PRESENT TIME

A woman sat on a high booth, tapping her fingers (invisible beneath her long sleeves) over the chipped wooden counter, eyes hardly fixed over it. The bar man couldn't keep himself from eyeing the strange woman from time to time, she had only come everyday for the past week and order nothing but water. He supposed he could have told her to get lost after the first night, but her presence seemed to be attracting a new sort of clientele that had previously bypassed the business door without a second look.

She wore a red and black kimono that covered her slender body. Her skin seemed to be fair and looked even more pale painted white on the face with bright, bloody red tint on her eyes and lips, her eyes were elegantly sharp, high cheekbones, long raven hair put up on a traditional fashion and a hybrid youthful/mature face. The whole package, basically. Probably an upper crust from some foreign court.

The bar man, a man in his late 70s, mostly kept from speaking to the beautiful woman other than to offer her the usual. They had yet to establish a proper conversation, but the eager and hypnotic intensity in the woman's gaze, that seemed to be following the back of his head when he supposed he would be expecting it the less, was too much and made him want to refrain from opening an opportunity to talk.

Age had taught him to recognize trouble when he saw it and there was something about the woman that spoke volumes of it.

It was amusing, nevertheless, to see the men taking turns to make fools of themselves and coming to sit on the boot next to the woman, trying to catch her attention. Some of them were shy, some others almost rude after her dismissal. She was quick at it, gentle and almost childishly sweet, but once their backs turned that same intensity returned to her face, letting him know she was smarter than she looked, her eyes would travel his way and he would snap around and continue doing whatever it was he had previously doing.

Today, something changed and it had everything to do with the non-regular, stranger man that walked into the bar with a traveling bag over his shoulder. He looked tired but satisfied like only someone who lived to travel while doing what he loved the most, could look. The bar man supposed he kept himself entertained during the long hours of night work analyzing the walk-ins in the same way he was currently doing the newcomer. He could leave the cleaning to his young assistant.

Ha!

He observed the woman's perk up when the new arrival came into the establishment, even though she didn't turn around to see him. The bar man scoffed himself to the side and chuckled, shaking his head trying to make himself look busy as he rubbed dry the wet glasses. He perked his ear though, when the young man walked directly towards the bar, specifically on the booth next to her and called him out to ask for a drink. The woman kept her gaze over the counter but her nails no longer tapping.

"I reckon you're not from around here. Can't remember having ever seen that face before." The bar man told the young man repairing on the purple stripes drawn on his skin across his grey eyes.

"You are right." The young man responded amicably, completely ignoring the woman next to him. That was a first. "I'm just on my way. I've been traveling a lot lately, out of business. "

"And what kind of business is that, young one?"

"I'm a journalist, I'm working on this article about certain events stemming from the Second Ninja War-"

"Mmm..." The bar man hummed beginning to disconnect from the conversation. He wasn't the first, nor would he be the last journalist wandering around these lands.

"I'm sure you have heard about it-"

"Mm-hm?"

"The Fall of Clan Yubokumin."

"Yeh."

"There is some information perhaps... you might be able to help me with." The young man continued taking a small notepad and a pen out of his traveling cloak pocket.

"And that'd be?" Was the glass he kept on rubbing cracked or was it stained?

"Apparently there was one living survivor."

"That's old news, kid, everyone knows Konoha's got that child. It's one of them now." The bar man huffed, his eyes still on his own work.

"I meant another living survivor." The bar man stopped scrubbing and raised his gaze up to the man. The woman continued to sit silently, staring at the counter.

"What's your name?" He spat as he would scold a child.

"Sukea."

"Sukea." The bar man scoffed up to the ceiling and raised a finger. "I hope you're not one of those conniving rats that have came around this town terrorizing our people into confession. Yes, that kid you talk about was last seen in our humble village 30 years ago, but just like we told the nomads searching for the deserter back then: No one's seen him since."

"I see..." The young man sighed heavily. "I thought I was finally up to a good story-"

"Yeah, well, keep looking for one."

The young man deflated, before the decisivess returned to his stance:

"I'm afraid I cannot give up that easily. I've come upon some valuable information around the topic."

The bar man grunted:

"Good luck with that." Before turning around and busying himself going to serve people a new round of drinks. Nevertheless, his hearing remained with the young woman and man.

"Sukea." The woman reached for her glass of water and raised it to her lips, leaving a red stain the color of blood on the edge. The thick accent on her voice was almost as magnetic as her presence. "I feel as if I have heard that name somewhere before."

"I am sure I wouldn't forget if we've met." He could hear the smile in his voice. "Miss..."

"Kiko." So that was the name of that woman, the bar man thought. "Kiko Mitsuha... What have you heard about the deserter?" She asked suddenly.

"Are you interested on it as well? When I first saw you, I didn't take you as a history fan."

"So, you did see me."

"It is hard not to."

"Mmm..." The bar man could hear the amusement in the woman.

"Your beauty is outstanding, just like the rumors say."

"... and you have also heard about me."

"About one Kiko Mitsuha The One Who Has Lived a Thousand Lives and Broken a Thousand Hearts? Any man hoping to keep its sanity down the road has been warned about your charm, m'am."

"Interesting." A silence followed, in which a couple guests got into a verbal fight, quickly eased by his assistant, and through the clanking of glasses and boisterous laugher, the bar man heard:

"Now why are you interested about the last Yubokumin to desert before the Fall, Mitsuha-san? Considering this myth of a person must be in his 40s today I highly doubt you might have known him in the past."

"Because I am looking for him." She said openly.

"Why?"

"He might just be able to help me with something-"

"Nonsense!" The bar man snapped barging into the conversation. "If you two are smarter than you seem, you will let go of that delirious dream of finding the nomad that has only brought trouble to our town trouble in the past 3 decades!" The old man fumbled, his thick mustache trembling with annoyance.

