C
Things go on well, if you can consider anything
with the circumstances. But Amity is happy with it. And she guessed that was all that mattered.
Sometimes Luz wonders what happened to herself. She was never like this. She was never this type of person.
She wanted to prove that she was a good person. That was the point of all this. To prove to Amity that she was good, and fun, and worth knowing.
At least, that's what it was at first, for a brief moment. She thought she could kill her with kindness. She thought everything would be okay between them, and they could be friends while they worked on the show.
And, things like that happened all the time. It wasn't unnatural for there to be someone at work who doesn't like you— let alone make a show of it. It's just that most people didn't take it as far as Luz did.
She doesn't know why she let it get to her.
She was just a stupid kid when it all happened, and she guessed that's when she was most insecure. She didn't like people's opinions on her, and especially not Amity's. It kept her up at night that Amity didn't like her. Bothered her that she was hated by someone.
Maybe if she were a bit older when it happened, it would have never come to this. Maybe she wouldn't have been so incompetent with feelings if she were more understanding. Maybe she would have just learned to let it go. Let her go. Because they were just stupid kids.
But, it's been a considerable amount of time since then. Since it all started. And Luz doesn't know the difference now. Everything's been the same. Her and Amity have become so futile. Even Luz thinks about this relationship and has internalized the irony of it, the pure pettiness and stupidity that plagues it every day.
She's in love with Amity. She feels like they've come so far together. She can't imagine not being with her, not waking up next to her. Not feeling her body against hers, kissing her softly. She doesn't want to stop. She feels like they're bound together by fate, and their destiny is to be together, or something like that. They were made for each other, to make each other worse.
She thinks maybe, they made each other like this. Luz made Amity a pathetic slut, and Amity made Luz a maniacal control freak. This is just the way they are, and neither of them really want it to change. It's their normal now. It's definitely a problem, but one they are not willing to fix. Amity cries like she doesn't have a choice, Luz feels tired like she couldn't just leave her tonight if she wanted.
They had a choice. They
stop.
But… this was more fun.
Luz sits up in bed, the sun shining freshly into the bedroom from the window. And that's how she knows they're late for work by a few minutes. Maybe an hour. It was fine, though. They stayed up so late last night, going at it like they wouldn't have to wake up early the next day.
Luz is naked. Somehow it surprises her every morning, but it's been so long. Amity persuades her every time.
She feels sore everywhere. It sucks, kind of.
She looks at her precious Amity, sees her fast asleep. Her pretty green hair, so messy because she's absolutely out of control. She's wild. Luz can't really believe it, how she ended up like this with her. Her coworker that she met when she was seventeen, the girl that she argued with everyday. She just can't. It's kinda funny.
But Amity is pretty when she's sleeping, and Luz hates to disturb her. She looks so peaceful. Her lips are slightly swollen and her neck has… so many hickeys. It's funny to her, just the fact that they're there, and that Amity probably enjoys it. It's a weird kind of rush she gets when Luz wants to hurt her, and cause her pain, only to find that Amity is begging for it too. She's a psychopath. Fucking freak.
But that's why Luz loves her. They're partners in crime, and Amity is always down for anything, anytime. It's incredibly, terribly enabling.
She has little goosebumps along her creamy pale skin, her perfect body. Her nipples are so cute, so small. The cover is wrapped around her waist, but Luz imagines anyway the cute little hair between her legs, an alluring sign of her stolen innocence.
No, that's not right. Amity's
innocent. They're both at fault. Both in trouble. Both in the wrong.
Luz quietly groans, rubbing her tired eyes. Thinks to herself,
Guess she grew up.
And this is normal adult stuff, right? Sex, alcohol, addiction and toxic relationships. This is
life, and it's a pleasant hell. She partly wants to blame Amity, for ruining her as a person. Maybe any stupid vices she had at one point. She'll never be the same. If Luz is just an evil control freak, that's what she is and there's no point in ever trying to change that. Her life is ruined. Now she just wants to have fun ruining Amity's.
She reaches out to brush a hand lightly through her hair, wanting to wake her up softly. She smiles gently when her girlfriend stirs awake, nuzzling her hand as it comes down to cup her cheek. She also smiles, but it somehow doesn't reach her eyes.
Amity sits up slowly, staring blankly at the stained bedsheets for a moment, her mind still groggy. She stretches her arms over her head, yawning and arching her back, creating a guilty, desirable sight for Luz to behold. "Morning, slut," she teases affectionately, even if the pet name is completely fitting for her in Luz's mind.
"I'm
slut," she says sweetly, scooting close to Luz in bed and leaning her head on her chest. Luz pats her back, hugging her close. She kisses the top of her head, making Amity moan contentedly.
They sit in comfortable silence for a moment until Amity looks up at her, and Luz is lost in thought until she kisses the underside of her chin. "You okay?" She asks quietly.
"I'm fine." She sighs, and it's not final. Something in her is unsettled, uncomfortable almost. She's fine with waking up like this every morning, but she doesn't feel right about it. She's guilty for being the one with mixed up feelings, after everything she'd put Amity through. But she feels committed to the relationship now, and it's her responsibility to feel bad about it along with her girlfriend. Still, she says, "This isn't right, Amity."
Amity is quiet, like a silent agreement. "I know," she says softly, regret in her voice. She only cuddles closer and Luz feels her soft skin against hers, rubbing together in places that make her mind foggy. They're practically just two people without dignity, shamelessly and (mostly) consentedly using each other for sex and whatever the hell else it is that makes them want to stay.
She traps Luz in a passionate kiss, although it's at a very uncomfortable angle. It's just that love has no boundaries, she guesses. Not
love. Not their false, poisonous, terrible love.
But Amity becomes impatient and she puts a firm hand to Luz's chest to push her down on the bed, so that she can cuddle closer and kiss her comfortably. They make out hotly like that, naked and convicted and late for work. Amity holds Luz's face gently, pressing their chests flush against each other. And, Luz likes it more than she can internally admit. She just likes her girlfriend's body. That's all.
She pulls away slightly, slowly but playfully tracing her index finger down to Luz's chest. "I know this is not right. It never has been. It never will be." She says matter-of-factly, and there's a stern edge to her voice that Luz can't place. Her eyes still sparkle with that devious glint in her eyes, so she can't be too concerned.
I want to say this one more time."
Luz whispers daringly, playfully to match Amity's little game.
She leans forward again and she presses a deep kiss to Luz's lips again, slipping down smartly to catch her bottom lip in between her teeth, biting down rather roughly. She hadn't expected it, being so dead set on getting some sort of validation for their shitty relationship. Instead, she is met with an alluring pain, and Luz calmly sucks in a deep breath through her nose to soothe the pain, delighted to feel when her girlfriend swipes her tongue over the injury.
Luz is speechless as Amity kisses her
and this time it's soft and sweet.
Really, there's nothing left for her to say.
"I want to keep fucking." She says crudely, gives her another kiss—and Luz lets it happen, breathlessly. "I want to keep kissing you. I want to keep doing this. I want to be with you, baby." She watches her for a moment. "Do
want to keep doing this?"
"Yes," she rushes to say incredulously. She pulls Amity in with a hand on her face for a deep kiss and she moans into it, hanging onto Luz's shoulder. "It's all fine if we both admit that it's wrong. That
wrong."
"That makes it a thousand times better, yes." They try to keep straight faces, watching each other until they burst out laughing. They accidentally butt heads, and Luz hisses, reaching up to hold her pounding forehead. "I'm sorry, my love," she giggles apologetically and pulls her hand away to kiss warmly on somehow the exact right spot, and even if it's cheesy and fucking stupid, she thinks,
The pain, and their future together.
—
She's happy that this is starting to go somewhere, finally. It's been so long and Amity's done a lot. She doesn't know why. Just to appeal to her, to make
think everything's cool.
But, Luz knows that everything is
cool. She knows it's bad. And that comforts Amity somehow. It makes their nights out together much more fun, makes their kisses that much sweeter, makes the sex this much hotter every time. It's more fun to be aware of an issue that they weren't planning to fix, like running away from their problems was only just a fun game.
It made the stinging cold of the night that much more exciting than unbearable, but Amity knows she could stand it if Luz wanted to run through it instead. Mostly, her problem is that she's a slave to Luz and her crazy antics. A curious girl she is. Amity fell for her trap, willingly tangling herself deeper. She's interested to see what Luz might do next. She remembers now, what originally drew her in, what initially made it so hard to pull away.
What would Luz get them into next?
They're sitting in some bar in the middle of Los Angeles. It's the big, touristy part, and Amity would never come here on a normal day. Especially not this late at night.
She's exhausted from work, pretending to be someone she's not in front of hot lights and cameras for hours on end. But even more than that, she thinks Luz might take her somewhere fun after this. The fun was a plus, but Luz was the main attraction.
She's going on about something so very animatedly, currently on her fourth shot. Amity's paying the least bit of attention to what she might be talking about, because goodness knows
and she could literally be talking about anything. Amity just doesn't have the energy for that.
So how can Amity not know what she means but be paying so much close attention to the little things, like the neon fluorescent lights from the bar reflecting off of Luz's pretentious leather jacket, the way her beanie sits so perfectly on her head, like she'd mastered the art of messy hair equals attractiveness, the way her voice becomes like music to her ears whenever she gets drunk because all she wants is to know her, to feel her, to be with her.
Amity eagerly sips her drink, desperate to be in her world and to understand every joke, to say yes to every absurd question. She still doesn't like alcohol, but admittedly, that's the reason she drinks it. And, she likes to be drunk if it's with Luz. She likes to be transported to a completely new headspace, to see life from this new perspective with her.
Her go-to is a margarita, and if not that then it's just tequila shots like Luz. She doesn't really care, as long as she's wasted by the time they're finished. This relationship just hurts so badly, but to Amity, it means so much. It's all she has. She has to keep hurting. So she chases it and follows it with everything she has, no matter what.
It's obvious. She's a sucker for Luz. She'd follow her to the edge of a volcano, the end of the earth, wherever she wanted. In the dark of the night, under a fluorescent glow, here she is, drunk as hell and giggling at whatever stupid shit Luz said. They know each other. They're good friends. They're lovers. They're sticking together. They're familiar, and they're really, really turned on. They may have slightly different ways of showing affection though. But Amity didn't care.
Besides, she hadn't done all this for nothing.
It's all in a rush of billboards and flashing lights and a pounding, pulsating headache, but for some reason, now Luz is leading her somewhere down this busy sidewalk in this dangerous city. Luz is running as fast as she can, but Amity's wearing heeled boots and trying to keep up because—no matter what, she'll follow the love of her life anywhere. Say the word and she'd go anywhere blindly. She's the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside her brain. She can't get enough and she's
stopping.
So despite the throbbing, devastating ache in her ankles, her pounding head, she holds Luz's hand tighter and chases her into the night with everything she's got. She's a sucker for it, and everything Luz stands for. She's been to so many places, dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars, who knows what she'd do next. All she can feel is her hair rustling with the wind, her hand in Luz's, and her heart racing in her chest, ill with the excitement of where they might be going or what they might be doing.
They push past annoyed LA locals, past bustling buildings and rushing cars in a maze-like street, like the streets of New York. Amity never knew it could be so beautiful. She never knew it could be so cold, so perfect despite its imperfections, it's dirty roads and its obnoxious advertisements, homeless tents and solicitors, but all she can feel is Luz tugging her along, feels herself stumbling over her own feet. She's so fucked. She's so damned because of this girl.
But she follows her. "Keep up, bitch!" Luz screams teasingly over the wind, stuffing her phone back into her pocket. She says there's a marina near here and she wants to go swimming. Amity isn't deterred, and she determinedly picks up her pace to be slightly beside Luz now, because no matter how fast she goes, Luz is faster.
"I love you a lot!" She huffs, out of breath but not stopping for anything, pushing her legs harder to match Luz's sprint, dodging the passerby, clutching her hand tighter. "I'll follow you anywhere, Luzita,"
"Love you too, princess," she says and winks back, which does wonders to Amity, enough to make her stumble again. But it turns her on more, making her want to go faster. The adrenaline is intense, and everything's burning. She knows her entire body is going to hurt like hell in the morning, but this is worth it a million times again and again. Amity realizes the ridiculousness of this and throws her head back to scream as they run along, probably looking like a maniac to anyone watching.
She doesn't care.
Eventually, they come across the marina that Luz briefly mentioned, and it's prettier than Amity imagined. It's like the edge of the city, the payoff after all of that bustling busyness. The entrance is farther off, but Luz and Amity are mostly broke, so instead of entering they stand at the gate and look out onto the vast man-made body of pitch dark water, guarded by a sturdy metal rail-gate.
Besides, Luz could go swimming here if she really wanted to.
Luz is doubled over with exhaustion from running all the way here, panting to catch her breath. Amity stands close to her with a hand resting on her back as she looks out into the big, open sky. It twinkles with small specks of stars and tall buildings far off, all the way on the other side of the marina, miles away from here. She would run there if Luz asked her to. The sky is so dark, so mysterious. There's something so theatrical and romantic about it that Amity feels like she's in one of those teen-romance flicks for real.
"We made it," she thinks idly, walking up to rest on the gate, looking down into the black water to match the sky. Luz joins her, wrapping an arm around her waist and tugging her in. "It's so pretty…"
"You're prettier," Luz says cheaply, but for Amity, it works. With a racing heart, she looks up at her girlfriend to find that lopsided grin on her face. That knowing, charming one. It's so hard not to— be pulled in by it. Suddenly, Luz turns to push Amity against the gate, pressing up firmly against her. Amity's breath hitches, slightly panicked because of her irrational fear that she might tumble over the rail and fall into the ice cold water.
"I… love you. So much." She says breathlessly, wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling her in to press closer, causing Amity to back into the railing, and it digs uncomfortably into her skin through her clothes. But she doesn't care because Luz tugs her in by the hips, their bodies close as can be like electric shock. She tilts her head back slightly and brushes their lips together, feeling the warmth of Luz on her.
"I'll give you a little taste then," she says sultrily, and it's fucking stupid, but to Amity it's the most genius, sexiest thing ever. She loves her Luz so much. She leans forward and finally, hungrily traps her lips in a deep kiss, and through everything, somehow it becomes a fight for dominance, right here at this place in the middle of who knows where, out in the open in an area devoid of other people. Somehow in this busy, lively city, they'd found themselves alone.
She wouldn't have it any other way.
In Amity's brain, this is the hottest movie kiss, perfect and passionate and romantic and calculated. But in actuality, it's very sloppy and wet, the manifestation of their weird attraction to each other. It's carnal and rough, and still the most romantic moment of her life, ever. Luz breaks the kiss to take Amity's bottom lip between her teeth and she bites it roughly, slowly running her tongue over it afterwards.
Amity moans and struggles to keep in time with this kiss, reaching back to hold onto the rail to steady herself as Luz pushes her closer to the edge. Their tongues dance, and she feels the warmth and tastes the bitterness of tequila on her, feels the hotness of her breath on her lips when she says,
in such a commanding way that Amity can't even argue. It's the worst idea in the history of ideas, but it's obvious that she's a sucker for Luz and if she says the word, she'd do anything blindly.
So, Amity Blight drunkenly and distractedly lifts up to sit on the rail as Luz kisses her still, and it's successful.
Now Luz can stand between her legs and she can kiss her even better from this slightly higher vantage point. This
a good idea. See?
She holds the back of her neck and
kisses Luz now, because she's the best thing ever. If anyone were to walk by, they'd see the two most terrible girls ever, making out like it's their day job. But anyone walking by would know their day job anyway, so that'd be a bit weird. It's okay. All that matters is her girlfriend's hands traveling her body, right here in this open, public location. She traces slowly down her inner thigh, up to hold her breast through all of this stupid clothing, back down to rest on her waist that was made for Luz to hold her there.
All the subliminal things that no one knows about her. Luz Noceda, Disney Channel's top star. Who knew she was such an adrenaline junkie, kissing girls and drinking alcohol? Hah. Life is funny. She's so different. Amity wants to be the only one to see this side of her, so crazy and out of control. This is the best night ever.
Luz breaks off again to trail kisses down her neck, and Amity whines because she's desperately horny for her. She clutches her hair and sways for her balance on the rail, completely unaware of the danger it might be to actually fall. "Wanna go swimming?" Luz asks between kisses.
"No. It's too cold." She says breathlessly, disappointed that her girlfriend has stopped giving her any more love. Luz groans and pulls away to stand beside her in front of the rail. "What are you doing, baby girl? Get back here and fuck me." She pouts.
"No. I wanna… I
to go swimming," she pulls her jacket off and hastily tosses it to the ground. Amity slightly panics, jumping off the rail to pick it up and slip it over her own shoulders because she's a sucker for anything Luz. Speaking of which, she is climbing over the rail and already has a leg over the other side and her shoe is slightly dipped in the water.
"What are you doing?!" Amity tugs her arm to stop her from fully jumping in, something at the back of her foggy mind telling her that they shouldn't do this.
"I'm going for a swim,
Come with me?" She smirks, reaching out to pull her in by the face. Amity stumbles forward and leans up to meet Luz's puckered lips, and they kiss lazily.
"I can't. We shouldn't."
"Why not, princess?"
She blinks, standing on the fine line of why or why not. Luz always makes her question easy things. She… she
this was bad. But now she can't really remember why. If she thought it was bad, then it must be bad, because why else would her brain push that to the forefront? She just can't think straight, at all. Because she's not straight. She's really gay for Luz. "You'll catch a cold! And we could get arrested!" She holds her hand tighter and tries to pull back, stepping away.
"Me? Get arrested?" She snorts. "Nah. I didn't do anything wrong. Why would I get arrested?"
"This… this could be illegal. I don't want you to get hurt. Get down. From there. Now," she demands softly. "Please."
Luz sighs, looking down and deciphering it for a moment. "Fine," she grunts and climbs back down off of the rail.
"Good girl," Amity pulls her into a hug. "I love you. Let's go home."
The walk back to the bar is less than thrilling, because they're both exhausted, having run all that restless energy out. But Amity's still got a spring in her step as they trek down the seemingly endless windy roads and streets. At least they have each other.
Even if she's twenty now, she still feels like a little kid. She feels like a cry baby who needs correcting. She needs her mom. She wishes she were normal. What even is her life?
She guessed, maybe it doesn't matter if she has Luz so close, resting on her as they stumble down the stupid street, past open shops and busy bars with this glowing feeling in her chest. It's fine. This is cool.
"We're really bad for each other…" Amity notes idly, pretending that she's jumping over the cracks in the sidewalk as they stumble along. It's so cold out now, like the temperature had dropped even more than when they first came. Luckily, Luz has gallantly let her keep her jacket on—either that or she hasn't realized it yet. She likes to avoid the latter. But she's holding on tight to her, because she's finally got her for a little while and it's incredible.
"I wish you would stop saying that, bitch." Luz groans and pinches Amity's ear rather roughly. She whimpers quietly at the pleasantly unpleasant sensation, wishing with everything she has that she'd do it again.
"Why?"
"
I know. I know we're shitty as hell. But we've already
She takes a deliberate and daringly wide step and ends up almost falling down, but Amity's got enough brain power to wrap her arms around her waist and pull her back up, steady on her feet. "Thanks." She says breathlessly. "I mean, what do you wanna,"
"What do you want me to do? Do you wanna break up?"
"No. No, no, no, no!" Amity rushes to say, begging. She bounds all her weight on helplessly drunk Luz and makes her sway for her balance. They trudge on down the road. "I want you to stay. Let's just stay together forever. Okay? That's final."
"Okay. Fine. I don't care."
"Well act like it, because I'm tired of being the only one concerned about our shit."
"What do you want me to do?" She groans exaggeratedly. Amity feels slightly put on the spot whenever she says that, and she feels guilty for not having an answer.
"Would you stop asking me that?" Amity glares at her, and very angrily slaps her stupid idiot face. Luz just whines, which is a relief and a disappointment for Amity. She kind of wishes she punished her for that. "I don't have to be responsible for how you behave. You should
to be good for me."
"I don't know. I can't think straight. Stop being such an annoying bitch for one second?" She presses a finger to her lips, and Amity almost goes cross-eyed trying to look at it. "Just shut up about that for now. Let's just talk about it when we're not fucking drunk."
And, anyways. It's not like they have any
answers to give each other, no matter what time of day it is or what they've been drinking.
and that's the bottom line.
They eventually make it back to the bar's parking lot, and Luz thinks Amity is mad at her, so she opens the car door for her and shuts it behind her like a real knight in shining armor.
"I'm sorry. I'm too embarrassed for this," Luz stammers, starting the car and snapping in her seatbelt. "I'll do anything you want."
Amity bites her lip, looking down. "I want
She reaches out her hand and laces her fingers with hers. They look longingly at each other for a weird, fuzzy moment, but Amity feels it.
They're back home, thankful to Luz's exceptionally subpar driving skills for being as drunk as she is. They're, of course, making out on the bed, but Luz's hand is already in her pants, low in her panties. This is the best thing ever, kissing and being fingered to the point of an orgasm. She's so close, moaning and rocking her hips into the touch, so desperately broken for Luz. It's futile.
Their kiss is more like a conversation, and they're talking it out. They're getting somewhere… but not far. But it's felt extremely successful for Amity to win dominance, over that part at least. Luz stops fingering her to pull away before she can come, which is disappointing more than she can show because her mind is a puddle of mush.
"You get everything so easy in life," Luz says irritably as she's kissing her neck softly. Amity breathes, holding onto her hair.
"What?" She asks confusedly, because, did she miss something?
"Everything is just handed to you, all the time. You get a perfect body, a nice house, money, pretty hair. It's not fair to people like me."
"Baby, I earned everything I have. I'm not any more special than you." Her eyes water. "I'm yours. You can have everything. Take it. I don't want it. It's yours."
"I don't want any of your stupid shit," she grumbled, biting her skin. "I want you to work for something for
in your life. Work before I let you come."
"Okay, fine," she says breathlessly, excited at the idea of what she might mean by that.
Luz gets off of the bed to stand up, and starstruck, Amity follows her. She aggressively grabs a fistful of minty green hair and pushes her down on the floor to her knees. Her legs scrape with a loud
against the carpet, but she doesn't give less of a fuck.
All that matters is this moment, just her and her girlfriend in the privacy and comfort of each other. This is their secret little moment, and no one can ever know. All Luz has to do is say the word, and Amity will be there. They're better than anything, everything that ever mattered before to her is meaningless now, because this is her life. It's perfect.
She shifts to sit somewhat comfortably on her knees, as comfortable as she can get in such a compromising position. It's such a bother that she's still fully clothed, but the thing happening in front of her makes up for it.
She hungrily watches Luz as she reaches down to unbutton her own pants, slipping them down along with her panties.
She grabs Amity roughly by the hair again and pushes her face forward. Eagerly, she strokes her girlfriend's sex against her tongue with two tentative flicks, poking the top of her clit. Amity pants with unbelievable arousal, trembling with excitement coursing through her body. "I'll work hard. I'll gladly do this, babe. Anytime," she says desperately, pressing a fervent kiss right on her center.
"G—good. Hands behind your back," she demands shakily and grabs Amity's hair tighter, pushing her in closer. She is quick to obey and holds her hands together behind her back, pleased and delighted to carry out her girlfriend's wishes. She's being used for pleasure, being put to such good use. She's so happy, trails a long, shaky lick up the center of her girlfriend, all the way to the top only to go back down and start all over again.
"Is this good?" She huffs, swirling her tongue over her clit again, parting her sex with a desirable force, just wanting to taste her girlfriend everywhere. Everything and everywhere is Luz, Luz, Luz, and she feels her hand tangled up in her hair, has to adjust to new angles as she rocks her hips over her face. For each movement, Amity is there to combat it with her tongue, dancing delicately against her soft folds. She knows Luz is enjoying this, no matter how much she denies it, denies her.
Besides, she hears her whines, hears her trying to hold herself back. But she wants to hear her voice. She wants to feel her and taste her and make her feel good. She needs validation for her hard work, so she gently folds her tongue to push inside her again. When she unfolds deep inside again, the tip of her tongue touches a warm, sensitive area. She knows because Luz is unable to hold in her cry and she slightly writhes against the unbearable, intense sensation of someone so relentlessly in love with her. She knows that, and it only makes this that much better, this much sexier for how wrong it is, how bad they are for each other.
"Fuck, Amity. You're so good. Fuck," she grunts, panting. Amity hums in gratitude, smiling into her girlfriend's dripping wet sex as she deeply eats her out, obnoxiously poking her tongue and sucking gently on her clit, tasting the sweetness of this person who ruined her life. To her, going down on Luz is an odd thing. On one hand, she's got something vulnerable about her like this, but Amity can't exactly figure out what. On the other, Luz is almost unreachable. She can't get through to her at any time of the day, no less when they're having sex. It's frustrating, and it's where part of where her loving aggression comes from—the other ways she shows affection.
Amity's getting hot now, listening to the loud, lewd noises of Luz's misery is starting to make her own clit ache with a devastating desire to be returned the favor. She would do anything right now to have Luz inside of her, eating her out and touching her body, taking advantage of her, bruising her. Her hands twitch behind her back to reach down and pleasure herself, but she would never disobey the love of her life. So she stays in position and waits patiently, taking Luz with long, slow licks, filling her role as a sex object and lets Luz rut her face until she can't anymore.
There's a weird pause from her as Amity's being the obedient pet she is and licks up the sticky, sweet come that she caused on her girlfriend's sex, partaking and savoring the absolute absurdity of this, spreading it around her mouth, swallowing it. Then suddenly, Luz groans, grabs her hair again and yanks her head back. Amity yelps, her neck aching from the abrupt movement. "Stop being a slut," she says with no real consequence in her voice, which only makes Amity want it more.
"I want to pleasure you," she whimpers, trying to come back between her legs but Luz has got a strong enough grip to pull her hair out. She pushes anyway, her eyes watering from the sting of her scalp. Luz yanks her back roughly again and with her other hand, pulls her pants back up and clips the button. "Let me please you, my love. I'm happy to do it. You can use me!"
Luz looks down confusedly at her. "You worked hard enough," she slurs, kneeling down to be eye level with her on the ground. Amity bites her lip, hesitantly unsure. They stare at each other for an odd moment and Luz finally reaches up to tuck a loose strand of pretty green hair behind her girlfriend's ear, and she affectionately cups her face, sucking idly on her own lip. "You're a good girl, aren't you?" She grins lazily.
Amity nods eagerly.
"So good and so… hard working," she leans in and kisses her softly while Amity leans in closer to deepen it. "You really drove me crazy with that tongue."
Amity watches her eagerly, ready for anything. She playfully flicks her tongue over Luz's lips, moaning when she traps her in another passionate kiss, this time with more tongue than she could ever hope for. "I was made for this," she says breathlessly.
"You're right," her voice is reassuring, and she ominously rises to stand up again. Her hands clutch tightly on her shoulders and she jerks Amity to stand back up as well. She rushes to comply, shuffling to her wobbling feet. Luz's grip slips down to her waist, holding her tight with both hands, and it's hot and possessive when she pushes her against the bed. She deliberately stumbles back, falling clumsily onto the plush mattress, opens her legs so that maybe Luz might pull her pants off and take her out of her misery.
But instead, she pats the edge of the bed. "Sit on your knees here."
Amity swallows, sitting up again and watching nervously as Luz pulls her own shirt off. "Okay, babe. I'll do anything you want," she shuffles to the edge of the bed, but she's disappointed because her clothes are still on. She doesn't know if it will affect anything, but she pulls her shirt off as well and is pleased when Luz doesn't punish her for it. "Like this?"
"Yeah, just like that," she praises so very generously, turning Amity on to a concerning extent with just her words. She comes up to the bed to press against Amity, her face meeting just above her stomach. She places soft butterfly kisses there, walks a hand up to hook on her bra at the front. "You're so perfect and pretty."
"I love you," is all she can say, lovesick like a puppy. She wraps her arms around her neck and rocks softly into the touch of her soft lips, her loving words.
"You're my pretty little princess. Just for me." She smoothly unhooks her bra with a flattened hand around her back, Amity gasps when it falls away. Finally, yes, yes. Luz gives her nipple a long, satisfying lick, laughing when Amity cries out. "What? You like that?"
"Yes," she pulls Luz in by her hair, swooning under her soft tongue, her warm mouth, her nipple pinched between her teeth. "I love it. I'm yours, baby."
"You
mine. You're a
good girl, too. Tell me who you belong to." She grabs a handful of her other breast, squeezing tightly in her hand, playing her like an instrument. She lets go to trace down and rest gently on her rocking hips, rolling to cope with the sensations she's making her feel. There's something so special about this, being treated by her girlfriend. She feels so feminine, so small and beautiful and taken care of.
That's why she has no problem saying,
And there's nothing better than this. Luz is the pain and also the medicine, the curse and the cure. She couldn't leave if she wanted. Without Luz, it hurts. With Luz, it hurts. She can't escape her. So she lets her pull her pants down, shove her panties aside. She takes her sweet nothings, her index and middle fingers gently massaging her clit. It's such a small part of her, but why is this feeling ground-shattering? Why is this what makes her stomach dip, makes her sure that she's never wanted anyone more in her entire life?
How could she give this up? This person who knows her body so well, knows exactly how to pleasure her. She's familiar. She's close. So accessible. She loves her so much, it hurts.
—-
"You're always so sentimental after sex," she points out quietly and pulls Amity's leg around her waist, pulling her face closer to her chest. Amity accepts it as easily as anything else, dissolving under Luz's arms and closing her eyes. She sighs dreamily, shakily wrapping her arms around her back. "What's that about?"
She feels stupid and convicted, and Luz already knows. She'd told her this so many times. "...It makes me realize just how much I love and want you… all over again," she trembled, curling up into a ball and yearning desperately for Luz's touch. "And that I don't know what I'll do if I lose you."
"Why would you lose me?"
"You'd get bored of me and leave for some other girl." She squeezes her eyes shut tight, hurt in her voice. "I can't
the thought of you ever being with someone else like this. It makes me so… miserable. And it's been… so long. It's been four years and I still haven't gotten over you. The way I feel is the same."
"You're really insane," Luz sighs and is quiet for a little while. She laced her fingers with Amity's and kissed her forehead gently. "Let's just be honest. This is getting old, isn't it?"
"Y—yes," she dares to admit, stewing in her regret while Luz kisses her again.
"This is tiring. We're both really tired of it."
"...But I'm stuck. It's me. I'm the problem." She finishes quietly.
The silence this time is expectant, and Luz pauses before saying something. She pulls Amity
as if to comfort herself. She feels her chin resting gently on her head, and it's a weirdly intimate feeling considering the circumstances— because Amity feels confused, but Luz seems to know exactly what she wants to say.
"Listen, Amity…" she says softly, her voice just above a whisper. It almost scares her, the ambiguity of it. So she cuddles closer to brace herself for whatever it might be. She then feels her girlfriend's hand running gently through her hair, and she is hit with a wash of euphoria, feels so lucky and special under the gentle strokes of her fingers.
