Chapter 25
Poems! He likes poems?! Wah! I didn't know he enjoyed poems?!
Sitting in front of her vanity cabinet, racking her brains, Ha Jin kept replaying her last conversation with So in the courtyard. She can't believe that the 4th prince actually like poems, prefers poems.
Where would I get a poem? Shall I write him one?
Ha Jin shakes her head exasperatedly. She's already having a hard time stitching sentences in a book plus her handwriting is still sloppy, she doesn't know where to find a poem, let alone write one on her own.
Putting both of her elbows at the top of the cabinet, Ha Jin rests her chin on her hands, sulking. On there way home from the courtyard, she had asked Baek-Ah if he also likes poems, apparently, everyone in this era, even men favors poems. She thought it was just noble ladies.
Eo-tteoh-ke hae-ya ha-ji?! (What shall I do?!)
One of her hands leaves her chin and unconsciously drums her fingers at the surface of the cabinet, playing with Hae Soo's box of dwikkoji. She opens and closes it, tapping at its surface thinking of a way to find poem for So.
Jamkkan! (Wait!) Why do I need to send him a poem? I already gave him a gift, if he doesn't like it then never mind. It's his problem.
Going back and forth between sending So a letter or not, Ha Jin lets her head fall to the top of the cabinet, banging it once, twice and then she rest her head, looking at Hae Soo's box. She suddenly sits up, now focused on the box. She takes it in her hand and turns it over and under, looking for that secret compartment, unexpectedly remembering the letter she had found inside it when it accidentally fell on the floor in her haste to give back So's dwikkoji.
It takes her a few shaking and a lot of knocking at its side before she was able to locate the secret compartment. Carefully taking out the letter, she unfolds it to reveal the lock of hair tied with white ribbon around it. She raises the hair into the lantern nearest to her, examining it. The color and texture of it looks familiar but she can't place where she saw it. She puts it back in the compartment for now and opens the letter to read again.
床前明月光 (In front of my bed is a bright moonlight)
疑是地上霜 (I supposed it is a frost in the ground)
舉頭望明月 (I raise my head to view the bright moon)
低頭思情人 (Then lowers my head thinking of my beau)
Squinting, she reads the characters over and over, trying to find some context clue to piece the characters into a sentence. She recognizes the hanja(s) for bright moonlight, frost, ground and head but still, she's having a hard time understanding the sentences.
Standing-up, she takes the letter with her, intending to go to Wook's study chambers and look up some books that will help her understand the poem.
Upon reaching the vicinity of the library, Ha Jin notices that a few lights are still on inside it. Inclining her head, she wonders if the 8th prince is still awake and using his chambers. She knocks on the door, announcing her presence.
Inside, Wook is busy with the royal decrees he had taken home to examine. He looks up as he hears Hae Soo at the door. He puts down the scroll he is holding and allows Hae Soo to come in.
"Annyeong haseyo wangjanim," Ha Jin gives her greetings as she enters the room. Putting both of her hands at her back, clasping the letter. She walks to the side of the table where Wook is sitting.
"What brings you here at this time of the night, Hae Soo-ya?" Wook leans back at his chair, watching Hae Soo.
Having her balance go from one foot to another, Ha Jin shuffles chewing on her lips, thinking twice before asking for the 8th prince help. "Kuenyang… I have a letter here … I mean in my possession… that I don't remember… receiving but I'm pretty sure it's Hae Soo's… I mean mine."
"And?" Wook focuses on Hae Soo's hands that are hidden behind her back.
"I can read a few of it… I understand a phrase here and there…" Ha Jin answers looking away.
"Will you let me take a look at it?" Curious as to what the letter is all about and from whom did the letter came from, Wook asks Hae Soo for permission, offering his help in the process, "Che-ga ilg-eo deu-ril-kka-yo? (Shall I read it for you?) I don't mind."
"Ahm…" Ha Jin purses her lips, thinking for a few seconds.
Noticing Hae Soo's reluctance, Wook back tracks not wanting to seem like he's snooping but it only made him more interested, "It's alright if you don't want me to. How about I direct you to some books that can help you with it?"
Embarrassed to be caught hesitating, Ha Jin brings her hands in front, showing the letter to Wook, "Aniyo, Please do so."
Wook cautiously observes the letter in Hae Soo's, still hesitant but with his curiosity killing him, he takes it and unfolds the letter. At a closer inspection, the letter is written in a simple translucent white hanji (1) (Korean paper) folded into three. At the outside fold, the words,
"Na-ui Hae Soo (My Hae Soo)"
is written. Inside, at the middle of the paper, the hanja(s) are neatly arranged in four columns.
Reading the words, Wook recognizes the poem by the end of the first line. It is after all quite a popular poem from the Tang Dynasty written by a poet named Li Bai. He can easily recite it by heart but the characters on the last line capture Wook's attention. The original characters was replaced from:
故鄉 (hometown) to 情人 (beloved)
Wook rereads it again just to be sure. The word, hometown was replaced with beloved, to express longing for someone's lover instead of home.
Ha Jin stands beside the 8th prince, leaning in, she reads the letter over Wook's shoulder, trying to make sense of the sentence structure.
"How much of the letter do you understand?" Wook looks up, hiding the faint jealousy that is simmering inside him upon realizing that the letter is actually a love letter for Hae Soo, "Do you know who sent you this?"
Wook is not so sure but he thinks he recognizes the writing. Studying with his brothers for years made him familiar with their calligraphy. It is definitely one of his brothers but he can't remember whose.
"I don't remember who gave me this. I only found it in my belongings." Ha Jin answers, looking from Wook to the letter. "I understand the first sentence, something about seeing the bright moon and snow? Or frost?"
Wook considers Hae Soo's words, judging her ability to read. He knows she can read and write a lot of hanja(s) already but since the words are written as prose, he understands how Hae Soo would still be confused with the sentence structure.
"It's a poem about a person longing for his hometown, see here…" Wook proceeds to explain sentence by sentence, the original meaning of the poem to Hae Soo, completely withholding out the part that the poem is used to express the yearning of a man who was separated from his lover. "The poem is quite popular up north, where you and Myung Hee lived."
Ha Jin listens attentively and repeats the explanation just to clarify, "I see, so it's a beautiful poem about missing your hometown."
Ah so there's no harm if I copy this poem and send it to So wangjanim…
Wook hesitantly nods, unaware of the idea forming inside Hae Soo's head. His own mind is busy with recalling a different poem, one that expresses his own feelings. He intensely gazes at Hae Soo, wondering if he should make a confession too, afraid that Hae Soo is earning too much attention among his brothers these days, his household might just get an official proposal from a royal family soon. His face darkens by the thought but he maintains his composure, hiding it from Hae Soo.
