Day Six: Broken Tears

For Sineater who requested from Alan to Scott.

Trope: A character may not be himself and has a breakdown (mental/nervous/emotional) to show this.

Characters: Scott, Alan, Jeff

Warnings: Emotional Whump, Memories of torture


Alan had been at school the day the letter came telling his father that Scott was MIA. He was pulled from the middle of Science with no reason given, but John was waiting in the Principal's office for him. His brother said nothing as they climbed into his car and drove away.

John, who should have been seven states away.

John, whose eyes were red rimmed and knuckles were white on the steering wheel.

When he got home Virgil was also home.

And his Dad was nowhere to be seen. Couldn't be seen, but could be heard. Shouting.

The atmosphere was oppressive, and the first thing he did was to run out to the pool where he was sure that his immediate brother would be. And he was right.

But his fifteen-year-old brother was not in the pool as expected. Gordon was sitting on the edge of the pool, feet in the water. He looked like…like he had when their Mom had died.

The only two people missing from this picture was his Grandma and Scott, who was flying escort for aid planes over Bereznik.

One look at Gordon's face and he knew.

Scott.

A week later and there had been no news. He hadn't been back to school since. Hadn't seen the letter. Hadn't asked the questions. Dad had sat him down that first night and explained that Scott was missing. He had cried a lot. Scott had explained that the job he was doing was dangerous but important, and Alan had been so proud of him. So proud

Now he was so lost. They all were.

Two weeks later the USAF declared Scott KIA.

They were lost for six months. Six months. Hoping that Scott was still alive while everyone else said he was dead.

And then he wasn't.

The day that they found out he was still alive, had just been rescued from a POW, Alan was once again in Science class and once again was pulled out to the Principal's office. This time it was Virgil who collected him.

And Virgil was smiling.

The news was what they had all hoped and for a little while it didn't feel real. But then time passed and there was no more news.

One day.

Two.

Five.

His dad went spare again, disappearing and shouting at whoever was on the line.

Day seven and they had a visitor. Alan had seen both his Dad and Scott in their uniforms, but he'd never seen a uniform like this. The man, his Dad, John and Virgil were in Dad's office for over an hour, and when they came out the man shook everyone's hand, even his, and left.

'Boys, family meeting.'

Dad explained that Scott was very ill and in hospital and he would be there for a little while, but then he would be coming home for a while.

'Can we visit him?' His dad pulled Alan onto his lap.

'No, son. He's in a military hospital in Germany. They'll let us know when Scott will be well enough to travel.'

That time seemed to take forever, but then one day, almost two months after he had been found, Scott came home.

Scott came home, but he also didn't.

The thin man with the soulless blue eyes was not his brother. This man didn't smile. Didn't hug – flinched away from contact as if it was painful. Slept in, got up really late and napped through the day and went to bed early.

Barely spoke to any of them.

Dad had taken Alan to one side the third day Scott had been home when he'd found Alan crying in his room.

'You just need to be patient, Allie. Scott's been through a lot.'

'Sometimes it feels that he didn't come back at all.'

'Your brother is in there still, he just needs time to find him.'

Neither of them noticed Scott quietly walk away. But from that day on he tried harder to be more like his old self.

It wasn't easy. Scott felt like he was wearing a mask all the time. But the effect on the rest of his family was dramatic. The air became lighter.

Days turned into weeks.

John and Virgil returned to their respective universities. Gordon returned to his boarding school. Alan stayed at home but returned to school. Jeff returned to work almost full time. Grandma stayed home and fretted.

Scott drifted through the days in a kind of limbo. The mask he'd put on stayed on almost constantly, and his family were none the wiser.

At least, he thought they were. He wasn't aware of the nightmares. Nights where that his Dad held vigil over him until the nightmare broke or his son woke up, confusion always clear on his face. But they only happened in the dead of the night, when Alan was still asleep.

Until today.

Grandma had gone to the store. She always returned after picking Alan up on the way, but school was let out very early after a fire in the library.

Alan came in the door, whistling a jaunty tune that Gordon had taught him. He threw his bag in the corner and poked his head around every door looking for Scott. Nothing. Alan took the stairs, jumping up them one step at a time.

In his bedroom all Scott heard was heavy footfall.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

He scooted back into a corner, memories overlapping with reality, arms over his head trying to make himself small so that they didn't see him. There was a small pause as they made it over the mini landing between the stairs, and Scott decided. They weren't going to take him again, and he moved, taking up position behind the door.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

He opened the door and bounded into the room but before he could take a breath Alan found himself on his back, his brother's hands around his throat. Scott's eyes were wide and Alan struggled to wiggle his fingers between his neck and his brother's hands to give him room to breathe.

'S-S-Scott! Scott! Scotty, it's me! Alan! Your brother! You're home, Scott. Home!'

Alan saw the moment comprehension returned. With a strangled sound and a horrified expression Scott threw himself back, into the corner he'd originally taken refuge in, and once more he was cowering, hiding under his arms. Alan struggled to his knees, rubbing his throat. It had been mere seconds in reality, but he could still feel the pressure.

Then he saw Scott and he knew he needed to make it better.

'Scott?'

His brother whimpered and if anything curled up tighter. Alan crawled closer.

'Scott? Are you alright?'

And Scott began to rock slightly on the spot. Alan was at a loss. How should he act?

'It's ok, Scotty.'

The whimper sounded more like a sob.

He tentatively placed his hand on Scott's knee and he was relieved beyond measure when his brother didn't bat him away.

Alan crawled closer and sat beside his eldest brother, just leaving his hand on his knee and their shoulders touching every now and then as Scott continued to rock back and forth and occasionally sob.

Eventually Scott stilled and began to lean on him, getting heavier and heavier, until Alan pulled him close. A little longer and Scott was asleep, his head on Alan's chest and completely limp against him.

Alan looked up into his father's eyes. He had no idea how long his Dad had been standing there watching them, but he offered a small smile and his dad reciprocated. They waited a short while to make sure Scott was truly asleep before his dad tiptoed into the room and gently lifted Scott off him. Alan pulled back the covers and they put him to bed.

His Dad pulled him close in a one-armed hug as they watched Scott sleep. Eventually his dad steered them away.

'What happened, Dad?'

'I'm not entirely sure, Al, but it looks like Scott's had the breakdown he needed.'

'Scott needed to have a breakdown?'

'Yes, son. When someone has been through a trauma the body often locks up the emotions so a person can cope. Once that trauma is over sometimes the body doesn't accept that everything is alright and it can relax.'

'So Scott wasn't relaxed even though he was home?'

'I don't think so.'

'Will crying help?'

'I hope so. It's a release of those emotions your brother has kept bottled up. Do you want to tell me what happened?'

Alan explained and his dad sighed a lot.

'Ok. You know your brother didn't mean to hurt you?'

'Of course! He didn't hurt me, not really. I just panicked at first.'

'Well, he's going to be very upset that he even tried to, so we're going to have to be very careful with him.'

'Don't worry, Dad, I'll help him.'

'I know you will, Sprout.'

His Dad kissed the top of his head and went off to make them drinks.

Scott slept through the rest of the day and the whole night without a single nightmare. It probably helped that Alan crept into his bed and slept the night cocooned in his eldest brother's arms.

The man that woke up the next morning, full of apologies and recriminations, was more like his Scotty than he'd been at any point since coming home.

Home.

Scott was finally home.