Leaving home
Warmth and skin
Thoughts flickered through My mind as I come closer to consciousness.
I felt sensations, some of which fit with my body's memory of what it felt like to wake up, and some of which did not.
Warm blankets, yes. A soft mattress, the gentle give of springs as I shifted my weight, and a nice cool spot as I moved my cheek and snuggled deeper into my pillow.
That was normal, nice and familiar, and I felt a smile bleed across her lips at the comfort and familiarity of it all.
But other sensations were tugging at my attention, and my sleepy and slow brain didn't quite know what to make of it all.
There was a delicious scent in my nostrils, something almost tangible, and it called to me in a way I didn't even try to understand.
Something moved behind me, the mattress shifting, and my bare back came in contact with something firm and warm, warmer than the blankets I'd cuddled into.
I shifted, leaning into the contact, trying to figure out why I'd gone to bed without my nightgown.
Then the memories of the recent day's event came crashing back.
My eyes shot open.
The morning sun was shining through the window, washing the room in a warm glow.
The next thing that I took notice of was the sharp pain between my legs.
Ouch.
Alice was not lying, it does ache.
I turned to view my still sleeping husband.
My husband.
It still feels foreign on my tongue.
There was a certain calmness to John Jacob Astor when he was asleep, his ageing face lacked the familiar lines of stress.
I watched as my husband's eyes began to flicker before I was greeted by two warm brown pools.
"Good morning wife."
I try to sit up but wince in pain.
"I shall find one of the maids to run you a bath."
John climbs out of bed and picks up his discarded dressing gown.
I can't help but stare at his bare form, well he had his bottoms on.
"Would you ask for Trudy please?"
John places a chaste kiss on my palm.
"Of course dear."
I get butterflies in my stomach at the pet name.
John is swift to exit the room and returned shortly with Trudy.
"Good morning ma'am." Trudy walks into the bathroom to begin running the bath.
John comes to sit on the bed.
"While you are taking a bath I shall dress then we can both go downstairs to join your family for breakfast before we leave."
I almost forgot we are leaving straight after breakfast.
My heart sinks.
I knew my departure was imminent but it doesn't make it easier.
"Miss the bath is ready."
I pull the sheets off of me, uncaring about my modesty, Trudy had seen me undressed before.
I do however take the sheet with me as I enter the bathroom, I don't want to expose my full self.
The warm water caresses my aching body and I sink into the tub.
I grab the soap and begin scrubbing myself, getting all the grime off my body.
I only leave the tub when my fingers begin to prune and the water turns cold.
Trudy is waiting for me.
This morning I choose a lovely cream dress with black detailing and Trudy styles my hair into an up-do.
John returns to the room just as I'm finishing the final touches.
He to had changed into a brand new suit with his signature pocket watch.
"Everything had been loaded up and shall be ready to leave when we are."
"Well, I'm all prepared to leave after breakfast."
"Well then we best be making our way down, your family is already seated."
John and I venture to the breakfast room where like John had said my family were having breakfast.
"Good morning John, good morning Marigold, I imagine you shall you wish to eat before your journey, come sit." My father beckons us.
John leads me to a chair and then takes the one next to me.
We both help ourselves to the variety of options.
"I'm going to miss you marigold, promise you shall visit." Rose pleads.
I give her a warm smile.
"Of course I shall."
"Now rose I imagine Marigold will be very busy." Mother's snide remarks are aimed at me.
She's happy to be rid of me, well the feeling is mutual.
From now on I don't have to endure being belittled by my mother.
Father wasn't very talkative this morning he mostly just kept to himself and ate very little.
"Can I come and visit you?" Rose asked John and me with hope in her voice.
That would make me very happy.
"Of course you.." I'm once again cut on my mother.
"Rose will be very busy."
She will if you should have anything to say about it I seethe.
A hand grabs my balled fist and gently realise my fingers before intertwining our hands.
John runs his thumb along my hand soothing the tension.
I relax.
Breakfast was a quiet affair afterwards while John and I ingested our food.
Once everyone had Finished John grasped my hand and addressed the table.
"Well, we best be getting on our way if we hope to make our train."
"Of course." Mother reply's and excuses herself to firm the table.
I stand on the steps of my childhood home saying dear well to my family, servants are packing the last of our trunks into the second car.
Rose has her arms wrapped around me.
"I'm going to miss you." She whispers.
"You will be fine Rose, remember you can write to me and I am only a train journey away."