"Hae Soo-ya, since you're leaving for the Damiwon in a few days, can I gift you with a poem too?" Wook asks, wishing he could cross the line just once.
Oblivious with what the 8th prince truly feels for her, Ha Jin doesn't see anything wrong with accepting a poem from Wook, "Kuereomyo! I would very much like that."
Encourage by Hae Soo's enthusiasm, Wook smiles and proceeds to give back the letter to Hae Soo. He then spreads a hanji at his table and gets a brush to write down a poem he had found for Hae Soo.
Over his shoulder, Ha Jin watches Wook's calligraphy, reading a few characters here and there.
(2) 楊柳青青江水平 (Green, o green is the willow, placid, peaceful the flow,)
Finishing the letter, Wook dust a few powder on top of his writing, drying the ink. He folds the hanji into four and hands it to Hae Soo, "Will you write me back?"
"Dang-yeong-ha-ji! (Of course!)" Ha Jin readily agrees, not totally understanding what she just read.
"Kuereom, let me wait for your reply then." Wook breaks into a big smile, hiding the skipping of his heart.
On a different daechung, inside the Kang household near the port, Lady Shinjuwon sits alone on a long table, being served her dinner. Unlike most daechung, which are open and well lit, this daechung is only lighted with a very few lanterns that gives off a yellowish and orangy glow. Lady Shinjuwon doesn't like a brightly lit room or a sunny summer day since she easily gets migraine from a strong light. Though she enjoys the light breeze of spring, her scented incense is everywhere in the room, filling it with that heady smell of earthy musk.
Guen Sun, her right hand man, stands beside her, waiting at her command.
"So you're telling me that my son was sent back to the north by his father?" Lady Shinjuwon asks, her tone, quiet and contained. No hint of what's going on inside her head.
Tensely, Guen Sun answers, "Yie your highness. The 4th prince is tasked to see how our northern borders are faring at the moment."
A gungnyeo comes in and carefully fills a glass with Yagyongju (medicinal wine) for Lady Shinjuwon. Taking the glass, she brings it to her lips, dismissing the gungnyeo, "The north is too large for my little boy to handle. Did he gained back the support of his birth clan already?"
"My sources inside the palace say that the Queen dowager had never taken back the 4th prince even after the king had let him come home." Guen Sun answers looking far ahead, a statue reporting.
"Joh-da. (That's good then.) The boy has nowhere to go but to us." Lady Shinjuwon plays with her glass, stirring the wine inside.
"If the queen dowager isn't so blinded by her pride, she would have realized by now that the 4th prince is shaping up to be a formidable contender for the throne. Even the king acknowledges this, trusting him with important position of military command in the north." Side glancing with his eyes, Geun Sun is nervous to say the next piece of information he has, "The 14th prince, Queen Yoo's 4th son had also volunteered to be sent to the north, following the footsteps of his 4th brother."
Lady Shinjuwon stops playing with her glass, considering Queen Yoo's move. "Did the queen dowager send him?"
"I heard the 14th prince is quite ambitious, coveting the position of military command though they say he doesn't have eyes for the throne." Guen Sun explains.
"Positioning her 4th son to control the military garrison while his 2nd son holds the treasury, I must commend the queen dowager then, quite a good strategy for her clan." Lady Shinjuwon inclines her head, looking dangerously at Guen Sun. Her irritation palpable in the air, "Shall we cut off a few limbs of the Chung Ju Yu clan? We can't just turn the throne to them that easily."
"If I may your highness," Guen Sun suggests, "I think it is time for you to take up your seat in the ministry."
The structure of King Taejo's government is based on Tang Dynasty, with Three Chancelleries, headed by the seja and under him are the three aristocratic clans holding the warden position of the north: The Kangs of Shinju, the Chunju Yu Clan and the Hae Clan, who gave their seat to the Hwangbo clans.
The Revenue Rites that Yo is holding, under him are the six ministries of personnel, held by Wang Ryeom Sik, Wang Gyu, Park Sul Hui, Wook, and Baek-Ah. Won and Eun is temporarily occupying a seat that is allotted for a representative from the Kangs.
The Military Justice falls under General Park and So. Jung is apprenticing under his 4th brother.
And the Public Works that is also run by Mu.
A thin dangerous smile appears at Lady Shinjuwon's face, her head turning on it's wheels "Keu-reol-kka-yo? (Shall I?) Let's make sure my son gets the whole north then. Who holds the seat of the Hae Clan in the ministry?"
Guen Sun explains the strategic political marriage of the 8th Prince to the heir of Hae Clan, Lady Myung Hee, "But I heard, the girl that the 4th prince plays classmates with is an orphan from Hae Clan. She had been living with Lady Myung Hee's household since she was five."
"Look-up the registry of the girl. Maybe my son's close relationship with her isn't so useless at all." Putting down her glass on the table, Lady Shinjuwon considers Hae Soo for a moment.
Her spy had been informing her of the comings and goings of the 4th prince ever since he came back to the palace and the girl had only been mentioned in passing. So had been very careful with dealing with Hae Soo, scowling at her in front of other people and making it look like he is only nice to her because he is being commanded by the seja but their last conversation in the courtyard had drawn too much attention to both of them that everyone wonders if there is more to their relationship other than the forced classes between them.
"Let's pay the Hae household a visit. I'd like to meet the girl."
"Yie your highness, I'll arrange for it." Guen Sun nods, "And the 14th prince?"
Lady Shinjuwon stands from her seat, done with her dinner. Trailing her spidery fingers in the table, she comes closer to Guen Sun. Guen Sun stops breathing as she whispers at his ears "The north is a very dangerous place for a kid to play, shall we show the Chungju Yu clans the same courtesy they showed my little son?"
"Whatever you command your highness." Geun Sun answers all serious, a smirk starting to form on his lips.
Along their way going to the province of Anju in the north, the general's party stops over a cypress forest to take a rest. It takes around three days to reach the province if a messenger rides his horse with only a few rest but with the large party that they have, composed of the two prince, the general and around 50 soldiers, the travel time doubles and they can't fit in a local tavern. Come night, they put up temporary tents inside the forests for resting.
So finds his 14th brother sitting in a large stone by the stream, looking over some pouch. He approaches him to see how he is doing.