"What is it, my love?"
"You know that I'm… stuck, too. I'm… addicted to the sex," she bites her lip anxiously. "I'm addicted to
I can't just… I wouldn't just leave. If that's what you think. It's not easy for me like it used to be."
"Easy... easy like
She asks, slightly bitter.
"Yeah. At least, thinking about it. I thought I didn't care about you before. Like maybe, I
leave if I wanted to. But I can't. Not now."
Amity looks away, even if Luz can't see her, and her eyes fill with tears. "Then… I guess we're equal."
"...Yeah. I… I guess so."
She lets out a little laugh, and it's halfway hysterical, halfway miserable. "We're really in love with each other, aren't we?"
"Yeah…?"
"I'm glad." she reaches up to wipe a tear from her eye. "I want us to be together forever. I just want us to be normal. I just want us to be happy. I just wish… we could stay together."
"But you know that this has to end soon, don't you?" She asks sternly.
"I—I know. …But, I don't want to be in a relationship if it's not with you. You're all I know and… you've ruined me, babe."
"We're both ruined. It's your fault, for… for enabling me. You always let me get away with so much shit. I don't wanna be with anyone if I can't control them."
Amity feels slightly offended, slightly and weirdly proud of what she'd just said. She's not exactly sure what to be, because everything's a whirlwind of emotions, and everything's mixed up, and she can't think straight. "I want everything from you, babe. The good and the bad. Don't hold anything back from me. I don't want to stop." She says, and it only seems to further Luz's weird and unprecedented frustration.
"I don't either. Let's just stay together, then."
"Forever?"
Luz hums. "Yeah. We'll get it out of our system. Fuck it. I'm tired of worrying."
Amity panics a little. "What—what do you mean, my love? Why are you worried?"
Luz pulls back to look Amity in the eyes. "Because, the truth is—I worry about you,
I worry about myself too. I'm worried we'll take it too far and do something stupid."
"What else could we possibly do that isn't as nearly as stupid as
Luz watches her for a quick second, and she seems to be confused. What could Amity even be referring to? There's so many things. Did she mean coming back every night, having sex with each other even if they know it's wrong and bad for them? Or did she mean the relationship in its entirety, so toxic and rotten that it's unbelievable?
Amity scoots forward to kiss Luz deeply, turning into a mess of stupid Luz mush when she lifts a hand to hold her face. It turns frenzied and hot in just a matter of minutes as they make out, and Amity is fully ready to climb her again when Luz pushes her away. They stare at each other wide eyed, and Luz laughs (slightly) maniacally.
I don't know." She groans breathlessly, appraises Amity for a moment, running a shaky and stressed hand through her own bangs. Amity bites her lip and looks away, wondering what she must look like in comparison to Luz if it made her so nervous to even stare her in the eyes. She looks so sexy with her messy hair, the glistening of sweat on her skin, her bare shoulders. She can't really believe it. She's still so insane over her.
"Are we really gonna keep doing this?"
And, Amity
say no. She
cut it off and end it right now. But why the hell would she do that? "I want to. If—if you want to."
"Okay. Fuck it. Let's keep going. We're fucked anyways."
"Okay, babe." Amity is hesitant to reach up and hold her face, pressing an innocent, soft kiss to her lips. She feels crazy when Luz kisses back. She doesn't know why it still affects her so much.
She whispers against her lips.
"If we're doing this, let's just go all the way. Let's get fucking hitched."
"Okay.
She squeaks happily. "Let's move far away from here and get a house together. We'll have sex all day long and go to work to pay the bills. I'll cook and clean for you…
She whispers with a little smile on her face, kissing the corner of Luz's mouth.
"Perfect. I think I can manage."
Amity giggles like a pathetic moron, so blinded by worthless, empty promises and words. "I love you. We'll make this work, no matter what. I promise."
"Okay. I trust you." She kisses her earnestly, and it's then that Amity realizes that she's doomed, and has been from the very start. But she doesn't care.
They lay cuddled together like that for a long time, and after a while Amity giggles, face buried in Luz's neck. "What would my parents think of me now?" She asks rhetorically in a quiet voice. "They always thought I was straight. They thought I'd marry a man and have a big family. But I'm gay. I'm
gay for you, Luz." She pulls her arms tighter around her waist.
she sing-songs, playfully patting Amity's face. "... I always thought I was bi before I met you. Now I'm not really sure. It doesn't matter anymore. You're like an entirely new sexuality for me."
"Really?" She asks, starstruck.
"Yep. You're a whole other thing that I hate and don't understand." She says jokingly, not joking. And Amity understands what she means. They're always more or less slightly maniacal after they have sex, when they are out of the heat, able to question their decisions and finally feel stupid about them. But she likes it because It makes it easier for them to express what they feel.
"I hate you too," she rushes to say, desperate to be in on the half-joke and to feel validated.
But
it a joke? She couldn't tell.
—
Luz watches with wide eyes as Amity comes out of the bathroom. She can just feel her perverted eyes crawling up her body, finding pleasure and something to possess in every inch and every curve. She smiles and walks up to her very slowly, wrapping her arms around her neck when they press against each other.
"How do I look?"
"Good," she says absentmindedly, tries to kiss her but Amity quickly tilts her chin up, so she kisses her neck instead.
"I know you have a thing for when I wear lipstick," she says softly, leaning in so close that it wouldn't be hard to kiss her. It's hard not to. But Amity teases her, keeping herself away because it's great to have so much power over her with such a simple thing. The delay is arousing. She ever so slightly brushes their lips together as she leans forward to whisper close in her ear. "Admit it."
"Fuck. Yeah, I do."
Amity giggles. "You think I'm sexy?"
"You are," she swallows nervously and cups her face. She gets this softness in her eyes, but it's not what Amity thinks it is. She's looking at her lips again, but she will not reward her with a kiss because this little date is important to her.
It's important that she keeps the upper hand over her girlfriend because if she loses it, she's not getting it back for the rest of the night.
Luz takes them to a nice restaurant. That's saying a lot, because this is unlike any of the places she'd been brought to before. It's dark only lit by candlelight, the waiters are dressed in black and the menu starts at fifty.
Amity is pleased, but at the same time very conflicted.
If Luz had done this a two years ago, this extravagant wine-and-dine, fancy dress shirt, Amity may have appreciated it more. It might have meant something, the way every glance and word and touch did, when she was young and desperate for her love. She doesn't really know the difference now.
But
they're so… old, and does a fancy night out even mean anything to them anymore?
She wants to enjoy it, but something's holding her back.
They're sitting at the table, and they find that they don't have much to talk about. The first thing Amity asks is, "How are we going to pay for this?" as she's gawking at the menu. She's lucky Luz is so quick witted.
"Don't worry about that, princess," she says slyly, whipping something out of her wallet. It catches Amity's eye as Luz waves it around like it's a piece of candy. "I gotcha covered. Dinner's on me, thanks to
"Huh?" Amity blinks.
"Never seen this bad boy before?" She grins, holding a slick black card between two fingers. "Here, you can hold it." She reaches over the table and Amity takes it, examining it with an unamused face. It really wasn't the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen, but Luz seems to think so.
"What is it?"
"It's a rich-person-credit card." She says incredulously.
"You're not rich," she points out smugly. Luz slouches.
"Yeah, well I'm... I'm well off...?"
"Not really," Amity says and she feels triumphant, still in the lead. This is easy breezy. It's fun to mess with her hot girlfriend. It's fun to prove her wrong. She gives her stupid credit card back and Luz looks at it with a renewed disappointment.
"So... you're not impressed?" She pouts.
"You don't need to try to impress me, babe. I'm not interested in money, anyways."
"What do you want from me then? I'll give it to you. Just say the word," she says, like it's a promise, like anything materialistic would make up for everything she's been through, the whirlwind of bad emotions and even the circumstances Luz has caused.
But really, she doesn't want anything. She just wants her close, to be in her arms forever and always. She wants to kiss her, and show her how it makes her feel when she gets all dressed up for dates, the happiness she feels waking up next to her in the mornings.
She's tired of tiptoeing around it. They're adults now, and to just pretend like they're going to do something about this is irresponsible. There's no need for them to be shy about it. She just wants a normal, happy and fulfilling life with Luz. She's all she wants. It makes her want to cry.
"I want to keep doing this. I'm happy with this."
"Are you sure?" Luz watches her carefully.
Amity nods. "It's just been so long... and I feel like we barely know each other." She bites her lip and looks away. It's hard to stay positive when thinking about everything. "We never talk."
"Well… what do you wanna talk about?"
"Anything. I want to hear your voice," she rests her chin on her hand and gazes lovingly across the table at the love of her life, the candlelight dancing frivolously on her blushing face. "I love your voice, babe. I love everything about you."
"Do you really, though?" She asks teasingly, trying to regain her composure. Amity hadn't really seen her blushing before. Never really seen her flustered outside of the bedroom. It almost turned her on, thinking of ways to try and get that red tint back to her cheeks.
"I do. I like it when you're screaming my name with that pretty voice of yours," she lowers her own voice to whisper, because she
isn't a delinquent.
"Yeah?" Luz smiles lewdly and she leans on the table as well. "Your voice is prettier. It's like it was made to say my name. It drives me crazy, Blight."
"What drives you crazy, Noceda?" she hums, guiltily aroused.
Her smile turns ominous, and she puts the back of her hand to her forehead, dropping her head back dramatically. "Luz, don't stop, don't stop, please," She whines quietly. Amity sputters, her face burning intensely. She's absolutely mortified.
The fact that they're in a public restaurant is one thing, but if it weren't for that fact she would have picked up this extremely well seasoned bread and thrown it at Luz's stupid grinning face. It's expectant, almost.
What
she expecting?
Amity relaxes, accepting it. It's okay to pilot-mode a little bit for now. She knows what Luz is waiting for, catching that telling glance or two at her lips. "Lipstick."
"Huh?" Luz snaps to attention.
"You should try lipstick. You'd look good in it," she comments casually, looking down at the menu. Luz bites the inside of her cheek, thinking it over.
"No, I wouldn't. I don't even like makeup," she snorts.
"So you're saying you don't like it when I wear makeup?" She raises an eyebrow.
"What? No, that's not what I said. I meant,
personally, am not a makeup kind of person, you know? But you—you—you make it work. You're beautiful, when you wear makeup, and when you don't. You're just beautiful."
"Aw, thanks, baby." She smiles gently, internally over analyzing that entire word vomit; the stammering and all. Luz seems a bit taken aback by her lack of excitement over it, because she's used to Amity overreacting to simple, empty things. But they're older now. "I appreciate that."
"Great," she smiles, and then it drops to a confused pout. "I guess I just…" she sighs, idly tying a straw wrapper into knots. "I don't know. I have nothing to say."
Amity looks away, ashamed. "That's okay. Neither do I. It's just… weird when we're trying to be normal, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"But this is good for us," she says with faux reassurance. "We have to try, at least. We can't stay… like this forever."
"Like… how?"
"Like… I don't know." She sighs defeatedly. Luz clicks her tongue, nodding.
"We can dance around it all night, I guess. But it's not gonna get us anywhere. I know what you mean, though. We're kinda shitty."
"Right. Exactly," she offers a little smile. "I don't think we
change. Easily, that is," she rushes to say when Luz's eyes widen calmly. "I want us to keep trying. I think we could do it if we tried," she reaches a hand over the table to rest on top of Luz's. "If we want to."
we want to?" Luz asks smartly in a quiet, low voice, smooth and warm like caramel. Amity is slightly shocked by the simplicity of its impact, the things that it does to her insides.
"Yes. I mean, n—no. But we need to."
"Would we be happy if we tried to fix this issue that we are obviously more than okay with?"
"Are we happy
Amity bites her lip, and this time it's Luz's turn to be mortified. She slumps slightly onto the table, looking boredly at Amity.
"I just… what's the point of even trying to do
if... if we already know what we want?" She sighs, unable to look Amity in the eye.
And, she knows exactly what she means. But to tease Luz is fun. To embarrass her even more so. She takes a moment before answering, pulling her hand away to take a bite of the fancy bread from the basket and defiantly placing it back. "...You mean sex?" She asks, her mouth full.
Luz laughs and she looks ashamed. "Well...yeah," she shrugs.
Amity just wants to cuddle up next to her. She feels so far away. She
this restaurant. She hates this big round table, hates the stupid fancy candle between them. She preferred something more intimate. Something private.
She wants her. So badly.
"Is that all
want?" She asks, partially trying to hold back tears. She can't help but feel like things have changed between them after all this time. She thought they'd at least progressed past this phase of their relationship.
"I want whatever you want."
"I want you."
They stumble into the apartment and Luz pushes Amity up against the wall in the bedroom with a loud
as her body collides with the hard surface. It hurts so much, but she likes it because it's Luz who's inflicted it, forced her to feel it. She moans when Luz pushes close, their bodies pressed perfectly together.
And Luz finally takes her kiss, because it'd been all night and Amity had already gotten away with so much. They kiss deeply and passionately, Luz pinning her arms over her head against the wall. She hears Luz groan into the kiss, desperate for more.
"You've waited long enough," she pants, out of breath when Luz pulls away. She is thoroughly amused by the smudged lipstick on her lips, her pleading eyes. "I'll reward you now, baby. Let me go so I can touch you." she says gently, resting her hands on her shoulders when Luz releases her arms, strokes down to her chest. "All you have to do is tell me
what you want."
"You know what I want."
"No, I don't," she fights a laugh, burying her face in her neck and being consciously sure to avoid contact with her lips. "You need to tell me."
"I want your lips."
Amity hums, gratified. "You want my lips
"On me."
"Doing what?"
Luz whimpers. "I want you to make me feel good... with your mouth."
"Okay, babe," she pulls away, holding her face gently, taking in her willingness and her urgency. It's so delicious and
She turns around and leaves Luz hanging even longer, silently squealing to herself. She walks showily to the bed, swinging her hips because she
Luz is watching—sits down and crosses one leg over the other. "I can make you feel better.
she smiles sweetly. "I need you to be naked first."
"Ugh, Blight. Why?"
Amity beckons her closer, and Luz comes to stand between her legs, tangling a hand through her hair when she rests her forehead on her chest. "So I can kiss you... I figured you would prefer yourself available in other areas as well, so I could…"
She hears Luz swallow. "Really?" she asks, unbelieving. Almost like she
she doesn't deserve it. But Amity
know.
"Of course, my love. I'd do anything to please you." she whispers, letting the sincerity of it all sink in with the airy silence, like salt in the wound. "But I
you to take off
of your clothes."
Amity is shaking, because she doesn't exactly know what she's doing. She's not exactly sure how assertive she should be, what type of mood Luz is in. She's not good at teasing or dirty talk or commanding. Luz is supposed to be the one in control, not Amity.
She wonders why Luz lets her. It
be her sensitivity,
the fact that she finds amusement and pleasure in the idea of letting Amity, someone so incompetent and small and idiotic try to dominate her.
Either way, it was fun to see her girlfriend like this.
Amity moves to get herself undressed as Luz sits down beside her to remove her top. She pulls off her heel, tossing it to the closet and then crosses her other leg to remove the other. Then she glances to her girlfriend, catching her staring. But she excuses it because her shirt is off and she's slipping her pants off now. "Good girl," Amity purrs, and Luz looks mortified to hear it from her. She crawls behind her on the bed to help remove her bra, tossing it away as well.
She leans in to finally kiss her neck softly, whispering,
"I love you," is all she comes up with, starstruck. Amity is glad.
she pinches her earlobe between her teeth, even taking the metal of her black stud earring into her mouth. She releases it, teasingly dragging her tongue along the back of her ear to the top again. She feels Luz shudder, and to combat it, Amity soothingly smooths her hand down the side of her shoulder to hold her there comfortingly. She bites her lip, overwhelmed by the acces she's been enabled to her hot girlfriend.
She wraps her other arm around her front, resting her hand lightly on her thigh and starts to kiss softly up her neck again. She is sure to press her chest against her back, slowly rolling her hips on her. Luz sucks in a deep breath through her nose, tilting her head slightly to the side to allow Amity more access.
She can tell her girlfriend is getting so hot, so worked up over this, and to really mess with her, Amity moans quietly as she's tracing her tongue up the side of her neck, only to earn a moan from Luz in return. "Is everything okay?" she asks sounding concerned, a hint of a mischievous tease in her tone.
"I'm fine. Just…" she breaks off, embarrassed. "I'm just…"
"You're just…
"I'm happy."
"I'm happy, too." She smiles to herself feeling triumphant and successful, happy as well. She's always so lucky when she gets to love Luz up close, to see what's under her stupid, futile facade. Because Amity's the only one who knows how to pull it off. She knows Luz, and she knows how she's really just as desperate and selfish as she is, longing for a touch and dreaming about the sex. "I want you to be honest with me tonight, okay?" she asks sweetly, kissing her jaw.
"Isn't it easier to keep lying to each other?"
Amity pauses for a moment, slightly put off. She knows Luz is a liar. But… "I've never lied to you." She continues to kiss down to her shoulder again, hesitantly licking there too.
"Y—you have. And… it's my fault for not being, …good enough. Emotionally." she stammers. "And I'm sorry for that."
"Don't apologize. It's useless, don't you think? It's not like you're going to change." She says it, and it's harsh, but her tone of voice is liquid and smooth, so even if Luz
called-out, she's still getting turned on. Maybe confrontation is her kink. "You don't plan to be better."
"You're right."
"I know I'm right." She hums, satisfied but still slightly bitter. Wonders what kind of sound Luz would make if she reached down into her underwear right now. She presses her stomach against her back to come closer, kissing near the top of her collarbone to distract while she teasingly walks her fingers down her girlfriend's stomach. "That's why I think you could at least stand to be honest, just for tonight. Tell me the truth. Tell me what you want."
"Okay, Blight. I can do that," there's a tremble in her voice, and Amity wants to squeal because it's so good. But she could do
much more. She could make Luz blush. She could make her scream, and cry. They're on an equal playing field now.
She is no longer the manic pixie dream girl Amity always thought she was. Not the mysterious enigma of a girl, the one wearing a grin all the time, the girl who was always right and in control of every moment, at least when she was with Amity. Now she is just a little more than out of control, bottom of her game, and Amity can finally compete.
Her hand finds the top of her panties, her soft skin warm and smooth with wonder, and Amity
what's underneath. It's a surprise for her every time, when she slips under and feels the softness of her sex, because it's unbelievable how intoxicating it is to hear her girlfriend's little cry, so close, so urgent. How exhilarating it is when she dips her fingers inside, feeling her warm and sensitive and wet, spreading her open and pushing
getting hot and bothered over just the simplicity of touching her like this. It's all so hazy, like a fever dream.
"What do you think of this?" Amity asks hotly, close to her ear, slowly dragging her fingers back out to press tightly against her sex as she slips back up to circle her index finger over her clit.
"I like it," she is able to choke out the words, grinding her hips against Amity's hand, working so hard to please her.
"Be honest with me, babe. Let me know how you feel," she whimpers, compensating for her girlfriend's slowly falling apart by softly kissing up her neck again, letting her hand drift slightly down to the center of her sex, slipping to fingers inside with a gentle caution. She eases in, slowly thrusting in and out.
"I'm being honest. It's… it feels really,
good. Ugh, don't stop." she's panting now, and Amity moans because it's driving her crazy. The night has only just started, and she can't let her sweet, terrible girlfriend off that quickly. She can't give her the sweet release she's been waiting for, not yet. With an especially rough thrust, she draws her fingers back out, applying a pleasant pressure on her clit again as she slowly drags them all the way back out of her underwear, slick and wet against her flat tummy, up to her navel.
She moves to climb around her to get out of bed, and she catches a glimpse at her girlfriend's priceless face. It's a perfect mixture between hysterical disappointment and anger, but the feeling is too intense and wonderful that it's hard to be mad, the slight glisten of tears in her eyes. Amity giggles and leans in to give her a sloppy, open mouthed kiss, whispering,
All Luz can do is nod, urgent to kiss her back, anything to quench this thirst inside of her.
the fucking worst, Blight."
the worst," she corrects, because it's a team effort, this train wreck of a relationship. "Go ahead and get comfortable," she says sweetly, but it's ominous as she gives her another kiss and smiles. "I'll be right back, my love."
"Okay," Luz swallows.
Amity rushes to the bathroom to find her makeup bag, digging through it to find the tube of red lipstick that she applied at the beginning of the night. It's definitely a little messed up from eating and drinking, (and then making out,) so she washes it off to reapply a perfect, fresh new coat. She comes back to the bedroom, but brings the tube with her to keep it fresh all night.
She sets it down on the nightstand and finds Luz laying down on the bed, waiting patiently like a good, good girl. Amity slightly wants to cry at the sight of her, naked and nervous but vulnerable in this new way. "Thank you for waiting on me, babe. You don't have to wait any longer." She reaches behind herself to unclip her bra, letting it fall to the floor, and forgetting about it for the rest of the night.
She gets in bed to lay on top of her girlfriend, their skin warm and perfect against each other, like it's meant to be. Amity feels secure and safe and comfortable, feeling Luz's legs around hers. She's happy that Luz knows to accommodate for her, because she'd never really,
physically dominated her before. But she knows to relax her muscles and to let herself be pushed and pulled.
She wonders what changed, that Luz was so opposed to this in the beginning and now here she was, begging for it.
Amity holds up her open hand, and after a moment, Luz does to match it, lacing their fingers together gently. She pins her arm to the bed over her head, laughing quietly at how cooperative she's being. She leaves her other arm free, guiding it to rest on her back. "Hold onto me, okay?"
Luz nods shyly.
"Good," she says soothingly. "Now. Do you want me to give you kisses?"
"Yes," she hears her swallow. "Please."
"You want me to get my lipstick all over you. Is that what this is all about?" She asks sternly, holding herself over her but keeping a firm grip on her hand against the bed.
"Yes," she moans.
"Why are you so drawn to my lipstick, Noceda?" Amity positions herself between Luz's legs so that her hips align with hers and she's at the perfect advantage to kiss her neck. "Is it the thought of being marked? Do you want my mark on your body?"
She nods. "I want you to mark me…I wanna be yours."
"You're already mine, baby," She lowers down to bury her face in her neck, shakily releases her grip on her wrist and trails a finger down the length of her arm, down to gently pinch her nipple. She feels Luz slightly arch her back off the mattress, pressing her body delightfully into Amity's.
"You like this?" She smiles into her neck, swiping her thumb over her nipple again and again. Luz whimpers, nails slightly digging into her back. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. It gets so much better than this. She can't believe how sensitive her strong, beautiful girlfriend is underneath her like this.
"Kiss me?" Luz chokes out, asking sweetly. And Amity can't deny her asking so nicely for it, waiting so patiently. She was going to make her girlfriend feel so good tonight. She was going to make her scream, give her so much to think about the next time she wore lipstick.
"Yes, of course. I love you, Luz." She leans into her neck again and moves her hand to tenderly hold her cute, small breast, rolling it around under her palm, earning a squeak from her girlfriend. She finally presses a soft, warm kiss on her neck first. It's deep and loving, and she is thoroughly satisfied when she sees the print of her lips left there. She kisses again right below that, and keeps going to trail down her neck until she reaches her collarbone.
Light pecks, to last longer until she would have to reapply, all the way down until her mouth is at her other breast, and she kisses right above her nipple to tease Luz first. "What do you think?" Amity asks sweetly. "Is it feeling good?"
"Mhm. Keep going for me,
Please."
Amity only hums delightedly, quickly flicking her tongue over her nipple and grazing her teeth over it. "Should I get lipstick here too?"
"Yeah."
Amity nods, and takes her nipple into her mouth this time, partially aware that she was probably going to smudge the lipstick now. But that didn't matter. She twirls her tongue around the sensitive skin, thoroughly pleased by how soft and delicate it is in her mouth. The little noises that Luz makes are only a plus, and the rewarding hand that tangles through her hair is just as pleasing.
When she pulls away, there's a red mess where her lips were, but she guessed that was the goal anyways. She continues to kiss down to her abdomen, leaving a trail of red lips along her chocolatey dark skin.
"I love you," Luz reaches down to tuck a strand of green hair behind Amity's ear as she's kissing her stomach. "Amity... you're so perfect."
perfect," Amity grunts, placing a hand over hers to bring it to her lips. She kisses her knuckles and makes her perfect lip mark there too. "I don't know why you can't accept that."
"I've accepted it," she says indignantly, laughing. "I can't argue with someone so dead set on me, can I?"
"No," she says matter-of-factly, "You can't. I just want you to let me love you, babe. That's all."
"That's a lie and you know it. I thought we were being honest tonight,
she says pointedly.
Amity hums decisively, thinking how she shouldn't get herself worked up over something so trivial. Luz is closing herself off, and she wouldn't listen to anything Amity said right now. She feels like she has to fight back, keep her cool even though she's unraveling with every second passed.
"It's okay to let yourself enjoy this," she says sensitively, leaning to softly kiss her thigh. She lingers there, because she's obsessed with the warmth and cool of her girlfriend's skin. "You can let your guard down."
"I… I know," she hesitates. "I just don't feel… comfortable."
"What can I do to make you comfortable?"
"Ah, nothing…" Luz goes quiet. Amity sighs, moving back up to hug her around the waist, their bodies perfectly aligned with each other's. "I think this is a
problem," she says quietly, ashamed.
"Don't worry about that. We're together. It's you
me tonight," she says gently to reassure her, taking Luz's hand to place it on her own face, nuzzling softly into it. She leans down to give her a long, slow kiss.
Luz is speechless. Absolutely baffled, completely and utterly obsessed. "...What do I get for wanting to be in love with you?"
Amity pauses, watching Luz for a moment. "You're… in love with me?"
"Yeah," she laughs incredulously, almost hysterical as she brushes her hair back with a stressed, shaking hand. "I know I probably sound really stupid, and—."
"...And… what?"
"And I'm sorry…?" her voice cracks. "I don't know what to even
Amity blinks, tears springing to her eyes. How dare she? Why does Luz always have to keep her guessing? Why does she have to toy with her heart so shamelessly?
should I believe you?" She asks slowly.
"Don't. I never expected you to. It's too late for… for that." she watches Amity and a few long moments pass. "Can't we just have tonight? We'll worry about all this tomorrow."
Amity's eyes flash with hurt, and for a split second she thinks she could settle for less. Just forget about it and be caught off guard when it came up again. Just continue on like she wasn't confused out of her mind or just frustrated over everything, but she didn't want to do that anymore.
"No. We always put it off. Tell me what you mean. Right now."
Luz goes quiet.
she urges again.
Then Luz laughs, a bit indignant. "I love you, Amity. I've tried telling you before," she trails awkwardly.
"But it's been so long," Amity picks up where she left off. "And you used me for so long. You… told me you loved me to get what you wanted. How the
do you think
feel?"
"You…" she laughs nervously. "You probably feel like shit! And I don't blame you. I just—,"
"You just
"I just don't know what to tell you. What am I supposed to do?"
Amity looks away sulkily. "Try a
harder." She moves completely off of Luz and lays down beside her. They stare up at the ceiling awkwardly. Luz simmers in her shame, guilt, regret. The hell does she do now?
Everything's going to be fine between them no matter what she says, but… she doesn't want to be subpar today with her excuses. She can come up with something… something believable and sensible for her dear Amity.
But her mind is completely overwhelmed with how good she was feeling just a moment ago, and part of her only wants to make this better just for Amity to keep going. But that's so… selfish of her. She's so selfish that it's frustrating even for herself.
She would just feel weird if things went back to normal after this. And Amity is clearly upset.
She must look so stupid. Here we go again. She feels the chemicals kicking in. She needs to apologize. It's getting heavier and she wants to run and hide. She does this every time.
needs to fix it. But she's like, really distracted and she's covered in lipstick and everything was so hot before this…
"Amity."
"Yes?"
"Can I make it up to you? ...In any way?" she sighs, out of ideas. "Is there any way I can get you to believe me?"
"No," she swallows. "I don't think so."
"Then… what's the point of staying together if… if we're never gonna get anywhere with this?"
There's a brief silence.
"You're familiar. You're all I know." Amity turns her back to Luz, pulling the blanket over herself. They'd been to this same conclusion a million times, but it was amusing to hear every time she heard it, because on some level, she
right.
She couldn't deny that.
"If we broke up… I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I don't know what to do without you."
Luz sighs. "We're being honest tonight, right?" The aching silence speaks for itself. "...Truth is, I wouldn't either." she admits quietly.
Amity freezes, only part of her is shocked, the other is not very surprised at all. They're both just big dumb idiots who don't exactly know what they're doing at the end of the day. "So why separate when this is a comfortable routine for us?" she shudders. "Why go through all the trouble when we could just ...
Luz grunts. "You make it really hard to say no sometimes."
It's getting so hot under the covers, and Amity's thighs are burning, her skin damp with sweat and tingling with arousal. All she can feel and see and taste is Luz, just how she likes. Just how she wants. She lets out a whiny cry, dropping her head back when Luz flexes her fingers inside her, feeling her teeth biting into her neck. It's so amazing. She's so perfect, and her life is complete
Luz's phone rings. Amity breathes.
Everything seems to calm down then, and Luz stops, kissing Amity's shoulder softly as if to put this on pause, gently drawing her fingers out of her aching clit. Amity gets immediate whiplash on a spectrum of feelings, wishing with her whole being that Luz didn't stop.
But her phone keeps ringing, so Luz crudely wipes her coated fingers off on the bed sheets and blindly reaches for the offending device, denying her of her perfect orgasm. Amity sighs deeply in disappointment as her girlfriend answers the call. She's even more upset when Luz shifts a bit to sit up over her, holding the phone to her ear. "Luz Noceda, yeah, this is her," she says in her perfect tone mastered for publicity, like her throat
sore from screaming so much tonight. "Yeah, uh… yeah, sure. I'll take it. Does Friday work?"
Amity watches her girlfriend for a moment as she stares off, focused on this call. Luz suddenly looks down at her and cracks a hot little smile, agreeing with something very exaggeratedly on the other line. Amity flushes, still head over heels and crushy over her. She wraps her arms around her neck and buries her face into her shoulder, humming quietly with satisfaction. Feeling her warm skin, the butterflies in her stomach when Luz leans into her. "Can I talk to uh, the manager about that first? Later, I mean, I don't—oh,"
She gets a little bit of a bad idea and gives her collarbone a little kiss, slow and soft and sweet. She trails upward to her neck, ever so slowly, and she can hear her getting flustered and hot over it; her answers come slower and shakier, her voice sounding distracted and distant.
Amity shivers with delight at the absurdity of this. Her managers or whoever she's talking to have absolutely no idea who she's fucking. Who she's naked in bed with, spending long nights with. Her
They have
what Luz is behind closed doors. "Yeah, I'm… huhhhhh," she trails off when Amity kisses softly right on the sensitive spot on her throat. She giggles to herself, another little victory over Luz in her book.
