Chapter 14
Inside Ha Jin's apartment Sanya and Joon Yeong put down the groceries they have brought in the dining table. They arrange the groceries in the cabinet and inside the fridge. Joon yeong washes the vegetables and prepares the meat for their lunch. Sanya walks to Ha Jin's room and enters. She flops unceremoniously beside a sleeping Ha Jin, putting her arms around her best friend.
"Ya! Ha Jin-ah Il-eo-na! (wake-up) Cheon-sim-eul meog-cha! (let's have lunch)." Sanya hugs Ha Jin, shaking her to wake.
Ha Jin turns to the opposite side, not minding Sanya. She had pulled an all nighter in her lab last night and had came home in the wee hours of morning exhausted. She just wanted to sleep the whole day.
"Ha Jin-ah your mother sent us a new batch of side dishes. Ni eom-ma-ga jinjja choe-go-ya! (Your mother is really the best!)" Joon Yeong calls from the kitchen.
"Ya! You better wake-up or I will finish everything that Joon Yeong had cooked. Uh?!" Sanya shakes Ha Jin, playfully threatening her.
"Ka! (go) ka! Ka!" Ha Jin annoyingly dismisses her best friend, planning to sleep some more.
Sanya gets-up and exits Ha Jin's room. She goes to the living room to put on some music. She turns the volume up and playfully dance into it.
Ha Jin can hear the music in her room, a pluck of strings being played.
That's strange, it sounds like a Gayaguem (1) being played? Must be one of Sanya's weird new hobbies again.
Her best friend is a fickle minded girl that picks up a new hobby as fast as discarding it. Ha Jin turns to her side, putting her hands on her ears. She doesn't want to get up but the sound keeps getting louder and louder until she couldn't stand it anymore.
"Ya! Sanya-nga, si-kkue-reo! (You're too loud!)" Ha Jin shouts.
With her eyes still close, she flicks her blanket away and tries to get up but couldn't. Her body feels heavy, her muscles and joints painful, as if she had hiked in a strenuous mountain for days without training.
The Gayageum playing had abruptly stopped. Something feels off, it seems her room is too bright, sunny bright. She wonders if Sanya had parted her drape of curtain in the windows. She had wanted to shout at her again but she feels too exhausted. She can feel the end of her pillow in her cheeks. It seems small, rectangle small.
Did Sanya took my pillows too?
Someone approaches Ha Jin and softly touches her cheeks with the back of their hand, feeling her temperature.
"Hae Soo-ya?"
Hae Soo?
Ha Jin is confused, sure that it was her best friend who was hugging her a while ago. The touch on her face is familiar but different. It isn't of Sanya's. Ha Jin freezes, afraid to open her eyes.
"Hae Soo-ya, na-ya, un-ni-ye-yo. (It's me, Myung Hee.)" Myung Hee softly strokes Hae Soo's hair, trying to draw Hae soo out.
Chae Ryung was serving tea to Myung Hee and Baek-Ah a while ago, having one of their afternoon teas inside Hae Soo's room, looking after her. Baek-Ah was playing his Gayaguem when Hae Soo suddenly talked and moved in her sleep. They looked at each other and had quickly approached Hae Soo. Chae Ryung puts down the pot of tea in the table and stands beside Hae Soo's bed.
Ha Jin slowly opens her eyes, seeing the three crowding on her.
I'm still here?
"Hae Soo-ya you're awake?!" Myung Hee suddenly hugs Hae Soo, tears escaping her eyes.
She holds on to a weak Hae Soo, embracing her tight, her anxiety finally lifting. She sobs some more before letting go, worried that she's suffocating her.
"Hae Soo-ya do you know how worried we were about you?" Baek-Ah touches Hae Soo's hand over her blanket.
Myung Hee turns to Chae Ryung "Chae Ryung-ah go and tell the 8th prince that our Hae Soo is finally awake. Ppal-li ka-ra! (Go fast!)"
"Yie agassi." Chae Ryung smiles at Hae Soo before she leaves.
"Ya! If I have known my playing of Gayageum would irritate you to wake, I would have played it sooner! Was is that bad?" Baek-Ah jokes around, glad to see Hae Soo awake.
Ha Jin just look at Baek-Ah and Myung Hee, her brain still a little clouded from a long sleep. Her throat feels sore from not using it for a long time, her body feeling like a jelly. She has nothing to say, sure that she was in her apartment a few minutes ago but then she remembers that she doesn't have an apartment anymore. Joong Yeong and Sanya had taken the deposit of her apartment and had run away together. She had nowhere to go back to. The memory of their betrayal and of her life in the present time and in here all come crashing back to her, raw and painful.
Why was I trying so hard to go back to my present life again when I had nothing to go back too?
Because this isn't my life either.
The tears formed in her eyes, her heart more painful than the rest of her. She starts crying uncontrollably.
Myung Hee and Baek-Ah watches her worried. Myung Hee touches her left arm with both of her hands. She then strokes the side of her face.
"Shhhhh Gwaen-chanh-a Hae Soo-ya, gwae-chanh-a, you're here with us. Home. You're home." Myung Hee consoles Hae Soo, assuring her over and over.
Home?
Ha Jin stops responding. She closes her eyes in an effort to stop the tears from falling but her tears kept coming anyway. She couldn't stop once the lead in her emotions opened. She cries for the betrayal of her most loved people in the world. She cries for the life she could never return to. She cries for not knowing what happened to Hae Soo. She cries for the people who expected for their Hae Soo to return but had gotten her instead. She cries because that's all she can do. Cry.