Jung had just finished his dinner and is resting by the stream. His back aches from riding the whole day. He stretches, sitting in a secluded spot away from other people, not bothering to take a lantern with him. The waning half moon's light is enough. He takes out a small silk purple pouch, a gift from his Hae Soo on his first excursion up north last year. Inside, is a lock of hair with a white ribbon tied around it and a letter neatly folded into a small square with a pressed lavender flower as a seal. Carefully unfolding the letter, he reads:
(3) 海上生明月 The moon, grown full now over the sea,
天涯共此时。Brightening the whole of heaven,
情人怨遥夜,Brings to separated hearts
竟夕起相思。The long thoughtfulness of night.
灭烛怜光满,It is no darker though I blow out my candle.
披衣觉露滋。It is no warmer though I put on my coat.
不堪盈手赠, So I leave my message with the moon
还寝梦佳期。And turn to my bed, hoping for dreams
The words come easily to him, having it memorized by heart. He likes looking at her handwriting, a reminder of her delicate touch and warm presence. It's only been two days since he last saw Hae Soo but he misses her already.
He takes out another small thing covered by a silk handkerchief that fits the palm of his hand easily. Inside it is a thin clover shaped soap that came from Hae Soo. It wasn't exactly given to him but he had asked for it while Hae Soo was doing one of those soaps the night they walked in the storage room and he tells her he's leaving.
He brings the soap to his nose, smelling the sweet orangy zest that Hae Soo used as a fragrance. He smiles, remembering her.
Walking towards him, So quietly observes Jung as he makes his way beside him. He announces his presence and startles Jung.
"Hyungnim!" Jung starts to rise, hastily taking his stuffs to bow to his 4th brother.
So allows him to sit, observing the things Jung was relishing moments ago.
Moving a little further to the side of the stone, Jung gives space for his 4th brother to sit on. He carefully puts back his things inside the pouch, putting the lock of hair first and folding the letter and then the soap. He doesn't want his 4th brother to see his things but he wouldn't want to be hasty with it too.
So sits beside Jung, looking away, giving his brother a privacy but he couldn't help but ask, wondering if the things Jung are holding came from a girl.
"Seon-mul-i-ye-yo? (A gift?)"
Jung stills on his seat, his hands tensing on the pouch. He nods, seeing as his brother already saw it but slowly, ever cautious, he stashes away the pouch inside his jeogori.
"From whom?" So glances back to his brother.
Jung shrugs, pretending it's nothing. He asks one of his questions instead, "Hyungnim, are you close to Hae Soo?"
It's So's turn to put his guard up, he doesn't answer.
"You share the same class with her, it's understandable if the two of you are friends." Jung tries to explain his Hae Soo's action towards his brother, convincing his self more than So, "She's affectionate to everyone these days. I hope you don't misunderstand. I saw she gave you a gift."
So remains quiet, not wanting to confirm or deny. He feels possessive of the things he shares with Hae Soo.
"Have you seen her with Baek-Ah hyungnim?" Jung continues after a few silence, seeing as his brother isn't keen to answer, "He can openly put his arms around her and she doesn't mind at all. Though, I think it's only Baek-Ah hyungnim who can do that. Baek-Ah hyungnim always hits Eun hwangjanim whenever Eun hwangjanim tries to touch Hae Soo."
Jung chuckles remembering how their group hangs out together almost everyday, he not only misses Hae Soo but he misses his brothers too.
"Are you also close to Hae Soo, the way Baek-Ah is? I saw you always hang-out together. How long have you and her been friends?" So asks,
Friends.
Jung turns the word in his head, wondering if that is what he and Hae Soo is now. He changes from chuckling to smiling sadly. Even in the dim light of the moon, the longing and something along the lines of regret can be seen on his face, regretting every minute of leaving Hae Soo last year. He believes that maybe if he didn't leave then Hae Soo wouldn't drown. Maybe she wouldn't lose her memory. Maybe they would still be meeting in the pavilion at night and go to the lantern festival the way they have promised. She would only have eyes for him and he would bask in their secret meetings, having her all to his self and have her introduced to his mother and ask for her hand in marriage at the right time. But he left and she drowned and loses her memories and every promises they had are only remembered by him. Just him.
When he thinks about it, there's no point that he left last year, their status is still the same. He is still just a prince, with only a title to his name. He still can't introduce her to his mother for fear that she won't agree to their relationship.
His Hae Soo is aware that her standing as a noble lady is as empty as Jung's so she would have agreed to only be his second or third wife but Jung promised her, he will only have her as his first and only wife.
And here he is again, leaving. He wishes there would be another change when he comes back. A change for the better, he hopes.
"Hyungnim, if there is a girl you like so much but can't protect at the moment, will you still pursue her or wait for the right time?"
Sidetracked from his own question that he wants Jung to answer, So is reminded of his own motivations why he left, "I'll stay away until I have the power I need to protect her."
"And if it's too late?" Jung badly wants to hear an assurance that the choice he made this time is also right.
So's lips form a thin line, looking more serious than his usual scowl. With his hair falling into his mask, covering almost half of his face, keeping that side in the dark, So looks every bit cold and dangerous, "Then I will move heavens and burn everything to the ground."
"Kuereyo?" Jung nods looking ahead, starting to consider his brother's words, "Maybe I should do that too. Kamsahabnida hyungnim."
So looks back to Jung, "Mu-seun kka-dalg-eu-ro? (For what?)"
Jung shrugs, "For taking me as an apprentice under your military command. Sa-sil-eun…(The truth is…) I know I would never get a chance to sit on that throne nor do I desire it. I only want a sit on the council that will afford me some power to protect what I treasure most."
"Mu-eot eul je-il won-hab-ni-kka? (What do you most desire then?)" So asks, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice, jealous towards the affection that his brother gets from their birth mother, "I'm sure the queen dowager would easily protect it for you, if you asked."
Jung burst into a sarcastic laugh, slipping into a mistake, "I don't think our mother would approve of my choice for a wife."
"So it's a girl." The end of So's lips curl into a smile, amused of his brother, "The one your heart truly desires."
Since Jung can't take back his mistake, he stops laughing and only nods, retuning to that yearning expression on his face, "I know it sounds preposterous and shallow but that's all I ever dreamed off, marrying her and living a quiet life."
"Al-gess-neun-de, na do won-ha-neun keot-i-da (I understand, that is also what I long for.)" For a moment, So let's his brother see a soft side of him, warming towards Jung.
"Eoh! Jin-jja-ro? (Really?)" Jung breaks into a wide smile, surprised to hear that his brother is harbouring affection for a girl. Glad to know his brother a little, Jung proceeds to bombard So with a lot of questions, curious as to who the girl is, "Whose the lucky girl? Do I know her? Is she pretty? What is she like?"