To take it further, she starts to suck gently on her neck, and her first goal is to get a hickey, but the little whimpers it elicits from Luz is even better. She moves up to push her lips against hers
and then bites her bottom lip between her teeth, hard enough to make her scream, but somehow she holds it in. Luz pants, staring dumbstruck at Amity. "Hey, let's talk later, I—yeah, I have to go," she says hurriedly and rushes to hang up the phone, tossing it back somewhere on the bed.
The
thing she does is lock Amity into a deep kiss and they fall back on the bed, Amity gripping onto her back for dear life. Dear, life. She moans into the kiss, trying to draw Luz back in, get her excited and in love again. She pulls away with one last kiss, just to glare at Amity.
She gets a loopy little smile on her face because, wow, she's so obsessed with this girl. "Who were you talking to?" she asks innocently, stroking a finger slowly down her chest. Luz seems to relax under the teasing touch, kissing her again.
"New audition. I couldn't finish talking to them though because
kept distracting me."
"Who was it?" Amity asks flirtatiously, biting her lip anxiously. Luz looks at her with melodramatic bewilderment, but Amity can tell (she hopes) that Luz is at least a little endeared.
They pick up right where they left off, and Amity finally gets her perfect fairytale orgasm to Luz's sweet, empty, meaningless words, her index and ring finger dipped deep inside of her sex. She arches her back as she hits the very peak, and comes crashing down at full, hard speed, everything burns and she violently contracts around her precise fingers, letting out a cute little whimper. It makes Luz laugh, and she softly kisses her neck. "Happy now?"
Amity falls back on the bed, staring up at her girlfriend, breathless, incredulous and speechless for a moment. She reaches up to hold her face, taking one of her long side bangs to twirl it sensually around her finger. "Wow, Luzita…" her voice is shaky, drunken from adrenaline and serotonin. "You're
she drawls.
"What can I say?" Luz just laughs, leaning down to kiss her deeply. Amity moans contentedly, kissing her back with everything she has.
After they pull away, Amity is slightly better again. "You're pretty hot."
"Shut up," she says weakly, nuzzling into her chest.
"Would you like to be my plus one for a work party this Thursday?"
I like to?"
Amity pulls back to look at her. "Would you?"
She hums decisively, eventually settling for a playful smile. "I would."
Amity cuddles her close once again, fulfilled and happy for just this one moment in time. "I want to get married to you," she says passionately, but little does she know that it nearly caused Luz a heart attack.
Breaking out into a cold sweat, she changes the subject smoothly, asking casually, "What's the party for?"
"Oh, right. We're celebrating the premiere of season one. The entire cast will be there."
Luz's throat goes dry, and instead of saving it, she's backed herself into a corner. "Even… Sabrina?"
"...Yes."
She whines like a stupid baby and pulls her dear sweet Amity close, taking her in every little way, any way possible. The pleasant smoosh of their bodies, her slightly sweaty but mostly coconut shampoo scent, her softness, her hand stroking through her hair. "Luz… you really need to get over this…
you have about my coworker." she says, and the way she phrases it—
is like a punch in the face. An eye blackening, jaw shattering punch in the face. "We're
friends."
It's the only thing that echoes in her mind when she eventually has to leave Amity for the day—(she has to be to work unusually early this morning)—as they're walking out to the parking lot. It's a bright new day, a stuffy, forecasted morning. It's cloudy and cold, and all she wants to do is curl up in a ball in Amity's arms. But Luz would never admit that out loud.
Amity is bundled up in her jacket, clutched tightly onto her arm.
As much as she hates to think about it, she likes having her girlfriend all clingy like this. Parting is always such sweet sorrow.
"I'll miss you," she says sweetly, distant as she wraps her arms around her and they lean against the car for a quiet, blissful moment in the lazy morning cold.
Amity leans up to press a sweet, hesitant kiss to Luz's lips. She kisses back urgently to tell her,
because she doesn't know what's up with her today. She's so weird and confusing. Luz wishes she understood.
Then Amity pushes her tongue into her mouth and Luz opens her eyes in surprise.
She lets her eyes flutter closed again and pulls her cute, small girlfriend deeper. It's perfect, and sweet and romantic and… amazing.
"—Amity!" a male voice calls from behind them. Luz and Amity tear apart in a split second to see who had interrupted them. What Amity sees is pure horror, but to Luz it's just a man that—
He jogs up to them from the car at the end of the lot, and then Amity's weirdo sister comes after him.
"I told you not to get out!" She calls after him, running to try and stop him. Luz freezes, unsure of how she should go about this.
Her brother finally reaches Amity and pulls her in tightly for a hug, glaring at Luz over her shoulder. Her eyes widen calmly, and she raises a hand to wave at him. "Hi," she says coolly.
Luz Noceda, right?" He pulls away from the weird sibling hug and pushes past Amity to walk up close to Luz.
"Yep. That's me," she goes for a friendly handshake, but he coldly refuses it.
"Have you been treating our Mittens right?"
"Yeah," she says, speechless, discreetly trying to open the car door. How does she even lie her way out of this one?
"Liar!"
Luz glares confusedly at him, feeling pathetic for being a little nervous. She catches Amity in the background having a heated whisper-conversation with her older sister, trying to push her away. "...Excuse me?"
"Are you an idiot? Haven't you seen the press?" He asks.
"I don't check the press. It's—"
"Do you know how many times our little sister has come
to us because you're abusing her?"
"What are you talking about?—,"
"She
us not to call the police on you, but you'd better believe we're just
to file a domestic abuse report on you. You're worse than I thought." He comes up nice and close to her face, and Luz stumbles back against her car.
"Hey man, back up,—" her heart slams into overdrive as his fist comes up, charged and ready, shaking with anger and pent up emotion. She squeezes her eyes tight as his fist flies forward and punches her slack against the jaw. Luz staggers back, her vision briefly blurring.
Somewhere in the background she hears Amity scream. "Get away from her!" She lunges toward her brother to try and pull him away. "Please,
she cries as he hits Luz again, this time in the stomach, and then again violently on the bridge of her nose.
"Ed! Stop that! You could get in trouble!" The older sister pulls him away by the shoulder. Amity roughly pushed him back, causing him to stumble against the other girl. She puts herself between Luz and Ed, clinging onto her girlfriend who is in absolute shock. "I'm
sorry,"
"Get away from us!" Amity sobs. "Don't ever come near me again!"
"Mittens—,"
She turns back to push her face into her chest, Luz watching in silence. "
Emira recoils in shock, holding Edric tightly in her arms. "We're trying to
you, Amity! We're trying to get you out of this before something
happens to you!"
"You've never helped me! You both have done nothing but ruin my life! It's like you don't want me to ever be happy!"
"You're
happy! You told us yourself! You asked us to help you, and we're trying but you won't let us!"
"Get out of here!
Amity screams. "Just go!"
"Fine, we'll go. Don't say we didn't try."
After they leave, Amity pulls away to look up at Luz, trembling as tears stream down her face. "Are you okay?" she asks, her voice is panicked and she clutches at Luz's face to examine if she got any injuries.
"Uhhh," is all she can say, still utterly shocked about that whole interaction.
She just got socked. Mark that off the bucket list? "I didn't know they knew about me."
Amity freezes, caught off guard. "I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I just needed to get some things off my chest and they're— they're all I had." another tear rolls down her cheek. "Is that okay?"
"This is why we don't tell people, Amity. That's why we…"
"I'm tired of living in secret. I'm tired of trying to keep you hidden. I want to love you out loud. I was tired of keeping it to myself… I was so depressed and desperate to talk to someone about everything I was going through. I'm—I'm sorry."
Luz looks at her for a moment. "We'll talk about this later. I'm gonna be late to work—," Amity clutches her arm.
"Wait," she hugs her tightly. "Is it okay? Are you mad at me? ...Is this
"...No. it's not your fault and I'm not mad. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Let's just get through today and we'll talk later, okay?" she offers her a little smile. "Everything's fine," she says soothingly, rubbing Amity's head.
"Are you sure you're okay to work today?"
"I'm fine. Promise." She raises up her pinky finger, and hesitantly, Amity hooks her finger around it. Luz gives her a little kiss on the forehead, and they part ways for the day. On the drive to work, she can feel herself shaking still with nervous energy. Her nose and jaw tingle ominously with a dull ache.
Throughout the day, there started to form bruises on her face where she had been hit, and it wasn't reasonable for someone who had to have a perfect face as their job. Covering it with makeup worked for a little, but as the day went on, it got worse, so she ended up being sent home early and earning a pardon from work for a week until her face cleared up.
She comes back to Amity's apartment and takes a nap for a while. She briefly wonders if she should do something about the bruises, like maybe put a bandaid on it or something. But she's an idiot who doesn't understand why things happen, and she decides to just sulk about it instead.
She's so useless.
She's in the living room when Amity comes in from work around eleven thirty at night. She stops, shocked that Luz was here already, thinking how she usually got back a little after she did. "Oh. You're back." she sets her bag down on the counter, coming into the kitchen where Luz was getting a bag of chips. She gasps, suddenly catching sight of the dark spots on her skin and rushing up to her to cup her face. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she looks away, ashamed. "They told me to fuck off until I look good again."
"You're bruised! Does it hurt?" She touches the side of her nose gently with her finger tips, Luz flinching in pain.
"Yeah. A little bit."
Amity's eyes water, and she stares numbly at Luz. "I'm so sorry…" she buries her face in her neck.
"It's fine. Don't worry." She rubs her back soothingly. She gently pushes her back to look at her beautiful Amity's face, wet with tears. She presses a warm, deep kiss to her lips, Amity shakily kissing back. She breaks off to kiss the sore spot on her nose gently, Luz feeling the tingly pain even then. Then she moves down to kiss her jaw, slowly up to her cheek again. "It's all better now, see?" She teases lightly.
"I love you. Let me take care of you, okay? I can make it better." She whispers softly. "Please?"
"Okay," Luz agrees, starstruck. It's not exactly what she was expecting—(can you blame her for thinking she meant something else?)—but when Amity comes back from the bathroom with a warm towel and a few other things, she finally gets it.
"Hold that there," she places the towel against her nose, pushing it deeply against the injury. Luz hisses, lifting a hand to hold it in place while Amity prepares a square patch and some aloe vera cream.
"Wow. You're all prepared for this, aren't you? Did you plan for me to get decked in the face?" She asks playfully, her smile dropping when Amity glares at her.
"Of course I didn't plan that. …I'm just glad you're okay." She kisses her quickly, pulling the towel away. She squeezes some aloe vera on her finger and rubs it in slowly on the side of her nose. "I took care of them. They'll never hurt you again."
Luz panics a bit. "You did?"
Amity nods sagely, picking up a small patch to stick on her face. She smooths it down, making sure it stays before grabbing another one to put over her jaw contusion. "We don't ever have to worry anymore."
They spend the rest of the week together, Amity taking care of Luz and making sure she gets better. By Thursday, she's feeling good as new, her face cleared up relatively quickly.
Well enough that no one noticed. She showed up to Amity's dumb little gathering at work, just to grace them with her precense. Amity seems proud to show her off, holding onto her arm as they walk into some five star Mexican restaurant. At first, Luz doesn't mind much about anything. She didn't want to be irritated the whole time while she was here. That was a suicide mission after all, and she was practically a ticking bomb.
For once, she wanted to be good enough for Amity, at least in the tabloids if not anywhere else. She dressed nice to come to this, dammit.
She wasn't going to let herself get mad every single time
hugged some lousy nobody from her stupid new Disney channel show. She was Luz Noceda. They should all be honored to have her here. She should be cool and well mannered for this.
But it's really starting to aggravate her.
These events are always so damn lame. That's why she never comes to these. Everyone's just sitting around. Luz busies herself with scrutinizing the menu once they sit down at a table. She's somehow relieved when Amity leans on her arm, warm and soft and so damned pretty. She hopes someone is looking. This wasn't her first time thinking that her and Amity make a great couple, as eye candy, at least.
"Wanna get going soon?" Amity asks, and Luz perks up.
"If you want. Aren't you hungry?" she adds, trying not to sound too desperate. Because she's
and smooth and down for whatever. She reigns at these social events.
"Not really. I just wanted to at least show up. That would be bad press if I hadn't, don't you think?" she jokes, giggling cutely.
"Probably," Luz laughs along robotically, sweating at the idea of there being a completely empty seat in front of them for literally anyone to come sit at. And she just saw Sabrina in her peripheral vision. "Let's get going then." She rushes to say.
"Oh, hold on. I completely forgot I didn't even see Sabrina yet," she leans forward to wave her friend down. "Bri! Hi!"
Luz stews in panic, clutching tightly onto Amity's arm to try and stop her, but it's already too late. Luz makes a little noise as Sabrina comes up to their table and
"Heyyyy," she says casually, immediately picking up on the weird energy radiating from Luz. "How's it going, Luzy?" she tries to lighten the mood. But Luz does
like that. Only Amity can call her weird nicknames.
"Don't call me that," she says before she can stop herself, trying at the last moment with a little chuckle to try and turn it into a joke. Sabrina and Amity freeze. "I, uh… it's just, Luz."
"Okay, then. I'll just avoid that one from now on." She blinks. "Sorry about that. I'm… actually really socially awkward around people, and you're, well," she gestures gallantly toward Luz. She nods, pretending to try and care.
"That's okay, Bri," Amity cuts in, and Luz glares at her. "How are you?"
"I'm okay. I was actually on my way to the bar. I'm too sober for this." She pauses. "Wanna come with?"
Amity opens her mouth to answer, but stops herself when she feels her girlfriend staring at her,
for her to say the wrong thing. "... I can't, actually. Luz and I were about to head out."
Luz relaxes a bit in her seat. "Already? Oh… okay."
"Yes… ah, I just wanted to come and let everyone see me here so I don't get in trouble on Twitter," she says playfully. "We can get drinks another time if you want."
"What?" Luz chokes. Both of them glance nervously at her. "Um. I didn't know you two were…"
Sabrina's eyes widen calmly, glancing at Amity.
"No, we hadn't before," Amity rushes to say. "I just… I don't feel like I'm in the mood for drinks right now so I just thought,
"I thought we talked about this," Luz mumbles through clenched teeth, tightening her hold on her girlfriend's arm.
"You know what? It's cool," Sabrina surrenders first, moving her chair back to stand up. "We'll talk later, Ami. I'll see you later."
"Bri," Amity sighs, recoiling away from Luz with a glare. Luz angrily lets her arm go, crossing her arms and watching Amity intently.
"We're leaving." Luz says, no room for argument in her voice.
"Okay, fine. Just let me say bye to everyone." Amity stands up. "I'll come get you when I'm ready, okay, babe?" she trembled.
"Y—yes?"
She watches Luz for a moment before she turns to walk down the aisle of tables, Sabrina following hesitantly after her. Luz watches them, her heart racing when she sees her put a hand on Amity's back.
Sabrina leans in to whisper in Amity's ear as they walk.
"Nothing. She's always like that." She says casually, a slight shake in her voice. She greets all of her coworkers briefly, taking stops to answer Sabrina's concerned look. "It's fine."
"That's
fine."
"I'm fine, really. She just gets jealous sometimes."
"What is she jealous of?
"I think so."
"Whaaaat." They keep walking in silence. "Should I be honored or terrified? Has she ever tried to kill you?"
Amity shoots her a look. "You're not helping. Look, I've got to go. See you Monday." She breaks out of the crowd before Sabrina can say anything, and the last she sees of them is Luz Noceda slinging Amity Blight out of the restaurant, pulling her away from the crowds and pushing her so violently that she stumbles.
Luckily, Amity makes things better that night, giving Luz some extra attention that she can't exactly deny, no matter how upset she was at her. She doesn't know what she was mad about by the end of the night. She's dizzy.
Luz looks at her, remembers her soft, loving kisses. Her gentle voice, the burning pleasure she felt with her, and she thinks,
The next morning, she kisses her forehead before getting out of bed to hurry and get dressed.
As she's brushing her teeth, she briefly, idly thinks that maybe marriage is taking it a little too far.
She most definitely was going to regret it. It was probably going to ruin her track record or something like that. Maybe it was a bad idea, but Luz is twenty and dumb, and in love, and she's only focused on her stupid, spiraling emotions right now. Not thinking about the consequences of her foolish actions.
There are her surface level feelings. And then there's,
and Luz has yet to have her feelings all sorted out. She can't believe that she could feel so much about a single person. She doesn't have an answer as to
or
This is just the next step. The ultimate way to possess a person, the only way she can keep Amity trapped in her dense cage, so that when she wakes up and realizes the problem, she'd have one last thick, iron tie to sever.
She'll realize it soon enough. Luz knows that much. Amity isn't stupid, just… stupid with love. And now Luz has got the wrong end of the stick. She hadn't expected to feel this way about her, and now she's the one who's going to get burned at the end of all this. Amity has nowhere else to go but up, Luz hopes. But this is Amity, and she's unpredictable. She's a maniac. She could definitely get worse.
She's stuck in a trap she helped create.
Oh well. She doesn't like to think about it too much.
It's that day when she starts to plan the proposal. She falters looking at ring prices, but seeing her again makes it all worth it, somehow.
It's the way she laughs, and the way she looks at her. Luz finds herself swooned over the mundane moments of life with her, because they'd already gone so far. There's no secrets to keep, nothing to hide.
The ice cream sundae they shared on a stupid, useless date. The way she keeps trying, insisting. The way Amity smiles gently when Luz agrees to let her feed her some. The way she so eagerly listens to what Luz has to say, the way she bites her straw. She's seen everything there was to see about Amity, but she'd never really paid attention to this side of her, the casual, normal person she is. She's falling in love backwards.
It sort of hurts when Luz notices the little things that tell her how in love Amity is, how obvious it's been this whole time. It was such a bother at the beginning, but now it's just plain stupid. Luz hates it.
It's her warm skin. Her soft kiss, her voice quietly crying her name, nothing but the bedsheets between them. The way she tastes and sounds and looks. The way she gives herself, and when she says,
Fuck. That kills her.
But more than that, it's her hug at the end. Her immediate forgiveness no matter how badly she hurt her, how broken she is after a long night.
Maybe Luz just loves being loved. She hates that she doesn't know what or how to feel, or why she feels at all. She hates not being in control of herself when she tries to be good enough for her. Hates that when she goes to buy her usual liquor, she also buys a stupid bouquet of flowers. She hates Amity's dramatic happiness over it.
She hates being the one to cuddle up close to her on a rainy day. She hates getting emotional about the way Amity is so soft. She hates when she catches herself thinking about her.
This was the hard part, she thinks. Falling in love with her. Catching the feelings. She thought that once
happened, she would be a better person. She thought she would be redeemed. But no matter how much she loves her, tries turning her bad, sadistic, pent up emotions into sweet affections, why does she still want to hurt her? Why does it make her want to cry when Amity smiles and kisses her afterwards?
"What's wrong?" Amity asks one day, they're sitting in the car.
Luz shakes her head, trying to get her thoughts and words in order. She sighs and releases the tension in her shoulders, clutching tightly at the steering wheel, her last bit of hope. "Nothing."
—
Luz is mad at her again.
She scrambles to get in bed, her heart leaping to her throat as she watches Luz pull her jacket off. She's so pretty. She loves her strong arms, those hands that make her feel so special. Luz comes to bed and straddles Amity across her hips, making her perfectly stuck underneath her. Amity is happy for it, because she wants nothing more than her Luz.
"I noticed how happy you looked today," Luz points out very contentiously, and she looks at her girlfriend with a stern eye. For Amity, this is a fun game. She can fight back and test her limits, because the consequences were a win for her too. If she makes Luz mad, she might get an especially deep kiss, a pinch or a slap, or a painful love bite on her neck someplace or other.
Amity juts her chin out defiantly, hoping for something painful. It'd feel good if she would just scratch her skin, deep and hot and angry. She just needs to push her buttons a bit, get her worked up. Luckily, she knows Luz and she knows the patterns. Something she'd picked up on was the way Luz reacted to her attitude when picking her up from work.
Luz is jealous of Sabrina, Amity knows that. And if Amity is so much as smiling when she gets in the car, Luz is suspicious of something. In a way, it hurts to know that Luz doesn't trust her, and to know that she thinks of her as someone to cheat, especially after how clear she'd made it that
is the only thing she wants.
Anyways, it is a great sign. It means that Luz cares. She just wishes Luz would let herself be loved, let Amity take care of her.
Oh well, she would just keep trying.
"I made friends with a new coworker," Amity says airily, equal to match Luz's aggressiveness. The vagueness makes Luz raise an eyebrow. "Her and I talked over coffee." she lies.
"Coffee?"
Amity nods. "I drove us there in my car on Thursday."
"You… you let her
your car?" Luz looks devastated almost, and Amity doesn't know if she's satisfied or heartbroken. To soften the blow, she leans up to rest on her elbow, wrapping her other arm around Luz's neck and pulling her in for a soft, tender kiss. Luz kisses back, her lips unsure and confused. Amity's happy to have some power back, knowing that this bothers her. It feels good to put her through the stress she once felt.
Amity gently pulls away, looking Luz in the eyes, matching her concern. "Does that make you worried, baby?" she asks teasingly, moaning and dropping her head back when Luz kisses her neck, rough and possessive. "That make you jealous?"
"I
you to stop doing that." Luz says shakily. Amity falls back on the bed, submitting under her girlfriend's weight and feeling her wet kisses trailing hotly down to her collarbone.
she thinks to herself, gratified. She had been recently, which is odd. But she doesn't complain because it feels so good, so much like her possessive, dominant Luz that she doesn't want anything but this. So she keeps going.
"Stop doing
Amity demands, running her hands through Luz's hair as a desperate attempt to hold onto something.
"Stop hanging out with those girls."
Luz?" She pants. "Tell me exactly why."
"Because I'm jealous!" Luz screams. She pulls back to look at Amity, and the way she is completely unashamed to say that is baffling to her. "It makes me
when you're
— with someone else."
"You want me to stop being happy?"
"No!— just… stop being happy with
She sighs, Amity quickly reaches up to hold her face. "Stop talking to them. Her. I don't know. I don't know anything."
"W—What are you jealous for?" She asks quietly, trembling.
"I'm afraid that you're… that you'll…"
"Luz, no." She softly kisses her nose, then her eyelid. She kisses her lips, and it's quiet between them for a moment. Amity takes a deep breath before speaking again. She knows this won't help, but it's how she feels. She wants to be able to communicate freely with her girlfriend and always tell her how she feels.
"I know," Luz sighs. "I know you would never cheat, but… I still think about it."
"Tell me what you think about, babe."
It's quiet again for a long while. "I think about you kissing her."
"Like the way we kiss?"
Luz nods. "And I think about you having sex with her."
Amity hums decisively, and she strokes her hair. "But, Luz. You know me, don't you?"
"What?"
know who
belong to."
"Yeah?" She leans in close, their lips a tickle away from a kiss that she longs for more than anything. They tangle into each other, and even if Amity thinks she's won, she
the idiot with the painted face. Luz is taking this for confirmation, and she thinks she's got to do something before Amity starts to drift away.
is
Sabrina's jaw drops, pointing somewhere over her shoulder. Amity swallows nervously and turns slowly to meet her demise, because she thinks she has a
idea on who it might be.
She bites down on her lip, immediately overwhelmed with want and desire for her girlfriend. There Luz is, leaning against the car door with her sunglasses on, a bouquet of red roses clutched in one hand, the other on her hip. There's a smug grin on her face, and
that
that
The first thing she thinks is—
It's not their anniversary, not her birthday, not a holiday. Did she…
She fights the tears springing to her eyes because it's stupid and they're
But Luz…
She turns to look at Sabrina, her eyes wide and a bit watery. Her friend just shrugs, giggling. "Go to her!" She shoos Amity away, making her stumble a bit. "Go, you idiot!"
"I'm going, I'm going," she squeals excitedly. "I'm going! I love you, Bri! See you tomorrow!" She waves at her as she goes.
"See ya!"
Amity laughs, blissfully hysterical that this is her life, and she runs with everything inside of her to meet Luz in the parking lot. Luz hurries to stand up, pushing her glasses up on her head and holding her arms open to catch her little girlfriend when she flings herself into her.
my love," she says sweetly into her hair, Amity melting under the softness of her voice. She can't believe this.
"Hi, baby," she greets affectionately, nuzzling into the cool leather of her jacket, pressing her up against the car as she pushes into her, as close as she can get. "I didn't know you were coming to get me today."
"Of course,
I just had to come get you because I have something
planned." She sings playfully, gently stroking a hand through her hair, kissing her forehead. "Ready to go?"
Amity pulls away, and Luz smirks at her. She briefly loses the ability to speak. "I'm ready… wherever you go, I'll follow." she hesitates to lean up on her tiptoes and kiss her lips deeply, feeling faint when Luz holds her face and kisses her deeper.
Amity abruptly pulls away again, remembering that she's in the parking lot of her job, and people can see them. Suddenly, she thinks about Sabrina, and she turns around to find her still standing across the way, watching them with a little smile on her face. A blush of mortification suffuses her face, and she jolts when Luz tugs her in by the hips and pushes her lips into another fervent kiss. Pleasantly shocked, she kisses back. This time, it feels even more possessive and even more jealous.
"I need to breathe," Amity rasps after it's been too long, tugging herself away and putting a firm hand on Luz's chest. She looks overrun with denial, out of options.
"I brought you these," she shoves the bouquet into Amity's hands, and she hastily takes them, looking up at Luz confusedly.
"Thank you, babe, but what for?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Don't worry about it, because you're my one and only, wifey sweety pie, now let's get in the car." She ushers Amity aside, opening the door for her and holding a hand on her back as she confusedly climbs inside. She slams the door and rushes to the other side to get in as well, hurriedly pulling away as soon as she buckles her seatbelt.
"... Is everything alright, Luz?" Amity asks slowly, clutching the roses to her chest for moral support.
"Perfect now that you're here." She says, easy breezy as they exit the perimeter gates, onto the main road. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, baby," she bites her lip, watching her for a moment as she drives, her shoulders looking a bit tense and her eye is twitching slightly. "How was filming today?"
"It was… you know. Usual stuff."
"Good day otherwise?"
"Yep."
"Is there something wrong?" She asks again worriedly.
"No. Just…. be good for me and don't ask questions."
Amity sighs, leaning back in her seat. Luz is making her all anxious, acting like that. Damn her. At least she has these pretty flowers. She fingers one of the petals softly, feeling its velvet smoothness, red and delicate and perfect, a gift of nature, all for her, given to her by the love of her life.
A few hours later, Amity and Luz are cuddled together after a long evening of passionate, hot sex. Amity's legs are sore from being forced and spread, her clit aches at the memory of her tongue, her fingers deep inside, her fervent kiss, her hot breath on her skin. It's dark in the room and she's dozing off under Luz's hand softly stroking her hair, tired but confident that she is loved and safe in her arms. She nuzzles into her chest, wanting to suffocate on her, to be filled by her.
The fresh bruises on her shoulders and neck tingle with an empty ache, and she is pressed flush, skin-to-skin against her hot girlfriend. She
happy that she's not acting weird anymore, the sex seemed to have calmed her down a bit. But Amity isn't quite satisfied. Not yet.
She
exhausted, though.
The only thing she can really do is kiss her, and even then it's weak and sloppy. She whimpers softly, her heart content with the slow, soft kisses Luz gives her. She's content to just stay like this for a while, getting heated up over the way her lips feel, her hand touching her and feeling her everywhere. First, her hand trails down from her cheek as their tongues dance, down to teasingly pinch her nipple. Amity yelps, breaking the kiss briefly until Luz pushes her back into another deep, hot one.
Somehow, Luz ends up on top of her, all worked up again as if they hadn't just pushed their bodies to their very limit just to satisfy each other. But Amity takes it all in stride, because she would never turn away free love from her precious Luz, not when it was already so hard to get from her. She doesn't know what she did, but Luz is especially in love with her tonight, kissing hotly down her neck and grinding herself against Amity's thigh.
Amity breathes heavily, panting for air as Luz teases her nipple, sucking a new hickey on her neck. She gets so stuffy at the thought of her girlfriend getting off on her leg, feeling her sex rubbing against her, feeling the wetness of her, hearing her quick, labored breaths.
Amity purrs, holding tightly onto her hair, rocking her body with the sensual rhythm of her. "Don't ever stop, baby. Take care of yourself. Use me," she moans.
They go like that for a while, and Amity is gratified when Luz finally comes, feeling her sticky, sweet love on her thigh. They're tangled together in a sweaty mess, breathing peacefully with each other when suddenly, Amity's phone buzzes from the nightstand. Luz freezes a bit, and Amity is more disappointed that she moved than anything when she goes to pick it up.
It slightly annoys her, that Luz just… picks it up. Like it's her phone to check. She blinks at the brightness of the screen, effortlessly typing in Amity's passcode. "Who was it, babe?" She asks innocently, afraid that she might know.
She stops to read it, sighing and her eyebrows furrow. "Your little
she hastily tosses her phone somewhere on the bed. Amity's heart races, and she quickly takes it to see what the message said.
Amity groans, ashamed. She feels dread curdling in her stomach as Luz gets up, moving off of her, when the only thing Amity wanted was to feel her body against hers all night. "Luz," she tries to grab her hand but she pulls it away.
Dammit.
She puts her phone back on the nightstand and rushes to sit up after Luz. She's sitting on the edge of the bed, and Amity sits on her knees from behind, wrapping her arms around her stomach. She rests her chin on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, kissing her neck softly. She's quiet as she gathers the words to say.
"... Tell me what's wrong, baby."
Luz doesn't say anything. Amity groans softly but doesn't give up. "Babe, I need you to talk to me, okay? If you don't communicate how you feel then I can't help you." There's a pang of hurt in her chest when Luz tries to pull her arms off, but Amity only retaliates by holding on tighter. She knows what she needs to say. "I promise we're just friends."
Still, she says nothing.
"I got a job on a show. A show has a cast. Sabrina is part of the cast. We work together. We are
She sighs. "And… I've told you that from the beginning. You're my one and only. You're it for me, Luz. I love you so much. I have everything I need when I'm with you. It hurts that you aren't listening. That you don't believe me."
"I'm listening. But you keep contradicting yourself." Luz huffs, pushing Amity off to stand up. Amity watches, heartbroken as tears well up in her eyes.
"Contradicting myself?
"You keep… texting her." She quickly gets dressed, pulling her pants back on. "You pay so much attention to
I feel like there's never any time for
anymore. And now you're telling her our
She pulls her shirt over her head as she's walking to the dresser to grab her jacket. Amity's too heartbroken to even process what she's saying right now, but she suddenly realizes that Luz is
and about to
"Babe, no!" Amity cries, jumping out of bed to launch herself onto Luz, holding her as tight as she can to stop her. "Don't go. Don't leave. I'm sorry!"
"Let me go," she groans, shoving her off but Amity clutches back onto her with full force. She holds her with everything inside of herself but Luz has always been too much, too strong for her. Amity was small and easy to use, but Luz wasn't. She holds onto her arm, her jacket when she pulls away. "Get off of me, please. I need space."
