Chapter 16
So and Yeonhwa is standing outside Yeonhwa's foyer. Yeonhwa had waited for So to come back after he had walked the seja and the astronomer at the main gate and had asked him to walked her to her quarters. Yo had seen them together and had followed in a discreet distance, curious. He also needs to talk to So.
"I have heard that our father had suspended your return to Shinju indefinitely. I hope he never takes it back. I love having you here with us." Yeonhwa starts.
So just stands listening to Yeonhwa.
"Orabeonim, you and my brother Wook were born of the same year, isn't it? Wook orabeonim had been married to Myung Hee Ssi for three years now, don't you have plans of settling down too? I'm sure our father has a good lady in mind. Why else would he want you back in the palace now." Yeonhwa smiles a genuine smile.
"Mol-la-yo. (I don't know.) I do not have any expectation. I'm glad to be of use to the seja." So answers.
"I wish you'd stop giving me the right answers for once and just let me know what you really feel." Yeonhwa maintains her smile but feels hurt.
Even though she had been looking out for So for a long time, So had nevevr let his guard down for her.
"Yeonhwa-ya." So looks at his sister at a loss for words.
Yo chooses this time to make his presence known. "Yeonhwa-ya, you shouldn't be misleading our brother to believing that you really care for him. He might think that you see him as a man worthy of your love."
Even in a surprise state, Yeonhwa still bows to give greeting for the 3rd prince. So looks at Yo, wary of him.
"Beside he has someone else in his mind. Isn't it right my little brother?" Yo sits in the balustrades, observing his brother closely.
So stands stoically not answering.
"You do?" Yeonhwa asks, hiding the sudden pain in her chest. "She must be very lucky then."
"Hmmm… Lucky?" Yo doesn't think so, "Let's say she is lucky but if our brother here suddenly gets involved with her, I don't know how long her luck will last or will her luck be enough to save her?"
It takes all of So's effort to not lunge at Yo. He carefully breathes, calming his self. He doesn't know what Yo is talking about but he suspects it has something to do with the girl he had saved.
"Let me know when you decide that I should help you." So answers Yo pertaining to cleaning up the mess that Yo had failed to take care off.
So walks away without glancing back at Yeonhwa or Yo, unable to see the treacherous smile forming on Yo's face.
Inside Hae Soo's quarters, Chae Ryung sits Hae Soo in front of her vanity table. She helps Hae Soo to take out the braided wig and other day's accessories in her head. Ha Jin pulls the dwikkoji in her hair and is surprise to see that the dwikkoji she is wearing was the one the 4th prince left at the Damiwon.
"Chae Ryung-ah, was I wearing this the whole night?" Ha Jin asks, stating the obvious.
Chae Ryung looks at her lady like she just lost her mind again. "Yie Agassi, wae-yo? (yes my lady, why?)"
Heol! please tell me, he didn't see it in my hair. He doesn't think I stole it from him right? I mean there are a lot of dwikkojis like these.
Ha Jin doesn't answer. She just sat there looking at the dwikkoji.
Why does he have this anyway? Is this a gift for someone?
"Is the 4th prince seeing someone?" Ha Jin voices her thoughts.
Chae Ryung thinks back to all the gossips she had heard about the 4th prince, "As far as I've heard, none but I can't be sure. He had been staying in Shinju since he was a kid and only comes in the palace every now and then. No one knows anything about him. Wae-yo?"
"Kue-nyang, forget I ask." Ha Jin puts down the dwikkoji in her vanity table.
I should give it back but how?
"Agassi, May I ask?" Chae Ryung starts, reluctant to say something. She unties the orange ribbon in Hae Soo's hair, taking the time to smoothen it so the last layer of it isn't showing.
"Hmmm…?" Ha Jin nods encouraging Chae Ryung.
"Are you interested with the 4th prince now? You seem to be asking a lot about him lately. Don't you like the 14th prince anymore?" Chae Ryung asks curious.
"Mwo?! A-ni-yo. Why would you say that?" Ha Jin denies it quickly. Too quickly, her guard is up.
I'm just curious. Is it wrong to be curious about him?
Chae Ryung wants to bring-up the night she had walk-in with the 4th prince inside Hae Soo's room but she thinks that would be too rude. "So you still like the 14th prince? You do know they're full brothers right?"
What do Hae Soo and Jung have anyway?
"Chae Ryung-ah, does the 14th prince and Hae Soo had a relationship? I mean did we…?" Ha Jin stops mid sentence, confused as to what does she really want to ask.
"Did you what, Agassi? See him secretly?" Chae Ryung answers, "You did see him a few times at the pavilion at night."
"And?" What Ha Jin really wants to ask is if Jung and Hae Soo ever shared a kiss because that would make their relationship intimate. It would be a lot harder to end it if the relationship is that deep already.
This is the 9th century, people don't just date and not end up marrying each other unless their families and social statuses forbid it.
"Mol-la-yo (I Don't know), you were always too embarrassed to tell me everything you've talked about or did with the 14th prince." Chae Ryung explains.
"But Hae Soo is a proper lady right? I mean I am a proper lady before, I mean until now." Ha Jin is having a hard time explaining what she wants to ask.
Chae Ryung laughs, finding Hae Soo's question strange and amusing, "Yie agassi, you were a proper lady before. Though I don't think you are now."
"Ya, Chae Ryung-ah!" Ha Jin ends up laughing with Chae Ryung.
"But you did asked me to braid a few of your hair and cut it. You were thinking of giving it to the 14th prince before he left." Chae Ryung smoothens Hae Soo's hair out of habit.
"Mwo?! (what?!)" Hae Soo scrambles to touch her hair.
Chae Ryung parts her hair at the back and guides Hae Soo's hand into it. She wasn't neglecting Hae Soo's hair all this time. Hae Soo had asked her to always let her hair down and only style the first layer of it so the abruptly cut hair wouldn't show.
"I gave it to Jung? I mean the 14th prince?" Ha Jin asks too surprise.
Chae Ryung nods, "I think so, you said you were going to hand it to him as a present."
Shoot! What did they promised each other?
Ha Jin feels the worst. She doesn't know what Hae Soo and Jung promised each other but she suspects it isn't just a simple promise.
"Eii do you still not remembering anything?" Chae Ryung puts her hands on her lady's shoulders.
"I don't remember anything at all. Mi-an-hae-yo." Ha Jin answers, sadly.