"Can't I come with you? Please, you can't leave me here with mother." My heart sinks, if I could I would take her with us, Keep her safe from mother but I can't.
All I can do is hug her tighter.
"Look after father for me, he's going to need you."
"I will, I promise." Rose chokes out
Finally, I realise her and move on to my father.
He is leaning on a cane and his complexion is pale, yet he still finds the energy to smile.
I pretend not to notice the tear that drops from his eye when he brings me into his arms.
"Be happy, my daughter."
He placed a kiss on my forehead.
Mother hadn't come to wish me off, I wasn't sure How I felt about that.
Our relationship was damaged, it would take years if ever to repair the bond, however, she was still my mother, she had given me life, I still have many fond memories of her, the way she would brush my hair as a child or sing me to sleep, these were the memories I held dear to my heart and always will.
"Off you go."
John is already waiting in the Car for me and once I join him we are off.
I watch as my childhood home became's smaller and smaller the further away we travel.
Memories flood through my head.
Memories of myself as a young child running through the halls of the manor rose on my heels, playing hide and seek with my father, sitting in my father's office while he worked just watching him for hours on end.
Soon the house disappeared completely and John grasps my hand his warm one.
"You will love New York, Ava has already asked me if you would like to accompany her shopping sometime."
"You dear friend Helen Rockefeller is the wife of a friend of mine, she offered to take you on a visit to some of the attractions New York had to offer."
I perked up.
At least I still had Helen.
The train station wasn't too full by the time we arrived, the staff that had journeyed with John were already waiting for us.
That included his cook, one kitchenmaid, two housemaids, his Valet, his butler and his housekeeper.
The chauffeur's and Valet began unloading the trunks, while John left me in the capable hands of his household.
"Miss would you like to wear your Coat." The older woman of the two maids asked.
She's holding my travel coat.
"No thank you, but would you keep it on you just in case."
"Of course Miss."
John was quick to return with our tickets.
I assumed the others had already been given theirs.
"They are just beginning to board our train."
The two of us journeyed towards the platform with our suite filling behind us.
Like John said passengers have begun to board the train.
This is where we departed from the staff they went to the lower end of the train whereas we relocated to the front of the train.
"Ticket sir." One of the trainmen asked John.
John passed the tickets over who punched a hole in them.
He let us onto the train.
We passed open seats where passengers were beginning to sit, we passed through double doors until we were in our section of the train.
Unlike the previous carts, this cart had separate compartments with a plush green couch on either side of the compartment.
John pushed open the door and allowed me to pass him.
John shut the door after us.
I took a seat near the window on the left couch and pulled out a book I had brought for the journey.
John decided to sit opposite me, he to had brought entertainment though he was a giant leather book that contained a stack of papers.
John also retrieved a pen.
"What are those?"
"The accounts, boring paperwork."
"How long shall it take to get to New York?"
I ask john.
John took out his pocket watch.
"Around 5 hours so we shall be arriving in the afternoon."
With a whistle, the train began to leave the station.
Not wanting to watch my home town disappearing I open the first page of my book.
The book was called Alice's adventures in wonderland, rose had gifted it to me last year, I never got around to reading it, so I might as well start now.
I spend the next few hours getting lost in the mystical and confusing world of wonderland.
A knock at the door breaks me out of my reading.
I had just reached Chapter 7 and Alice becomes a guest at a "mad" tea party along with the March hare, the Hatter, and a very tired Door-mouse, who falls asleep frequently only to be violently awakened moments later by the March Hare and the Hatter.
It was a trainman.
"Lunch is being served in the dining cart shall I escort you?"
John places his paperwork back into the leather book.
"I could do with a spot of tea, how about you darling."
Now that I think about it I am quite peckish.
I place a stopper on my page and follow John and the trainman to the dining chart.
The trainman leads us to a table with two green armchairs on opposite ends.
A waiter is there to greet us.
"What would you like to drink we have a selection of tea's, coffee or water."
"Coffee for myself, marigold?"
"Tea, please," I answer.
John looks out the window at the scenery that we are passing by.
"What was the book you were reading? You were very invested in it."
"It is about a young girl named Alice who falls through a rabbit hole into a fantasy world populated by peculiar, creatures. There is no logic behind any of it."
The waiter returns with our drinks along with finger sandwiches and cakes.
John and I tuck in.
We continue to make small talk through the majority of lunch.
Once we had Finished john escorted me back to our compartment.
I let out a small yawn.
