Chapter 3: Bond is Captured By Allies

After waking up, Madeleine Swann departed from Bond's warm embrace slowly.

"Was that the first time you made love underground?" asked Swann.

"Perfectly honest, there was that woman, Lacerta, who claimed she was a shapeshifter. No, what makes you think it was my first time?" replied Bond. "I've made love in space"

"Hmmmm, have you now? You have to be joking" replied Swann.

"No," replied Bond. "You think I can still tell good jokes when I'm in orbit around your galaxies?"

Later...

"Now just so you know I won't be giving you any cars this time 007, I mean Bond" said Q.

"Quite alright for now, considering the hell I get just for using them" replied Bond in a snarky tone.

"From now on you are Agent 55910 of Tiger Eye Seven. You officially report to me and my organization" said

Q, giving Bond a badge. Q pushed a button on a remote that activated yet another tube shuttle, and he and Swann got inside.

"Mathillde should stay behind," said Bond.

"I think it's only right she sees the world" replied Swann.

"She's only a baby and we're doing dangerous work. Q, look after Mathillde" ordered Bond, as the shuttle was slowly being activated.

"Um-right. Well, I'll try Mr. Bond" replied Q.

Bond and Swann blasted off into the tube shuttle, far down the interconnected subterranean tunnels and deep underground military bases of London.

Bond flipped on the radio. It was "Untouched" by the Veronica Sisters.

"Well, you know? This is going to have to do" said Bond, as he waved at a suspicious tube shuttle with a Pheonix wing logo following them.

They were attempting to gun down Bond and Swann with machine guns.

Bond activated a mini-missile launcher on the shuttle device and sent the henchmen packing, as Swann blew

a kiss to them goodbye, and Bond waved.

"Ciao, ding dongs" said Bond.

"Au revoir, les idiots!" said Swann.

The tube shuttle came to an abrupt halt.

"Ever feel like you're being watched?" asked Bond.

"Jamais l'impression d'être tiré? (Ever feel like you're being pulled?)" asked Swann.

"Oh bloody crumpets, what the hell is going on here?" shouted Bond. Bond and Swann felt like they hadn't been traveling very long,

yet they were lifted up into a fully furnished room with floral carpeting. Bond and Swann were not aware of this of course.

A light slowly came on and the soul of the area was transfixed on James Bond and Madeleine Swann.

A woman had a gun pointed directly at Bond. She then slowly lowered it and set it down.

"JAMES BOND?" shouted a familiar voice.

"Pam Bouvier! What a pleasant surprise, but what made you decide to get a rise out of me?" said Bond, as he shook the womans hand.

"I made a new friend today, she knew Lupe Lamora. I think Paloma is one of your friends from your very last mission. It's so good to know you're still with us" said Pam.

"Shh," said Bond, motioning a whisper with his finger. "That isn't officially cleared with the top brass officials yet" he added.

"Oh yeah-right. Well, Paloma you got anything to say?" asked Pam.

"Si, me and Pam met on a CIA mission. We were both fascinated by the stories of your many deaths" said Paloma.

"Many-deaths?" asked Bond.

"This is getting too personal," said Swann entering between Bond and the women.

"Relax, Swann. I'm trying to figure out what they're talking about" replied Bond.

"You have died in Japan, you have died on an island in disputed territory between Russia and Japan, and it also says in your dossier

that you were once thought dead after being shot while in a fist-fight on a train! You have died so many times, James, it's time

you settled down and just smoke a cigar or something. You know amigo that reminds me-I still have slightly less than half of

Felix's cigar left. Pam found it on a diving expedition by accident. I recognized it immediately. So sad for Felix, but you know

that is life. Obviously it's not smokeable now, but it makes a good memento for your troubles. You should join us!" said Paloma.

"So what are you really suggesting I do about this? I can't keep going on missions forever. I have to make

one death permanent. Not literally of course but figuratively speaking. I'm going to have to live as a ghost.

Do you two understand just how important this is to me? I'm trying to balance a family life with dirty spy work here" said Bond.

"It has been done before. But sure you want to maintain your death I learned a little bit about that on the side of my

three weeks training" said Paloma.

"What else did you learn?" asked Bond.

"Taekwondo, and-and-sensitivity" replied Paloma.

"Well now, take a load off, both of you. Madaleine Swann, I've heard a lot about you. Always wanted to book an

appointment after I dated Mad Max and nearly got engaged to DB Cooper" said Pam.

"Is that so? You've been in the galley for a long time then" said Swann.

"I'm exagerrating when it comes to DB Cooper. Ahh, shit. Still not over Mad Max, that sexy rascal" said Pam, taking a puff

from a cigarrette.

"We can work with the CIA to make you into the living dead if you agree to help me with-oh-a personal matter of sorts" suggested

Paloma.

"What might that be? And why did you kidnap us to begin with?" asked Bond.

"Yes, what might it be that it was so necessary to do battle with my bouffant?" asked Swann.

"We were monitering two Pheonix Wing agents who were using a tube shuttle near your location.

It's why I had a gun pointed at you. I didn't know who I was dealing with. But I'd never forget a handsome

face like you James" said Pam, batting her eyelashes and then laughing.

"Or mine," said Paloma, putting on a mustache.

Pam picked up the fake mustache and threw it across the room.

"That's not gonna be a very effective disguise for James Bond" said Pam.

"So what is this mission?" asked Bond.

"It involves my Area 51 pass. It has been stolen by Pheonix Wing. In addition they have killed all the

original personell. They literally took over Area 51 and the President can't even do anything about it while Pam and I are

partaking of foliage with no given orders to do anything about it either" said Paloma.

"Why is that? Then what good is a president?" asked Bond.

"It's because the real Area 51 is still not even acknowledged. The other one is simply a trap to divert attention.

I will take you in Pam Bouvier's plane. We are in Nevada it is not far away" said Paloma.

"Wait-we're in the United States of America? We're in Nevada already? My god, that felt like nothing" said Bond.

"Yes. That's what tube shuttles will do" replied Paloma. "They mess with your mind like a little boy strikes a pi·ña·ta"

"Swann, put on your best leather jacket and get your best guns. We're gonna go take back Area 51" said Bond.

"There's a crazy policeman on vacation. He comes from Louisiana and he's always rambling on about...nothing really.

Raising a fuss about everything. His name is JW Pepper watch out for him" warned Pam.

"Oh I've had my fair share of encounters with that bloke" replied Bond.

"Now let's get into our leather alien outfits and show them off for James and his wife" suggested Pam.

"Ah, yes" replied Paloma.

"These are left over from a discontinued CIA disinformation program I was part of. I'll admit-I almost quit

my job when they had me do this" said Pam, putting on a Star-Trek esque uniform with a strange iridescent glow.

"Mine will have antenna" said Paloma.

"No, no antennas" said Pam.

"Look at my starry eyes, I think my code name should be starry" said Paloma, with her beaming personality

echoing through her incredible eyes reminiscent of Ana De Armas.

"Your code name will be Starry, what will mine be, I'll let you pick okay?" said Pam.

"You will be-Cluster. Yes. We will be Starry and Cluster" said Paloma.

"Deja vu, Bambi and Thumper" Bond muttered under his breath.

To be continued...