"Gwaen-chanh-a-yo (it's alright). I think everyone is used to you not remembering anything, anyway." Chae Ryung tries to assure Hae Soo.
50 years. I would be here for 50 years. That's a long time to use the excuse "I don't remember."
So walks back to his quarters angry. He shuts his door and lays on the floor. A few hours later when he was sure that every visitor had gone home or all the residents of their household is asleep, he opens his door and walks to his foyer. Getting some air as he pushes his brain to think. From a far he can see someone standing in front of a prayer tower, lighting a candle.
Ha Jin stands in front of one of stone prayer towers, putting her hands together to pray.
"Eomma, you must have been looking for me by now. I'm sorry that I'm making you worry. I wish you'd come and pick me up here but I guess I'm too far away to be reached. I have an unnie here who takes care of me. Myung Hee unnie is really kind but it's not the same with you. I really miss you." Ha Jin sniffs as she holds her tears,
"Eomma I feel like I'm becoming a burden to people around me. My mere presence here changes a lot and I'm scared that I won't be able to live-up to everyone's expectation. Kuende I would be staying here for a long time from now on so I have to start being mindful of others. Eomma please sleep well and know that I am alright. I'll try to live this life as best as I can from now on."
"Eomma?" So stands behind Hae Soo, a few meters away. He had been listening to Hae Soo's prayer from the beginning.
"Eh kam-jjak-ya! (you've surprised me!)" Ha Jin jumps on her feet.
"You don't have a mother, who are you praying to?" So asks, a little annoyed, still angry from his confrontation with Yo a while go.
Ha Jin closes her eyes, takes a deep breathe and finishes her prayer in her head.
"Must you really state the obvious? Yes, I don't have my mother here. Thank you for being so sensitive." Ha Jin's annoyance peaks at a high level. "Why do you always start our conversation with annoying me?"
Ha Jin crosses her arms in front of her and walks away. So grabs her right arm as she leaves, surprise of Hae Soo's temper. He pulls her closer, looking at her irritated. He can't believe his brother is using this girl against him. Ha Jin returns his gaze, unmovable, annoyance evident in her eyes.
"If you've made a decision to live here then stay here. Stop thinking about running away or leaving." So tells her pertaining to her idea of running away a while ago at the dinner.
He finds the idea of Hae Soo disappearing, somehow maddening. He can't understand why he doesn't like it but he's not good with words so he doesn't know how to tell her that. Besides he can't trust that she won't leave him too. Everyone leaves in the end.
"Why do you keep asking for your mother? Even at the face of death, you kept calling for her. She can't save you, no one can." So needs Hae Soo to understand that this life she's choosing to live isn't a fairy tale. She can't wait for people to save her. She needs to learn to protect her self on her own so she won't need anyone.
"Keu-re! (you're right!) I can't wait for anyone to save me and yes my mother wasn't there to save me too but she would have save me if she had known I was in danger. She would have exchanged her life with mine because that is what a mother's love is, unconditional and forgiving. No matter how irritating their children are, no matter how much stranger their kids become to them, no matter how worst their kids turn out, their love for their children will never change." Ha Jin pushes So away and in a little voice she say "at least my mother is."
Ha Jin's description of her mother is what So wants badly from his own mother. He had been putting off making a decision to choose between his birth mother and his half brother, Mu, because he wanted to choose his birth mother from the beginning but his morals is telling him that his mother is wrong.
So looks at Hae Soo, making a decision to choose his mother. He thinks he should give his mother another chance to right her mistake and maybe this way she'll see him in a different light. Maybe his mother just needs to confirm his loyalty to her before she can accept him back in her arms. He firmly believes that his mother loves him the way Hae Soo describes her mother's love for her.
Ha Jin and So stood quietly for a long time. Hae Soo watches So. She can see him making up his mind over something but she doesn't know what it is. She can feel the exhaustion of today's activities catching up with her but she waits for him anyway.
When So finally looks up at Hae Soo, Ha Jin decides to give him a smile, thinking that maybe the 4th prince only needed to talk to someone about something but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. Hae Soo's smile catches So off guard, confusing him.
"Kue-reom, if we're done talking I'll go back to my quarters now. An-nyeong-i chu-mu-sib-si-yo (Have a goodnight then.)" Ha Jin greets the 4th prince goodnight in cheondemal.
As Ha Jin turns to leave, So tells her, "Stay."
"Hmmm?" Ha Jin stops.
So asks Hae Soo to stay with him for a bit.
Ha Jin sits on the one-meter elevated foyer of the hanok in front of the prayer tower while So stands beside her, leaning at the elevated foyer. So's eye level comes up to Hae Soo's neck.
"When are you leaving for the temples in the mountains?" So asks curious.
"Hmmmm… Mol-la-yo (I don't know) Maybe in a few days? Wae? Do you want to come with us too?" Ha Jin makes a joke about it again.
"A-ni-yo, I have other important matters to do too." So explains, "How long will you be staying there?"
"The 8th prince said, probably two days since the ride is a little bumpy, we'll get to rest more if we stay over night." Ha Jin answers.
"Stay close to them. I'm sure three of my brothers are enough to protect you and please lock your door when you sleep." So reprimands Hae Soo like a kid.
So is not comfortable with Hae Soo disappearing for a few days. He'd rather she stay close where he can watch her but if it would help with her health, he thinks he's alright with it.
"Ne, ne, you are such a nag So hwangjanim. What's with my locking of my door anyway?" Ha Jin asks curious.
So freezes, catching him self, making a mistake. He was thinking about those times he had sneak inside her room to check on her and Hae Soo had somehow ended up clinging on him unconsciously. The thought that Hae Soo can share that experience to any of his brother makes So angry and he doesn't know why.
"Kue-nyang, you'll be sleeping in a different household, you shouldn't be comfortable having your room open to others. Besides it's a temple, ladies and men are not allowed to share a room. Not even married ones." So explains frustrated.
"Ah you mean I might share a room with one of your brothers?" Ha Jin laughs at the ridiculousness of the thought. "What am I 16?"
So suddenly stands in front of Hae Soo and grabs both of her arms. "Ya! I just told you to lock your door and you're talking about sharing a room with one of my brothers?! Mi-cheoss-eo?! (Have you gone mad?!)."
The sudden grabbing of So, surprises Hae Soo but since she was just joking about it she fails to see the jealousy bordering on possessiveness on So's eyes.