"Why don't you have a small nap I imagine we shall be arriving in a few hours."
I heed his advice and close my eyes.
I can feel myself drifting...
"Darling."
My shoulders are shaking.
"Darling it's time to wake up, we're here."
Groggily I open my eye's.
Johns's face is right in front of me, his hand on my shoulder.
I get out a yawn and run my eyes before strengthening up.
"Darling were here."
"We are?" My foggy mind still isn't funny awake yet.
John chuckles endearingly.
"Yes, my dear look out the window."
We are pulling into the recently opened Penn station.
So we were.
We were quick to collect what little belongings we had and exit the train.
We waited for the rest of our staff.
Soon we were able to spot the valet and housemaids offloading our luggage.
They were being chaperoned by the butler and housekeeper, the cook and kitchenmaids were carrying their trunks.
Thank goodness we were able to find several luggage trolleys, between us we had johns three trunks, twelve of mine, plus the single trunk of each of the staff that was 22 pieces of luggage.
John gestured to several waiting cars out-front.
We climbed into one and began the journey to Johns townhouse in 840 fifth avenue.
New York was busier than Philadelphia, with hundreds of people on each block, boys were selling newspapers.
It was so loud.
When we finally came to a halt I could only stare in awe.
This was only one of johns home's yet it was more magnificent and grand than my family home could ever be.
The inside was just as impressive.
The walls had dark oak panelling with Accents of gold, hand-woven silk Persian rugs lined the hallways, Oriental Rugs could be found in many of the rooms.
Interact carved tables were decorated with vases of flowers and other items of wealth.
A Beautiful gold mirror hung on the wall opposite a large painting of what I must guess is the Astor family.
I had yet to leave the hallway still simply in awe.
"Let me take you on a tour of the rest of the house."
John grasped my hand and pulled me along.
First was the morning room, which hosted a beautiful grand piano and hand-carved fireplace.
Next was the saloon, it was similar to the Morning room however it boasted a few more armchairs, I take it this was where you would entertain your guests.
We then moved to the drawing-room, which boasted a mahogany desk with a phone and paperwork on top, armchairs, walls lined with bookcases, a drinks cart next to two leather sofas and another fireplace this one wasn't as grand as the previous.
"This is my office, however, you are free to come in and read if you like."
We once again exited the hallway.
John pointed down some stairs.
"Down there you have the kitchens and servants quarters and wine cellar.
He then opened two double doors into a ballroom, it wasn't had big as some other ballrooms I had been in, but then again this was only his townhouse, it's not a place that threw cotillions or galas you saved that for your summer home.
Our next stop was the sunroom which boasted large windows that allowed the sun in, this room had plants placed around the room and in the centre a generously sized table with 4 high back armchairs
The final room on the ground floor was the dining room, once again magnificent, crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling a stunning oak table took the centre surrounded by 16 chairs.
"We only use this room when we are having guests, most dinners and breakfasts are eaten in the sunroom."
Now that we were finished with the first floor John soon me up the majestic wooden staircase to the second floor.
Most of the floor was dedicated to bedrooms.
The house boasted 8 bedrooms John lead me to the furthest one from the stairs.
He allowed me to enter first.
The wall was decorated in a beautiful blue and white wallpaper that depicted large scale parrots and foliage.
A metal bed frame was sat against the wall on the right drapes hung from either side, there was a monogrammed A in the centre of the bed covers along the with pillows, beside the bed on both sides was a small wooden table that held a lamp.
On the far wall sat a table that had two large China bowls and two jugs placed in them, there was also pieces of cloth.
Next to the table was a gigantic wardrobe made from cherry wood, the 8 doors almost took up the entire wall.
A bergère sat at the foot of the bed where there was vanity and chair placed on the wall opposite the bed.
Two large windows covered by cream drapes overlooked the busy street of New York.
There was both a carpet and another ornate rug on the floor.
Wall lights were placed around the room to offer light.
"This is our room," John told me.
Thank you for stating the obvious.
"Now that you've been given a tour, it's time for you to be introduced to your lady's maid."
"My lady's maid?"
I've never had a lady's maid before, rose and I used to share Trudy between the two of us then again We never had the number of staff John did.
We descended the stairs once more and to my surprise, the staff that accompanied us had returned, they were in the process of taking our suitcases to our bedroom.
John stopped before a woman who couldn't have been much older than I.
"Marigold this is Dorothy she is to be your lady's maid."