"Ojii-sama." The woman smiled sweetly at him, squeezing her eyes shut and shrugged her shoulders. "Be careful, someone of your age should not get too angry. Besides, it is not nonsense." She opened her hazel eyes nailing him under them. "I promise I shall find the nomad..."


She was 9 years old and walking down the park sidewalk, face stuck inside a book, while her adoptive sister went to buy scones of ice cream for them, when she heard it:

"Hey, parasite!"

Gillie looked up and over her shoulder to see the two girls sitting behind her on a park bench. She looked around herself, searching for the poor sod being called names and curious on whether they deserved to. Some people were incorrigibly ugly that she supposed it was okay, from time to time, to let them know how they looked, if only to give them a reality-check. Fortunately for her, Mama had been too beautiful and, she supposed, the male counterpart that had engendered her had also been. She would never have to worry about issues like being called things.

Or, so she had thought. Looking around, she realized there was no one else around but her, and understanding it was her those two were bullying, her eyes narrowed and she snapped her book shut, but other than that she kept as much of a stoic face as she could muster. She marched with slightly stomping feet, while the two girls stood up and chuckled. Once she was in front of them, Gillie raised her chin and crossed her arms.

"What did you call me," She thought smart to add: "ill-favored?"

"I called you parasite." The black haired girl gritted her buck teeth. Gillie recognized her as one of the kids that had been Rin's classmates back at the Academy, one of her best friends. What was her name again? She waited for the girl to explain herself. "That's what you are. A parasite. A burden. You take advantage of good people. Like Rin and her parents."

Gillie's arms wavered falling to her sides and a pit seemed to grow on her stomach. She had listened to Rin, tried to keep her happy and tried to be nice with her friends, she had really tried, so why were they coming up against her with this? Why were they coming up at her so abruptly and suddenly? Gillie took a deep breath to avoid running away as she currently wanted to do.

"They probably never wanted to adopt you, you must have forced them into it." The rude kid continued.

"Song-" The second girl tried to pull her by the arm, her eyes growing troubled watching the blank staring Gillie. Her hazel eyes caught sight of Kailin, who winced and looked back to her friend. "Song-"

"Who would ever want to adopt you? I've seen you. You are a useless, boring orphan. Moody, with nothing to offer. I heard Mama said you might be a bastard. Your mother must have been so embarrassed to have you that the best solution she could think of doing was die!"

"Song, that is- You're going a bit too-"

"You monopolize Rin as if she's yours and I cannot understand why she would like to spend time with someone like you!" The kid yelled with raised tightened fists. "You are not even that pretty-!"

That did it. In the blink of an eye, Gillie threw a punch and jumped on top of Song, Kailin screamed and yelled for help at the top of her lungs while Gillie reached for Song's hair. The underdog genin had no chance to fight back as the long strands of hair of Gillie kept her hostage and Gillie kept on shaking the girl's head by pulling hers, as if she wanted to rip it out. Song was crying out loud but Gillie did not stop, until she was forced to. She got pulled away and noticing it was Rin she deactivated her ability not to hurt her, while Song crawled away before running followed by Kailin.

"I will tell on you! I will tell my Mom!" Song cried over her shoulder. "You monster!"

"Go ahead and I'll come after you and make you bald, bucky!"

"Gillie-chan!" Rin kept on pulling her back.

"If you tell your mother I will hide beneath your bed and pull your feet at night!" Gillie kept on yelling.

"Gillie-chan!"

"I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S GRAVE!"

"GILLIE NOHARA!" Gillie snapped out of her trance of rage and turned to Rin, scared with the tone her sister used on her and suddenly growing embarrassed. "What happened? Why would you do that?!" Gillie looked down at her feet and bit her lips.

"She called me ugly."

"Eh?" Rin asked surprised and unconvinced she had gone to such extents for something so petty. Even it Gillie could be quite petty at times. "I... don't believe that... What really happened?" Rin held her by the arms and searched for her eyes, while Gillie balanced from side to died, looking away, cheeks burning redder beneath her stripe marks.

"She also- She also said- She said- She... called me parasite" She responded in defeat under the intense gaze of her adoptive sister, now morphing into dumbstruck, "and that I was taking advantage of you Noharas... She called me bastard and that Mama died of embarrassment for it." Rin's face now burned bright red as well and looked away. Gillie irked a brow, tilting her head, noticing her roles had changed. "Rin?" Her sister began to hyperventilate. "Rin?" Her friend covered her face.

"It is my fault!" Rin fell down on her knees in a bow. "I'm sorry, Gillie-chan! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Was she... crying?

"What-"

"Song and Kaitlin are my best friends-were my best friends." She corrected. "I-I-I told them once about your Mother. I swear I just told them she'd passed away... I-I-I didn't know they... We fought before- I-I didn't think they would come to you with it, I-"

Gillie pursed her lips and crossed her arms redirecting her anger towards her now. There was Rin again going around telling people on her business, like how she would literally tell each Obaasan working on restaurants that they were now adoptive sisters. What did the Obaasans care?! She was too open and trustful, almost to a fault, but Gillie was not and she was tired of her privacy being let out in the open... but Rin kept on crying. Her heart broke a little watching her and sighed reluctantly, before finally helping her up.

"Forget about it, Rin. I don't mind you telling them as much as she calling me ugly." That beaver face, huh! Even the purcopine-shaped purse Papa had bought for her had a prettier face.

"You're not ugly, Gillie-chan." Rin sobbed keeping on rubbing off the tears until her face was red.

"I know." Gillie stated simply. "And she is, so either way, I win. Now... stop crying, Rin. Please." She squirmed uncomfortable and her sister tried to contain her breath and face. They stared at one another for a moment before Rin started to cry again. "Now what?"