Myung Hee and Baek-Ah are starting to panic.
The 8th prince rushes to Hae Soo's quarters as soon as Chae Ryung informs him. He throws open her doors, too impatient to have his presence announced. He takes large strides, covering the distance from the door to Hae Soo's bed in a few steps. Baek-Ah gives way to Wook as he arrives.
Myung Hee had taken Hae Soo's head into her lap, continuously consoling her. She looks-up as Wook stands beside them.
Wook sits beside Hae Soo and raises his hand to touch Hae Soo's wet cheek with the back of his hand.
"Hae Soo-ya, what's wrong" Wook looks to Myung Hee "What happened?"
"Mo-reu-gess-eub-ni-da (I don't know). She just woke-up and suddenly started crying." Myung Hee worriedly explains.
"Hae Soo-ya, are you in pain, is there something wrong?" Wook tries to dry the tears in Hae Soo's cheek with his hand.
"Maybe she's still in shock?" Baek-Ah infers.
"Maybe." Wook turns to Chae Ryung who had trailed after him. "Chae Ryung-ah, have someone go to the palace and fetch the royal doctor, our Hae Soo needs to be checked again."
Ha Jin takes her hand out of the blanket and weakly holds Wook hand away from her, stopping him from touching her.
"Please don't call for the doctor. I'm fine." Ha Jin answers without opening her eyes.
She takes her head out of Myung Hee's lap and turns to her left side, facing the wall. She weakly pulls her blanket over her head, making the 8th prince stand and move away from her bed since his sitting on her blanket.
"Please leave." Ha Jin dismisses the four, wanting to be left alone.
Myung Hee, Wook and Baek-Ah exchange worried glances. A few more minutes and they decide to leave Hae Soo be for now.
Outside the town of Songak, near the foot of the mountains is a dilapidated hanok not far from a small inn. The man and So stands outside its door. A few subordinates of the man are scattered around the area, maintaining the distance from the two but still watching. The man opens the door to the hanok and a decaying smell of a dead body instantly welcomes the two. So covers his nose with the tips of his jeogori and looks at the man beside him. The man shrugs and signals for So to go inside. Reluctantly, So comes in. Inside the hanok, the body was unceremoniously dumped into what used to be a dining table.
So approaches the table. At a closer look, the body had turned grey and bloated from having been in the water for too long. He takes a knife from his waist and uses it's pommel to prod the body here and there but it doesn't tell him more than what he already know from observing the assassin from that night. So comes closer to the face. He raises the lid of the eyes. Nothing. He turns the head left and right. Nothing. He tries to open its mouth and sees something strange. The tongue inside was cut off. It doesn't look like it was recent. He takes note of how it looks and then proceeds to poke around the chest after. He commits everything in his brain, making sure he memorizes every detail. The man just stood in the door observing So.
After a few more prodding and poking. So exits the hanok. He walks a few meters away and takes a deep breathe, filling his lungs with a clean air.
"Kkut? (Are you done?)" The man asked speaking informally with So.
So nods with his back turned from the hanok. The man signals to his subordinates and they all came out of the trees. One of them carries a container and starts splashing something on the walls. Another subordinate lights a fire and flicks it to the hanok. So turns just in time to see the hanok catch fire. He doesn't know if he should put a stop to it but he's pretty sure that they are doing this to provoke him so he calmly turn his back instead and takes to his horse not giving them a chance to see him annoyed. The man stops him from mounting his horse. He makes So stand beside him to watch the hanok burn.
"Did you like our present? I hope you thoroughly examined the body, as you see you wouldn't be able to go back to it." The man smirks.
So doesn't want to stay a minute longer but there is something dangerous about the way the man is making him stay. He stands stoically not giving away anything.
"Did you see what's strange about the body? Or should I also point it out to you?" the man glances at So, playing with him.
So catches the threatening undertone in the man's voice. He stills in his feet, calculating his chances.
"Do you remember, when you were six and I dragged you to the aisle in front of your mother and I made you open your mouth to pull your tongue out?"
So thinks back to that time. It was one of those bearable days when they let him be on his own. The palace had been peacefully quiet for a long time and his mother, Lady Shinjuwon, had been lucid for the past few months. They had let him be, ignoring him for the most part of his stay. One night, he wakes from a commotion in the inner palace. An assassin was found at his mother's quarters and was shot to death. The next day he was dragged into the morgue and was forced to look at the body. He was then brought in front of his mother who's having one of her fits.
The man suddenly grabs So by the neck and chokes him. "Remind me why did your mother wanted to pull your tongue out again?"
So can feel the man's hand tightening at his neck, cutting of his air passage. He tries to fight off the man but the man is too strong. He knows he would never win a fight with him in bare hands. He can only best him in sword fights.
The man makes So kneel while still holding to his neck, "Dae-tap ha-ra! (Tell me!)"
"Because… an assassin… had threatened… Lady Shinjuwon's life." So answers as much as he can while gasping.
"Nu gu?! (Who?!)" The man asked
"Eomonim... eomoni ga. (My mother, my mother)" So remembers that the man hates it when he calls the crazy consort by the name. He remembers to call her mother this time.
"And why pull your tongue out then?" The man tightens his hold on to So more.
"because… the assassin… that was sent… had a peculiar… characteristic about him… his tongue… was cut… out…" suddenly, a realization hits So.
The assassin sent to Lady Shinjuwon and the assassin he had examined a while ago have both of their tongues cut off and not just recent. It looked like it was cut off a long time ago.
