her like that.
"Does this feel good, my love?" She asks sweetly through Luz's panting, rolling her hips forward to feel Amity's mouth on her, deeper inside as far as she can go. Every inch of her burns with hot pleasure, that hopelessness pooling low in her stomach when her girlfriend pays some extra attention to one particular spot right where she knows it's unbearable. "Do you want me to keep going until you come?"
And, she can't exactly answer her as she does exactly that, crying out like a stupid idiot when she comes to her girlfriend's teasing, soft tongue, swirling in and out of her like that. She can't help herself. "Fuck," she breathes out.
"Did I do good?" She laughs and gives her another slow stroke all the way up to collect her sticky come, which is disgusting and just, ugh. But there's something so weirdly hot about Amity being so good and sitting down there, licking it off like the good girlfriend she is.
"I…" she says for lack of a better word. She's got nothing else to say. Nothing to add. She's utterly exhausted and feels like she could just die a happy woman now. She feels so happy, so proud of her girlfriend. But then Amity gets back up on bed and she watches Luz with a little smile on her face that exhausts her even more.
But she actually can't do it anymore. Amity watches her for a moment, biting her lip decisively. Then she leans down to kiss her, soft and sweet. It's delicate and ticklish like her pretty hair dangling in her face as they kiss, gentle like the hand she rests on her chest. She just… loves her so much.
Amity takes the liberty of slipping her tongue into Luz's mouth, and she can taste herself all over her girlfriend. She moans in shock, but it's mostly an off putting taste. Something about it is insanely hot though, and if her head was clear she might be able to tell. Amity decides to torment her with it, because she knows she's embarrassed about it. She makes sure their tongues touch and she swirls the taste onto hers, trails the tip of her tongue along her teeth and then pulls away with a wet kiss. "Do you taste yourself?" She asks playfully, their lips still close together.
Luz nods shyly. Why does she feel like this, so swooned under Amity? Why does she look like an angel, her messy hair and her pale, bare shoulders exposed just for her? Why is she so perfect, so simple in concept and yet she can't grasp the idea in her clouded mind that this girl is hers?
She reaches a hand up to gently cup her pretty face, feeling her soft, warm skin. She's so real and bright and perfect. She's here, and she's really, really good. She's so pretty. "You look cute." Luz says, a lopsided grin on her face. The words tumbled out before she could stop herself, but she was happy it did because the smile it got out of Amity was perfect and worth it.
"Thank you," she giggles and presses forward for another kiss, she hums happily into it. "Mmm, you taste good, babe. I want more of you." She says after pulling away, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Luz's heart dips with fear and excitement.
"I'm too exhausted," she complains, but it doesn't deter Amity.
Instead, she gives her another sweet kiss and strokes her collarbone gently. "There's this thing I wanted to try…"
"Amity—"
Without a word, Amity moves and she climbs on top of Luz, except that her butt is hovering deliciously over her face, and she feels her hand resting on her midriff. Luz knows exactly where this is going. She pouts, tired and aching and ready to sleep but her little girlfriend is still going at it. Begrudgingly, she sticks her tongue out and drags it quickly over her sex. She whimpers, carefully lowering down to actually sit on her face. "Just like that, baby," she hums, gratifying and frisky, and Luz wonders does she ever run out of steam?
Either way, she continues to eat her girlfriend out, sucking harshly on her clit and swirling her tongue around in between her folds, trying her best to pleasure her like this. She feels rewarded when she feels her starting to slowly rut her hips against her tongue, rolling and squirming under the sensation. She lets out a strained whimper, one low, continuous breathy moan. "Yeah baby, don't stop," she rasps, pressing herself down to push her tongue deeper. Luz laughs into her a little, absentmindedly grabbing her thigh and stroking it gently. "Please, please. You're so beautiful. You're so amazing."
She wants to say I love you, but she can't really speak much with a mouthful of her cute little girlfriend. She was practically suffocating with her girlfriend sitting on her face, but who needed oxygen when she had Amity's soft, sweet little clit to suck on, so dutifully like it's her day job? She moans, her jaw starting to hurt with the straining of her tongue as she flicks and pokes and tastes her girlfriend in all the different spots, seemingly endless reactions.