Dorothy did a small crusty.
"Miss."
Victor, John valet came towards us.
"I'm sorry to bother you Mr Astor however you have Mr Issac waiting for you on the line."
John gave Victor an annoyed look.
"Can't it wait, we've only just arrived home."
"I did tell him that sir, however, he said to tell you he was sorry but it simply cannot wait."
John let out an exasperated sigh before looking at me.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you in the hands of Dorothy." John did truly look aggrieved that he already had to leave me.
"It is alright, I shall unpack."
John pulled me towards him and placed a small kiss on my lips before disappearing into the drawing-room leaving Dorothy and me alone.
"Would miss like to rest she has had a long journey."
"No need I slept on the train, I would however like to start unpacking."
Dorothy bowed before the two of us journeyed up the stairs and to the bedroom.
The rest of the afternoon was spent unpacking boxes and trunks and finding space for all my stuff, I was able to fit all my clothes into the 5 doors that were mine as well as draws for my garments, Dorothy also packed away johns luggage while she was at it.
The left side of the bed was mine so I placed a few little items in the empty draw.
I hadn't realised the time, we had been unpacking for hours and I hadn't even noticed.
Dorothy who I had affectionately named dottily Finished putting the last pieces of clothing away whilst I went in search of John.
Asking down the stairs I was able to spot Victor who was walking towards the drawing-room.
John had been in that room all afternoon on the phone.
"Victor!"
Victor ceased moving and turned to me.
"Have you seen John, Dinner will be served soon."
Victor looked towards the closed doors of the dining room.
"I'm afraid Mr Astor is not able to join you for dinner."
Disappointment surged through my body.
My dismay must be visible in my face because Victor is quick to add on.
"If Mr Astor were able to he would have dinner with you, we were so excited about it and was dismayed when he realised he would have to break that promise, he has asked for dinner to be brought to the drawing-room so he may eat in there."
I suppose that should fill me with some happiness, that it wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with me.
Suddenly a thought crossed my mind.
"Well then tell the cooks I shall have my dinner brought to the drawing-room as well."
Victor was flabbergasted.
"Are you sure you would rather not take your dinner in the sunroom, it's very tense in the drawing-room?"
I hold my ground.
"I shall dine with my husband."
Victor relents.
I stride towards the drawing-room, taking a deep breath I open the doors and walk-in.
John had not expected it to be me on the other side of the door, he only briefly looked up the annoyance on his face turned to shock.
He spoke into the phone.
"James would you hold for a moment."
He brings the phone away from his ear.
"Sweetheart is everything okay."
"Yes, I just came for dinner."
Confusion and melancholy fill his face.
"I'm sure I had Victor go and tell you, but I'm sorry I won't be able to join you for dinner, I can't leave the office."
"I know, Victor did tell me so I decided to eat my dinner in here with you."
John had not been expecting that.
"Are you sure? You are welcome to, but I don't want you to become distressed, this conversation is not going to be pleasant."
"Yes, you are my husband we should share each other's problems, I won't even speak I promise, I just want to spend time with you."
A soft and welcoming smile graces his face.
"Then you are more than welcome."
I enter the room and take a seat on one of the armchairs.
John brings the phone back to his ear.
"Okay, James I want you to get hold of Mr Breaksworth and tell Him I won't take no for an answer because if we lose even a tenth of our turnover, so help me I will fire everyone in that building starting with you!"
John slams the phone down.
He is quick to dial another number.
"Mr Fredrick I want to offer you an arrangement that will benefit the both of us will you be available to meet me tomorrow, good I shall expect you no later than 10."
The door opens, 3 housemaids wheel a cart cover with piping hot dishes.
One of the housemaids approaches the side Table I am sat next to and proceeds to set it like a dining table.
The other housemaid is doing the same for John, being cautious not to miss any of his papers.
Dinner smelled Devine.
It was roast venison with roasted vegetables and mashed potatoes with a gravy tureen.
The venison had been served with a glass of red.
I began to eat, unable to control myself while I was cutting up my venison I asked John the question that had been bothering me since I entered the drawing-room.
"What happened?"
"I don't want to bother you." John try's to placate me.
Flames of irritation course through me.
Why did nobody want to tell me anything, I could maybe be of assistance.
"I am your wife! not your child. We are supposed to share our struggles."
John must realise I mean business for he places his knife and fork down and takes a swig of his whiskey.
"Do you know of my cousin William Waldorf Astor?"