"I-I-I don't like seeing you like that, Gillie-chan."

In automatic, Gillie took a step back.

"Like that, you-you mean...W-W-Why? Are you... are you... afraid... of me?" Gillie asked slowly and Rin immediately shook her head.

"Not afraid, no!" Rin kept on rubbing her face, Gillie's shoulders relaxed. The least thing she wanted was for her best friend to think of her as a monster too."But it hurts to see you lashing like that."

Gillie raised her chin.

"Well, some people have it coming, Rin. If it comes down to it I'll be strong and mean and crush them under my boot." She stomped to make a point. "It's lots of fun, really, you don't need to freak out."

"It's no fun if you're hurting. I can tell you're hurting very much."

To this point, Gillie had already come to the realization that she couldn't make friends like Rin who everyone liked, but that was okay, because she didn't like people very much either. For the rest of this life, she would just like her adoptive parents and Rin, maybe some day, Might Guy. Oh, and Minato Namikaze, once she married him. She supposed one had to like their own husband. Reluctantly, she would have to... Oh, well, since it was so necessary...

And that was it. She didn't want the rest, she didn't need them. They all ended up leaving anyway and not even her beauty or lack thereof would keep people close to her. Beauty wouldn't get her to be loved, otherwise "Papa" would have never left Mama and her... Sometimes, she wished Mama and that man would've inherited something more valuable than looks, or freakish abilities...

Money would have been nice. Then she'd be able to buy all the candy she wanted without Nohara-san- that is, Mama, being on her tail.

"It's just who I am, Rin. Deal with it." She shrugged dismissively, before turning towards where the two girls had left towards, worrying concerned those two would rat her out with Mama. They were so dead if they did so.

"It may be part of who you are, Gillie-chan, but not all of who you are." She threw her arms around her, robbing her attention again. "My Gillie-chan can also be soft and sweet and forgiving."

Soft, sweet, forgiving... Gillie scoffed. Hadn't they known each other for 3 years now? How could Rin describe her with characteristics that were nothing like her. She was none of those things. She was just describing herself to make her feel better.

"Please... don't ever get into a fight like that on your own." She heard Rin sniffing and saw her step away. " Hn? Next time, I'll second you. Hn?" Rin asked her raising a fist in between them.

"You'll help me beat my enemies' butts?" She irked an amazed brow at how cool her best friend was. Rin nodded eagerly, her face still red and tear stained.

"That's what sisters are for."

She jolted awake, out of her dream, and gasped for air as she sat up looking around. Her heartbeat was thundering inside her chest as if she had just awakened from a nightmare. But it hadn't been that, it had been something nice, something very personal she thought she'd forgotten. Gillie leaned her face on her hands, gasping for air in the middle of a panic attack. Why was she so disturbed after a beautiful dream?

A patch of moonlight came into her tent and she extended her trembling hands under it to see the metamorphosis coming to reach her. The sands of time were ticking after her as they did after her mother, soon there would be nothing left of her. She would just be the thing she had been bred to be. The same thing that kid from her memory called her.

A weapon.

A monster.


"Mm?" Naruto Uzumaki showed his head out of his tent and finding the female silhouette of Gillie Nohara sitting next to the ashes of what had been their bonfire the previous night, his face grew with joy at the sight of her. Wiggling his fingers malevolently, he tiptoed all the way behind her and took a deep breath. He was so going to send her screaming!

"Do it at your own risk." She said before he could carry out his plan.

"Aww, you're no fun!"

"Fun?" She blinked once, looking up from her work and turned his way. "Who said my purpose in life was to be fun? I'm just on this Earth to edit trashy novels."

Naruto slumped next to her and leaned sideways.

"Where has Nee-Chan been all this time?" His eyes traveled to the embroidery she was working on. He irked a brow as her face formed a tight, sweet smile. He had learned she did that when she was faking it. Like when she acted nice towards the Pervy Sage before asking for money. If anyone was a worse economist than the old man it was Gillie Nee-chan and whoever knew whatever she did with all that money!

"Ouh!" She bonked him on the head. "Onee-sama!"

"Ayayay!" He winced, rubbing the sore spot on his head. "Where has Nee-sama been all this time?!" He exclaimed in one breath.

"An embroidery workshop!" She chirped with phony goodheartedness.

"Liar." He spat still grimacing for her physical reprimand. He stopped rubbing and got in fours. "Now, really... You disappeared the entire week." Naruto leaned closer and closer. "Say, say, did you find something interesting? Did you find something about Sasuke?"

She had promised she would help him bring him back, both because she felt responsible on the Uchiha and because she wanted to give Sasuke a good old spanking for what he did to him before leaving. Naruto would be counting the days until he saw her spanking Sasuke because they would certainly bring him back and he'd receive the end of her wrath. It would be so embarrassing for Sasuke! Mua ha ha!

She sighed, stopping with her work and looking at him.

"No, I wasn't looking for Sasuke. I was looking for any damn think that can put a stop to Orochimaru's ban on me. Happy?"

"Say, say... what was the ban again?"

A vein popped on her forehead, after having explained the kid many times in the past about it. She placed her work down and reached towards the ashes, beginning to draw with her finger and the soot. It would have to be in the most patronizing way...

"This is Onee-sama, hn?"

"Mmm..." He tilted his head from side to side with a scowl and reached for the drawing to add his input in the model, he drew crazy hairs around her head. "Oh, it now looks like a monster! Ha ha ha!" But there was no way Nee-chan could ever be conceived as a monster. If he had a demon inside him, she would have to have the opposite of a demon inside of her (even if sometimes she was as mean as one).

She ignored him and continued to draw dots on the silhouette's body.

"These are my cells."

"You are made out of cells?!" He exclaimed with disgust.