The man loosens his hold on So. So falls to the ground gasping for air.
"And who sent the assassin to your mother again?" The man asks standing scarily in front of So.
So doesn't answer the man but he finally puts the puzzle in place. It was his birth mother who had sent the assassin to Lady Shinjuwon years ago. His birth mother's clan had a long standing feud with the Shinju Kang Clan and had sent an assassin to end the ruling of Kang clan in the north western borders. It took the Shinju Kang clan days to figure out that the assassin sent to them was a fallen monk from one of the Buddhist temple that the Chungju Yu clan maintains. It might be that his birth mother is also behind the seja's assassination this time too.
The man cruelly smiles at So knowing he had finally caught-on. He takes to his horse and mounts it, leaving So in the ground.
"You owe us, two favors then." The man calls as he leaves on his horse.
As the man and his subordinate leave, So turns to his back, completely lying on the ground, shaking from fear and the cold. He couldn't bring himself to stand, still trap in the memory of his six year old self. He curls to himself, trying to find some warmth.
It would be hours before So recovers himself enough to pull himself together and go home. He was supposed to meet Ji Mong and Mu after his investigation outside Songak but he couldn't bring himself to discuss anything with them not with his birth mother getting involved. He had been longing to come home to his birth family for so long but it seems, their lives weren't as simple as before. He couldn't believe his birth mother would try to kill the seja. Mu is his half brother, the same blood runs in their veins. They might not be whole brothers but he cares for his brother as much as he cares for his birth mother. Torn between protecting his brother and his birth mother, he decides to withhold all of the information until he makes up his mind about what to do with it.
Around the plaza, in a discreet alley where only a few people comes around, a few crowd had gathered to watch a hand to hand match between two unknown men. The boy standing on the right looks like a peasant who gambles for a hobby while the one standing on the left looks decent enough to be a middle class. They are on their last round of the match. They circle each other sizing their opponent. The peasant-looking boy has a cut on his lips while the middle class-looking boy crouches a little, holding on to his stomach. He had just received a solid blow on his stomach and hasn't recovered his breath yet. The crowd starts their chant, each putting silver to one of the boys.
Baek-Ah is walking towards his usual dinning place at the top of the bridge over looking the market when the noise from the alley draws his attention. He sees the crowd encircled over something. Curious, he walks towards the crowd. As he nears, he sees it's a fight between two boys. He smiles, amused. These kinds of fights are normal in this discreet alley. Usually, it's a past time for peasants and gamblers to throw a wrestling match and bet on each of the players.
Baek-Ah takes out his sketchpad to draw the scene. He likes drawing people who are in the middle of an action as opposed to landscapes. When Baek-Ah draws people, he feels like his immersing with them too, taking their actions as his own, living their lives at the moment as it happens.
He looks at the two boys circling each other now, tentatively getting a feel of the energy around them. As he starts with the middle class-looking boy, something about him feels familiar, his movement, and the way he holds his body. Baek-Ah looks closer and recognizes Jung in a middle class hanbok.
"Wah! So this is where he gets his bruises. If he is this enthusiastic with learning what's written in our Four Books and Five Classics (2) then he wouldn't always be in trouble with our tutor." Baek-Ah marvels as he watches Jung flies in the air and lands his ultimate blow on his opponent.
The crowd around them cheers for Jung, unaware of his real status as a prince. A few people hug him and congratulate him for his win. Baek-Ah just stood there watching his brother get swallowed by the crowd.
After the crowd exchange their payment for winners and losers of bet, Jung finally notices Baek-Ah at the back. The color on Jung's face drain, surprised to see Baek-Ah there. Baek-Ah approaches him. Jung wonders if he could make a run for it but Baek-Ah is as fast as he is, grabbing hold of his arm before he could even think of leaving.
"Is that the way to greet your older brother?" Baek-Ah pulls at Jung.
"Ei Hyungnim, What are you doing here?" Jung laughs nervously.
"Kue nyang, I was just walking around." Baek-Ah answers.
"Did you see everything?" Jung pats the back of his neck with his hand "Please don't tell anyone you saw me here. I don't usually come here. I was also just walking around when I saw a fight and figure I should practice what I learn during our martial arts class."
"Ah, you wanted to practice. Keu-re! (Of course you do!) Shall I also practice voicing my mind during our palace assembly?" Baek-Ah playfully threatens Jung.
"Ay Hyungnim! Please let this go, just this once. Uh? Je-bal (please). I'll cover for you in our next martial arts class" Jung tries to negotiate with Baek-Ah.
"Then you'll cover for me for a week?" Baek-Ah doesn't mind their martial arts class but he'd rather draw than bruise his hand with sword fighting.
"Il ju-il?! (one week?!) Hyung! You know how strong our tutor's parry is. I wouldn't be able to use my arm for a week if I cover you for every spar that he would make you do." Jung tries again.
"Keu-reom, shall I tell our father then, where you go when you disappear from the palace?" Baek-Ah threatens Jung again.
"Ara-seo! Ara-seo! Just a week. Alright?!" Jung concedes to Baek-Ah.
"Treat me to a drink then, You've won quite a lot from the bet a while ago." Baek-Ah pulls Jung to the street leading to the Jumak.
"Eiii you're being too much hyung, I earned it with my blood and sweat. Besides you're older than me, you should be the one paying for our drinks." Jung shrugs his brother's pull on him.
"You never really need the money anyway. Your mother's clan is too rich. Besides, I'm a bearer of good news. If you hear what I'm about to tell you, you'd be glad you've gotten me a drink." Baek-Ah playfully smiles.