"Where are you going?" She asks shakily, weakly wrapping her arms around her as she follows her out of the bedroom. Luz pushes her off and Amity nearly stumbles.
She's about to open the door and leave when she stops to look condescendingly at Amity. "... Put some clothes on. You look ridiculous."
Amity recoils, tears streaming down her cheeks. She crosses her arms over her chest to cover herself, looking away with shame. "W—why do I look ridiculous?" She asks bitterly.
Luz just rolls her eyes, turning to leave but Amity holds her back with her last bit of strength. Sniffling, she says quietly,
But Luz pushes her off without a word and leaves, knowing that Amity wouldn't try to follow her since she was naked. She numbly watches her go, shutting and locking the door. She goes back into the bedroom and weakly gets back into bed, hugging a pillow tightly to her chest. She doesn't want to be naked if it's not with Luz, but she doesn't have anything left in her to get dressed. For the first few seconds, nothing except burning anger swirls in her chest, and then a stream of hot tears roll down her cheeks as she sobs.
This is all Sabrina's fault for sending that text, tearing them apart. She
Sabrina.
She jerkily grabs her phone to check the message again. She doesn't know why Luz got so upset over it. She opens their chat and she sees their previous messages.
And then the one that did this.
She doesn't understand. What did Luz see? Why was she so mad? Why did she leave her? How could she just…
How could the love of her life, who says she loves her too, just walk out?
Maybe
is the problem.
Somehow in her Luz infested brain, she twists herself into the villain. She
been neglecting Luz, hasn't she? Oh god, she's such a terrible girlfriend. Maybe it was Amity the whole time. Maybe she caused the problems, earns herself the pain.
She's got to do something about this.
The next day at work, Sabrina greets her in the cafeteria during lunch time. "Hey, lucky girl," she grins, laughing good naturedly like a
"You forgot to text me last night!"
Amity glares coldly at her. "Don't talk to me." She pushes passed her to leave. She deflects her and avoids her all day, all the way up until it's time to leave around eleven that night, she's looking for the key to unlock her car when Sabrina slaps her on the shoulder.
"What is wrong with you?" She screams. Amity tries to ignore her and yanks open the car door, climbing in and trying to pull it shut after her, but Sabrina catches it. "Did I do something?"
Amity watches her, ashamed. She has to make her decision. "We can't be friends anymore," she hesitates. "Something's come up."
Sabrina crosses her arms, glaring at Amity sternly. "You mean your controlling-assed girlfriend told you to stop hanging out with me?"
"You don't know her. She's
controlling," she starts the car, yanking the door closed. "And it's
of your business."
"It
my business if it's ruining
friendship. She doesn't get to tell you what to do, Amity! You don't have to listen to her!"
She clutches onto the steering wheel, robotically opens her mouth to fight back, to prove herself. Searching for the one thing that could magically validate their relationship, the one thing that would make it all okay.
She's tired of hiding. Making up excuses for them. For her.
What kind of person must she look like? She already feels incredibly stupid in her head, but being seen, in public, it's even worse that Sabrina knows. She figured it out faster than Amity did in three years.
She isn't ready to let go. Not yet.
And now, there really isn't an excuse for this anymore. There's nothing really that Amity can say, except that she's ridiculously, helplessly obsessed with it, and she
it. And she's willingly throwing herself back into the fire.
She guesses that no one else is there for her like Luz is. Luz is her world... her one and only. And… nothing else matters.
Sabrina doesn't matter.
Amity looks at her numbly, shakily reaching to roll the window up, blocking her out. She looks away then, because she can't stand to look her in the eye as she makes a very stupid decision. She's such a bad person. She's so fucked up.
She pulls her mind back together to focus on functioning this car so that she can pull out as her friend watches her in bitter disbelief, leaving her alone in the parking lot.
Amity feels lonely again. But that's okay. Some people just weren't worth keeping in your life. Some people, you just had to cut out.
She's getting on the freeway to Luz's apartment when her phone lights up from the cup holder. A call from Sabrina. Without a moment of hesitation, she absentmindedly sends her to voicemail, and then her afterthought is to delete and block her number.
Out of sight, out of mind. Amity deleted her from her life, forever. She wasn't going to let her distract her from getting back to Luz. She
to get back to her. Everything would be better now that she had nothing in her way.
When she gets there, she rushes through the well furnished lobby to get to the elevator, every step bringing her one second closer to the love of her life.
Third floor, apartment number two-hundred-three. Amity knocks rapidly on the door, pounding and banging the barrier between her and her girlfriend. The door eventually opens, and there's Luz standing there with a hint of shock in her confused expression.
"Hi, Luzita," Amity chokes out affectionately, all but launching herself into Luz's arms. Luz stumbles to catch her, closing the door behind them. "You were right, about everything, you were right all along," she pants.
"Woahwoahwoah," she breathes, still caught off guard. "What are you… what do you mean?"
Amity blinks, pulling back to sincerely look into Luz's eyes, clutching two handfuls of her sweatshirt. "I broke everything off. I'm not friends with her anymore. I don't… we don't, …you were right." with that, Luz seems to relax, and something about it makes Amity bitter. "I'm so sorry, I—I neglected you," she desperately reaches up to hold her face, searching urgently for forgiveness in her girlfriend's eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey. It's okay," she reassures her with a velvety smooth, sweet tone. Amity's mouth drops open with astonishment and desire, the incredulous guilt she feels for being so intensely obsessed with Luz Noceda. She's a complete mess. It's a little embarrassing.
She delights to feel Luz's warm, firm hand coming up to hold her face as well, relieved and stressed and everything else all at once. "Fuck. I feel like shit," Luz groans, and after a decisive moment, she presses a deep kiss to Amity's lips. Bemused, she melts into it, willingly giving herself up to the fairytale whimsy and romance of her girlfriend kissing her
She moans, stumbling back against the counter as Luz drives her back, her waist bumping painfully into the corner of it. She just wants to be close. She just wants Luz to forgive her. She's split into two over this whole thing, and really, Luz isn't helping. She made a shitty wrong move to be here right now. And she really shouldn't. She really should've left Luz alone. She should have moved on from this. From her.
But as Luz's hands slip down her back to hold firmly and astonishingly over butt, she feels momentarily indignant. This is
but she makes out with her anyways, and lets her hands slide down to the back of her knees to lift her up onto the counter to sit perfectly like her little toy, weaving perfectly right back into her trap again.
Amity briefly breaks the kiss to look at Luz, her eyes begging the question again. She wraps her arms firmly around her neck, desperate. "W—what's wrong?" she asks shakily.
Luz looks hesitant, almost.
she swallows, whispering softly.
"You didn't?" Amity is unbelieving, kissing her deeply for a quick moment.
Luz goes quiet, weakly kissing her back with slow, tentative pecks.
she rests her hand on the counter behind Amity, leaning in deeper as she stands comfortably between her legs.
Amity's heart thunders in her chest, dread settling in. She pulls Luz in tighter.
Luz freezes.
"I'll never talk to her again. I'll never look at her again. I'll leave the show.
Whatever you want."
"Fuck, Amity," she tries to pull back, but Amity only holds her
"You
to leave."
"I'm
leaving. Not ever." her hands slips up to hold the back of her neck, pushing her into a deep, passionate kiss. She moans into it upon feeling Luz's hand on her waist, something so hot and possessive about it turning her on. Anything for this. She's always up for the challenge. She scoots to the edge of the counter so that she's pressed firmly against her girlfriend's body, slowly and jerkily rolling her hips into her, grinding for anything she can get.
They get so wrapped up, in fact, that when Amity pulls away with a wet smack, Luz looks a pleasant and priceless mix of shocked and disappointed. She feels slightly hysterical, so her weird emotions don't surprise her. She's ready to relax and get comfortable with her girlfriend.
Sliding back up fully onto the counter to jump down on the other side in the kitchen, she kneels to dig through Luz's stupid mini-fridge. She finds a case of Orange Wheat beers. She'd never really had beer before, but alcohol was alcohol and she was just too sober for this. Taking two out and shutting the fridge, she sets one down on the counter to attempt to open it with her bare hands.
Luz nods, a delirious laugh finds its way out of the confusion and guilt. She comes into the kitchen and digs through her cutlery drawer for a bottle opener. Finding it, she watches Amity for one more moment before bursting out into laughter. She leans in to kiss sweetly on her neck.
she laughs quietly.
Amity bites her lip, feeling Luz's hot breath on her skin. Trembling, she hands it over to her so she can open it with the bottle opener. She pulls away, effortlessly pops the bottle cap off like she's done this one thousand times before. "Wow," she says breathlessly, picking it up to sniff the strong beverage while she watches Luz open up the other bottle for herself.
And, Luz doesn't hesitate to take a large sip, so Amity doesn't either. She wants to impress her, so she takes a big drink from the bottle, instantly recoiling. It burns her nose and tongue and taste buds and it's
Like, stupid strong. Eyes watering and under the watchful eye of her girlfriend, she forces herself to swallow it. "Drink the whole thing. Don't waste it." She says sternly.
"Okay, babe," she forces herself another sip, about halfway through the bottle now. "W—why don't we go watch some TV?"
They end up on the couch, oddly spaced apart, both of them on either end. Amity keeps stealing glances at her cute, pretty princess. She's so amazing. She wants to be in her arms, kissing her. She wants to get fucked.
Amity bites her lip, rushing to take another sip of her beer when she sees Luz drink hers. She can't think such crude things. It's so absurd. It's too much. But she can't deny it. What was she doing here? She wants her hands on her body, her mouth, kissing her and biting her and pleasuring her so good, making her come so hard. She blinks, noticing when Luz has caught her staring.
She grumbles.
"Nothing. I…" she pushes through the pain. "I love you, so much."
"Stop saying that."
Amity looks away. After a moment, she feels the beer finally starting to do its job, relaxing her tense muscles and strengthening her resolve. She sets her bottle down on the floor, and it immediately falls over, beer spilling out and soaking into the carpet. But she doesn't care.
She tries to crawl onto Luz's lap, but she pushes her off. Amity's shivers, fighting back tears as she squeezes her eyes shut tightly, searching through her blurry mind for what to do next. She can't think straight. Ugh.
"What's wrong?" She asks finally. "Is something bothering you, Luz?"
"Yeah! I feel like absolute shit for everything, and everything you did, and this is all my fault!" She watches Amity for some validation, some comfort, anything.
"This isn't your fault," she says halfheartedly. "It's my fault. I'm the one who… who made that decision.
decided to stop being friends with her."
"But that's really shitty. And I admit. I never want you to have friends, ever. I don't want you talking to anyone if it's not me. I get upset when you talk to your siblings, dammit."
Amity gets partly angry, partly sad. She should tell Luz how that's not okay, how that's wrong and, … and
But all she can focus on right now is making things right, so she says, "That's fine, babe. I understand."
"I'm jealous about everything! And I try to hide it but it's so hard sometimes." Her eyes get watery.
"I know, babe," Amity's voice cracks, and hesitantly, she tries again to get close to Luz. When she doesn't push her away, she nuzzles comfortably into her neck from the side, wrapping her arms around her. "But it wasn't your fault. I made that decision to stop being friends. That's the price I'm willing to pay.
she sobs.
Luz sniffles. "Stop trying to make this okay. It's not okay."
"I know," she says, her voice watery. She wants nothing more than to be close to her. She shifts to lay long ways on the couch, pulling Luz down on top of her by the shoulders. Tentatively, she allows herself to be pulled down and buries her face into Amity's neck.
It's quiet for a long time.
"You know how I know we're meant to be?" Amity asks.
"How?"
She smiles sadly, raising up her hand for Luz to lace their fingers together. "Look, you can feel it for yourself. How do you feel right now?"
"... Terrible. And really comfortable, like I could go to sleep."
"Exactly." she tries to sound cheerful through the tears. "Do you feel safe, and like you could stay just like this, forever in my arms, and you'd be completely happy with it for the rest of your life?"
"Yeah."
"Me too." she melts underneath her, feeling warm and happy beneath the gnawing shame and guilt. "It just makes sense. We go together. I know everything will be okay. Alright Luz?"
"Okay…" she agrees eagerly, desperate for some consolation.
"I don't care what mistakes you've made. I don't care how our lives will change because of it. All I want is you, and I'll do whatever it takes."
They have make up sex that night. It makes everything better, for now and for the rest of their perfect lives together. Acknowledging the problem is better than nothing, and tonight Amity feels like they got a little farther than usual. Anyways, her communication muscles are stretched and strained for a long while.
She thinks it helped. This feels like new beginnings.
Things will change. This is better. Now that Sabrina is out of the picture, Amity can try to get everything back on track.
Not… exactly better.
Amity groans sulkily, looking at all her new bruises in the mirror. Her entire body looks so tattered and weak, used so recklessly to its very core. She imagines Luz, practically feels her hands burning on her skin, her teeth pulling her apart, her lips kissing it all better, even if it still bleeds.
She
almost like a toy in that sense, and she guesses that if this was what she's for, she's been put to good use. Her scars were proof that she has fulfilled her owner's amusements, done what she had been made to do.
Used and stolen from. Amity pulls herself back together and somehow finds it in herself to keep loving her, keep going back to her and letting her take everything. At least now it's sweeter and much softer, the let down. When Luz takes, it's gentler somehow. She can't really describe why.
She bites her lip, because it helps ease the ache a little bit. When she touches a particularly dark spot on the center of her neck and shoulder, it stings with an ominous kind of pain. Luz bit her here, hard. She usually does there, and she guesses that's why it's become such a deep bruise, because the skin was constantly being broken and reopened. It was Luz's favorite spot, and so it was Amity's too.
Behind her shoulders are sensitive where Luz scratches her, long scrapes of broken skin all along her back. It makes sense, and if Amity is honest with herself, she quite likes those. She likes to be injured during sex, when nothing else matters except Luz, and that this is what she was made for. She likes feeling the pain, hiding the hickeys, being sore when she walks. She likes all of it so much, because it reminds her of the person she loves, and that tonight, they'd do it all again.
—
They're drunk.
They're having sex. It's weird, it's sloppy, but they love each other. She can't really remember how much she drank. But she regrets it. She regrets it so much.
She really needs to stop drinking, because wow, her head is pounding. Dammit. All she wants to do is eat her cute little girlfriend out, but she actually can't do anything.
There's a black border around her vision. She's drinking a glass of water that Amity brought her from the living room and takes four aspirin. Her mouth tastes citrusy and sweet as she kisses Amity again for round two.
Everything feels so far away. Her and Amity were just deeply making out and now they're giggling violently about something? She can't even remember what it was that was so funny.
Then Luz pulls out her phone and starts
Her thought process is,
It's not everyday that
happens. Especially not for someone like Luz Noceda.
And besides, Amity is really sexy. She's standing on her knees between her legs, teasing at her clit with an index and middle finger, and Amity's little cries are just too hot
to film.
"Does it feel
good?" Luz remembers giggling, zooming in on the affected area that her fingers work to please, and the screen is filled with her rolling hips, her cute sex glistening wet and rubbing against her for the most delicious frictions.
Her fingers slip inside, between her soft folds and Amity lets out an especially loud whimper. She thrusts her fingers in and out, and Amity starts to rock her hips against it, up and down to pull her deep inside and whining when she pulls back out, pressing up tightly against her clit. Luz experimentally tries to open her fingers like a pair of scissors inside her, only to give an interesting show for the camera. But it makes Amity yelp in pain, and her hand comes into view to stop Luz.
Luz pulls out and what's left is Amity's deflowered sex, soaking wet and desperate for more.
That's where the video ends. But from there, everything crumbles.
Her next thought is,
And, she posts it. It starts off as a joke to scare Amity, and at first she understands why that would be a bad thing to do. But as the minutes drip by, she loses that common sense. She starts to think, why
she post it? It's funny and hot. People would enjoy seeing it.
She posts it, and immediately after, a cold wave of dread washes over her. So she deletes it. There was probably thirty seconds in between those two decisions, enough time for a decent amount of people to see it or scroll past it.
When they wake up to tabloids, missed calls from managers and a public statement from Disney, things really start to settle in.
Amity cries. For a long time, she cries and pushes Luz away when she tries to comfort her. That hurts the most.
Amity leaves and she doesn't come back. And Luz knew this would happen, that she'd end up getting left.
she sighs, hanging up the voicemail for the tenth time that evening. She hadn't heard from Amity in three weeks. It was really starting to drive her crazy. Her deep disappointment gradually turned into anger over the days. Angry that she'd let herself down to this.
It was inevitable that something stupid like this would happen, and the whole world would know their little secret. She just didn't expect it to be her fault.
Another two weeks go by and Luz gets nothing. She realizes that she's a waste of a person, sort of. She never really had anything to do outside of work, then coming home to mess with Amity. That was her stupid little routine, but she loved it. Now, she doesn't know what to do with herself.
She's laying in bed, curled up in a ball under her blanket as she watches TV, keeps spamming Amity with call after call. How dare she not answer. She can't believe it's been so long and she still hasn't cracked.
It's becoming unbearable. She can't process any of it. This morning, she got dropped from her agency. She never checked the tabloids since the first day. She can't imagine how much shit must be going on in the big wide world of the internet.
She's glad her mom isn't really an internet person. She wouldn't know. Luz would have to be the one to tell her about all this when she was ready. But first, she needed some reassurance from Amity.
She needed to know that she still wanted to be together. She needed to know that they were good.
Luz needs to fix this. She takes the velvet box out of her dresser, the one containing the ring she planned to propose to Amity with. It's perfect, just like her. This would be her apology. This would make it all better.
She just needs to find her. She wouldn't rush in with the proposal right away. She needs to see her first.
Luz doesn't have a spare key or anything to Amity's apartment. But she did know how to pick a lock, something she learned about in high school. It's… wrong, but it's her only choice. And if she wasn't there, then the only place left she could be was at her mom's house. But Luz remembers their… complicated relationship, so it was unlikely.
Luz gets dressed and grabs a handful of bobby-pins, her phone, jacket and car keys. She eyes the ring box still sitting on her dresser, wonders briefly if she should bring it. It's probably better to wait until they're clear.
Picking Amity's lock is easy, but it doesn't make her feel any less guilty. She tries to hurry so anyone passing by wouldn't see her trying to break into her girlfriend's apartment. It was necessary. Amity had been avoiding her, and Luz doesn't like being ignored. She wants Amity to acknowledge her, always.
The living room is a complete mess. There's empty wrappers and dirty dishes piled in the sink. Luz quietly closes the door behind her and locks it, softly setting her keys down on the counter. By the looks of it, she already knows that Amity is in bed, asleep probably. It's been a while since she'd been in this apartment. So many good… bad memories.
Luz rolls her eyes when she finds that she is right, finding Amity wrapped up in her blanket, her TV on low volume. She comes to her side of the bed, examining the empty cans and bottles crowded on her nightstand. There's her phone, face down. No wonder she hadn't picked up at all.
Luz puts a gentle hand on her shoulder and shakes her awake. Immediately, she gasps awake, dread filling her eyes when she realizes who it is. She sits bolt upright in bed, glaring.
"How did you get in here?!"
Luz looks away, not ready to admit that yet. "Why haven't you been answering my calls?"
Amity watches her, eyes watering. "I don't have to talk to you ever again if I don't want to."
"I've been trying to call you. You didn't let me explain myself," Luz swallows, moving to sit on the bed but Amity kicks her back. She groans, grabbing her foot before she pulls it away, daring her with her eyes.
"What is there to explain, Luz? You ruined everything. You took everything away from me. I don't have anything left," she lets out a sob. "You ruined our careers. You destroyed any chance we had at anything."
"You can't say that. I was drunk. You were too." She launches herself on top of Amity, trapping her on the bed. She screams as she straddles her hips and wraps her arms tightly around her back, making sure she wouldn't be going anywhere.
"Get. Off. Of. Me." She growls. "Get the hell out of here, Luz!"
"No." She sighs close to her ear. "I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. We need to talk about this."
"No! There's nothing to talk about! I don't want to see you ever again! What else do you want from me?! You have everything," she cries, panting. "I don't know… what else you want from me!"
"You're right, Amity. I took everything. This is my fault. I take full accountability for that. I took so much of your time. I took you for granted. I took advantage of you. I abused you. But I'm not letting you go. I want you by my side, always." She feels Amity give up underneath her, letting Luz hold her tighter as she sobs.
"I picked the lock," she blurts out. "I came in unwanted because it was driving me crazy that you weren't talking to me. I'm a loser. I just wanted to see you again. I missed you so, so much." She nuzzles into her neck, her soft skin. She forgot what it felt like to be with her, on her, so close like this.
"You're a
psycho. You need to leave." Amity squirms, writhing under her weight. "I don't want you, Luz. I don't want to do this anymore. I was so foolish for… for years. I was so blinded."
"You love me."
"I love you so much," she says shakily, exhaling slowly. "That's why this
to stop. Something like this was bound to happen. And we both knew that."
"It doesn't matter. I don't care."
"I care, Luz. This is my life, and you took it away from me. I'm through with you. I can't… continue on like this. You're such a," she sniffles. "You're a really bad person."
"I know. I'm sick. I need to get better. But I need your help."
"I've been trying to help you for the past four years. I don't want to do it anymore. I can't love you anymore. I'm just going to keep getting hurt."
"Stop saying that. I'm trying to change. I'm trying to be the way you want me to be. I'm trying to be good for
"Stop acting like you're the victim." She says bitterly, and she strains herself trying to get free from underneath Luz. "Let me go, you maniac," she groans violently. Luz only cuddles closer, holding her tighter.
"You're not the victim either. You're just as bad as me. We both need help."
"How dare you compare me to you. I'm nothing like you. You
me, multiple times."
Luz blinks. "What? I
rape you. Don't even say that!" She yelps when Amity bites her neck, but it's not in the way she hoped.
"Get off of me! I have every right to be upset with you! Tell me I'm right!"
Luz pants, struggling to keep Amity from squirming and writhing out of her grasp. "You're right! You're completely right! I totally understand where you're coming from, but listen to me." She pins her shoulders to the bed, keeping her arms down with her forearms. They stare at each other for a moment, and Luz finally gets a good look at her Amity's face again. She's so beautiful, even when she's hysterical or in agony, tears streaming down her face. "We have to stick together through this. We need each other!"
"I don't need you." Amity dares to say. "I've never needed you." She gets her arm free, enough to reach up and scratch Luz in the face. Luz laughs bitterly and rubs at the sensitive skin as it pulses with pain.
"You're pathetic for even saying that." She sniffs, pressing her deeper into the mattress. Amity screams, twisting and turning and trying to get free, but Luz is just too strong. "How can you tell me, that you've never needed me, when I've seen you at your worst, and you let me put you there?"
"You took advantage of me!" She sputters when Luz's hair dangles in her face. "You forced me into so many things I
wanted to do. You
me!"
"And I'm sorry!"
"Sorry isn't going to cut it this time, Luz. You can't fix this with a kiss. We can't get our jobs back by having sex. We can't do anything about it this time."
Luz watches her incredulously for a moment, and they stop wrestling with each other.
I've been trying to talk to you for a
She leans over slightly to snatch her phone from the nightstand, tapping the screen on. Right there on the homescreen is,
and all of the texts she sent.
"No. I didn't plan to ever talk to you again, that's why."
Luz looks at her again. There's no way that's true. She gets a bitter smile on her face. "You didn't just plan to go cold turkey on me, did you?"
"It's the only way I'd ever get over you." She admits quietly. Luz thinks, setting her phone back down on the nightstand. She leans down to brush their lips together, and it's warm and sweet and soft and everything Luz has longed for.
She kisses her gently, and is surprised when Amity hesitantly, shakily kisses back. As soon as it starts, their soft, quiet pecks, Amity's groaning and squirming to push Luz off. "I'm never going to get over you, either."
"Don't do this to me, Luz. Please." She trembles.
Luz sighs and buries her face into her neck again. "I want to be together. Please. Give me another chance. I'll do anything to make it up to you."
"There's absolutely nothing, in the whole world that you can do." She says slowly, and it shatters Luz's heart. "You never cared about me. You never—,"
"Yes I did. I do. Stop saying that about me."
"No you didn't. You
loved me. All you wanted was sex. And you got it. So why can't you leave me
alone?"
"I get it, Amity. I'm a shitty person. But you saw past that, that's why I loved you. That's why I
love you. You made me feel wanted. You made me feel normal."
"You just wanted validation for your terrible behavior. You
sick. But
was blinded by the sex, Luz. I wanted sex more than anything because… you made me feel so good. I couldn't see that you're such a dangerous person to enable that with. And you're right. I let you."
"I don't care, Amity. If you want sex then I'll give it to you. Just let me be with you. Just stay with me."
It goes quiet, and after a moment, Amity chuckled sharply. "Isn't
ironic?"
"I don't care."
"They dropped me from the company. I can't act ever again."
"I got dropped too," Luz holds her close. "That's okay. We'll start over. We have a chance to be normal people. We'll get normal jobs and do normal stuff. We don't have to worry about this life anymore." She says softly.
She whimpers, finally reciprocating the hug and wrapping her arms around Luz's back and pulling her in as close as possible.
"I love
and I promise I'll make this right. We'll get through it together. I swear. Let me be better for you."
"Get out of here with that shit. Everything you say is empty. You're a liar. I've known you long enough to know that you're just…" she trails off, helplessly flustered looking into Luz's eyes again when she pulls away to look at her. "You don't want to be better. You just want to hurt me and fuck me."
she whispers, kissing her lips deeply, getting her confirmation when Amity pushes in to deepen it. She hears her take a deep breath through her nose, slipping a hand up the side of her face and into her hair, the way she always does, the way Luz likes.
"You still have that same effect on me," she says, convicted as Luz pulls away to unbutton her jacket to take it off. She tosses it away, leaning back in to kiss her girlfriend for all those weeks she missed, passionate and searching for forgiveness. She hopes Amity finds it in herself to forgive her. She made a really big mistake, but they can get past anything. They're just that kind of couple. They can recover. They can be better.
Amity slips her hand up Luz's bare arm, hanging on to her shoulder and melting under her soft but fervent kisses, moaning and rocking her hips in a sensual rhythm with Luz's body. They're both getting hot, and Luz pulls away to take off Amity's shirt, but she stops her, breathless. "Stop. I don't want to have sex with you."
Luz looks away, biting her lip. She feels really stupid. "Why not?"
"I don't want this anymore. Please, just listen to me, Luz. Get out of here." She begs, at her mercy. "Please. Leave me alone."
"I'm not leaving. I'm staying here with you," she tries to kiss her neck, but Amity pulls her away by her hair. "Please. Let me stay. "
Amity looks at her, begging and pleading to be left alone. Her eyes full with tears, and they stream down her cheeks as she cries. Luz sighs, wiping them away with her thumb. "Don't cry. I want to help you." She hugs her.
She says, her voice watery. "I don't have a choice, do I? I don't get to tell you to stay away."
"You don't want me to leave. You want me to stay." Luz insists like a cry baby, on the verge of tears herself. "You still love me."
"I can never stop loving you. You'll always be the hole in my heart." She sniffles.
So Luz stays. She sleeps on the couch to give Amity her space. She brings food for her everyday, cleans up the living room and she makes up Amity's bed on days that she
get out of it. She doesn't know if Amity wants her still, but the fact that she's even here is probably a good sign.
It's been about another week when Amity finally cracks. It's around eleven and Luz is relaxing on the couch, watching TV when she hears Amity calling her.
She rushes into the room and finds her looking flustered. "Everything okay?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Yes. I'm fine." She raises up the cover, biting her lip. "... Do you want to cuddle?"
she says breathlessly, and she doesn't waste a second to get in bed and cuddle up behind Amity, holding her around her waist and tangling their legs together.
"... I'm feeling a little lonely… is all. And," she pauses hesitantly. "I want you to kiss me. I miss your kisses."
Luz smiles, a secret and victorious one just for herself. "I can kiss you," she says deviously, her voice low and smooth next to her ear. "But… what's the catch?"
"N—no strings attached," she shivers at the feeling of a soft kiss on the back of her neck, and Luz sits up slightly to press light kisses up the side of her neck from her shoulder. "Just some friendly, easy breezy kissing."
"Oh, nice." She hums, amused. She makes it up to her ear again, and she experimentally licks around the shell of it, whispering,
Amity moans. Luz rests a hand on her hip, leaning over her to kiss her jaw. "I wanted to talk to you, about something. But you have to listen to me," she squeaks, feeling Luz's tongue along her neck. "Okay?"
"Of course,
She purrs, smoothly climbing over her to lay face to face with Amity. She looks shocked, to be so close like they always did. She doesn't know what changed, or that they were ever really
and Luz is admittedly guilty for possibly weighing in on her decision. But you could only say no to temptation for so long.
Amity reaches up to gently hold her face, looking contemplatively into her eyes, searching for an answer. "You know everything I said to you was true, right?"
"About me being a terrible person?" She snorts. "Yeah."
Amity looks sympathetic, but stern. "You are. You fucking suck. And you're really bad for me. But you're the only one I want." She grins, burying her face in her neck. "And I need you more than ever. You've gotten me through a lot, babe. I need your love."
"I have so much to give," Luz says, breathless again, stroking her hair. A wave of relief washes over her, and things start to look bright again. Her career and public image may be destroyed, but at least she has her Amity. "I love you. With all my heart."
"I'm going to get myself killed doing this with you. But at least I'll die happy." She half-jokes, kissing Luz's neck softly. "I'm stuck. I can never move on from this, or …from you. I can't live without you, Luz. I want you in my life."
"I
you in my life." She tilts her chin up and gives her a quick kiss to test the waters, and when Amity returns it, it's like a dream come true. The rest of the night is filled with many more kisses, hickeys, and romantic, passionate sex. The best she'd been in a while.
She wakes up in the morning feeling satisfied but guilty as hell.
But Amity doesn't give up on life. She gets up and dusts herself off and tries again. She's always looking online for open jobs, empty slots, staff needed. Luz wonders, how can she even? How can she ever forgive the one person who ruined her whole life? She wouldn't even forgive herself. She hasn't.
Luz convinced Amity to get out of the apartment every once and a while. She had been so plagued, so worried over being recognized out in public for the wrong thing that she'd abandoned even going out all together.
When she absolutely
to go out, she took safety measures and dramatic precautions. That's why she got her car windows tinted. That's why she even started to let her hair grow back to it's natural dark brown to blend herself back in with the crowd. She stopped buying the green hair dye and she started to wear big hats and fancy sunglasses—anything to obscure her face. It made Luz a little worried.
She was scaring her, really, acting so paranoid about it. So she told Amity that she'd protect her, and she wouldn't let anything happen. She wouldn't let any photos be taken, wouldn't let her be recognized. That was something she couldn't even promise herself, but she has to be sure for Amity's sake.
She told her to leave the hat, leave the sunglasses, and they'd go out to eat somewhere. Like normal people.