"We are all made out of cells!" She exclaimed with exasperation. "How did you graduate from the Academy?!" He rubbed the back of his head and chuckled sheepishly, cheeks burning. She rolled her eyes and continued to draw smaller dots with her pinky. "These... these are, to put it simply, mutant cells."

"Huh?"

She raised a long nail.

"They were somewhat dormant for a long time." She proceeded to scratch each mutant cell, making them look like a shuriken. "Somewhat, because they were breathing enough for my ability to exist... A few years ago (you must have been a toddler), I faced the snake- that is, Orochimaru. He used a key on me."

"A key?"

"Um... think of it as the opposite of a seal." She literally drew a key on the silhouette's stomach. "It awakened the mutant cells. Since then, they've been reproducing, but... in the process they are banning my own cells from breathing."

"But you're not dying!"

"Hn." She nodded. "I'm not, I suppose, because they're not being killed, they are just being banned as they were banning the mutant ones before. I thought I had slowed the metamorphosis... but the poison I received the day of your chunin exams weakened me. Now, it's happening faster. You can already see it." She grabbed the side of her face, now looking a sickly pale, where before vibrant brown skin had been.

Naruto frowned at the drawing and then up at her.

"But what does that mean? What will happen to you?" He felt a dread blooming in the pit of his stomach. She sighed, hugging her knees and continuing watching the drawing for a while. Then, she looked up at him. She poked him on the nose, staining him with soot.

"I will be able to contain you." His face looked confused, and she continued: "The Kyuubi inside of you, I will be-"

"That is enough." The Pervy Sage came out of his tent, groaning and stretching up to the sky. "I think that is more than enough." Gillie stood up, joining her hands together and bowed.

"Sorry, Master."

"I see you're back."

"Yes."

"Anything to say on your behalf?"

Gillie stood in silence.

"Nope." She finished.

"Mmm." Jiraiya groaned rubbing his face. "Can we expect your absence in the near future again?"

"Next weekend, probably."

"Wait... WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! You are leaving again?! And what's that you were saying before?! What were you telling me before?! Nee-chan?! Oh, please, please, Nee-chan! " He pulled roughly on her arm back and forth and marching on his place, throwing a fit.

"Stop that, Naruto, and get ready to begin your training." Jiraiya told him sternly, while the woman sat back down and went back to work on the embroidery (was that a ball?) project, before he turned away and walked again.

"Say, say..." Naruto whispered eagerly, now that the Pervy Sage had left. "You were talking about Kyuubi." He cupped the side of his mouth. The fake amicable smile was back on her face.

"You want to hear a funny story instead?"

"No! I want to hear about the-"

"Did I ever told you about my first love?"

"EH?!"

"You'll never imagine who it was..."


The wind howled around the woman as she made her way up the cliff, blowing the raven hair in a tight updo and making the ends of her long kimono skirts dance. This time, she was employing a complete ninjutsu, to avoid any contingencies with the weather, although she preferred the theatrics of manually disguising herself. Ninjutsu drained her the most for keeping the transformation a long time and Genjutsu was boring and for some reason she had always related it to cowardice (not that she'd ever tell those fond of that fighting method). At least, she had many options to play her favorite game, which sent her back to her childhood games, where along with her sister she would play dress-up, with masks and makeup, and act as if they were other people: priestesses, princesses, phoenix-riders, spirits, pirates...

A man was waiting for her on top of that place as the invitation had established. She avoided faltering at the familiarity of the chakra she felt, she refrained from gaping and kept to her part of the "mysterious and entrancing" Kiko Mitsuha, even if she was simply entertaining the man with clear secrets of his own, standing across from her. It seemed like she wasn't the only one wearing a disguise.

"You're here." He turned around, also sensing her presence and bowed. She nodded in acknowledgment. "This is it." He raised an arm and she bit her lips. Now that she had a clearer idea on why this person had contacted her and offered help she wished she could sincerely thank him for coming with the information when she had reached a dead-end. "This is where he was cornered by those sent after him." She walked towards the edge and looked down. "It's a long way down." She saw the violent waves crashing against the rifts. "I'd be surprised if any person survived."

"You forget he wasn't just any person." She spoke on Kiko's thick accent, currently more preoccupied with the missing piece in front of her. "He was Yubo-nin, a warrior of legend."

Her eyes slowly raised even if her spirits did not necessarily. She stared at the horizon and raised a perfectly manicured finger, barely showing beneath her long sleeves.

"What is that?" She asked. "An island?"

"Hn. Hinansho Island." He came to stand next to her and looked at her face. "What are you thinking?"

She took her moment to answer, staring at the dot in the distance, too far away for even the best of swimmers to get to. Slowly, she lowered her extended arm and raised her sharp jaw.

"I think... I might be able to find something about the nomad on that place." There was another pause.

"Would you allow me to come with you?" He asked and she looked at him by the corner of her eye. "For mere journalistic purposes, of course." He added quickly, on that voice so different and so familiar at the same time. She looked away in serious thought and then back at the island. If it came down to it, Kiko would always prefer not to fight, she was a fine lady like that and although she inferred her companion would act as nothing more than a journalist, he would also act as the man he was. She supposed, if he had kept this going on up until now, maybe she should continue doing so too. Mentioning the fact would bring credibility to her character, it had nothing to do with the thousand questions flooding her mind regarding his presence today. Of course not.

"A lady always need a man to protect her." She almost scoffed. "You might come along if that is your wish."

"It is." He said sincerely.

The two of them wore other faces, but she could still sense him beneath the disguise, just as she knew he could sense her. Slowly, she looked at him through her lashes and wondered... Was that his real face? Her heart felt a tug, considering the possibility. But why was that the case?

It was probably because she hadn't expected to see him here. She had grown used to have him around and then she hadn't seen him in a year until now... That had to be it.