So looks back to his younger brother, feeling affinity with him. He smiles, standing-up and dusting his hanbok, "You should sleep, we have a long day tomorrow."
"Ei hyung!" Jung drops a little formality with So, "The night is young, let's have a drink. Please tell me something about her."
"Chal ja-yo Jung-ah (Sleep well Jung!)" So raises his hand in a wave as he walks away, ending their conversation.
Following behind, Jung tries to persuade his brother to tell him anything about the girl he likes. He chuckles, feeling at ease around So. He likes that they finally have something in common; unaware that they are not only sharing the same situation but they are harbouring the same feelings for one girl.
A mist rises in the water of the bath pool, where Queen Yoo is soaking her body from head to neck, relaxing to the waters, Yo sits at the side of the pool, keeping his mother's hair out of the water and drying it with a towel.
"I guess, it isn't so bad that Jung volunteered to do the missions up north. At least if he succeeds, our clan we'll be holding the powers of military too." Yo assures his mother.
"Still, your brother is too young to go to war." Queen Yoo anxiously stills on her bath, "Send a letter to our clan up north, tell them to have your brother taken care of well."
"I-mi haess-eo-yo emeonim, gocheong haji maseyo. (I already did, you no longer have to worry mother.) Besides, I'm sure my 4th brother will also protect Jung." Yo carefully suggests that So could be trusted.
Ever since he had seen So's heart that night their mother had thrown him away, Yo couldn't understand their mother's hatred towards his 4th brother. So was desperate to be taken back by them, even helping him clean up his mess at the risk of losing their father's trust. He can't comprehend why they couldn't just welcome him back to their family.
"Still, we can't have your 4th brother take over the military department. He belongs to the Kangs of Shinju, we don't know if he's going to betray us or not." Queen Yoo turns to Yo, making sure her point gets across. Raising her hand to touch her son's face, Yo stills. Every confusion in his mind quiets at his mother's caress. He continues drying her hair, softly, tenderly.
With her son agreeing at the wave of her hand, Queen Yoo turns to look ahead again, remembering the girl he had seen with her 3rd and 4th son, "The girl that the 4th prince had been talking to in the courtyard, I heard she is being sent under Lady Oh's wing."
The apprenticeship under Lady Oh is the most coveted position of ladies from noble families if they want to go up the ranks or marry into royal family. The apprenticeship not only teaches courtly manners and polishes their behavior but completing it makes them eligible to become a wife of a prince or a king. Though their ranking as a wife will still be dictated by the power their family holds.
Yo misses a few strands of his mother's hair, wondering if this is a good time to discuss the girl with her, "Yie eomonim, the girl is quite charming, easily finding favor under the king's eyes."
"Isn't she the same girl, who you say, is close to our Jung?" Queen Yoo recalls the scene in the courtyard, not missing the way his two sons were dotting over her.
"Yie eomonim. She normally hangs-out with Eun, Baek-Ah and Jung. Though it seems, she also commands the attention of my 4th and 8th brother." Yo decides to tell his mother what he have noticed about So's and Wook's overly fondness for Hae Soo, telling her the unique advantageous position of having the girl to their side.
"Kuereyo? Kuereom, I want to meet her then." Making a disappointing sound of tssss, Queen Yoo thinks it would be hard to have the girl to their side if she is under Lady Oh but that doesn't mean they can't use her. Her eyes form a thin line, brewing a plan on her head.
He sits at the footsteps of his foyer, watching the courtyard gets darker and the lanterns be lighted. He is waiting for her to come and visit him tonight. It seems she was busy all day and couldn't even pass by his quarters. The gungnyeo(s) were the ones who brought his dinner tonight and he refuses to eat it, not touching it until she comes.
The moon is high in the sky and he is hungry, still no sign of her, not even a shadow. He stands up and goes inside his room, wondering why she isn't coming. The other prince had left already and so nothing should be occupying her time. He feels a pang jealousy for the unknown reason that's taking her away from him. Annoyed, he lies on his bed, facing the wall. He closes his eyes and pretends to sleep.
A few hours passed and the daughter of the moon finally graces his room. Announcing her presence at the door, he didn't bother to answer, irate that she just came.
Placing her ears at the door, she listens for his answer. When it did not come, she opens his door peeking at his dimly lit room. She spots him in his bed, lying with his back to her. She wonders if he is asleep already. She enters quietly and approaches his bed, noticing the untouched food at his table. She feels for his forehead, sensing if he is having another fever. At her touch, he turns to lie on his back and opens his eyes, capturing her hand on his forehead, startling her.
He asks why she had just came. She shrugs, her face falling into a sad expression, telling him she's busy with something, hiding the fact that she had to run a few errands regarding her engagement with the other prince.
Still holding her hand, he sits up. The expression on her face doesn't escape his notice. He asks her what's wrong and she answers with one of her question, why haven't he eaten yet. He tells her, he had gotten used to her nursing him personally that he had resolved to not eat if she's not the one who brings him his food.
She chuckles, taking her hand from him. She tells him he can starve from now on, playing a joke on him. She's a princess of this kingdom, she shouldn't be expected to serve him. He takes her hand again, reminding her that he's also a prince, a crown prince, and from where he came from, he had always been served at his command and he commands her now.
With her hand in between his two hands, she pushes him away, standing-up to leave. He calls to her, telling her he was also just also playing around. He too stands, blocking her way.
Squinting her eyes, she crosses her arms against her chest. She looks haughty and pretty to him, finding her annoyance adorable. He couldn't help but reach out to her, brushing her straight mahogany hair out of her shoulder.
Stepping closer to her, she suddenly feels her heart jumping erratically in her ribcage. He then holds both of her wrists, gently trying to uncross her arms. She steps back, afraid that he might feel the strong beating of her heart. She sidesteps, avoiding skin contact with him. Lately her heart keeps skipping whenever he gets closer to her. She doesn't have a problem with touching him at his sick bed before when she was still taking care of him but now that he seems to have recovered and is comfortably standing close to her, her heart involuntarily dances.
He's back into asking what's wrong, she seems to be avoiding him these past few days. She walks to the table and tells him to eat, seeing as he hasn't had dinner yet. He adamantly refuses, wanting an answer. Lately, it is not just her who feels the sudden tension between the two of them but unlike her, he welcomes the feel of it in his own chest, savouring any emotion she evokes from him.
He approaches her at the table, coming nearer again. She steps away but he puts his arms around her, hugging her from behind, keeping her rooted. She tries to uncross his arms on her waist but he pleads with her not to. He asks her if he had done something wrong because if he did then he apologizes. He then rests his cheeks at the side of her hair, tightening his arms around her.