The owner of the Waldorf?
"Yes, I've heard of him."
"Well he owns the hotel opposite the Astoria, did you know he built that just to spite me? He knew New York was my territory and he had the nerve! A few years ago he added to his chain by building a Waldorf in London."
Territory?
How old were these men five?
"Regardless I decided to get even, I built the Astoria opposite the Waldorf."
Of course, he did.
Honestly.
It amazes me how successful men always want to assert their dominance.
"As I expected the Astoria was quick to rise in popularity succeeding that of the Waldorf and that hadn't sat well with William, he is attempting a smear campaign against the Astoria, selling fake stories to the newspapers about the Astoria and trying to destroy its reputation, so I've been in touch with Mr Fredrick he is a notorious critic and a very well respected one if he were to give the Waldorf hotel a negative review that would damage the Waldorfs reputation." Johan boasts proudly.
They were children honestly, no I've seen children behave better than them.
I decide to offer my input, as daring as it is.
"Well rather than tear each other's businesses to closure, why don't you write to William and propose a merger." I chew on a piece of the meat as I let my suggestion sit.
As expected John was mortified.
"No! I would never work with the likes of him."
John stabbed at his meat, no doubt imagining he was cutting into William Waldorf's head.
I push forward with my suggestion.
If I were to make John see the business opportunity, at least he would not dismiss the idea.
"You don't have to like him, you just have to be willing to work with him. John the Astoria and the Waldorf are two of the most elite and Beguiling hotels in New York, their staples of tourism. What do people think of when they think of hotels in New York, the Astoria and the Waldorf. Instead of competing against each other until only one hotel is left standing and one of you loses a lot of money, you merge and profit from each other. You Said so yourself the Astoria is still a brand new hotel, the Waldorf has the prestige of years of notoriety you could benefit from being linked to such a spotlight whereas the Astoria has all the latest amenities that the Waldorf lacks in its grandeur, you both have your guest, the older Nobility and socialites have always preferred the Waldorf but you attract the younger nobility, you both would double your profits I have no doubt, you could still keep your separate building and staff you just work under one name. imagine it the Astoria-Waldorf hotel."
John doesn't answer back so I like to think I've at least got him deliberating my opinion.
I may not have gone to university but that doesn't mean I was an unintelligent socialite only interested in the latest fashion or gossip.
We Finnish our dinner in silence.
John once again returns to his paperwork and I go to the salon and rest by the fire.
It's been such a long day, this morning I was eating breakfast in Philadelphia with my family, since then I have travelled to a new place, unpacked all my belongings, been introduced to the staff and gotten into a debate with John about how he should run his business.
My mind travels to my family wondering what they are doing now.
Father has most certainly retired to his office, mother will be reading the gossip column of the newspaper and rose will be hauled up in her bedroom trying to keep out for the way of mother.
There is an ache in my chest when I think about my family, It's not been a day since I bid them farewell but I still long for them and the familiarity.
Fatigue progresses through my body, it seems today event have finally caught up with me.
So I decided to go up to bed.
Dotty is waiting for me when I arrive, she had just finished turning down the bed when I entered.
"Dotty would you fetch me my nightgown."
"Certainly Miss, which one would you like."
"I don't mind."
I take a seat on the vanity chair and begin pulling the pins from my hair.
Dotty chooses a nightgown from the wardrobe and lays it in the bed before grabbing a brush and begins to work on my hair.
Not one to sit in silence I attempt to engage dotty in a conversation but as quickly disappointed with one-word answers.
I longed for Trudy we would always converse when she was helping me prepare.
After my hair is brushed and aired out dotty begin helping me undress and starts unlacing my corset.
Once I'm in my undergarments I disappear behind the changing screen to place my nightgown on.
After dismissing dotty for the night I climb into bed and just rest my head on the pillow.
I am tired however sleep is yet to take me to the land of dreams.
Maybe it's the unfamiliar surroundings, or perhaps the bed, this bed was firmer than my old one.
All I do is stare at the clock as the small hand goes from, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock.
Just as my eyes were beginning to droop the doors open.
John quietly walks into the room and behind the screen.
After a while my eyes once again open and the covers are pulled up and another weight is added to the bed.
Warm arms wrap themselves around my waist and pull me back slightly to a warm chest.
A small kiss in places on my hair.
This is only the second night I've slept with anyone else, I will admit this is going to take some getting used to.
It would take another hour of listening to johns snores before slumber finally drew me in.
