Chapter 4: Area 51

"Jack Ryan, CIA!" said Bond, showing the Area 51 guards false identification. When this was scanned and didn't work Bond explained he was

MI6. This didn't work either so he equipped a silencer and shot the two fake traitorous guardsmen dead.

"Suppose they were expecting Indiana Jones, all they got was doom in their temples" muttered Bond.

Bond, Pam, Swann and Paloma then entered the safehouse in the dead of night after some camping and stargazing.

Pam and Paloma began stealthily and silently taking out opponents by using swift breakneck taekwondo moves,

among other things while Bond stood guard from atop a platform above a ladder, aiming and sniping

at baddies down below earning many confirmed kills for his records.

Swann very slowly snuck behind pillars and took out enemies by surprise with a sharp knife.

All the while this song by Britney Spears played on Pam Bouvier's smartphone (but in an advanced secret agent method so that only Pam could hear it so as not

to alert the enemy to their presence):

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again

I made you believe we're more than just friends (Pam and Swann blow kisses to Bond and toss him guns. Bond proceeds to mow down foes like Zorin on steroids)

Oh baby

It might seem like a crush

But it doesn't mean that I'm serious

'Cause to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Oh baby, baby

Oops, I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops, you think I'm in love (Paloma pretends to be flirting with a baddie before taking him down with a poison arrow supplied by Swann)

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent (Swann stabs a baddie)

You see my problem is this

I'm dreaming away

Wishing that heroes, they truly exist

I cry, watching the days

Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways

But to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Oh baby, oh

Oops, I did it again (Pam takes down a man in a camo suit and gas mask with a swift blow to the neck)

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops, you think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above (Paloma shoots what looks like a space alien or someone dressed as one)

I'm not that innocent (Pam crushes a man in-between her sexy thighs)

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

All aboard

Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have

Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this?

Yeah, yes it is

But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end

Well baby, I went down and got it for you

Aww, you shouldn't have

Oops, I did it again to your heart

Got lost in this game, oh baby

Oops, you think that I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent

Oops, I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops, you think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent

Oops, I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops, you think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent.

The second wave involved using toxic silent poison darts on those guarding the

Coldbreak-set to Toxic by Britney Spears of course. Can't have Bond without Britney.

Baby, can't you see I'm calling?
A guy like you should wear a warning
It's dangerous, I'm falling

There's no escape, I can't wait
I need a hit, baby, give me it
You're dangerous, I'm loving it

Too high, can't come down
Losing my head, spinnin' 'round and 'round
Do you feel me now?

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?

It's getting late to give you up
I took a sip from my devil's cup
Slowly, it's taking over me

Too high, can't come down
It's in the air and it's all around
Can you feel me now?

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?
Don't you know that you're toxic?

Taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under (toxic)
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?

Intoxicate me now, with your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now, I think I'm ready now
Intoxicate me now, with your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now

After escaping in a towed giant robust dump-truck like vehicle with the giant Coldbreak AI drone system in tow,

Area 51 spies pursued Bond. Bond lost them after outmaneuvering them by driving across a broken bridge.

All the enemy vehicles fell into what looked like the watery abyss of a lake (but was actually a fake hologram) whilst Bond activated a device that let his car

float through the air for a while before ultimately diving down for a landing. The other cars landed below a crevasse.

A BMW nearby took notice of Bond.

It was none other than JW Pepper whom was driving.

"AIN'T THAT BIG METAL THING FROM THE GOVERNMENT?" asked JW.

"Yes. It was" replied Bond.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I? This isn't even my car! I was just dropped here out of nowhere! I swear it was a flyin' submarine with little grey guys" said JW,

as he guzzled down the last remains of his straight undiluted Vodka bottle. Not a good idea folks.

"Zat is so funny" said Swann.

"Hey, it's the French lady from France! I take it you're not up for a Louisiana purchase!" said JW.

"Putain d'idiot" muttered Swann. This was French for "fucking idiot"

Bond then got a text allegedly from M.

"I HAVE FOUND OUT YOU ARE ALIVE! COME TO RUDLOW MANOR IMMEDIATELY AND DELIVER THE COLDBREAK BACK TO US" it read.

But it was unlike M to post a picture of himself drinking Merlot. Bond might get married a few times, Q may even have romantic evenings with his

boyfriends over Minestrone soup, but M just wouldn't drink Merlot. Period.

"A fake M this whole time. Is that why he didn't shut down Operation Heracles? No, he couldn't have been a clone for that long" thought Bond.

Who was this really? Was a fake M replacement trying to lure Bond into a trap? And then...

Another car drove by. It was Q. And Oscar? AND MATHILDE?

Meanwhile we join Anya Amasova and Solitaire as they continue to try to contact Bond on their Quija board to no avail:

"It is a female. Her name is Vesper" said Anya.

"She says she is going to win Bond's love back at any cost! Even though she is a spirit and presumably so is Bond!" said Solitaire, taking a hearty puff from a cigarette.

"Is she now-a succubus?" asked Anya.

"No. I don't think so. Definitely not. Just a very determined female spirit" replied Solitaire.

"It's not really Vesper. She wasn't like this. I knew her" replied Anya.

"You may be right," replied Solitaire. "You may be right" she added again.

To be continued...