"That better be a good news or I swear… chu-keoss-eo (You're a dead man!)" Jung playfully threatens his brother.
Baek-Ah just laughs as they head over the jumak.
So comes home to his 8th brother's household well after midnight. He went straight to his quarters and attended to his self, washing the trace of anything to do with his family in Shinju.
He takes his blanket from his bed and opted to lie on the heated floor, trying to warm himself. He positions himself beside his bed, where Hae Soo once lied down. He imagines feeling the warmth from that side of the floor but it's not the same as touching Hae Soo or having her near.
A few toss and turns and he abandons the idea of sleep, his mind too busy, his body too cold. He considers standing outside Hae Soo's wall for a few minutes just to feel her familiar warmth. He gets out of his room to walk.
As he nears Hae Soo's quarters, he feels something is amiss. There's no light inside Hae Soo's room. Normally, there's a dim light coming from the room but tonight only the lanterns outside her room are lighted.
He looks around making sure no one is lurking anywhere, afraid to be caught by anyone. When he's sure that he is alone, he steps into her foyer and walks into her door. He puts his ears in it, listening for anything. He hears nothing but the sound of night insects crooning. He wonders if he should knock or announce his presence but he dismisses the thought quickly. He thinks it would only be futile since Hae Soo is trapped in an unwakeable sleep, unaware that Hae Soo had finally woken this afternoon.
He tentatively opens her door bracing him for the familiar warmth that would welcome him. The door opens but only a little, it's stuck like something from the inside is obstructing it from opening widely. He stops, closing the door again. His heart races in his chest. Finally catching-up that Hae Soo might have woken-up already. Otherwise, why else would there be no light and no people hanging around her room. He takes his hand from the door and decides to walk away. As he steps down in the foyer, he turns back and walks to her door again, curiosity getting the best out of him. He takes a deep breath and opens her door once more. The door opens enough to let him in if he enters sideways. He steps inside and closes the door. He allows his eyes to adjust to the darkness before making a move. As his eyes adjust, he sees something on the floor, in front of the door. It's Hae Soo lying on the floor.
Ha Jin was trying to reach her door to lock it a while ago but since she had been asleep for a few days and her body isn't fully recovered yet, it was a struggle for her to reach the door. A few steps out of her bed and she feels the dizziness over taking her. She managed to let herself lie down on the floor, in her stomach, thinking of taking a break before continuing with the tedious work of locking her door. She loses consciousness instead and had been sleeping on the floor until now.
So approaches Hae Soo, worried, completely discarding his intuition to leave before she wakes-up and finds him there. He goes down on the floor and tentatively shakes her. No response. He gently parts her hair to the side of her face. He puts his two fingers under her nostrils, assessing if she's breathing. When he felt her breathe, he turns Hae Soo in her back and slings her right arm to the back of his neck. He puts his left arm on her back and his right hand underneath her knees. He stands-up and carries Hae Soo. So looks at Hae Soo, feeling her lightweight on his arms, not liking it. He thinks she should eat more.
He gently puts Hae Soo down to her bed. As he takes his arms underneath Hae Soo to stand, Hae Soo moves to cross her left arm with her right, holding on to So, enveloping him with her scent and her warmth. Ha Jin is stuck inside her dream, seeing the daughter of the moon and her prince in the sacred lake.
"Hae… Soo…ya?" So utters Hae Soo's name, confused. "Are you awake?"
He stands frozen, with his body awkwardly hovering above Hae Soo. He can feel his heart pounding hard on his chest, afraid that Hae Soo might feel it even through all the thick clothes in between them. After a minute of no response from Hae Soo, he tries to coax Hae Soo's arm encircled around his neck to let go but it only made Hae Soo hold on to him more, pulling him further into the bed with her. So braces his arms against the bed to support him and prevent his body from falling into a sleeping Hae Soo. He stays like that for a few minutes torn whether he should let her be or should he try to wake her up again but if Hae Soo wakes-up now and finds him above her in bed that would be a lot harder to explain.
With his back beginning to cramp, he takes Hae Soo in his arms again and sits on her bed instead. He rests his back against the wall and carefully puts Hae Soo down on his lap, supporting her back with his left arm. He arranges her with her head resting on his chest to make them both comfortable. Soon, his heart beat calms down in time with Hae Soo's breathing. He then looks at her through the darkness,
"Soo-ya, do you know what you're doing to me?" So whispers to a sleeping Hae Soo, conceding to her again.
He holds tighter to her, letting her warmth washed over him, drowning his fears and anger from his bad day. So rests his head on the wall, hoping that her servant, Chae Ryung, doesn't walk in on them again.
"Agassi, agassi, are you awake? Can I come in?" Chae Ryung announces her self to Hae Soo's door, a little reluctant to come in.
She puts her ears to the door, waiting for Hae Soo to answer but no answer came. She reluctantly opens her door after a few seconds and takes a peak inside. She sees her lady awake sitting on her bed, staring lost at something while a few rays of sunlight dances in her sheets.
Ha Jin had woken up moments ago feeling well rested but confuse. She's quite sure that she's dreaming about that girl that looks like her in a lake with a man but Ha Jin also feels that she was dreaming of Hae Soo's room last night. Someone had held her in their arms as she sleeps. Ha Jin shakes her head, trying to clear her dizziness. She feels a little weak but better. She looks at Chae Ryung as she approaches her.
"Chae Ryung-ah, did someone came into my room late last night?" Ha Jin asks befuddled.