"A-ra-seo, a-ra-seo. (alright, alright)" Ha Jin pushes So's hand away, dismissing him. "I'll lock my door. I was just joking. Why are you being serious about it?"
"Keu-nyang." So calms him self, going back to his position of standing beside Hae Soo. "You are 16, at the prime age of marriage, please don't be so reckless in giving away your affection."
That's the second time I've been reprimanded for being affectionate. Is't so wrong?
Ha Jin just shrugs. It's her affection, she'll give it to anyone she wants too and no one can tell her otherwise. So looks at Hae Soo, his eyes at the level of her neck. He notices the cloth around it,
"How is the wound in your neck? Was it that deep?" So wanted to touch it but stops his self.
Ha Jin touches her neck, an action she had been doing quite a lot lately it became a habit every time someone mentions it, "It's not that deep, it's a little healed but Chae Ryung insisted on putting a cloth on it to protect it from dust."
"You should put an ointment on it so it wouldn't scar." So tells Hae Soo worried.
Ha Jin laughs a little, "That's the second time someone told me that. Why is everyone worried about it? It's just a scar. It won't kill me."
They both stop, frozen at Ha Jin's words. Ha Jin catches her self making a mistake of dismissing the scar when the 4th prince beside him had been defined by his scar his whole life.
It's So's first time to meet someone who doesn't care about a scar.
"Hwangjanim choe-song-hae-yo, cheong-mal (I'm sorry, seriously sorry). I didn't mean… it that way… I mean… choe-song-hab-ni-da." Ha Jin apologizes profusely.
"You don't care about a scar. Is that why you were never scared of me?" So asks in a serious tone.
"Do you want me to be scared of you?" Ha Jin tries hard not to fidget, afraid of offending So.
The air around them suddenly becomes too warm. So looks up at Hae Soo as Hae Soo lifts her eyes to look at him too. Each of them can feel their heart beating fast in their chest. Ha Jin looks at So's lips, remembering what they had shared under the water. She unconsciously chews her lower lip, drawing So to it.
"A-ni-yo, I don't ever want you to be scared of me." So looks at Hae Soo, really look at her. His honesty is too raw, it's making Ha Jin's cheeks bloom in red.
Ha Jin breaks their gazes first, unable to stand the tension in between them.
"Kue-reom, I will never be scared of you again. You can't take that back later alright?! You can't regret saying that" Ha Jin tries to make a joke out of it, dismissing the tension between them.
"I will never take it back if you promise never to run away from me." So smiles a light genuine smile.
"Why would I run away from you?" Ha Jin laughs, touching her left arm to So's right shoulders.
Though Ha Jin is making a joke about it, the promise somehow feels too heavy. Ha Jin wonders if she's making the right decision. She glances back at So, wanting to thank him for saving her life under the water but she had missed her chance already.
I guess I'll thank him later when I don't think about it as a k… anymore.
Even in thought Ha Jin can't complete the word 'kiss'. It feels too intimate.
Maybe I'm the only one who thinks about it that way.
A few days later, at the courtyard near the main gate, Ha Jin stands excitedly patting a brown horse in front of her. Standing beside her is Myung Hee and surrounding her at her back is Baek-Ah and Jung, arranging a few of their things at their own horse. Wook walks toward them with Yeonhwa beside him and a servant behind him, leading two more horses. They are getting ready to leave for the temple.
Ha Jin and Myung Hee are wearing a paji underneath their long jeogori for horseback riding. It's Ha Jin's first time to wear a paji in this period and it feels comfortable for her. On top of their hanboks are thick coats to protect them from the cold.
Wook greets everyone as everyone bows to return his greeting. He and Yeonhwa approach the two ladies in his right as Baek-Ah and Jung walk towards the two ladies. Gathering around.
"How are you both today? I hope you've prepared well for this trip." Wook greets Hae Soo and Myung Hee. "It's quite a long ride but you'd be able to rest at the temple once we get there."
"Yie your highness, we'll enjoy ourselves." Myung Hee answers, smiling.
"Please take care of yourselves, the servants have prepared provisions at the back of your horses should you get hungry." Yeonhwa politely smiles at everyone, "Hae Soo Ssi, please get enough rest while you are at the temple. I'm sure meditating in the mountains would help with your mind and body."
"Yie, Princess Yeonhwa, kam-sa-hab-ni-da for worrying about my health." Ha Jin awkwardly returns Yeonhwa's smile, not sure why Yeonwha is addressing her at the moment.
"Ja! Shall we go?" Wook announces.
Everyone nods and walks to there own horses. Yeonhwa stands a few meters from them, giving them space for their horses to pass. Ha Jin was left standing in front of the brown horse she was patting. She watches everyone looking awkward.
As every one mounts their horses, Ha Jin fidgets in her feet, lost. She had never ridden a horse before. She was too excited with the trip that she had forgotten to ask how would they get there. A few more minutes and everyone finally notice that Hae Soo isn't mounting her own horse.
So passes at that moment going to the main gate where a horse is waiting for him too.
"Orabeonim, eo-di ka-yo? (Where are you going?)" Yeonhwa calls out to So and bows in greetings.
So stops in front of Yeonhwa and bows to greet her and the others who are in the horses excluding Hae Soo in the ground. Ha Jin didn't miss it.
Eoh?! Why does he always ignore me in front of other people?
"Hae Soo-ya, is there something wrong?" Wook asks watching Hae Soo.
Ha Jin looks at the direction of Wook and smiles awkwardly, embarrassed. Everyone is watching Hae Soo, waiting for her to answer but she doesn't know how would she tell them that she doesn't know how to ride a horse.
"You don't know how to ride, do you?" Yeonhwa asks, voicing everyone's thought.
Ha Jin tries to hide her embarrassment by smiling widely.
"But you came here through a horse right?" Jung points out.
Ha Jin can only fidget in her feet, looking in the ground.
"Of course she doesn't remember." Yeonhwa smiles her arrogant smile.
Wook, Baek-Ah and Jung alight their horses and walk towards Hae Soo. Myung Hee is confused; Hae Soo and her had been thought to ride the horse since they were kids. Hae Soo isn't as good as her but she can ride the horse just fine.
Wook, Baek-Ah and Jung reach out to take Hae Soo by the wrist all at the same time. Jung got to Hae Soo's right wrist first because Baek-Ah made it look like he was reaching at Hae Soo but actually just move to thwart Wook's hand.
