The rest of the night didn't go much better. The oppressive silence kept them both on edge, but after the tense confrontation Shikaku didn't make another attempt at conversation. They both needed time and clearer heads for that.
He took first watch since sleep seemed pointless. He couldn't get his mind to shut up long enough for sleep to claim him. Those four words just kept echoing around his head. You never cared before.
He did care.
He always has.
He cared about that boy more then anything.
Surely he must know that? Was he just Lashing out? A way to hurt him, said out of anger?
He would accept that if the boy sounded angry. But he didn't and that made it hurt so much worse. It wasn't even said with bitterness. It was stated as if it was a cold hard fact, like saying the sky was blue or the day was a Friday. Well he would have to get to the bottom of this one way of the other.
Shikaku didn't need to wake Shikamaru for his watch, the boy was already awake or more likely didn't sleep at all. He sat next to his father and lit up a cigarette.
"We have a long days travel tomorrow, you should get some sleep." Shikaku advised. It felt weird to brake the spell of silence that had been cast on the camp since the failure of a shogi match.
"So should you. I can't sleep so one of us might as well." He spoke behind his cigarette, tone impartial.
" Well I don't think I could sleep right now either." His confession seemed to surprise the younger Nara. They slipped back into silence again watching the stars.
"It's ironic that before this mission started, Shikaku would always say he was close to Shikamaru but it seems more like they were about as close to each other as they where to the stars they watched. currently that distance seemed to be growing.
Shikaku needed to connect with the boy. Get him to open up and then maybe they could figure out this shitshow. If he was back at the village he would get the boy blackout drunk, Yoshino's wrath be dammed! Yeah it was an asshole move to get his underage son Shitfaced to pry information out of him, but he was getting desperate and playing dirty doesn't really apply to Shinobi. That plan would probably damage there relationship more afterwards, since Shikamaru wouldn't take kindly to being manipulative like that, but at least he would be getting somewhere! Having a drink in general seemed like a good way to deal with all this shit right now, if you asked him.
Shikaku exhaled loudly rubbing the bridge between he's eyes to try and wish away a headache he could already feel forming. He could feel his sons eyes on him.
Fuck it.
Acting on impulse, he plucked the cigarette out of his sons fingers, pulling a deep drag from it. for a moment he was able to pretend as if it hadn't been over 20 years since he last smoked, ignoring the terrible taste and dry burning in his throat and lungs, he enjoyed the nicotine rush and the slight light-headed but pleasant feeling that accompanied it. Unfortunately his out of practice lungs soon betrayed him And It was pointless to try to stifle the less the gracefully coughing fit that followed.
Shikamaru, to his credit seemed to be trying his best to conceal his muffled snorts of laughter, but one look at his fathers usually stoic face was the boys undoing. Shikamaru's cackling was too contagious for Shikaku to hid his own amusement and it took several moments before ether could regain there composure. His damaged pride was worth it, he missed the boys laughter.
Shikamaru broke their contemplation first. " mom would have a fit if she knew both of us were willingly missed out on napping."
The truth of the comment made Shikaku snort out laughter again .Yeah, Yoshino had been trying for years to beat the notorious laziness out of the both of them. The shear idea of them willing staying awake would probably end in her dragging them both to the torture and Interrogation department, demanding to know who these imposters were. While the thought was amusing it quickly turned a bit sour, no, none of them could of foreseen these turn of events.
They lapsed back into a more comfortable silence and things felt almost normal. Once Shikamaru snubbed out another cigarette ,Shikaku spoke. "We still have a few hours till dawn. Try and rest a little, I don't think we will run into any trouble now we are so far from the leaf but we need to be on our guard just in case." His son nodded tiredly and settled back down by his bedroll by the fire.
They had two days left of travel before they got to Miyakotan. Shikaku never liked the capital much, in-fact he's sure most ninja weren't fond of it. Sure, The city itself was beautiful, you would have to be blind not to notice. The daimyō spent a lot of time and money to not only make his ivory tower as extravagant as possible but the surrounding city as well. Of course the divide in wealth was vast but the fire daimyō tried to hide the slums out of site as much as possible, only caring about the poor when he needed to exploit them for labour no one who wasn't desperate would do. Yes it looked beautiful but it was a shallow beauty masking the thick dirt and corruption that all the gold, jade and marble in the world couldn't truly hide. After all the city wasn't designed for the citizens,if it was a lot less would be struggling with severe poverty.
It was all just one big dick measuring contest between the daimyōs, a game of my castle is bigger then yours. All they ever did was squabble between themselves and once ones pride got hurt too much they would send the shinobi to, fight their battles while they sip tea oblivious to the horrors of war they unleashed with there petty conflict.
The city may as well be stained red with how much of shinobi blood it shed. No, the shinobi didn't like the city, and the people of the city didn't like the shinobi. It wasn't nice to be reminded of the killing they caused when said killer wasn't needed. Still this would be Shikamaru's first trip to Miyakotan, maybe the change of scenery would be enough to get the boy to open up.
note: This is my first fic and I'm struggling to upload due to only being on mobile so chapters might differ in formatting while i figure out how to do this and whats best. last one was a nightmare as it kept glitching, hopefully this one goes better. forgot to say I'm also dyslexic with no beta so be warned that while ill try my best spelling and grammar will be a bit rubbish.