Chae Ryung freezes at the sound of her name. She doesn't know what to expect from her lady who had just woken-up. She gauges her mood, afraid that she might throw her out of her room again. Hae Soo looks like her normal self, the Hae Soo who had been causing troubles left and right. Chae Ryung smiles, her joy winning over her reluctance. She quickens her step and crashes to Hae Soo, hugging her tight.
"Agassi po-go sip-eu-seo! Cheong-mal! (I really missed you my lady!) I thought you would never wake-up again." Tears form in Chae Ryung's eyes, relieve to see Hae Soo her normal self again. "I'm sorry that I lost you in the forest. It will never happen again. Choe-song-hae-yo cheong-mal choe-song-hae-yo. (I'm sorry, I'm so sorry)"
Ha Jin was surprised by the sudden outburst from Chae Ryung, She recalls what happened yesterday when she awoke. She was too overwhelmed by everything around her that she had acted rudely to her visitors. She suddenly feels bad, ashamed for how she had acted yesterday. She pats Chae Ryung at the back, consoling her.
"Gwaen-chanh-a, na-do choe-song-hae-yo. (I'm sorry too.) I didn't mean to make everyone worried. How long was I asleep?" Ha Jin asks awkwardly smiling.
Chae Ryung breaks their embrace and dries her cheeks with her hands, she looks up thinking, "hmmm il ju-il? (a week?)"
"Mwo?! Chil il? (what?! Seven days?) wah!" Ha Jin was too surprised.
She looks around her, as if looking around would bring her up to date with what she missed for the last one week.
"Ne, we were so worried that you didn't want to come back to us…" Chae Ryung updates Ha Jin with what happened for the last one week.
She tells Hae Soo that some of the princes had come in everyday to visit her. The 10th prince had brought her little origami made from expensive textiles, which explains why her vanity cabinet is suddenly full of those pretty origamis. The 13th prince and the 8th prince had taken to have their tea with Myung Hee served inside her room everyday looking after her. The 14th prince had stood outside her room every now and then, as if guarding her from something. The 3rd prince and 9th prince, visited once too. The seja even came with his astronomer and brought her a hot cocoa that she wasn't able to drink.
Chae Ryung conveniently leaves out that piece of information about walking in on the 4th prince inside Hae Soo's room. She doesn't know what her lady's relationship with the 4th prince yet so she resolves to observe them for the meantime.
Ha Jin takes all of this in, feeling so bad for worrying everyone. She resolves to get things together starting with Hae Soo's cousin, Myung Hee.
So is this going to be my life from now on?
Hae Soo, where are you?
Outside the daechung (open air living room), at the corner, Ha Jin stands peaking from the wall. She is trying to see how Myung Hee is. She seems to be having a breakfast with the 8th prince. Ha Jin doesn't know if she should just come back later when Myung Hee is alone, afraid on how her presence would be welcome after what she did yesterday.
"Mwo ha-go iss-eo? (What are you doing?)"
From behind Hae Soo, Eun peaks with Hae Soo, startling her.
"E kkam-jjak-ya! (you surprised me!)" Ha Jin jumps on her feet hitting Eun weakly in the arms.
"Eoh! Did you just touch me again?" Eun takes Hae Soo's hitting him as a signal that he can also touch her.
Eun suddenly hugs Hae Soo, happy to see her finally awake. He jumps a little like a kid while holding on to Hae Soo. Ha Jin was more surprised to be hugged by the 10th prince. She awkwardly pats Eun at the back, getting use to the sudden outburst of skinship from Eun.
"Hae Soo-ya po-go sip-eo-so! Jin-jja! (I really missed you) Please don't ever sleep again. I thought I was going to lose my mind when it took days before you wake-up. You really scared me." Eun tells Hae Soo like a kid holding on to his noona.
"A-ra-seo, a-ra-seo. (alright, alright)." Ha Jin consoles Eun.
"Ya! I'm serious uh! You can't do that again." Eun breaks their hug to jokingly threaten Hae Soo.
Ha Jin nods, happy to be making-up with someone.
The noise coming from them had caught the attention of Myung Hee and Wook inside the Daechung. They both step out to take a look at what's going on. They see Hae Soo up and playfully joking around with Eun. Both of their anxiety lifts up at the sight of their Hae Soo smiling again.
At the middle of playing around with Eun, Ha Jin notices Myung Hee and Wook observing them. She stops, suddenly nervous again. Eun finally notices Myung Hee and Wook.
"An-nyeong ha-se-yo! Lady Myung Hee, Hyungnim." Eun automatically bows and greets the two.
Hae Soo followed then and meekly gives her bow.
"Eun-ah, don't you think it's too early to be causing trouble in someone else's household?" Wook stands observing the two.
"Ah yie hyungnim, sil-lye-hab-ni-da (please excuse my presence then) I was just happy to see Hae Soo finally awake. Keu-reom..." Eun drags Hae Soo by the wrist and walks closer to the balustrade of the foyer "Myung Hee Ssi, are you going to have dinner with everyone in your family? Can I come and join?"
Eun flashes his best dashing smile at Myung Hee, unabashedly waiting like a kid.
"Huh? Wae-yo? Have dinner with your own family, why are you being intrusive to my cousin?" Ha Jin quietly argues with Eun like a kid too, her anxiety rising again. She doesn't want to see anyone.
Myung Hee and Wook look at each other considering the idea.
"Why don't we have dinner for everyone then?" Myung Hee smiles, giving in to Eun's request. "Have all your brothers come so I could thank them for looking after our Hae Soo while she was ill."