Sensing his heart beat as erratic as hers, behind her, she realizes she's not the only one who feels the tension between them. She keeps still, letting his arms around her. Keeping her in his one arm, he brushes his hair out of her shoulder, baring her neck to him. He leans in inhaling her scent, something lemony and sweet like the flowers she brings him. He stills not knowing if she'd let him but he plants a kiss on her clavicle, soft and chaste. Even with a cloth in between his lips and her skin, she could still feel the searing warmness of the kiss, burning in her. If she turns her head now, will he meet her lips with his?
The cozy breeze of spring plays around Hae Soo's room, entering though the window beside her bed. It brings a dewy cold air around Ha Jin, waking her up to a calm morning. She opens her eyes, automatically looking for that lemony citrus scent that had been enveloping the room of the prince.
Sitting-up, she unconsciously touches her lips, she didn't see beyond the embrace but it brings a pinkish blush on her cheeks. Though she doesn't want to be privy, she feels disappointed that she had woken up without seeing what happened next. Somehow, it seems the last scene is a dejavu, sure that she had just experienced it lately.
Jung?
She squints, mistaking her dream with what happened in the storage room, Jung holding her and planting the same kiss on her clavicle.
Ehhhh! Mal-do an dwae?! Jinjja?! (It's not possible?! Is it?!)
Aniya… aniya… aniya…
He can't look like Jung. Right?
She can't be me? And he can't be Jung?
Ha Jin shakes her head, still trying to recall the face of the prince. He sure looks familiar to her but why does she can't remember him no matter how hard she try?
She bends towards her bed, knocking her head on it a few times. Frustrated, she lies down. In a few more minutes, her dream will recede at the back of her head, leaving her with only a good feeling to start her day. Lately, she had stop being afraid of her dreams. Welcoming it every night in her subconscious, she had unintentionally looked forward to it, wanting to meet the girl and the prince.
She had a feeling her dreams are not in chronological order, seeing sometimes the lake first and then the palace burning. Occasionally it's just the room of the prince waiting for the girl to visit him. At other times, the girl meets the other prince, riding the horse with him. She wishes she could remember more but she can only wait for her dreams to come at night and take her to a different place, one familiar to her soul.
Later in the afternoon, Ha Jin sits in the balustrade of the pavilion, looking over the poem the 8th prince had given her. She holds it in front of her face, trying to make sense of the characters. Her feet are crossed with each other, swaying, a foot from the ground. She makes a sucking sound, frustrated that she can't comprehend the poem.
Shall I ask the 8th prince to explain it for me?
Aniya, aniya, aniya, What would that make me? He might think that I'm not doing well with my studies.
Chewing her lips, she rereads the poem again.
Coming inside the pavilion, Baek-Ah and Myung Hee greets a busy Hae Soo who's hidden behind the hanji.
"Hae Soo-ya!" Baek-Ah calls,
Putting down the hanji, Ha Jin looks up from the paper and smiles at the sight of the 13th prince and her cousin. She jumps from the balustrade giving her greetings.
"Ju-sim-hae. (Careful.)" Baek-Ah holds Hae Soo by the arm, supporting her.
"Kumawoyo. (Thank you.)" Ha Jin smiles, folding the hanji.
"Mwo ilg-go issni, ji-geum? (What are you reading?)" Myung Hee notices the hanji on Hae Soo's hand.
"I-geo? (This?)" Ha Jin raises the hanji, "Sida! (It's a poem!)"
Myung Hee smiles, "Cheongmalya? (Really?)"
"Kuende…" Ha Jin fidgets, chewing at her lips, "I understand a few characters but since it's written in a prose, I'm having a hard time comprehending it as a sentence."
"Che-ga ilg-eo deu-ril-ke-yo? (Shall I read it for you?)" Baek-Ah offers.
Willingly, Ha Jin hands the letter to Baek-Ah. Unfolding it, he reads a loud;
楊柳青青江水平 (Green, o green is the willow, placid, peaceful the flow,)
He suddenly stops after the first sentence, recognizing not just the poem but the handwriting too.
聞郎江上唱歌聲 (Hark and I hear on the river, songs from my love, my beau.)
Myung Hee recites the poem by heart, remembering it from the many times she had read it.
東邊日出西邊雨 (To the east, the sun is up, to the west, drizzles persist)
道是無晴卻有晴 (Though they say the sun is naught, to me, the sun is aglow.)
"Euh! Unnie, you're familiar with the poem!" Ha Jin exclaims clapping her hands once. "Wah! Daebak!"
Smiling at Hae Soo, Myung Hee nods, "Was the poem given to you?"
"Yie!" Ha Jin answers oblivious of what the true meaning of the poem is.
"Nu-gun-de? (Who?)" Baek-Ah asks, nervous to hear the answer.
"Wook wangjanim. Wook wangjanim gave it to me." Ha Jin proudly answers not sensing what's wrong with the gift.
Baek-Ah meets Myung Hee eyes, feeling the pain that is dawning on Myung Hee's chest.
"The prince gave you a good poem, so make sure you return the favor." Myung Hee smiles, looking paler, keeping the pain out of her voice, aware that Baek-Ah is observing her at the moment. "Ah I saw the 8th prince came home already, why don't you run along and attend your lessons with him."
"Andwaeyo," Baek-Ah holds Hae Soo by the arm, tensing at the politeness of Myung Hee. "She's not going to her lessons today."
"Waeyo?" Ha Jin asks, looking more indifferent by the second.
Myung Hee turns at Baek-Ah, embarrassed that he too now knows what she had been suspecting all along that 8th prince is harbouring more than familial fondness for Hae Soo. She had been looking passed it, disregarding the longing she sees on the prince's eyes but with Wook confessing his feelings for Hae Soo through a poem, the secret is no longer a speculation but now an open statement.
Without breaking her gaze at Myung Hee, Baek-Ah addresses Hae Soo, "You're not attending your lessons today and your unnie will let my 8th brother know that I'm taking you away to teach you horse back riding."
Looking from Baek-Ah to Myung Hee, Ha Jin can feel the sudden tension in the air but she doesn't understand it. She's excited to hear that she's going horse back riding with Baek-Ah but something about his stance and Myung Hee's is making her anxious.
Am I missing something? We were just talking about the poem.
"Go and change to a riding clothes, we'll be leaving in a few." Baek-Ah commands, looking serious. Ha Jin had never seen an angry Baek-Ah before. She obeys, giving her greetings and walking away, still observing Myung Hee and Baek-Ah as she leaves.