"I'll take you with me then." Jung tells Hae Soo smiling.
Ha Jin looks up at Jung as Jung takes her by the wrist. Baek-Ah moves to stand in between Wook and Jung with Hae Soo.
"Kue-re Jung-ah would take Hae Soo, I'm sure our little Hae Soo wouldn't want to burden you with being unable to ride a horse when you were kind enough to arrange everything for her already." Baek-Ah smiles, his most charming smile towards Wook, letting Jung take Hae Soo with him.
Wook looks at Baek-Ah surprised but is careful to not show it. He feels something amiss with Baek-Ah but he lets it go since everyone is watching them.
"Hae Soo is not a burden to me." Wook politely smiles, hiding his irritation.
Baek-Ah returns the smile innocently. They both return to their horses afterwards.
So observes Jung as Jung takes Hae Soo by the wrist and pulls her with him and stops in front of his horse. Ha Jin looks at the horse, contemplating how to mount it. Jung holds her on both side of her waist and suddenly hoisted her up in the horse easily. The action flusters Ha Jin so she had instinctively puts both of her hands over Jung's upper arm to hold on to him. She now sits with both of her legs at the right side of the horse. Jung climbs beside her, putting both of his arms around her to hold the reigns.
"Are you comfortable Hae Soo-ya?" Jung asks, putting the hood of Hae Soo's coat over her head.
Ha Jin nods, a light smile on her face as she adjusts her body's angle to face front. She can feel Jung behind her warm and solid.
A little annoyance passes at So's eyes. He walks away not wanting to watch anymore.
"Orabeonim, are you going to the palace? Can I come with you? I'm visiting eomonim too."
Yeonhwa bows to the leaving party and walks with So at the main gate where a palaquin is waiting for her.
After checking with everyone, Wook leads the party out with Myung Hee beside him while Jung and Baek-Ah follows behind.
So refuses to glance at Hae Soo as they pass by him while Ha Jin looks at him wondering why he kept pretending he doesn't see her. To Ha Jin's annoyance, So helps Yeonhwa into the palanquin.
They ride fast through the city but slowed down in the middle of the forest below Mt Songak. The forest had turned to the warm color of autumn mostly green, yellow, brown and red. With a few rays of sunlight penetrating the thick forest, Ha Jin marvels at the play of light and beauty of the scenery.
Jung and Baek-Ah rides in front now, while Myung Hee and Wook are contented to watch over the three.
"Wah a-reum-dap-da! (It's beautiful!)." Ha Jin exclaims raising her hand to play with the sun's rays as they pass through it.
"I'm glad you're enjoying the scenery." Jung smiles, slowing his horse to a walk to let Hae Soo marvels.
"Hae Soo-ya, let us know if you get tired, so we could take a rest." Myung Hee calls to Hae Soo.
"I'm alright unnie, go-cheong ha-ji ma-se-yo. (Please don't worry)." Ha Jin answers without glancing at Myung Hee, busy filling her eyes with the sight of the forest.
"Our little Hae Soo doesn't really like riding the horse but I'm glad that she's enjoying it now." Myung Hee tells Wook who rides beside her.
"I guess it's one of the things we need to teach her again. It seems she really don't remember anything even after the second time she drowns." Wook answers looking at Hae Soo.
"Hwangjanim choe-song-hae-yo (I'm sorry your highness), It seems our little Hae Soo would need to start from the beginning again." Myung Hee apologizes for Hae Soo's short-comings.
"A-nim-ni-da, I wasn't really expecting who would come back to us after her second drowning but I'm glad that this is the girl that came back. I have come to like this new Hae Soo. She might not remember anything but she makes it up with her cheerfulness and bright attitude. She makes everyone happy around her." Wook answers with all honesty.
After almost losing Hae Soo at the cliff, Wook had resolve to explore whatever it is he is feeling for Hae Soo. Myung Hee slows her horse down to create a wider distance from the three. She doesn't know what to think about the 8th prince's answer.
"Does she make you happy?" Myung Hee is nervous to hear the answer to that.
Wook nods, "My household responsibilities don't end in our household Myung Hee-ya. As a prince, the subjects of our country are also my responsibilities. A lot of people come to me to unload their burdens and it becomes grueling at some point. But Hae Soo, she's different. She tries hard not to ask for my help even when I readily want to give it to her. I find myself drawn to protect her at all times but she easily dismisses my offer. Mi-an-hae-yo Myung Hee-ya."
Myung Hee isn't sure what the 8th prince is apologizing for. Somehow she doesn't want to confirm it but it seems her prince is harboring more than fondness for her Hae Soo. She clasps at her chest, feeling the familiar pain that doesn't have anything to do with her physical health.
"A-nim-ni-da hwangjanim, I am glad that our Hae Soo brings you joy." Myung Hee politely answers.
Baek-Ah who is riding at the middle of Jung and Wook can hear few of the words that Myung Hee and Wook are exchanging. He wants to look back at Myung Hee and ride beside her, to give her comfort but that would only alert the two of them that he is listening to their conversation. Baek-Ah's hold in his reigns tightens, annoyance coursing in his head. He rides closer beside Jung.
"Hae Soo-ya, do you want to have fun?" Baek-Ah asks not wanting for Hae Soo to hear Myung Hee and Wook's conversation.
"Wae-yo? What do you have in mind?" Hae Soo asks unconscious of the conversation happening behind her.
Baek-Ah and Jung exchange mischievous looks. Jung arranges Hae Soo's coat around her, making sure that she's warm.
"Race you up to the spring near the waterfalls! (1)" Baek-Ah shouts, hitting his own horse to make it run.
"Ya! hyungnim! Not fair." Jung hits his horse by the rear to urge it to go fast. He tightens his hold on Hae Soo and together they race to catch up with Baek-Ah.
Hae Soo was surprised by the sudden change in their pace but she laughs nonetheless, enjoying the race with Jung.
Myung Hee and Wook's conversation gets interrupted by Baek-Ah and Jung's racing each other.
"Jung-ah, be careful with the lady." Wook shouts after Jung, urging his horse to go faster too but then he remembers Lady Myung Hee beside him and he slows down, torn between going after Jung or staying beside Myung Hee.
Myung Hee pushes her own horse to run, embarrassed to be holding the 8th prince back. Jung and Baek-Ah disappears far ahead into the forest and Wook could only trust them to take care of Hae Soo.