It made her feel guilty, but most prevalent, loved, that Amity trusted her again. She loved having her close, hearing her voice, feeling her kiss, and she started thinking more and more about that ring she bought all that time ago. She couldn't wait any longer. She wanted to propose to Amity Blight
and make her her wife.
Today, they're back at the Santa Monica pier. It's a beautiful, sunny day, a perfect day to get married—or, propose at least. Luz keeps the ring in her car in the glove box so she'd be ready whenever she worked up the nerve.
She doesn't know what possessed her, but for some reason this seemed like the perfect time. She feels like she should be nervous, but truly she isn't. Partly because she knows Amity's going to say yes and partly because she doesn't really mind if she doesn't.
Amity's looking out over the pier, admiring the clear blue water and its gentle waves, the seagulls that fly over toward the setting sun. Her pretty hair blows gently in the wind. Luz is nervous. She thinks she wants to do it now. There's a decent stream of people passing by, so she subtly pulls Amity down to an outlook over the water. "I kind of want to jump in," Amity jokes, resting her elbows on the rail and laughing.
Luz laughs along robotically, struggling to feel for the ring in her pocket, just to make sure. It's there. Time to execute. She glances over at the entrance to the outlook, making sure there's low foot traffic. She casually leans on the rail beside Amity, playfully bumping into her. "I have to say. It
beautiful." She grins knowingly at her. "But… you're prettier."
Amity glares at her, wrinkling her nose. "How
you." she giggles, dropping her head on her shoulder. Luz wraps her arm around her back, and for a quiet, peaceful moment, they listen to the waves lapping against the pier. "Thank you for being the love of my life," she says so quietly that Luz almost misses it.
"It's my pleasure." She insists playfully. "You know, we probably
have sex on this beach. Remember you wanted to do that?"
remember that?" Amity groans, embarrassedly turning to bury her face into Luz's chest.
"Of course I do," she sways her gently, stroking her back. Amity wraps her arms around her waist, groaning exaggeratedly. "You know, even
wanted to."
"Shut up." Amity pouts, leaning up to kiss Luz's lips, ever so gently. It's a soft, sweet kiss, but it only makes Luz more determined to wife her. She's ready. Amity is watching her dreamily, and Luz is glad to just stare into her eyes like this forever, the sunset reflecting the sky. But she needs a segue… a… a distraction.
Luz gasps, looking over her shoulder. "Oh, I think I saw a dolphin,"
"Where?" Amity whirls around. Luz puts her hands on her shoulders, guiding her to the edge of the pier. She points somewhere off into the distance, just to buy herself some time.
After a moment, she turns to Luz, an eyebrow raised. "I don't see anything."
"A—Amity?"
"What?"
"I wanted to ask you something, real quick," she leans in to kiss her softly and she feels Amity kiss back slowly with confusion. She's so cute and amazing. She absolutely wants to marry this girl. She pulls away and clears her throat, stepping back slightly. Amity watches her and she sees the moment that it dawns on her as she slowly lowers down on one knee.
"Luz, what are you doing?" She whispers, and her voice cracks a bit as she blinks away the tears stinging her eyes.
"I'm not sure," Luz sighs, reaching back to pull the ring box out of her pocket.
she chuckles to herself, looking down at the thing that would probably ruin her life. She looks up at Amity and she's crying, silent tears rolling down her cheeks and her hands are clasped stupidly over her mouth.
And… what the hell is she supposed to say to this girl? Was it normal that she inevitably fell in love with her fuck buddy of four years and is now
to her? Should she have prepared a heartfelt speech to go along with it? Really, she doesn't have anything to say to her. She's sorry for putting her in such a jacked up situation like this one because nothing about this relationship should have even correlated to
But Luz is an idiot and she partly doesn't understand feelings. It's run through her head multiple times that maybe what she's feeling isn't love and just a long winded infatuation instead. She's smitten with Amity— she's beautiful and the most breathtaking girl she's ever met. She feels slightly stupid about the irony of the whole thing, how all of this only started as a revenge quest of jealousy, and now she's down on one knee in front of her, helplessly in love (or not).
She flips the box open and holds it up to her sobbing girlfriend, revealing the admittedly cheapest ring she could find. It's not like it was ugly or subpar because it was over six hundred dollars, but as far as Luz is concerned, anything is good enough for Amity when it's coming from her. "Amity Blight?" She offers her a bright smile.
"Y—Yes, my love?" She chokes out under her heavy tears, grabbing onto the rail behind her.
"I…" she briefly looks away. "Will you marry me?"
Amity nods, unable to speak words. Luz jumps up to her feet and pulls her into a tight hug as she sobs into her shoulder. "I love you. I'll marry you. Of course I will." She chokes, and Luz thinks to herself,
.
Pulling back, she takes the ring out of the box and hastily shoves it back in her pocket. "Can I put it on you?"
Amity nods and she holds out her pretty little hand, Luz holding it gently to slip the ring on her middle finger. She is relieved that it fits perfectly, somewhere in the back of her mind. She's leaning in to kiss her new fiancé again when she notices her terrified gaze over her shoulder. "What's wrong?" She pulls her in and turns to look around, and to her dismay there is a crowd of passersby cheering and taking pictures from the outlook entrance. Of course. Why didn't Luz think of this before? People
proposals.
"Hey! No pictures!" She waves them off. "Be right back," she tells Amity before leaving her to meet with the crowd. "No pictures, please! Delete all those,
Thank you!" She slouches as the crowd disperses. Hopefully
doesn't mean anything. Hopefully no one posts those. Heh.
Luz is a bit paranoid for the rest of the time, and Amity is too, but she's trying to stay distracted. They go to that seafood restaurant that she now knows is a Red Lobster. Normal people sit opposite each other at a dinner table, but because Amity had just been proposed to, and because they are everything but normal, they sit side by side so that she can rest on her fiancé and gush over her ring.
She's just glad it all worked out. This was it. She fixed the problem. Everything's… better? She can pretend that she hadn't drunkenly released a sex tape onto Twitter for about ten seconds and simultaneously ruined her and her girlfriend's humanity. That was all fine, because at least they would be getting married now. Right?
They're resting in bed together after their long, eventful day at the pier, at which Amity had gotten more than she expected. Amity is cuddled close to Luz, resting her head on her chest, her hand laid flat so she can stare at her ring like it's going to change or something.
she says softly, leaning up to kiss her on the chin. "I love it."
"More than me?" She asks teasingly, relaxed and content, having everything she could possibly want as Luz Noceda. She's got her beautiful bride-to-be in her arms, she's comfortable, a bit stuffy—but she had plans for later if Amity wanted.
"Of course not," she lightly hits her arm, giggling. "I'm just… really happy. I've been waiting patiently for this day." She closes her eyes, breathing evenly. "I can't wait to marry you."
"I can't wait to marry
she insists playfully, sitting up and she looks at her with a glint in her eyes. Amity watches her anxiously. "Do you want to, I dunno. Make our engagement official?"
"Yes," she bites her lip. She's the first one to lean in and kiss her, deeply. "I think we should seal the deal." She moans. Luz laughs, pushing the kiss
and holding Amity's shoulder.
"Seal our fate?"
"Save the date. We'll get married in spring,—" she suddenly gasps, a great question bestowing her. She pushes Luz away, much to her disappointment.
"Do you want to have a wedding?" She asks excitedly.
Luz hums. "Not really. I mean, we don't want to be public. I don't think most people would approve of us…" she trails off, slightly shattering Amity's heart, even if she knows she's right.
"You're right," she sighs, burying her face in her neck softly, wanting to be closer to her fiancé. "My parents wouldn't like this either."
Luz looks away, guilty. She hesitates before saying, "...My mom
doesn't know that I'm with anyone."
Amity blinks, pulling back to glare at Luz incredulously, her heart shattering into twenty thousand more pieces than before. Why hadn't she told her? Was she never important enough to mention? "Luz! It's been
She slaps her stupid face very lightly, just enough to sting—still somehow very affectionately despite how annoyed she feels. "You
told her?!"
Luz pouts and rubs tenderly at her cheek where Amity hit her, whining. "No?" She looks away. "Was I supposed to?"
She fights the losing battle of anger bubbling up in her chest and she hits Luz again but slightly harder. "You're such a—!" She gasps when Luz tightly grabs her by the wrist and pins her arm down to her side.
hitting me." She says sternly and they stare intensely at each other, Amity wrestling her hand and trying to get her arm free. Luz leans forward and kisses her deeply, biting down hard on her lip. Amity yelps in pain and jerks away but Luz doesn't let up and she pushes deeper, biting harder, sending Amity into a slight dreadful panic. She uses her free hand to try and push Luz off but she doesn't move. Instead, she gains leverage over her and climbs on top of Amity to straddle her and she pins both of her arms down to her sides.
"What are you doing!" She squirms and bucks her hips, thrashing her legs and panting as Luz bites her neck. "Stop it!" She cries.
"Relax, geez!" She sensually bites her earlobe, sending a shock of pain down her back.
appreciate you hitting me."
appreciate you hurting me!" She wiggles her arm free and yanks Luz away by her hair, keeping her grip there tight and when Luz tries to pull away, she yanks it again. "Stop acting like this! We're not kids anymore, Luz!" She screams, her labored breaths mingling with Luz's as she tries to catch hers.
"Let me go." She tries to pull away again and groans when Amity yanks her forward again. She reaches up to grab Amity's wrist again and attempts to pull it out.
"Luz,
She balls her fist tighter in her hair, making it impossible for her to move. They stare at each other with a charged tension, and for a moment Amity feels a puddle of regret pooling in her stomach. Her girlfriend, this girl she's been so passionately in love with for so long. All of the time and energy dedicated to her. All of the tears shed, all of the arguments, the time wasted, the pain and the suffering she's put up with just for her. And she was getting married to her, just like she wanted.
But now she's not so sure anymore. She can't help but feel like it's wasted time, like she's spent the past four years climbing a hill that never ends. There's no reward at the top, only teases and hints of one along the way, like little things that keep her going but only drag her down.
The very last thing she wants is to lose her, even if she felt trapped and miserable underneath her right now. She wants to be with her, because she
she's good. She hopes she is.
She wants to marry her. They're going to have to work through this for the better of their relationship.
She sighs, her expression softens and suddenly she feels ashamed. She hesitantly loosens her grip on her girlfriend's soft, short brown hair, shakily dragging her hand down to cup her face. Her beautiful face that she loves so much, the one that she longs to kiss. She swallows and slowly leans up to softly press her lips to hers, feeling relieved when Luz kisses her gently this time. She loves this, their tender, loving kisses. She takes it as her reassurance and slightly pulls away to nuzzle into her neck again.
She whispers, holding onto her tightly. She's never letting go, no matter how hard it is and no matter how much it hurts.
"There's nothing wrong," she sighs—saying it in a tone that definitely sounds like there's something wrong. But Amity was going to get to the bottom of this and help her fiancé feel better. She was going to make this work. She
to make this work.
"I
us to communicate better. If we're going to get married then we need to be clear about how we feel and what we want." She slides her hand back up and slowly strokes her hair.
Wrapping her arm around her neck, she pulls her girlfriend down, pressing their bodies close. "I want you to feel happy."
"I am happy," she insists and Amity feels her arms wrapping around her. It sends a delightful shiver up her back and she thinks she has whiplash from how drastically different the touches are. Just a moment ago, she felt terrified of her girlfriend and now she's pleased to be wrapped in her arms, pulling her closer. "I just… I don't know. I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
She hears Luz's quiet groan next to her ear. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I got carried away. I'm sorry."
"Okay, I forgive you. But I don't want you to hurt me anymore, alright?"
"I thought you liked it when I hurt you."
That's… complicated. She doesn't exactly know how she feels about that anymore.
Really, she'd given up on telling her to stop because it only seemed to provoke her even more. And at the same time, in a weird and twisted way, she liked feeling sore from her girlfriend, only because she had to. If she had a choice, she wouldn't ask for it anymore.
They're older now and she feels like she's outgrown the submissive thing even if she knows she'd always be like that with Luz. The mere touch of her strong, warm hand made her want to drop everything and let Luz take whatever she wants, whatever she had left.
It's been so long. She's so exhausted.
"Sometimes." she settles guiltily after a while. "But if you listened to me, we could draw a line somewhere. We need to be better about this, babe. Things can't stay like this forever. You said you wanted to change. Let me help you."
Luz sighs.
—
Luz had been lounging around Amity's apartment all day. She left around eight this morning for an audition for some new Hallmark crap, and Luz was all alone.
She tried to take her mind off it, how pathetic she is without her. She'd gotten so caught up in her fiancé that she almost forgot about regular everyday life. She forgot about casualties and responsibility.
She stayed in the bed for a good portion of the morning, and finally got up around eleven to make herself a sad little sandwich. She gets up to stand on her aching, tired bones, taking the blanket and wrapping it around herself because it was so cold this morning and it was only just late autumn.
She digs through Amity's fridge, takes her stuff and uses it up, her groceries and food that she hadn't paid a penny for. Luz has found herself inexplicably at home in her apartment, and she thinks idly how she'd probably spent more time here than in her own place. She wonders why she'd even gotten a place, she should have just moved in with Amity. She knows she'd say yes.
Somehow, she feels incompetent for a fleeting moment, which is a recurring thing lately whenever she puts herself up against Amity. She was so successful, always had everything figured out. She knew how to save her money, and she knew things that Luz knew she probably should have learned back in high school. She'd had the completely wrong impression of Amity at first, and in her head, she's different.
In her head, Amity was this weak, dependent slut of a girl. A sad excuse for a person, really. And Luz knows herself as a bad person, so at least being so in control of a person that's everything she's
was a little grounding, for a little while. Now she's not so sure. Maybe Amity had taken control. Luz was tired of pretending, even if she'd always had this little knack for controlling people. Really, her and Amity were alike in that sense. They both liked control, but maybe Luz goes about it the wrong way sometimes.
She just wants to relax, settle down and be normal. She'd gone through her phases with Amity, and she thought that maybe it was time to just give it up, her petty game, and just come to terms with herself about everything. Evaluate the situation a bit. What did she
want? She doesn't
know, but she could probably figure it out if she gave herself some time to think about it for a while.
She thinks about
about just taking it easy for once. But as soon as she sees her cute little girlfriend again, her mind changes. Just, something about her gets her so worked up. She's not the horny teenager she used to be, at least she thinks she isn't. But wow, something about Amity's got her hormones raging. She's got this ache in her chest, a little fire burning inside her with Amity. She likes to tell herself that it's because she's jealous of her, and that's why she must have her, but really she doesn't know.
If she can't be her, at least she can have her.
At least she can pull Amity down to her level, and make her miserable too. At least they're sick, twisted maniacs together. She thinks that's her favorite part, because no matter what happens, she always knows that Amity
come back, she
say yes, and she will
belong to Luz.
Amity came through the door around three that afternoon, when Luz had decided to freshen up for the day and was lounging on the couch watching TV. She doesn't admit to herself how happy she is to see her, if the way she jumps up from the couch still doesn't speak for itself. There she sees her pretty fiancé standing in the doorway, looking so pretty and professional in her dark colored cardigan, her green hair a bit mussed from the windy weather.
"I got it." Is the first thing she says, an excited edge to her voice. "I got the part."
"No way. You got it?" Luz yanks her into her arms and she hugs her fiancé tight. She isn't very surprised, because Amity is amazing, and beautiful, and talented, and
she got the part. Really, she's more relieved than anything. "That's amazing."
"I'm so happy, babe." Amity sighs, nuzzling into her chest and hugging her back, which makes Luz's stomach dip like a stupid schoolgirl with a crush. She's so backwards, it's almost impossible. She's so ashamed. "They told me right there. I got it."
"Great job." Luz says for lack of a better way, pets her head, and she looks down at her future wife, so competent. "I'm proud of you."
"Thank you, my love." says Amity warmly. She pulls back to look up at her, eyes genuine and bright, and she looks so relieved, Luz thinks for the first time since this whole thing started. She looks so beautiful, so happy. Amity gently rests a hand on Luz's face, and she pushes up on her tiptoes to press a sweet, soft kiss to her lips. Luz likes it very much, and she'd been missing her Amity all day, so she lets her hand tangle through her hair and she kisses her back with light, playful pecks. "I missed you." She says hotly after pulling back slightly, brushing their noses together.
"I missed you too," Luz replies breathlessly, and it's only an understatement. She would never tell her how deeply her absences have been affecting her, would never give her that satisfaction. Amity watches her before leaning in again to kiss her deeply. Luz's hands hold her waist, and she pushes closer. Her heart is on fire again, and just like that, she must have her.
Amity giggles into the kiss, moaning delightedly when her girlfriend had nipped quickly at her bottom lip, swiping her tongue over the irritated skin, and her hands fall to clutch at her shoulders. Luz sways for her balance a bit, feeling Amity leaning her weight onto her as the kiss deepens. "I guess you missed me a lot then," she says sweetly, out of breath.
Luz nods. "How about I…" she teasingly walks her fingers up her chest, swallowing nervously when she sees Amity bite her lip. "Congratulate you on getting that part?"
"Of course," she gasps, incredulous. Some nerve Luz has gotten. They make their way into the bedroom, and Amity's neatly folding her bra as Luz waits on the bed. She's naked, and she's not in bed yet, which kills Luz. She puts away the rest of her clothes before she finally climbs in bed, soft, warm skin meeting the bedsheets. Luz pulls her in with ease, her body so petite and perfect.
"I'm happy you're moving on. But I don't want you to forget where you came from," Luz tries to tease, but she's distracted by the softness of her. She feels that guilty arousal twisting up low between her legs as Amity sits over her lap, pressing herself nice and close. She lets out a huff, her breath taken away from her once again.
"Don't hold back. I'm here, babe." She says, kissing Luz passionately and wrapping her arms around her neck, she begins to rock her hips ever so slightly. It drives Luz wild, and all she can do is kiss her wife back, holding her close around the waist. She's breathing so heavily already, and it's only from the feeling of having her so close. She pulls away to tease Luz, smiling mischievously and dragging her tongue along her lips. "Put your hands on me, baby. Touch me. I need you to show me how proud you are, for doing good today."
"Oh, I'm so proud." She assures her, and slides a hand up the smooth of her hip, along her rib cage and gently holding her small breast in her hand, swirling her thumb over her nipple. "Fuck… I can't think straight, sorry."
"That's okay," she hisses, arching and jerking her hips from all the attention she's suddenly getting. "I'm desperately in love with you too."
"Woah, I never said
she grins, happy for a way out, happy to have a bit of her old self back again, even if the cost is to lie to herself. She pinched Amity's cute little nipple, tugging and flicking until it became hard, and she made a cute little noise, a wine for the pleasurable pain it had inflicted. Something about that noise, her needy little cry turned her insides venomous, and she felt possessive.
"You didn't need to say it," she gives her a quick peck, smiling knowingly.
"Yeah… I guess you're right." She sighs. "I think it's time… to accept it."
"I think so too."
Amity's standing in front of her body length mirror, tying her hair into her usual little ponytail at the top. She got a new outfit yesterday, and she was happy with it. It's a nice blouse with a new pair of black, comfy stretch pants. She always likes getting new clothes, even if it's not much. It felt good to wear something fresh and new.
She's fixing the top around her waist, idly wondering if she should tuck or untuck. That's when Luz comes up behind her after coming out of the bathroom. She watches for a moment, and Amity is slightly terrified by the smile in her eyes that's visible even from the reflection of her.
"You look good," she says quietly, making Amity's heart flutter as she presses up against her, wraps her arms around her waist. It feels so perfect and she feels so complete, like she's exactly where she's supposed to be.
"Thank you, baby." She hums, reaching up to hold Luz's face from the side. They both stand there, and Amity says, "We look good."
"We
a good looking couple, aren't we?" She teases lightly, but Amity wholeheartedly agrees. "But… you look the best out of both of us, don't you think?"
"Of course not, my heart. I think you look beautiful too."
Luz only laughs softly next to her ear, and it is a pleasure of a sound to hear, like music to her ears. It's like the bane of her existence, so soft and sweet and ominous and sexy. She loves Luz's laugh. She loves her voice. She loves absolutely everything about her, embraces it with her heart. She likes Luz pressing closer behind her, likes how she deliberately holds her hands together near her crotch in front of her.
Amity tilts her head to the side slightly, stroking her finger down to Luz's chin, watching her closely in the mirror. Her heart races, Luz slowly rests her face on her shoulder. "I'm really, really… in love with you." Amity breathes.
"I love you too,
"Really?" She asks, because even after all this time, she can't quite believe it.
She feels Luz sigh, and she feels slightly ashamed for making her feel bad. Instead, she says,
She says breathlessly. So Luz sweetly presses her lips to Amity's neck, kissing there so very softly that it makes her swoon. She kisses again, slightly higher, the quiet sounds of her lips kissing her so tenderly, so lovingly. It makes her wild.
"I love all of my things, Blight. And that means you." She grins, moving all the way up the side of her neck with slow, possessive kisses, each one lingering hotly in Amity's mind. It makes her sweaty with excitement and she is aroused beyond her wildest imagination. She moans quietly, her mouth dropping open at the sensation of a deep kiss on her jaw. She starts to rock her hips under Luz's traveling hands, slowly up her hips, up to her chest.
Amity gasps, incredulous and turned on as Luz is holding her breasts firm and greedy even through her shirt, kissing her neck again roughly. She lets out a deep breath and she sees Luz biting her lip in the mirror, which excites her to her very core. "You just got this shirt, didn't you?"
Amity rushes to nod. "Y—yes, …I really like it. Don't you like it?"
Luz hums.
"Take it off."
"W—what?" She startles, her heart thrilling away with excitement. Luz pulls herself off of her and she watches Amity sternly in the mirror, arms crossed.
"You heard me. Take it off. Or I'll punish you."
"Okay, babe. Anything you want," her excitement mixes with a wave of fear, suddenly afraid of the thought of getting hurt. She enjoyed getting hurt, getting bitten or bruised, but the feeling of her skin being pierced, injured, damaged at the sting of Luz's teeth, being crushed under her weight, suffocated by her kiss— it's all too much for Amity to handle right now. So she is obedient to her fiancé, swiftly pulling her pretty new shirt off over her head and tossing it to the ground. She shivers at the cool air hitting her skin, is even shakier when Luz comes back behind her, holding her close.
She gives her a tight squeeze, kissing her neck rewardingly. "That's a
girl," she purrs, her voice low and sensual. "You're so obedient, aren't you, Amity Blight?" She chuckles. "Are you always this good to your owner?"
"I'm always good," she assures her, releasing a shaky breath as Luz idly swirls her finger in light circles over her bare stomach. "I'm always a good girl."
She hums observantly. "Who do you belong to?"
"You, babe," she says readily and freely, no hesitation in her words. "I'm yours."
"That's right. And your body is mine." Luz says. "Isn't it?"
"Of course, baby. My heart, my soul, my body. Everything is yours. I'm all for you. I love you." She starts to get hot again, feeling Luz holding her, touching her, tracing her everywhere. She holds her hips as Amity slowly rolls them, humping on nothing but the thought of her, the feeling of her, the sound of her. They make burning eye contact in the mirror's reflection, the sudden quietness is thick and hot between them.
She looks so ridiculous, feels so foolish standing here like an idiot, topless and being toyed with by this girl that she's so in love with.
Then, Luz pulls away again to cause more damage. "I want you to take your pants off too."
Without a word, Amity nods and quickly pulls her pants off her hips, letting them drop down and pool at her feet. The task completed, Luz comes back to hold her close, rewarding her another warm kiss low on the side of her neck. Her hands find a handful each of Amity's cute, firm little butt, making her squeak when Luz gives her a quick little squeeze. "What do you think of this, Amity?" She wraps her arms back around her waist.
Amity really examines herself then. She's standing there, struggling to keep her balance in her new underwear set, a lacy and coral pink bra and panties. Luz watches her sternly.
There's a fleeting sting on her earlobe when Luz nips her there rather roughly. "I asked you a question."
"I'm sorry, baby. You're just so distracting." She arched her back when Luz pulls her panties up from the front, pulling the fabric into an extremely uncomfortable angle between her folds, delicious and delicate in her sex. "I want
"Mmm," Luz pointedly ignores her and brings a hand up to play with the strap of her bra. She slowly drags it down her shoulder, leaving it hanging off. "You look like a slut in this underwear, don't you think?"
"Only for you, baby. I'm your slut."
"What would you do for me, slut?" She asks coldly.
"Anything you ask."
Luz unclips her bra and lets it fall to the floor, leaving Amity's small, cute little breasts exposed. She blushes with mortification at the newness of seeing herself naked. She hadn't really seen herself before. And she especially hadn't watched
herself be touched. It's a completely new and wonderfully lewd thing to do, watch yourself be slowly tortured in the mirror. She moans quietly as Luz pinched and tugged at her nipples, getting them hard and flushed a delicate pink color. The sensitive skin aching with every brush of her skin.
"How does this feel?"
Amity twitches, squirming underneath her fiancé in a pleasant way. "Good," she breathes.
Luz continues, holding her firmly with two handfuls, kneading her and clutching her so ruthlessly. Amity likes it, being touched and grabbed like she's a worthless sex object just for her to play with. She hisses, slightly arching her back when Luz takes her breasts in each hand and squeezes tightly, the soft, sensitive skin spilling over between her fingers. "You're so much bigger than me," she notes idly, a hint of resentment in her voice.
Amity won't tell her that she's wrong, because she
just a little bigger—not by much at all. But that was like all things comparable between them. Amity is just slightly more fortunate than Luz when it came to their bodies, giving her a feminine quality that Luz finds delectable and addicting. She aches in her hands, pressing herself closer. Her voice comes out shaky. "Does that bother you?"
Luz is shameless with her reply, whispering,
so hot and close to her ear that it makes her shiver.
"Then take it out on me."
Luz just laughs. "You're so funny." squeezing tighter once more, she lets go of Amity's chest and traces her index finger down her abdomen again, keeping the other hand just below her breast resting teasingly on her ribcage. She slips shamelessly into her underwear, shocking Amity. She gasps, flushing when her finger circles over her sex before edging its way in.
"Fuck. Yeah, babe. I love your fingers… go
she whimpers, taking a deep breath through her nose, her heart racing at the anticipation of Luz taking her out of her misery. But it never comes, the feeling of being filled up that she longs for, her fiancé opting to stay on the outside of her sex and tease the sensitive outer folds to give Amity a less than satisfactory orgasm. "Please, please," she cries as she spills over, weakly contracting under her fingers, rolling her hips to grab as much friction as she can. "Why didn't you… why did you…"
"You don't deserve it yet. You have to be patient." is all Luz says, a giggle in her voice. Amity pants, feeling frustrated and irritated rather than the euphoric exhaustion she usually gets after an amazing orgasm from her fiancé. It's like she did that on purpose, knowing Amity's not off the hook and will do anything for more.
Angrily, she whirls around to face Luz, certain that she was going to swear at her or maybe even punch her, but she finds her looking amused with a wide eyed wonder, and Amity becomes curious and desperate to satisfy that urge. So instead she leans up to kiss her fervently, one thing taken care of as Luz holds her around the waist and passionately kisses back. "Please," she pulls back suddenly, looking up at Luz with a hard to place urgency in her eyes. "I want you to fuck me."
Luz erupts into laughter again, and Amity furrows her brows. "Stop that," she lightly slaps her. "You started this. Now finish it."
Amity," she grabs her by the shoulders and roughly pushes her back toward the bed, causing her to stumble. "You're such a slut."
Amity's eyes flash, her heart racing to finally have gotten something from her. She gets so turned on, grouchy and objectified at the force of Luz shoving her so carelessly. "Punish me then,"
"I will."
Amity falls back on the bed and she spreads her legs open wide. "Baby," she whines, stroking the center of her own wet clit. She watches excitedly as Luz gets the strap-on around her waist. She gets a little worried because she's wet, but she doesn't think wet enough to get fucked right now. She would need more buttering up, more sweet foreplay from her cute fiancé before she was ready.
Luckily, when Luz finally comes to her, she doesn't try to start right away. She's biting her lip as she stops Amity from fingering herself. "May I,
she chokes out, broken with arousal.
Luz smiles, and she kneels down to sit perfectly between her legs. She kisses the top of her sex gently, swiping her tongue over her clit and swallowing the taste of her dripping wet excitement. "Baby. Oh yeah," she huffs, arching her back into the bed. "Right there. Like that."
"Right here?" She asks, teasingly unsure with her mouth full of Amity's cute little sex. She folds her tongue deep inside, making her fiancé scream with delight.
"Just like that," she pants, not focused on anything else but her tongue, Luz's mouth eating her out so perfectly. She feels like this was what she was made for, to be licked and sucked by her soon-to-be wife just like this, and nothing else ever. She was made to have sex with her, to be her little love toy. She has nothing to hide, bearing it all to her with her legs spread wide open for her to access and do whatever she pleases. "Babe!"
"Yeah?" She asks casually, grazing over her clit again before thrusting her tongue in and out of her soft, wet folds.
"Fuck," she drops her head back, her eyes feeling like they want to roll to the back of her head. The pleasure is unbearable, almost. She holds onto Luz's hair and jerks her hips in with each flourish of her tongue inside, making her so close to coming all over her face. "I'm so wet for you."
"Slut," Luz laughs, stopping to kiss her inner thigh instead. Amity is glad for the break, wanting to last a little longer. That's kind of hard when she has a cute, hot fiancé doing things to her psyche with just her mouth. She inches her way back to her sex, this time using the bottom of her tongue to spoon her folds apart and dip inside again, which delights Amity to her
core.
She breathes in short, sporadic breaths, pushing her hips closer to Luz's face, trying to get her deeper, farther in, trying to reach that unreachable itch deep inside herself. She doesn't know if she'll ever be satisfied until it's touched, aching and longing for her fiancé to take care of her intense desire to keep going. She'll never stop. She'll never get tired of this burning, throbbing pleasure low between her legs. She'll never stop forcing Luz closer until she's satisfied her every need, her every want.
She rolls her hips in a circle to match the long, slow licks from the bottom of her sex up to the top, moaning in panicked little outbursts. She feels her eyes water with burning tears, the clouded vision of her future wife between her legs going down on her making her heart race beyond imagination. She lets out a little cry, feeling herself reach the very end.
And the best part is that Luz doesn't stop, and she doesn't worry about anything as she ruts her hips against her tongue, coming to the persistence of only Luz, who knows exactly what she needs, exactly what she wants, exactly how to please her. That's what makes her the happiest, that when she opens her eyes again, the love of her life is looking at her with a pretty smile on her face. She unravels so violently, and it's so good, so perfect that she completely forgets that weak little orgasm she had earlier.
It's… amazing.
She will never escape from this, from her. Not as long as she's a slave to this intoxicating drug. Not when it's at such easy access, so easy to grab. Even if it's doing more harm than good.
She blinks at Luz. "That was perfect," she says, lazily watching her as she strokes a finger up and down her tired clit. It doesn't mean anything, not right now. Not after
"Glad to hear it. Though, I could have guessed from how loud you were being." she sucks on her finger, her eyes briefly widening. Amity squirms in embarrassment, lifting her leg to swat Luz in the face with her foot. "Seriously, Ami. I'm pretty sure the whole complex heard you. You're like a, a—"
"Like a what?"