Baek-Ah waits for Hae Soo to be out of earshot before he asks, his voice controlled but angry "Is my brother on his right mind?!"
"It is merely a poem about a beautiful landscape," Myung Hee evades the question not wanting to discuss his husband's feeling for her cousin.
"The poem is about love, the last part of the second sentence was changed to express a confession," With every word, Baek-Ah's voice is becoming louder, shouting his frustration, "I have been aware of my brother's misplaced fondness for Hae Soo from the beginning but I've never said a word for as long as my brother keeps it to his self but he just made a confession to an oblivious girl, are you telling me that you are alright with it?"
"Misplaced fondness" Myung Hee turns the word in her head, over and over, whispering the words, "Misplaced fondness, what is wrong with the fondness your brother harbours for Hae Soo?"
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Myung Hee holds the tears that are threatening to come. When she got married, she didn't have any allusion that her marriage is founded in love. Wook had been good to her, gracious and devoted, she couldn't ask for a better husband. Though it pains her that the 8th prince would never return her feelings, she doesn't see what's wrong with him having feelings for her cousin. It is a common custom in their time to marry sisters from the same family, so if Wook wants to take Hae Soo too, it is reasonable to her.
Seeing Myung Hee trying to put forth braveness in front of him, Baek-Ah chews his next words. He understands what Myung Hee is getting at but he can't help but feel angry for his brother even when he knows that Wook is just as trap as Myung Hee is inside their marriage. Their marriage is no one else's fault. It is just the custom of their time and like Myung Hee, he is also aware that there is nothing wrong with Wook harbouring feelings for Hae Soo. If anything he's surprised that it took his brother this long to confess his feelings for her, keeping a careful distance with Hae Soo all this time. He appreciates that his 8th brother did practice caution towards Hae Soo but he is still not letting him have her. If Hae Soo didn't lose her memories, she would have belonged to Jung and to Jung he would surely deliver her.
Baek-Ah pulls Myung Hee into an embrace, unable to contain his self. He holds her quietly, relishing in the moment, finally having her in his arms. Myung Hee sways, light headed. Her weight falters to Baek-Ah for a second.
"Mianhaeyo, I didn't mean to shout." Baek-Ah apologizes.
Myung Hee pushes Baek-Ah away, "I'm married, Baek-Ah wangjanim, you shouldn't be touching me that way."
Tightening his arms around her for a few seconds, Baek-Ah releases Myung Hee, respecting her stand.
"I'll go and tell the 8th prince that Hae Soo will be coming with you today." Myung Hee starts walking away, shaking her dizziness, trying to clear her head.
Baek-Ah watches her, noticing her paleness and the unbalanced in her steps, "Gwaenchanayo Myung Hee-ya?"
Myung Hee opens and closes her eyes, reaching for the nearest post to grab into, she falls.
Baek-Ah hurriedly moves to catch an unconscious Myung Hee.
Baek-Ah brings Myung Hee to her quarters, passing his 8th brother on his way.
Seeing his wife being carried, Wook trails behind, worried. He gives a command to a servant to call for the royal doctor,
"What happened Baek-Ah-ya?"
"Mo-reu-gess-eub-ni-da hyungnim, joe-song-hae-yo. (I don't know, I'm sorry). We were hanging out at the pavilion when she suddenly became dizzy and lost consciousness." Baek-Ah answers anxiously, putting Myung Hee down in her bed.
Wook puts a blanket on Myung Hee and touches her cheeks, sensing if she has fever. Her body temperature feels normal to his touch but she looks paper white and a few beads of sweat appear in her forehead.
Opening her eyes weakly, Myung Hee looks at Wook and then Baek-Ah, assuring them she's all right, "It must have been the strong sun, please stop worrying."
"You don't look fine." Wook sits besides his wife, holding her hand over the blanket, "I have called for the doctor already. Please take some rest."
Baek-Ah could only watch at the side, holding his jealousy, anger and anxiety inside. He turns his back, walking towards the door. Hae Soo throws open the door as Baek-Ah steps outside. He drags Hae Soo with him, assuring her, Myung Hee's fine. He's going to keep Hae Soo for now so Myung Hee can have Wook to herself.
The next day, Hae Soo comes in at Myung Hee's quarters bringing her breakfast of light porridge and ginger tea. Behind her are servants carrying side dishes. Myung Hee still looks pale but the doctor had assured them she is not sick, just a little under the weather. He had put her under observation for the next few days.
At the scent of the porridge and side dishes being served in her room, Myung Hee rushes to her bathroom, vomiting again even though she hadn't taken any food since last night. Ha Jin observes her, following her inside. She supports her and holds her hair away from her face.
"Unnie gwaenchanayo?" Every line of worry can be seen on Ha Jin's face, in her forehead, on both sides of her eyes, even on her cheeks. Every time Myung Hee gets sick, Ha Jin falls into a habit of trying to figure out if this illness will finally be the cause of Myung Hee's untimely passing.
With her free hand, Ha Jin clasp at her chest, afraid for Myung Hee. It seems that it's not only Hae Soo who struggles with a fragile health but also her cousin.
Does it run in their family?
When Myung Hee felt like her stomach had stopped heaving, she sits down on the floor, resting her head at the wooden tub beside her, "Hae Soo-ya, could you ask the servants to take away the fermented dishes in my table? I think I've eaten something that had upset my stomach yesterday, I don't think I could eat anything that smells sour at the moment."
Ha Jin doesn't want to leave Myung Hee at the floor but she nods and obeys, racking her brain on how she can help her. She goes back in the room, having the servants clear all the side dishes and leaving only the plain porridge and ginger tea. When the food were gone and the smell clears up, Ha Jin supports a weak Myung Hee back to her bed, helping her sit up and making her drink the tea at least. Myung Hee rests her back to the wall, closing her eyes for a minute.
"Unnie," Ha Jin sits beside Myung Hee, taking her hand in hers.
Myung Hee open her eyes at the sound of her name being called, "I'm fine Hae Soo-ya. Mianhaeyo, I might not be able to fetch you to the Damiwon tomorrow though the 8th prince would accompany you there. Have you arrange your things already?"
Ha Jin lies on Myung Hee's lap, bringing a smile on Myung Hee's face, "Unnie, yeo-gi iss-eo-do dwoe-na-yo? Ddeo-na-go sip-ji anh-a (Can I stay here instead? I don't want to leave?)