"An-dwae-yo! (We can't!)" Ha Jin suddenly shouts and then lowers her voice fidgeting, "I mean, unnie, you don't have to do this for me. I like it better when it's just us."
Ha Jin explains, her voice getting smaller and smaller by the end of her sentence.
"Gwaen-chanh-a Hae Soo-ya. It's not a burden to me." Myung Hee assures Hae Soo.
"Ne, kam-sa-hab-ni-da Myung Hee Ssi. Il-dan, na hon-ja kal ke-yo (Let me go first then)" Eun then turns to Hae Soo, "Na-chung-e bo-ja! (I'll see you later)."
Eun bows and dismisses himself. He leaves in a better mood and a smile on his face. Ha Jin was left standing awkwardly on her feet.
"Hae Soo-ya, why don't you come up here and have breakfast with us." Wook calls at Hae Soo, glad to see her awake.
Inside the daechung, Ha Jin sits rigid in between Myung Hee and Wook. The servants had set the table for three, expecting Hae Soo to join them. The two observes Hae Soo who seemed to be unable to lift her eyes.
"Chal chi-naess-eo-yo? (How are you today?)" Wook starts, smiling at Hae Soo
"Yie, Chal chi-nae-yo. (I'm alright)" Ha Jin chews her lower lip, undecided with what she should say.
Hundreds of things passed on Ha Jin's mind. She hasn't had the time to think on what she should do with her life from now on. Yesterday, she had cried all day for the life she could never come back to and for Hae Soo who could be lost somewhere. She doesn't know where to start. Coming clean to Myung Hee is not an option. She doesn't think they would believe her if she says she's not Hae Soo and if by chance they believe her, what would happen to her. She has nowhere to go to.
Myung Hee and Wook exchanges look, worried for Hae Soo who isn't saying anything. Myung Hee wonders if their old Hae Soo is back. The meek Hae Soo that she had grown-up with or this is still their new Hae Soo who doesn't remember anything.
"Gwaen-chanh-a (it's alright). Whatever it is you're thinking about, it's all right if you take some time to figure it out. We have all the time here. You don't have to push yourself too much." Wook assures Hae Soo.
Ha Jin raises her head to look at Wook who is smiling at her.
Kue-re (that's right), there's nothing I can do about it right now.
Ha Jin is torn between wanting to start in this new life here or to continue looking out for Hae Soo's return. She feels trapped, suspended in between living and leaving.
For now, she stands in her seat and kneels on the ground, bowing to Myung Hee and Wook.
"Choe-song-hab-ni-da, cheong-mal (I'm really sorry). I wasn't right on my mind yesterday. Please excuse my rudeness." Ha Jin bows her head on the ground, the highest form of respect she can give.
I'm sorry that I'm taking Hae Soo's life as mine at the moment. I'm sorry that I don't know what happened to her. I'm sorry that I will never be able to live-up to your expectation of Hae Soo. I'm sorry that I am not her. I'm sorry that I am burdening you and will probably continue to be a burden for sometime.
Ha Jin apologizes in her mind over and over as tears formed in her eyes again. She stops her self from crying, shaking from the effort.
Wook and Myung Hee quickly got to their knees beside Hae Soo, stopping her. Myung Hee puts her arms around Hae Soo, hugging her tight.
"Gwaen-chanh-a Hae Soo-ya, gwaen-chanh-a. For as long as you came back to us, it's alright." Myung Hee consoles Hae Soo.
She breaks their embrace to stand. Wook tries to help the both of them as they stand. They can feel Hae Soo shaking on their arms, still weak. They sit her on her chair again.
"Hae Soo-ya, noona e-ge chal deul-eo-ra (Listen to your older sister well). She knows what's best for you. Please stop worrying and take care of your health instead. Our home will always be your home." Wook assures Hae Soo.
He goes back to his seat again. Myung sits on her chair too and touches Hae Soo's hand on her lap.
"Ja! Mas-itt-ke meog-eu-se-yo! (please eat well)" Myung Hee tells Hae Soo.
Ha Jin tries to smile as she swallows the lump in her throat. The 8th prince takes a mushroom and puts it in Ha Jin's bowl of rice. He smiles at her as Ha Jin looks at the mushroom. They start eating.
"The 8th prince and I had just been talking about taking you to visit one of the temples in Songak Mountain. What do you say?" Myung Hee asks Hae Soo in between eating, "You would be able to get some rest there and maybe meditate. It would be good for our mind and body."
"Keu-reol kka-yo? (Shall we then?)" Ha Jin answers reluctantly looking in between the 8th prince and Myung Hee.
"The ride might be a little longer and harder by the horse, so we'll go once you regain your health a bit better. Maybe we should stay a night so the two of you wouldn't feel too tired with the trip." Wook adds.
Ha Jin nods finishing her food quietly. A servant comes in and serves dried persimmon for desert. Myung Hee watches as Hae Soo takes a persimmon in her bowl and puts it in her mouth.
"Hae Soo-ya!" Myung Hee stops Hae Soo's hand from putting another persimmon in her mouth.
"Wae-yo? (why?)" Ha Jin asks as the persimmon falls to the table.
"You're allergic to persimmon! Gi-eog i a-ni-ya? (Don't you remember)" Myung Hee explains.
Wook and Myung Hee looks at Hae Soo, concluding that this must still be their 'new Hae Soo', the one that doesn't remember.
"Ah jinjja? (really?). I mean, of course I'm allergic with persimmons. I guess I still don't remember." Ha Jin tries to cover her mistake by smiling awkwardly.