Far ahead Baek-Ah turns on a different path hiding his horse on a big rock and thick trees, letting Jung pass him unnoticed. When he was sure that Jung is far and that Wook and Myung Hee is coming, he comes out of his hiding and pretends to be beaten by Jung. He slows down, slowing Myung Hee and Wook too.
Jung and Hae Soo arrive at the stream laughing and enjoying their selves. Ha Jin loved the feel of cold air on her face and the rush of adrenaline that came with riding fast. Jung pulls back the hood in Hae Soo's head revealing the parted hair behind her back. He smiles as he sees that underneath Hae Soo's long trestle are strands of hair that seemingly look like it was cut abruptly short. Jung alights their horse and helps Hae Soo down.
"Let's wait for them here." Jung tells Hae Soo as he puts her down.
"Keu-reol-kka? (Shall we?)" Ha Jin smiles looking around.
Ha Jin runs to the edge of the stream to feel the water. Jung follows behind watching Hae Soo's every move.
"Wah! Chu-weo! (It's cold!)" Ha Jin dips her hand to the water and shakes.
She stands and puts her right foot on a solid rock above a water to go further. As she takes her left foot to step next on the nearest stone, she slips. Jung runs to catch her, encircling his arms around her waist and pulling her to him. Ha Jin instinctively grabs at Jung's arms to find her balance.
"Gwaen-chanh-a? (Are you alright?)" Jung asks still holding Hae Soo.
"Ah ne, kam-sa-hab-ni-da hwangjanim (thank you your highness)" Ha Jin thanks the 14th prince as she steps backward and removes her arms from Jung.
They stand awkwardly for a few bits as Jung waits for Hae Soo to say something but Ha Jin doesn't know what to say other than thank you. She turns her back at him unable to stand seeing the longing on Jung's eyes.
"Gi-eok-i an na-yo. (I don't remember.)" Ha Jin shuts her eyes, feeling the burden of what she has to do.
"A-ra-yo. (I know.)" Jung answers, just watching Hae Soo.
"Gi-eok-hal su eops-eul geot kath-a. (I don't think I would ever remember.)" Ha Jin tries to explain the finality of not being able to reciprocate the feeling because she will never be Hae Soo no matter what.
"Nan sang-gwan eops-eo-yo. (I don't care.)" Jung stands nearer behind Hae Soo, his hands balled in an effort to stop his self from putting his arms around her.
"Jung-ah," Ha Jin dares to address him informally to let him know that she and his Hae Soo is not the same.
She can't exactly tell him she's not Hae Soo but she hopes he understands the difference between her and the girl he longs for. Jung steps closer more behind Hae Soo's back. He bows his head an inch away at Hae Soo's back neck and shakily puts his hands on both of Hae Soo's arm, touching her but still maintaining a respectful space between them.
"I-je keu-man, je-bal. (Enough, please stop.) I know it is not my place to take you right now nor can I promise you anything at the moment. I am not a crown prince like my brother, Mu nor am I as powerful as my 3rd brother, Yo. I may not even sit on that throne. I am just a mere prince with only a title in my name but I promise I will come back for you when I gain enough power to protect you. Kue-reo-ni-kka, jo-geum-man deo gi-da-ri-se-yo (So please, just wait a little bit longer.)" Jung holds on to Hae Soo, with so much pleading and tenderness in his voice.
Ha Jin couldn't bring herself to answer. She can feel Jung shaking behind her. Her heart breaks for every pleading word that Jung utters. What she wouldn't give to be Hae Soo right now but she just isn't.
Time stops between them. Ha Jin doesn't know how long did they stay like that but she waits for Jung to be all right.
Not far away, they can hear Wook, Myung Hee and Baek-Ah coming closer. Baek-Ah made sure to make his horse create a loud sound so Jung would be alerted. Jung releases Hae Soo at Baek-Ah arrival. They both greet each other while Jung mounts his horse. He walks his horse closer to Baek-Ah and whisper something at him. Baek-Ah nods. Jung leaves giving his greetings as Wook and Myung Hee arrive. Ha Jin turns to greet the three like nothing happened. Baek-Ah takes her with him on his horse. She'll be riding with Baek-Ah from now on since Jung is returning to the palace already.
As So climbs the stairs of the sky tower, he can hear Mu and Ji Mong discussing about a certain group of monks in a monastery whose description matches the assassin that were sent to the palace. So freezes on his track listening. He turns back not hearing the end of discussion. He hurries to find his brother Yo, intending to help him clean out his mess.
Wook's party reach the Buddhist temple at the mountaintop around late afternoon, Baek-Ah can feel Hae Soo shaking in front of him so he arranges her coat around her and puts on her hood for her, noticing the abruptly cut hair underneath her long hair. They pass the Sacheonwangmun (2) and stops at the courtyard in front of a jonggo (bell tower). The four of them alight their horses. Baek-Ah helps Hae Soo go down from their horse.
Myung Hee walks to Hae Soo but the long ride going to the temple had taken toll on her body so she feels weak and a little dizzy. Wook leaves the reigns of his horse and walk over where Myung Hee is asking if she's all right. Myung Hee smiles and dismisses it, saying that her legs must have slept on their own because of the long ride. Baek-Ah and Hae Soo approaches Wook and Myung Hee instead, worried about her health.
"Gwae-chanh-a, it's just the long ride. Don't worry after I take some rest, I'll be fine." Myung Hee assures everyone as Hae Soo supports her.
"Keu-reom unnie, why don't you ride with the 8th prince when we go back, that way you won't be too tired from the trip." Ha Jin tells Myung Hee while she looks at the 8th prince.
"Ne, Myung Hee-ya, I'll take you to ride with me when we go back. Let's just send a servant to pick-up your horse here." Wook answers for Myung Hee, assuring the two ladies.
As the four of them walk toward the Daeungjeon (main shrine hall) a monk approaches and greets them. Apparently this temple is owned and maintained by the Hwangbo clan, Wook's mother side. The temple was cleared of visitors for their arrival.
The monk assists them inside the temple and shows them to their quarters afterwards. Myung Hee and Hae Soo's room are on the north side of the temples while the quarters for men are at the west.
The four dines at the dining quarters of the temple, eating fruits and vegetables produced at the backyard of the temple. Myung Hee sits beside Wook, while Baek-Ah and Hae Soo sit together in front of her.
"Have you thought of what you want to study?" Myung Hee asks in between putting seasoned radish on her bowl of rice.