Luz stops, a decisive grin tugging at her lips. "Nothing. You're just really,
slutty," she stands up to get in bed, crawling over Amity, her knees trapping her on either side of her hips. "I mean… what am I gonna do with you?" She grabs a handful of her breast, making Amity squeak.
"Guess you're just going to have to put me in my place," she whispers dreamily, looking up at her beautiful wife. "Guess you'll just have to… drill it into my head until I understand."
"Guess so," Luz sniggers, leaning down to kiss Amity, long and slow. She moans into it, reaching up to rest a hand on her back.
she begs between kisses, and Luz moves to obey. Adjusting on top of her, straddling her hips and angling the false dick inside of her. "Baby," she grabs the back of her arms, panting with excitement. "Don't hold back."
says whispers reassuringly. "I'm pushing it in now, okay?"
Amity's mouth waters, her heart aching with desire. She loves her beautiful princess, the soft concern on her face. She slips her hand up the back of her neck and holds her hair softly. "I'm ready, babe. I love you."
Luz pushes it inside ever so slowly, Amity hissing slightly at the initial shoot of pain as it enters her. She had gotten quite used to that feeling, because most of the time Luz was not careful
understanding when they did this, and it had her in some sort of mood that now suddenly she was. She feels like they are one, a single, loving entity. It's absolutely perfect, and Luz is so beautiful. They were meant for each other.
It's another brief moment of uncomfortableness as it slips in, and she can feel the sturdy, hardness of it inside her. Slowly, as Luz eases it in. Amity pulls her in for a soft kiss to distract herself from the feeling, happy and gratified when Luz kisses her back so very passionately.
This is the most romantic moment of her life, she thinks. It changes everyday, every moment she spends with her, but now, this can't be topped. She feels Luz's hand against her after getting all the way in, and fireworks burst in her mind when she smiles encouragingly down at her. She loves her pretty smile. This is how she wants to spend the rest of her life.
"I love you," she whimpers helplessly, resting a hand on her shoulder. She's such a mess for her. She'd do anything for her touch, for her love.
"I love you too, princess. Can you take this, you think?" She bumps her hips forward slightly to give Amity a soft little thrust inside. Immediately, she gasps, not used to having it inside her. It's foreign and agonizing, and
Amity is breathless. "Of course I can. I can take anything you give me."
"Good girl," she moves to hold herself slightly over Amity, her arms resting on either side of her shoulders to support her weight. But to Amity, it's unbearable to not feel her close, be pushed up against her. She clutched her shoulder, trembling.
"Wait. I want you to be close.
she begs, wrapping her arms around her fiancé's back and pulling her down. Luz laughs softly.
"Okay. It's gonna be a little hard to…" she watches her for a moment, thinking. She is able to angle herself correctly with a bit of focus, and Amity is shocked by her wonderful partner's geniuses. She's so perfect and so right.
She asks softly, kissing her cheek. She is in the perfect spot. They're pressed flush together, chest to chest and skin to skin. Just like Amity wanted.
"You're perfect," she shudders. "Just like this, babe. I love you." She holds onto her shoulders, feeling so feminine and small enough for Luz to hold and kiss, and keep. All she wants is to be hers.
Luz laughs again, then pressing another affectionate kiss to her chin. "I love you too. You ready?" She asks sweetly. Amity nods nervously, giggling when Luz's hair dangles in her face. "Oh, sorry." She smiles, brushing their noses together, and Amity kisses her soft, warm lips. It's dreamy and sentimental, and everything she'd ever wanted.
she whispers breathlessly. Luz trails kisses down to her neck, burying her face there comfortably and moving her hips slightly to start.
She thrust into her at a steady but gentle pace, not going too fast or too hard, which Amity appreciates. She loves her fiancé for going soft on her, for being gentle and loving and easy on her sensitive, tired clit. She holds tightly onto her back but with each time Luz pushes her hips forward from back out, it drives her just a bit more insane, and she can't exactly handle it when she's also kissing her neck, telling her how good of a girl she is and how perfect she is.
Her eyes water with pleasure and she pants, taking each thrust lovingly and storing it in her mind forever to have and to keep, Luz's low voice in her ear, her lips kissing her neck, her arms wrapped around her body, holding her close and tight, their bodies rocking together in a methodical, sensual rhythm that only they understand. The promise that she'll have this forever now that they're to be married, the promise that she'll have this tomorrow night and every other night.
She moans miserably in trouble, a tightness clenching low in her stomach again. She drags her hands down her fiancé's back, scratching hot trails of passion down and crying out as Luz bites down on her ear, jerking her hips faster and harder, pressing just right against her clit and penetrating her deep inside. She whimpers and strains to arch her back one last time as she spills over the edge, her tight sex clenching around the toy inside of her, everything uncoiling like a wound up spring. She realizes that she's sweating underneath her strong fiancé, pinned here so pleasantly to their bed.
Amity feels cuddly now, wrapping her legs around Luz's hips and hugging her tight with all the strength left in her, holding her strong, sturdy back. She closes her eyes and listens to the sound of Luz's heavy breath as she tries to catch hers, feeling her relax her muscles and her weight presses Amity deeper into the mattress. To her, it's pleasant. She wants to be underneath her like this, always. Wants to feel her and be crushed by her.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, taking in the smell of intermingled sweat and each other's bodies. "All good?" Luz asks, finally breaking the pleasurable silence.
"As good as I've ever been," she trembles, almost cathartic. "Don't move. I want to stay like this for a while."
"Okay." Luz is quiet for a moment. "Am I hurting you?"
"No. Never," she says incredulously. "Don't worry."
"Okay,
she idly runs a hand through her hair, pressing a warm kiss to her collarbone. "You really enjoyed that, didn't you?"
"More than anything. I love you so much." She weakly kisses her shoulder. "Let's get married soon. I want to call you my wife."
"Anything you want, princess." Luz whispers.
beautiful." Amity insists, and it's final.
The post-sex bliss is intense tonight, and it doesn't help that she's practically drooling for Luz. Sex is always a mixed bag for Amity. She enjoys being touched by her fiancé when it feels good, and she likes being close.
But it fills her with emptiness, as much as it fills her with excitement. It's the base of the relationship, and Amity discovers every night that there's nothing else beyond it. She yearns to fill the empty hole in her heart, because she has this beautiful, amazing person in bed with her that she loves with every bone in her body, but the feeling only leaves her broken.
It seems like Luz is trying now, to put her back together.
As much as she loves that, as much as she wants it… why does she
that Luz is only just using her still? Why did she get engaged to her if nothing changed, nothing happened? Why would she be with Luz like this if it didn't matter?
She thinks she's clinging onto her because she's familiar, and not good enough to compensate for that emptiness. She's searching for something that isn't there.
Maybe Luz
be better.
Amity loves her nonetheless, because she's all she ever knew, all she ever wanted. How can she
the soft little kisses Luz gives her, the tender looks and the gentle touches, hoping with everything that she kisses harder, calls her
once again, pulls her in close— when at the very same time she wants to push her away and kick her out of her apartment. She wishes she'd get sucked into a black hole.
Why was Luz so different?
She wants to feel lucky, for finding
so quickly, but it'd only been her first try.
Idly, she knows this relationship is not anything to be proud of. But things like this happen all the time.
Besides, this had become her normal. Luz was normal, but
and
in every way. Amity gets all soapy just thinking about it. Luz is… perfect. She's sweet, pretty, and romantic. Amity loves it when she kisses her hand, or gives her that look. When she sometimes twirls her, or takes her out on dates.
She's afraid of how much power Luz holds over her life. She could shatter everything if she wanted to. She could break Amity. Maybe she already has.
But she doesn't like to think about that side of her beautiful wife.
But… why
Amity let Luz take so much dominance over everything? She guesses maybe… she likes it. At the end of the day, it's all up to her, isn't it? She
being controlled, and she likes being hurt. She lets it. She guesses it's her fault.
But for every happy, loving moment, there's five more painful, empty ones.
She knows the galaxies of her heart. Luz has Amity's heart in her hand, and she knows it well. She's turned it inside out, severed and crushed it. Sometimes she does good things with it. A lot of the time, it's bad. She can't remember how many times she'd cried herself to sleep, alone in bed, wishing it was with her.
She doesn't care if she caused this. She just wants to be back together, in her arms.
But she'd still spend her days dreaming about her, wishing about her. She wishes she knew how to walk away from her.
Eventually, Luz pulls away to hold herself up over Amity, and she greets her again with a typical, heart stopping Luz-grin. She loves her so much. It's bad enough, but Luz knows she's in control. She knows she's got Amity hooked, pulling her along on a wild goose chase. Running away, … but they're running in circles. Luz is happy about it. Leading her on with a smile on her face, because she already knows Amity's going to follow.
"You okay?" She asks sweetly.
All Amity can do is nod, because she's breathless. She feels like she wants to cry. Luz leans in to nuzzle her face, playfully kissing her lips. "I'm so…" she pauses, at a loss for words. She supposed it didn't matter anyways, no matter what she said.
Luz moves off of her, out of their perfect lover's embrace, and it makes Amity quite sad, but it's just another thing slapped on to her pearl of complicated emotions. It's overwhelmingly, existentially hopeless, and there's a peaceful kind of dread that settles into her chest as she decides on it.
She is grateful to have that dildo out of her, and then regretfully sorrowful again when it aches to have Luz remove it. It's just a rollercoaster, everything about everything relating to Luz Noceda, the wacky girl in her life. She likes the
kiss Luz pushes her into when they are one again, together and close with nothing between them. And still, it's not enough for Amity.
At least this is something comforting. Luz is kissing her so much tonight.
They drift into their post-sex nap, a hazy and intimate thing it is to be close. And Amity is feeling especially sensitive about the way Luz has her arms wrapped around her from behind, a leg thrown lazily over her hip.
She feels safe, and secure. It doesn't take long for her to doze off, a little after Luz has quickly taken that liberty.
She wonders what Luz thinks of her now.
When she wakes up, still and bitterly in her fiancé's arms, she starts to silently cry. She tries not to move because she's not quite ready yet, to face her. Luz eventually wakes up, and finds Amity profusely wiping at her eyes.
She hears a quiet sigh behind her, but for a long time she doesn't say anything. Just gives her light kisses on the back of her neck until she finally asks,
Amity is caught off guard by the question, because in her mind it's insensitive,
But she doesn't have the energy to get too worked up over it. "Yes," is all she says, her voice shaking.
Luz hums observantly, pulling away to sit up and stretch. Amity can hear her bones crack in the quietness of their dark room. Hears her yawn, and then it's quiet. She reaches to stroke Amity's hair, and she jolts upon the unexpected touch, more tears streaming down her cheeks. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," she sniffles, wiping her nose. "I'm happy."
"I'm happy too," she says slowly, decisively like she's not sure if she believes what Amity told her so effortlessly. She lays back down to lean over and kiss her jaw, staying there for a moment. "How are you feeling?"
"Good. What about you?"
"I'm great," she stops abruptly to smile. "A little hungry."
"Do you want to go get something?" She asks, delighted at the idea of getting out of the apartment for a little bit. Maybe that would help clear her head.
"Yeah, let's do that." She whispers playfully. "We should probably get cleaned up first."
They get in the shower together, and Amity is being clingy. Luz doesn't mind. It's nice to just stand in the warm water for a little while, soothing their aching bodies. Amity is hugging Luz, her face buried in her neck as they lean against the shower wall.
They brush their teeth, and the whole time, Amity is watching Luz as she absentmindedly carries out the mundane task, enthralled.
They get dressed, and Luz puts on her stupid beanie again. Just pulls it on like second nature, and she's ready to go. It's stupid, but Amity is so into her. She's so worked up, so entranced. This is her life. Her future wife.
Luz is her kind of woman. What a girl. She's incredible. Amity feels hazy, like she's in a dream with her.
She clings onto her as they walk out of the apartment, down the elevator, outside to the parking lot. She leans back in her seat in the car, turns on the radio, and the early three AM forecast and mindless adverts fill the car as they pull off. Her eyes are sensitive to the stop lights and headlights, but she feels confident that Luz is a good driver and she will get them safely to wherever they're going. She doesn't know.
They go to Taco Bell, because it's literally the only thing that's open this late—or early. Amity is not actually that hungry, and especially not for Taco Bell, but Luz seems content with the lousy taco and cinnamon twists she ordered. The fries are decent, and it's enough to fill her with… competent nourishment. Fries are potatoes, aren't they?—
"You sure you're okay?" Luz asks, watching her with concern.
"I'm perfect," she smiles, her first real one since forever, she thinks. It's just something about Luz, the way she looks sitting at this table in some random Taco Bell, scarfing down her food like it's her first meal in a month, how the light of the twenty-four-hour sign outside is glowing on her through the window, making her eyes sparkle. Amity giggles, popping another fry in her mouth and snatching Luz's Sprite to take a sip. "I just love you so much."
"I love you too," she hesitates. "You seemed upset earlier. I don't know if I did something, or…"
"No!" She rushes to say, because she doesn't want Luz worrying when she shouldn't. "You're fine. You were—," she bites her lip, heat rushing to her face. "You were perfect." Luz looks up at her after taking a big bite of her taco, a stupid grin spreading across her face. "I'm just… you know how I get so… weird."
"Yeah," she swallows, playfully snatching the soda away from Amity again to take a sip. "I guess you get pretty weird after I've railed you, but—," she shrugs, amused when Amity sputters.
"Why do we always end up talking about sex when we're in public?" She asks quietly, and Luz goes quiet, the unspoken agreement that
to them and to talk about.
Luz wonders if she made the right decision sometimes. She wonders if maybe she should have just let Amity go all that time ago, let her be rightfully upset, let her take back her own life.
But Amity tells her crazy things, and she's really, actually starting to believe them.
"You won't have to be confused once we get married." She hangs on tightly to her shirt, kissing her neck softly. "Take me away. We'll live somewhere far from here. Just you and me, forever."
"You're crazy," she says weakly.
"I know I'm crazy. But we're crazy together, babe." Amity wraps her arms around her back tightly and pulls her in closer, feeling Luz's face in her neck. "I know what we'll do for our honeymoon. We'll go to a big, grassy field full of flowers, and you'll twirl me and kiss me and tell me how much you love me." She laughs quietly, a bit hysterically when Luz doesn't say anything. "Then we'll lay down in the soft grass and make love to each other."
"In the grass?"
"Yes. In nature, under the big blue sky." She says dreamily. "It'll be so romantic."
They're lounging around because it's one of their lazy days. Amity doesn't know whether or not it matters, because she's not good for anything else anyways. She is a failure of a person: unemployed, broken and bruised, and the most shameful of all, unimportant. How she went from a successful actress with big opportunities to a girl with her only fuel to keep going being her fiancé, she doesn't know. But one thing she does know.
They're in Amity's bed, watching TV. Amity is not actually watching it, and she doesn't think Luz is either. All of it is mindless garbage anyways. She
looking at Luz, because she's pretty and fun to look at. Her stomach is a sinkhole because this was doomed from the start. She was just too blind to see it.
But Luz is hot, and even still after all this time, she gets butterflies in her stomach when she looks at her. It's a shame she's not a good…
She's perfect the way she is. Amity is almost certain that Luz is just misunderstanding herself. She's growing into a great person, but she's got these odd little things about her.
They're her problems, and things that Luz is better off hiding or putting away. It's one of those things that you learn to turn off when you discover that society won't accept you for it. And it is sad, but true. But her and Luz are
society. They are their own reality, like a fantasy or a fairytale. It doesn't matter to her, the outside world. As long as she has Luz, nothing else matters at all.
And Amity thinks Luz is a good person, just misunderstood. But
understands. She doesn't know why she stays, but she tells herself that it's because she wants to help Luz. She
helping Luz. She'd dedicated and spent so much time into her that it wouldn't be practical to break up. It wouldn't make sense.
But it's completely Amity's choice, and she definitely has control of her unwilling emotions. It's not like Luz basically and indirectly ruined her life.
Besides, it doesn't even matter when Luz is suddenly looking at her, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Initially, Amity's face heats up at the certitude of being caught staring. But she doesn't know why she worries, because they're practically married, and Luz had seen and put her at her worst.
Luz moves from her spot on her stomach at the edge of the bed to lay down next to Amity who was wrapped under the blanket in the center of the bed. She doesn't know what to say to her, because she's incompetent and foolish to even think that this is anything more than a dream, so what ends up coming out is a shaky,
.
"Hey," she shoots back, an amused little grin tugging her lips, and it scares Amity only a little bit. Nothing good is ever preceded by
look. Still, she can't wait for what she might do or say next, because whatever it is, the answer is
For now, she leans in and kisses Amity so very softly that she feels her heart aching. She does her best to kiss her back, returning the love and the passion and the urgency. The mysteriousness of it turns her on, and all of her muscles become weakened by the second.
Amity lets the kisses trail down her neck like they always do, and she knows that that means Luz wants to have sex. She is more than ready and happy to do it, even if she's unsettled that this time there may be a catch.
Luz asks quietly into her neck. It takes her breath away, the smoke and sensuality in the way that she says it.
"Nothing except you," she rushes to say, breathless.
"That's a good girl." She praises graciously, and Amity can't stop the mess that she makes in her panties because of it. Luz has moved back up to deeply kiss her helpless little possession's lips, and just to ground herself she grabs onto her hair. She gets hot from it, moaning and letting Luz climb on top of her, pinning her down, kissing her up. Her heart starts to race at the excitement of this, letting herself get wetter between her legs, moaning and whimpering underneath her wife. "You're so good, aren't you?" she purrs.
"I'm yours," Amity whispers dreamily. Luz makes a satisfied little sound, making her feel so special and utilized. Her wife stops kissing to pull back only slightly, their lips still brushing together.
"How about you and I finally go and tie the knot tonight?"
Amity gasps, her heart thundering violently in her chest. Luz has no idea how long she had been waiting for this moment, to finally be called her wife and to finally, legally be hers. She had enjoyed the engagement, getting to say,
or,
when it was appropriate and
get her in any more trouble. But she was ready for more. She wanted a wedding, a big, beautiful wedding full of love and family.
Even if the circumstances are different, and she knew that she would
be getting any of that, it doesn't make her feel any less about the person she's marrying. It's better, almost, if she can convince herself. She wasn't going to let the fact that
stop her from marrying this hot girl that she's completely in love and obsessed with.
"Yes. Of course. I—would love that, a lot, actually," she stammers, heart exploding when Luz giggles. "If you want."
"I
want." she laced her fingers with Amity's, kissing her softly again. Amity kisses back any chance she gets, but really she's much too distracted to think straight. "I want it more than anything."
Amity blinks, completely destabilized by her. Her heart yearns for Luz to be
She loves this girl
She bites her lip, distracted by her
The way she feels
The way she sounds, the way she knows exactly how to get Amity. She's such a loser and she knows it. But if that's the cost of loving her, then she was willing to pay it.
"Okay," she says finally when Luz fully pulls away and is watching Amity expectantly. So she pulls her phone from the nightstand and lifts her arm up for Luz to cuddle close while she Googles
Many good results pop up, and Amity is pleased. She gets a feeling of certainty to wash over herself, thinking,
They could just get married and call it a night. "There's this cute place nearby here. We can go there now before they close in an hour."
Luz glares at her incredulously. "No. We don't wanna be anywhere near here."
"We—we don't?" She moans when Luz kisses her deeply again, as if to mold her mind, reset her notions a bit.
"Nope," she pops the
grins ominously at Amity. "We wanna be
from here. Right?"
Amity nods vigorously.
"Good. So you know what I was thinking?"
"What?"
She takes a playful kiss from Amity's lips, nipping at her bottom lip.
She yelps, tries to hide her immediate opposition. And Luz
it's a bad idea, just like Amity would tell her if she could speak—her lips caught in another passionate, persuasive kiss. And it works. It's stupid, but it fucking works.
"Yeah, baby. We could go to Vegas and get married. Then we'll get a room and fuck. Sound good?"
"Okay. But what are we going to wear?"
"We'll worry about that once we get there."
"How will we pay?"
"Don't worry about that, princess."
Amity bites her lip, thinks to herself,
And the answer is yes,—it always is. She doesn't need anymore convincing, but when she sees the anticipation in Luz's eyes, thinks about her life, the absolute shit that it's become, the fact that she has such a hot girl in the bed with her, knows how much she must want her if she's given her a choice—she thinks that a little fun won't hurt. She could possibly forget about everything for just a little while.
"Let's do it."
The first stop of the night is to get their marriage license. They go to a county office in Los Angeles to apply, the both of them proudly showing their IDs to the person at the counter. It takes a while for them to enter it into the system, and Luz falls asleep on Amity's shoulder in the waiting room for a little while.
Soon, they're called back up to receive the printed certificate, and they sign their names. Amity has a brief moment of identity crisis, because originally she thought she wanted to have her name hyphenated.
But she's not a Blight anymore. She wants all of her wife, every part of her. Her last name. So when she signs, it's
.
"Amity Noceda," Luz giggles as they're rushing out of the office to go off into the night, back into the car for a long trip. "That's sexy." She pushes her up against the driver's side, pulling her in by the hips and kissing her hungrily. Amity moans, wrapping her arms around the back of her neck. "You're
now."
"I'm yours, always," she kisses her again, and she is breathlessly in love with this person. "Nothing else."
The drive to Vegas is something like a dream. Amity feels like she's leaving everything she used to know all behind, off into the night to marry this girl. She was so happy, so proud. She felt adventurous and sexy, rolling down the window and letting the cool night breeze blow in her hair.
Nothing else at all matters. No one else exists. It's just her and Luz. What would her mother think about this? What would Ed and Em say when they inevitably found out? Would they try to stop her and break them up, but her and Luz persevere despite all odds because their love for each other is too strong?
Amity giggles at the idea. Her life really
like some kind of Hallmark romance movie. She was happy about it, though.
She's perfectly aware of the pure insanity this all is. But she's too horny and in love to care.
She glances at her silly wife, laughing at the fact that she's wearing sunglasses despite the sun setting hours ago. "Do you want to get dressed up for our wedding?"
"Hell yeah. We're not getting married in sweatpants and khaki shorts," Luz snorts. "Don't worry. We're already
to the greatest place a couple like us can go."
"Really?" She asks playfully, thinking maybe they'd go to Target or Burlington to get something dressy to wear. She appreciated Luz trying to make this nice, despite the circumstances. She was admittedly a little sad that this was the way it all happened, that she's running off to get married in secret. Her family wouldn't be there to accompany her on her big day. At least she had Luz.
She was a little shocked when they pulled up to some A-grade wedding dress shop called
just outside of Barstow. "Babe, I don't think
of us could buy
dress from here—,"
Luz whips out her shiny black card again, and Amity fights the urge to roll her eyes. How did she even afford that thing?! "Don't even worry your pretty little head," she pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head, grinning at Amity.
"B—budget?" she stammers.
"Nope," she pops the
reaching over the cupholder to slap her worried wife in the face with her stupid credit card. "Now let's go! Come on!"
Before Amity can protest, she's swept inside of the grand store, her senses completely overwhelmed by the fluorescent lighting, the pristine interior, the lush furniture, the extravagant displays and not to mention the
"Ummm," Amity flushes, feeling severely incompetent being in here. She clutches onto Luz's arm, staying close. "I think we should leave."
"Nah, we'll just get something from here real quick. It'll be fine. What're you worried about?"
Amity grumbles, looking away. She buries her face in her neck, whispering,
"Don't be." She grabs her hand and pulls her toward a corner of the store. "We'll make it quick. Just pick a pretty dress and we'll leave." She assures her.
"Okay. Yeah, you're right," she says, feeling a little bit better. She starts to file through a rack of bejeweled dresses, varying from sleeveless to high neck, hem or no hem. She hums. "All of these are nice. What do you think of this one?" She pulls a long sleeved dress with a short train and sequined skirt from the rack.
Luz takes it from her, examining it closely. "It's nice. But I think you should definitely walk down the aisle sleeveless and with extra cleavage."
Amity wrinkles her nose, slapping Luz with an audible smack. "Idiot.
Luz whines, rubbing at her cheek like a baby. She puts the dress Amity previously chose over her arm. "Fine. Best out of five."
Amity smiled, because that sounded reasonable. Her Luzy was so smart. They wandered around the store a bit, Luz being her human coat rack as she piled on more than five dresses.
"What about you? What are you going to wear?" Amity asks as she's filing through yet another rack of dresses, marveling at a mannequin display of a long, frilly skirted dress with shirt sleeves as they walked passed.
"Definitely not a dress. I would die," she jokes. "I'll just get a nice shirt or something. That okay?"
"Of course. Whatever you want. It's
wedding."
After that, they head to sign up for a dressing room, and then a sort of impromptu fashion show happens. They narrowed it down to five out of ten dresses that she picked, and then two out five. Amity and Luz win the privacy of the changing room, so the both of them are feeling a bit adventurous.
Luz carefully zips up the dress in the back, leaning in to slowly kiss the side of Amity's neck. She lets out a little moan, biting her lip. "You look pretty." she whispers.
"Thank you, babe." She pulls her eyes away from Luz to examine herself in the mirror. This dress is short sleeved with the sleeves being made of a delicate, floral lace. It has
cleavage, which she's glad about. The abdomen of the dress is covered in an intricate design and pattern of shiny jewels that probably bumped the price of the dress to about one thousand. The skirt stopped just after her knees, and it was simple in decoration with a simple gold threading.
She thinks
is the dress.
"What do you think?" She holds Amity firmly on the hips, pushing herself up against the back of her.
"I'll say yes… to the dress," Amity giggles, bursting out into laughter when Luz nips roughly at her neck.
She grumbles, but she can't stop herself from laughing.
"Two-thousand?!" Luz screams as they're checking out.
"Yes, ma'am." The cashier says boredly.
"Fuck. Okay. What if I take this off?" She raises up the dress shirt and pants she had picked out for herself. "Would that bring it down at all?"
"That would bring you down to
Luz scoffs exasperatedly, begrudgingly swiping her card. Amity giggles beside her. "Guess that
came in handy." she watches as Luz stuffs it back in her wallet, wondering exactly how much is on it.
After paying, they rush back to the changing rooms to put on their cool new clothes and walk out of the store wearing them. Luz, of course has to pop the collar on her stupid shirt, but it gets Amity when she winks as she does it, so she doesn't mind.
They get back in the car, Amity hiking up her skirt to get in properly. She tosses her bundle of clothes to the back of the car and buckles her seatbelt as Luz pulls off. "Do you want to get married now?" She asks shakily.
"Yeah. I'll pick the most expensive chapel. That must mean it's special, right?"
"...Not necessarily. It doesn't have to be expensive. As long as… as long as I still get to marry you."
Luz turns to watch Amity. "You couldn't back out of this if you
"I know. It's already too late." She leans back in her seat, reclining.
"You're stuck with me forever."
"And I'm glad about it," she smiles sweetly at her wife, watching idly as she drives, so easy breezy with one hand on the steering wheel, the other hanging out of the window.
For some reason, she's nervous now. The dress makes it all real, somehow.
She doesn't realize it, but this is the worst mistake of her entire life. She wishes she stopped herself.
The gentle breeze and vibration of the car engine lulls Amity off into a light nap as they drive into
the city she'd seal her fate. When she opens her eyes, she sees lights and billboards all along the freeway, and she knows where they are. "We're here."
"Yep, just fifteen minutes away from the chapel. Ready to get married?" Luz laughs.
"Yes… I've never been more ready." She says breathlessly.
It all just happens so fast, that they're grabbing the marriage certificate from under the seat, jumping out of the car and Luz ushering her into the small building. Her breath is taken away as she's asked to sign
paper, and they decline an Elvis Presley impersonator. Luz hands over the certificate to the receptionist and they wait in the front lobby.
Amity sits, inexplicably stiff in her seat as Luz just sits back like nothing is happening. Like this isn't the biggest moment (or mistake) of her life.
And then they're ushered into another side room. It's quite small, but it's definitely
room. There's only a simple wedding arch adorned with a cute flower garland, a few rows of chairs and a podium. There's no red carpet and no music playing. It makes Amity want to cry.
Before she knows it, she's standing face to face with her wife in front of the podium before the wedding officiant, a tired looking thirty-something man who's just waiting for his shift to be over. She can tell he's silently judging them, thinking how they're just like every other twenty-something gay couple who are in Vegas to get married for the night.
He clears his throat.
"Luz Noceda, do you take Amity Blight to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?
Luz seems nervous, her voice shaking. But she offers Amity a little grin, comfortingly squeezing her hands. "I do."
Amity breathes out, trembling.
"Amity Blight, do you take Luz Noceda to be your wedded wife to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so long as you both shall live?"
She simmers in the silence of the room, looks out to the empty seats. They're all alone. There's no one here. No one wants this. Her eyes water, but blinking them back, she looks back to her wife and sees her eyes widened calmly, an amused smile spreading across her face.
"I do."
"You may kiss the bride."
Amity huffs, numbly letting herself be pulled in by Luz to kiss her lips deeply, hoping that it'd give her some kind of reassurance. They both seemed to be overcompensating, and something settles in that
After they pull away, she subconsciously hears Luz thank the officiant, and they walk down the aisle out onto the terrace. The fresh air does wonders for her lungs that felt like they were stuffed with cotton. Luz pulls her in tightly for a hug, and she sobs into her shoulder. They don't say anything for a long while, just standing there and being close is enough to comfort her a bit.
After a while, Luz quietly asks, "What's wrong?"
Amity sniffles, pulling away. "Nothing. I'm just… really happy."
"So that's what we're going with, huh?" she laughs softly, kissing Amity's cheek, then slowly down to her chin. "What, do you regret not getting the Elvis impersonator?"
Amity giggles, lightly hitting her in the chest. "Shut up." She wipes her face with her forearm. "This is just… this is the biggest day of my life, okay? I'm a little in shock."
"It's okay." She watches her with a soft expression, wiping away another tear with her thumb. "Nothing else?"
Amity looks away, ashamed. She lets herself be pulled into another hug, resting her chin over Luz's shoulder. "I'm just a little disappointed that our family couldn't be here. It would've been nice."
She closes her eyes, feeling Luz's rubbing her back in soothing circles. "What difference would it make?"
"...er. Nothing, I guess."
"See, just think about it that way."
Amity goes quiet from shock, listening to the bustling traffic and city sounds surrounding them. "I guess so…"
Luz pulls away again to give Amity a sweet little kiss, brushing their lips together gently. "The night is still young," she laughs stupidly. "Wanna make the best of it?"
"We might as well."
she grins a cat-like smile, terrifying Amity to her very core.
"Y—yes," she answers, only because she knows it's what she wants.
And so they're off into the night again. They drive for a long while, but the whole time Amity's drowsy with sadness. It's not until they pull up to the bar of Luz's choosing that she gets overwhelmed, terrified of the idea of being around other people right now. She knows how insane Vegas gets with it's crazy night life.