"We'll meet by the docks. Tomorrow. At dawn." She said, walking away without turning back, feeling her accelerated heartbeat in her throat.


"Come on, Gillie-chan, get up! You'll make Okaasan furious, Gillie-chan! Gillie-chan?" The urgent whispers of her sister came from the bedroom door and she squeezed further into a ball on top of her resting mat.

"I am sleepy! Let me sleep!" She groaned from beneath the mattress, hands holding tightly to it, like a protective shell.

"Gillie-chan, Okaasan can get really nasty when she gets mad, come on!" She felt her sister's hands trying to uncover her.

"Shut up, Rin!" She threw a kick her way.

"Gillie-chan, please, she- Oh, no! Here she comes!" Gillie squeezed her eyes listening the stomping feet of her adoptive mother.

"What is taking you so long? You two should be at the breakfast table by now-" There was a silence in which the girl could only listen her own heartbeat. "Gillie Nohara, get up." She didn't falter.

"Okaasan... I don't think Gillie-chan wants to come to the ceremony..."

"Nonsense. It's not a matter of whether she wants to, she must. As the anniversary, it is her duty to be present and show her respects." She felt the woman coming closer and gripped harder on her covering shield, waiting.

"I am not wrestling you out of it, Gillie Nohara-"

Gillie Nohara. She kept repeating that, yet she wanted to force her to go back to be Gillie Yubokumin walking into the cemetery.

"But, if you don't come out right now and get yourself ready, there won't be money for books anymore." She could always borrow them from the library... "No more money for dango" Gillie's 10 year old heart skipped a beat inside her chest. "No more ramen, all you'll get is white rice and vegetables." Okay, that was rude and unnecessary... "And no extra narutomaki" NOT THE NARUTOMAKI. "You'll still come with us, but I promise it won't be much of a wrestle. I will start counting now. 1..."

I don't want to go, I don't want to go.

"Okaasan." She heard Rin's apologetic voice, but it was the least thing she wanted to hear at the moment. Why did Rin always had to be the butt-saving hero? Couldn't she keep from meddling for once? She didn't need to be excused by her, she didn't need to be excused. Period. What she did or did not do was nobody's business. What happened to her was none of her business.

"2..."

Her heart raced again. She had never heard her adoptive mother so serious and concerns arose on whether she would hate her forevermore in the future if she didn't obey now. How patient could adoptive mothers be before they regretted having adopted a kid that's not their own? How much could she strain her before she snapped?

"And 3-"

Gillie moved the mattress to the side, looking every bit of an annoyed child, she looked towards the wall where her traditional robes awaited for her, the same design Rin was currently wearing and at least on it found comfort. She might be forced to go back to be Gillie Yubokumin, but those clothes were the proof that she was now Gillie Nohara. That she wasn't alone, that she was loved by breathing people.

"Good." Mama said before walking towards the door. "Come, Rin. I need you to help pack the food."

"Yes, Okaasan." Rin paused by the door once, looking back at her, Gillie ignored her and then she was gone after Mama.

Gillie cleaned and changed herself quickly to not make Mama wait for longer. She made sure to stomp her feet into the kitchen though. They were already waiting for her, handsomely dressed up and ready to leave. Mama didn't look too happy and because of this Rin was fidgety until she relaxed watching her arrive. Papa, on the other hand, was smiling as soon as he saw her. He carried a bouquet of flowers and offered it to her.

"I brought this for you. Thought you might want to bring them to your mother."

Gillie remained quiet until Mama cleaned her throat softly.

"Thank you." Gillie added quickly and feeling every bit of uncomfortable with the situation as Mama looked. After that everyone was silent, they walked out of the house and towards the cemetery in the same manner and there wasn't a change to their dynamic, that is until they neared the entrance.

"Oh! Is that-?" Rin broke their family formation and jogged a few meters upfront. "That's Kakashi!"

"Mmm, poor dear, he must have came to visit his Father's grave."

"It has been a while since his passing, hasn't it?" Papa asked Mama.

"Hn."

"A great man... A man we all failed." Mama didn't respond to him this time. Rin's eyes moved from Kakashi and she walked back to Gillie, remembering she must not have known.

"Kakashi's father was the White Fang of Konoha." She whispered eagerly, wanting Gillie to be in the same page as them.

A part of Gillie felt annoyed with Rin for telling on this when she hadn't even asked, for this must have been how she told those friends of hers about her Mother's passing once. She hadn't felt nice when she knew about it and although Kakashi was perhaps her least favorite memeber of Rin's team, she couldn't help but sympathize with him on this topic.

The White Fang, she had heard once, a very long time ago, when she was still Gillie Yubokumin living in the forests of the Land of Fire, had committed suicide, and since she became Gillie Yubokumin from Konoha and then Gillie Nohara from Konoha, she had heard it a few times here and there in hushed whispers in the least expected of places. None of it though, not even the act itself was currently among Gillie's current concerns to debate on. Even hearing that arrogant Kakashi was a legend's son and that he just had to be in Rin's team while she had gotten a weirdo who couldn't do anything other than taijutsu, she couldn't permit herself to feel the envy.

She couldn't do this. Gillie dropped on her knees.

"Gillie-chan." Rin gasped.

"What-" Papa frowned.

"Get up right away, Gillie Nohara." Mama snapped quickly, but Gillie shook her head still staring at the ground right in front of her face.

"Please, don't make me go in there! Please, don't make me! I won't ask for ramen all the time and I won't ask for dumplings anymore! I won't throw a fit when I don't get my way! I won't toy with Rin's masks, I won't break them anymore! I will leave my shoes arranged and I promise I will not stay too long sleeping! I won't sleep so much anymore, Mama, really! I won't hide and toss the food, I won't keep you waiting when I bring Rin's and your bento to the hospital! I won't be so moody all the time, I won't complain when we all go picnic! I won't go too harsh on Might Guy during training, I promise I won't send him to the hospital again and make you lose face with Choza sensei! I will listen what you say the first time you say it and I won't hurt my nails anymore, I won't bite them, I swear! Mama-Please!" She wasn't crying, but her whole body was shivering as she gripped the grass and yelled to the ground. "Please, I don't want to go! I DON'T WANT TO GO!" She panted as if she had been escaping from the enemy on a mission.