She takes her glass and drinks some water instead.
Ha Jin walks in their courtyard going to their jar stand to do some thinking. She badly needs to contemplate how to go about her life here before she encounters another person and commit another mistake. Her room isn't an option to go back to since she's sick of staying inside of it and people had became too accustomed with visiting her room that it doesn't offer her solace anymore.
She walks with her head bowed down, looking at the ground. Her lips starts to itch irritated from the persimmon that she had eaten a while ago. She keeps chewing her lower lip or patting it with her fingers.
What else is Hae Soo allergic to? Should I ask Chae Ryung or will it be too weird that I don't know.
Better weird than die of Anaphylaxis (3)
So exits his quarters and walks to leave their compound. As he passes the pavilion he sees Hae Soo walking his way. Her head bowed down not noticing him yet. He stops, surprised to finally see her awake and walking around. Last night, as he held her in his arms, he was torn between wanting to see her open her eyes and letting her sleep unaware of his presence.
He stood still observing her, wondering if she had fully recovered already. He waits for her to notice him but Hae Soo is busy mulling about her life, looking down in the grounds, occasionally chewing her lower lips and patting it with her finger. The action draws So's attention to it, suddenly remembering the feel of her lips under the water. So swallows, standing rigid as Hae Soo passes over him, not noticing him.
"Ya! Bad Timing!" So calls out to Hae Soo irritated that she didn't notice him.
"Mwo ra-go-yo? (What did you just said?)" Ha Jin turns, weirded-out by the name she was called.
She sees the 4th prince standing a few feet from her. The last time she saw him, he was threatening her life at the cliff. Her face darkens, annoyed with him.
So steps closer to Hae Soo, closing a few distance in between them. Ha Jin crosses her arms in front of her, standing in her full height but still only coming just below So's lips. They look at each other, sizing each other-up.
"Bad timing! Your name should be bad timing because you have an impeccable bad timing at everything. What were you doing at the middle of the forest at night?! Weren't you taught not to wonder anywhere dangerous? Is your sense of self-preservation lopsided that you can't differentiate when to run and when to stay?" So starts, nagging at Hae Soo, his worry expertly hidden on his words.
"Ah… because I came in between you and your precious assassin?" Hae Soo misunderstands So, indignation rising in her "Yeah, I guess I should listen to everyone when they tell me to stay away from you."
Ha Jin turns to leave. So catches her arm, confused. He was so used to being close to Hae Soo lately that he completely forgotten that he's the only one awake in all their interaction this past few days.
"Wae? Sa-gwa hal-ke? (Are you going to apologize to me?)" Ha Jin asks
"Sa-gwa hal-ke? (Apologize to you?)" So asks getting more confused by the minute, " You should thank me first!"
"Kam-sa-hae? Wae? (Why would I thank you?)" Ha Jin moves dangerously closer to So.
"Because I saved you!" So steps closer too. Leaning towards Hae Soo a little.
There voices getting louder and louder while the distance in their faces getting closer and closer.
"A-ni! You told the assassin to kill me and that if he won't, you'll kill me yourself!" Ha Jin stands her ground.
"I was negotiating with the assassin!" So had never tried so hard to explain something in his whole life.
They both moved closer to each other's face until they are a few inches on each other's lips.
"Sa-gwa hae! (Apologize to me then!)" Ha Jin shouts.
"Kam-sa hae! (Thank me first!)" So returns it.
They look at each other. No one wants to break the gaze first. A few more seconds of silence in between them and suddenly they both realize how close they had gotten to each other's face.
Ha Jin feels the warmth coloring her cheeks as So notices it. She lowers her gaze flustered.
"Mi-an-ha-da. (sorry)" So apologizes in banmal.
"Ko-map-seub-ni-da (thank you.)" Ha Jin thanks So in Cheondemal.
Both of them confused, not knowing why they are apologizing and being grateful to each other.
Silence.
So lets go of his annoyance first. He doesn't know why he is irritated with Hae Soo for not noticing him a while ago. Ha Jin chews her lower lip and touches it with her hands again, Hae Soo's allergy finally taking full effect on her. The action draws So into it again.
"Why do you keep touching your lips anyway? Ku-man ha-ra. (Stop doing that.)" So wants to tell Hae Soo it's distracting him.
"Hae Soo's allergic to persimmon and I made a mistake of eating one a while ago. Wae? Is that also a crime now?" Ha Jin doesn't see the thought behind So's words.
"Persimmon? I see." So takes note of her allergy. "Do you always talk about yourself in a 3rd person perspective?"
He tries not to smile, amused of Ha Jin's mistake, not really understanding that Ha Jin was addressing Hae Soo and not herself. Ha Jin steps back from So, catching herself making a mistake. She bites her lower lips instead and doesn't answer.
"Are you alright now? Do you need some medicine for your allergy" So asks, his protectiveness coming out of him.
"It's fine, I only took one bite anyway. I'm sure it won't kill me." Ha Jin answers, surprised by the sudden thoughtfulness from the 4th prince.
So nods, looking back to the first time he and Hae Soo actually had a conversation, the one on the bridge, across the man-mad lake. When she told him he has a beautiful name. He remembers how it's so easy to fall into a comfortable conversation with Hae Soo, unconsciously missing it.
"Where are you going?" So asks, remembering how Hae Soo passed him a while ago.
"Hmmm?" Ha Jin looks at So. She uncrosses her arms in front of her chest, unconsciously letting her guard down. "Kue nyang (no where). I was just walking around."