"I'm afraid of what happened," she looks away. "Last time."
Luz clicks her tongue, lifting Amity's chin up with a finger. "You can't worry about that, princess. I've got you covered."
And, Amity
wants to believe it. She wants to put this kind of trust in Luz again, but there's a big hole in her heart that still hasn't healed. "How?"
"I'll make sure we don't have access to our phones until morning." She leans in to give her a sweet kiss, and Amity melts into it, hoping that'd convince herself. "Sound good?"
"Okay," she nods after a moment of hesitation. "Let's do it."
"That's my girl," she grins, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.
But for some reason, she's still got a bad idea about it. There's no going back as Luz pulls her along, away into the night.
"Hey," she greets the bartender warmly as they stumble in. It's like second thought as they sit down and she absentmindedly pulls out her ID to flash it to him. "Can you get me and
pretty lady the strongest thing you have?" she smirks deviously, gesturing with her thumb to a shaking Amity on the stool beside her.
"Luz, no!" She rushes to say, gesturing wildly. "She was just kidding. I'll take a margarita, if that's something you have." she says numbly.
"Sure thing. ID?" The man asks.
"Oh! Right!" She fumbles for her wallet. You'd think she'd be used to this by now. She pulls it out and shakily shows it to him, and when he nods in approval, Amity gets exactly two seconds of relief before he asks,
"How would you like that margarita?"
She pauses, her eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Luz wheezes, slapping her arm lightly. She leans in close to Amity and says smugly, "Never been asked that before, have you?"
"Um, I'm," she stammers, feeling like she wants to disintegrate under the confused stare of the nice bartender guy, Luz teasing her. "How do I
"Ah, just get her
that's fine for her." She waves it off, and he moves to start preparing the drinks. "I've got a few things I want you to try, so don't get too full."
"On… on the rocks?" She wrinkles her nose. "The hell does that mean?"
Luz grabs the back of her stool and spins it around to face her. She leans in to kiss her lips softly, whispering,
"I'd rather not be
on this kind of thing," she says in a low voice against her lips, because for goodness's sake, she is in a bar and she's a complete coward. "I don't want to get sick."
"Oh, we're
get sick," she says, like it's a good thing—like it's an accomplishment. "Just relax, baby girl," she strokes her arm, tilting her head to the side to view Amity's hesitant frown from another angle. At least it makes her crack a smile, and she roughly shoves Luz away. "Woah—!" She spins around slightly on the stool, pulling the counter to center herself again to face Amity. "Just be cool. I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe. And we just got married," she leans in again, biting at Amity's bottom lip.
she reaches up to hold her face, laughing softly and kissing Luz again. And they stay like that, leaned over and doing all kinds of absurd things to do in a bar, making out deeply and Luz even tries to feel her up a little bit. She's sure it's normal for this kind of place. It's a
That's until their drinks come.
The first thing Amity notices is the lack of rocks in her drink, and she is beyond confused. Luz laughs
and she slams her on the back. Amity flinches from the sudden gesture, shaky with nervous energy. She just wants to impress her wife.
"No, Amity. There's not actually supposed to be any rocks in it," she cackles, and Amity becomes irrationally stressed when she sees the bartender leaned over the counter with amused tears in his eyes, recovering from his best attempt at a discreet chuckle. What kind of person must they think she is? They must think she's a pathetic little girl who doesn't belong here. Like she can't handle some alcohol.
Luz knows she can handle it. That's why she's watching her so determinedly, a glint in her eye. Amity clears her throat and pulls her glass closer, a sparkle in the salt rimmed drink. She stirs it pretentiously, looking away. "I—I know that. I've learned the hard way that the names for these beverages are not literal," she says stupidly, only furthering her case when Luz and the bartender burst out laughing again.
Amity pouts, taking a large sip because she just can't take it anymore. She wants to be careless and free, in on the joke.
Really, she didn't want to drink
tonight. But Luz is so amused when Amity takes a sip of the drink she ordered for her, and then all of the sudden, time slips away from her. Everything starts to blur and distort in an earth shattering way, that somewhere in the back of her mind, she's afraid that she's lost control again. She can't seem to get it back.
Somehow, she ended up on something past five drinks, because Luz was just so pretty and good at convincing her. With just a few kisses and sweet words, Amity is hooked.
The next thing she knows, she's gazing down at the bill, and there's three digits. But Luz has a shiny black card, and Amity doesn't know why she worries.
They're both really, dangerously drunk, but the night is still young and so are they, thus there is not a second thought when they hop in the car to drive to the next stop, wherever that may be.
And then something occurs to her very abruptly. "Babe!" She gasps excitedly. "We didn't get a wedding cake!"
"Oh, shit. Yeah. You're right." Luz blinks, trying to steady the car to stay in the lane they're in. "Don't worry. I know
where to get us the prettiest, most perfect wedding cake."
Amity gets super excited, imagining edible pearls and fondant and buttercream.
buttercream and three tiers of delectable chocolate cake—
That's why she's a little disappointed when Luz parks them (very sloppily) in front of a run down Stater Bros. somewhere outside the hustle and bustle of the strip.
They rush into the baked goods aisle and pick the prettiest cake that they see first, and on the way out, Amity briefly remembers that they need to be able to eat it, so she grabs a box of plastic forks, knives and spoons.
When they get back to the car, she's half expecting them to get back inside. But instead, Luz is taking off her shoes, opening the door to toss them hastily inside.
"What are you doing?" Amity asks hazily, holding the cake in her hands. For some reason, it's the heaviest thing she's ever had to carry in her life, and it's really frustrating.
"We're gonna eat it up here," she says casually, starting to climb on the hood of the car. For a split second, Amity is confused as hell as she watches her wife struggle up the windshield. But then it completely starts to make sense as the pieces click together in her mind. "Give me the cake."
"Okay," she confusedly steps up to the side of the car to reach up and hand it to her. Shakily, Luz is able to reach it and it disappears over the roof of the car where Amity can't see. And she feels completely alone again, devoid of purpose as long as she is not near her wife. She'd do anything to be next to her right now. So she sloppily takes off her heels and tosses them to the ground and with everything she has, she climbs onto the hood of the car as well.
"Grab my hand, princess," Luz suddenly appears again with that smile on her face as Amity's trying to scramble up the windshield, offering a hand for her to grab. Her heart swells, and in her mind it's the most romantic moment ever. She takes it and is successfully able to get on top of the car with the help of Luz and her strong, beautiful, amazing self.
They sit beside each other with their legs crossed, and they look out onto the empty Stater Bros. parking lot, dark save for the blinking street lights. Cars occasionally drive past, and the dusk sets over the sky. But their night has only begun. Amity wouldn't have it any other way.
Amity's heart stops when she feels Luz scoot forward to sit behind her, her legs circled around hers. She wraps her arms around her waist and kisses her neck softly. Amity moans and reaches to hold her face from the side. "Babe," she laughs quietly, ticklish at the feeling of her gentle lips.
"What? Can't I kiss my wife?" She drifts down to her shoulders, kissing the spot between her neck.
"You can kiss me. Kiss me all night." She sighs dreamily. "But don't you want to taste some of our wedding cake?"
"Not more than I wanna taste you."
Amity whimpers. "Focus, babe. That's for later. I want us to enjoy this right now. We can have sex soon." She bites her lip. "Okay?"
"Okay. Fine," she groans softly and stops kissing her, which Amity regrets. She doesn't want to stop kissing. She twists around to kiss her comfortably, hoping that it's a good enough apology for pushing her away.
"I'm sorry. Don't stop kissing me. I like it when we kiss, baby." She kisses her sweetly and Luz moans quietly. "Do you want some cake?" Amity asks softly, kissing her again. They kiss deeply for a quiet, romantic moment until Amity pulls away. "I'm sorry… I keep getting distracted." She bites her lip and watches Luz anxiously.
"No worries,
she lightly kisses her nose, making Amity giggle. "Let's eat some."
"Okay," she leans back against her, feeling warm and safe in the arm that wraps around her, pulling her close. Amity carefully pulls the small round cake into her lap and takes off the clear plastic lid covering it. They have no plates, just a box of plastic cutlery. So she takes a fork and gets a small bite right from the edge of the cake. It's a mouth watering combination of buttercream frosting, fresh strawberries and fluffy yellow cake. It looks so delicious.
"You have the first bite," she turns slightly to face her wife, holding her hand under the fork to catch any crumbs that might fall. Luz looks somewhat embarrassed, but either way she opens her mouth to let Amity feed her. She slowly slides the fork back out, watching Luz expectantly as she chews, her mouth watering to taste some. "Is it good?"
She hums delightedly, quickly swallowing. "It's good. It's sweet, and… and delicious, like you."
Amity blushes. "Really, babe?"
"Of course," she leans forward and kisses her lips, so very delicately that it makes her heart do crazy things in her chest. Amity moans and holds her face softly, parting her lips when Luz slips her tongue gently to touch hers. She's so warm and sweet, like a lightly scorched cake. Desperate, Amity breaks the kiss to flick her tongue over Luz's lips, tasting the frosting still sweet on her. Luz laughs ticklishly, watching Amity with a sparkle in her eyes, looking at her like she's the greatest thing ever. "Let me feed you?"
is all she can say, kissing roughly down Luz's neck. She feels her hand in her hair and it sends a tingly pleasure up her spine, to feel her low moans, kissing her collarbone. She's addicted like it's wrong, obsessed with the way she sounds and the way she feels that it's insane. She's slightly maniacal, that constant ache between her legs is the worst it's been all night.
she huffs breathlessly, gently pushing her away. It makes her halfway desperate to be back on her, kissing her and making her moan. "Not now. Don't make me…"
"Let's do it. Let's have sex right now—," Amity climbs in her lap, kissing her deeply. Luz moans in protest, contradictingly wraps her arms around her back. They kiss quickly, frenzied and hot and fast paced.
Luz groans, and with a resolve of steel she pulls herself away. "What's wrong?" Amity trembles, looking at her with wide eyes.
"We can't have sex right here," she gently pushes her wife off of her lap, and she whines disappointedly. She feels odd about being the one with the brain for now. Usually, Amity filled that role. Guess she's too far in over her head. "We have to wait patiently, remember? You said it first." She says smugly.
"I know what I said," she groans sulkily, leaning her head on Luz's shoulder. "But why can't we?"
She thinks there's another reason, like the fact that they're on top of a car, or maybe that they're out in the open for anyone to see, but the one she chooses is, "There wouldn't be enough room."
Amity seems to understand then, but she stays close with her face buried in her chest, wrapping her arms around her from the side.
She whispers.
"We are close. Close as we can be," she smiles, rubbing her head gently. "You're my pretty little wife. And I know
how to cheer you up."
"How?"
Luz giggles. "You haven't even tried any of our wedding cake yet." Amity's eyes light up as Luz takes the same fork she ate from and gets a generous bite of cake on it just for her precious, beautiful Amity. She is reminded of her dilemma, the false reality she helped create when she is unable to keep her hand steady, shaky from all the alcohol she consumed earlier. "Open wide."
Amity sits up, teasingly sticking out her tongue before opening her mouth, and Luz gently feeds it to her. There's some frosting on the corner of her mouth, and for some reason Luz gets a really great idea and leans forward to lick it right off. Amity nearly chokes as she's trying to swallow, a soft tinge in her cheeks. "Babe," she complains. "You're driving me crazy."
"I'm not doing anything," she insists sweetly and leans back in to lick Amity's lips. She moans, tasting the sweetness of frosting and cake on her wife's mouth. It's nothing like
taste, but it's addicting like the bitterness of everything she drank, warm on her tongue. The flavor of her sweet skin. It turns her on, kind of. They kiss softly, Amity whimpering desperately. "I bet you want some more."
"I don't want anymore. You're making my stomach hurt." She leans forward to bury her face into her chest again, hanging on for dear life. "I feel like shit, Luz. I knew I can't… I shouldn't have drunk all of that."
Luz wrinkles her nose, and she becomes slightly captivated. She always liked to push Amity's limits, whether it was something big or as inconsequential as this. Amity says she's full, but was she really? Luz gets some more cake to feed her on the fork, with extra frosting and extra strawberries to make her stomach ache even worse. And she knows Amity wouldn't tell her no or anything. "One more bite for me?" She grins, bringing the fork to her chest near Amity's mouth, but she only turns her head away from it.
Amity pulls away to look up at her, a question in her eye. Luz answers by putting the fork to her lips, and with a little fuss, she opens her mouth and eats it. She chews slowly, glaring at Luz the whole time. "It's too sweet." She says, focusing on her wife as she finally swallows.
"I think it's good," Luz shrugs, leaning to get some more for herself. Amity watches in fascination, leaning to brush their lips together.
She says against her lips, licking them gently. Luz kisses her, distractedly setting the fork down to hold Amity close, and they kiss like they're in a fairytale or a movie, or something so extravagantly romantic like this moment is for the both of them.
Maybe romance is
the word. But it's so them.
They drive down the strip, Amity's head pulsing at the absolute sensory overload that it is. The lights, the buildings, not a spot uncovered by an advert, not a place uncrowded with people. She starts to feel quite stuffy, quite miserable and despite everything, happy.
She's happy it's with her.
She watches Luz as she peers out of the windshield to see the city of buildings in front of her. Somewhere in the back of her head, she is concerned that Luz is
watching the road, jam packed with cars, drunk people just trying to get somewhere and do something as stupid, perhaps just as stupid as them tonight.
They'd done this before, though. It wasn't such a big deal to Amity anymore, that her and Luz were drunk and are driving. She trusts Luz with her life, her body, her soul. She couldn't feel any safer than she is right now, with her wife. She bites back a sultry grin, watches her cute wife and imagines her— them, kissing and naked in bed together. That's really all she wants. She just wants to be close, to finally
married.
"Where are we going—," she hiccups. "Next?"
"I'm taking you to a hotel so I can fuck you." She smirked hotly at Amity, making her stomach twist into knots.
"What hotel?" She asks, breathless.
"Only the best for my pretty little wife," she sings, and Amity is charmed to the point of a stomach ache. "I've got the
place for you. The beds are
soft, so you'll be comfortable while I completely fucking destroy you."
she complains halfheartedly, giggling like a maniac. "I'm not… I can't … I'm not even sane enough for this!" She bites her lip.
Luz laughs, easy breezy, and they pull into the gate of some grand hotel, the building towering over and sparkling like it's made of gold. She feels a slight pang of something in her chest at the thought of how much it must cost to stay
night here. But if the beds were supposed to be comfy…
The part that really makes her nervous is the parking structure. Parking structures always make her nervous, giving her a sense of importance. This hotel must be pretty tiptop if it's got one of those. "Baby, we don't have to come here. It might be too expensive—,"
"No! We're totally staying here. It's perfect and sparkly and pretty just like you. I wanna impress you." She says as they pull into their parking spot, somewhere on the very top floor because it's jam packed tonight.
"You do impress me, babe. Everyday." She whines sadly. "I love you…
"Stop making me want to cry. I'm not gonna cry."
"It's okay to cry. This is the happiest day of our lives. It's weird if you don't cry."
"I'm
going to cry." She says sternly, and she flicks Amity on the nose before getting out of the car. She comes around to open the door and she gallantly helps Amity up onto her wobbling feet, supports her around her waist to make sure she doesn't fall.
Amity makes sure to grab their small overnight bag and she slings it over her shoulder. She likes being drunk, but there has to be
responsible, someone to think logically about things for a moment—even if that defeats the purpose a bit.
But Luz wasn't thinking. Amity was trying to think. She couldn't. Her mind was so foggy, clouded with thoughts of her, dizzy with excitement at the idea of what the rest of the night has in store for her. It'd been such a long, exhausting day. She is emotionally drained, physically and mentally as well. She was tired, but she would keep going, just for her.
They take an elevator to the bottom of the parking lot, and then cross a grand fountain and grass lawn to the main entrance. It truly is spectacular, and to be at a place like this with the one she loves feels so adventurous and sexy.
"Hi!" Luz stumbles to grab the counter at the front service desk, the receptionist staring at her and looking slightly terrified. "I'm gonna need a room for me and
pretty lady," she roughly jerks Amity close from around the neck.
Amity idly thinks—
Her cheeks suffused with color and she happily melts into the tight grip Luz has caught her in, feels content to just let her do the talking, handling the business.
"Of course," the woman typed something into her computer, looking back up expectantly at Luz. "Name?"
"Luz Noceda," she says airily. "You may have heard of me from, uh, Disney channel."
Amity slightly panics, lightly but sternly hitting Luz in the shoulder. She didn't want
recognizing them. She couldn't have anyone taking pictures or having any news of this getting out to the public. She gets especially nervous when the woman's eyes light up slightly in realization. "Oh, right. Of course. My kids love you."
"Heh. Thanks. I get that a lot." She fumbled to pull out her wallet, pulling out a credit card. She smiles broadly, sliding it across the counter to the receptionist.
She takes it politely from the counter. "There's a fee of two-hundred per night. How many were you looking to stay?"
Luz and Amity flinch.
"Damn! Two-hundred a night?" Luz groans. "Can you believe that shit, Amity? What the
That's
too expensive. Holy shit."
"That's too much. Can't we get a tourist discount?" Amity pipes in to ask, flying to the aid of her perfect, beautiful wife, and they are met with the bored expression of the receptionist.
"We aren't currently offering any discounts."
Luz hisses, her tone persuasive and light. "But really though?"
"Really."
"No celebrity discounts? Is there really,
,
for us you can do? Because we
famous, if I haven't told you. Do you like
I mean, they work in another…"
A different department, but I could hook you up to meet them!" She slurs.
"Not me personally, no. Thank you, though. Now how many nights would you like me to book you for, Miss Noceda?"
Luz slouches.
"Two nights." She settles finally, sulking. Her information is typed into the computer. "I'm paying a lot for this. This room
have a water slide." She points a sloppily threatening finger in the poor woman's face. "Also, can we get an extra soft mattress?"
"All of the mattresses are the same throughout the hotel, miss."
"Well, I need to make sure the bed is soft. See, this is my new wife," she pulls Amity closer, nearly suffocating her in her chest.
She giggles incredulously, biting her lip. She looks up dreamily at her wife, sighing with a tremendous ache between her legs. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she's terribly embarrassed.
"—And we're going to be having sex, all night. I don't want her back to hurt because
couldn't provide us with a soft enough bed."
The receptionist looks slightly mortified, and her eyes widen calmly. "I'll take note of that. Actually, our suites have mattresses made with goose feathers. I could switch you to that if you'd like."
"Goose feathers? Why the hell not? Yeah, switch us to a suite." Luz huffs, but she is thoroughly delighted. "Hang on. Is that gonna cost more?" She asks suspiciously.
"That's correct. To upgrade to a suite, it would be one hundred more."
The receptionist nods. "Three-hundred-fifty, to be exact."
"Fine. I'll take it."
"Great," she says cheerfully. She charges Luz's card and hands it back to her after a successful purchase. They quickly take their keycard and stumble through the lobby, hanging onto each other for support. They get into the elevator and Luz pushes Amity against the wall, and they make out until the doors open and release them to the very top floor where the suites are.
Amity is so stuffy that she doesn't really appreciate the small details of the room, like the stupid walk-in closet or the floor length panoramic windows.
The only thing she can do is focus on her…
"Wife." She bites her lip, staring at her
with temptation teasing her patience. She wants to fuck her right now and spend her first night as a married woman the right way. This was the way everyone else did it anyways, right?
"Fuck. I can't believe it. We're married, aren't we?" Luz kisses her, building the hot anticipation between her legs ever so slowly with each flick of her tongue and with every inch lower that her hand travels her body. She pulls away abruptly to tease Amity and she tugs her close by the waist. "We're
All that Amity can do is bite back the smile that begs to spread across her face and nod feverishly, seemingly confirming it for the both of them for the first time tonight. "
she breathes, her head spinning partly from the alcohol and partly from her incredulousness. Luz grabs her face firmly in her hands, pushing her cheeks in and puffing her lips out to kiss her again. Amity loves this. Loves her. She's so incredibly happy. This is all she wants forever. "We're wives, babe. Wives!"
"Amity Noceda," Luz smirks and hooks her finger smartly on the inside of Amity's lip, dragging it down and tracing a trail of her sticky saliva down to her chin. It makes her swoon to the point of a stomach ache.
"Fuck. Don't say that. I'm too dizzy." She stumbles into her wife's arms and she catches one glimpse of her concerned face before she nuzzles into her neck, taking in her sweet perfume and kissing the warm skin of her jaw. She loves her so much that it hurts. "I hope you're planning to fuck me all night," she demands.
"That's the plan," she laughs, and Amity gasps when Luz quickly pulls the zipper down on the back of her dress. "And in the morning you'll make us breakfast, right? Because that's what wives do."
"Of course my love! I'll make whatever you want, always. You're my wife and I'll do that for you,
She's incredulous when she hooks her fingers on the inside of her dress on both sides, pulling it down and it slips down to her hips, leaving her bra exposed. "Babe!" She giggles, lazily reaching up to slap her face. "You're such a pervert."
"You like that about me," she insists sweetly and unclamps her bra, tossing it away. She can't believe that her entire top half is completely exposed now. Goodness, her wife works so quickly. Luz firmly pushes her away and kneels down in front of her to slip the dress off of her hips. It falls to pool around her feet, leaving her shivering in nothing but her underwear. "You're so cute, babe," she tells Amity as she's stepping out of the dress and Luz pulls it away. She shifts to stand on her knees and kisses her stomach very gently.
"What are you doing?" Amity huffs, tangling a hand through her hair. The softness of her lips makes her dizzier as they trail lower and lower to the edge of her underwear. Luz's hands come up to hold her on her hips, discreetly slipping them down just slightly to expose the top of her clit. She gives her a quick lick and drags her tongue back up to swirl around her navel. "I can't stand up while we do this," she whimpers, her legs already threatening to collapse under her.
"Try to stay up. I wanna try something," she pulls her underwear all the way off and they drop to the dirty hotel carpet. She's never wearing those again— "Can you open your legs a little more for me, wife?"
"Of course. I can do anything you want," she assures her halfheartedly and on her unsteady feet, she widens her stance a bit, balancing all her weight onto her girlfriend's face pressing deliciously between her legs. "Oh, wow," she breathes out and distractedly grabs her hair again. Somewhere under the pleasure she's receiving from her wife, she's thoroughly frustrated that she doesn't have anything to hold onto. What if she falls? What if she can't hold herself up and she disappoints her amazing, beautiful girlfriend?—
She's going to have to get used to that.
But there's nothing she can do as she's slowly and deeply eaten out, feeling her wife's warm tongue swirling around inside of her, hitting each spot with exquisite precision that she'd mastered over the long years of doing this, her hands holding her hips gently. She loves her so much, she's so dedicated and diligent, pleasuring her so good just like she always does.
They're married. Fuck.
It chips away at her sanity, edging her closer and closer to the first of many orgasms she hoped to have to her wife tonight. Goodness, she thinks this is the best it's ever felt out of all the times. It's so amazing with the added pressure of standing up and pressing into her like this, the absurdity of doing this while standing up— the rebelliousness of it turns her on even more so.
It might be the alcohol making her feel tingly in her cheeks as she rocks her hips slowly, biting her lip and humming delightedly at the mix of sensation she's receiving, but she kind of regrets this, marrying her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thinks idly that this girl might actually be the death of her, and she might actually die.
she tightens her grip and yanks her hair affectionately, breathing heavily as she spills over the edge, her head pounding. "Oh, that's… that feels so good," she feels her tongue swirling around inside of her before she pulls back to wipe her mouth, a glossy sheen covering her lips and slightly on her nose. Amity's face goes hot, deeply flustered at the mess she made on her wife's face. "That was so amazing," she manages to choke out.
"I could tell," she stands back up to pull Amity into a hug, trying to pick her up but they end up falling onto the bed. She doesn't notice that the bed is probably made of thorns instead of goose feathers.
"Now knock me up and let's have a baby," she says hotly and yanks her wife down on top of her, crashing their chests together painfully. Luz just laughs and shuts her up with a passionately deep kiss, pulling away when the both of them need to breathe.
"I'm not sure that's how it works." She grabs her breast and squeezes tightly in her hand. It hurts just slightly but like an idiot, Amity loves it. She loves the dull ache and the unstable promise that this all means something. Finally. Maybe.
She gets a little sad, that maybe… "Wait, Luz." Her heart stops for a split second when her wife looks at her, concerned. She quickly looks away, nervous and feeling a little stupid for getting emotional right now. "Do you…" she bites her lip. "Do you want to have kids?"
Luz pauses. "Yeah. If you want to."
"I do…" she says urgently, burying her face in her neck. "I want to start a family with you one day."
"Okay,
One day, we can make that wish come true. Maybe when we're thirty. Maybe when we're less drunk."
"Okay. Yeah, you're right. I
really drunk and… my head hurts really bad."
Luz leans up to playfully kiss her forehead. "I bet I could make it better." Playfully walking her fingers down from her neck to her nipple again, she catches Amity by surprise and kisses her lips to taste the delicious moan it elicits from her. "I could take away all your pain."
"You cause most of my pain, babe. I'm hurting all the time because of you."
"But you like it." She says sternly, and maybe Amity
like it if she's using
voice, touching her so intimately like this, using and touching and playing her body like this, in exactly all the right ways.
The moments flash by, hot and possessive, romantic, crashing and falling, reaching the peak and height of pleasure, slamming back down with the sting and throb of her bite, jerking herself into the hand inside of her, aching for her kiss, yearning for more, settling for less, taking it all.
There's vibrations and penetration and pretty ribbons, compromising positions, and she slightly remembers being on the floor.
Anyways.
The parts she mostly remembers is when she gets to please her wife. She ends up between her legs, her smooth, chocolatey, perfect legs that she loves so much. There's a sweet taste, one she remembers vividly. Spends a lot of time thinking about later.
Luz whines loudly, running her hand through Amity's hair. "Ay," she rolls her hips methodically into her tongue, sweetly twirling her clit.
"This feels good, doesn't it baby?"
"Don't stop. Please," she hums, making Amity feel insane. She wants
of her sounds, more of the way she tastes, so warm and intoxicating on her tongue. She sucks gently on her clit, moaning delightedly when Luz practically screams, her moans erratic and carnal. She's never been so vocal about it before, and now Amity thinks she's addicted.
"I'm never stopping," she says, her mouth full of her cute wife. She never wants anything more.
Her moans turn into a burning hot, lewd memory, blending in with all the other wonders and pleasures of the night, washing her up like white noise on a peaceful, sandy beach. It's only a flood of things, her exhaustion and the orgasms, the careless build up, the violent fall down. It's flashy and overwhelming like the lights along the strip, dramatic and mindless like the billboards and shop signs.
That she doesn't even remember most of it. She was really drunk, after all.
When Amity wakes up the next morning, her heart thunders with dread. She shoots up in bed when she realizes that she's not at home and that this isn't actually her bed.
Her eyes quickly scan the room, her mind groggy and her head pounding. She looks over to find her cute girlfriend fast asleep beside her, snoring gently. She's wrapped up to her chest in the blanket, but her shoulders are bare, and something about that makes her chest ache.
She wonders very sincerely about what happened last night? What made this hookup so special that they had to come here? And where even are they? She finds her phone on the nightstand and opens Google Maps. Her heart nearly explodes with fear when it says
and the highlighted point on the map has them placed somewhere on the strip at a hotel.
She blankly places her phone face down on the nightstand, her hand brushing against something cold. She looked and noticed that it was a ring. Like, almost like a wedding ring and—
Oh.
Mortified, she slowly lays back down and curls into Luz, hanging onto her tightly with tears stinging her eyes. Are… are they married? Holy shit. Did they—
Luz stirs awake and stretches out with a loud yawn. "Good morning, princess," she says sweetly and nuzzles into her, hugging her close. "How are you feeling?"
"Luz? What… what are we doing here?" She trembles.
"What?"
Amity pulls away, watching her with disbelief. Luz raises her eyebrows and she looks caught off guard. She has to briefly stop herself from wanting to spiral into the way her messy hair looks so hot, like they had an especially rough night last night. "What are we doing here?" She swallows. "In Vegas?"
"You seriously don't remember?" She asks boredly.
Oh, but she
remember. She's just in denial.
"We're married, aren't we?" She whispers, not exactly sure why her throat is suddenly dry. She wanted this, right? All of those nights of feeling empty, wanting her closer. She
to marry her. So why is she filled with so much regret? Like there's no way out of this. Like she's just made the biggest mistake of her life.
Luz looks at her, concerned. "Are you… do you regret it?" She asks slowly.
Amity looks away, her breath getting caught in her throat. "No."
"Then what's the matter?" She softly kisses her forehead, holding a gentle hand to her wife's face and tilting her chin up to kiss her lips. Amity shakily kisses back, the love and desire she felt for her all comes flooding back again, and suddenly she remembers what made her do it. She can't remember the moment right now —because her head is throbbing from however much alcohol she consumed last night—, but she remembers feeling like this.
But as she kisses her lips, feeling so reassured by the gentle hand tangling through her hair, she wraps her arms around Luz's back. A wave of sadness hits her just then. She shouldn't have done this. She never should have gone this far with Luz. They were co-workers. And now they've lost their jobs and are struggling with everything that they were once so sure of, and now they're here, married to each other as a last minute hasty decision?
She ruined her life. They lost everything. And Amity ruined hers. Their lives are ruined. Everything's a mess, and they're adults, and they're jobless, and now they're married to each other. Tears spill out, running down her cheek and Luz pulls away when she whimpers. "What's wrong?" She looks mortified.
Amity tries to speak, but her voice comes out as a whimper. She buries her face in her neck, clutching onto her shoulder as she sobs. She hears Luz sigh and it's quiet for a while. They stay like that for a long time and the only time they have to move is when Luz has to go to the bathroom. When she gets back in bed, Amity clings right back onto her.
She's feeling a bit better after crying for thirty minutes straight, but she's still married to Luz and she's in some place she doesn't know and she's all she has. It all seems to settle in for her as well when she sighs and rubs at her eyes. "Oh man. We're married."
Amity stays quiet as they're both aware of their dilemma. She nuzzles softly into her shoulder and strokes her naked chest comfortingly. She feels completely trapped, and something about Luz being unsure makes it worse. This is her life and this is what it is. During her cry about everything, she's sort of kind of accepted it. She's ready to get up and try again. She isn't going to let it defeat her.
"Do you wanna see if we can divorce? Is that how it works?"
"No," she says quickly. Even if she'd regretted this, she hadn't thought not even once about divorcing already. "I want to work through this. Let's stay married, okay?"
"Are… are you sure?" Luz pulls away a bit and she looks sternly at Amity. "I don't want you to feel like you're stuck with me. I mean… I thought this was what you wanted."