"Get up, Gillie." Mama said softly once, but sternly. Gillie's heart fell to the bottom of her stomach as she looked up with surprise. None of the things she had just said had made her adoptive mother change her posture, even if her face looked sorry. She would have to go in there, she would-

"Gillie-Chan!" She heard Rin's voice as the world swirled around her and black spots filled her vision.

She saw black.

She opened her eyes to find a similar darkness surrounding her, her heart hammering inside her chest, but the moonlight coming into the window of the inn bedroom she was spending the night at, once again, gave her the indication she was out of her dreams.

What was this? She had never had a good memory. She could hardly remember what she'd had for breakfast the previous morning. She was quick to forget (not so much to forgive), so why were these deeply ingrained memories resurfacing as dreams? What were dreams, anyway, and what did it mean to dream one's previous memories?

As if a switched turned on the answer came to her.

"Dreaming old memories means change." She whispered to herself. She didn't know where this affirmation came from, but it felt as something she might have heard someone say once, but it wasn't like she surrounded herself with dream interpreters. In any case, change of what?

Her head ached and she tossed around on her back and covered her eyes with her arm.


The boat swiveled almost violently against the waves, but keeping a tight posture Kiko Mitsuha managed to remained poised, even as the winds messed her updo and the humidity began to splotch her white makeup. Her red lips were tight as she stared at their final destiny, then her eyes moved towards the old man maneuvering the small fishing boat and then towards the young man sitting on the wooden floor, toying with the strange device in his hands.

"That is one strange device if I have ever seen one." She tried not to seem interested. Kiko would never be interested on what other people possessed that she did not. No jealousy, no envy, because she had everything, so unlike herself.

"It records moving images." The man said looking up at her with an eye vanishing smile. After that, a silence reigned in the boat.

"How did you come upon my contact's information?" She asked stoically, although internally dying to know.

"Mm?" He looked up again. "Why? Is it hard?" She narrowed her sharp eyes.

"For a journalist," She said sarcastically. "I would assume. I am no public entity, I keep my affairs private."

"You underestimate journalists, m'am."

"Huh." At this response, a twinkle glistened on the man's eye. She took a slow, steady breath. "How did you know about me?" The man took his time and pondered on in.

"I was on a research travel by the West of the Land of Fire, when I came upon the zone known by some as the Singed Spot. The lady of the inn I was staying at was going about speaking about her encounter with Konoha's resident Yubo-nin, that had recently maraud the area with a blonde child, asking for questions. I asked for the questions and the answers given then myself, she was only too glad to speak."

"I do not see how this has any relation to you contacting me."

"Well, I got curious on the topic myself" He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "and after receiving a holiday at my job-"

"I thought you were a freelancer."

"You misunderstood. I never said I was."

She sighed slowly, but wishing to do it exasperatedly. If he was planning to make her drop her act, he was succeeding.

"As I was saying, I thought I might as well do a side investigation on my spare time, but every time I came upon something, Mitsuha-san," His eyes grew with amusement. "it was like I was a step behind you! I never was the only person who had recently going around making questions about the myth of the Yubo-nin deserter-"

"Huh."

"So, naturally, I grew curious on you as well. As a journalist, I have contacts of my own, so finding yours wasn't so difficult. I'm only glad I was able to make him talk about your whereabouts."

"You must be one well-connected, one-of-a-kind, persuasive journalist if you made Jigoku speak."

"Thank you! I'm also glad you agreed to see me."

"You could have summoned me at a better place for a first encounter though, that is the polite thing to do."

"We could always go to a bar after this, I'll take you to the best in town!"

"Not a bar. No."

"Mm?"

"I do not care whether it is the best. It's still a bar."

"Yes?" His voice came sounding teasingly.

"And I am a lady." She pursed her lips. "I do not drink."

"Of course you don't." He was amused and she fought the urge to punch him in that handsome face.

He was definitely using ninjutsu. Not genjutsu, because she would have already seen through it. Ninjutsu had to be, yes. In any case, she had to give him props for this self-made story he quickly came up with. She tried not to smile at how bizarre everything felt.

He bowed down.

"I apologize."

She looked away.

"Then, I supposed this collaboration shall benefit us both." She said nonchalantly. "You'll get your story, I'll get what I want."

"And what is what you want, Mitsuha-san? What is your deal with the nomad?"

She stared at him, her facade faltering for the first time. Perhaps, a real stranger, she wouldn't have told.

"He might be the last living relative of a friend and her last hope not to lose herself."

As a true journalist would have done, he didn't ask further questions on this friend of hers, interested on the mentioned relationship (after all the Yubo-nin were extinct), yet his reaction left her internally abashed. His eyes squeezed shut as he smiled.

"How interesting!"

She had to give it to him, he might have been a better actor than herself.


"Nee-chan! Nee-chan!"

Gillie winced in pain at the irksome voice hammering inside her skull and rubbed her face as she neared the camp they had settled a couple weeks ago with heavy feet.

"Look, Pervy Sage! Here comes Gillie-Nee-" He turned around to find himself receiving a bonk on his head. "SAMA! Ay ay ay!" He rubbed the crown of his head, while she turned towards the older man nonchalantly.

"Look what the wind brought! My my, I keep on wishing someday we'll finally be left on our own, yet you keep coming back!"