"Careful," Amity stammers and jerkily grinds her hips against each slow stroke of Luz's tongue, her voice shaky. "If you keep going like that, I'll come all over your face."
In response, Luz grabs a handful of her soft, firm butt and squeezes tightly, spreading her open to stick her tongue deeper inside of her tight sex, thrusting her tongue in and out quickly. Amity moans loudly. "Fuck, yes, yes, yes." She squeaks. "Keep doing it like that. Don't stop," Luz feels her hand trace down her stomach and shamelessly between her legs, and she circles tightly over her clit. She doesn't think she can possibly come again, but it still feels incredibly good and she can't help but let out a little moan.
She feels Amity press lightly on her clit, and then slips down to finger fuck her at a matching pace that she licks her to. She hears her girlfriend whining and babbling sweet nothings as she bounces lightly on her face. " Oh yes, fuck. Yes yesyes," she hums delightedly, her voice going high pitched and Luz wants to laugh because she's so cute. She tastes more of her girlfriend's come and she loves it because it's from her. She wants all of Amity.
Amity eventually crawls off, weakly collapsing on the bed beside her. She stares blankly at the ceiling, panting and trying to catch her breath. She laughs after a moment, turning on her side and reaching over to wipe Luz's mouth with the back of her hand. "I made such a mess," she says quietly, biting her lip. "I'm sorry, my love,"
"It's okay. It's more than okay, it's—,"
"Shh," she cuts her off, pressing a finger to her lips to silence her. She shifts closer, smiling shyly before kissing her deeply. "You really know how to work that tongue. What else could you do with it?" She asks hotly.
"Nothing else tonight," Luz grumbles and pulls her in for another kiss. After a while of them just shamelessly making out, sloppy and drunken and happy, Luz pushes Amity slightly away just enough to break the kiss. A fog passes through her head, and she stares confusedly at Amity's lips for a comically long time. "How… how is your lipstick still perfect?"
Amity giggles and kisses her again before tracing her tongue slowly over Luz's lips. "It's sex proof."
"Hot." She nips at Amity's bottom lip and bites down hard, causing her girlfriend to yelp. "I'm tired. Wanna go to sleep?"
"Hm, okay. But I wanted to have more wine."
" More?"
Amity nods, anxiously biting her lip again. "Is that alright?"
Luz sighs. "Of course, hermosa,"
They stumble back into the living room together after having put on some clothes and Amity pours herself another glass of wine while Luz drinks water. They're both leaning against the counter in the dark, the bright moonlight filtering through into the kitchen. Amity hugs Luz from the side, resting her face on her shoulder. "Happy Valentine's Day, my love," she says quietly and kisses her cheek.
"Oh, yeah. That's today isn't it?" She giggles, turning to kiss her girlfriend on the forehead. "I got chocolates, for you."
"Really?"
"Mhm," she pulls away to take the stupid heart shaped box out of the fridge and she sets it on the counter to pull the lid off. "Eat one."
Amity giggles after sipping her wine, lifting up on her tiptoes to kiss Luz's face again. "I appreciate it baby. But you know I don't eat sweets."
Luz slouches. "Come on. It's good for you. These ones are my favorite," She says, picking up a square shaped chocolate with caramel inside. Amity eyes it with a renewed interest, and she is suddenly ready to try it. Luz feeds it to her slowly and when she finally finishes it, she hums with delight. "Is it good?" She smiles, licking her fingers where some of the chocolate had melted.
"Delicious," she nods, absentmindedly sucking on her lip while watching Luz. She blinks with the sudden realization and she gets a sly grin on her face, gently licking her fingers. Amity whimpers. "Stop being so hot," she complains.
Luz just laughs and tugs her girlfriend in by the hips. They kiss gently, Luz tasting the sweet caramel on her girlfriend's warm tongue. It's better than the real thing, somehow.
She's going to propose to her.