She looks away, face burning with shame. Her wife is so beautiful. And even if she did regret it, every moment with her has given her another reason to want to stay. She never wanted to leave, she was mostly mad at herself for making a life commitment to someone who clearly wasn't ready for something like this. Neither was Amity. But laying here with her, feeling her close, hearing her voice. Thinking about how long it's been, how far they've come. It makes sense that they're married now, right?
"It is what I want. I've told you, haven't I?" She reaches up to gently hold her face and she presses their foreheads together. "You're all I want. I want this, no matter what."
"And I want you. We… we can do this. If you want."
"Of course I want that, my love. If we love each other then that's all we need to move forward."
"You're right,"
Amity pulls away again, a newfound desire in her heart to keep trying. For her, she'd never give up. For her… for her kiss, for her touch. She gives her a gentle kiss and she's surprised when Luz holds her face and deepens it. Amity giggles, falling back when her wife falls on top of her. "I love you so much," she tells her in between kisses, squirming under the hand teasing at her nipple.
"Love you too. Wanna go get something to eat?" She asks, which is completely unfair with
the way she's touching Amity right now.
"Not until you fuck me," she huffs incredulously. "You can't just do that and leave me hanging."
"Okay, fine," she says slowly, her voice gentle and there's room for compromise, like real people do. That relieves Amity more than anything, and she lets out a little whimper feeling Luz's hand over her sensitive clit. She's so sensitive all over, from being bitten and scratched and pushed and pulled. Her bones ache, but for just a moment she relaxes to enjoy her wife's hand, making her feel so good.
After showering and freshening up for the day, they head down to the lobby of the hotel to check out the complimentary breakfast bar, as was Luz's request. Amity couldn't really care less. Really, her mind's still foggy and her eyes are heavy with tears. She still wants to cry, but the happiness she feels is what keeps the ghost of a smile on her face as she clings close to her wife on the walk down the hallway. She hangs onto her arm and trails close behind her, burying her face in her back because she smells so good like fresh soap and a fall evening. She looks so cuddly in her grey sweater, and all Amity really wants to do is be close to her.
This was sort of like their honeymoon, if she thought of it that way. Just nothing special. She never thought she'd have her honeymoon in Vegas. It's all sort of cheap and typical to her. But she can't be too mad as she sits across from her wife at a small table in the cafe, watches her devour a stack of waffles drenched in way too much syrup. Amity sips her cup of coffee, and she wonders what made her like coffee all of the sudden, even if she knows.
She can't stop looking at her, it's like she's wearing a rose colored pair of tinted glasses. Everything's so perfect and amazing about her that she can't quite believe it, how she ended up here with her.
She just wishes things were okay. Wishes they were normal. It's not like she should be happy about this, not like she can. She can't tell her siblings about this, or wear her ring out in public. She can't let anyone know. But there's a certain romance about that. She was willing to try, as long as it'd work.
"What are you thinking about?" Asks Luz sweetly, her chin rests on her hand. Amity blinks, a bit embarrassed to have been caught so lost in thought. "You're staring off into space again."
"I…" she looks away, thinking. She doesn't quite know anymore. "I want to go home."
"Okay." She watches her for a moment. "I did pay for two nights though. We can leave if you really want to."
"Yes, I want to," she hesitates and bites her lip anxiously. "I need to be in my bed."
"Alright. Is everything okay
?"
Amity nods and she slightly pushes her mug away. "I'm fine. I'm just… I'm a bit overwhelmed right now."
Luz nods, looking away.
They check out at the front counter, and everything feels so very slow. She watches, waits patiently as her wife interacts with the receptionist, takes her credit card out of her wallet to receive her refund. She feels bad that she'd cut the trip short, but really she didn't have it in her anymore. She couldn't have sex and she didn't want to be away from home any longer. She needed some normalcy, something familiar to hang onto. She doesn't even want to be around Luz for at least a day, just to get her thoughts together and make up her mind.
Amity sleeps away most of the drive back, and she only wakes up when Luz stops to fill the tank about halfway there. The only thing she tells her when she gets back in the car from pumping the gas is, "I love you,"
"Love you too."
The next time she wakes up is when there's a sudden lack of motion and she opens her eyes to see that they're parked in front of her apartment complex—she almost wants to cry because she's so grateful and happy to be back. She wants to kiss Luz's face and give her a head pat for getting her safely back, but mostly she just wants to be alone.
They lug the suitcases into her apartment and that's when Amity asks Luz. "Can we… be apart for a couple of days?"
"If you want," she says but she looks confused. She even more confusedly takes Amity into her arms for a hug, and she gives her soft kisses on her forehead.
She whispers. "I promise we'll make this work. I just need to get my thoughts under control."
"Alright," she sounds unsure. As she's leaving she says, "text me, 'kay?"
"I will."
Amity doesn't unpack. She leaves her suitcases right where Luz left them and she goes straight to her bed and she cries, all day. The only time she comes out of her room is to get a bowl of cereal around two in the morning.
She misses Luz too much, but being around her right now is just too unbearable. She really doesn't know what her problem is. This is what she wanted! She thought she did…
She looks down at her ring, so pretty on her hand. She doesn't feel whole when Luz is not around. She's not used to Luz not being around. She wants to feel her kiss, cuddle into her chest. Ugh. Maybe she should divorce her. Maybe it's all just too much.
She decides to turn on the TV to get her mind off everything. It's all just such a mess. Everything's so bad. It feels like there's no way out. She's too tired right now. Maybe if she just gets some rest…
Amity wakes up to her phone buzzing. It's been two days since she last talked to Luz. She wanted space, and she was happy that she finally called, but was it weird that she was sort of upset about not getting a call on the first night? She doesn't know.
"Hi," she says, anxious excitement swirling in her chest as she waits for her wife's voice on the other line. She hadn't heard it in so long. She puts her phone on speaker and sets it down beside her on the bed to rid herself of some of the anxiety. She hugs a pillow to her chest.
"Hey," she sighs. "Do you want to get a divorce?"
Amity blinks. "No! Babe, I want to be with you. I just need… I just want to think about everything first."
"Okay, I get it. I just need to know like, what the problem is so I can help fix it." She sounds worried, like it's eating her up inside, and somehow that comforts Amity. Her heart turns into mush and she wishes Luz were in her arms right now. "Can you tell me how you're feeling?"
"... Of course, my love. I love you. I'm alright."
"I love you too. And I feel so horrible because you looked so sick on Friday. I didn't know what to say or do or, I don't know."
"Aww," she wants to sob. "I love you so much, Luz. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, okay?"
"Okay then. Can I come see you?"
"Absolutely."
"'Kay. I'll be there in an hour. I just woke up so give me a little to get dressed. Be ready to go, okay love?" She says, and Amity realizes that she's right. Her voice sounds slightly raspy like it always does when they first wake up, and her heart thrills at the thought that she was the first thing Luz thought about when she first woke up this morning. She imagines how she must look, must feel, must be. She would do anything to wake up in her arms again.
"Of course," she sighs, breathless from how badly she wants her. "Don't keep me waiting for too long."
She hears Luz giggle on the other line, and the phone hangs up. It leaves Amity feeling empty and desperate, so despite her aching heart, she gets up to get ready. She does her make up, perfect for Luz. She wears a pretty outfit to impress Luz, and puts on a sweet smelling perfume for Luz.
She isn't truly happy until Luz finally arrives and she's in her arms, kissing her wife deeply. She sighs in relief, gladly melting under her warm lips, getting so turned on as her kisses turn rough and passionate. She would never leave her side ever again. "I missed you, baby." she says, out of breath.
"I missed you, too. I'll never leave you again."
Amity looks at her, speechless and tears well up in her eyes. Luz smiles gently, a kind of sadness in her eyes as she cups Amity's face, swiping her thumb over her quivering bottom lip.
Amity's voice comes out as a squeaky whisper.
"I love you too. Wanna stay married?" She laughs when she nods eagerly and gives her a quick peck. "Can I take you out?"
"Yes!"
They end up at a small donut shop in the neighborhood, sitting in the warm sunlight, bright through the window. Amity is over the moon because Luz held the door open for her, and paid for the donuts. Her stomach is in knots and she doesn't think she could possibly eat anything right now, but the sweet smell of fresh dough throughout the shop has her mouth watering to try.
That's why she nearly has a heart attack as she's taking a bite of her maple bar when Luz asks, "What's been on your mind?"
It almost kills her to answer, because she's practically a puddle for Luz. The chocolate on the corner of her mouth doesn't help, and Amity doesn't know what she's thinking as she reaches over their small table to wipe it off with her thumb and then licks it off. Somehow, the thought that it had been on Luz's mouth makes it more delicious. She sees Luz's smug look, her bedroom eyes and it makes her delirious.
"I, uh…" Amity comes up speechless. Regaining her composure, she says friskily, "You
what's been on my mind."
Luz hums, gratified as she takes a sip of her coffee. "I
know. I've been thinking about it a lot, too." she grins.
Amity flushes, her jaw dropping slightly because she's just so amazed by her wife. "You… have?"
Luz nods ominously and she takes another bite of her donut. Amity watches, entranced as she licks over her lips to collect the messy glaze sugar. "Mhm. You want me to…" she individually sucks the icing off her thumb and index finger, not once losing eye contact with her.
"I wish I was that donut," Amity bites her lip slightly, thinking out loud. Luz giggles, nodding observantly.
"I see. You wish I would… eat you, … kind of like I'm eating this donut?"
Amity nods violently.
"I will," she pauses thoughtfully for effect, which drives Amity wild.
I need you to talk to me first. Isn't that why we came here?"
"R—right." Amity looks away, defeated. Her thoughts have scattered with the wind and she can hardly even think straight with the way her perfect, amazing wife looks, eating her donut so seductively, if that's even possible. Luz can make anything sensual and make it hard to focus, a skill she acquired because Amity's such an easy hookup. And Luz has done many things, but why was this the thing that's got her so turned on? "...Talk about what, exactly?" she stammers stupidly.
"About our marriage." She says very simply, and Amity almost dies. That sentence alone was almost too much to handle. "I want you to tell me how you're feeling about everything. I don't want you to feel stressed, so I figured we could just talk it out and I'll do whatever you need."
She asks, breathless. Luz nods again, and this time it's firm and comforting. She places a hand over hers and Amity rushes to turn her palm up to hold it tightly in hers.
"
you need. I love you, and I wanna make this work, if you want to."
She blinks, absolutely destroyed and nothing is in her head except
She is so in love with her. "Fuck," she breathes. "I'm… I…" she looks at her precious girl, her beautiful wife and she wonders,
For a moment, she forgets that this girl has hurt her, has put her in the very state that she's in. She's made her feel so many things… burning pleasure and searing pain. She doesn't know where to draw the line. Everything has started to blur together and all she feels is Luz. She's consumed her life.
"Take your time, my love." she says softly.
"Gosh. I'm sorry," Amity shakes her head vigorously, trying to clear her mind. Everything is so distracting, the smell of pastries and the bright sun, the person sitting in front of her, it's all too much. Her stomach is starting to hurt after just a few bites, it's ominous and ground shattering. "I'm just… "I've missed you so much. It's been so long since we've…" she nervously glances up to meet her eyes and finds Luz watching her closely— it's enough to throw her off track again.
"Wife. It's been two days." Luz bites back a laugh, it's sweetly condescending.
"I—I
She bites her lip anxiously, feeling ashamed. Goodness, she's so consumed by her bad thoughts. She wouldn't be able to think about anything until her mind is cleared, the ache between her legs taken care of. "I just think I'd have a better answer for you, after…"
"After what?"
"Sex," she hesitates, instinctively lowering her voice. Luz pauses, and she looks a bit awkward. She hopes she isn't hurting her feelings, sex being the only thing she can think about right now. They're… more or less on the same page. This relationship started for all the wrong reasons, and the reason they're married now probably isn't for a good reason either. Amity can't help but feel bitter about it, even now. She knows Luz only did it to spite her, knew she wouldn't be able to say no.
Luz knows.
They're just two terrible, sick people married to each other because they're addicted to sex and they're addicted to each other and they can't let go because each other is all they have. That's how Luz feels. That's how Amity feels.
"Okay," Luz says slowly. "We can have sex."
"Really?" Amity's heart races. Luz nods and she hesitates to speak again.
"But—, we're married now, aren't we?" She asks and Amity nods.
There's a short moment of silence before she says,
"I… I don't know." She breathes.
"We need rules."
Amity nods slowly, looking away embarrassedly at the concept of needing
to make a relationship work. Only them. Only her and Luz, so destroyed beyond repair. They're keeping what little they have left, just trying to make it work. It has to work. She only wants Luz. "I agree, if—if that's what you want."
"Work with me here," she sighs. "I'm just as confused as you. I've… never done this before."
Amity squeezes Luz's hand in hers. "That's okay, babe. Me either." She thinks of something, something she will probably regret later, but something that sounds competent right now. She watches her for a moment, noticing the rising panic in her eyes. Fuck. What is her life? She sighs. "I don't think we need to change anything. Just… just because we're married now doesn't mean we should change the way we feel about each other. Or the way we are. I… I like the way we are."
Luz nods hesitantly, and her eyes widen calmly. "That sounds right. I think."
"I think so too." She swallows. If they're both uncertain, she's going to overthink this. She needs to be certain for Luz, to make her feel better. "Trust me on this, okay?"
"Always." she says quietly.
"And I trust you. I don't want us to worry about this. Let's just enjoy being together. It's me and you forever, Luz."
That seems to comfort her a bit, and so Amity is too. She takes her hand away to take Luz's cup of coffee. She's extra careful to put her lips exactly where her wife drank from, tasting the bitter, slightly warm liquid on her tongue. At this, Luz nods disapprovingly, smiling gently. "I asked you if you wanted coffee."
Amity hums, swallowing before giving her answer. "I only want yours." Another sip.
"What's your problem?" She asks affectionately.
"I love you, that's the problem."
They leave the donut shop and they head straight home to have sex. They stumble into Amity's apartment and she kisses Luz deeply, wrapping her arms tightly around the back of her neck. She's delighted when her wife holds her around the waist, kissing her back just as much, if not more.
It's like a dream, kissing her lips. Feeling her tongue. She loves it when Luz tangles a hand through her hair, moaning softly into her mouth. She feels like a princess, so special and cherished and
Finally, she feels loved— because Luz asked her to marry her, and that had to count for something, didn't it?
She doesn't stop kissing her, because this person is her life, and this
her life. She's so dreamy and everything she's ever wanted. She doesn't think she needs anything else in life to be happy. She swirls her tongue around hers, and she tastes the vague hint of glaze sugar on the warmth of her. It makes her want to taste
It's addicting and consuming and— she pushes Luz against the wall, overwhelmed with arousal and it's only the rush of excitement she gets that gives her the strength for it. They finally break away and they pant for air. "You're desperate, aren't you?" Luz breathes.
"I'm so desperate." She assures her friskily. She tugs at her wife's collar, pulling it down to put her mouth on her skin. She nips her collarbone, getting so hot when she whimpers. "You're making me crazy, baby."
"Ah, stop, stop," she hisses when Amity gets a little carried away with her possessiveness, biting her skin until it hurts. She's already got a hickey on her neck and has started another one right below it. Luz pushes her hysterical little wife back and firmly holds her away when she tries to lunge forward again. "Hang on. What are you doing?"
Amity blinks. "What… what do you mean?"
"You're about to eat me alive…" she chuckles, out of breath. She carefully drags the back of her index finger along Amity's soft, swollen lips. Amity shivers and hesitantly takes it into her mouth, just wanting a part of her wife to be inside of her. "I'm so sorry, Amity. I'm sorry I made this… I made you like this." She strokes the center of her tongue, gently applying pressure on the back.
She slowly pulls Luz's finger out of her mouth and kisses her hand.
She says and Luz bites her lip anxiously. "You don't need to apologize. I… I love you. Maybe I'm too far gone. But I don't care."
"I am too." She gently reaches to hold Amity's face in her hand. She affectionately nuzzles into it and Luz laughs, quiet and maniacal.
Our lives are ruined. We're fucked. Everything's ruined, Amity."
Amity leans forward and brushes their noses together before giving her a sweet kiss.
Luz huffs and pushes her into a deeper kiss, and she gets so worked up when Amity moans. "We're married."
"Mhm," she grins, slowly kissing down her neck. It makes Luz crazy, so crazy for Amity that she groans, feeling her soft, sweet little lips trailing down. Then she lifts up on her tiptoes to whisper close to her ear,
Luz nods, speechless.
They rush to the bed and Luz is on top of her, kissing softly down her neck. They fit so perfectly together, like they belong exactly like this. She's
to be between her legs, their bodies pressed comfortably together, Amity grinding against her. She's supposed to make her feel good, hear her quiet whimpers and feel her hands on her. She was made for this. Made for her.
"Hey, ...Amity?" She asks quietly, pressing a tender kiss under her chin.
"Yes, my love?"
"You think we're soulmates?"
Amity is quiet for a moment. "Yes…" she says hesitantly—moaning when Luz nips roughly at the sensitive skin on her neck.
"No you don't."
"Yes I do. I… I was made for you, baby." She rolls her hips into Luz's knee, breathing heavily. "I was made for this."
And, Luz thinks maybe she guessed right if they were both thinking the same thing. Maybe they
soulmates.
They make out roughly, Amity holding a gentle hand in her hair as Luz traces down her chest with a teasing finger, a tinge of regret rushes through her. She feels her wife's lips against hers, kissing her so passionately because she doesn't know what else to do. She's pleasantly tired of this. But it's not like she'd ever let Amity go.
She's all she knows.
"Babe, wait," she suddenly pulls away and Luz watches her confusedly. "You have to undress me."
"Why?" She asks, her mind still hazy and cloudy from their kiss.
"We can't have sex with our clothes on," she giggles, taking Luz's hand in hers and slowly guiding it to her hip.
she whispers.
Luz kisses her neck before moving off of her, the ache in her chest devastated to not be up against her wife anymore. She doesn't know how to feel about this girl, really. Not anymore. She doesn't know what to feel. She's confused, and severely in love with her. She guesses she should just do what she asks. Give her what she wants.
She pulls off Amity's socks, folds them neatly in a bunch together before tossing them on the ground near the dresser. Then she pulls her pants down her hips, pulling them off her legs as Amity shifts to make it easier. She takes her shirt off by herself and she is suddenly deliciously naked, save for her neon coral pink bra and panties. Her eyes hurt to look at it, but it's something so perfectly Amity that she can't complain.
"I want you completely naked," Luz demands halfheartedly, and she knows that Amity is delighted by it.
"It's all up to you, baby." Amity sits up, tilting her head and smiling sweetly at her. Luz only sighs, but she is thoroughly amused. She leans in close and buries her face in her wife's neck, kissing her shoulder. "You're so perfect," she breathes quietly, gently petting Luz.
"Don't say that," she whimpers, feeling so incompetent. "Please."
"Don't worry about any of that," she says, and it almost makes it worse for Luz to wonder what she could possibly be talking about. "To me, you're perfect. And it's just you and me."
"You're…" Luz sighs. She reaches around her cute wife to unhook her bra, and she kisses her neck again, deeper this time. She just can't get enough of her. She loves her persistence, so willingly handing herself over even after everything. Loves how soft she is, how sweet she tastes.
A long while later, Amity stirs awake, disoriented and a bit sweaty. She
in Luz's arms, and when she realizes that, a rush of serotonin floods her body. She feels all worked up just being so close to her. She's so happy. She's never leaving. She presses closer, naked skin sticking together.
She lazily brushes her lips against Luz's collarbone, sticks her tongue out slightly to taste her. She jolts when she hears her wife giggle, not knowing she was awake. "Babe," she says, breathless.
"So you lick me when you first wake up?" She asks teasingly, gently stroking her hair. Amity's mouth waters with want and desire, pulling away slightly to look at her beautiful wife. She grins before Amity just isn't capable anymore and catches her lips in a passionate kiss, so full of love and need. Luckily, Luz kisses back just as deeply, holding her face gently. Amity's chest aches and she feels miserable with romance. It's the best type of misery.
When they finally pull away, Amity pants for air. "I'm so in love with you."
"I love you too," she laughs softly. She gets this affectionate look on her face, watching Amity closely. It makes her scared for a split second, because she'd never gotten that look before. It's almost terrifying. And somehow, Amity wants to return it, but she doesn't know how. She kisses Luz again, then sweetly kisses her nose. Then her eye, then her cheek. She can't get enough of her, ever.
Something in her knows it's too good to be true.
"Say it." Amity demands. "Say that you're in love with me."
Luz doesn't say it though.
She devastatingly pulls away to sit up in bed, leaning over to get her phone from the nightstand. Amity's breath gets caught in her throat because she needs to do something,
to make her stay. She kisses her hip and gently holds her thigh, stroking down to her knee. "Don't go." She whispered.
"We both have places to be," she says softly and tangles a hand through her hair as she scrolls through her phone. "Let's at least get dressed."
"No," Amity shoots back evenly, and it's ominous when she moves to lay between Luz's legs, her face dangerously close to her cute little—
"What are you doing?" She asks slowly. Amity grins at her with a glint in her eyes, one that couldn't possibly mean anything good. Her heart pounds in her chest and she takes a deep breath to steady herself. She can't believe how lucky she is, how special this is for her. She softly kisses her wife on the lower part of her thigh, dragging her fingers all the way down from her stomach to put a gentle pressure just an inch above her clit. Immediately, she hears her breath hitch and she moans quietly. "Why are you doing that…?"
"I want to taste you, baby. That's all," she hums sweetly, kissing a slow trail to meet her fingers and then decisively puts a quick kiss below her clit, teasing her with the build up of hitting just the right spot. Luz shivers, hastily tossing her phone away before shifting to lay back on her elbows to allow Amity a better angle. She feels so grateful, so special to have earned her wordless approval. She strokes a finger slowly down her flat tummy, stopping just short of her clit. Going back to the very top, she strokes down once again, stopping a bit lower this time. "How does that feel, my love?"
"So good, baby," she says in a quiet whisper, and it makes Amity halfway maniacal. She's barely touched her, but she knows that the anticipation of a touch is just as much as the real thing. She presses her tongue flat to sink finally between her soft folds, and Amity feels her warm and soft, pulsing against her.
she slowly rolls her hips in time with the slow rhythm that Amity drags her tongue up and down along her walls on the inside, deliberately avoiding her sweet spot.
"You like that?" She asks hotly, keeping burning eye contact with her as she pulls away slightly to start at the bottom up with a shaky lick between her folds again. She can feel her wife trying to keep herself together even through everything. She doesn't stop watching Amity either, watching every move with a stern eye, a stern acceptance of each devastating lick. She hears her breathing pick up as she just lightly pokes her tongue over the sensitive spot at the top of her clit, twirling her tongue when Luz lets out a helpless little whimper. "Is this driving you crazy?" Her voice is frisky, feeling her own clit pulsing with excitement.
"So crazy," she huffs, panting. "Do—on't stop." She leans up to run her fingers through Amity's hair, jerking her hips into each gentle fold of her tongue. "Such a good girl. You're so focused, aren't you?" Luz bites her lip.
"I'm working so hard to impress you," Amity plays along sweetly, impulsively bites her lip, overwhelmed with excitement and possessiveness. She brings her index finger down to swirl tight little circles at the center of her clit, flicking her tongue across her folds. She feels like such a good girl, a girl who's finally found her purpose. She's figured out exactly what she wants to do for the rest of her life. "Do you like that, my love?"
she breathes out, unraveling like a ball of yarn right at the mercy of Amity and her diligent mouth, working so hard to please her.
"You're so sweet, baby. I
tasting you. You taste so good," she says playfully, and she thinks of trying something. She gently kisses her again, adding to the sweet, sticky mixture of a mess that she'd made with her burning arousal. Amity spreads her folds wide open with her index and middle finger and pokes the tip of her tongue deep inside again, trying to get everything she can, savoring every second that she gets. "My god, babe. You wet yourself so much. You're getting so worked up over me, aren't you?"
Luz doesn't answer, because she physically can't. She continues to breathe loudly, and her hips are grinding her tongue with jerky motions, moaning sweet little nothings and swears in Spanish. It's so, so hot. Amity chokes out a little whine as she slipped two fingers inside of her cute wife. "I'll make you come so hard, okay baby? Come for me," she moves her fingers in a thrusting motion, fucking her tight walls and pressing tightly against her clit with each thrust. "Do it now, come on baby," she begs.
"Fuck, Amity," she cries out and tugs her hair, hyperventilating herself with frenzied excitement, because Amity is such a caring, giving girl. She can feel Luz getting tighter, so she picks up the pace, fingering her sex faster, licking her in all the right spots, giving her everything she could possibly spare, hoping that maybe Luz would stay a little longer and cuddle with her. She thinks maybe, after Luz has had her ground shattering orgasm, she'd return the favor or give her praise, show her how
it affected her—.
But no.
Luz leaves her to get in the shower, and Amity feels incredulously betrayed. She did all that hard work to make her stay and she still found a way to leave.
She curls up on herself, sulky and trembling, broken beyond repair. She waits for her to come back, hot tears rolling down her cheeks.
She just wants to feel loved and close to her. Why couldn't she understand Luz? She thought she was finally starting to get it—get
She thought they were good. She thought they were in love. Amity should have known. Luz is a taker. They're nothing like each other. Luz takes, takes, takes everything away. Her best efforts, all for Luz to take. What will it take to finally earn her attention?
It's not fair.
It's been a while, and Amity quickly opens her eyes when she hears the bathroom door open and Luz comes back into the bedroom. She's got her bra and leggings back on and Amity watches her, speechless as she slips her shirt on and then sits down beside her on the bed to slip her socks on.
She wants to say something, but what? What could Amity possibly say that would properly convey the astonishment she felt right now, the absolute swelling thunderstorm of emotions swirling round in her chest? She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. Luz looks at her and raises an eyebrow, pulling her sock over her ankle.
"You're breathtaking," is what she manages, sitting up in bed. Luz smiles and rolls her eyes.
Staring at her, sometime then she internalizes that Luz is getting dressed, and suddenly she feels underdressed, being naked and all. She quickly holds the blanket over her chest, nervously meeting her eyes as she looks at her. "Stop that," she grunts. "And stop being cheesy."
Amity looks away, ashamed. "...
she says quietly and lays back down to curl up again, squeezing her eyes closed tight to soothe the pain of more tears stinging. "I guess I'm just in a mood right now."
"Over what?"
"Over
she sighs when Luz doesn't answer. "I just started thinking about us. How we're in love, and that we're together. How happy you make me. How we're… you're my wife." she bites her lip and a single tear streams slowly down her cheek. "And you're really beautiful. I'm just so in love with you and I don't know how to cope. And the only thing I want is to be in your arms, forever."
Luz sighs after a while, and she climbs back in bed to lay in front of Amity. Star struck, Amity watches her as she shifts to get comfortable. "... There's a little extra time. I'll cuddle you for ten minutes and then I want you to get dressed, okay?"
Amity nods silently, sniffling. Luz smiles gently and wipes away her tears with her thumb. "You're so funny." She laughs quietly, kissing her forehead softly. She gasps when Luz pulls her close, her pathetic, aching, bruised and naked body pressed up against Luz's clothes. She feels her bury her face in her hair and she tenderly strokes her back. "Why are you so emotional?"
"I can't help it… when I look at you, I…" she nuzzles softly into her chest. "I get so…"
"I know." She says thoughtfully. "And… you know I love it when you're all sappy like this."
"I know," she laughs a little, despite everything. She wants her closer, so she holds on tight to her wife for dear life and she takes her in, her scent and her sound and her warmth, she feels it with every inch of her body and— she still wants more. "It's just you and me, baby. Nothing else matters at all."
"Just you and I,
"I just want you to know… you're all that I need, forever. We're together. And we've been through a lot, but it was all worth it, wasn't it?" She looks up at her, hoping that maybe her wife would have the answer, because somehow Luz being sure makes everything alright, even if Amity was never quite sure herself.
But instead, Luz's eyes fall away, and she looks like she's going to say something but quickly decides against it. "Right."
Amity buries her face back into her neck, feeling unsettled and hysterical. Luz doesn't think so. Amity knows so. But if she just ignores it, then it's not true. It'll go away.
She trembles, grabbing a handful of her shirt, trying to ground herself. "I love you."
"I love you too. That's… all that matters."
Amity shifts her mind back to her favorite parts, not the abuse or her bruises or the anguish she's endured for years. She's made progress.
made progress. Everything's okay now, they're married. That made everything better. That fixed the problem.
—
Luz sighs, slouching as she looks at herself in the mirror. Amity bit her last night, and she hadn't realized it at the time, but a bruise has begun to form there. A deep, dark, painful bruise.
The pain pulses, sharp and achy up her neck, down her arm. She experimentally pokes at it and immediately hisses, the pain becoming more intense to the very touch. She gently touches around it, finding that it hurts to even touch the spots near it.
It's not a big deal, just inconvenient.
For some reason, it's got Luz feeling sulky. She had never gotten bruised from Amity before. It was sort of her token, what set her apart from the relationship. Amity has all kinds of physical evidence that Luz is possessive, and even if Amity was possessive of Luz, no one would know it. She never had a scratch from her.
But now… she's lost that liberty. She's not sure how she likes it.
Amity snaps her out of her thoughts, coming up gently behind her and wrapping her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder. She looks amused, eyeing the dark spot between her neck and shoulder in the reflection of the mirror. Luz almost feels ashamed about it, and it had been a brief idea in her mind that she might try to hide it from Amity. It was too late for that, but she already knows damn well that nothing gets past Amity, ever.
"It won't take long to heal up," she says softly, and Luz almost wants to let herself be soothed by the familiar sound of her wife's voice close to her ear. She hums, tilting her head decisively. "It's actually quite a nice look for you."
Luz blinks, slightly disappointed when Amity pulls away to stand beside her at the sink. She's conflicted. She doesn't know. She's just figuring out that she's probably a little upset at Amity for doing this to her, marking her body up like this. She watches as she digs through her little makeup bag, pulling out a small tube of aloe vera
and handing it over to Luz.
Confusedly, she takes it. Anger swirls around in her stomach, and she stares down at the strange tube of gel. "You just rub it over your bruise. That heals it faster." Amity explains sympathetically.
"Oh," she says, dumbfounded. She could have guessed that. She glances over at her wife as she's brushing out her eyelashes with a small lash wand. "I've never had one before…" she sighs.
"I know," Amity smiles sweetly at her, gesturing at the many bruises all along her shoulders, collarbone, neck and chest. "Welcome to the club. We're boo-boo buddies."
Luz groans, ashamed and guilty to her very core. Frustrated, she opens the tube to squeeze out a little bit of the gel directly onto her bruise, rubbing it in slowly. After a moment, it's got a cooling sensation on her damaged, tender skin. It actually feels
good.
She absentmindedly twists the cap back onto the tube. "Is it supposed to hurt this much?"
Amity watches her for a moment, and there's a flash in her golden eyes when she comes up with something a little genius. "At first. But once you get used to it, ...it's not so bad."
Luz looks away, and she feels rather than sees the little victory, that Amity's winning.