"Hmmmm…" Ha Jin looks up, with her chopsticks still in her lips.
Ha Jin gives it a thought for a minute. Studying is her first priority but she doesn't know what would she be studying. It's not like there are formal universities for girls in this period. Well, there are those who trained to become uinyeo, women doctors for royal families but those were only for slave girls. There are also those Gungnyeo, court ladies. The position is open even to noble ladies but no one of noble birth would volunteer to become a Gungnyeo since they are literally palace maids. Though there are rankings for Gungnyeo and it's a well-respected position in the palace with a decent salary, the king owns every Gungnyeo. They are not free to own anything, go out of the palace or marry of their own accord, unless they attain the highest position of sanggung, royal concubine of the king or the king favors them enough to free them. There are cases where a sanggung is not a royal concubine but just a favored lady of the court. A sanggung is sometimes hired to take apprentices from noble families to teach them of the ways of the royal court.
Heol! Is the only occupation for noble ladies during this time are housewives? Why did I have to be stucked in this period?
At least women here have more or less equal rights with men compared to Joseon.
"Ah, sol-chik-hi mo-reu-gess-seub-ni-da. (I honestly don't know.)" Ha Jin answers in a small voice "Perhaps reading and writing first?"
Ha Jin smiles awkwardly.
"Kue-reom, ilg-go sseu-da (alright, reading and writing then.)" Wook smiles, amused of Hae Soo's answer. "Kuen-de is it alright if you start learning reading and writing from me first? I know the seja had asked you to join my 4th brother with his studies but So hyungnim is studying advance politics and social economics at the moment, pretty soon he's going to join us in our studies too after he catches up. What his studying might not be to your liking."
Myung Hee and Wook had talked about Hae Soo's studies the night after their dinner where Hae Soo had admitted that she doesn't remember being able to read and write. Myung Hee was embarrassed for her Hae Soo but Wook had assured her it's fine. Hae Soo wanted to study again anyway.
They both agreed to not let Hae Soo enter the palace as much as they can since Myung Hee doesn't want Hae Soo to get entangled in any palace politics. Hae Soo had already drawn too much attention from the princes. Even the seja had taken interest on her too. It is better to keep her at home, away from the observing eyes of royal officials and the king.
Ha Jin thinks about it, nodding thoughtfully. She doesn't find anything wrong with studying under the 8th prince, although she admits it's a little embarrassing.
"Kue-reom gong-bu reul yeol-sim-hi hal ke-yo. (I'll be sure to study hard then!)" Ha Jin answers.
Baek-Ah quietly watches the exchange in front of him. He'd rather teach Hae Soo by himself instead of leaving Hae Soo under the care of his 8th brother but speaking in front of him now and going against what Myung Hee and Wook had talked about would be disrespectful to both of them. He needs to find a way to take Hae Soo away from Wook.
Yo and So races with time as they ride leaving Songak to the mountains of Sariwon (3), where the Songbulsa temple is located. It is one of the Buddhist monasteries that the Chungju Yu clan maintains. It houses fallen monks who are skilled in martial arts and had taken the vow of silence to atone for their fallen ways.
It would take one full day to get to the temple and since they left around the afternoon, they would have to spend the night in the woods and ride again to the tops of the mountain in the morning.
"So-ya ko-map-seub-ni-da. (thank you). I never thought you'd pick us over your loyalty to the seja." Yo tells So, sincere with his words.
There are moments when Yo goes back to their childhood and misses their happy simple lives, those times when their mother's greed hadn't corrupted them yet.
So doesn't say anything in reply to his brother. They don't have plans other than getting rid of any witnesses who might speak of the plan and lead back to their mother. He'll think about the consequence later after the deed is done.
Ha Jin had taken a lantern with her and walks near the cliff at the west side of the temple's courtyard. The whole place is too dark tonight because the new moon can't be seen anywhere. The mist had settled on the ground and the cold wind is starting to bite. She walks carefully testing her every step, curious to see what's behind the mist or how far the drop in the cliff is. She brings her lantern in front of her to cast a light meter ahead of her.
Baek-Ah was walking beside their sleeping quarters unable to sleep when he sees Hae Soo, standing near the cliff. He quickly runs to her thinking that she's doing something stupid again. He grabs her by the waist and pulls her back.
"What is wrong with you?!" Baek-Ah shouts at her.
Surprised of someone suddenly grabbing her, Ha Jin was about to scream when she recognized Baek-Ah's voice.
"Oh Baek-Ah hwangjanim?" Ha Jin asks, confused.
Still holding Hae Soo by the waist, Baek-Ah drags her away from the cliff and deposits her between the trees at the forest beside the cliff.
"Why do you keep doing this?! Dont you know how worried everyone is for you especially Myung Hee? Is your life so hard that you keep throwing it away?!" Baek-Ah shouts at Hae Soo, unable to control his anger.
His anxiety peaking at the thought that Hae Soo has really been trying to kill herself for the past few months that's why she keeps drowning.
"What are you talking about Baek-Ah hwangjanim?" With only a dim light coming from her lantern, Ha Jin fails to see the seriousness on Baek-Ah's face.
Baek-Ah pulls Hae Soo to an embrace and in a gentle voice he tries to communicate to Hae Soo his concern, "If you're having a hard time you can always tell it to me. Please don't run away or hurt yourself again."
"Ei hwangjanim, when did I ever run away or hurt myself?" Ha Jin asks, lost.
Baek-Ah breaks their embrace and holds Hae Soo in front of him, looking at her, "You weren't trying to jump off the cliff?"
"Mwo? (what?!) Why would I jump off the cliff?" Ha Jin couldn't believe the ridiculousness of Baek-Ah's thoughts, she couldn't help but laugh. "I've just survived drowning a second time, I don't think I would ever want to jump off a cliff again."
Ha Jin doubles over, holding her stomach, laughing hard. Baek-Ah watches her confused.
"I was trying to see the scenery." Ha Jin continues laughing.
"Ya! Who tries to see the scenery at this kind of darkness?! Have you gone mad?! I was really worried. Stop laughing!" Baek-Ah turns red in embarrassment. He pulls Hae Soo to an embrace again, releasing a sigh, finally at ease to know that everything Hae Soo had gone through was just an accident and not because Hae Soo is trying to kill herself.
"A-ra-seo, a-ra-seo (Alright, alright!) Why is everyone so touchy about this." Ha Jin pushes Baek-Ah away, joking.