"Kue-re-gue-reom, na-rang kach-i san-chaek kal-lae-yo? (Do you want to take a walk with me?) Just until the main gate?" So tentatively asks Hae Soo, not ready to part with her.
Ha Jin looks up with her eyes, thinking. He was being annoying a while ago but he seems thoughtful right now. She nods, not find anything wrong with taking a walk with the 4th prince. "Keu-reol kka-yo? (Shall we?)
The atmosphere between the two of them becomes light as they unconsciously let both of their guards down. They start walking. So walks slowly with his hands behind his back, letting Hae Soo set the pace.
"You were asleep for a week. Are you alright now?" So asks, concern for Hae Soo.
Ha Jin nods, holding on to her chima so she wouldn't step on it. As they walk together, there are many questions going on inside So's head, one of which is whether Hae Soo remembers what happened under the water. He doesn't know if he wants to know the answer to it.
"What were you doing in the forest that night anyway. You seem to be running away from something?" So settles to ask the most pressing question that needs to be addressed.
Ha Jin looks back to that night recalling what she saw in the forest. She unconsciously stops walking. The color on her face drains as she remembers seeing a group of people being slaughtered like animals. She crosses her arms on herself, as if hugging herself as she shakes uncontrollably.
So notices this and had moved unconsciously to touch Hae Soo in the arms but she steps back, holding herself.
"It's alright. You don't have to push yourself to remember." So puts his hands to his back again, giving Hae Soo some space.
"I saw… a few men… the same as the man… who held a sword… in my neck… being… kil..led." Ha Jin shuts her eyes, stuttering.
So looks at Hae Soo at a loss with how to console her. He considers putting his arms around her the way he had held her this past few nights but settles to just stand and watch her finish her sentence instead, taking the information she is having a hard time to give him. "Did you see who killed them?"
Ha Jin breathes calming herself.
I can't be like this if I'm going to stay here from now on.
It takes a few minutes before Ha Jin gets a hold of herself. So just waits for her, sensing that she shouldn't be pushed anymore. He's just worried that what she saw in the forest might put her in more danger.
Ha Jin takes a deep breathe then opens her eyes after a while. She uncrosses her arms and pats the cold sweat that had formed in her forehead.
"Gwaen-chanh-a?" So asks.
Ha Jin nods, "Let's walk? Walking helps."
They continue walking to the main gate. So observes Hae Soo closely, apprehensively.
"Please forget that I ask. It is better that you forget everything that happened that night."
"There was a man, who looks like the leader of the group He was wearing a coat that looks like a fur or something like an animal pelt. He was standing in front of those masked men. He was the one who gave the order to have the masked men killed. I wasn't able to see his face since it's too dark and he was standing with his back against me." Ha Jin rushes her words, stumbling in her sentence.
She doesn't know if she's making any sense. She tells it in one breath, as if telling it in a quick succession would make things easier.
"I'm sorry, that's everything I saw."
So glances at Hae Soo as realization hits him. He remembers that only Wook, Yo and him went after the assassin in the forest. Wook was wearing a red robe. All of his brothers were wearing red robes except for… Yo.
So grabs Hae Soo's arm, stopping her from walking. "It's enough. Please don't repeat our conversation to anyone, it might endanger you."
He warns Hae Soo, anxiety filling his mind. He knew Hae Soo saw something in the forest but he didn't anticipate that she saw a lot to make her a target if it gets out.
Ha Jin nods confused as she looks at So. Her brain refuses to process anything other than their closeness together.
So lets her go, his heart pounding on his chest. He doesn't know if it's because of the new information he had learn or if it's because of their sudden skin contact when he grabbed Hae Soo's arm and pulled her close to him.
They had reached the main gate and the sudden awareness of their parting makes them awkward. Both of them fidgets, looking everywhere except at each other.
"keu-reom, I'll go first." So breaks their awkward stance.
"Ah yie hwangjanim, An-nyeong-hi ka-se-yo (4). (Good bye then)" Ha Jin bows to give her greetings.
"yie, an-nyeong-hi kye-se-yo (5)." So says his goodbye, giving a curt smile.
He takes to the horse that a servant had prepared in the main gate. Ha Jin watches as So leaves giving her a déjà vu. It feels like she had done this with him before. So looks back one last time before he made his horse walk.
What's wrong with me? Why does everything about the 4th prince suddenly feel so familiar?
In the span of their five minute walk, the 4th prince had managed to annoy her, surprise her, reminded her of how dangerous this period is, flustered her, confused her and made her feel, a feeling she can't put her finger into.
Longing?
How do you long for someone you don't even know? Heol!
1 Traditional Korean zither-like string instrument
2 Chinese classical text about Confucianism in China, written before 300 BC
3 Severe allergic reaction that is life-threatening
4 is a form of goodbye that you tell a person who is leaving
5 is a form of goodbye you tell to the person who is staying
Editor's note:
I imagine that if that last scene of So calling Hae Soo names, happened in modern times, So would be recording Hae Soo's name in his cellphone under the name '타이밍이 나쁜 여자' meaning a girl with a bad timing.
Chapter 14 feels like three steps forward and two steps backward. I was so used to So and Ha Jin doing skinship under the sanctuary and privacy of Hae Soo's dim room that like So, I also forgot that only So was awake in all their skinships. Everything was one way in between them. Heol! Ha Jin is back to square one, only about to make a decision to live as Hae Soo from now on.
And I guess were going to have longer chapters. Please bear with me. :)