"Arayo, kuende wang-ui myeong-ryeong-i-da, mianhaeyo Hae Soo-ya (I know but it's the king's mandate, I'm sorry Hae Soo.)" Myung Hee laces her fingers on Hae Soo's hair, stroking her head, "But don't worry, it's just an apprenticeship. You'll learn a lot from Lady Oh. I'm sure under her you'll relearn your court manners in no time. Didn't you say you wanted a tutor for that?"
Ha Jin did ask for it but now that she's about to undergo trainings, she can't help but be nervous. Learning her court manners means she can no longer invoke ignorance or feign amnesia. If she completes her apprenticeship, she'll be considered eligible for marriage to any noble or royal family, which she doesn't think she's ready for. Ha Jin still can't wrap her 21st century mind over the marriage practices of this time, not used to the idea that she doesn't have a choice in the matter or to a lot of things. She keeps practicing her independence and exercising her right to choose in every situation.
"Mwo-ga du-ryeo-un geo-ji? (What are you afraid of?)" Myung Hee can see that something is bothering Hae Soo. She too, doesn't want to send her at the Damiwon but they can't disobey the king. She consoles her instead, "You will only stay there during weekdays and you can come home every weekend. The 8th prince and I will visit you often."
Ha Jin turns so she could look at Myung Hee, "Mianhaeyo unnie, you're the one who is sick but it is I who gets comforted."
She tries to sit-up but Myung Hee stops her by gently holding her shoulders back.
"Gwaenchanhayo, I do not mind." Myung Hee assures her, "Kuende Hae Soo-ya can you promise unnie something?"
Ha Jin nods readily, "Whatever you want unnie."
"When you're staying in the Damiwon, keep your head down and don't draw too much attention to yourself, alright?" Myung Hee wants to make sure that Hae Soo will not entangle herself with the palace, "Do not leave the vicinity of the Damiwon or wander around, unless you are instructed to do so. I'm sure Lady Oh will not let you leave anyway but still, you have to promise me that you won't cause any troubles for the sanggun. Don't meet any royal family members or court officials unless you were commanded to do so"
"Yie unnie!" Ha Jin raises her hand to recount the dos and don'ts that was just told to her, counting in her finegrs, pretending to be brave so as not to add worry to Myung Hee's fragile health, "Do not leave the Damiwon. Do not stir trouble. Keep my head down. Do not meet royal and court officials unless commanded to do so. The 8th prince will fetch me every end of weekdays and come home here. What else unnie?"
Myung Hee tries to shake the dizziness she's feeling. She breathes in, taking the orangy-sweet minty scent of Hae Soo, "I think our little Hae Soo got it all."
"Unnie geon-kang-ha-sib-si-yo (Please be well eoh?!)" Ha Jin turns to look at Myung Hee, "I'm not leaving until you get well."
"But you need to leave tomorrow! Don't worry about my health, the doctor said I only need a few days rest." Myung Hee answers touching Hae Soo's cheeks, "Kuende Hae Soo-ya…"
Remembering what she and Baek-Ah was discussing yesterday, Myung Hee sadly smiles, "… do not forget to return the 8th prince' kindness of giving you a poem? Think about it while you're staying in the damiwon. Then find a good poem to write back."
Chewing her lips, Ha Jin nods, her mind wondering to the poem she had written for So and how it would reach him. She will have to ask Baek-Ah to send it for her. "Ne, kkuk haji. (I sure will.) Unnie, what happens to my class with the 4th prince then?"
"Ah, the 8th prince was supposed to tell you yesterday that since his 4th brother left and you'll be entering the Damiwon, the seja had it suspended until So wangjanim comes back." Myung Hee answers recalling her conversation with the 8th prince last night. Although she was sick, she wants to make sure Hae Soo will be taken care of.
Ha Jin's face falls a little, disappointed that her class was set aside, "Kue-reo-ge? (Is that so?) Na neun geu su-eob-i cheong-mal joh-a-hae (I really like that class.)"
I'm going to kill him if he doesn't come back after a few weeks.
Pouting, Ha Jin threatens So in her mind, annoyed that he left. She unconsciously misses him, looking forward to when he is coming home.
Lined into neat order of four columns, extending from the inner gate of the damiwon to the landing in front of its door, the gungnyeo(s) were all bowed with their hands clasp in their stomach. At the middle of 2nd and 3rd column is a path wide enough for palaquins to pass through.
Lady oh waits for her apprentices, looking elegantly stern and commanding. She observes with her eyes, looking out for any inappropriate stance on her disciplined gungnyeo(s).
The spring apprenticeship for ladies is a coming of age ritual highly coveted by every lady in the land and Lady Oh only takes one or two every year. Every princess had to complete theirs and Yeonhwa had hers when she was 16.
All the princes stand on both sides of Lady Oh, with Mu heading his brothers and Ji Mong taking his place on Mu's right. They all anticpate who would be the other two joining Hae Soo. They heard there are three apprentices this year, one from another noble family and the other a trainee gisaeng who is being groomed as haengsu, the highest ranking courtesan, who sings and dances only at the feasts of royal courts. Like the noble ladies who become debutants eligible to become wives for the princes and the king, trainee gisaengs who completes their apprenticeship becomes the most sought after gisaengs who heads the tributaries for the envoys of China. If they get picked as a tributary, their status becomes of free people and is allowed to marry into noble and royal families. Though most of the time, when they get picked as a tributary, they always come away with the envoys and live in China thereafter.
Ha Jin couldn't care less, not really comprehending how much of a big deal it was to become an apprentice under Lady Oh. To her it was just another class to educate her, another household where she will be staying for a few days every week. She didn't want to take the palaquin that was sent in their household this morning to fetch her but since she was required to arrive in that ride, she had no choice but to sit inside, falling asleep on her way to the Damiwon.
When the three palaquin finally arrived, a gungnyeo approached each palaquin, knocking respectfully at its door. The lady inside is supposed to be sitting-up attentively and opens the door, coming out with their left foot first and then right. A gungnyeo offers her hand as a support and the lady stands with her eyes cast in the ground and their hands folded in their stomach, observing proper greetings. Only one lady observed this, the trainee gisaeng whose palaquin is to Ha jin's left.
Won inclines his head, recognizing the trainee gisaeng as the one serving them their wine during the spring dinner his 3rd brother threw for the ministers to win their votes. He takes a peak at Yo whose sporting his usual arrogant face, unable to read his brother's mind.
To Ha Jin's right, came out the daughter of General Park who had opened the door the moment her palaquin reached the ground. She refused the hand of the gungnyeo and stood straight like the soldier she was trained for, looking awkward on her elegant hanbok.