Baek-Ah tightens his hold on Hae Soo, bordering on suffocating her, irritated that she keeps laughing at his worry.
"I can't breathe!" Ha Jin pushes on Baek-Ah again.
Baek-Ah laughs this time and releases Hae Soo. They sit a little further inside the forest, in between trees that protect them from the cold wind. Ha Jin bends both of her legs and hugs her kness. Her lantern is beside Baek-Ah who sits with his arms loosely holding both of his bend legs in front of him.
"So just to be clear, you weren't trying to kill your self on both times that you drowned?" Baek-Ah clears the rumours once and for all.
"No, of course not! Why would I?" Ha Jin smiles, looking far ahead.
"You know you can always tell me anything right? So if you're having a hard time, I'll always be here to listen." Baek-Ah assures Hae Soo.
"Cheongmal? (Really?). Don't promise me that, I might just take you on it." Ha Jin answers, seriously wanting to have a friend to talk to.
Baek-Ah laughs, "Keu-reom-yo! (of course!) Don't worry a prince never kiss and tell."
They both laugh at Baek-ah's joke. Ha Jin had always been comfortable with Baek-Ah and Jung until she found out that Jung and Hae Soo had something that resembles a kind of relationship.
"And you can address me informally when it's just us. Forget about my being prince. I won't sit on the throne anyway. So you can just be comfortable with me." Baek-Ah glances at Hae Soo,
"Baek-ah-ya then. Baek-Ah oreabeonim? Baek-Ah sunbaenim?" Ha Jin tries out different names with him.
"Baek-ah-ya is fine." Baek-ah chooses the most informal name, wanting to establish a closer relationship with Hae Soo.
"Baek-Ah-ya then. Baek-ah-ya!" Ha Jin dares to be informal with Baek-Ah.
Baek Ah laughs enjoying Hae Soo's amusement.
"So is there something you want to tell me?" Baek-Ah asks curious.
"Hmmmm…" Ha Jin thinks thoughtfully, there are many questions he wants to ask Beak-Ah but how to ask him without giving away anything about her.
Baek-Ah patiently waits for Hae Soo sensing her reluctance to ask.
"How do you think I could stop being a burden to my cousin and her household then? I feel like I've been too dependent of Myung Hee unnie and the 8th prince lately that I'm scared they might get fed up of me and send me away." Ha Jin rests her chin on top of her knees, "I keep making mistakes in front of the 8th prince, it's embarrassing and from now on I'll be studying under him too."
Baek-ah laughs at ridiculousness of Hae Soo's thoughts, "Myung Hee would never get tired of taking care of you because she loves you more than anyone else in the world. And my 8th brother..."
Baek-Ah abruptly turns serious, aware of his 8th brother's overly fondness for Hae Soo but he would never tell Hae Soo that. He'd rather let his 8th brother suffer in silence for his fondness for her, always watching her from a far but never being able to fully come to her because of Myung Hee.
"My 8th brother would never send you away. He can't." Baek-Ah settles for a simple answer instead.
"How can you be sure of that? I feel like I've been getting on his nerves lately." Hae Soo answers truthfully, confusing Wook's fondness for her as an admonishment.
"Do you really not know" Baek-Ah looks at Hae Soo, gauging how much she's telling the truth.
"Know what?" Ha Jin looks directly at Baek-Ah's eyes.
After a minute of looking at Hae Soo, Baek-Ah senses that she is telling the truth. She really doesn't know anything.
"My 8th brother can never send you away. Well he can. He has the authority as a prince but he doesn't have the right. The household you're living in is a Hae household not a Hwangbo. It is Myung Hee's household. Your cousin's." Baek-Ah explains it carefully to Hae Soo.
"Jin-jja? (really?) " Ha Jin asked surprised.
Baek-Ah looks at Hae Soo astonished as to how clueless Hae Soo is, "Hae Soo-ya, you really don't have any idea, isn't it? Do you even remember anything? Anything at all about your life here?"
Ha Jin suddenly becomes nervous. She badly wants to at least have one friend with whom she can confide to but she is afraid of what would happen to her if someone finds out that she is not Hae Soo. She chews her lower lip and faces in front.
"Eiii, we're making a progress a while ago. Why are we stopping now?" Baek-Ah bumps his left shoulder to Hae Soo's right shoulder.
"Do you promise not to tell? Ever? You can't, alright?" Ha Jin raises his right hand, showing her pinky finger.
"What's that?" Baek-Ah asks, looking at Hae Soo's raised hand.
"It's a pinky swear between friends. It means you can't break it even in death." Ha Jin takes Baek-Ah's right hand and forces him to do a pinky swear with her.
"Ya! did you just threaten a prince' life?" Baek-Ah jokes around.
Ha Jin looks at him with scary eyes.
"A-ra-seo, a-ra-seo. (alright, alright)" Baek-Ah gives in and makes a promise with Hae Soo seriously.
Ha Jin goes back to resting her chin over her knees, hugging it. "I don't remember. I don't remember anything at all. I don't remember Myung Hee unnie. I don't remember Myung Hee unnie's parents or where we live up north. I don't remember coming to live with my cousin. I don't remember meeting any of you or how my life is before my first drowning. Chae Ryung had basically oriented me on who I am or how I was before my first drowning. Other than that, I have no idea of how our lives are or who I am, what I use to like or what I used to do, including reading and writing."
Ha Jin lies and tells the truth at the same time. It's not that she doesn't remember but that she really doesn't how Hae Soo lived her life before.
Baek-Ah gapes at Hae Soo, dumbfounded. He knew Hae Soo had lost her memories but he doesn't know the extent of how much Hae Soo doesn't remember. He observes her coming to conclusion that she's like a kid, who has no idea of how this world works.
"Then you don't remember Jung at all?" Baek-Ah blurts out the first question that came into his mind.
He didn't mean to ask her out rightly about Jung but he couldn't help it. Baek-Ah had been aware that something is going on between Hae Soo and Jung. He once saw them in the pavilion at night, meeting secretly. They weren't doing any incriminating actions. They were just standing close together, talking but there is something intimate with the way they look at each other while talking.
Before meeting Hae Soo a year ago, Jung was a happy go lucky prince with no direction or goal in life. He and the 10th prince only wanted to live their life outside the responsibilities of the royal palace. Both of them had grown-up spoiled and were carefree.