"Ha ha, very funny." She said, looking away heads down, Naruto leaned sideways with interest and catching sight of him, Gillie grabbed his cheeks and began to shake his head talking to him like a little child, pulling him from side to side, while the boy yelped for helped. Jiraiya crossed his arms and nodded his head, completely agreeing with the well deserved torture for the boy.

"Alright, that is enough." He said after a while, a time by which Gillie let go of the kids head. "Feeling better now?" Gillie sighed and nodded, while the man stood up with a groan. "Good, now come and tell me what you found."

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Why you never let me into this matters?!"

"Because they do not concern you, now I want to see you squatting until the sun goes down-"

"But-but-but you cannot expect me to do that while you go to talk about what Nee... sama did during the weekend!"

"Yes, we can, now do it!"

"Aw man..."

Gillie couldn't help the macabre chuckle that came from her chest watching the kid throw a fit kicking the air with ease, once he thought they weren't looking. It reminded her of someone.

"Turns out this person happened to have a friendly face." She turned to her Master.

"Mm?"

"He's using a disguise of his own," She briefly explained, "so I supposed I might keep the facade, but he heard what I've been up to and seems willing to help. He did have important information. We went to this island, scouted the zone all day only yesterday."

"And?"

Her sour mood turned even worse.

"Nothing."

Master Jiraiya studied her for a while.

"You do know that even if you were ever able to find that man, chances are he's got nothing to offer you?"

"What other choice do I have?" She tsked with exasperation. "If Tsunade couldn't help, there's little any other iryo-nin can do... You can thank your other partner for it-"

"Hey, hey, hey! You're making it sound like it's my fault!"

She scowled looking away, before snorting.

"You almost sounded like Naruto there."

"The kid's catchy." The man shrugged. "Believe it..." He proceeded to rub the side of his face. "Look, Gillie-"

"The Yubo-nin had ancient, secret knowledge on the healing arts... they might not have been able to help my Mother, but perhaps there's something to their arsenal that could help me." She raised her fists, watching his tired expression. "I don't care to find that damn nomad, I don't care that he's family, I swear I couldn't care less whether he knew or did not knew about me, or Mother, or that he never came to help us when we needed him," She grew frustrated because even she knew that she was showing off her true colors with those words. "I don't, I just... I want to...get rid of this!" She raised her opened palms where her skin had completely lost any coloration and began to turn into a sickly grey color.

"It would be understandable if you did it for those reasons, you know?" He stopped walking, but she kept going.

"In the past I haven't had pretty experiences on long lost family rencounters, only with the Noharas and they are not even blood." She said over her shoulder.

"Mm..."

"I am just trying to be realistic."

"Then I suppose you will be meeting your friend again."

"Next weekend." She raised her gaze remembering the plan she had accorded on.

"Uh-huh."

"We're going to the island again."

"I see."

"I will find that man and then everything will be alright."

"And what if not-"

"Why are you being so pessimistic?!" She snapped around to face him, still standing where she had left him "You always tell me not to be pessimistic! Why are you being?!"

He stared at her with a solemn expression.

"What if not?" He continued slowly, softly.

"I will not become a monster, Master," She said decidedly. "not more than I already am."


In another situation, she would have been (secretly) in the clouds as she traveled through the Land of Fire carried on the Flash of Konoha's back, but all she felt was a numbing drain that made gravity feel heavier. Most of her team had been left behind with the exception of Kakashi, keeping up with his sensei's pace as they were quickly taking her to Konoha's hospital after the failed mission. As Kakashi had pointed out, since the previous night, she kept on going in and out of consciousness, they'd had to quicken their departure for getting her to the medic.

As she laid her cheek on Minato Namikaze's shoulder, she could see the silver haired chunin jumping across tree branches following them, looking their way, before her eyes rolled back into her skull again. He probably despised her more now; he probably did so in the past, but now even more. Because beneath the self-critical speech he had made about each member of the team's negligence to their duties, he certainly blamed it on her. Of course he did. She would have done it if she were him. She was doing it even though this was her.

At least he wasn't being as much of a jerk as she would have expected him to be, even his faked concern was something to thank on her part and suddenly, all those times she looked at him with a chip on her shoulder made her feel embarrassed. That would have to stop now.

The last time she closed her eyes, she didn't reawakened until she was in a white hospital bed, with several iryo-nin surrounding her. Present was the Third Hokage and his council advisors. Just as it had happened in the past, she couldn't hear what was being said, only see it. One of the elders, a man with half of his face bandaged, walked closer to forcefully grab her hair, before tossing it with haste. Mama was present and watching this, stood in between the man and her. They argued and continued for a while until Mama was forcefully taken out of the room by some of his men and then the man walked closer to her, his wrinkled face scowled looking down at her and for a moment her barely conscious self thought he would spit on her, by his expression of loathing, but at the end he just left. The Third was the last one to stay watching down at her with a sadness that reflected her own.

She was gone again... and then she was back. She came in and out for many days screaming in the memory of pain and memories of the deceased. Her people as they kept burning beneath her closed eyelids. As reality sunk in what she had gone through as a child, the fear took root inside his dreams.

As it was doing now.

She screamed awake on her tent only to realize she had awakened others with her nightmares.

"Nee-sama?" Naruto's voice came from outside the tent. "Is everything okay in there? Can I- May I come in?"

She continued panting, and composing herself a little sat up. She combed her hair with her fingers, the black strands intertwined with the pale hands. She counted her breathing.

"No... No." She frowned to herself. "I'm coming out." She said and took her time on doing so, but she could tell the boy was still waiting for her right outside, so she tried not to make him wait for long. When she finally did, she realized Master Jiraiya was awake and sat in front of the fire, staring at the alive embers. She frowned looking up to the moon, it was the middle of the night.

"I... uh-" She began as kid and woman walked closer to him.