"Eiii, Baek-Ah hyungnim, keu-nyeo neun, nu-gu-ni? (Who is she?)" Eun whispers to Baek-Ah who is standing beside him.
"The daughter of General Park? Didn't she used to come to class with us before her mother died and her father brought her in the fields with him to train?" Baek-Ah answers watching Park Soon Deok.
Soon Deok at that moment is keeping still but using her eyes to observe. Growing up as a soldier in her father's camp, her courtly manners consist of bowing gracelessly and keeping her mouth shut when forced to socialize in the court. It's her weakness; she'd rather face an army of Khitans than brush elbows with noble ladies.
Spotting the 10th prince whom she used to hang out with, Soon Deok suddenly feels nervous, wondering if he still remembers her. Harboring a little crush for the 10th prince since they were kids, Soon Deok blushes as she meets his eyes and looks away fast.
"Ah keuereyo? I guess growing-up in the camp of her father made her…" Eun's manners dictates that he should give her a compliment but his simple mind is busy looking out for Hae Soo,"... strong?"
"Mwo?!" Baek-Ah exclaims, finding his brother's statement funny. "Ya! can't you think of a nicer compliment for her?"
"She looks strong!" Eun repeats, forgetting to whisper.
Lady Oh throws a stern look on Eun and Baek-Ah's way, warning them.
Eun puts his hand on his mouth, apologizing to Lady Oh and then turns to his 13th brother to whisper again, "But she looks strong, what's wrong with my compliment? Not many ladies can pull off a soldier look the way she does."
"Ya! kumanhae (stop it!)" Baek-Ah quietly reprimands his 10th brother, "They came here to learn their manners, you shouldn't be saying that to the lady."
"Eii but she does!" Eun pouts, finding nothing wrong with his compliment.
Ha Jin's palaquin is positioned at the center and is the last to arrive. Since she was asleep inside, the gungnyeo who knocks on her door didn't get any respond. A few more insistent knocks, some awkward waiting and a laugh that the princes were all trying to hold inside, Ha Jin finally wakes up, biting her lips as she opens her door and comes out gracelessly, stretching here and there. All eyes were on her and she couldn't be more oblivious.
My little queen never fails to amuse.
Ji Mong couldn't help but chuckle, forgetting momentarily his nervousness in seeing his little queen entering the damiwon again.
"Euh? So wanjanim-ui yeo-ja-ga? (It's the 4th prince' woman?)" Soon Deok muses, inclining her head and watching Hae Soo. "She hasn't completed her apprenticeship?"
Lady Oh can feel the headache coming, tensing her hand over her stomach she adresses Wook in a low voice, "Your wife's cousin has a lot of studying to do Wook yeodolp wangjanim."
"Yie, our Hae Soo is a little strange but she's a fast learner. Chal pu-tak-deu-rib-ni-da (Please take good care of her.)" Wook is looking all worried but a hint of delight can be seen on his lips.
Sighing, Lady Oh answers, "I sure will."
Footnote:
1 Traditional handmade paper made from the inner bark or paper mulberry, commonly known as dak in korea. It became popular during Goryeo. It was heavily trade to China.
2 Song of Bamboo Twigs by Liu Yuxi
3 Looking at the Moon and Thinking of One Far Away by Zhang Jiuling
Hello,
It's been a while. It's the last week of spring and the summer heat is upon us. Please don't forget to drink plenty of water and hydrate yourselves. :)
So over at review section, there is a little discussion regarding the nature of what happened to our 4th prince.
Since we all came from different countries, let's use the definition of international law about rape. It is defined as "a physical invasion of a sexual nature, committed on a person under circumstances which are coercive."
"In addition, in the Elements of Crimes for the International Criminal Court, the concept of "invasion" used to define rape is "intended to be broad enough to be gender-neutral".
"The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault."
Let's examine what happened to So:
1. A matter of choice. So just came back from his first experience of war. He was traumatized by the battles he had seen, forced to kill or be killed. He was then taken home to their palace, made to stand in front of the consort without even a minute of rest. He's exhausted and his brain is ready to shut down anytime. He was lured by a false pretense of comfort from his step mother, something he had never experienced from her before. Remember that he is an abused kid for the last 11 years, any show of concern for him is enough to confuse his already exhausted young mind. I'm pretty sure he couldn't think anymore. He is psychologically unstable at that moment.
2. Consent. The legal marrying age in Goryeo is 16 for men, 14 for women. The 4th prince is 15 when it first happened. Even if he's lucid or in his right mind, legally he cannot give a consent since he is underage.
3. What about the succeeding years, after he became of legal age and able to make his own choices. He is trapped in the Kang Household for the next six years. Where would he run? He's not allowed to go anywhere, guarded all the time. He's not even allowed to leave for the General's camp. Let's back track a few years before he was 15, his father didn't lift a hand even when he knows that the Kangs are not treating his son well. He just continued to have his spy look after So, his only confidant, and when that spy was killed, that's another blow on So. He's now helpless, alone and out of reach. What other choice does he have? He can kill himself, I guess? But just like Hae Soo, So values surviving over death. Thus he waits his time but that doesn't mean he consents. He was forced into it since he doesn't have any other choice.
4. What about now that he's 24, residing in his father's home, why does he still allow it? Again, he didn't agree into it. It took him months to even appear in front of his step mother because he never wants to see her again. In addition, Lady Shinjuwon clearly threatened his brothers' lives and Hae Soo's, his choices are made under threat.
Bottom line is, So never agreed into any of it. He was coerced into it. I hope this clears up a few questions. If you have more, please don't hesitate to message me :) I'll gladly answer. Don't worry I welcome any dialogues so please feel free to comment but let's practice sensitivity with the words we use because just like what one of the commenters said, although this is a work of fanfiction, the issue of rape and abuse is real. Let's take care not to offend.
Mianhaeyo if I confused a lot of readers because of my poor writing T_T Please let me try harder next time. 잘 부탁드립니다, 감사합니다
One last thing, I'm sorry I couldn't open this site from the country I visited (it was blocked in that country. Heol!) so it took me awhile to post. The other site that I posted this story is archiveofourown . org since a few guest readers requested it. Over in that site, there's a few rewrite and a lot of proofread sentences. I usually put it in the notes if I ever rewrite a few paragraphs in each chapter but the chapters are basically the same, except outtakes are only posted here so the number of chapter are not the same.
And this chapter is a breather. (What?! three weeks of hiatus and you give us a breather? I know I know.) We're entering a few new arcs, so I had to do establishing sequences. Mianhaeyo. (wink wink)
Aja!