When Hae Soo arrived at Myung hee's household, nobody paid attention to the shy girl who keeps to herself. He doesn't know exactly how Jung and Hae Soo had come to like each other or secretly meet every once in a while in the pavilion but Jung changed after that. He seemed to have acquired a life goal and was serious with acing their martial arts class. He then kept requesting to their father to be trained by one of his generals. When the king sent him and Jung to the borders up north to learn the situation there and train under a general commanding the province, Jung was excited to go. They were only there for three months, visiting royal storage and learning strategic military planning. Jung never talked about his relationship with Hae Soo but he does talk about Hae Soo every now and then. And just like what Hae Soo did with him a while ago, Jung had made Baek-Ah promise to never tell anyone about Hae Soo or him. He was surprise to know that Jung isn't just a happy go lucky prince who cares about nothing. Jung actually recognized the consequences of his relationship with Hae Soo, should it ever gets out. He knows his mother and the king would never approved of Hae Soo as a first wife. He had also known that he would never get to sit on the throne so he plans to rise in the ranks of the generals so he could gain enough power to marry Hae Soo.
"What about Jung?" Ha Jin pretends she doesn't know anything about Jung and Hae Soo's relationship.
Baek-Ah doesn't know how many times Hae Soo can surprise him during their conversation but he gapes at her again, lost. "Did you tell Jung you don't remember him? Is that why he suddenly left?"
Ha Jin nods, tightening her hold to her knees. "Baek-Ah-ya, do you think Jung hwangja would ever forgive me for not remembering? No, scratch that, I will never remember again. So it's better that we just end it."
"What makes you think you would never remember?" Baek-Ah replies.
Because I am not Hae Soo.
"Because if I would ever remember, then, I would have after my second drowning but I still don't." Ha Jin swallows the lump that is starting to form in her throat.
She takes a deep breath, not wanting to talk about it anymore.
Baek-Ah drops his line of questioning sensing that Hae Soo is becoming too burdened of living to everyone's expectations. "Keu-reom what do you want to do with your life from now on?"
Ha Jin laughs a bitter laugh. "Mol-la-yo (I don't know). Can't I just run away? What does a noble lady does in this period anyway?"
"Myung Hee is trying to find you a suitable husband to marry." Baek-Ah answers.
"Again with the marriage. I'm 16 for crying out loud. Why is everyone in a hurry to marry me off. Am I that much a burden to my cousin?" Ha Jin asks glancing at Baek-Ah.
"A-ni-yo, but you do realize that 16 is a prime age for marriage right? So you should be careful in giving away your affection especially with men. It might lead them on." Baek-Ah explains, trying to tell her subtlely that her misplaced affections could lead to serious consequences.
People might take advantage of it, his brothers included. He feels guilty for teasing Eun to save Hae Soo that time. It was supposed to be just a joke but Eun is now infatuated with her and is seriously considering marrying her. Thanks to his 3rd brother's suggestion. Then there is also his 8th brother who is only holding back because of Myung Hee but truth be told, there is nothing wrong if he takes Hae Soo too. It is not uncommon to marry ladies of the same family to keep the wealth and power to their own. Even the princes marry their own siblings to consolidate the power within the royal family. Baek-Ah wonders how long would it take before Wook gives in to his emotions. If Jung wants to have Hae Soo, he would have to rise in the rankings fast.
Ha Jin laughs a carefree laugh this time, finding Baek-Ah's word ridiculous, "You're the third person to reprimand me for giving away my affection. Is it so wrong? It's an affection, an act of love. It should be freely given to people you care about. Why should I be careful about giving it away?"
"Exactly, it's an act of love so you can't just give it freely to anyone because it can mislead people." Baek-Ah argues.
"An act of love makes a lot of difference in the world. I don't see why it shouldn't be shared?" Ha Jin argues back.
"Hae Soo-ya listen to me, just this once alright. Think about it like an advice from your older brother. I am trying to protect you here. Men, especially, can easily mistake your affection for something deeper than platonic love. You can't touch someone's life and expect it to not change." Baek-Ah tries to convince Hae Soo.
Ha Jin returns to looking in front not convince of Baek-Ah's arguments but she drops it for now, too tired to argue.
That night Ha Jin dreams of the daughter of the moon. She was at the courtyard learning to hold a bow and shoot an arrow. Her uncle's eldest son, her cousin, is teaching her. He holds a thin stick in his hand, hitting her with it every time she makes a mistake.
She rights her stance and draws the bow. Her cousin hits her shoulder with the stick, correcting its angle. She makes face at him and goes back to concentrating. She lets the arrow fly and not only miss her target but she completely missed the whole board.
From the corridor, watching is her uncle and the other prince. Both were amused of her missing her target. Yesterday, the other prince had arrived in their palace to visit and pay respect to her uncle. He would be staying with them for a week, wanting to meet and get to know her. They walk towards her now, smiling to see her working hard to learn archery.
As her cousin is about to hit her with the stick again, the other prince stops her cousin from doing so. He smiles at her cousin, asking him to step away and let him teach her. She was nervous as the other prince positions his self at her back, only a few inches from her. He holds her bow hand and dominant arm and raises it both to the correct angle. They draw the bow together as he whispers the instructions in her ears. He holds their position for a few seconds, measuring the target with his dominant eye. His dominant hand slides a little back from her dominant hand, giving her the illusion of taking control. At his command in her ears, he urges her to release the arrow. It flies straight to the red circle of the board, hitting the target.
A picture for visual purpose only so everyone would be on the same page of what the stream looks like:
1 korea-konsult-ab/image/upload/c_limit,f_auto,q_auto,w_800,dpr_
2 Gate of heavenly four kings and marks the entrance of a temple's boundaries
3 Capital of present day North Hwanghae province. It houses the temple of Songbulsa, built around 898 AD. (Songbulsa temple doesn't house fallen monks, I only used the place for visual reference)
Editor's note:
Hello, first of all, please don't worry about writing me long reviews. All reviews are always welcome :) I love reading all of it and it helps me to track how you guys perceive each chapter and what you expect in the coming chapters.
Second, Jung's character is growing away from what I originally planned for him. Heol! Way to go Jung! He's confusing me now. I feel like he's overtaking Wook's place. lol. I've been experiencing a slumped, writing Wook's character lately and Jung just keeps cropping up.
Everyone's design to possess Hae Soo is unravelling at this point.