"You've been at it for almost 15 minutes." Her Master rubbed his eyes and then looked up at her over his shoulder. She looked towards Naruto who nodded eagerly at her, letting her know it was true. She grew self conscious for allowing this two see this weakness of her and with a tired groan walked to sit next to the man. Naruto sat down on the other side of her.

"Say..." Naruto spoke slowly and she couldn't make herself look him in the face. So many times she had been yelling at him to do his best, to motivate him to be strong, and he had just heard her... scared of her own dreams. She had always thought she was strong of mind, she had thought that was the reason why genjutsus rarely worked on her, that she had seen and accepted everything inside her head, yet... "Is this about the ban? Is Nee-sama hurting because of it?"

At least he made sure to use the honorific.

"Sort of." She confessed curtly.

How would he ever respect her again, look up to her again? How would he ever trust her to help him bring Sasuke back, when she got scared of her own nightly shadow?

"But you said Nee-sama isn't dying!" He whispered. "Can you promise me she is not dying?" He looked at Master Jiraiya across from her. "Is this what you two are hiding from me? That you are dying?!"

"I am not. Dying. Naruto." She squeezed her eyes shut, teeth gritted. "I just... don't want to be something I am not." She gulped. "I'm not a monster."

"You have never been" Jiraiya interrupted her sternly. "and you will never be one. Nothing and no one can change that. I'd be more concerned with any disruption to your self, than on any physical alteration. It is plan vanity what you-"

"You think this is all about my looks?! Can't you see I am also afraid of what this might do to me beyond that?! What if I wake up one day and start acting like this bloodthirsty creature yelling to release all the self-contained power I was always meant to use to steal the Kyuubi from Konoha?"

"What?" Naruto gasped.

"Did you say afraid?" Jiraiya smirked.

"Yes, I admitted it! I am afraid! I AM AFRAID, SO WHAT?!" A surge of power emanated from her entire body, her long hair spiked up to the sky where they remained dancing in waves towards the moonlight. Jiraiya hadn't seen her snap out like that, for a severe reason, since she was a teenager. She then snapped her head towards Naruto, Gillie's eyes gleaming a more phosphorescent yellow color in the darkness, different from her usually fond hazel eyes. "My father did this to me, Naruto-No, not to me-He did it on my mother! He made all sorts of twisted experiments with her when those two idiots were teenagers and then she had to go and get herself knocked up of the snake and although none of his experiments worked on her, they so conveniently had to do on me! Because that is just my freaking luck! That is just my life!" She lost herself in a fit of mad laughter, where she doubled in half. Watching her that way, Naruto's got goosebumps feeling familiarity. Acting like this he could see the resemblance between daughter and father.

She slumped on her knees and covered her face.

"But, also... It's not vanity, I..." She lowered her hands and stared at them, her voice coming out raggedly. "What would she say... if she saw me like that?"

"Uh? Who?" Naruto asked tilting his head, but she didn't respond.

"For a long time, I tried to change... become someone she would've been proud of.. To be the girl people liked as well, be soft and sweet and forgiving and all that crap, but also strong and smart, a winner. So-so that maybe... we would finally be on even ground!" She laughed humourlessly. "Maybe-maybe I'd win for once! Is it- is it so bad I just want to look like myself when I finally do?" Even she knew she was speaking nonsense.

"Your sister is dead, Gillie Nohara." Jiraiya said gravely staring into the fire.

"Sister? Nee-chan... had a sister?" For once, Gillie didn't correct him. She chuckled humorlessly again.

"Turns out, I never lost my nindo, Master Jiraiya. I realized it as soon as I re-found my path of life. My rival might be long gone... but she is still my rival. She'll forever be my motivation, my drive. She gave me a life when I thought I no longer had one... She was all the good things I never was." For a moment her eyes flickered towards Naruto and then her gaze lowered to her hands resting on her knees. "I wanted to change... but not so much." She groaned, eyes squeezed.

Naruto's mouth fell open watching the young woman's tears running down her cheeks like he hadn't seen before. Being like this, she looked younger than he knew she was, it was like watching a girl his age crying, like she'd seen Sakura crying when Sasuke left. He supposed he should be uncomfortable as the woman was clearly embarrassed for the demonstration of emotion, but although he couldn't exactly understand what plagued Nee-chan's heart, he had recently lost someone very close to him too. His rival.

Naruto looked up to their sensei, who looked at him and shook his head at him, as if telling him "do not just say anything to console her", but not speaking was something he couldn't bring himself not to do. He moved to sit next to her, and began to draw on the dirt. Under the fire and moonlight illumination it was harder to see than it was during the day, but he drew a similar copy of the model she had shown him about herself only about a week ago.

"Er... Gillie Nee-sama?" He didn't want to upset her anymore. The woman contained her sobs and looked at what he'd done. "I have no idea whether what's happening to you can be fixed or not, I know too little... but, if it's possible, just like you promised me to help find Sasuke, you bet I'll help you find a way too! And... if it's not..." He hesitated, he didn't want to believe that there wasn't a solution for something that made her so upset. There was always a way. "remember this?" He began to scratch the cell dots as she had done. "You called them mutant cells before, didn't you?" Wow, even he was surprised he managed to say that word correctly. Her face reflected his amazement. "You called them that, but all I could see back then were shurikens and stars!" He snapped his head her way. "Can't you see?! Nee-chan is made of stars! She is made of stars! And I think that is beautiful, believe it!"

She stared at the drawing for a moment and then looked back down to her knees. She bit her lips.

"Thank you..." She gripped her knees and sobbed with a smile, squeezing her eyes shut. "Naruto."


A/N: And we're back to our regularly scheduled programming... I appreciate your favorites, savings and reviews! Enjoy.

P.S. Am I the only one getting Zuko vibes from Gillie on this chapter? Lol